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About this blog

THE SWEET SPOT My journal on my expedition to Bandlandia and my adventures there. I plan to stay forever (been to Onederland many times, but I never stayed long). Join me!:see

Entries in this blog

 

2/22/09 Scale Whore

Apparently, after reading up on this a bit, I'm officially a 'Scale Whore'. I get on the scale every morning...always have...skinny, fat, dieting, not...It doesn't matter, it's part of my morning ritual. I'm not obsessed with it, and I get that your weight fluctuates, but I find it to be motivational, both losing and gaining.     I don't get all the posts about only weighing yourself once a week. There are even whole 'movements' to throw out your scale completely (not on any WLS site I'm sure)...but that's like saying 'I give up'...or at least it's like throwing away all your mirrors (Oh, the horror!!!)!! It's like finances...if you aren't watching, if you're not paying attention, things can get away from you quickly.   There are even whole groups online who pledge to each other to only weigh once a week like it’s an addiction and you need a 12 step program…Hello, I’m BG, and I’m a Scale Whore. I'm really not making fun; whatever works for you is what you should do...absolutely. I'm just saying I don't get it. Is it really a big deal…it must be for some, but I don’t get how? Why do I need to wait a week to tell me if my week of binging made me gain two pounds or 10 (yea, I get it doesn't always show up right away)? Why do I need to wait a week to tell me if my extreme workouts are helping me to lose or gain (because I'm putting on muscle)?       To me it's like that smile you give yourself in the mirror every morning after brushing. You’re just checking your teeth after you brush them. Does this one day of brushing really change your overall dental health, nope. Does it change anything big to look at that smile every day, nope. But it reassures you to see that smile every day...and if your gums are bleeding today, maybe you'll brush longer tomorrow.
Band_Groupie

Band_Groupie

22
 

2/5/09 Lose a Pound, Gain a Wrinkle!

OK, I’m not a particularly vain person. My primary objective in getting the Lap Band is truly for getting healthy. No, I don’t like what I look like fat, but if I had the health and energy that I did when I was thin and I knew it would stay that way, I’m not positive I’d be doing this. I might catch some flack for this, but after looking at million before and after pictures, I’ve gotten a little scared. I’m not talking here on LBT, as I really haven’t looked at all that many pics here yet, but on OH, where they are easy to scan through and are on every page…most people look great, fabulous even…some you wouldn’t even know them if they were standing next to their former selves, and so many of them have new hairstyles and sexy clothes, you can tell how this has changed them inside as well. But then there is a group of people, all older, yeah, they’re thin, but they look SO MUCH OLDER! OK, I’ve reasoned this out…maybe it took them years to lose the weight and they ARE older now. Or maybe they’re all RnY patients that lost so fast that their hair thinned and losing so fast was hard on their bodies (no offense RnY’rs, this was just my silly mind talking)…see I’d been reasoning out why I won’t look like that because I’ll be losing slowly with the Lap Band. OK, maybe I’m vainer than I thought, otherwise why would I be ‘reasoning out’ any of this. But then I saw this story on the ‘Today Show’ yesterday. A study on identical twins and factors for aging…and guess what the conclusion was for weight?! If you’re over 40 don’t lose too much weight or you’ll look older, or as they put it ‘Gain a pound, Lose a Wrinkle’ (so the opposite is true as well). No, they don’t want people to gain weight to look younger, it’s just a conclusion of the study that for people over 40, the extra fat fills out our wrinkles. Remember, I'm turning 49 7/8 this year, and I’ve always been told I look younger than my age (OK, maybe that’s something people tell you when you’re fat…like you have a nice smile), but I really don’t have any wrinkles other than a few crows feet when I smile. So time to get real about how I’m going to look thin again...yes, I already knew I won’t be going back to that 130# blushing bride…get real…that was 26 years ago…so what is my face going to look like deflated…Like an old deflated balloon? Now ontop of all those other LB diet things (like head hunger/emotions) I have to get real about I've now got to get myself prepared for sudden wrinkles! Fabulous.:toetap05:   Here’s the segment if you’re interested: Today Show Video Player
Band_Groupie

Band_Groupie

17
 

10/22/09 Six Month Bandiversary!

Sorry, I can't share my 'cake'         Today is my six month Bandiversary! I can't believe it's been six months already! The six month diet pre-op seemed to take foreverrrrr (sorry newbies)...this past six months...OK, Bandster Hell was a little slow, but time just sped up after that. I wonder when I'll ever stop feeling like a newbie? I still learn something new here every week...the band journey is consistent in its inconsistency so there's always something new to learn.     OK, you can have just a bite of this one (it's SF).         Let's see, what's happened in six months with the band? I've:   - Become an April 'Bunny' (and Hef still makes us weigh in weekly)   - Had 4 fills and now have 5.9cc/10cc LB   - Had to return to the hospital the week of banding; overnight on my 50th birthday (no problems)   - Gone from a size 22 jean to a size 16   - Made it through Bandster Hell while starving (but still losing weight)   - Had a few gain weeks   - Lost 46 lbs. since banding (65 total)   - Had a few plateaus   - Gone from a 34.8 BMI (37.7 originally) to 27.2 and moved from an Obese to Overweight BMI   - Paid my full insurance deductible   - Moved into Onederland   - Learned how to slime and PB like a pro   - Reached weighing less than DH   - Attended the Semi-Annual SWA (Scale Whores Anonymous) meeting   - Made lots of LB friends   - Reached my Sweet Spot   - Developed Acid Reflux   - Stopped 'Dieting'       What's happened in six months in my life? I've Celebrated:   - My 50th Birthday   - Our 27th Anniversary   - Our DD's College Graduation and her first (and second) 'real' job   - Our DS1's HS Graduation and his move to college   - My father's 80th Birthday               and I've:   - Seen my DD buy her first car and get her first speeding ticket   - Visited my Alma-mater- OSU game- and watched them lose in the last minute   - Watched DS1 get on another Honor Roll and in his second expensive fender bender   - Been on vacation twice (SC and AZ)         The LB is like life...there are ups and downs, highs and lows...it's a lifestyle...and I'm loving it!     P.S. FYI-I posted what I found out about hair regrowth as a comment to that blog. Click HERE    
Band_Groupie

Band_Groupie

14
 

11/10/08 I peed my pants!

Wow...didn't think THAT would be my title today! This morning I had in mind..."1st day of the Diet" or something else really benign (my insurance requires a 6 month PCP supervised diet/exercise history). OK on with the story. I spent the weekend wildly researching and typing up stuff in anticipation of my PCP appointment today. I put together a form for the Dr. to easily fill in each time. I also put together my family history...wow, was that an eye opener! I woke up nervous...let me back up...   I'd been to the PCP last month for my physical follow up. I had just lost 25 lbs. on another low fat diet/fat absorbing pills, so my weight was down some, but I was still Obese (I wanted to make the best case I could to my PCP). My PCP came in and we talked, she supported my looking into the LAP-BAND®® and gave me names of surgeons and I picked up the diet plan to review. Then I went to seminars at two hospitals that are 'Centers of Excellence' for bariatric surgery in town (with my skinny DH) and found out what this was all about...I wasn't certain that I'd be approved by insurance...it's like an evil game. The seminars stated I needed to show I was a diet 'failure', so I quit the diet pills until my official start. I know, this all seems counter-intuitive since I'd just lost some weight, but it's not like I haven't just been a lot heavier, I'm an expert now an yo-yoing...I hate insurance and I'm just starting this (don't they know yo-yoers that are obese have even more health risks?). By the end of the month I was only up a few pounds more (less fast than I normally gain).   So I'm back to where I began...I woke up nervous today...weighed myself...quite a few pounds over 35 BMI...but, what if their scale was way different than mine?!...No! I can't be too close to the 35 BMI when I start!!! OK, calm down, I know I've read some things online about this...ankle weights some suggest?...nope, my ethics won't let me go there, sorry...Next-eat a lot before you go...and drink a lot...OK, I can do that...bowls of cereal later I was ready to burst...Next-It's snowing for the first time...layers are good! OK, I need to time the water just right. I had incontinence surgery 3 yrs. ago (hysterectomy and the sling)...let's just say I was back to the Urologist last week and he told me "You're the first patient I've had where the procedure failed! You'll have to use the back door to leave here so my other patients can't see you, Ha Ha!" Lucky me!...I'm not laughing...because if I do...I'LL PEE! Now back to drinking water...water bottle in hand, I get in the car...the Drs. office is 1/2 hr. away...no problem.   I'm dancing by the time I get there (the pee dance)! 15 min. wait...I get to the room with the Nurse and she pulls the digital scale to the middle of the open door "I need you on the scale" she yells from outside the room. What?!! Was the scale too close to the cabinet that my fat hips couldn't get on where it was...no?!!! Could we maybe close the door...no?!!! I glance wildly side to side to see who heard and if there was any patient coming down the hall who might be scarred by this site. Right, Left, no one...I can do this. I take off my coat and then she says it..."My you have a lot of layers on!"...."Yeah, it's cold outside." I manage to squeak out. On the scale I go...uh oh...my evil plan worked...too well! AHHH!!! I'm 5 pounds above where I thought I was...my scale at home is too light...I've gained weight (as usual, but are they going to be mad and not support me getting the LAP-BAND®®?)!!! Oh no!!! She flips through my charts. I try to distract her "I feel like I'm back at weigh in's at the group diet meetings-this is so embarressing!" (what did I just say?) Her head doesn't come up from the file...she notices! Are they're going to throw me out in the cold?? She asks me to sit for my Blood Pressure check (it's been high about a year now and they keep talking about putting me on meds.). "Are you nervous?" she asks. "No!" I SCREAM! "Why? Is something wrong?" I blurt! She looks frightened now..."No, your blood pressure is just really high 158/110!" Wild eyes staring into hers I say "Oh, maybe I'm more nervous about the surgery than I think?" She hustles out and closes the door. Oh no! What's going to happen? What's the doc going to say about my weight gain!!!! She's so nice..."Oh, so this will be your first supervised diet/exercise program visit?" she smiles...my heart is starting to calm...No!...she's flipping through the charts!!!...then it happens...I PEE MY PANTS...and once I start it's so hard to stop...SQUEEZE...How many gallons did I need to drink anyway?...SQUEEZE!!! I'd almost forgotten how badly I had to go in all the excitement...she's now talking and looking through my alarming family history...I vaguely remember her talking about hypertension...she's looking through my charts again...NO!...she mentions how long I've had High Blood Pressure...I feel her taking my blood pressure again...then pulling up my pant leg and checking my legs for swelling...NO Ankle weights here!!! (thank God for my ethics)...all I can think about is DO NOT PEE!...next thing I know she's standing at the door beconing me with papers...My mind races...what if I get up and there's a puddle on the table?...darn that evil paper they put on the tables...what to do?...with a smile she waves the form I brought at me...I smile and slowly get up...I turn...I can't believe it...and I say a silent prayer in heaven for the woman (you know it was) who invented the Super-Dooper-Almost-a-Diaper-Pad I'm wearing (which is know hanging heavily low in the crotch of my oh-so-dry pants!). She is walking me back to the reception desk and then presses another paper into my hand...what's this?...a perscription "for your hypertension"....I smile and thank her...(I found out later that this is a comorbidity...I deserve this!!!) I check out..."Where's the ladies room?" I ask.
Band_Groupie

Band_Groupie

13
 

2/8/09 I Swear it's not a Hickey!

We went out to a nice restaurant with some neighbors this weekend. I’ve been looking forward to this as I’m starting to feel like a shut-in. Well, except for the million or so doctors appointments I’ve been to, between me and the rest of the family, the past few months. As a stay-at-home Mom, with no kids at home during the day anymore, you get a little starved for adult interaction in the wintertime. Top that off with the fact that I am still sorting papers and making new files (my LEAST favorite job…guess that’s why I still have huge piles to go through) and I REALLY was looking forward to going out.   As usual (and all you still-fat peeps…OK anyone who was ever fat will be able to relate), I poured myself into my best black jeans (I was proud I didn’t have to lay flat to zip them up this time) and was greeted by the lovely ‘muffin top’ which is now the opposite of what my waist once was. So into the closet I went after camouflage. After about 20 ‘costume changes’ I finally picked a two layer long, flowing ditty that didn’t make me cringe…it cover the muffin, but my arms felt like they were in sausage casing…sigh. It was getting late, so on to getting beautified. I quickly plugged in my giant curling iron and started my makeup. DD gave me one of those huge barreled curling irons and I swear it can get so hot that your hair is smoking. Uh-Oh, DH is calling me, better hurry! I fly through my hair with the curling iron turned all the way up so it will curl more quickly…then it happened…d@*n! I can’t ever use that thing without burning myself! It’s the same with the glue gun (and as an ex-art teacher I use that a lot too). OWW, OWWWWW! D@*N that hurts! I unplug the stupid iron and run downstairs.   We get to the restaurant a few minutes late and after hugs/kisses all around (did I imagine some strange stares *quickly check my tops for wardrobe malfunctions*), and ordering drinks I excuse myself to the ladies room. As I’m washing my hands I check the mirror…HOLY C#*P! There on my long pasty-white neck are two red hickeys!!...and I left home so fast I forgot my purse and makeup!!! D*@M that curling iron. OK, I’m not 16, surely no one else will think…but d*@n they sure look just like a hickey! I returned to the table with my cheeks bright red and slowly work it into the conversation that I burned my neck with the curling iron…Did I just hear sniggers??!
Band_Groupie

Band_Groupie

13
 

10/14/09 What Goes Around Comes Around

I just had to share a little laugh I had today. I got my hair trimmed yesterday (same style I've had the last 4 mo. or so) and I was showing the new gal how I wanted my hair with swoopy bangs and curled back...you know layered and flipped back like the 80's.   Today I was trying on some more old pants from the closet and found this old pair of 18's I can barely fit into (I'm in a 16 at the stores now...more generous sizes...love that). They are those old high waisted jeans...hit me way above the belly button right on the port (which I put high enough that pants wouldn't hit them LOL). They would be described these days as 'Mom Jeans' yikes! I'm so glad shirts are long right now so I can camouflage the old styles, but when DD gets home from her business trip I think we'll have to go through a few of these and decide what looks too outdated.   I was standing there in the bathroom mirror thinking I was styling like the 80's again! Well, I don't weigh 135 anymore and the hair isn't as 'BIG' (especially with half my hair falling out from the anesthesia…I think that finally stopped) but you know what I mean! ...and when will I start liking any photo of me...ugh.   Pic 1- Me 1980 and my BIG hair, sorry you can't see the high waist jeans Pic 2- Me today and my still huge hips/thighs, pulled my shirt up...see how high these are!
Band_Groupie

Band_Groupie

13
 

2/24/09 Hospital Packing List

I'm posting this also in the Pre-Op Forum, but I know a lot of you are post-op here and may not see it, and you're the experts I need input from...   I’m about 6 weeks away from my pre-op class so I’m trying to put together some lists so I’ll know what to buy now, or what I need to ask/gain approval about from my surgeon. Is there anything I’ve forgotten?   Here’s the list I’ve compiled from everyone’s suggestions for taking to the Hospital (this does not include my post-op at home list). I’m a Mary Poppins (I’d rather have it and not use it, then to be wanting it and not have it) so taking a lot doesn’t bother me a bit (and we’re only 30 min. from the hospital)…so add away! I should be there one night.   I should note that I’m allergic to most soaps, thus the reason to take my own nighty and sheets for the bed- just take 2 top sheets to sandwich as a buffer between their sheets (had a bad reaction last time).     HOSPITAL Toiletries/Medicines
Mouthwash
Toothbrush
Toothpaste
Soap
Shampoo
Conditioner
Brush/Comb
Hair holders (ponytail, clips, headbands)
Facial Moisturizer
Pads
Baby/Butt Wipes (flushable)
Chapstick (several)
Kleenex
Regular Prescriptions and Asthma Inhaler/spacer (ask Surgeon)
Cough remedies (ask Surgeon)
Migraine remedies (ask Surgeon)
Chewable vitamins (ask Surgeon)
Gas X (ask Surgeon)
Heating Pad/ext. cord for back/gas pains (probably not allowed, ask), or possibly the chemical heating pads (adhesive, ask)?
[*]Clothing Robe
Slippers (slip on kind)
Nightgown that buttons off-don’t have to lift arms (allergies to hospital ones)
Extra undies (not the silky kind-slide on sheets)
Extra Socks
Change of LOOSE clothing for ride home, w/slip on shoes (underwear, bra, drawstring pants, button front top, socks, shoes, jacket).
[*]Sleeping Pillow (my own)
Eye Mask
Ear plugs
Sound machine if own room (ask?)
Small Throw/Blanket (get cold in hospital)
Sheets (allergies to hosp. ones)
[*]Personal Items Insurance Card/other info. needed
Small firm pillow to hold against stomach for ride home, and for sneezes/gas pains/coughing in hospital
SF Mints, Tic Tacs (ask surgeon if you can suck on these)
Packets of Crystal Lite & SF Koolaid (why? Need this? Ask surgeon)
Camera (for photos)
Water bottle, no straw-sippy kind (need this? ask), others suggest small shot glass to measure fluid intake
Notepad/pen; to write down info., notes from nurses/doctor, etc.
[*]For Boredom Ipod & Earbuds
Cell phone & charger
Books or magazines
Reading Glasses & case
[*]DH Items *Have him keep a bag with my valuables, ie. Cell phone, iPod, camera, insurance card/info. etc., while in surgery
Laptop/cords
Book/magazines
Snacks/Drinks
Cell Phone/Charger
Phone numbers list
Band_Groupie

Band_Groupie

12
 

12/8/09 Deck the Halls...

We got our live tree for the foyer (I think it's 12' this year), as usual, the weekend after Thanksgiving. The boys got all my outside decorations up that weekend as well (Attached Pic 1- Front porch/door). I made the lighted garland, decorations and the Williamsburg arch over the door. Everything is now on the tree (Attached Pic 2- This year's tree), and all the decorations are finally up around the house, except my kids displays which they will do (Christmas dollhouse, train set, and monorail). Lest I repeat myself, If you want, you can read more about my Christmas obsession at last years blogs here on LBT: 12/4/08 Fa la-la-la-la... - LAP-BAND®®®®® The tree/ornaments: 12/29/08 It looks like someone threw up ornaments on our tree! - LAP-BAND®®®®®   Oh, and if you're wondering why my mantle has a nativity with a pink light in it that makes it look more like a brothel than a crèche (Attached Pic 3), then you must read my last year's blog with my very favorite family Christmas read: 12/17/08 I Believe in Santa! - LAP-BAND®®®®® In this pic you can also see 2 of the 3 cradles my kids made on the hearth...read: 12/6/08 Traditions...What's in Your Shoes? - LAP-BAND®®®®®   I love setting the Dining Room table for Christmas (Attached Pic 4 & 5- Dining Room). I made the decorations and fruit cone on the table. My MIL gave me a few pieces of Lenox Holiday Christmas china that someone had given her and that got me started on setting up service for the holidays. I didn't select a china when we got married as our everyday setting was expensive, so it's fun for me to set out this china once a year.   So get going folks and Deck the Halls!!
Band_Groupie

Band_Groupie

12
 

3/12/09 The Buzz about Coffee

I love my morning cuppa (and it loves me…see?)…so much so that I drink it up until 2pm (my cutoff for being able to function, yet also sleep at night). This week I started to cut back my caffeine consumption in preparation for surgery. I don’t drink any pop (or in other parts of the country, soda), so that’s not an issue. Coffee is the first of my ‘food friends’ (translation ‘evil food addictions’) I will be saying goodbye to, probably not permanently (I’ll confirm that at my pre-op class), but at least for now and a while to come.   I’ve seen ‘facts’ about caffeine effecting the LB here on LBT including; causing band slippage, causing ulcers, changing the lining of your stomach, appetite stimulant, appetite suppressant (it’s in many diet pills), and diuretic. I don't know what's true, the only one I believe right now is the diuretic (and some here on LBT say that’s not true), so I'll follow my docs orders. Post-band until I can get all my water in daily (and some say you have to drink extra water if you drink coffee), I’ll be forgoing coffee. I’ve had to give this friend up several times before; once as a test to see if my migraines improved (nope), and once before another double surgery as I was afraid going off ‘cold turkey’ at the hospital would give me migraines. So I’m being smart and stepping this down gradually (and I’m on Migraine meds now). Week 1 and I’m surviving on less. Are you aware of this, or perhaps you haven’t had your coffee yet? March is…drumroll please…National Caffeine Awareness Month (sponsored by the Caffeine Awareness Alliance…yes, there is such a thing…who knew?!). They want you to know that…with as little as 200 mg of caffeine, you can experience typical addictive symptoms such as irritability, restlessness, tension, insomnia, excitement, and gastrointestinal disturbance. So pretty much they want you to JUST SAY NO!   Now where’s the closest Coffee Rehab Center, because I’m going to be in withdrawl and pretty irritable by next week?! Hello, my name is BG, and I'm a coffee addict.
Band_Groupie

Band_Groupie

11
 

3/13/09 Spring Fever

I'm the grumpy one in front.   I’m feeling blah today. I’m not sure what it is…the ‘Spring Ahead’ clock change this week, the lack of enough coffee (I’m sipping my last cup right now to make it last…it’s cold now), or maybe that it’s Friday the 13th. I do know I’m sick of Winter. Mother Nature was teasing me last weekend with that 70° high (mean woman!). It’s 23° right now and we might hit 50° this weekend…weeee. I feel like a hibernating bear right now. I’m a person who is affected by the weather…I think I was meant to live in the South, although I do enjoy watching the season’s change. I enjoy sunlight. I put 32 windows and four glass doors in our house, and no it’s not that big…I just love natural light. Spring is my favorite season, but the past few years here in Pittsburgh we really haven’t had one. Last year ‘Spring’ was cold and raining everyday, then it went straight to a blazing hot Summer (so no Spring) and unfortunately my Asthma doesn’t enjoy extreme heat of summer. OK, winter is on it’s way out…whinefest over. I think all of us getting bands this time of year are extremely lucky. I’ve said before that I felt sorry for those getting their bands right before the holidays; especially those in my climate. They must be extremely dedicated…make it through the holidays with no restriction yet and then sit there in the snow all winter. There will be no excuses for me not to be getting enough exercise…I’ll be banded right as Spring begins and will have the nice weather and all the outside activities it brings to look forward to. One more week until the Equinox/first day of Spring (March 20) and I'm hoping it actually arrives and is on time this year. I can’t wait!  
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11
 

2/26/10 Goal!!!!!

Yes, I FINALLY reached goal!!!! It's all gravy now!   Blogs this week Here: http://bandgroupiethesweetspot.blogspot.com/   -Lookie Here -Linner- Sides and Snacks -My DH has an addiction -We interrupt your regularly scheduled programming -Really? Nobody?
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Band_Groupie

11
 

4/2/09 The Nitty Gritty

Well, as you know, yesterday was one awesome day! I want to capture the details of what happened here (and there are some ‘points for learning’ for you newbies…if I didn’t scare you off yesterday). Let me unravel my story...(K)nitty gritty...unravel....moving right along.... First, my ‘many messages’ I left at the surgeon’s got through finally and I received a call Tuesday from Marlene (saying Patti was in clinicals all day). We went through my papers again and I asked again if the Pulmonary paper (from my visit in FEB.!) showed up and it had (take matters into your own hands…I’m glad I called them directly). Suddenly, the Sleep Lab results weren’t in my file (I faxed these myself in March and I had already confirmed they were in my file). So it pays to go through the whole file more than once, as this was the third time. We hung up and I got a call back from her saying Patti had just dropped in and she was to tell me if I got all my papers in tomorrow, then she’d call me with a date (so she got that phone message too…I’m probably on the ‘favorite patients’ list by this point).   So on to yesterday. I was at the PCP office a little after 8am and was taken in. I had a new smiling nurse! She weighed me and I’d lost 3# since the last visit for a total loss of 9 pounds over the 6 months, which was perfect (aiming for 5-10#).   Then something amazing happened! The nurse turned to me and said “Are you getting excited for your surgery…do you have a date yet?” I told her I’d get my date today and she said “You know I had the same thing done?” Holy Cow…not a big deal for most of you I’m sure, but it dawned on me that she was the very first person I’d met in person who has the LB! I was SO excited! She told me her experiences and must have said 10 times “It’s the best thing I’ve ever done!” Without asking, she lifted her shirt and showed me her tiny scars (the only one that you’d even notice is the port one). She was babbling on and I was lapping it up when another nurse knocked for some help from her and she left me with well wishes, an offer to call her if I had any questions or needed help, and a big hug! Those few minutes made my day! …and what a difference from my Nazi Nurse friend LOL. My usual CRNP I’ve been seeing for the weigh in’s was next and she was over-the-moon excited for me! She had one piece of bad news…the Letter of Medical Clearance and Necessity wasn’t ready. Yes, the letter that I’d given a sample of with my information already filled in to the other CRNP at my 5th visit…then called 2 weeks later to make sure this CRNP knew about it and would have it ready for me at this visit (and she said it was already in my file). Well, the letter had been done, but they used their own form letter for this and my name was at the top, but they’d left another ladies name in the body. She was so apologetic as she told me there weren’t any doctors in until 9am to sign it. No biggie, I’ll wait the 40min. (NO WAY was I not getting my date today!). Well, 9 came and went (I tried not to pace in my head) and about 9:30 she brought it out whispering apologies and that the doc was late…I didn’t care, I was so happy! Newbies…I should have had her fax me a copy when she told me it was in the file. Oh, and anyone who gets migraines, I got a non NSAID prescription just in case.   I flew home and sent my fax to the surgeon with the three last attachments (monthly form, the PCP letter, and the sleep study-again). I called Marlene as she told me to just to make sure it came through, and she told me that Patti just came in to get my file so she must have it. A torturous hour later I finally got the call from the elusive Patti….my heart was beating SO FAST…and then it happened….. We were a few words into the call and….SCREEEEEECH! HUMMMMMM! I’m thinking ‘What’s that sound?!!....a fax machine?!...Why won’t it stop?!’ She tries to talk SCREEEEECH! HUMMMMMMM! Oh, Dear Lord! I LEFT THE FAX MACHINE PLUGGED IN!!!! As I’m running upstairs and down the long hall I’m trying to yell ‘HOLDON!’ between all the screeches. I hear little words from the other side that make me think she’s getting irritated when I yank the plug. I tried to make a small joke…something about not obviously not using the fax machine often…nothing, not even a peep (I’m thinking now I’ve made it to the ‘Patients Hall of Shame’ bulletin board in her office). After a pause she goes into her schpeel as I’m frantically running back down the hall and back downstairs (trying not to pant too loudly…didn’t know I could still run that fast) where I’d lain out my calendar with all the events and dates DH is traveling (I was wondering why the fax machine didn’t go off when Marlene called back that second time…probably because it was only a few seconds call…and why did I forget to unplug that stupid thing for an important phone call….then I slapped myself back to focus on her words). She asked “When do you want to get this done?” I wasn’t prepared for that (I thought she’d just give me a date and I’d say whether it worked or not). So I stammered something about “How long is the pre-op diet?”…pause, she must be so done with me…“or isn’t there one?” “No, there’s no pre-op diet.” “OK, why don’t I give you the dates that don’t work and we can start there.” I mentioned the bad dates the next two weeks (which left me with 4 dates) and she came back with a date in the third week ...well it worked, so I’m thrilled! She told me she’d send to the insurance today and told me the nurse would call me to set-up a physical. She was about to hang up when I asked about the pre-op class. “You haven’t taken that yet?” “Well, no.”…they told me I couldn’t until you set my date…no, I didn’t say it…didn’t want to press my luck. So she told me when/where to come next week and I didn’t let her get away without profusely thanking her…probably a little over the top, but…my approval is still in her hands.     So the rest you can guess…there was dancing and merry-making involved on my part! I called the only person I’m telling, DH who was so thrilled, but also told me he’s not really celebrating until the insurance approval…party pooper (he just doesn't want me to get dissapointed)…God love him, he’s a worrier. So I called my LBT friends right here! Party at my house!!!!
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4/21/09 Pics and Countdown...5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

We had a nice meal out for our early Anniversary last night (my 'Last Supper'). Don't worry, I picked the fish and a salad (OK, and a piece of the soft gooey herb bread…the kind that would for sure get stuck) and had 2 protein shakes the rest of today. It's a fun filled day today of clear liquids. I did another anti-bacterial scrub down as ordered and have finished packing packing. I just called in and I need to be there at 5:30am…I hope that means I get to go first…getting excited.   OK, now here comes the reminders…remember my 5th post (2nd paragraph) HERE…WHAT you don't remember? You know…when I went to the initial seminar…the ONLY time I've met my surgeon…and I (accidentally..it just came out!) blurted a joke out in the back of the class that might have insulted the doc…so if I'm not back here my doc must have heard me…and I'm holding you to your promise LOL.   Last item…I drew my porthole (if you missed why read HERE)…I decided to add the words "Port Site" around it, lest the doc not get my little joke and think it's a tattoo that he needs to avoid (that'll be my luck). OK, NO WAY would anyone think it's a tattoo as it's so roughly drawn. Add to that you're my stomach is no longer that tight hard taunt canvas I used to have and it's like trying to draw on pudding (yeah, I thought about using the word Jell-O, but even that is firmer than my tummy...trust me, I've had lots of Jell-O today…blech). Now add to that the fact that I need to breath…oh, yeah!...forgot about that didn't you…so my stomach is going in and out. Good thing my boobs aren't huge or it would have been impossible (I should have picked a lower place for my port!). Why the heck didn't I pick a free form picture…and I HAD to do 3 circles inside each other? I DOUBLE-DOG-DARE YOU to try to make a drawing on your own stomach while the picture looks backwards and upside down…common just try to make a smiley face inside a circle…hey, I'll even let you use a washable marker unlike my permanent one (but no do-overs)…now go look at it in the mirror (hee-hee-hee). I'm sending a pic now because it will probably look (as if it's not shaky enough) even worse tomorrow after my shower/abdomen scrub I need to do. Here's the fatal flaw…I forgot about the "blow up your abdomen" part…you know how cute those little puffer fish look with their fins sticking straight out to their sides twirling around as they float along? Then they BLOW UP and they look all sorts of scary!!! I wonder what my poor porthole will look like when it's all blown up and distorted LOL! I think I attached the PIC BELOW. I've never uploaded or attached...only took me three hours from taking the pic LOL (kept me from getting nervous about tomorrow)...and there's me today...No makeup...not sure I even brushed my hair...oh, well...I wasn't wasting my first attachment on one pic!..just don't ask me how to do it again LOL.   Thanks my LBT friends for being so helpful along this journey. Bandlandia here I come! See you on the other side. Countdown...5! 4! 3! 2! 1!...Countdown to BG's Banding!!!  
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11/17/09 Doing A 180

What a difference a day makes! See that grin on my face?!! I woke up to a loss this morning...180 lbs. for the first time in a long time! Yeah baby...I'm headed back to the 70's (let's hope soon!)! I had a follow up with the Urology Specialist today downtown at Magee Hospital (the one who put me on Vesicare...working great still BTW!). I first saw a nurse who I'd not met before. After 'suiting up' and leaving my sample, the doc finally came in. She started with 'I saw you walk by my office and didn't even recognize you!! I had to ask the girls if I had a new patient today they forgot to tell me about!!' Then she went on and on about how great I looked and asked me all kinds of questions. The best part was when she must have looked up my age. She explained to me that they just had a group of medical school students in yesterday and in medical school they teach the students to describe the patient's (I think she called it) apparent age...do they look older, younger or about their actual age. She went on and on about how much younger I look than my actual age (just the thing that someone who just went through the trauma of turning 50 needs to hear). OK, I'm gloating here and she was probably laying it on thick as she complimented me at least a dozen times...I was embarressed actually, but it made my day, make that my week. I can count the number of NSV's I've gotten from people outside my family on one hand (sad, but I expected that as people generally see you lose slowly and I've lost weight before), so I'm allowed to revel in this a moment. OK, gloating over...but I've still got that stupid grin on my face! I had a little bit of a down day yesterday, but today turned me around...I'm Doing A 180!!!
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10/27/09 Goal Limbo

I’m coining a new phrase here on LBT. Because I’m going to need it. Soon. How many threads, posts, and blogs have you seen here about LB’ers who are getting close to goal (usually starting about 30 lbs. out from goal, depending on their BMI) and are facing a whole new set of challenges. Their BMI is lower, as is their weight. Although they’re at their Sweet Spot the amount of food they can eat and still lose weight is no longer working for them. The same goes for exercise. Yeah, they’ve hit plateaus before, but that doesn’t even come close to this…it’s much worse…the weight loss stalls and slows down to a painful crawl…a death march even. I’m paying more attention to all those ‘30 and Goal’ posts (sounds like a football commentary, doesn’t it?). They feel guilty for complaining or even asking for support here…How can they not feel guilty for even seeking support when they’ve lost a ton of weight and are now in clothes sizes they haven’t seen in years…for some, since grade school? How can they justify needing support when others are struggling just to start losing their weight? After all, they’re so close to goal…and look at all the newbies here just starting their 6 mo. diet…or those that are now in ‘Bandster Hell’ and are just trying so hard to maintain and wait for those fills. What right do they have to complain? They’d look like FOOLS for complaining! They’ve lost a ton of weight…they’re almost at goal…they look better…they feel better…they are so happy with their weight loss…I’m with you…WHAT THE HECK DO THEY HAVE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT? Except…now…I’m almost there… These Banders get that. They feel the same way…they feel happy and frustrated at the same time…they’re happy with how far they’ve come, but they’re frustrated with their slow progress getting those last 30 or so pounds off. Should they feel happy or sad? They don’t even know how to feel about it…and it‘s not like the NSV’s are still pouring in to make them feel good as they‘ve now been this weight for awhile. Maybe they even feel a little like a failure and as though they’ve let others or themselves down with their slow weight loss. These Banders feel like they have to apologize for even complaining. Over and over they feel like they had to justify why they had a right to be frustrated at all. So how do you go about explaining how horrible it feels being so close to goal and for your weight loss to stall. You lost the bulk of the weight at least somewhat steadily, but now the scale is barely moving and at this rate it might/is taking years to get to goal.   Those people generally get sympathy from others who are in the same position they are, or others that have already been through it (and we know there not as many ‘old-timers’ here…maybe this is why some disappear even?). Don’t we all give great sympathy to those going through ‘Bandster Hell’? It’s because we’ve all been there. I kept thinking…heck, when I was going through that period after banding and before restriction and I was feeling down and needed support all I had to say was ‘I’m going through Bandster Hell’ and I’d get all kinds of support…‘Oh, I’ve been there too’… ‘This is normal’ … ‘Don’t worry it will end soon’ … ‘Try this…’ Mention just two words ‘Bandster Hell’ and you need not have to explain any further…we get it…we sympathize. Here’s the thing…I’ve decided I’ll need an acronym or at least a term for this period in my Band journey. If I can say PB, Slime, Stuck, or Bandster Hell and I don’t need to explain or justify these terms and my being there, then why isn’t there one for this tough, usually longest phase in the Band journey? I looked on several sites and there isn’t one. I need a term so that I can talk about this without having to give a lengthy explanation and justification each time…something like ‘Bandster Hell’. I figure the best time to come up with this is even before I start into this phase. I don’t need your support yet for this, because I’m not there yet, but I will be soon. I looked at words and I found one that really struck home…LIMBO, in limbo: a state of uncertainty or of being kept waiting; a state of oblivion or neglect; a condition of uneasiness or aprehension; a state or place of profound anxiety brought on by the unknown; indeterminate state; a condition of unknowable outcome. Well that works. So I’m coining a new phrase for myself (and anyone else) here so I won’t have to explain or justify why I need support. I’ll soon be 30 lbs. or less from goal and I’m sure I’ll need to continue getting support here. You’ll read this phase name and you’ll just nod your head and know exactly what I’m talking about and hopefully give me the support I’ll still need (because if your not there yet, you know you soon will be). You’ll understand that I have the right to be frustrated or upset because this phase of the journey brings its own set of challenges and it’s own set of emotional issues. I’ll need the same support you give all of us at any point in this journey. You see, I’m headed into that last phase of Weight Loss…and I may be there a LOOONG time so I’ll need your patience and understanding. I’m headed into ‘Goal Limbo’.
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2/7/09 They're Back!

Dear Gawd help me! I knew it was inevitable. It comes this time every year, so why wasn’t I prepared? I have no excuse…my DD was a GS, and I was even a leader for a few years…and here’s the kicker…I was the ‘Cookie Mom’ for several years. So why didn’t I see this coming? The doorbell rang and then I heard it from downstairs…”MOM! It’s the Girl Scouts selling cookies!!!” I froze! I’m a sucker for those GS Cookies and those little cute neighbor Girl Scouts! I always buy several boxes of each person’s favorites, and I’ve got the huge list down pat by now. This year was different though…my heart started palpitating and all I could think of was…Those d*@n cookies are going to arrive right about the time I start my pre-op diet!!! I could barely breath as I pictured those Tag-a-longs and frozen Thin Mints (best served frozen and dipped in milk…and come to think of it THIN MINT? Who ever got Thin eating those??)…AAAHHHH! “MOM!!! I’m picking out my favorites…HURRY UP!!!” Then, I heard it…the garage door going up….deep sigh of relief…breath slowly coming back…I yell down “I’m busy, Dad’s home now, so get him to finish the order please.” I don’t even want to know what they ordered…I’ve just got to focus now and get myself prepared for the smell of Thin Mints while I’m on the pre-op diet…maybe if I start wearing Vicks-Vapo-Rub every day until then I’ll be repulsed by the smell? You see, they say on the pre-op diet that I’ll be so hungry I’ll probably eat my youngest…wait, maybe after he eats a bunch of those cookies he’ll taste like a Thin Mint?!!!
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9/11/09 Where were you?

What were you doing last night? I was watching the Steelers win the kickoff NFL game (BTW the Penguins were at the White House yesterday meeting the President)! But do you remember where you were and what were you doing on 9/11/01? I find it's sometimes cathartic to talk about traumatic events.   What a defining day in our lives. I think this day will resound with my generation as Pearl Harbour Day does with my parents. I’m sure most of you remember where you were. There are very few days in my life where I can tell you where I was and what I was doing at the time…Neil Armstrong walking on the moon, my wedding, the Challenger disaster, my three children’s births and a handful of other days. On 9/11/01 I was with DH on one of a handful of pre/post business trips I’ve joined him on. My Mom had come from Columbus to watch our 3 kids so I could join DH for two days before his convention in Las Vegas, of all places! It was my first trip there and I’d put our names on a waiting list for the Cirque du Soleil ‘O’ show (the one that is in/over a giant pool of water) and the second night they called to say they had tickets available for the late show…we went and if it hadn’t been such a great show we would have fallen asleep as it ended very late (our time). We slept in and DH got in the shower while I turned on the Today Show and started quickly packing for my return flight home that I needed to catch in about an hour. I remember screaming to DH as I watched the first plane hitting the tower...at first he thought I had it wrong…I was so riveted on the TV I couldn’t leave and kept screaming to him to come and see for himself. We watched in horror as the second plane hit. As soon as we knew what was really happening we were on the phone to the travel agent and even went downstairs to try and rent a car to get home. Others had beaten us there and even when we tried to rent a U-haul truck we were informed that everything in town was gone. People were trying to find others who had cars to pay them for a ride their direction. The phones were so tied up that I couldn’t get through to my Mom at home. All we wanted to do was get home. Unbenounced to me, my family was panicking wondering about us and by then they had all heard of a plane going down ‘somewhere in Western Pennsylvania’ (that was back when none of us but DH had a cell phone and the landlines were tied up). They didn’t know if that was my plane coming back to Pittsburgh or even if our home had been hit in Pittsburgh (there's a big memorial ceremony going on now near here at the Shanksville site). We eventually got through and all of us reconnected. We sadly watched with the rest of the country as the towers fell. I’m tearing up now remembering the tragic and devestating loss of life and horrors we all witnessed that day. I think it hit home even more to my kids as we’d all been to NY City on vacation just a few weeks before 9/11 in mid-August with DH’s sister’s family. We actually had reservations in the ‘Windows on the World’ restaurant at the top of one tower for lunch, which we decided to cancel in favor of having more time to take the kids to Ellis Island and past the Statue of Liberty via boat. Over 150 people; everyone present in the restaurant that morning perished. I'm glad, for the kids sake, that they hadn't been there. Windows on the World.     When I took DD back to NYC a few years ago for her spring break all she wanted to do was go to Ground Zero; even though she knew nothing was there but some fencing and excavated foundations.   It took DH a few days to track down his college roommate who worked in one of the shorter buildings in the WTC complex. His building suffered quite a lot of damage; windows all blown out, etc., but he was safe.   I’ll have to say being in Las Vegas was a very surreal place to be during this event. We were stuck there for an additional 3 days and were lucky (with our travel agent’s help) to get one of the first flights home. When we went downstairs to try to find ground transportation that first morning we walked through the casino and lobby to see a few TV’s with people gathered around them and right next to them were people still playing the slot machines…I wanted to scream at those still gambling ‘Don’t you know what is happening?’   We also had some wonderful moments of commeradery…we took a taxi out to the closest department store where I found the lengerie department packed with women like me looking to buy more underwear to get through the next days until we could get home. We were all helping eachother find sizes and discussing how many we might need. I only had clothing for two nights, so I bought a few more tops as well. I remember having discussions with the resort staff as well. Immediately every show was, of course, cancelled and by the second day the staff knew this event was going to be devestating to the economy in their town and were expecting huge lay-offs, which happened…their economy was devistated. There was lots of talk on that morning about the fact that Las Vegas might be a likely next target. It was certainly disturbing to later learn that a number of the 9/11 hijackers make at least six trips to Las Vegas immediately before the attacks.   I can tell you I was never so glad to get home and hug my family. Our lives will go on, but WE WILL NEVER FORGET.   Where were you, and what were you doing that day?
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