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About this blog

I was banded on December 17th, 2009 by Dr. Robin Blackstone of Scottsdale Bariatric Center. I received my first fill (3cc) on 1/27/10, second fill (1.5cc) on 2/10/10, third fill (.75cc) on 3/1/10, fourth fill (1.25cc) on 3/29/10, fifth fi

Entries in this blog

 

OverFilled!!!

This was my first experience w/this. I was so miserable yesterday, I did not even feel like posting about it to my blog. But, I did post on another thread so I am gonna copy those entries here:   ********************************   5/17/10: I just got another 1cc added and am up to 7.5cc in a LAP-BAND APS (10cc capacity). This is the first time after a fill that I'm experiencing water going down slowly. I can only drink one sip at a time and there is a lot of gurgling as it goes down. Does this sound alright? I'm a little concerned just because I've never been this tight before. :rolleyes2:   My doctor says only to drink clear liquids for 72 hours after a fill, though, so I guess I shouldn't worry about it for now. Maybe it will loosen up by the time I am supposed to be able to eat. For those of you who are at your sweet spot, what do you think? Is that a normal feeling for water to go down slow and gurgle???   ********************************   5/18/10: Update... I've decided to go for a slight unfill today. I have an appointment in 2 hours. Last night, I just kept getting tighter and tighter. Then, I decided to have some warm broth. Big Mistake! That made me swell almost completely shut. I had to spit out my saliva for awhile it was so bad. Then, I alternated between sipping really cold water and spitting out my saliva and that seemed to reduce the swelling enough so that I could sleep comfortably. I really did not want to have to go to the ER and end up w/a complete unfill.   Woke up this morning feeling fine, but then took two tiny sips of water and started feeling all the gurgling and discomfort again. So, I don't know if the swelling would go down in a few days, but I can't even deal w/a few days of this. Plus, I had very good restriction after my last fill and did not have trouble with fluids. So, I really don't think it would get better enough to stick w/for the long run. Anyway, I hope she can just take maybe half out and I'll be good w/that. We shall see...   ********************************   Now, I'm back from my unfill appointment and I feel sooooooo much better. It felt better as soon as she took half the fill out from yesterday (0.5cc). So, now my total fill is 7cc instead of 7.5cc. And, boy does that half cc make a huge difference! I have never been so happy just to be able to drink water freely and protein shots. Woohoo!!! :confused:
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Too Thin for Surgery!

This is an exciting milestone for me. Yep, I now have a BMI of 34.8... too thin for surgery. Well, according to my insurance that is. Of course, I still have a lot to lose to get to a healthy weight. But, I am down 40 pounds now and boy can I feel a difference. I have a ton more energy and everything seems physically easier. :smile2:   Its the little things that really add up. Its easier to do the dishes, the laundry, pick stuff up off the floor, even just reaching across the big tub to turn the water on and off for the kids when they take a bath. I know that sounds crazy, but I used to feel like I was gonna fall over when I did that because I had 40 more pounds hanging off of me and mostly in the front of my belly.:smile:   I was trying to explain to my DH just what a difference it has made and the best example I had was for him to imagine that he had to carry our daughter, Jillian, around all day every day for everything he had to do. She weighs 37 pounds right now. Yeah, its amazing!!! :thumbup:   Well, I can now say w/confidence that this band is really working for me. I am one month out from my last fill and my restriction is holding strong. Occasionally I feel a little too tight and occasionally I feel a little too loose, but for the most part I feel just right. I am eating three meals a day (no snacks) and not feeling hungry in between. Went to Vegas this past weekend and still lost two more pounds this week! Woohoo!!! :w00t:
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Shopping in the REGULAR sizes today!

I went to Nordstrom Rack today. Honestly, I kinda hate this store. Everything is so disorganized and they don't carry any plus size even though Nordstrom does. Kinda makes you wonder where the clothes come from because if they came from Nordstrom, wouldn't they have some plus size too? :thumbup:   But, anyway, I happened to be doing some shopping nearby so thought I would stop in and look through their stuff to see if I could find some new black capri pants. The biggest size I could find there was 16 and they didn't have much. But, there was one pair of really nice looking black capris made by some designer I never heard of before. The tag said they were originally $139 :eek:, but marked down to $34. That's more like it! :tongue_smilie: Actually, a little more than I like to spend on transitional clothes, but I decided to try them on anyway.   Wow! These turned out to be the most amazing pants for a WLS patient. They fit from right above the crotch down very nicely (not tight, but not loose). Higher up, they don't really fit me. I have to suck and tuck and squeeze to get the zipper up. :thumbup: But, they are made of this really high quality stretchy material that holds my stomach in like a girdle and is actually comfy at the same time. And, they are high-waisted so no muffin top either.   When I got them home, I promptly pulled out all the smaller tops I unpacked recently that would go w/black capris and tried them all on w/my new 'girdle pants'. All of my tops cover the tight part so every outfit looked awesome. Its like I lost another 10 pounds today! :w00t:
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In a Parade Today!

A bunch of the instructors and members of Jazzercise in my town were in a parade today. Anyone who is a member of Jazzercise could be in the parade as long as you bought a t-shirt. We all got crafty and modified our t-shirts (cut them up and blinged them out). We have ladies of all ages, shapes, and sizes. I am the largest in the group, though.   At first, I hesitated on saying I would do the parade. I was afraid it would be too hard for me. But, then I decided to take it as a challenge and represent the big girls. I think there are just so many larger size ladies who think they can't have fun exercising or don't feel comfortable joining a group exercise class. I wanted them to look at me and realize that if I can do it, they can do it.   But, boy oh boy, was it hard! All uphill in the blazing sun, over two miles, and two HOURS of Jazzercising. My instructor's husband was driving a truck in front of us w/a cooler of waters. And, at one point, I was dying of thirst, but could not catch up w/the truck to get some water. :eek: I finally did catch up and rehydrate, though. And, the crowd was cheering loud for us and really encouraging us on. My husband brought our kids out to watch me in the parade and they were all so proud of me. It was an awesome feeling and accomplishment for me to finish it without medics having to be called in. LOL :thumbup:   Now, my muscles are sooooooo sore. I took a three hour nap this afternoon, drank a ton of water, and did two protein shots already (trying to boost my protein for muscle repair), but my muscles are still sooooooo sore (especially my butt!!!). Youch! :cool:
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Two pounds in two days!

I will never understand why it is, but my weight really does seem to come off in spurts w/the band. And, I'm happy to see that I'm having another weightloss spurt right now... two pounds in two days! Woohoo!!! :thumbup:   My restriction since my last fill seems to be holding strong. I am actually eating out of custard cups now. And, not because I am trying to limit my portions (my doctor doesn't have any rules about how much you can eat - just that you should not eat for longer than 20 minutes). But, if I take more than a custard cup full, then I get too full before I'm done and have to throw some away. And, I absolutely hate throwing food away! I know I gotta get over that, but for now its easier to eat out of the custard cups.   Anyway, I'm just so happy w/how the band is working for me now. It is so truly amazing. I'm almost never hungry and even if its been 5 hours since my last meal, I only feel a little hungry. I used to get so ravenously hungry my stomach would actually be in pain and I would get so irritable if I went too long without food. Even the weightloss aside, its really cool that I can just go go go without really needing food. I know that is not the point of the band, but for a busy mom, this is so very convenient. :cool:   The best thing about this last fill, though, is that I've totally lost my fear that this band won't work for me or that I won't be able to lose as much weight as I want. For the first time, I just can't imagine that it won't work. Add up the facts that I am not hungry, I am satisfied on very little food, and I am loving my exercise routine (Jazzercise) and there is just no way I won't succeed. This is nothing like any other diet I've been on because YES, I can embrace this as a lifestyle. I'm actually enjoying the journey, not just white-knuckling through it as a means to an end.   I think this might be what they call the 'Sweet Spot'!
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Goodbye Fat Clothes, Round 1

Yesterday I packed up a whole bunch of too big clothes to donate. I didn't start out planning to do this, but was getting annoyed that everytime I go in my closet lately, I have to rummage through my closet to try to find something that doesn't look sloppy on me. I've always worn stuff (especially shirts) on the loose side so even though I haven't lost a ton of weight yet, I had a lot of stuff that was looking ridiculously large.   Then, I went into my two 'Stage 1' boxes to see what I could get out of there that fits now. Let me explain... last year when I was waiting and waiting and waiting for insurance approval, a friend of mine came over and we went through ALL my old clothes. I had tons of different sizes. And, we got rid of everything that I wouldn't want to wear again. And, sorted the rest into 'Stage 1, Stage 2, and Stage 3' boxes. Stage 1 is sizes 14-18 and 1X, Stage 2 is 12-14 and XL, and Stage 3 is 10-12 and L. OK, so I went through the Stage 1 stuff and got out a few things that work now. Woohoo! Its like free clothes!!! :scared2:   But, I found that I have very few t-shirts that are my current size. So, when I was out today I bought three new t-shirts. Nothing fancy, but it feels good to have some new items that fit. I wore a new t-shirt to Jazzercise yesterday and got lots of compliments on my weightloss. I think its hard for people to see it if you don't wear clothes that fit. So for any of you that are feeling like people aren't noticing or you don't feel any different, I highly recommend some t-shirt therapy. Only $10 each and made me feel great!
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A wedding, hummus, and another pound down!

Update... I was blessed w/a buffet for the evening. I was so so happy :tt1: after I saw the buffet setup and read the menu... hummus, mashed potato bar, two salads (salad has always been a slider for me). Yeah!!! Of course, there was a lot more than that that I stayed away from... lots of breads, pastas, beef wellington. But, I stuck (haha) w/just the stuff that I know as a slider for myself. So tempted to try the beef wellington. My husband told me it was so tender, but I kept all of your advice in mind and stayed clear of it just in case.   I took less than half a plate of food and nobody even noticed or commented. It was so delicious and so satisfying after being mostly on liquids this week.:smile: I can tell I have really healed since the previous night. Nothing even felt the least bit bad going down, but I was super cautious and took it slow and stopped as soon as I felt the least bit full.   I did notice how most everyone else got at least two huge platefuls, even all my skinny friends!:thumbup: I just don't have that kind of metabolism. But, I'm so thankful for this surgery so I can enjoy a meal like this (even just the mushy food), feel satisfied w/it, and still lose weight at the same time. Woke up this morning another pound down! Woohoo!!! :tt1:
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Entering the Land of Real Restriction

Yep, I'm finally here. That fourth fill on Monday did the trick. By yesterday afternoon, I decided to try some real food. First, I had a yogurt which went down real slow. Then, I tested myself w/a solid dinner of chicken apple sausage, asparagus (slightly overcooked on purpose), and pasta. I took very small portions and cut everything super small. The skin on the sausage was a little irritating, but went down OK. But, having the leftovers today at lunch, I got stuck bad. Still no PB. I had to just tough it out until it passed through. Lesson learned... remove the skin on sausage!!! :eek:   Its kinda like now is when I really GOT my band. All of the stuff they taught me that I would need to do (small small bites and chew chew chew) was not necessary before and now, all of a sudden, it is. I'm gonna take it easy w/dinner tonight and maybe just have lentil stew or a black bean soup that has been waiting in my pantry for just such an occasion. The really good thing is that I'm still not hungry so I really don't care what I eat.   I am a little worried about tomorrow, though. I'm going to a friend's wedding tomorrow night and have no idea what is on the menu or if it will be buffet or served to us. I usually am not a fan of buffets, but I am really really hoping for a buffet this time so I can pick out just a little of the things that I think will work for me. I just really don't want to end up having a stuck episode in public and at a special event like that. My plan is to locate the nearest bathroom ahead of time and cut my food really really really small.   Working in my favor are two things. First, all of my friends know I am banded and I am sure she will have sat us all together. So, at least all of my tablemates will know why I am eating such miniscule portions and skipping on meat or dry chicken if that's what is served. They are all very supportive too and won't make me feel weird about it. The other thing is that the bride's own mother is actually banded. So, maybe, just maybe, the menu is actually band friendly. Could I actually be that lucky? :w00t:   And then as soon as I survive this wedding, what do I have next? Easter dinner! At least I am hosting so I get to choose the menu. I'm gonna make ham and really creamy delicious scalloped potatoes. Haven't figured out the rest of the meal, but my MIL is bringing baked apples (totally soft and band friendly) and coconut cream pie. Yum! Still gotta figure out some other sides. Really, I think the ham is the only thing that I'm not sure of. I have never baked a ham myself and just hope I can do a good job so it is not dry. And, the good thing is that the only outside guests are my inlaws and they also know I'm banded and are supportive.   You know, the thing is that even though everyone knows about my band and is totally supportive. They just haven't seen me ever get stuck before. :eek: And, I would hate to have that happen in front of them and then have them think badly about the band. All of us who are banded know its a learning curve. Every time we get a fill, we have to relearn what works for us and what doesn't. But, from an outsider's perspective, they see you get stuck or in pain once and they think... oh, the band is bad, makes you sick all the time. Oh well, I guess I can't start worrying now about what people think.
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NOT HUNGRY! Woohoo!!!

Just got my 4th fill yesterday which took me to 6.5cc in a 10cc LAP-BAND. And, it was about three hours after 'lunch' (broth and a protein shot), that I realized something had definitely changed w/this fill... I was NOT HUNGRY! And, I have remained NOT HUNGRY ever since. Even though I'm only allowed liquids for 72 hours after a fill, I was NOT HUNGRY when I went to bed and NOT HUNGRY when I woke up. This is frickin amazing!!! :w00t:   Yeah, yeah, I know this is one of the main reasons I got the band. My mom has the band and said that she is just not thinking of food or looking for food much anymore. And, the people who are at goal in my support group say the same thing. One lady has to set an alarm to remember to eat. And, I've been longing for this NOT HUNGRY feeling ever since I got the band on 12/17/09. Until now, I had not felt this yet... not even right after surgery or after any of my other fills so I was worried it would never happen for me.   But, now that I've experienced it, I'm happy to say it has exceeded my expectations because its not just that I'm not hungry, but I don't even feel empty (even though I haven't eaten). I feel like you feel an hour after you ate a good meal, but all the time. Well, at least for the last day. I'm hoping this restriction sticks w/me. I'm the type who actually gets tighter a couple weeks AFTER a fill so I'm also hoping I don't end up too tight. And, I haven't eaten yet, so I have absolutely no idea how this level of restriction is gonna work w/food. I can drink about 4 oz of water at once, though, and it does go down fairly quickly, so I'm really really hoping, this is it! (or close to it)   Anyway, no matter how it works out, I now know that this NOT HUNGRY thing is possible w/me. And, I am thrilled!!!
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4th Fill Today - Up to 6.5cc now

I'm really hoping this is the fill that will take me to my sweet spot (or close to it). Of course, I am on clear liquids now for at least the rest of the day so I won't know for awhile. But, for the first time, I can not guzzle a huge amount of water at once anymore. I can do about 4 oz at a time. I think that is a good sign. Woohoo!!! :thumbup:   And, I was able to confirm at my appointment that I have gained some lean body mass (muscle) and my body fat percentage is down to 48.6. The last time it was 49.6 so I lost a whole percentage point of body fat in four weeks which is awesome. I haven't been losing weight as quickly this month, but my clothes have been fitting better so I kinda figured I might be toning up. All that Jazzercise is paying off!   I brought my four year old daughter to this appointment because she's on spring break. I thought about having her go out of the room when I got my fill, but I just took her for her appointment at the pediatrition a couple weeks ago and she got four shots. So, I figured it shouldn't phase her too much to see me get one. She was a perfect little angel the whole time. I made sure to talk and smile through the whole thing so she would know I wasn't being hurt. She even brought her Barbie band-aids and put one on me when the fill was done. Such a cutie. :wub:
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Two More Pounds! Woohoo!!!

Finally, the scale is moving down some more! My body just seemed to love the range of 218-220... has been hovering there for 25 days (not that I'm counting or anything LOL). I saw 218 yesterday and have been soooooo good lately about following the rules and getting serious exercise in, I was really hoping I might finally see something lower than 218 today... like maybe 217 or 217.5. I would even take 217.9, but I have an old scale that only goes in half pound increments. But, what do I see this morning...   :w00t::w00t::w00t: 216! Woohoo!!!:w00t::w00t::w00t:   TWO pounds down from my lowest weight. And, I'm proud to say I DESERVE it! :sad:   Boy, this band will drive you crazy w/self-doubt because the weight just does not come off very steady. Seems to come off in spurts for me. But, I don't have proper restriction yet either so that may be part of the reason for this (as well as not always consistently following all the rules ). Anyway, regardless of HOW the weight is coming off, I am still thrilled w/my band because it IS coming off. :blushing:
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Struggling w/Restriction? Grab a Cutie!

I need a fill sooooooo bad. Just ate dinner two hours ago and I am hungry again. Ugh!   But, I have discovered one food that seems to do the trick as a snack that actually makes me feel satisfied on very few calories... Cuties! You know those little clementine oranges. I think it must be all the skins/membrane because as much as I chew chew chew, it still feels kind of clumpy when I swallow. But, it doesn't get stuck... at least not for now. My next fill is on Monday and it cannot come soon enough! :blushing:
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Wine, Cake, and Moderation

I have to admit that one of my biggest hurdles w/the band is trying to figure out how/when/if I can still enjoy wine. I've been all over the place w/it from completely cutting it out to having a couple glasses a night like I used to. I am totally committed to create a lifestyle w/the band that is healthy, enjoyable, and sustainable. The problem is I truly love wine and the band just can't help me w/that... empty liquid calories sliding right through.   So, I've tried different ways of keeping it in my lifestyle, but putting some rules around it so that it is not a daily thing. I just haven't come up w/a rule that I could really embrace. If I set a number of drinks per week, then that feels like a diet. And, its really more about putting it in its proper place in my new lifestyle rather than limiting to a certain number.   This all got me thinking... what is something else in my life that I love, but have learned to moderate well? And, the answer is... Cake! I LOVE Cake!!! If I could eat cake every day, I would. And, there was a point in my life when I actually did. I would buy those single serving slices at the grocery store and have a little bit after lunch and a little bit after dinner. Yeah, I really knew how to live it up when I was 'off' a diet. :mad:   But, I learned long ago (way before the band) that this just wasn't gonna work (diet or no diet). So, I managed to tame my cake habit. Now, I never buy cake just to eat for no reason. But, I thoroughly enjoy eating a piece of cake at EVERY birthday party I go to, every wedding, every baby shower, and I may even order a slice to share after a nice dinner out. Its just not a daily thing or even a weekly thing anymore. Somehow I have learned to put it back in its proper place as a special occasion treat. And, this is exactly what I need to do w/wine. Epiphany! :w00t:   My new mantra, repeat after me... wine is cake wine is cake wine is cake   Would I eat cake right now? No? Then, no wine. Wine is for special occasions! :frown:
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Need a fill so bad!!!

I really sympathize w/all of you who have to wait a month between fills now. My doctor allows fills every 2 weeks if you feel like you need one. But, I made the mistake of waiting before making my next appointment and this time they had no appointments available when I felt like I needed one. So, the soonest I could get in is four weeks after my last fill. And, I just feel like I have almost no restriction at all right now. AND, I still have to wait ONE MORE WEEK! ACK!!! :waytogo:   Even worse, I am not losing any weight. I am being very good about my exercise so really hoping that this means I've at least gained some muscle and lost some body fat (even if the scale isn't moving down). Of course, I won't know that until I get on the doctor's scale (that breaks it all out) so for now I am just bummed that the scale is not going down. :eek:   I don't want this post to be totally negative, though, so let me share at least one positive thing that has happened for me this past week and that is that I now fit into some even smaller jeans. The smaller jeans I was excited to fit into a month ago are now loose and some that I could not even pull up on me before, I can wear comfortably. Woohoo!!! :mad:
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Restriction Roller-Coaster

I have just been so hungry this past week and not losing any weight. :bored: I was so sure I needed to make an appointment for another fill ASAP. But, then this morning I just got the most stuck I have ever gotten. First of all, let me back up and tell you about the most horrible recipe for any lapbander...   I've been looking for new ways to cook chicken. I'm trying to 'lean in' to the whole organic/kind eating (a la recent Oprah show). So, when I was at Costco the last time, I bought two whole organic chickens instead of the conventional parts I normally buy. I figured if I learn some new recipes for cooking the chickens whole then I will save money (whole chickens cost less than parts) and everyone in my family can be happy (DH prefers light meat and the kids and I prefer dark). First recipe tried was roasted chicken from the Barefoot Contessa's cookbook. Delicious! And, no stuck episodes. :tt2:   Second recipe was from a low-carb crockpot recipe book I took out from the library. You cook the whole bird upside down in the crockpot. Tastes OK, but this method literally boils out all the fat and juices from the meat. Last night I got a little stuck w/it. But, this morning I got stuck the worst I have ever gotten. Still, I could not PB it even though I REALLY REALLY wanted to. I finally tried the Papaya Enzyme tablets I got for just such an 'emergency'. I don't know if they helped or not, but the evil crockpot chicken did eventually pass. Suffice to say, I warn you all, do NOT crockpot a whole chicken like this. It is not 'kind' to the band! :tt1:   Please don't let this scare you away from soupy/stew type crockpot recipes, though. I have a great chicken chili recipe (uses boneless thighs) which is wonderful for the band. But, if you want to do a whole chicken, roast it in the oven like the Barefoot Contessa.   OK, so back to my 'Restriction Roller-Coaster'. I just don't know where to go from here. I was so hungry this past week that I figure I MUST need a fill, but maybe I will put it off a week just to make sure I really understand what my current restriction is first. Its hard trying to figure out what is the right level of fill when you feel like your restriction is all over the place... totally unrestricted one day and getting mega stuck the next day. I realize some of this is just the learning curve of what foods work w/the band and which ones don't. And, its really a combination of the food AND your fill level (as well as other factors like water retention). :tt2:   This band is a complicated thing really. I can understand why a lot of people get freaked out that it won't work for them or give up on it. Not saying that I'm feeling that way. I understood it would be a process to get to the right level of restriction, but I guess you can't understand just how complex it is until you actually have the band and are working with it yourself.   Just want to make it clear that I am still really really happy w/my band. I hope it doesn't sound like I'm not. Even w/the ups and downs, its still a great ride and I'm very happy w/my weightloss. :glare:
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Delayed Restriction and Low Blood Pressure

First of all, I have now come to the conclusion that I am one of those people who doesn't feel a fill (lol, that sounds funny) right away. Meaning, I do not seem to swell up or feel any restriction right away right after a fill. In fact, I feel more hungry (probably because of my doctor's rule to not eat for 72 hours after). Anyway, so I got my 3rd fill last Monday and was thinking I felt less restricted after the fill than before it. And, honestly, that was kind of annoying. :glare:   Flash forward to this weekend and suddenly I am feeling a lot more restriction. I got stuck two times this weekend (on solid protein) and slimed for the first time. I kept everything down, but it hurt so bad I wished it would just come back up. :thumbup: I'm just not a puker (or PBer), though. Oh well, I gotta learn to chew and take it slow. But, that's a good thing! Even though I have a bit of a learning curve w/this, I am grateful for the restriction. I am definitely satisfied on less food now and it is lasting me longer. :thumbup:   In other happy news, my blood pressure has dropped significantly. I felt a bit dizzy doing some housework on Saturday so I took my BP and found it was 86/65! So, I have been monitoring my BP closely since then, skipped my BP meds Sunday and today, and so far my blood pressure is staying in a normal healthy range without the meds. Not sure if it will stay this way. Its hard to believe I could just drop the meds alltogether like that, but we will see. I'm gonna track it for a bit longer and then call my doctor.
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Bottomless Pit

I don't know what my problem is, but I am so hungry and can eat so much since my last fill. I thought I had pretty good restriction at 4.5cc. Got my 3rd fill on Monday which brought me to 5.25cc and I am so hungry. Ugh! :tt2:   All I can think is maybe I am being too 'careful' and eating too many soft-ish foods. So, tonight I am gonna have my DH grill some salmon and asparagus. Wish me luck that it doesn't slide down so easy. :smile2:   Oh, the other thing is that my muscles have been sore and I've been tired a lot lately. I started exercising every day over a week ago so maybe my body just really needs the food to repair my muscle? I can only hope! :thumbup:
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4
 

I've been instructed to eat a little dessert... huh???

This is kind of a long one so bear w/me...   I went to my surgeon's lapband support group last night. I've been doing great lately w/my band, but I still try to make it to as many support meetings as I can. I figure its free therapy (led by one of the psychologists from my surgeon's office) and I do learn something new at every meeting (either from the psych or from one of the more experienced bandsters). We have a lot that go to the meeting that are at goal.   OK, so earlier in the day I had an odd discussion w/my 4 yr old daughter. On the way to preschool, she told me in the car that she wished I never had surgery. Yes, I've told everyone about the surgery, even my 4 yr old daughter and 6 yr old son. They know it is to help mommy get healthy and they seemed happy w/that explanation before surgery. So, it totally throws me off that now my daughter is saying she wishes I didn't have surgery. :huh2:   I told her I'm all healed now, feeling great, and that its really working so I'm happy I had surgery... and ask her why she wishes I didn't. And, she said its because I can't eat dessert anymore and she wants me to eat dessert w/them. I explained to her that I CAN eat dessert, but I'm just choosing not to because it is healthier for me to not eat it. But, for a 4 yr old, the idea of delayed gratification or doing something for one's health is just not a concept that can be easily understood.   Long story short (woops, too late!), the advice I got from the psych is that he thinks I should eat a little dessert (not just for the kids, but for me too). He said that I'm slipping back into a 'diet mentality' of deprivation and extremes. Well, he didn't put it that bluntly, but I got the point. And, man, is he ever right on!!! :rolleyes2:   I knew going into this that my biggest challenge would be embracing moderation and no longer living in the extremes. I just didn't realize that I had slipped back into an extreme. And, he also doesn't approve of my rule of no alcohol and exercise every day until I've lost my 10 pounds for the month. He considers that diet mentality as well and too strict. But, I have a feeling that the dietician and exercise physiologist would feel different about that! LOL :thumbup:   Anyway, so I've decided I will eat a little bit of dessert when my family has dessert, but still not sure if I will give up my 10 pound per month goal. I figure I'll stick to it until this month's 10 pounds are gone and then see how I feel. I only have 6 pounds more to make my 10 pounds this month (my month goes 2/17-3/17) and I've been losing fast since I gave up the alcohol and started exercising every day. Ultimately, I have to do what works for me and even though he may be a great psych, it is still just advice and my choice what to do with it. But, definitely food for thought. :cool:
adagray

adagray

5
 

3rd Fill Today and Another Pound Down

First of all, I got on the scale this morning and am down another pound. I am now consistently losing one pound every two days ever since I stepped up my exercise and cut out the empty calories. This is awesome for me! Woohoo!!! :rolleyes2:   Then, it was off to my surgeon's office for my 3rd fill this morning. The nurse was very impressed w/my results since my second fill. Their scale showed a 7 pound loss since my last fill which was less than 3 weeks ago. I almost thought for a few minutes that I wasn't gonna get a fill. She had to go outside and check w/someone else to see if it was OK. She told me she is used to filling Realize bands more often and the criteria for getting a fill is different between Realize and Lapband (which is what I have).   I was glad to find out that I could get a fill today... no wasted trip. She put in .5 at first, I sat up and took a sip of water, then she put in .5 more and I took another sip of water, I could feel it a little in my chest so she then took out .25. So, my fill today ended up being .75 which gives me a total of 5.25cc in a 10cc lapband.   I am supposed to be on clear liquid only for 72 hours (that is the drill w/my doctor) so I have no idea at this point if this fill has really created any more restriction for me. It feels like the water is going down a little bit slower, but not sure if that is just my imagination.   I will for sure stay on clear liquids for the rest of the day, but if I get really hungry tomorrow, I will try yogurt. That is what I did last time and it worked fine for me. Generally, I don't think I have a large inflamatory response to these fills. I have not gotten sick or PB'd at all yet through this whole process (knock on wood) even though I have consistently gotten more and more good restriction after each fill.   All that said, I am very very happy w/how my fill went today. Before this fill, I felt like I was close to my sweet spot. I would be scared if I had gotten more than 1cc today... .75 seems like it might just be perfect. Of course, this is all in theory until I eat again, but so far so good. :thumbup:
adagray

adagray

4
 

Jazzercise Saturday, Sunday, and a Surprise!

I recently decided that I needed to step up my exercise program so I made it a goal to exercise EVERY day (either Jazzercise for one hour or walking on my treadmill for half an hour). My favorite exercise is Jazzercise (and it is a lot more intense than walking), but I can only get to that on Tuesdays and Thursdays during the week due to my schedule.   So, I planned to walk the rest of the week on my treadmill and maybe TRY to get to Jazzercise on Saturday morning too. I never have gotten into the routine of doing it on the weekends before because it just always seemed too hard to wake up early on the weekends. But, I'm proud to say I did it this weekend! And, not only did I do Jazzercise at 8am on Saturday, but I went today (Sunday) too at 4:45pm. Woohoo!!! :thumbup:   And, as if all of that isn't awesome enough, after class was over today, the instructor walked up to me and told me how great I move and that I could be an instructor. What?!?! Did she not notice that I am the fatest one in the room??? I was blown away. I am really good friends w/two of the other instructors (actually one is the owner), but this instructor did not know me at all nor did she know I was friends w/them. I'm used to friends saying nice things and just thinking they are saying that to be nice, but this was totally out of the blue from someone who doesn't know me. Wow!   Not that I want to be a Jazzercise instructor, but having spent my whole life feeling physically inept and awkward because of my size, its fantastic to get a compliment like this. :rolleyes2:
adagray

adagray

1
 

I'm back to my love affair...

w/the band! Since cutting out alcohol and other empty calories AND exercising every day, I have now lost two pounds in the last four days. Yes, this band really does work when you work with it! :smile:   I almost don't feel like I really NEED my 3rd fill that I have scheduled for Monday (I scheduled it when my weightloss had stalled), but I know I could still use at least a small fill. I'm not at my sweet spot, but I can tell that I am not that far away from it either. :thumbup:   For example, I can eat a fairly large portion right now, but I can also be satisfied on a smaller portion. And, I do think about food between meals, but I can usually get by w/just water until my next meal. Last night I was so sure my dinner was not gonna last me until bedtime. I ate at 5:30pm and was feeling the munchies around 8:00pm. I was gonna have an artichoke (healthy at least), but got distracted and tired watching TV and just ended up going to bed. Woohoo!!! :thumbup:   So, even though my restriction is not perfect w/the band yet, its definitely better than during my TOM when I was really hungry and felt like a bottomless pit. :smile:   Now, instead of worrying about not getting enough fill at my next appointment, I'm a little worried about getting overfilled. But, I'm just a worry wart in general.   My ideal would be if I can get to the point where I can still eat almost everything (if I chew it enough), be satisfied w/a small meal, and not think about food between meals. I have not PB'd or thrown up at all yet and hope that when/if I do, it will not become a regular thing. I did get stuck on a roll once (in my first month post-op) and was in pain for 5 minutes, but I don't know how to make myself puke (or I have an aversion to it) so I just waited it out. Now I have an aversion to rolls! But, that's a good thing. :thumbup:
adagray

adagray

6
 

Bad Habits, Goals, and Commitment

The past 10 days have been kinda rough for me. I stopped losing and had a bunch of water weight come on w/TOM. The truth is I wasn't sure if it was JUST water weight because I haven't been perfect. Still having issues of slacking off on exercise and letting empty calories creep back in. And, yes, I do not have great restriction right now. I already have my 3rd fill scheduled for Monday. But, if I want to keep losing (regardless of where I am w/fills), I need to dig deep and do what I can to facilitate the weightloss.   With the very limited experience I have w/the band so far, I would say that the band is giving me 1 pound of weightloss per week if I just minimally work it. But, if I want 2+ pounds per week, I need to minimize those pesky empty calories and maximize my exercise.   So, then comes the challenge of what goals to make for myself for changing my behavior. My favorite empty calories come in the form of wine and martinis! :smile: I've been good about cutting way back, but its so easy to let one night/week turn into two nights if a friend calls and invites me out. And, when I've made goals for exercise like three times per week, its easy to not exercise on Monday cause you have the rest of the week to get those three times in. And, then its Thursday and you haven't exercised yet, but you never really decided when the week STARTS so do you just start over or exercise three days straight?   Well, I finally had an epiphany of sorts. I really really want to lose 10 pounds per month. This is the pace that gets me excited because I can picture what weight I will be in March, April, etc... onto July for my birthday, and August when we go to Hawaii. I just think it would be a perfect amount to lose per month and a challenge, but not unattainable if I put the work in.   So, I've made a new goal for myself and that is that I simply do not drink any alcohol until I've lost my 10 pounds for the month and I exercise EVERY day so there is no debate over whether this is an exercise day or not. I need to stop the mind games! So total abstinence and total adherence until I meet my goal for the month is the best I think.   And, once I reach goal, I can use the same technique, but make it that I do not drink or skip a day of exercise unless I am at or below my goal weight on that day. Do you think this will finally keep me in line??? :smile:   Well, so far I haven't had any drinks since my friend's birthday party last Friday and I've exercised every day since Monday. And, yesterday I got so busy during the day that I realized at 9:30pm that I had not exercised yet. And, guess what I did??? Yes, I actually hopped on the treadmill and walked for 30 minutes while watching TV instead of just laying on the couch. Oh yeah, I am proud of myself! I am gonna stick to this!!! :thumbup:
adagray

adagray

5
 

Scheduled 3rd Fill

I was so excited that I might be close to my sweet spot after my second fill (about a week and a half ago). But, over the past few days, whatever restriction I was feeling is gone again. So, I went ahead and made an appointment for my 3rd fill. Couldn't find a time that worked next week so will have to wait until the following Monday, March 1st.   Oh well, I'm just happy I'm allowed a fill every two weeks until I get to the right restriction. For those few days when I did have good restriction, it was GREAT! I'm so looking forward to getting to the point where I feel that way all the time... small meals, three meals per day, and no hunger in between.   As for the scale lately, it is just not budging. But, it is my TOM so I'm hoping this is just because of water retention and that I will get to see the scale move again in a few days.
adagray

adagray

5
 

Pants on the ground, pants on the ground...

I'm lookin like a fool with my pants on the ground! Hey, I was so excited about new found restriction after my second fill that I forgot to post about my first big NSV.   Well, I knew my jeans were getting loose, but on Sunday I realized they were getting WAY too loose as I kept having to hike them up in public (which I'm sure looks ridiculous). I gave 'em a test to see if I could pull them on and off without unbuttoning them and sure enough I could so I figured it was time to start wearing the next size smaller jeans in my closet. And, let me tell you I feel so 'skinny' in these jeans. I have been wearing them every day since Sunday and plan on wearing them again today. :thumbup:   The funny thing is that at some point, I had considered these now smaller jeans my 'fat jeans'. I remember I had gained weight and vowed not to gain anymore (yeah right!) so I only allowed myself to buy Target jeans. I mean why would I want to spend money on jeans I would only be wearing briefly? Ugh! So, now I get to wear them again. And, I have three pairs of these Target jeans (two medium wash, one dark dark wash) so how can I justify needing a different pair in this size??? I guess I better just speed through this size because I know I have at least one cute pair in the next size down. LOL Not that these are ugly, but they just aren't cute (going out) jeans.   Sometimes I think I am the weirdest fat woman because it never bothered me to buy new fat clothes. So many people say they HAVE to throw out their fat clothes so they CAN'T gain weight again. But, for me, I love buying clothes so every time I have lost OR gained, I've bought more and more and more clothes. I am really trying hard not to purchase too many new things this time as I lose through the sizes again, though. I've got so many clothes (only 1-2 years old) in every size.   I did splurge and buy two new tops from Lane Bryant online, though. They had some really pretty (dressy) tops from the Icon collection (normally $98) on clearance for $12. I ordered them on the small side so hopefully one of them will fit for my friend's wedding on 4/2. Normally I would not wear pants to a wedding, but I feel like such a cow in a dress right now. And, this is a second wedding and my friend is young and very casual. So, I'm thinking black dress pants (which I just happen to have in a smaller size right now) and one of these dressy tops might make for a pretty outfit without dropping a lot of $$$.   OK, I am getting off on a tanget now, but gotta mention one other great NSV I had on Monday. My inlaws were on their way over so I was doing my normal run-around-and-try-to-straighten-the-house-as-quickly-as-possible routine. I've got a 4 and a 6 year old so this usually involves a lot of huffing and puffing and straining to pick all their stuff up off the floor. But, you know what I noticed???? Picking stuff up off the floor is getting a lot easier. I don't feel like my head is gonna pop off anymore when I'm doing this. And, I swept all my floors in just 15 minutes and usually that takes me a lot longer. Woohoo!!! This is the everyday stuff that really matters when it comes to feeling good.
adagray

adagray

7
 

Don't want to jinx myself, but I think I might be...

either at my sweet spot or very close to it. And, I never expected it would happen this fast. I've had two fills and am at 4.5cc in a 10cc lapband APS. I just can't get over how great the band has been working for me since my second fill (last Wednesday). There isn't anything I CAN'T eat, but I'm getting full w/small meals and not hungry between meals (which is my doctor's definition of a proper fill level). So, if this restriction stays and I keep losing 1-2 pounds per week, then that may be it. Really, I have a goal to lose 2.5 per week, but I'm willing to exercise my booty off (literally :thumbup:) to get there.   Or, if I do need another fill, I think it will be small at this point (maybe .5). I really hope this level of restriction will work for me, though, because I don't really want to develop a long list of foods I can't eat (like some who have their band tighter). Right now, I have a healthy fear of bread (just doesn't go down great, but I CAN eat it if I eat it slow). I'm noticing some healthy proteins are getting harder to get down, though (like salmon, chicken breast, meat in chili). Really, I just have to remember to chew them thoroughly, though. And, I haven't PB'd anything at this point. I just have discomfort if I don't take my time and chew well.   I THINK this means I am at my sweet spot or very close to it. I am going to a support group meeting tomorrow night so I am curious to hear what others have to say about it there.   Once again, though, I was able to eat dinner last night and then NOT eat anything AFTERWARDS without being hungry when I went to bed. Woohoo!!!
adagray

adagray

5
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