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About this blog

THE SWEET SPOT My journal on my expedition to Bandlandia and my adventures there. I plan to stay forever (been to Onederland many times, but I never stayed long). Join me!:see

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5/8/10 Blog Updates and I need input for the Book

Here are some blog updates. Remember, anyone can read these and you can comment under the 'anonymous' choice if you don't have a Google account (just keep pushing the button after you post and it will give you a word verification.   As you know, I'm now working on trying to write a LB book (after a year of messages from all of you suggesting it LOL). I would really appreciate it if you could send me some information (you can do this here, or with a PM, comment on the blog, or via my email) as I go along...I routinely ask questions so I can gather input for the book as I want this to represent all our journies as much as possible. The two blogs marked with * below, are where I need some input currently. THANK YOU! -BG Blog here: THE SWEET SPOT   5/7/10 Lock Me Up...I'm a Smuggler! (Patio projects) *5/5/10 Pre-Op Process (Dr. Clearance & Testing) *5/4/10 Pre-Op Process (Self-Pay or Covered) 5/3/10 Of Mice and Men (and Brother, Sisters...and Parents) (Helping Parents get ready to sell their home 4/27/10 Happy Birthday! 4/24/10 Don't Have any Wild Parties...(going home)
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12/26/08 It's the Thought that Counts!

My Christmas was great :cursing: and I hope yours was too (or whatever holiday you’ve been/are celebrating)! Today is our "Jammie Day" playing games and staying in jammies as late as you want. I’ve got so many wonderful new memories and more insights about the role of food in my life,:embaressed_smile: but I thought today I’d share my Christmas Eve. That’s the night we exchanged ornaments with each other. Poor Mr.SA! I know he feels such pressure to get just the right ornament for me as he knows what a Christmas nut I am. I think he feels more pressure for this little gift each year than any other and I’ll admit I probably add to that pressure since I am so sentimental about my ornaments and put so much thought into this tradition. It’s the only gift we all exchange on Christmas Eve so all eyes are on the ornaments. I started the exchange by giving out the ones I’ve told you about already (see my 11/19/08 blog “Inspiration in Skinny Photos” here) …the snowglobes with photos and another photo ornament each. They had a laugh over the photos I chose…my DD even noticed that the photo of me was a great one and she commented on how nice I looked (skinny honey, the word is skinny:laugh:)…and then I gave out several Disneyland Paris ones from our trip in May… I even had Mickey head glass ones that I personalized myself with their names/year and the DLP logo. I also gave Mr.SA some wooden German Steinbach ornaments (he grew up on an Army base in Germany so he has a small tree full of them). The kids gave me some beautiful ones they handmade that I’ll treasure. Then I opened mine from Mr.SA…it’s PERFECT:w00t:…it relates to something I collect (old kitchen tools) and I have a little tree that sits on the end of my kitchen counter that it will be perfect on…he told me he spent months on eBay trying to get this one before he finally did.   The only problem? He gave me the same ornament two years ago. No, I didn’t tell him...and I thought I kept a poker face:smile2: as I thanked him profusely, but he asked if I already had it…I think he guessed when he saw the kid's faces. It’s already hanging at the top of my kitchen tree and the kids see it every day as they sometimes eat at the counter. :crying:Poor guy, I felt so bad for him!:sad: I kept telling him how perfect it was and how much I appreciated the thought, but I couldn’t console him…I tried reminding him how stressed out we’ve both been and how many things I’ve forgotten lately, but he was sooooo disappointed. I then thought about my “ace in the hole” :idea:(my mistake) and was hoping that would make him feel better.   Remember my blog about my DD’s nativity set (see my 12/17/08 blog “I Believe in Santa” here)? Well, what I didn’t tell you then is that baby Jesus was the only thing missing from the set when she received it (who knows why). My Mom had bought her a lovely new replacement Jesus many years ago, but you could instantly tell it didn’t go with the original set (even with the pink light shining on him)…made of different materials and especially the scale. Baby Jesus was just a little bit too large for the rest of the set. This year I made it my mission to find the right replacement. The entire set, or individual pieces rarely comes up on eBay, but I kept my eyes peeled. I watched a few sets go by for over a hundred dollars (remember, this set was an antique). Then I finally found one in really bad shape with the stable and a few broken sheep, but low and behold…a baby Jesus:thumbup: I recognized him instantly from my Mom’s set. I sent emails back and forth with the seller several times making sure he was in good shape and explaining why I was so interested in just the baby Jesus. Well she wouldn’t sell or mail JUST him, fair enough, I’d have to pay for the whole stable, broken sheep and all. I won and paid way more than I wanted to, but I felt I’d never get another chance like this. It arrived and baby Jesus was in great shape. He was still wired down to a bundle of glued together straw under him for his cradle.   So, back to this point in our Christmas Eve…I now suggested we do our annual ceremonial placement of baby Jesus in the manger (see 12/6/08 "Traditions..." blog here). I asked whose turn it was to carry him in (hoping it was my DD), but DS1 said it was his turn, so I showed him where baby Jesus was hidden. We sang ‘Silent Night’ as DS1 placed him and at the end of the song my DD looks at him and says… “Hey, that’s not my baby Jesus?” “I know.” I said smiling. “I wanted to surprise you with the right replacement one and after a year of looking I finally found him on eBay.” Then the laughter begins… “He’s HUGE!” they all shout at once (my DD is crying with laughter:lol: at this point). Yep, I had to explain I bought him not even thinking that an antique set might have had different scaled sets:huh2: so I asked the seller about everything but his size.:der: Baby Jesus is as big as Mary...maybe bigger...he's HUGE! Even Mr.SA was laughing now…I hope he sees EVERYONE makes mistakes and it’s really the thought that counts.
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1/13/09 Psych and Surgeon Consult

It’s been a busy two days. Yesterday morning I had my Psych pre-op visit. Now, I’ve been a little nervous about this one…probably because I’ve never been before…or maybe it’s because of that somewhat dysfunctional family (or was that fun family?) I grew up in. Anyway, I Map Quested the directions downtown and I set the GPS up in the car. Even with all this technology I realize I need to start asking for landmarks. I turned on the final road, which happened to be a one way square with four lanes of traffic (about a block long on each side). The GPS is yelling at me that my destination is on the right, I’m looking for the address to no avail. About the third time circling around the square I’m feeling like a lab rat in a maze…is this part of the Psych test? I’m not going to find it…so I call (fun to do while you’re in the giant circle of traffic). Landmark “church”…NOT on the right…stupid GPS…and NO address on the front of the building…it’s on the side facing the parking lot…OK, by the time I know which parking lot to pull into, of COURSE I know I’m at the right address…stupid signs. Glad I cushioned my time to get there…my Psychiatrist looks like he stepped right out of a Psych book…Brown hair with a beard, dressed all in brown with a brown tweed coat...all he needed was a pipe. Yes, he had a couch, but I chose the chair. We signed a few forms, he showed me the form he’ll send to the surgeon, I waited while he filled some more forms out (are you asleep yet…maybe that’s what that couch is for?). He asked me a list of questions for about 20 more minutes, I answered honestly (luckily he didn’t ask too many hard ones) and we were done…it probably would have been quicker, but I tend to babble when I’m nervous. Piece of cake…whew! It was ALMOST disappointing that he didn’t bite on anything, not even my labels in the pantry, apparently NOT OCD. I think it’s good you now know someone to call if you’re having issues after the band, especially for someone like me who wouldn’t know where to find help.   Today was the surgeon consult. Mr.SA took the day off to go with me, and since they rescheduled it, unfortunately it was a noon appointment. We arrived early and by the time I was done completing paperwork and waiting it was 45 min. later. Mr. SA noticed that most of the waiting room had loveseat size chairs, and many there needed them…I count myself lucky I’m getting help while I can still barely squeeze into a regular chair. More deadpan nurses (Does no one enjoy their job these days? Better than 'bedpan'! Ha!) and I’m on the scale…wow…it’s a huge scale…whoops, I’ve lost a few pounds, I’m only 5# from the minimum BMI, with shoes on. I didn’t lock my knees completely and I made the 5’8” easily (I’m shrinking in my old age). More waiting in the exam room…I took this opportunity to babble endlessly to Mr.SA, as I do when I’m nervous. He asked me how they fill a band that’s already in you…Was he not at two of the three seminars I attended? Maybe he was just trying to keep my busy…so I humored him and explained the port…then I explained how it feels to be heavy…imagine someone strapped 10, 10# bowling balls to you and asked you to carry on. About that time the surgeon (Dr. Colella, which was good, so now I’ve met both of them), the woman (Susan I think) who runs the pre-op class (I’ll need to attend a few weeks prior to surgery) and the head resident came in. After a few greetings he asked what questions I had about the surgery…the woman commented on my typed and highlighted sheet of questions (a little OCD…I’m telling you) and that she liked it. I rapidly went through my questions and he confirmed I could chose the LB, and we confirmed my port site being slightly to the left, between my ribs and belly button line (the default, if you don’t care, is the right)…he acted a little surprised that I cared (I’m right handed, I sleep only on my right as my left shoulder is bad, I care), but he had no problem placing it anywhere as long as it’s not too far from the band. He listened to my extreme nausea with anesthesia issues and will give me preventatives as I had with my last surgery (actually, the resident will handle this with the anesthesiologist). He’s asked me to do a cardiology MRI and then I’ll see the cardiologist for clearance, so two new things to schedule (I’m not sure if this is routine, or if it was because of all the heart issues in my family history). I just realized I forgot to tell him about my allergy to surgical tape (the adhesive actually) so I’ll have to call about that. It was a good, positive meeting and he gives you complete confidence that everything will go smoothly.   If you’ve made it this far without falling asleep, I applaude you my friend, as I wanted to remember the major points. So now, for the great part!!! The insurance lady, Patty came in next to go over my questions. I asked if I could lose more than the 35 BMI min. and her answer was "If you weighed less than the 35 BMI then you wouldn't need the surgery now would you?" Got it...nuff said. Apparently Highmark PPO Blue is the ‘cadillac’ (her words) of the insurance companies in our area. She confirmed that my insurance will cover their percentage of everything, and my doc even includes 6 fills (I think ins. will cover them as well). When I discussed all the extra work I’d done with my PCP; my own form, education every month, and then asked if I could supply a personal letter to the insurance co. she told me if I had another ins. co., that might be needed, but all I needed to do was have the PCP fill out the very basics on their form and it would be fine for Highmark. She said they usually get back to her with approval within 72 hours. Then she confirmed my wildest dream that I truly only have to do 6 visits with my PCP, not 6 months/7 visits. That means if I can get all the cardio visits done I could have everything into the surgeon by early April. She said I might even be in for surgery by the end of April! Hooray!!! With two kids graduating (college and H.S.) this spring, an earlier date is so much better! Hey, I might even make my original goal of having this done by my 49 7/8 birthday (yes, and holding) on the 27th! Whoot!!!
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1/5/09 This Is The Dawning Of...

Went to my PCP today for weigh-in...drumroll please....#3!!!!:w00t: PARTY AT MY HOUSE! I'm thinking that means I'm about halfway there, "over the hump" or in my case "over the bump", or "over the big bumps", OK, "over lots of big bumpy cellulite"...eeew.:eek: Nothing could ruin my mood…not even the Nurse who ushered me to the scale with a loud “AND WHY ARE YOU HERE TODAY?” “For a WEIGH IN visit!”:tt2: I replied as I hopped up on the scale to NO WEIGHT LOSS. I smiled at her and said “Well, at least I didn’t gain anything in Dec. and that’s something?!”…not a word…hmm… “Have a nice day!” I coo as she departs.   I see the CRNP at my PCP's office for these visits and I love her. We were chatting along about my not losing any pounds this month, and her new haircut, and me poking fun at myself ...we were there just chatting (yes, mostly about my diet/exercise)…when she says “This is always the best part of my day!” I said “Yeah, I’ll bet it’s nice to see someone who’s happy to be here and isn’t sick!” I really do want to start my better habits now so we made some harder goals for this month :confused:…I also want to start that ‘bird thing’…and NO I’m not (YET) talking about eating tiny portions like a bird…you know, No drinking with meals…you can either sit at the birdfeeder or the birdbath for a drink, not both.:sleep: About the time we were lamenting bad haircuts from years past,:thumbup: I remembered I left my DD at another Dr’s. office, so I scooted to get her.   We picked up our records at yet another Drs. for our..yet another Dr’s.appointment tomorrow morning (nothing to do with LB). I came home and sorted all my Dr’s. records an into a huge pile of files…whew. Man, I thought that ‘Dashing through the Drs.’ (HERE) was bad in Dec.…this next month will be worse between the whole family.That’s life. I’m proud to say that in between guitar lessons for DS, errands, and getting 2” off my hair (couldn't have another bad haircut!), I also made my last required Dr. appt. with the NUT:crazy: (No, not that kind of nut…not the Psych, the NUTritionist). So…another drumroll…if all goes as planned and no one calls again to reschedule…and when the moon is in the Seventh House…and Jupiter aligns with Mars…I’ll be through all the Dr’s. appointments (except probably a pre-op) by Feb. 5th!! Yea…then more waiting…double yea…
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1/6/09 The Biggest Loser Winner

I’m watching ‘The Biggest Loser’ right now (along with most of you I’m sure) and I just got another “Little Nudge”…Ever since I’ve decided this past summer to pursue WLS I’ve been noticing these more. Over the years, when I’ve been on my multitude of diets, all I ever noticed was the food; commercials, cooking shows, diet plans…FOOD, FOOD, FOOD! But since my decision I’ve noticed other things…those little nudges that say ‘Yeah, you’ve made the right decision, keep going toward your goal!’. Some were obvious ‘you don’t have to hit me over the head’ things like suddenly having almost no clothes to wear, and the day of my first weigh-in where I got my hypertension diagnosis…yes, the comorbidity I needed to get accepted, but scary at the same time. Some were small lightbulbs like my Mom buying me a kitchen scale that I need for weighing mail…yes, I just realized I’ll actually be using it now for food. I haven’t told anyone but DH about my decision, yet I keep getting these little nudges.   Tonight’s was a biggie though…my youngest DS/13 was watching the show with me. He started off the show saying ‘You’re not as big as any of them Mom’…Bless his heart…Denial is a thing I’ve obviously taught my child well. Minutes into the show though the oldest man collapsed and passed out…my son freaked; of course the show was talking all about health problems and that obesity causes them and early death. DS who didn’t want to say anything for fear of making me mad was obviously dying to talk about it (we NEVER talk about ‘IT’, my weight). So, I gave him permission…I told him I wanted to know how he was feeling and I promised not to get mad. He said plenty…he was scared…and he had it all figured out…exactly how old I would be when he graduates college (like his sister is getting ready to) and how I might not be alive by then if I didn’t get thinner…WOW…I hate to admit it, but I’ve been so internally focused on this journey and improving my health that I’d never considered that my kids might be just as worried about my health. He made me promise that I’d be on the treadmill tomorrow morning…fighting back the tears I promised.   He’s in bed now, so I’m glad he missed the part of the show when they go to the Drs. for all the testing. I was glad he missed my tears as I watched the Dr. explain what a fatty liver is (wouldn’t have know that one before researching LB)…and I certainly dropped a few more tears when the guy who had RnY explained how he’d put ON weight since the surgery…I feel for these people. In past seasons you could have found me on the couch watching this show and saying ‘yeah if I had a trainer 24/7 maybe I could get those results’…and boy have I noticed those reunion shows and how so many of those that lost major weight on this show gained a lot back…all the negatives. This year I’m hopeful…and I’m feeling like I’m being nudged in the right direction…I will be The Biggest Loser Winner!
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1/22/09 A Busy Week

Well, my computer is still down. The 3rd power cord arrived (Dell) and now it gives me a new error message…grrr! I’ll let Mr.SA deal with it next week (traveling this week) with the guy he gets to fix our computers near his workplace. You don’t realize how much you rely on your computer until it’s gone! I’m supposed to be logging my food intake online, but with limited access, that’s been stalled.   I’ve been so busy the last week since I last checked in here. Got DD on Saturday (in a snowstorm and self-navigating several accident detours) from college…it was scary on those steep, ice covered, back roads (I need 4-wheel drive). We saw another accident on the accident detour…truck halfway in a ditch and they were trying to rock it out). DD had 2 Dr. re-check appts. scheduled for Tues. She woke up and was ill/pain Tues. around 4am (so bad she was numb and almost fainted- low blood pressure probably), but we made it to her pre-arranged Internist visit at 8:20am, but now the recheck took a new turn. The Internist ordered 5 new tests and gave her a new med Rx (the pain was short-lived so we’re hoping it wasn’t related and was just an intestinal virus). We flew downtown to Magee Hospital for her 10am re-check appointment only to find out her appointment wasn’t until 1pm (remind me to double-check times with DD…I love my DD). I decided to make the best of it and after MUCH finagling, begging, and phone calls we were able to get 3 of the new tests completed there, 1 started, the rest scheduled for the hospital near her college, and we had lunch in the cafeteria. I think I now know every waiting room and lab at Magee intimately now…we sat in the last one for 2 ½ hours. We didn’t get out of there until after 4pm, so we were stuck in traffic and more snow squalls heading back to college…and we had to pick up some dinner…what a long day. DD was laughing and calling it our ‘Magee Bonding Day’…yeah, I love you honey but, funny…not! The good news is that the test results we have so far are all good news.   DS1 had his scoping procedure done yesterday and everything is clear. He was the last of us to go in for this. I was talking to the Gastroenterologist after the procedure and as DS1 was waking up from his ‘twilight’ anesthesia…he hears the Dr. saying ‘return in 3 years’ and DS1 wakes up and yells for all in the recovery room to hear...‘I have to drink all that S#@T again in 3 MONTHS??!!’…lovely language from my 18 year old…don’t you love it when your kids embarrass you?... ‘no honey, it’s 3 YEARS’…he doesn’t even remember it happening. Remind me to thank DH for being away on business all this week. Anyway, it’s all good...the Genetics Counselor said we don’t need genetic testing at this point (great news) and so we don’t have to all go through this again for 2-5 years depending on the person (We’re going professional then…with the prep/process…I’ve got it down pat).   Now onto my LB process…I’ve made my Cardiac MRI appointment the surgeon ordered and also my Cardiologist visit. I’m done with all this stuff by mid-February. I’m still a little confused as to how surgery might happen by the end of April. I don’t finish my 6 mo. diet until the beginning of April. I called about the Pre-Op group class I have to take with the Surgeon’s office, which is only offered twice a month, and apparently you can’t schedule that until everything is turned into the insurance co. at which point the surgeon gives me a tentative surgery date. There was also some Lab Work mentioned and I’m not clear when that happens either. I’m thinking it will be early May before surgery…great, I’ll be on that lovely pre-op diet for DH's 50th and my 49 7/8 birthdays the end of April (born on the same day). That’s OK though, DD graduates beginning of May and DS1 the beginning of June. I’m thinking I can schedule between the two as I’ll have a house full of company and parties for both events. If I align this perfectly I’ll have about 3 weeks max. to heal before the second event...and I'm not telling anyone so I have to be 'huggable' by then (hmm…maybe 2 ½ with all the prep work for the huge H.S. graduation party…hmm…maybe more like 2 if they can’t schedule me the day after my company leaves the first time...I'm living in my la-la land again aren't I?). I’d better be one of those Banders who posts ‘Yeah, I was home the same day and was fine..out shopping the next day…back to work the same week’…I’m counting on it or I’m taking your names and comin’ after you!!!
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8/18-21/09 Nesting and the Big College Move

I've lost 2.5 pounds of the 4 lb. I gained in the two weeks gone. My stomach is pretty much back to normal (had a few burning issues yesterday, but I'm staying on the Nexium until I see the doc next week). We're off to Columbus again for a nephew's college graduation party (from OSU). Yay, college football starts again! Mom's cooking all weekend...help me! Have a great loooong weekend all! OK, here's my journal from the week before last when I was swamped with getting ready for the college move and then vacation the next day.   8/18 I just got a call from my sister-in law. My niece/goddaughter is off to PSU tomorrow for her senior year and they're packing the car. She's so excited our DS1 is starting at PSU this year and she's meeting us Friday to help with his move in. I'm 'nesting'. I've been spending days buying and returning items (when I find something better) to stores, checking things off lists and organizing it all. He'll be almost 4 hours from home and it helps me to know he'll have everything he needs.   I'm a self-admittedly almost OCD organizer. I've got plastic bins all organized and labeled…I've written our last name in sharpie on most of his more expensive things…tiny, where no one will notice, but this totally irks DS1…it's not like I'm labeling his underwear or anything (although that isn't a bad idea LOL). I bought some more bins yesterday and I'm disappointed he doesn't seem to have anything to put in them…boys just need less than girls. We took the car and the van to move DD in her freshman year. I'm thinking we're going to get everything in the van…and probably without the roof-rack and car-top carrier.   I spent half a day trying to find pics of his dorm room setup online (finally found a few on Flicker). PSU missed the boat on this one…no pics, just a drawing of the layout with mislabeled room sizes (one dimension says 12'15"…took me finding other sites to realize it's 12'5" and it was a typo, like I suspected). The furniture isn't even to scale on their drawings (yeah, I plugged the room info. into my architect computer program to see how his things would fit). These freshman dorm rooms are TINY and the furniture is all bolted down, so correct dimensions are important when you're trying to figure out if the rug you bought will fit in the room (I think I have an inch leeway on one side as long as the radiator isn't deeper than 12"…no dimensions given). Luckily, I also got a 'heads-up' on a few things from my niece…like you can request a Twin XL bed instead of the Twin given (big deal if you're over 6' like DS1 is) and that the beds have 6 legs and not 4 (important if you're buying bed riser feet in packs of 4 so you can put big bins of things under the bed).   We've got 'extras' of several items…no way will we be standing in the 2 hour lines at Wal-Mart for more extension cords. I'm such a visual organizer that it helps me to feel that he's settled before we get there. I know where most things go and then when we're done placing it all I feel like the Momma bird who has feathered the nest and made it all cozy for her baby. Leaving your child at school for the first time is hard enough without feeling like you've left them without something they'll need. Do I get that he's a big-boy now and can certainly get to the store and buy things if he needs them…yep, of course I do, but it makes me feel better…and so I'm nesting… ---- 8/19 Side note; we finished the art projects for his room (I may have told you about these already, so sorry if I'm repeating?). DH and DS1 made a batik for the big wall over his bed. DD and I did a decoupage tissue paper triptych for her first dorm room with all her room colors, so I was trying to find something that DH could do with DS1…DH can't draw a straight line to save his life, but I remembered seeing some batiks that he had made in HS. I helped DS1 draw out the Nittany Lion paw print logo on the white fabric we bought and then they painted the wax and dyed it the PSU blue. I ironed it out and hemmed the edges (It was my sneaky way of getting a little color in the room with all the black, black, gray, and black…and now blue! hee-hee). I also surprised DS1 with taking some indoor/outdoor lights (just round white bulbs) and painting some little paw prints on those too with some glass paint…yes, you can bake light-bulbs in the oven. ---- 8/21 The move into college went well. We got permission to move in with the locals on Friday since we leave for vacation on Saturday morning. It was a super Looooong day....up and out by 5am, 4 hours there, unpack and lunch, 4 hours home, then repack the whole car for vacation. Everything for his move went really smoothly though. We arrived there 15 min. before the start of check-in time and thankfully they were already ready and unloading cars. PSU was very organized…we were sent right onto the grass parking for his dorm and students were there with dollies to take loads up to his room (we'd borrowed one from a neighbor also). Lucky for us I'm a little OCD about things as I'd looked and knew there was a good chance of rain in the morning and insisted we put everything not in plastic bins into plastic bags. It was drizzling when we arrived and then we had a hard shower while DH and DS1 were taking loads up as I unpacked the van. When they came back, they were happy that his giant pile of stuff on the sidewalk was protected from the rain as everyone around us was trying to hold umbrellas over their stuff.   My niece/god-daughter (also at PSU) came to the room to help and she was great. After struggling to get the rug down and under both beds, the rest of the move went smoothly. We got his batik up on the wall and my niece put up the lights I made him up on the ceiling. The two body pillows fit well along the wall and made the bed into a nice 'couch' of sorts. My son had insisted that he didn't want a bed-skirt as anything with the word 'skirt' in it had to be bad and he feared getting made fun of…I tried 'dust-ruffle', but that was even worse LOL. I whispered for my niece to come over while he was busy and we took the 2 curtain panels I'd bought (for the 'bed-skirt'), folded them and hung them from the bed frame/springs to the floor and overlapped them in the middle. Looks much nicer than seeing the bed risers and the big bins of food and stuff that are under the bed. He was really pleased with how everything turned out…and I don't think he even noticed the bedSKIRT!   *Pic 1 Attached: DS1 in the bed portion; note you can see part of the paw-print batik on the wall and the string of lights hanging (and see how you don't notice the bedskirt with all the other black?). *Pic 2 Attached: DS1 and I in the desk/closet portion; note I also got some more color (blue) in with some wrapping paper on the bulletin board. *Pic 3 Attached: Here's the lights up close with the little logos I painted, it's a 24 set (I made another set to send to my god-daughter as a surprise since she liked his so much).
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12/22/08 I'm Making a List, I'm Checking it Twice...

I’m not ready for Christmas; OK I've admitted it. Every year I say I’m going to get it done early so I can just enjoy it…and every year I’m running around like one of Santa’s elves with his bum on fire. Thank goodness we have one of those school systems that’s screwed up (their idea of Spring Break is a long weekend) and the boys are still in school through tomorrow-half day. We picked DD up from college yesterday and she spent most of the day at two different Dr.’s appointments. I think she has about five more to go before the break is over. DH (took off all week) and I spent the day taking DH's car in to get fixed (again) and then we wrapped presents. It’s quite a production actually. You know me, I have a huge list of all the presents we’ve bought (on a spreadsheet of course). My system is all about equality and fairness. When I’m gone, my kids will be able to say many things about me (all wonderful I'm sure), but I will have no regrets about being fair. I figure it out to within a dollar of each other, and we wrap the exact same amount of presents for each kid. Santa even brings the same number of gifts and the same amount in each stocking. Of course this means wrapping several items together for some kids and it’s quite a mathematical problem (and my kids say they’ll never use algebra again). All I can say is I’m glad I only have three kids or my head would explode! We’re only half-way through the ‘big wrap’ so we’ll have to move double-time tonight and tomorrow. So I’m off to get busy before... ‘Santa Claus is coming to town!’
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7/27/09 Murphy and the Grad Party- Part I

Sorry, I've been gone from here for 10 days, so it's a two part blog.   Murphy’s Law: “If something can go wrong, it will”…seems to be the theme of my life the last few weeks. Nothing traumatic, just life picking on me again. I, however, have survived and am victorious…well, sort'a. As you know I’ve been preparing for DS1’s HS graduation party yesterday…and you’ve heard me whining about trying to make the DVD slideshow of his pics. It was going slowly, but I was learning and slowly but surely I rummaged through my half-unorganized photos and managed to sort them by year (quite the feat), scan, crop, and individually save about 500 photos. Then Muphy’s Law kicked in…it went something like this…(or you can skip this part and just know that I’m severely technologically impaired.).   - My program was an older version of the one my Sis (middle one) had and trained me on…this caused some great difficulties figuring it out and a few items my program couldn’t do.   - Imported a large group of photos into the slideshow program (Movie Maker)…it mixed them all up…had to move them back into chronological order and by then the originals were back in the albums or boxes in a jumbled mess. Remember, I’ve got ‘old-timers’ (as my kids say) and I can’t remember what I did 5 min. ago let alone what year a pic was taken…I’m sure I guessed some of the years wrong, but no baby pics in the teen years LOL...it was 'close enough'. - Set a group of about half the photos into a new folder after they were done, went back to the slideshow and the photos were now just big red “X’s”. After much hysterics…well…it took some undoing. - After importing about 200 photos the slideshow program decided to slow down and continued to do so as I went…by number 500 there was a 30 second delay between each click on my mouse and when finalizing the transitions it would freeze the computer every 15 min. or so…VERY slow going.   Yes, I was ready to lose my mind, but I was determined to win the battle and finally, last weekend I finished…it was beautiful…13 pieces of music…500 pics…cool transitions…even a title and ending! Now, all that was left was to burn the DVD’s! Murphy’s Law again…   - I read the notes from the training with Sis, and realized I now needed to import the whole thing into yet another program…problem was, I didn’t have the program. DH and I spent last Saturday downloading other programs online and trying to burn the DVD with them to no avail.   - I finally admitted defeat and called Sis. Three hours later and many attempts later we figured out my older version could burn straight from there, but my problem was I didn’t have enough RAM to do this with such a big slideshow.   - I’ll wrap this up by telling you that I had to save all the photos and copy them onto DS1’s new college computer we bought him for graduation (after many promises that I wouldn’t blow anything up). Then…yes…I had to REDO the whole slideshow program again from music to photo transitions. I’ll just say that I had Sis in hysterics laughing at all the things that had gone wrong…the only thing that hadn’t happened was the computer completely crashing.   The only thing that saved me from chucking the whole thing was the fact that DS1’s computer is lightning fast and had the newer version of the program on it…well, that and the fact that I had a slideshow for DD’s graduation (one where all I did was scan the pics and paid to have the rest done…money WELL spent folks) so of course DS1, and everyone else was expecting one.   On to the next fun part of my last week. My second big job for the party was the quilt…you know the one where I’ve been saving all my kids T-shirts from every sport/activity they’ve been in since they were a tot and made them into a quilt…I put bands of white canvas between the T-shirt squares and at the party everyone takes a sharpie and writes messages/signs the quilt there. Well, after the DVD’s were finally burned last Monday morning I got back to working on this…thought I’d have weeks to do the quilt as the DVD was only going to take a few days after the scanning part…HA HA. I had most of the shirts cut and started piecing in the canvas. I was zipping along happily and was finally thinking that I’d be able to get caught up and finally start working on the food and other parts of the party. Yep, Murphy’s Law again…(or you can skip this part and just know that I’m cursed).   - The belt that drives my 53 year old Brother sewing machine broke…well, it didn’t just break…it looked like the rubber had been rotting slowly for years and now it was in pieces. Yes, I screamed...Did you hear me on Tuesday? - Many phone calls later the only tidbit of help I got from any store was a name of a store about an hour away where they might be able to fix it if I brought it in and left it for their repair guy….but that would take at least a week.   - More phone calls to every friend and neighbor…do you realize that no one sews anymore? Not a single soul I could find had a portable sewing machine.   - I admitted defeat and called Sis again (more sympathetic laughter) and she agrees to pick up Mom’s portable and bring it on Friday when she arrives a day early to help me with the party.   On to Part II....
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2/13/09 The Perfect Gift

My one wish for Valentine's Day..a girl can dream! (remember, I'm pre-band)   YouTube TV ad: Axe Dark Temtation: Chocolate Man...  
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3/21/10 Blog Updates

3/15/10 Funky Chicken 3/15/10 Porthole 3/16/10 Celebrities in WL Denial 3/17/10 Sugar Doll Award 3/18/10 Weekday Dish 3/19/20 Enquiring Minds Want to Know 3/20/10 7 Fun Questions 3/20/10 Welcome Spring! 3/21/10 Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants   All here: http://bandgroupieth...t.blogspot.com/
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12/28/08 Awareness- Never Eat Anything Bigger Than Your Head

Soooooo? How are you doing with all the food this holiday?   I feel terribly guilty telling all you banders (pre-band here, just trying to maintain) that I gained a full two pounds since this holiday season began and I know, I know, the holidays ‘aint over yet! If that’s any indication of the fun I’ve had then I’m having a great time…and I know, I know…time to redefine fun! I am becoming aware how much food and fun are integrated into my life. Actually I didn’t think I went totally crazy with the food; at least not as crazy as I normally would have. I did savor all those items that I knew I probably won’t be able to eat again post-band. Like the HUGE ball of sticky sage stuffing at Christmas dinner. This stuff-stuffing gets ‘stuck’ in my normal stomach (you could stucco walls with it), so I’m sure this won’t work next year. I’m pretty sure I even broke the family cardinal rule of ‘Never eat anything bigger than your head’ at that meal (the whole meal, not just the stuffing). This rule is just a joke between us, but I think I ACTUALLY broke it…Yep, I’ve also become acutely aware of the amount of food I can pack in with no problem. It’s kinda like playing ‘Biggest Loser’ when they show contestants what they normally ate in one day and they act so surprised…if you go along never paying attention, then you can’t fully appreciate the change you need to make. I still can’t believe I’ll ever be satisfied with a cup of food or less…it sounds like magic or a miracle to me right now.   So in this pre-op period where I'm trying to lose a few pounds. I'm trying to do what I can to prepare and one thing I have been trying to work on is the whole ‘awareness’ thing. It’s becoming quite the head game I found I’ve been playing…trying to pay attention to the massive amounts I can eat…trying to listen to my stomach…I’ve found I’m rarely actually hungry when I eat (that’s what happens when you’re eating all the time even when you’re full). Of course, I usually don’t catch myself before I eat yet…sometimes I’m taking my last bite of something and I’ll suddenly think “Why the heck did you just eat that? I don’t even remember getting the food!” Mindless eating…again! And OMG I’m AMAZED at how many food, exercise and diet/diet drug commercials are on TV (and now Lap Band ones too)! I guess this is the season for new diets and new resolutions. Can I just say here that I tip my hat to all of you who have gotten banded in the last few months, NO…I bow down to you...I think it would be particularly hard this time of year…I’d have to turn the TV off or get Tivo so I could skip all the commercials!   Anyway, I’m hoping that starting this ‘awareness’ now will help me some with the transition to the band…it can’t hurt, right? One of my biggest fears is the ‘head hunger’ thing and getting through that. As a pro-dieter (as in ‘very experienced’, not ‘in favor of’) I know first hand how hard that part can be…I can lose lots of weight, I just can’t keep it off. While dieting I always felt like I was starving and all I thought about was food, or tracking food, or weighing food, or planning meals with food, or buying food, or exercising so I could burn more calories so I could have another bite of food…you get the picture. I’m soooooo praying that the Lap Band will help extinguish that hunger and even more, the obsession. I’m hoping by next Christmas that I’ll have good restriction and food will no longer be in control…I’ll be about 6 mo. post-op then. See?...I’m also trying to get my head around how long it will probably take to get the band working for me! So there’s another thing I need to work on…realistic expectations. Time for new rules...like ‘Never eat anything bigger than your fist' (or is that too big)?
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12/17/08 DS Update

Wanted to let you all know I (Mr.SA had jury duty of all things) just got back from the hospital with DS (youngest). He's sleeping now. Had plenty of time to write my blog entry while in the waiting room (sorry I rambled my story today, but it kept me busy). Both procedures went smoothly and he did well with the anesthetic...just took him longer than most to wake up. One small problem and we'll wait and see what the biopsy shows...may not have results until the day after Christmas (I pray it's before). Sounds like regardless there will be more testing in the future, since they shouldn't have found anything at his age...and maybe more tests depending on biopsy. Thanks for the prayers all!
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12/23/08 ...and the children were nestled all snug in their beds.

I’ve collapsed into the recliner…for the moment. We’ve finished the shopping, the wrapping, and most of the baking. We held our annual “Poltergeist Feast”…let me explain, one year over Christmas break we made a huge Chinese meal which involves all of us chopping side by side and production line wrapping egg rolls and lots of wok cooking..well, the original “Poltergeist” movie just happened to be playing on TV that year. Ever since then my DD has insisted this become a Christmas break tradition complete with watching “Poltergeist” (really weird I know…can you tell my kids love traditions?). My DD and I even had time to make a few extra ornaments for our exchange tomorrow as we watched “White Christmas”. Let me just say here, it’s nice to have another girl in the house who appreciates a great old musical…I’ve been in this “boys club” for too long. Shhhh don’t tell…DD and I have secretly conspired to hit the Redbox over break for all the ‘chick flicks’ I’ve been waiting to see. Seven layer bars are now in the oven and my Fab 4 are playing Sequence (I’m sitting this one out as it’s a team game, but I’m up for Trivial Pursuit next). It’s nice to have everyone home. I’m starting to realize that we may not have too many of these years left with just our gang, so I’m trying to appreciate it all the more now. Happy Holidays all!
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1/26/09 Total Eclipse of the Heart

So this morning was my pre-op Cardiac MRI. I was downtown at AGH (hospital) early and after muddling through registration I finally navigated my way through the halls to the right elevator. The hospital must have had a million additions to it over the years…it’s like being a rat in a maze..you know, lab rat…fitting.:cheatfree: I finally found myself in the bowels of the earth with no one else around and found the two solid doors that read ‘Cardiac MRI’ waiting room...my luck, they were locked…just about the time I was questioning if I'd made a mistake and came the wrong day I found another door down the hall. Apparently I was the first appointment of the day and the receptionist thought she’d unlocked the door – so apologetic! The people there couldn’t have been nicer. I got changed, hooked up to the equipment and then onto the MRI bed…ready to start. Let me tell you, I had a brain MRI done this fall at a different place as a clearance for putting me on medicine for my migraines (which have mostly disappeared…fabulous!). It was quite the adventure…they had me lay on a bed, then WHAT”S THIS? Without a word they snapped a plastic mask over my face (I felt like Hannibal)…no instructions, no panic button…just “Hold still. This should take about 10 min.” Out they went. That’s it! Suddenly the noises start and the bed moves…WTFlip?:cheatfree: Why am I moving? Just when I got used to one noise it would stop…ok…WHIRL, CLUNK, WHIZ…bed moving!:eek: Yea…lay still?? Are you kidding me? How can you lay still when this cacophony of sounds keeps startling me…and couldn’t you warn a girl that the bed will keep moving?!! Thank God there wasn’t a panic button, and only my head and chest went into the machine, and that it only lasted 10 minutes! Geez…give people some warning! So I went this morning with some trepidation. They asked me if my blood pressure is ‘always that high?’ (yea, and I’m on meds). The Tech was so sweet and started telling me about everything that would happen (this is new), but I panicked a little when she said it would take about 45 min. I could hardly handle 10 min. how was I going to make it through 45??!! Now this is different…“pick a radio station and here are your headphones to drown out those awful noises”…smart!...and “I’ll be talking to you and telling you when to breath and when to hold your breath and you’ll hear me through the headphones.”…and the best part “Here’s a ball to squeeze if you need to come out.”…YAY…‘a PANIC BUTTON!’...oh, whoops I just said that out loud!:Banane37: The Tech laughed and said, “Well, yes, but we don’t like to call it that as it gives the wrong connotation and might scare people!” OK, lay down, eyes closed…I’m thinking “Go to your Happy Place, go to your Happy Place” and into the tunnel the bed goes. Now, I’ve got to say my hips and my arms were squished a bit against the walls of the tunnel the whole time…and I’m big, but I’m not enormous…I can now see why some here say they had to do this with their arms above their heads (I feel for you!). The music is playing and the Tech starts giving me my breathing instructions with her most soothing voice “In, Out, In, Out, Hold, Breath.” She warned me when the bed would move and the music drowned out a lot of the noise. After awhile I calmed down,:Banane37: just in time for Bonnie Tyler’s “Total Eclipse of the Heart” to start playing on the headphones:lol:…it was so fitting that I almost started laughing…almost.:iagree: P.S. Got my computer back tonight…all better!
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11/13/08 Supercalafragolisticexpia lidocious!

What a great day! I’m on cloud nine…or at least 8.75!!! I went to the third hospital's seminar this morning and it was great! I turned my first big corner in this process! It was a great seminar; whole section devoted to INSURANCE, with an actual INSURANCE EXPERT- can you believe they exist?…I thought it was an urban legend! It was like finding the holy grail! I talked to the insurance gal and she assured me I’ll get approved. Whoo Hoo!! She said my insurer is the best insurance to have for this here…and she said they have “Actual LIVE people on the other end of the phone.” I wonder what the other ones have “DEAD people”??…serves them right…insurance people…putting me through all this…oh, that’s right, my insurance peeps are still alive…good thing…they need to live long enough to give me that elusive final approval!!! Then we’ll getm’!   My surgeon had a great presentation and was wonderful (even gave us a copy of the whole presentation, now there’s an idea!)! OK, now tell me if I’m going to die in surgery? Let me explain; he came with his little ducklings (4 interns) following. Poor guy couldn’t get his PowerPoint presentation to work at the beginning, so after about 5 min. of trying he turned working on it over to an intern while he talked to us. Two min. later Duckling no. 3 had it working….I couldn’t help myself…I blurted… “I want that guy for my surgery!” I’m hoping the Dr. didn’t hear me…but the sniggers around me didn’t help. If I die you’ll know why, and Doc, let me clarify my statement…I meant as an intern, not as my Dr.! My Doc rocks!   My only regret today was my husband was traveling for business. He just got home and I was telling him about my day---he was so happy for me. We kept talking and I mentioned the diet/exercise plan...he said "6 months?!!! I thought it was 6 weeks??!!!" LOL...didn’t he just sit (or sleep) through the other two seminars with me?!!…he means well!   So its been a (sing it with me........you know you want to) Supercalafragolisticexpialidocious Day!!
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1/10/09 Top (Healthy) Chefs

Tonight I spent cooking. Yes, I said cooking. Stop laughing! I know you are tuned in by now to my dislike of cooking. I outed myself with my funny stories (HERE). And yes, like I’ve said, I CAN cook, I made a whole turkey dinner for Christmas with many side dishes and it was perfect. I just choose to not cook unless I have to. I think the only reason I love to bake is because the baked goods last longer than a day. I hate when you spend hours cooking a meal and then it’s gone…over and done with in mere minutes…sometimes to an appreciative audience, sometimes not. Maybe it’s the artist in me…when I create something, besides the enjoyment of the process, I’ll have to admit it’s the appreciation of all that hard work that makes it worthwhile, and in art that appreciation can last forever. Call me selfish, but I love a little appreciation. I want oooh’s and aaaah’s. There’s too little of that with cooking…lot’s of time, not much enjoyment of the process, little appreciation, non-lasting…that just doesn’t add up for me.   So tonight when my daughter suddenly decided we had to cook something special for her last home cooked dinner before returning to college, I inwardly groaned. When she started looking up recipes online, the groans became a moan in my head…there was no way she’d pick something with ingredients I already have. That meant a trip to the grocery store, in the midst of a snow/sleet storm. We braved the slush and went out, returning to my ‘Boys Club + the boyfriend’ all enjoying football on the couch.   DD had picked the recipes for her favorite meal at Olive Garden; Parmesan encrusted tilapia, steamed squash, and linguine with garlic butter. Yes, it could have been harder, ie. Lasagna, but since DH eats no seafood (his parents never had it at home, so he never developed a taste for it), we also had to make parmesan encrusted chicken breasts. Now get this, I actually had fun with the process! Yep, standing there being my daughter’s sous chef was actually fun. I poured the wine, tied the aprons, drank the wine, got the water boiling, drank the wine, chopped the squash, drank the wine, prepped the meats, drank the wine, poured more wine, and watched as she coated the meats. We had a good time, and a lovely meal.   I love that my kids like to cook. Like, I’ve said before, my Mom hated us being in the kitchen. Who can blame her with five kids running around. As great a cook as Mom is, her 4 daughters and 1 son suck at it. Three of us hate cooking, my brother loves only grilling, and one sister is an OK cook, but only because she does cook all the time. Anyway, I’m not sure if my kids like to cook because I hate it so much they had to learn to fend some for themselves, or because I’m just a great mom and I let them dabble in the kitchen from a young age. I’m choosing to believe the latter. From the time they were little I always let them help with cooking, especially baking. I’ve ‘let them’ make their own lunches for school as they got old enough. Or maybe it was actually when they got embarressed by my lunches with those notes I always wrote on their napkins, and the puzzle cut PB&J sandwiches (like I’ve been saying, I have to be creative, no ‘cut in fourths’ sandwiches for MY kids).   I did teach them, as has DH, all the basics of cooking. But I’m the one who passed on my love of fine dining and giving everything a try, at least once. I’m a foodie, or more accurately an eatie, because I love good food, but not the cooking part. Besides no seafood DH won’t eat anything on the bone (also passed down from his parents, I don’t get that one as they are a Dr. and a nurse so it can’t be gross to them, but maybe that makes it grosser to them…who knows?) and he also has some issues with textures of some foods. We also had to buy leather couches with no cording/piping because of that texture on his legs (try finding them, I dare you…about the 10th store I started calling him ‘the princess and the pea’), so I think he has lots of ‘texture issues’…it’s just weird.   It’s fun as they get older, and my two oldest are becoming adults, to watch them do the things they enjoy. My kids love all kinds of food; they can all crack a crableg like nobody’s business. DS1 ordered the seafood platter in Normandy and I watched with interest and pride as he attacked about a dozen kinds of ‘critters’ including the usual crawfish, muscles, etc. and even a sea urchin. DS1 has also taken on my love of baking. I’ll randomly find him in the kitchen baking a cake or cookies to take to school to give out to all his friends (makes him a very popular friend). He would secretly love to go to culinary or pastry school, but after selecting engineering I consoled him with the fact that he can always take cooking classes for fun. In Paris I had set up his taking a pastry class at the Ritz Escoffier (better thought of than le Cordon Bleu to Parisians) for his 18th birthday…he had a personal translator and he loved every minute. DD loves to cook and proudly says she’s the best and healthiest food cook of any of the college girl she knows. DS1 is just starting out, but he’s gotten very good at eggs…he loves my mom’s sunny side up eggs and has gradually perfected her technique of the perfect temperature and slowly basting the yolk. He’s also working on my ‘Willie May’ scrambled eggs…she was the cook at my sorority house in college and I watched her closely every morning as I sat in the kitchen while she cooked her wonderful eggs; butter first, pour the hot butter into the eggs and mix in, more butter in the pan, then finally pouring the mixture into the frying pan to cook them up…what’s not to love with all that butter. I’ve promised next weekend to make my Mom’s famous egg casserole with him (sausage, bread crumbs, you get the picture).   I hope their love of food doesn’t ever become a weight issue for them as it has for me (they’re all super thin). Hopefully, my getting thinner will be a good example of having a normal relationship with food, even good food. I think that’s why at this point, I don’t intend to be one of those who eats the rest of my life like I’m on a horrid diet. That doesn’t mean we won’t try to eat healthy, but I don’t intend to be one of those banders who’s eating mostly protein drinks three years later. I know that works for some, but I know that won’t work for me, it hasn’t in the past and I can’t live that way forever…and what kind of example is that for my kids…personally, I think that could cause them to have more food issues then seeing me fat. I’d rather eat way less of something good, then more of something awful. I want that normal relationship (albeit way smaller portions) with good, healthy food.   I know with this banding process, it will be up to me to take the lead on healthier choices. I’ve already been collecting ‘bander’ recipes here and there. Like I said, it will be fun to watch what kind of cooks they become when they’re adults. Maybe I’ll be going to their homes for dinner…my Top (Healthy) Chefs.
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1/8/09 Support and a Silver Lining

January seems to be the time for all kinds of cutbacks…cutbacks of the calorie kind and now, in this economy, corporate cutbacks. Like many of you, we’ve also been hit by that fear. DH knew that the company he works for wouldn’t be immune and changes were coming soon. He’s in a key position so we’re hopeful, but we also know to plan. We talked through all the possible implications for us and yes, I worried silently, and perhaps selfishly (yes, this is the new selfish me, I’m finally ready to put me first this year, and yes, that’s still guilt you hear), that we won’t have the same great insurance when it comes time for my surgery this Spring. All my plans may be for naught. I’ve been trying to keep the stress levels at home at a minimum, but with 3 teens, that’s sometimes easier said than done.   DH's company announced yesterday that MAJOR cutbacks are planned and we’re talking MAJOR, not many details, but the amount of $$$ that will be coming out of this is huge…fear is reality. He’s been talking about what a grim atmosphere it is at work. I can relate to what he’s experiencing. I made it through a period of major layoffs about 15 years ago while working for a Fortune 500…at company headquarters where employees families had all worked there for many generations going way back…layoffs for people like that was more than grim, they felt betrayed; like their family was turning them out…it was painful. I also know that change is inevitable and life brings tests for us sometimes and ‘what doesn’t kill us only makes us stronger’. You see, DH was laid off once before, shortly after we were married. I worked two full time jobs for over a year while he looked for work and worked part time. It was hard, but we made it through. DH reinvented himself in the world of business, as did I (from teacher), and he worked hard to get his MBA over 8 years at night. Like I said, tests can make you stronger…so no matter what is to come, we’ll make it through.   Now DH is obviously thin as are my kids, so relating to my level of desperation that has led me to WLS is hard for him to truly understand. He’s seen me lose the weight and gain it back, more times than I can count…he’s seen my struggle. I’ve shared with him as much as I can about my journey and I know he understands how important this is to me, but other than coming to meetings, he’s had a hard time knowing how to support me in this. Well, he came home tonight and told me of the latest updates at work…we should know what will happen with jobs in February...He had gathered all the information on the severance package (just in case) and we talked through all the details…but do you know what came next? All I can say is support comes in all kinds of packages..and I love my DH. He had also looked into what would happen with our insurance…he announced that no matter what happens we’ll still have our same insurance when it’s time for my surgery…my new-oh-so-selfish side was so happy!
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1/16/09 The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly! (pics)

The Good: I DID IT! Did you see?! There it is! I FINALLY created an avatar! And GET THIS…I also MADE MY OWN TICKER!!!!! Nope, not from a ticker site…from scratch!!! Go look below…yep, I did that! With pics even!!! Can you believe it??!! I happened upon a cool ticker on a WLS site which showed 10 pound bowling balls for weight loss…I thought that was such a cool analogy (and the creator of it already lost 11 bowling balls!). So I asked and she patiently helped me with the drawing program (Marella, you’re a saint!). Don’t ask me how to do it as I spent a day and a half (more about that later) and I still don’t know…trial and error, but with my art background it was a fun challenge. Now, I didn’t want to be a complete copy-cat so I tried to think of something else that was also about 10 pounds. It came to me…remember my family joke/blog ‘Never eat anything bigger than your head!’? Well, I googled it and apparently the average weight of a human head is 10 pounds…perfect, 10 pound heads and an atypical ticker, like me. I only wished I had more pics of me to chose from…apparently our scanner is out of sync, so all I could use were pics that were already on CD’s…so there’s my face on the ticker 1 1/2 years ago at my parent’s 50th, about 20 pounds lighter; and me on the avatar, outside, glass of wine in hand about 3 1/2 years and 30-40 pounds lighter…but I look about the same on my top half as it all went to my a$$; except Mr.SA (Skinny A$$) says a little weight in the face, and the 4 years of aging, and the temporary brunette hair that will soon be back to blonde (although I’m enjoying my extra brain cells), and some bangs now…but other than that, it’s me. I’m so proud!!! Read on if you want to know why this was an EXTRA challenge!   The Bad: I officially HATE computers. Yes, my computer is STILL down, so I haven’t been on much. Remember? My daughter closed the power cord in the recliner cutting the cord, right after Christmas. Well, after ordering two Chinese replacements from different stores and waiting for each to arrive, neither one worked (“Unsupported” and lots of beeping, whatever that means). Mr.SA finally ordered me a Dell one…to arrive this weekend. I’m not holding out much hope. So I’d been using the kids/home one or Mr.SA’s work laptop at night. Then OMG his computer and our home one both ‘caught something’; yep even with the firewall system we have. Apparently they had to bring in an outside computer guy at DH work to fix it (their co. guys couldn’t…yikes) and the geek even he had to take the computer back to his co. to get help. In the process they lost everything on DH computer and it’s still not fixed. Our home computer is still ‘bugged’ and about every third screen you switch to it knocks you off and a new screen comes up that is a fake Microsoft or Google screen (it has three different ones) telling you to click on it because the website you’re on is a potential threat. The computer geek tells us this ‘bug’ is nothing you can avoid. Apparently Microsoft headquarters got the same one. You never had to click on anything to start it, it just comes in with websites or emails (wish I knew how) and the bug is just trying to sell you something, it’s not spyware…small condolence, as that’s also the reason they can’t prosecute these hackers…laws haven’t caught up with this yet (they all ought to be taken out back and shot). If I hadn’t been so motivated to get this ticker done since Marella had started the process of helping me, I would have gone nuts…it took me an hour to do what I could normally do in 15 min….VERY AGRIVATING! So who knows what will happen when we take the home computer in, and I’m sure even IF the new power cord comes and IF this third try works this weekend on my laptop if I should risk catching this bug? If you don’t hear from me for awhile, you’ll know I’m still in computer he!!.   And The Ugly: Tuesday I had Mr.SA take my ‘before’ pics finally. Now that we replaced the broken digital camera at Christmas, I was just waiting for a good time. He was off Tues. for the surgeon’s consult so I did it. They’re horrific (or at least the ones I've seen)!!! NO, I’m not sharing them…maybe when I have some good ‘afters’…maybe…or maybe not. Remember I’m the one who’s been running from the camera all these years and could hardly find a pic of myself for an avatar, so to see the whole me in something tight…yeah, remember I was debating the range of those before pics…from the ‘underwear girl’ (no way) to the all dolled up in the camouflage-the-fat clothes. I decided to go with something near the underwear end of the range and a step up from ‘Biggest Loser’ clothes (my legs and belly are so pasty white and dimpled, so NO). But I want to really see the changes…tight spandex sweats and a tight tank top…shows enough. I remembered to get the flabby upper arm shots and just the face pics. Mr.SA kept saying as he looked at the pics after every pose… ‘Man, that doesn’t even look like you. If someone asked me if that was my wife I would have said no.’ Now I’m not sure if he was being honest and I’ve just been such a good fat-camoflager all these years (yes, even, or especially around him) that he was truly surprised, or if he was just trying to cheer me up as there was no denying these pics could star in a horror film. Oh well, the ‘before’ ones are supposed to look bad right? I still haven’t brought myself to look at the full body shot ones yet…I need to do that…I need the same dose of reality poor Mr.SA got. Yep, I still think I looked huge at 160# 8 years ago, and I still think I look exactly the same today, 80+# heavier…there’s something wrong with my self image…those ‘before’ and hopefully ‘afters’ may be just what I need to build my body image and acceptance as I go through the changes…here’s hoping!
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1/7/09 Tracking and Measuring-Yikes!

As per my PCP's request I've started my food and exercise log today. I do see the benefit in this short term. In the past keeping logs has helped me with accountablity and you also learn a lot along the way. I plan to keep this up until I'm on the other side of the band and feel comfortable with what I'm allowed to eat.   My goal is not to have to do this long term though. As I've said before I find tracking every calorie, for me, becomes just trading one kind of food obsession for another. There's no way for me to not feel like I'm on a diet and being deprived some how while I'm doing this time consuming task of measuring every bite, writing it down, and entering it in. My food goal is to be on a new lifestyle change NOT ANOTHER DIET, to eat mainly what my family is eating with a few tweaks, minus the bad carbs and sweets, and obviously a whole lot less. I'm hoping that with my previous experiences with calorie counting that the learning curve post band will be easier (I'm talking just calorie counting and categories of foods not all those other things I'll need to learn). I know I'll need to go back to tracking anytime I'm not getting the results I want...it's always helpful then.   So today I signed up for My Fitness Pal; nice site very easy to navigate and people answered my questions within minutes (thanks V-Queen from LBT). It was even easy to add extra things (beyond the default) I want to track like fiber, sugar and some additional body measurements.   OK, stop right there. Sure, I know I'm a 'scale whore', yep even when I'm fat I look, but who the heck tracks their measurements as they're gaining weight? NOT ME! I think I was in college fitness class the last time I took my measurements...and I was pencil thin and teaching aerobics classes at the time...Let me just say standing there in my underwear with the measuring tape trying to figure out where to measure my waist was a humbling experience. I'm not one who carries the majority of my weight out front (now the rear is another story), but there is no longer a waist...Do you measure right under the boob line where I'm smallest, the belly button line, just above where I still have a little indent of what little remains of my waist on the sides? In the spirit of getting this over with as soon as possible I picked the largest spot and moved on. I'm pretty sure my current thigh measurement is about the same as my waist measurment in college...great.   My new computer cord came and it doesn't work...so no access to my computer still. I've been waiting for this to load my new pedometer software. Oh well. Tomorrow I'll look at the exercise tracker on Fitness Pal. Wonder what I'll have to measure for that one? Stride? Yes, I can handle that.
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1/4/09 Come to the dark side...

My DD and I decided it would be fun to color and highlight each others hair over the break. In the spirit of having my 'girls club' established at home again, I went along with it willingly. I am now a brunette for the first time in my life. I promise to post a pic soon, now that we've got a digital camera to replace the old broken one. Only problem is I'm using Mr.SA's laptop as my DD cut the cord on mine:angry: while borrowing it and closed the recliner on it...so computer access is limited until my new cord arrives from eBay.   Anyhoo...I've always been a natural blonde, up until the time I started coloring my hair that is (I don't ever want to know what's really there now). I think my brain just grew two sizes:laugh:...ha, I wish!:thumbup: I thought a change of hair color would go right along with my other big changes coming this year...let's just say I hope my other decisions are better made, or maybe, like other things I just need to get used to the new me!:thumbdown:
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5/30/09 On the Ice

It's the start of the NHL Stanley Cup Finals tonight and this town is rockin'. It's a rematch...with a new ending! Go Pens!  
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