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About this blog

I was banded on December 17th, 2009 by Dr. Robin Blackstone of Scottsdale Bariatric Center. I received my first fill (3cc) on 1/27/10, second fill (1.5cc) on 2/10/10, third fill (.75cc) on 3/1/10, fourth fill (1.25cc) on 3/29/10, fifth fi

Entries in this blog

 

Jazzercise Saturday, Sunday, and a Surprise!

I recently decided that I needed to step up my exercise program so I made it a goal to exercise EVERY day (either Jazzercise for one hour or walking on my treadmill for half an hour). My favorite exercise is Jazzercise (and it is a lot more intense than walking), but I can only get to that on Tuesdays and Thursdays during the week due to my schedule.   So, I planned to walk the rest of the week on my treadmill and maybe TRY to get to Jazzercise on Saturday morning too. I never have gotten into the routine of doing it on the weekends before because it just always seemed too hard to wake up early on the weekends. But, I'm proud to say I did it this weekend! And, not only did I do Jazzercise at 8am on Saturday, but I went today (Sunday) too at 4:45pm. Woohoo!!! :thumbup:   And, as if all of that isn't awesome enough, after class was over today, the instructor walked up to me and told me how great I move and that I could be an instructor. What?!?! Did she not notice that I am the fatest one in the room??? I was blown away. I am really good friends w/two of the other instructors (actually one is the owner), but this instructor did not know me at all nor did she know I was friends w/them. I'm used to friends saying nice things and just thinking they are saying that to be nice, but this was totally out of the blue from someone who doesn't know me. Wow!   Not that I want to be a Jazzercise instructor, but having spent my whole life feeling physically inept and awkward because of my size, its fantastic to get a compliment like this. :rolleyes2:
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Its 3am and I'm eating cottage cheese...

:w00t::frown: because I CAN!!! :sad::w00t::mad:   Finally, it is Monday (4 days post-op) and I am allowed food. I never knew cottage cheese could taste so good. I was afraid to put my normal spices on it just yet, but the delicous creaminess, texture, saltiness is just perfect on its own. Yummmmmmmmm!!! :scared2:   I am taking it slow, chewing well, and not drinking water. So far, my tummy is happy, VERY happy!!! :cursing:
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In a Parade Today!

A bunch of the instructors and members of Jazzercise in my town were in a parade today. Anyone who is a member of Jazzercise could be in the parade as long as you bought a t-shirt. We all got crafty and modified our t-shirts (cut them up and blinged them out). We have ladies of all ages, shapes, and sizes. I am the largest in the group, though.   At first, I hesitated on saying I would do the parade. I was afraid it would be too hard for me. But, then I decided to take it as a challenge and represent the big girls. I think there are just so many larger size ladies who think they can't have fun exercising or don't feel comfortable joining a group exercise class. I wanted them to look at me and realize that if I can do it, they can do it.   But, boy oh boy, was it hard! All uphill in the blazing sun, over two miles, and two HOURS of Jazzercising. My instructor's husband was driving a truck in front of us w/a cooler of waters. And, at one point, I was dying of thirst, but could not catch up w/the truck to get some water. :eek: I finally did catch up and rehydrate, though. And, the crowd was cheering loud for us and really encouraging us on. My husband brought our kids out to watch me in the parade and they were all so proud of me. It was an awesome feeling and accomplishment for me to finish it without medics having to be called in. LOL :thumbup:   Now, my muscles are sooooooo sore. I took a three hour nap this afternoon, drank a ton of water, and did two protein shots already (trying to boost my protein for muscle repair), but my muscles are still sooooooo sore (especially my butt!!!). Youch! :cool:
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I've been instructed to eat a little dessert... huh???

This is kind of a long one so bear w/me...   I went to my surgeon's lapband support group last night. I've been doing great lately w/my band, but I still try to make it to as many support meetings as I can. I figure its free therapy (led by one of the psychologists from my surgeon's office) and I do learn something new at every meeting (either from the psych or from one of the more experienced bandsters). We have a lot that go to the meeting that are at goal.   OK, so earlier in the day I had an odd discussion w/my 4 yr old daughter. On the way to preschool, she told me in the car that she wished I never had surgery. Yes, I've told everyone about the surgery, even my 4 yr old daughter and 6 yr old son. They know it is to help mommy get healthy and they seemed happy w/that explanation before surgery. So, it totally throws me off that now my daughter is saying she wishes I didn't have surgery. :huh2:   I told her I'm all healed now, feeling great, and that its really working so I'm happy I had surgery... and ask her why she wishes I didn't. And, she said its because I can't eat dessert anymore and she wants me to eat dessert w/them. I explained to her that I CAN eat dessert, but I'm just choosing not to because it is healthier for me to not eat it. But, for a 4 yr old, the idea of delayed gratification or doing something for one's health is just not a concept that can be easily understood.   Long story short (woops, too late!), the advice I got from the psych is that he thinks I should eat a little dessert (not just for the kids, but for me too). He said that I'm slipping back into a 'diet mentality' of deprivation and extremes. Well, he didn't put it that bluntly, but I got the point. And, man, is he ever right on!!! :rolleyes2:   I knew going into this that my biggest challenge would be embracing moderation and no longer living in the extremes. I just didn't realize that I had slipped back into an extreme. And, he also doesn't approve of my rule of no alcohol and exercise every day until I've lost my 10 pounds for the month. He considers that diet mentality as well and too strict. But, I have a feeling that the dietician and exercise physiologist would feel different about that! LOL :thumbup:   Anyway, so I've decided I will eat a little bit of dessert when my family has dessert, but still not sure if I will give up my 10 pound per month goal. I figure I'll stick to it until this month's 10 pounds are gone and then see how I feel. I only have 6 pounds more to make my 10 pounds this month (my month goes 2/17-3/17) and I've been losing fast since I gave up the alcohol and started exercising every day. Ultimately, I have to do what works for me and even though he may be a great psych, it is still just advice and my choice what to do with it. But, definitely food for thought. :cool:
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I'm having a hard time believing it...

Every time I look at the scale, I'm having a hard time believing the number there. This morning I got on and found that I had lost ANOTHER two pounds! Woohoo!!! I am now down 19 pounds since surgery (12/17) and 26 pounds overall (from my highest). This is all SO fast for me. Don't get me wrong, of course I LOVE it! But, for the first time, my head is having a hard time keeping up w/my weightloss. I feel like people can't possibly notice a difference, but everyone says they can. And, I can't believe I could fit into a smaller size, but I just tried some on from my closet and they fit.   In a weird way, it feels like I don't deserve this because I haven't suffered and been hungry since surgery. I have associated hunger and deprivation w/weightloss for so long now. It is just so weird to be rewarded w/the weightloss, but without the discipline and obsession w/'points' required by WW. Or, eating your teeny tiny lunch on Jenny Craig and feeling so damn hungry you want to crawl under a rock until your next teeny tiny meal.   Of course, I have to follow the band rules and I guess that is a 'diet' of sorts. But, it sure is a hell of a lot easier than any other 'diet' I have ever been on and, at the same time, I'm losing weight faster too. And, even though I am still in the 'yellow' zone w/my band (don't have quite the restriction I should), it is helping me tremendously w/portion control and hunger which is SO FREEing after this lifetime of struggling w/diets that I have endured.   So, I guess I'm having a lovefest w/my band today. I can already see that this is gonna turn out to be one of the best decisions I ever made. :bored:
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I'm back to my love affair...

w/the band! Since cutting out alcohol and other empty calories AND exercising every day, I have now lost two pounds in the last four days. Yes, this band really does work when you work with it! :smile:   I almost don't feel like I really NEED my 3rd fill that I have scheduled for Monday (I scheduled it when my weightloss had stalled), but I know I could still use at least a small fill. I'm not at my sweet spot, but I can tell that I am not that far away from it either. :thumbup:   For example, I can eat a fairly large portion right now, but I can also be satisfied on a smaller portion. And, I do think about food between meals, but I can usually get by w/just water until my next meal. Last night I was so sure my dinner was not gonna last me until bedtime. I ate at 5:30pm and was feeling the munchies around 8:00pm. I was gonna have an artichoke (healthy at least), but got distracted and tired watching TV and just ended up going to bed. Woohoo!!! :thumbup:   So, even though my restriction is not perfect w/the band yet, its definitely better than during my TOM when I was really hungry and felt like a bottomless pit. :smile:   Now, instead of worrying about not getting enough fill at my next appointment, I'm a little worried about getting overfilled. But, I'm just a worry wart in general.   My ideal would be if I can get to the point where I can still eat almost everything (if I chew it enough), be satisfied w/a small meal, and not think about food between meals. I have not PB'd or thrown up at all yet and hope that when/if I do, it will not become a regular thing. I did get stuck on a roll once (in my first month post-op) and was in pain for 5 minutes, but I don't know how to make myself puke (or I have an aversion to it) so I just waited it out. Now I have an aversion to rolls! But, that's a good thing. :thumbup:
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Goodbye Fat Clothes, Round 1

Yesterday I packed up a whole bunch of too big clothes to donate. I didn't start out planning to do this, but was getting annoyed that everytime I go in my closet lately, I have to rummage through my closet to try to find something that doesn't look sloppy on me. I've always worn stuff (especially shirts) on the loose side so even though I haven't lost a ton of weight yet, I had a lot of stuff that was looking ridiculously large.   Then, I went into my two 'Stage 1' boxes to see what I could get out of there that fits now. Let me explain... last year when I was waiting and waiting and waiting for insurance approval, a friend of mine came over and we went through ALL my old clothes. I had tons of different sizes. And, we got rid of everything that I wouldn't want to wear again. And, sorted the rest into 'Stage 1, Stage 2, and Stage 3' boxes. Stage 1 is sizes 14-18 and 1X, Stage 2 is 12-14 and XL, and Stage 3 is 10-12 and L. OK, so I went through the Stage 1 stuff and got out a few things that work now. Woohoo! Its like free clothes!!! :scared2:   But, I found that I have very few t-shirts that are my current size. So, when I was out today I bought three new t-shirts. Nothing fancy, but it feels good to have some new items that fit. I wore a new t-shirt to Jazzercise yesterday and got lots of compliments on my weightloss. I think its hard for people to see it if you don't wear clothes that fit. So for any of you that are feeling like people aren't noticing or you don't feel any different, I highly recommend some t-shirt therapy. Only $10 each and made me feel great!
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Good Body Day

You know how sometimes you have a 'good hair day'. Well, today has just felt like a 'good body day' all day. The scale has not budged, but I feel skinnier. My jeans were loose when I put them on this morning and so was my shirt. It was windy and kept blowing in the wind like it is all flowy on me (not sticking to my bulges like normal). LOL   After I had my kids off to school, I stopped at Ross to return a shirt I had bought that just didn't work w/the outfit I had imagined it with. I decided to do a little shopping as long as I was there and everything looked so good in the dressing room. My stomach just looks slimmer and not so bloated anymore. I got a great deal on three new tops... all a little snug so room to shrink. :biggrin:   OK, now its time to hop on the treadmill and get my 30 minutes in! :thumbup:
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First Stuck Episode

Just when I thought I had no resriction, I had my first real stuck episode tonight. First of all, I think I must be retaining water. I have felt bloated all day. And, I think this is what must be making me feel restricted cause I have not felt any restriction for awhile (I'm 3 weeks out from surgery and no fill yet).   Anyway, so this morning I had a baby shower to go to and when it came time to eat, I splurged on having two eggs benedict, some shrimp, and mixed fruit. I could feel the food not going down so well so I stopped eating. It was so weird for me to not finish my plate cause everything was so good.   OK, so flash forward to tonight's dinner and we had grilled salmon, grilled asparagus, pasta, and rolls. I was just gonna eat the salmon and asparagus and I could feel some of the asparagus was not so tender, but it was still going through fine. Then, I decided what the heck, I think I'll have a roll. BIG MISTAKE!!! By the time, I felt it getting stuck, I had already eaten almost the whole thing. It hurt really bad.   I excused myself to the bathroom and took my water with me. My mom had said you can take a sip of water to help it come back up if needed (she's been banded for 2 years). But, when you are stuck, the last thing you want to do is to add anything to the mix. I took some tiny tiny sips and it just made it worse. It was a weird sensation feeling the water work its way down and little bubbles coming up. I am a woos when it comes to throw-up. I don't even know how to make myself throw-up if I needed to. I remembered that someone on here says it helps to hold your hands up high in the air so I did that for awhile. That seemed to work OK and the roll finally made its way through over the course of a few minutes.   I know some stuck episodes can be a lot worse so I'm thankful this passed pretty quickly. But, I never ever want to feel that again so I am staying far far away from bread from now on. I hardly ever eat bread products anyway because I have an intolerance to wheat (makes me really tired), but just indulged today because it wasn't gonna matter if I got tired.   Anyway, this whole experience has taught me that I also really need to be careful anytime I am retaining water or feel bloated. And, I need to try to prevent that too. I think I was so bloated because I ate some really salty stuff last night which makes you retain water. And, I had wine which makes you dehydated. And, when you are dehydrated, your body reacts by retaining water too. So, I gotta really watch all that stuff now... not just for the calories (which I knew were bad), but because of how it effects your restriction.   On the bright side, I got on the scale yesterday and lost another pound! Woohoo!!!
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First Fill & 1 Month Dietician Visit

Yesterday, was the big day!!! I tried to update my blog last night, but hit the wrong key and deleted my update. But, I am happy to say everything went great yesterday. :cool:   I love my surgeon's assistant, Melissa, who did my fill. She took her time and explained the whole fill process and all the questions they will ask me each time to determine if I should get a fill. She said after this first appointment, I can decide when I want to come in again (anywhere from 2 weeks to 8 weeks). She also explained how important it is to focus on reducing percentage of body fat... that over the course of time it takes to get to goal, she wants me to go from 51% body fat to 30% body fat. I'm all for it! And, she cleared me to return to Jazzercise (which I have been dying to do - walking is so boring to me). I'm just not supposed to do the stomach crunches they do at the end of class until 8 weeks. That's OK, I am usually so worn out by the time we get to the floor work that I just lay there anyway when everyone else does the crunches.   OK, so on w/the fill. They have a big chair in every one of the exam rooms and I didn't know until this appointment that they electronically adjust all the way back so you are lying down when they put the needle in. So, I got to lying down, she cleaned the area, and told me to look away while she put the needle in. It was quick and no big deal. She gave me 2cc and then sat me back up to drink some water. The water went down fine, so she put in another cc (for a total of 3cc in a Lapband APS 10cc capacity). I drank some water again and it felt a little weird like it was not going through as fast and I felt some little bubbles, but it did not hurt. She stopped there. She told me after that she can give 2, 3, or 4 on the first visit, but most people get 3. So, I guess that makes me average.   Now, the hard part... I am supposed to be on clear liquids for 72 hours (but no juice or sugar). I am trying, but I'm not sure if I'm gonna make it that long. I already cheated a little and put a little soy milk and agave nectar in my decaf tea. I am drinking clear protein shots I got from Costco (25 grams of protein in a 3 oz tube - tastes like unset jello - 100 calories). I drink my broth or tea as my 'meal' and then the protein shot like a 'dessert'. Yeah, right, not sure how long I can last like this! :thumbup:   I'm also just curious to see if I can feel any difference when I eat from the 3cc. I might try a yogurt later today if I can't get my mind off of food after lunch. I did discover an AMAZING broth I just had for lunch. It is made by 'College Inn' and is called 'Culinary Broth' in 'Thai Coconut Curry' flavor... chicken broth infused w/a blend of coconut, curry, garlic, and coriander flavors. It has a lot of sodium, though, so I cut it half-and-half w/low sodium vegetable broth. It has great flavor, though... just the right amount of spice. OK, I am probably becomming delusional at this point from lack of calories if I am raving about a broth.
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Entering the Land of Real Restriction

Yep, I'm finally here. That fourth fill on Monday did the trick. By yesterday afternoon, I decided to try some real food. First, I had a yogurt which went down real slow. Then, I tested myself w/a solid dinner of chicken apple sausage, asparagus (slightly overcooked on purpose), and pasta. I took very small portions and cut everything super small. The skin on the sausage was a little irritating, but went down OK. But, having the leftovers today at lunch, I got stuck bad. Still no PB. I had to just tough it out until it passed through. Lesson learned... remove the skin on sausage!!! :eek:   Its kinda like now is when I really GOT my band. All of the stuff they taught me that I would need to do (small small bites and chew chew chew) was not necessary before and now, all of a sudden, it is. I'm gonna take it easy w/dinner tonight and maybe just have lentil stew or a black bean soup that has been waiting in my pantry for just such an occasion. The really good thing is that I'm still not hungry so I really don't care what I eat.   I am a little worried about tomorrow, though. I'm going to a friend's wedding tomorrow night and have no idea what is on the menu or if it will be buffet or served to us. I usually am not a fan of buffets, but I am really really hoping for a buffet this time so I can pick out just a little of the things that I think will work for me. I just really don't want to end up having a stuck episode in public and at a special event like that. My plan is to locate the nearest bathroom ahead of time and cut my food really really really small.   Working in my favor are two things. First, all of my friends know I am banded and I am sure she will have sat us all together. So, at least all of my tablemates will know why I am eating such miniscule portions and skipping on meat or dry chicken if that's what is served. They are all very supportive too and won't make me feel weird about it. The other thing is that the bride's own mother is actually banded. So, maybe, just maybe, the menu is actually band friendly. Could I actually be that lucky? :w00t:   And then as soon as I survive this wedding, what do I have next? Easter dinner! At least I am hosting so I get to choose the menu. I'm gonna make ham and really creamy delicious scalloped potatoes. Haven't figured out the rest of the meal, but my MIL is bringing baked apples (totally soft and band friendly) and coconut cream pie. Yum! Still gotta figure out some other sides. Really, I think the ham is the only thing that I'm not sure of. I have never baked a ham myself and just hope I can do a good job so it is not dry. And, the good thing is that the only outside guests are my inlaws and they also know I'm banded and are supportive.   You know, the thing is that even though everyone knows about my band and is totally supportive. They just haven't seen me ever get stuck before. :eek: And, I would hate to have that happen in front of them and then have them think badly about the band. All of us who are banded know its a learning curve. Every time we get a fill, we have to relearn what works for us and what doesn't. But, from an outsider's perspective, they see you get stuck or in pain once and they think... oh, the band is bad, makes you sick all the time. Oh well, I guess I can't start worrying now about what people think.
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Down one more pound and some restriction!

I think I am finally feeling it since my second fill on Wednesday. I was on liquids the first day of this fill and mushies/soup the second day so I couldn't really feel it. But, yesterday, I tried veggie burgers, chicken, fish, vegies, and a teensy tiny bite of garlic bread. I was happy to find that I felt good and satisfied all day on less food and I could feel that I actually had a pouch. And, with dinner (fish, vegies, and garlic bread), I had to be super careful and chew my food really well.   At first, I started eating the green beans like normal (not chewing well enough) and I could feel them going down not so well. So, I had to slow down and chew, chew, chew. I had put a piece of garlic bread on my plate in case I wanted it (otherwise my family would gobble it all up before I'd even get to try it). I ended up taking just a tiny corner off of it because I wanted the taste, but I gave the rest to my son because I knew there was just no way I could eat it.   Wow, I LOVE that! Really, a taste is all I NEED. I know on other diets, I'd do so good through the whole meal (just eat the fish and veggies), but then could undo all my good intentions by eating two whole pieces of garlic bread as I cleared the table and put food away.   Now, I know I don't have the full restriction that I need long-term because I was still looking for food a few hours later. But, I was able to avoid any additional late night calories by having some caffeine free Stash Chocolate Hazelnut tea w/a splash of soy milk and some agave nectar. I guess I almost bit my DH's head off, though, when he asked me if it was hot chocolate. He said I gave him a really mean look. LOL I didn't mean to, but I guess that was the dessert monster in me that was not so happy about having the tea. But, it worked... kept my mouth busy and warmed up my belly so I could fall asleep.   Oh, I'm also happy to see that I am finally down one more pound now. So, the scale is moving again! Lately, I've been slacking on exercise so my goal today is to get out and do SOMETHING... maybe I will load up my iPod w/some new songs and go for a walk. :confused:
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Don't want to jinx myself, but I think I might be...

either at my sweet spot or very close to it. And, I never expected it would happen this fast. I've had two fills and am at 4.5cc in a 10cc lapband APS. I just can't get over how great the band has been working for me since my second fill (last Wednesday). There isn't anything I CAN'T eat, but I'm getting full w/small meals and not hungry between meals (which is my doctor's definition of a proper fill level). So, if this restriction stays and I keep losing 1-2 pounds per week, then that may be it. Really, I have a goal to lose 2.5 per week, but I'm willing to exercise my booty off (literally :thumbup:) to get there.   Or, if I do need another fill, I think it will be small at this point (maybe .5). I really hope this level of restriction will work for me, though, because I don't really want to develop a long list of foods I can't eat (like some who have their band tighter). Right now, I have a healthy fear of bread (just doesn't go down great, but I CAN eat it if I eat it slow). I'm noticing some healthy proteins are getting harder to get down, though (like salmon, chicken breast, meat in chili). Really, I just have to remember to chew them thoroughly, though. And, I haven't PB'd anything at this point. I just have discomfort if I don't take my time and chew well.   I THINK this means I am at my sweet spot or very close to it. I am going to a support group meeting tomorrow night so I am curious to hear what others have to say about it there.   Once again, though, I was able to eat dinner last night and then NOT eat anything AFTERWARDS without being hungry when I went to bed. Woohoo!!!
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Delayed Restriction and Low Blood Pressure

First of all, I have now come to the conclusion that I am one of those people who doesn't feel a fill (lol, that sounds funny) right away. Meaning, I do not seem to swell up or feel any restriction right away right after a fill. In fact, I feel more hungry (probably because of my doctor's rule to not eat for 72 hours after). Anyway, so I got my 3rd fill last Monday and was thinking I felt less restricted after the fill than before it. And, honestly, that was kind of annoying. :glare:   Flash forward to this weekend and suddenly I am feeling a lot more restriction. I got stuck two times this weekend (on solid protein) and slimed for the first time. I kept everything down, but it hurt so bad I wished it would just come back up. :thumbup: I'm just not a puker (or PBer), though. Oh well, I gotta learn to chew and take it slow. But, that's a good thing! Even though I have a bit of a learning curve w/this, I am grateful for the restriction. I am definitely satisfied on less food now and it is lasting me longer. :thumbup:   In other happy news, my blood pressure has dropped significantly. I felt a bit dizzy doing some housework on Saturday so I took my BP and found it was 86/65! So, I have been monitoring my BP closely since then, skipped my BP meds Sunday and today, and so far my blood pressure is staying in a normal healthy range without the meds. Not sure if it will stay this way. Its hard to believe I could just drop the meds alltogether like that, but we will see. I'm gonna track it for a bit longer and then call my doctor.
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Crap!!! First Fill Postponed!

I was just grocery shopping when my surgeon's office called to tell me they had to reschedule my appointment (first fill). I was supposed to have it on Friday (day after tomorrow) and now it will be next Wednesday, the 27th. I'm not really annoyed... I know stuff comes up. But, I was just so excited to get it done on Friday. I feel so deflated, figuratively and literally! :confused:   I had made a point of not planning anything for the weekend so it wouldn't be a problem to not eat for 72 hours. And, now I gotta cancel my volunteer day at my daughter's school on Wednesday. And, my mom friends were planning to play Bunko next Thursday night and maybe I should cancel that too. It might just be torture to go play Bunko if I can't eat or drink anything.   OK, enough of my pity party. It is what it is. Bleeehghghghghghgh!!!
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Bottomless Pit

I don't know what my problem is, but I am so hungry and can eat so much since my last fill. I thought I had pretty good restriction at 4.5cc. Got my 3rd fill on Monday which brought me to 5.25cc and I am so hungry. Ugh! :tt2:   All I can think is maybe I am being too 'careful' and eating too many soft-ish foods. So, tonight I am gonna have my DH grill some salmon and asparagus. Wish me luck that it doesn't slide down so easy. :smile2:   Oh, the other thing is that my muscles have been sore and I've been tired a lot lately. I started exercising every day over a week ago so maybe my body just really needs the food to repair my muscle? I can only hope! :thumbup:
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Bandster Heck

I refuse to call it 'Bandster Hell' because its really not that bad. Heck, its just like I'm trying to diet like normal (pre-band). I refuse to journal, weigh, and calculate all my food and activity because it gives me bad flashbacks from Weight Watchers. But, I do keep a pretty keen mental awareness of how many grams of protein I am getting in, water, and calories. And, am being diligent about following the band rules. I'm trying to stay under 1500 calories per day and 70+ grams of protein. :thumbup:   I've been doing pretty good for the past couple days since NYE and all the holidays are over now. I woke up feeling like I had lost weight this morning so I got on the scale and found that I lost ONE more pound! YAY!!! :thumbup: OK, I was trying not to get on the scale more than once/week and Thursday was gonna be my weigh-in day so I certainly didn't do too well w/that seeing as today is Sunday. Maybe I better go find the SWA group now. LOL :smile2:   Oh, I also had an interesting conversation w/the cashier checking me out at the grocery store yesterday. She told me that this year she is going to climb Camelback Mountain... that she's lived here so long and its so beautiful and its about time she did it. Now, this is a short, but strenuous hike (very steep). The beautiful skinny people of Scottsdale run up and down this trail for a workout. I would probably die of cardiac arrest if I tried to even walk up it right now. But, as she said this to me, I quickly replied, 'You know, I think I should do that too.' And, it got me thinking about how much I used to like hiking and how I miss it. I even started looking up trails on the internet. I think I will pick out some easier trails first and work my way up to Camelback Mountain. And, then later this year maybe I can hike Camelback Mountain. And, if I can't make it, then the beautiful skinny people will have to carry me down! :confused:
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Bad Habits, Goals, and Commitment

The past 10 days have been kinda rough for me. I stopped losing and had a bunch of water weight come on w/TOM. The truth is I wasn't sure if it was JUST water weight because I haven't been perfect. Still having issues of slacking off on exercise and letting empty calories creep back in. And, yes, I do not have great restriction right now. I already have my 3rd fill scheduled for Monday. But, if I want to keep losing (regardless of where I am w/fills), I need to dig deep and do what I can to facilitate the weightloss.   With the very limited experience I have w/the band so far, I would say that the band is giving me 1 pound of weightloss per week if I just minimally work it. But, if I want 2+ pounds per week, I need to minimize those pesky empty calories and maximize my exercise.   So, then comes the challenge of what goals to make for myself for changing my behavior. My favorite empty calories come in the form of wine and martinis! :smile: I've been good about cutting way back, but its so easy to let one night/week turn into two nights if a friend calls and invites me out. And, when I've made goals for exercise like three times per week, its easy to not exercise on Monday cause you have the rest of the week to get those three times in. And, then its Thursday and you haven't exercised yet, but you never really decided when the week STARTS so do you just start over or exercise three days straight?   Well, I finally had an epiphany of sorts. I really really want to lose 10 pounds per month. This is the pace that gets me excited because I can picture what weight I will be in March, April, etc... onto July for my birthday, and August when we go to Hawaii. I just think it would be a perfect amount to lose per month and a challenge, but not unattainable if I put the work in.   So, I've made a new goal for myself and that is that I simply do not drink any alcohol until I've lost my 10 pounds for the month and I exercise EVERY day so there is no debate over whether this is an exercise day or not. I need to stop the mind games! So total abstinence and total adherence until I meet my goal for the month is the best I think.   And, once I reach goal, I can use the same technique, but make it that I do not drink or skip a day of exercise unless I am at or below my goal weight on that day. Do you think this will finally keep me in line??? :smile:   Well, so far I haven't had any drinks since my friend's birthday party last Friday and I've exercised every day since Monday. And, yesterday I got so busy during the day that I realized at 9:30pm that I had not exercised yet. And, guess what I did??? Yes, I actually hopped on the treadmill and walked for 30 minutes while watching TV instead of just laying on the couch. Oh yeah, I am proud of myself! I am gonna stick to this!!! :thumbup:
adagray

adagray

5
 

And, the scale stands still!

:eek:Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa... I'm on a plateau!!!! :biggrin:   Just kidding!!! I think this is just a sign that its time to stop weighing so often. I lost 10 pounds real quick after my surgery 2 weeks ago, but I knew it was not gonna continue like that through the whole month until my first fill. My swelling is gone and I don't have much restriction. I guess this what they call 'Bandster Hell', but I refuse to see it that way. My surgeon told me my only job this month is to heal... and to NOT worry about the weightloss. Smart woman! :biggrin:   I have started my walking program as of two days ago. The first day, I walked one time for half an hour, but was too tired to walk a second time in the evening. Yesterday, I walked for a half hour two times (once the the AM and once in the evening). I know if I keep this up and use a little willpower about the food, I can still lose maybe a pound a week (hopefully - like a normal diet) until my first fill on 1/22.   But, I guess its time to stop weighing every other day. Maybe I should make Thursday my weigh-in day. Only three more Thursdays before my first fill!!! :biggrin:
adagray

adagray

4
 

And, drumroll please... I have restriction!!!

OK, I know it is temporary because I am only 4 days post-op so as soon as the swelling goes down, it will probably be gone. But, for now, I am enjoying it.   Today was my first day I could eat food. I had cottage cheese and smoked salmon for breakfast. I felt satisfied, but didn't really feel full or what I would consider restriction. I could've eaten more, but stopped. But, for lunch I took two pieces of turkey lunchmeat and rolled each piece around a little bit of cheese, then microwaved it. After eating these, I definitely felt full (not uncomfortable, but definitely done) and they were not big at all. My doctor was right that the more 'solid' the food is, the more full you feel and for a long time. I'm so happy! I don't know why, but I expected that I would not feel any restriction until maybe a few fills. It was just hard for me to imagine being truly satisfied on so little.   Oh, and bonus, I already met my protein requirement for the day (70 grams) and haven't even ate dinner yet. I am doing good!!! :cursing:
adagray

adagray

2
 

A wedding, hummus, and another pound down!

Update... I was blessed w/a buffet for the evening. I was so so happy :tt1: after I saw the buffet setup and read the menu... hummus, mashed potato bar, two salads (salad has always been a slider for me). Yeah!!! Of course, there was a lot more than that that I stayed away from... lots of breads, pastas, beef wellington. But, I stuck (haha) w/just the stuff that I know as a slider for myself. So tempted to try the beef wellington. My husband told me it was so tender, but I kept all of your advice in mind and stayed clear of it just in case.   I took less than half a plate of food and nobody even noticed or commented. It was so delicious and so satisfying after being mostly on liquids this week.:smile: I can tell I have really healed since the previous night. Nothing even felt the least bit bad going down, but I was super cautious and took it slow and stopped as soon as I felt the least bit full.   I did notice how most everyone else got at least two huge platefuls, even all my skinny friends!:thumbup: I just don't have that kind of metabolism. But, I'm so thankful for this surgery so I can enjoy a meal like this (even just the mushy food), feel satisfied w/it, and still lose weight at the same time. Woke up this morning another pound down! Woohoo!!! :tt1:
adagray

adagray

3
 

A blessing in disguise...

I was so bummed a couple of days ago when my surgeon's office called to say that they had to postpone my fill from this Friday to next Wednesday. I would've been getting my fill right NOW, but I am so glad right now that I'm not. I woke up this morning w/terrible cramps and sooooo bloated. Yep, my TOM is here w/a vengeance. I can't even get my rings off if I wanted to.   I've heard that water retention and bloat like this can make your band feel tighter so I am so glad I am not getting my first fill right now. And, I usually only have PMS type symptoms the first day or two so I should be totally back to normal by Wednesday for sure. :thumbup:
adagray

adagray

3
 

4th Fill Today - Up to 6.5cc now

I'm really hoping this is the fill that will take me to my sweet spot (or close to it). Of course, I am on clear liquids now for at least the rest of the day so I won't know for awhile. But, for the first time, I can not guzzle a huge amount of water at once anymore. I can do about 4 oz at a time. I think that is a good sign. Woohoo!!! :thumbup:   And, I was able to confirm at my appointment that I have gained some lean body mass (muscle) and my body fat percentage is down to 48.6. The last time it was 49.6 so I lost a whole percentage point of body fat in four weeks which is awesome. I haven't been losing weight as quickly this month, but my clothes have been fitting better so I kinda figured I might be toning up. All that Jazzercise is paying off!   I brought my four year old daughter to this appointment because she's on spring break. I thought about having her go out of the room when I got my fill, but I just took her for her appointment at the pediatrition a couple weeks ago and she got four shots. So, I figured it shouldn't phase her too much to see me get one. She was a perfect little angel the whole time. I made sure to talk and smile through the whole thing so she would know I wasn't being hurt. She even brought her Barbie band-aids and put one on me when the fill was done. Such a cutie. :wub:
adagray

adagray

5
 

3rd Fill Today and Another Pound Down

First of all, I got on the scale this morning and am down another pound. I am now consistently losing one pound every two days ever since I stepped up my exercise and cut out the empty calories. This is awesome for me! Woohoo!!! :rolleyes2:   Then, it was off to my surgeon's office for my 3rd fill this morning. The nurse was very impressed w/my results since my second fill. Their scale showed a 7 pound loss since my last fill which was less than 3 weeks ago. I almost thought for a few minutes that I wasn't gonna get a fill. She had to go outside and check w/someone else to see if it was OK. She told me she is used to filling Realize bands more often and the criteria for getting a fill is different between Realize and Lapband (which is what I have).   I was glad to find out that I could get a fill today... no wasted trip. She put in .5 at first, I sat up and took a sip of water, then she put in .5 more and I took another sip of water, I could feel it a little in my chest so she then took out .25. So, my fill today ended up being .75 which gives me a total of 5.25cc in a 10cc lapband.   I am supposed to be on clear liquid only for 72 hours (that is the drill w/my doctor) so I have no idea at this point if this fill has really created any more restriction for me. It feels like the water is going down a little bit slower, but not sure if that is just my imagination.   I will for sure stay on clear liquids for the rest of the day, but if I get really hungry tomorrow, I will try yogurt. That is what I did last time and it worked fine for me. Generally, I don't think I have a large inflamatory response to these fills. I have not gotten sick or PB'd at all yet through this whole process (knock on wood) even though I have consistently gotten more and more good restriction after each fill.   All that said, I am very very happy w/how my fill went today. Before this fill, I felt like I was close to my sweet spot. I would be scared if I had gotten more than 1cc today... .75 seems like it might just be perfect. Of course, this is all in theory until I eat again, but so far so good. :thumbup:
adagray

adagray

4
 

3 Days Post-Op - I can eat TOMORROW!!!

First off, I woke up this morning w/the worst shoulder/neck pain ever. I was never this sore in the hospital. The pain was so bad I was crying and shaking. I had to wake up my husband to help me get the heating pad on and pour my medicine out for me. Its weird that I feel like I'm at the most difficult point w/my recovery and I'm 3 days post-op. I thought it would just get better and better, but today was a big setback. I realize, though, that I had not been doing all the walking that my doctor had recommended. And, I feel like the pain med (Lortab) is slowing my bowels too much so that I am not passing the gas as fast as I should. So, I've stepped up my walking and am trying to just take tylenol sometimes instead of Lortab all the time. Its rough! And, I just hope it gets better by Tuesday when I am supposed to go for my post-op education (3 hours in the morning - I'm am gonna be miserable if this pain is not mostly gone by then.   I am also really really really sick of broth, tea, and jello now. And, my stomach is making the weirdest noises. I am so excited to be able to eat REAL food tomorrow. I am fantasizing about cottage cheese. Yes, I am desperate at this point!   I should add, though, that I am still so so very grateful to be able to have this surgery. I have no doubt that it will be soooooo worth it in the long-run. A small price to pay for the chance to get my health back. :tt1:
adagray

adagray

5
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