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About this blog

THE SWEET SPOT My journal on my expedition to Bandlandia and my adventures there. I plan to stay forever (been to Onederland many times, but I never stayed long). Join me!:see

Entries in this blog

 

3/5/09 Blonde Moments

I’m losing it…really. My kids call it ‘old-timers’, DH calls it ‘brain-farts’, I call it ‘blonde moments’. Now that I’m back from the Dark Side HERE, I swear I lost brain cells going back from my first venture as a brunette to my natural blonde (OK, maybe a few grays are under there, but I’ll never see them). I was on the computer most of the day yesterday, not here, well I did check in often, but I was on a tracking site for diet/exercise re-entering all my foods and info. ‘Re-entering’ you ask? OH yea. I set up my account for the site at the beginning of January (after asking on LBT which site is best), then my computer broke and I also found out I didn’t need to track anything, and since I didn’t have to lose weight (grr insurance #248 x) I hadn’t been back.   Since my decision to start dieting this week, I went to my bookmarks and went back to the site to start tracking. My account had been deleted so I had to set a new one up, I was guessing they get deleted after a certain period and it had been months. OK, now on to tracking! Quaker Oatmeal for breakfast…hmm, not there…on the one day I used this in January, I thought I’d entered that. Where’s the help button? Can’t find ‘help’, so I’ll go to those message boards…the people there were really helpful setting up my account in January. Can’t find the message boards…and there are all these ads to upgrade your service to the PC or even higher level Premium Version …for a cost $$$. Hmmm…I wonder if you now have to buy into the first level at least to get to the message boards. So I spend the day entering my information, exercises, goals, and had to custom add each food in, which took FOREVER when you’re entering everything on the box nutrition information and dividing out the amount you ate. After day 2 of doing all this extra work, I got SO frustrated with it all that I posted a thread on LBT asking for help from site users talking about the site changes and my questions. I didn’t get any replies.   I was getting ready to start entering info. yesterday morning when I decided to find my original thread on LBT where I’d asked which tracking site is best. My plan was to PM some of the people who had recommended that site and ask them my questions (again, no one was replying to my new ‘help’ thread on LBT).   Dear GAWD, major blonde moment! You got it…for two days I’d been on the wrong site *cheeks burning with embarrassment*. I’d been on Fitday and the site I wanted was MyFitnessPal (which I hadn’t bookmarked). Yep, my account was still there, the message board hadn’t disappeared. I’m losing it.   Click [ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7xYkiN4-gl8]YouTube - America Still Appreciates A Good Dumb Blond Joke[/ame]
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3/4/09 LB Picasso

The men aren't actually reading this, so for you ladies...As I’ve told you, I have the option of selecting either band type and I also have the option of selecting my port site. I told you about my surgeon’s consult in Jan. where, after doing my research, I told my doc that I’ve selected the LB and then we discussed my port site. I’ll remind you I selected a left of center, between my belly button line and my ribs…no third boob for this gal…3 boobs worked for Picasso, but not me…with my C-cup boobs, it would be the only one left at goal weight.   So on our way home from the consult I announced to DH that I intended to mark my port site on my tummy before surgery…he just chuckled…he’s used to ‘my kind of crazy’ (But now I have those papers from the Psych saying I’m not! So there!). My doc doesn’t get many requests for a different port site but it’s important to me (bad left side so I sleep on my right, and I’m right handed) and his default is the right side, so I don’t want him to forget (I have enough trouble with sleep). I’ve been thinking on and off about my tummy artwork (that’s what we artists do) and how I could make it funny without insulting my doc that he’d forget (he DID tell me to remind him).   I was reading some blogs lately that got me thinking; Banded Ben’s surgery date and trying to come up with a joke on the operating table so he could escape…too late, he was out. So, I was thinking maybe I could write a joke, or a funny poem on my belly to point out my port placement…welcome to ‘my kind of crazy’…yes, this is what goes on in my head. Wendytip’s post yesterday about people’s incision photos on LBT (I agree, eeewww), got me commenting about making different ‘connect the dot’ pictures with my incisions and washable markers and posting them here (NOT). But maybe I can do a dot picture for my port site?   So, why am I making this confession and sharing this now? I had second thoughts…what if the Sharpie isn’t sterile, or it messes them up and they refuse to do surgery because I wrote on myself? I’m not crazy enough yet to call my surgeon and ask. Today “The Doctors” was on as I was doing the laundry…the plastic surgeon on the panel was talking about how a Sharpie is his best friend for surgery! Hey yea, we’ve all seen those Dr. 90210 shows where they’re marking all over the woman’s bodies with a Sharpie. I’d forgotten about that! So I ran to the TV to listen. The question was about whether a Sharpie is sterile or not...WOW…my very question! Apparently Sharpie’s have a lot of alcohol in them, and even if they weren’t sterile the Betadine they smear all over you sterilizes everything. OK, I’m going for it! Now I’ve got artwork to plan! My practical jokes always backfire on me, so I hardly ever attempt them…they’ll either think I’m nuts or laugh…we’ll see what happens…if I wake up with a third boob, it backfired.
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3/3/09 Better Late than Never

As you know, I've only had to lose a little weight on my 6 month diet (OK, stop cursing at my ‘plight’, pity-party going on here). This weekend I started thinking about how I’m now close to the end, and I’m terrified of going straight from barely a diet to a pre-op diet with no preparation. I’ve done my research, but I haven’t been able to put much into practice.   So here’s what I decided yesterday at my 5th Monthly weigh-in…I’m going to start a more strict diet…Woot! OK, it’s the ONLY time I’ve ever been happy to diet…ever! I’ve never been one of those dieters that goes into a new diet feeling happy about it. That doesn’t mean I wasn’t enthusiastic and optimistic, and I wouldn’t say miserable, just not ‘happy’. You know those people…they’re at their 50th WW meeting still happy to be on the diet, even if they’ve only lost 1/8 of their excess weight. Not me…I’m enthusiastic, but I’m the one who by the first WW meeting has already plugged into my calendar how many pounds I’ll lose each week and when I’ll be at goal so I can stop the diet (and I do just that). Yeah, I get that’s probably why I’ve never kept the weight off. I did GREAT at a few diets I’ve been on and have lost major weight, and did fair at all the others, so I can follow a diet, but not for one moment was it a happy experience. You’d think in all the hundreds of pounds I’ve lost over the years would have created a few happy diet moments…nope…even when I’d lost a ton…I felt like I was starving the whole time, so happy about dieting…nope.   My ‘body dysmorphic disorder’ (found that one on the internet) doesn’t help either. For some reason even with major weight loss I’ve never felt great about it. Eight years ago I was on Atkins and lost down to 160 for my youngest sister’s wedding I was in…I HATE my photos from her wedding…I think I look fat. Here I am about 90 pounds heavier than that, and I feel exactly the same...I don’t ‘see’ any difference, and I don’t feel any fatter than I did then, so actually, I guess you’d say I see myself as thinner than I am now. I’ve got plans to work on this…it’s called a camera…if I can see the changes, I’ll embrace the changes.   So yesterday I started the LB rules/diet. By the time I get to my pre-op diet, in about 6 weeks, I’ve made the decision NOT to call this a diet. Diet’s have an ‘end point’ for me, and the Lap Band doesn’t, so I’ll officially be starting a lifestyle change. I started using my tracking site yesterday and I had trouble even setting a date for my goal weight, because I was back to ‘end point’, so I gave myself 2 whole years from my surgery to lose the excess weight. My plan is to set more aggressive short term goals, so when I lose faster than that graph I can always feel good about it. I’ve also made the decision to eventually eat as ‘normally’ as possible so I don’t feel deprived. Oh, I’ll follow all the rules (remember I’m a good dieter), but I’m hoping at this point not to be one of those Lap Banders whose still drinking daily protein shakes and counting every calorie a year out. How in the world does that get you away from a food obsession? That’s not a way I can live, and I need a lifestyle change…something I can live the rest of my life with. I get that I’ll be doing whatever works at the time, so for now, while I need to learn all the rules, I am counting everything; my measurements, calories, carbs, fiber, protein, fluid intake, timing of fluids before/after meals, exercise, and I’m measuring the food amounts so I’ll know what ‘a cup of food’ looks like for post-band. I’m just happy to be starting these changes now…FINALLY!  
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3/2/09 Another Month Bites the Dust!

So this morning we were out and at PT by 7:30am; upper body is doing great, lower back is…fair. I skipped out early on my last PT exercise so I could come home to weigh-in at home before the actual weigh-in…always such an ordeal. This outfit's the perfect weight! Month 5 weigh in...Nurse was there “On the scale”…and up I went…242 ...no loss, no gain. A different CRNP came in and I gave her my sample ‘Letter of Medical Clearance and Medical Necessity’ with my information on it so they’ll have the next month to type their own up/change it and have it ready for me at my final visit. That’s the plan anyway…the only thing between me and submitting for approval now is the last monthly weigh-in and the letter from my PCP. If these are done the first few days in April, the surgeon’s office will set a tentative surgery date and I’ll get to go to my pre-op class (held twice a month). As my Dad would say ‘There’s a snowballs chance in Hell’ that I’ll get my band in April, but I haven’t given up hope yet (eternal optimist, remember). I’ve got a ton of company coming May 1st for DD’s college graduation (hers will be a weekend with our huge extended family, but no enormous party) and in a perfect world I’d have my band and be at least a week out by then. If not, I’ll have to sandwich it in between the two graduations…DS’s HS graduation is the beginning of June…HUGE party for that one with TONS of work prior, so I’d rather be well healed before that one, but we don’t always get what we want…and NO, that isn’t a complaint…just a wish…a girl can dream...   I’ll take my band….in a box, with a fox, in a house, with a mouse, here and there, ANYWHERE!
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2/28/09 60 Days Until 50

*NOTE: Well, now it’s 58 days actually. I've tried posting this the last two nights and gave up trying to get access to this site after hours of trying (apparently the site capacity is maxed out), but that’s another post entirely.   If you don’t know yet, I’m turning 49 7/8 this year. I’ve promised to work my way up to calling it, what it is, by my birthday. See? There in the title? That’s a huge step in the right direction, right? Well, if I say it’s a huge step, it is!   I’m not sure why 40 didn’t bother me, I thought it would, but it didn’t. I’m not one to hide my age either (I’m stating the obvious here again, aren’t I?). But this one is FREAKING ME OUT!!! What’s so scary about 5-0?…it’s a milestone, a landmark, the BIG 5-0, half a CENTURY for crying out loud, you’re definitely on the downward spiral of life even if you do make it to that Willard Scott Smuckers birthday, it’s midlife (you hope), and don’t you remember when your parents turned 50, and how OLD you thought they were? Let’s face it, when AARP sends you more mail then Victoria’s Secret you’re on your way out. Can I just say here, STOP SENDING ME MAIL AARP!!! I’LL LET YOU KNOW WHEN I’M READY TO JOIN!!!!   I had pretty much decided that I was NOT going to turn ‘that age’ this year. I’m not 5-0 in my head, so what’s the point. I certainly don’t act like I’m 5-0. But lately, my body is starting to act like it is. The past few years I can’t tell you how many times I’ve said that I felt like I was circling the drain. I was feeling, well, OLD!   I’d been puzzling over this attitude for awhile now, because it’s not like me. What’s up with me? I’m definitely a ‘cup half full’ person. DH calls me the eternal optimist. After pondering some more, I think I’m figuring this out. You know why? Because things ARE changing. I see that I was feeling bad about my age, because I was FEELING it. After my ‘Moment’ (don’t think I’ve shared that one here yet, but I’ll save that for another blog)…you know that moment when you decided that you were actually going to at least ‘look’ at that ‘extreme thing’ called WLS?...Then I decided on the LB, and that was a HUGE change in the right direction. I decided that this year was going to be about ME for a change. I’ve never put myself at the top of the list, let’s face it, I’ve never even put myself ON the list. I decided to make this my year for getting healthy. I made a pack with myself to do this to my best ability and see what happens. My year of taking care of me…so it’s a birthday present for myself, of the best kind.   It hasn’t been easy to do actually, and that part surprised me. I’ve always been know as a person who embraces change…in business, I was know as a ‘change agent’ and it was something I was very good at. It’s easy to feel optimistic about everything else in life, but yourself?...when you’re feeling sick, tired, and old?...but I kept to my promise to myself…it certainly hasn’t been without major moments of guilt for putting myself first…and I’m sure there’s much more of that to come. I’ve made myself re-look at my surgeries that failed that I’d given up on (shhh…stress incontinence…bladder sling and hysterectomy) and even knowing I’m the only one my doc has ‘ever had the surgery fail for’; now I’ve gone through re-testing and am scheduled to see another specialist in March. I’ve made myself ask for help about my osteoarthritis that has given me constant pain for the past 10 years, and doctors have told me “it’s age”; so I thought there was nothing that could help; and now Physical Therapy is actually helping me. I’ve chosen to get the LB, and now, by many unforeseen circumstances, it’s looking like it’s going to happen within a week of my birthday. Coincidence?   I’m seeing changes that I thought would never happen. So now I have new hope. I’m already not feeling as old anymore. If I can make changes I thought would never happen, then maybe the LB will work for me and make more changes I thought could never happen. So maybe turning the BIG ONE this year won’t be so bad after all. It might be a year to celebrate! …baby steps…I’m getting there.
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3/1/09 Cake Anyone?

In preparation for my Big 5-0 birthday this year in April, I thought I'd take a look at some possibilities for birthday cakes...so many choices...what do you think?   I could pretend I'm 5 again... or 12... "][/url] I'm not quite sure what this is an homage to...It looks like an Austin Powers jacket (I guess I was a child of the 60's), a Crazy OLD Cat Lady, and maybe two of me at different stages in childhood so I can get depressed about getting old...but I DO garden... "][/url] Or...since I'll be really missing my carbs post-band... "][/url] Or maybe the real thing... "]"][/url][/url] I am so NOT joining the Red Hat Society...Red SHOES, maybe... "][/url] ...and I could wear my red shoes to Shake my Grove Thing! MMmm...that disco ball looks SO appetizing... "][/url] Well, I certainly will NEED to be doing a lot of this post band... "][/url] I think this is an Over the Hill cake, apparently I'll need a pretzel ladder to get over (that will never hold me)...but it certainly doesn't look too appetizing, does it?   Or maybe this just sums it up... Come to think of it, I've never been much of a cake person...and I'll probably be getting my band the same week, so cake is probably out...maybe this is what I'll do...hmmm...I won't have lost that much by then...I wonder if this comes in a triple layer?
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2/24/09 It's Fat Tuesday!

Is it a holiday for fat people like me? Well, kinda...coming from my Catholic upbringing, I can tell you it's all about the last indulgence before abstinence and fasting...Fat Tuesday before Ash Wednesday and the beginning of Lent. All of you Lap Banders who have participated in a "Last Supper" or better yet a whole "Bucket List" of special meals before banding should be able to relate. "Fat Tuesday" translates to "Mardi Gras" in French and is the last day of Carnival (it's also called Shrove Tuesday and Pancake Day). So party it up...just don't indulge too much...or there'll have to be more abstinence and penance! Now where's that King Cake? King Cake: As part of the celebration of Mardi Gras, it is traditional to bake an oval cake in honor of the three kings - the King Cake. The shape of a King Cake symbolizes the unity of faiths. Each cake is made from twisted strands of cinnamon dough, topped with icing decorated in the traditional Mardi Gras colors: purple represents justice, green represents faith and gold represents power. A small baby, symbolizing the baby Jesus, is baked into each cake and whoever finds the baby (like the Kings) is rewarded with good luck. Val Kilmer partied it up in New Orleans this weekend as King Bacchus XLI on the Krewe of Bacchus' legendary Mardi Gras float. (Go Batman!)
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2/21/09 Potty Humor

(NOTE: Sorry for any disappearing pics before...I'm tech-challenged...hope they stay this time.)   DH wasn't feeling great last night...stomachache. So we went to bed last night around 11pm as I was started to get a stomachache too. Then the abdominal cramps started and they kept me awake. About midnight I ran to the bathroom (Master Bath, connected to our bedroom...this will be important later, so pay attention) and it felt like it was this far away..   ...dear Lord the seat is up and I almost fell in (again)!!! Sometimes I hate living with 3 boys in the house!!! Let's just say I was sitting on the throne and barfing into the trashcan (I'm good at multi-tasking) for at least an hour...and I used this much toilet paper...   and after awhile it felt like this (sandpaper)...     Let me preface this next part by telling you that I have given birth to three children and only with the last one did I take anything...an epidural (yes, it took me until the third to get smart, I'm stupid that way). I never came close to screaming or even complaining giving birth. I think I have a pretty high threshold of pain. Now, last night the abdominal cramps got so bad at one point that I was literally screaming at the top of my lungs. I seriously thought I needed to go to the hospital, and I said so, LOUDLY...VERY LOUDLY...it hurt that bad. I'm sure my neighbors next door heard me...but did DH sleeping just beyond the bathroom door (remember, it's connected to our bedroom) hear me...nope...he snores that loudly.   I think we (I use that term 'we' very loosely since I didn't see anyone else up last night) got food poisoning from the pizza DH picked up at Costco. I've been recovering today.   Yes, I got lots of "I didn't even hear you!" this morning...glad I wasn't actually dying. I'm now getting these stickers for my toilet...   NO, make that one of these...   and definitely one or two of these...
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2/20/09 Collections

We’re collectors; rusty antiques mostly. I blame my sickness on my parents (I just reminded Mom recently that everything’s their fault…my kids will blame me for whatever they want, so they’re fair game for me…LOL). But really, my parents drug us to antique stores and shows from the time I was little. I remember one particular trip to my Aunt/Uncle’s in New York where Mom and Dad hit the mother-load. We returned home in our station wagon with Mom, Dad, we five children, and a car load so full my youngest sister (little enough) sat with her head under the Grandmother clock, and my oldest sister and I took turns sitting with our heads through the rungs of the legs of a chair. We didn’t have seatbelts then…I don’t even want to think about what would have happened in an accident. See, it’s a serious contagious illness.   I always loved the Flea Markets and sometimes even the occasional Garage Sale. When DH and I started dating I introduced him to his first flea market…a big one…every Saturday morning in the summer at a local Drive-In Theater. He was hooked, so I guess he can blame me.   We didn’t have “2 nickels to rub together” so we started collecting things that were cheap and available. I took a liking to red-wooden handled kitchen tools from the 40’s-50’s (usually about 50 cents or more...I call it my 'rust collection') and DH gravitated to glass telephone insulators (his friend had a small collection), also about $1. It gave us something to ‘hunt’ for, which made it fun. Since those early years (I have several hundred tools hanging/on shelves in my kitchen…I do enjoy having my collections around me), I’ve moved on to other collections. I’m a gal who embraces change. I’ve collected baking pans, graniteware, wooden spools from mills, stoneware crocks, wooden typeset letters, and metal pie pans. I finally scored the elusive Frisbee pie pan a year ago….yes, that’s how Frisbees were invented; by the pie co. employees on their lunch hour in their parking lot.   For some strange reason I now like tiny wooden German figures and tiny houses/castle blocks. I think it has something to do with my love of Christmas melded with the fact that DH grew up (on an Army base) in Germany. I can’t wait to set them up someday under a tiny tree at Christmas. I’ve even moved on to some new (not antique) items…Polish pottery is my newest love.   DH has stuck by his beloved insulators…he’s now up to about 600 (yea, that's what I said). He’s dabbled in a few others…coins in his youth, bottle openers, rock/mineral specimens (he’s a geologist, no longer working in that field). But he’s always stuck by his insulators. I admire his tenacity (I'm fickle). Do you know there’s actually regional and national shows for insulator collectors? I know, I thought the same thing...it sounds like one step from a Star Wars convention (and don’t tell my boys they have these as my oldest loves his collection of Star Wars toys), but interestingly (to me it was), it’s not a nerdfest…there’s a cross-section of America/the World actually collecting everything. We’ve also filled our home with inexpensive primitive antique furniture and have stripped and refinished more furniture than anyone should in a lifetime. When we moved here my youngest was in Kindergarten and brought home a project the first week with a picture he’d drawn of our brand new home…his sentence below described our house as ‘Old Fashioned’ LOL.   My kids are now hooked too (yes, they’ll all blame me). When we took our family trip to Paris last year (DD studying abroad), we took them to an enormous flea market. The boys had a blast trying to make their purchases with the few French phrases they’d learned, and DD helping. I even found some red-handled kitchen tools, a piece of wooden typeset, and yes, DH found a glass insulator. We had the best time watching the kids and talking to the locals.     I swear there’s someone out there who collects anything you can possibly think of. Old bedpans?…I’m sure someone collects them…just check eBay. You see, it’s not as much about the collection as it is about the hunt (although it helps if you like what you’re collecting). You rarely find anyone who collects the same thing that you do, and you're probably better friends that way...especially when shopping, but the fact that you've found another 'collector' makes a bond all by itself. I’ve found you’re either a collector or you’re not, and it doesn’t matter whether it’s something new or old, it’s the hunt that draws us…those of us that live with this dreaded illness understand.
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2/19/09 None Upon Thars

I want a Star-Belly, and I want it NOW!!!     I’m getting impatient…yes, again. Patience has never been one of my virtues. This 6 month time warp in super slow-mo is starting to feel like Groundhog Day (and I’m in PA, so I should know). I’ve done my research and I feel prepared, I’ve chosen my type of band, and even my port site (sounds like I’m going on a cruise…I wish), I’m done with all the pre-op doc visits, I’m only allowed to lose 4 more pounds, and yet I’ve got 6 weeks left before I can even ‘submit for approval’ (at least that sounds like an optimistic phrase).     Maybe it’s this gloomy time of year…I wake up every day enthusiastic and ready and yet…no band…like I said, Groundhog Day. Can I just say for the 248th time…insurance rules are diabolical…DIABOLICAL I tell you!!!   I’m jealous of those with Stars upon thars…you Star-Bellies…now where’s that Sylvester McMonkey McBean and his very peculiar machine?!!    
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2/18/09 Twins?

Sorry I’ve been offline…life, ya know. I’ve been in more re-injury pain from my ‘dressing room incident’ but it’s finally getting a little better (PT is helping). DH is now going to PT three times a week also for his arm/neck (ice on the driveway fall). We’ve been going at different times and I didn’t see him this morning when he left as I was in the shower.   He came home to change as I was getting ready to head out the door to PT. He points to me and starts laughing hysterically…we had on identical red OSU T-shirts, black sweats, and white tennies. I guess this means we’ve been married too long as we’re starting to dress alike. Well, we were born on the same day, but that’s a story for another time (I'm just sayin'). You know how they say people start to look like their pets the longer they live together (is the same true with spouses)? …Well...My theory is when you start dressing the same as your spouse it’s time for the old-folks home ('cause you're probably doing it so you can remember who you're married to...or at least who you need to go home with)…and I’m not there yet. I’ll have to watch this as we’re going to start going to PT together Friday (and yes, the guy who greeted me at PT this morning noticed…D*@N, knew I should have run back in and changed my shirt!). Twins?
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2/14/09 Happy Valentine's Day!

OK, what can I give you for Valentine's Day? I already gave you Chocolate Man (the PERFECT man). Hmmm…I know! The gift of love! Loving yourself that is! Here for your enjoyment is the Virtual You (MY Virtual Model)! Not only can you see yourself now, but you can see what you’ll look like as you get smaller! I’m telling you even the fat me looks WAY better than the real me (my model has no rolls, dimples or flab)…so she’s easy to love, even at my current fat weight.   OK, some information before you begin…You DON’T have to register to make your models or play with the weights (but you do need to register if you want to save them). I just go and play and turn my models around in their underwear to see me how others do now…and how I will look thinner. It’s men and women but they only go up to 350 and 250 pounds respectively, and the weights don’t change with every pound (changes come about every 10 pounds or so). There is an Adjust My Figure +- tab under personalize that will add some weight.   Click on the Create. Then select the Man or Woman tab. Then try the tabs ontop. -Personalize: Then you get to play with all the fun stuff. You don’t have to enter your name. You can change your shape, your current weight, face, features, hair (always wanted to try a new hair color/ ‘do’, now you can). It’s like a SIM. -Dress Up: The site is actually trying to sell you clothing, so you can try all different kinds of outfits on if you want to from different manufacturers (I’d at least change into something besides the ‘granny panties’ the default gives you). If you register you can keep outfits in your Closet, and Send them to others. -Weight Loss: Now the really fun part…what will I look like when I lose 50#, 100#? Now you can rotate your model (pop ups below model) to see you from all angles. See your butt 100# lighter…Wow!   Have fun! HERE
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2/11/09 What kind of CRAZY "Sport" is this?!!

We went to Kohl’s (department store) tonight for a sale and I decided to pick up a few of the things on my “Surgery List”. I got some slide in slippers for the hospital (because I won’t be able to bend over to put slippers on) and one of those nifty Magic Bullets for pre-chewing my food for me, and then I decided to pick up a few sports bras. Someone here suggested buying sports bras for several reasons; they’re great in the hospital when you don’t want an underwire bothering you or your incisions, and they’re good when you’re losing weight as they’ll last longer than a regular bra (yeah NOT where I need to lose, so that’s exactly what will happen). Sports Bra…SOUNDS like a good idea, right?   Let me start by saying I’ve never owned a sports bra. Now I’ve had tanks with built in bras, but I’ve never needed a sports bra. OK, DH helps me look (nice guy, huh, flipping through the bra section with all the women). So we found two in my current size and one in the next band size down (I’m thinking I might need this once I lose a few inches). So I go to the dressing room to try them on, yelling over my shoulder “Honey, I’ll just be a minute!” (we were done shopping after this).   My size fits fine…boy these aren’t too hard to get on, but they aren’t easy to get off (and remember I’m in Physical Therapy for my shoulder, partly). That should have been a clue. I happily try on the next size down…it’s tight…too tight to even want to take home “because you might fit into it soon”…yeah, THAT kind of tight…like now I can hardly breath tight. So I start frantically trying to peel it off…It tightly rolls up until it’s a tight twisted band at armpit level now…OK, now what to do…I try reaching across and grabbing one side at a time…nothing budges…my arms are too fat to pull it up around. I try the old cross both arms and trying pulling on both sides at once...nothing…except now my shoulder is killing me and the ‘rubber band bra' is now a tiny bit higher…just enough to keep my arms above my head now. OK, I KID YOU NOT PEOPLE…I SPENT ANOTHER 10 MIN. TRYING TO GET THE D#*M SPORTS BRA OFF!! I was seriously considering giving up and calling for help, hoping someone else was in the dressing room (pretty sure it was empty). Picture me yelling for help and the sight I’d be when the door opened to my dressing room…fat lady, naked from the waist up, twisted rubber band across the top of her chest and forcing her to hold her arms above her head. Yeah, that picture made me give it one last shot…I’m pretty sure I dislocated my shoulder (my PT is sooo going to kill me tomorrow) but with a cry of pain I got the D@*M thing off. DH “What the heck happened to you? I thought you died in there!” Me “I did...let’s go.”
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2/13/09 The Perfect Gift

My one wish for Valentine's Day..a girl can dream! (remember, I'm pre-band)   YouTube TV ad: Axe Dark Temtation: Chocolate Man...  
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2/12/09 Writer's Muse

I’m back from my Physical Therapy. I was still so sore from my little ‘incident’ last night that I walked into PT and asked if I could start with the heat and electrical stimulation. I gave my PT a wink as she was working on someone and told her I had a little problem with my neck/shoulder and that I’d tell her later. Got off the heat and after an arm warm up she said she wanted to start (instead of end) with the massage/stretching she does.   She comes running over when I’m back on the table and whispers like a school girl “So what happened?” (must have been something in my face)…I started whispering my sports bra injury story and she was hysterical with laughter. Now, you have to get that all the massage tables are right next to each other along one wall…I certainly don’t mind sharing…not much embarrasses me (yes, you knew that), but I didn’t want to embarrass the dozen or so guys around me…TMI and all that. Well, we were laughing so hard everyone was staring as I whispered my way through the horror of the dressing room.   When I was done I asked “So what’s the weirdest thing someone was injured doing that came to you for PT?” I’m thinking there’s got to be some pretty crazy stuff…I’ve got doctors and nurses for family and friends and they’ve always got the wildest stories about patients, I thought they HAD to see some pretty whacky stuff in PT too, right? Apparently not…or some patients are lying (you know who you are...fess up!). She said “Oh, I could probably write a book, but your sports bra injury would be on page 1- Chapter One!” The guys next to us heard the first part about writing the book and another PT asked “Writing a book on what?” She says “Strange ways people injure themselves.” Here it comes… “Like what?” I turn to him (now the whole area is listening) and (I figure it’s all over at this point anyway) with a really load whisper “Sports Bra Injury!” All the men look confused, but the few women there all start nodding their heads and I get immediate feedback all at once from the gals “Oh, yea!” “ I’ve had that happen!” “Those things are terrible to get off!” “I’ve always wondered why they don’t put hooks on those too!” “Oh, I have to buy them 2 sizes larger just to get them off!” I’m thinking…OK, if this is so common, why didn’t someone warn me ahead of time. Where were you gals when I was walking into the dressing room with two smaller sizes? The guys at this point are all laughing hysterically. Then the women go for after the guys “Yea, you wouldn’t understand!” “You should just try getting one of those things off!” “Yea, buy one for your wife for Valentine’s Day and see how easy it is for her to take it off!” “Better yet, you should try one of hers on and see how hard it is!” At this point I’m picturing that tightly twisted rubber band bra and men’s chest hair…probably the ONLY thing that could make that more painful.   I’m being really careful the next few weeks….don’t want to be Chapter Two.
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2/10/09 Somewhere, Over the Rainbow...

Well as far as I know, as of today I’m now done with all the “other doctors” pre-op stuff. It’s been a ‘long and winding road’ and it’s not quite over yet…I’m still on this yellow brick road to Oz and apparently I’m playing all the parts (that’s OK, I always loved dress-up)!       Remember that Shoe Fairy I put up a wanted sign for HERE? Well she answered and brought me some ruby slippers when I crushed the Wicked BMI/Comorbidity Witch my first weigh in (even if I did pee my pants HERE doing it).   I got my award of courage for making it through that claustrophobic 45 min. closed MRI for my heart HERE…so I’m the not-so-Cowardly Lion!   I just got clearance at my visit with the Cardiologist this afternoon, and my heart MRI from last week and my EKG today were fine. So contrary to my teenagers thoughts sometimes…I do have a heart…I’m the Tin woMan!   I found out this fall from the brain MRI for my migraines that I do have a brain…it’s “unremarkable” as the docs report said, but it’s a brain…so I’m the Scarecrow!   If I can make it past the Wicked Witch of Insurance Paperwork with two more monthly visits at my PCP then they’ll send it all in for approval to the Wizard…let’s just hope he’s “Wise and Wonderful”. There’s no place like Bandlandia...
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2/8/09 I Swear it's not a Hickey!

We went out to a nice restaurant with some neighbors this weekend. I’ve been looking forward to this as I’m starting to feel like a shut-in. Well, except for the million or so doctors appointments I’ve been to, between me and the rest of the family, the past few months. As a stay-at-home Mom, with no kids at home during the day anymore, you get a little starved for adult interaction in the wintertime. Top that off with the fact that I am still sorting papers and making new files (my LEAST favorite job…guess that’s why I still have huge piles to go through) and I REALLY was looking forward to going out.   As usual (and all you still-fat peeps…OK anyone who was ever fat will be able to relate), I poured myself into my best black jeans (I was proud I didn’t have to lay flat to zip them up this time) and was greeted by the lovely ‘muffin top’ which is now the opposite of what my waist once was. So into the closet I went after camouflage. After about 20 ‘costume changes’ I finally picked a two layer long, flowing ditty that didn’t make me cringe…it cover the muffin, but my arms felt like they were in sausage casing…sigh. It was getting late, so on to getting beautified. I quickly plugged in my giant curling iron and started my makeup. DD gave me one of those huge barreled curling irons and I swear it can get so hot that your hair is smoking. Uh-Oh, DH is calling me, better hurry! I fly through my hair with the curling iron turned all the way up so it will curl more quickly…then it happened…d@*n! I can’t ever use that thing without burning myself! It’s the same with the glue gun (and as an ex-art teacher I use that a lot too). OWW, OWWWWW! D@*N that hurts! I unplug the stupid iron and run downstairs.   We get to the restaurant a few minutes late and after hugs/kisses all around (did I imagine some strange stares *quickly check my tops for wardrobe malfunctions*), and ordering drinks I excuse myself to the ladies room. As I’m washing my hands I check the mirror…HOLY C#*P! There on my long pasty-white neck are two red hickeys!!...and I left home so fast I forgot my purse and makeup!!! D*@M that curling iron. OK, I’m not 16, surely no one else will think…but d*@n they sure look just like a hickey! I returned to the table with my cheeks bright red and slowly work it into the conversation that I burned my neck with the curling iron…Did I just hear sniggers??!
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2/9/09 Snooze and Lose!

At one of the three seminars I attended at the beginning of this process, a nutritionist gave out information on a study that was done on successful weight-loss patients. I thought it was interesting to hear that one of the indicators for being successful is getting enough sleep at night, but she didn’t really explain why. This paragraph is about my sleep, you can skip this and go to the next one to hear about you. I’ve always had a lot of trouble sleeping; takes me a minimum of ½ hour to fall asleep, I have to use a sound machine because I’m such a light sleeper and I wake up during the night several times. Add to that, that I’ve had frequent migraines that usually wake me up in the wee hours of the morning, and I wasn’t getting enough sleep. After having a crippling migraine for three days one week I finally sought help and am now on a medication that has been a miracle for me…and one of the side effects is that you have deeper sleep. I’ve had a few episodes where I’ve woken in the night with the beginnings of a migraine, but then I’ve fallen back to sleep. That NEVER would have happened before. It doesn’t help me to fall asleep, and I wake up groggy, but I’m getting more hours of sleep, which is good. OK, here’s why it’s good.   The Today Show featured a story today where Glamour Magazine looked at all the studies that showed a correlation between lack of sleep and weight gain. People who don’t get enough sleep on average eat 200 calories more per day. Glamour got women to change their sleep to at least 7.5 hours per night…and whataya know…they lost weight (they had more energy during the day to do more). When you don’t get enough sleep the body is under stress and craves carbs and fats as an energy source. When you get enough sleep (called sleep hygiene) the leptin (hormone that regulates how hungry you are) in the brain is kept in balance. Leptin goes down with sleep deprivation, which increases your appetite.   If you Google ‘sleep deprivation and obesity’ you’ll find an avalanche of recent studies on this issue. The obesity epidemic has gone up at the same rate that average amount of sleep has gone down. So get your zzzz’s!!!   Here’s the Today Show segment: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21134540/vp/29098028#29098028
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2/5/09 Dear Abby's Daughter

Dear Abby, I used to read your article as a teen, but you've dissapointed me with this one...this is just so, so wrong. -BG at LBT P.S. I feel a little better now that I figured out that it was actually your daughter who wrote this answer. Tell her she needs to be a better listener...Mini-Me told you she'd preferred not to tell; she did not say she felt ashamed or guilty; and have you seen the size of appetizers lately (OK, maybe this one would help), but if you look for the real question it's there...If I don't want to share everything, what do I SAY that will put others at ease?   DEAR ABBY   Advice Feb. 5, 2009     DEAR ABBY: I am an obese woman who had the lap band procedure done three months ago. I am now able to eat only three or four ounces of food at a time, and I am starting to show some major weight loss.   What do I say to people with whom I go out to eat when they think I am being finicky or snobbish for not eating my entire meal? I have gotten some pretty weird stares, and one of my co-workers believes I have an eating disorder.   Abby, I would prefer not to come out and say that I have had weight-loss surgery, but I don't want people worried about me either. Any suggestions? -- MINI-ME IN TEXAS   DEAR MINI-YOU: So many people in this country have serious weight problems, I see no reason why you shouldn't be frank about what you decided to do about yours. It's not shameful, and it should not be a guilty secret. People who know you well will find out eventually.   However, if you are determined not to reveal that you had the surgery, when you eat out in restaurants, order only an appetizer. That way less food will remain on your plate.
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2/7/09 They're Back!

Dear Gawd help me! I knew it was inevitable. It comes this time every year, so why wasn’t I prepared? I have no excuse…my DD was a GS, and I was even a leader for a few years…and here’s the kicker…I was the ‘Cookie Mom’ for several years. So why didn’t I see this coming? The doorbell rang and then I heard it from downstairs…”MOM! It’s the Girl Scouts selling cookies!!!” I froze! I’m a sucker for those GS Cookies and those little cute neighbor Girl Scouts! I always buy several boxes of each person’s favorites, and I’ve got the huge list down pat by now. This year was different though…my heart started palpitating and all I could think of was…Those d*@n cookies are going to arrive right about the time I start my pre-op diet!!! I could barely breath as I pictured those Tag-a-longs and frozen Thin Mints (best served frozen and dipped in milk…and come to think of it THIN MINT? Who ever got Thin eating those??)…AAAHHHH! “MOM!!! I’m picking out my favorites…HURRY UP!!!” Then, I heard it…the garage door going up….deep sigh of relief…breath slowly coming back…I yell down “I’m busy, Dad’s home now, so get him to finish the order please.” I don’t even want to know what they ordered…I’ve just got to focus now and get myself prepared for the smell of Thin Mints while I’m on the pre-op diet…maybe if I start wearing Vicks-Vapo-Rub every day until then I’ll be repulsed by the smell? You see, they say on the pre-op diet that I’ll be so hungry I’ll probably eat my youngest…wait, maybe after he eats a bunch of those cookies he’ll taste like a Thin Mint?!!!
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1/31/09 Steelers Nation and a Funny Song (link below)

Holly Cow!!!! Pittsburghers sure know how to party! It’s serious business here; with a smile! I’ve lived in several big cities with NFL teams, but Pittsburgh fans are Diehards with a Capital D. Mr.SA and I both graduated from Ohio State University, and although OSU fans are VERY loyal/we are (OSU is always rated as the fans most likely to travel with their team), I think Steeler fans take the cake in the NFL. Like I said yesterday, this isn’t a very transient city, so it’s mostly generations of Pittsburghers going WAY back. You don’t just see Steeler’s gear on people during the football season, although the face paint and nail art come out in full force then. Anytime of year here Steelers gear on people surrounds you (in LARGE amounts, not just here and there)…and I’m not just talking about the usual T-shirt, coat, hats, and flags…oh no, you’ll be sitting at the pool and suddenly notice you’re not properly dressed for the occasion. Steeler towels all over the grass, bathing suits in Black ‘N Gold, and that woman laying on the the lounger next to you with the nice pedicure…she’s got Steeler flip-flops on her feet, and yes, they’ve got bling…so do her Black ‘N Gold (‘n diamond) earrings.   Did you know that the Steelers have the most women fans of any NFL team?...and these gals can cook!...they can make a tailgate look like a 5-star buffet!...I never knew so many food come in (or can be turned to) Black ‘N Gold (*hint- bring a small toothbrush/paste in your lovely Steeler’s purse to any Steeler’s party or after you’re done eating your teeth will look like the kid who ate all the black jellybeans). We’re, of course, attending a SB party tomorrow night and I can’t wait. We attended the same party a few years ago when the Steeler’s won, so I was told we must be there (apparently we’re the non-natives who are now ‘good luck charms’…nice!). I’ve got my three appetizers planned…no food coloring, sorry, but the corn/black kidney bean dip certainly has the Black ‘N Gold thing going on.   Every channel has been Steelerfied since the last game and this week every broadcaster has Steelered there studio and their clothing. There was a ‘Cage the Cardinals’ rally dahntahn yesterday and swarms of people were packing the streets just to party together…OK, it’s Friday, there’s no game, no team in site here, but we’re getting together just so we can start the party early (it reminded me of those pep-rally bonfires at OSU the night before a game…only I don’t think they had a bonfire dahntahn, but they did throw eggs at a cardinal (no, not a real bird). This morning all the hospitals are wrapping the babies in their nurseries in Terrible Towels (boy did that look cute). A fact that any good Pittsburgher worth his weight in Pierogies knows, is that Myron Cope, a commentator here invented towel waving…1975, he asked fans to bring yellow kitchen dishtowels to the game to wave…they won…so the Terrible Towel was created the same season.   New songs have been written this year; as if there aren’t enough already; fight songs, rock songs, polkas (you hear them on the stations year-round). Yes, some are slow and sound like we can’t remember more than a few words… “Here We Go, Steelers” now rinse and repeat over and over and over, then add every now & again “Pittsburgh’s going to the Superbowl!” (best one to attempt after you’ve had a few IronCity beers), but others are in true Pittsburgh fashion (remember all that fast-talking smushing words together lesson from yesterday?) well this one’s got it all in spades…and you can sing it even after many Steelertini’s…it’s only one word long! It’s a tribute to the super-sexy Troy Polamalu (listen to the background singers trying to correct the Pittsburghese of the lead singer). He calls him; and this is the title…and ALL the word(s) “Puhlahmahlu” Click to sing it with me in your best Pittsburghese (it still cracks me up)!   Oh, and I forgot...Mr.SA won the 'Steelers Basket' of gear at out local bank today. I take that as a good omen for the team as we never win anything!
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2/6/09 NUT, Pulmonary, PT- Making the Rounds

Yesterday I had my NUT and Pulmonary appointments at the hospital and then my PT appointment. The NUT one I’ve really been looking forward to as it seems like each surgeon’s NUT here has different plans for patients to follow, so I was anxious to see what my diet would be (some NUT’s diets here seem a little crazy to me). I’ll have to tell you that I came away VERY happy.   Here are the basics of my plan: PHASE 1 (1-2 wks) Goal is hydration (64oz fluids). Clear sugar-free liquids, skim milk, fruit & vegetable juice (all these count toward liquid ttl). Start chewable multi-vitamins. NO protein goal (she says you have enough nutrients stored that you’re fine for a week or two), NO protein shakes. PHASE 2 (about wks 3-4) Goals to transition to food, increase nutrition. Use all phase 1 foods (64oz. liquids) plus mushies. Eat 6 small meals with portions ¼-1/2 C, and only eat for 30 min. No liquids 1 hr. before, during, and after meals. Protein – at least a few Tbs-up to ¼ C/meal, then other mushies. NO protein shakes. PHASE 3 (about wk 5 or 6) Goal adequate nutrition and weight loss. Continue liquids rules/amounts, 3 meals no snacks, <1200 cal, <1.5 C ttl. per meal. At least (per day): 6-9oz (about ¾-1C) protein, 1C Vegetables, 1C fruits, 1.5C grains/starches, 3tsp Fats. NO protein shakes (not expected to meet all these amounts/goals until about week 5). Avoid: high fat/sugar (in moderation and add to cal. for the day), stringy/tough/course foods you can’t tolerate (may be able to eat if you chew very well).   So here’s why I’m so happy with it. I’m basically following the new food pyramid (with smaller amounts/cal. to lose the weight) so it’s a very balanced diet. Basically no healthy food is completely off limits unless you can’t tolerate it (i.e. Raw celery may be too stringy, untoasted bread may be too doughy, but some CAN tolerate/eat these). I hate most low-fat condiments so I just need to use less and figure the cals into my daily totals. Did you get that I don’t HAVE to drink Protein Shakes…EVER, and she said even though they’re protein, they are high in calories compared to the satiety you get from them…they are sliders so you will feel hungry way sooner than with a food protein (I couldn’t understand why people are still drinking these years later, but whatever works for them). So far, this was the diet I was hoping for. Just healthy eating in smaller portions! We’ll see about the pre-op diet when I go to the pre-op class.   Pulmonary was simple as I’ve been to this Specialist before. I have Adult-onset Asthma and found out at the same time that I am very allergic to everything environmental (diagnosed with both in ’07 after 12 weeks of bad coughing...more debilitating than you think) and after several misdiagnosis’. My lungs have been so much better with my daily meds. Sleep lab is a pre-op my surgeon requires. My PCP had already sent me this past fall to the sleep lab as I was having a lot of trouble sleeping and my Dad has very bad sleep apnea (apparently I just snore a little, no apnea). Once I started the next month on meds. for my chronic migraines one of the side effects from that drug is deeper sleeping, so that’s helped me a lot with getting back to sleep (I think the back/shoulder problems I have wake me up, so maybe the PT I’m doing will help as well).   So two more pre-ops down, and only the Cardiologist visit next week and then my Pre-Op class left in April!   Oh, I got my neck and shoulder x-rays back before going to the PT yesterday...small amount of arthritis/degeneration in my shoulder, no problems with the shoulder blade, and the PT was right, the main issues are in my neck right where she thought (C5,6,7). I have arthritis, bone spurs, degeneration, one bone that has slid back a little and disc space narrowing which is pinching the nerves...that's what gives me the pain in my shoulder, down my arm and the numbness in my hand. The neck...which doesn't really bother me...who knew?
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2/2/09 Month 4

I had my 4th monthly weigh-in (just 2 more to go!). I was talking to the Nurse at my PCP’s office about the SB game and how we should have ALL had a 2 hour delay this morning to recover (like the Pittsburgh schools did)…yep, she was tired too (we were chatting like old friends about how tired we were). I was a little worried about weighing in after the Football Game watching Feastival, so I wore my lightest clothing and shoes (the problem is I’m not a good strategist…scheduling a weigh in the morning after a party, need I say more?). OK, again I screwed myself…my light clothing worked too well…the Nurse weighed me and I lost 4 pounds.   My PCP's CRNP came in and I told her that at my surgeon’s consult I also met with their insurance lady and apparently my insurance is easy to work with and all the extra information and educational stuff we were collecting (you know personal letters, etc.) is needed for everyone else EXCEPT me/my insurance (wish I’d known that BEFORE we started the extra work…sigh, oh well). So we’re now doing just simplified forms with a few check marks and fill in’s…easy-peasy and she insists the insurance company will approve me within 72 hours if we just send these forms…OK, I’m trusting you know best. Now I want you all as witnesses in case I get denied for not collecting enough information…because I WILL be ranting if that happens.   My PCP visit ended with her ordering new x-rays for my shoulder problems and she upped my hypertension meds. as my bottom number is still over 90…apparently not ideal.
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2/4/09 Don't Forget the Lyrics!

I found an old post on another site entitiled “What Song Relates to your WLS Journey” and it got me thinking. There were some great answers. Music is such a part of my life that this answer was easy for me. I keep hearing this song and thinking of this pre-op journey I've started and where it might take me (my post-op journey song might be different). Many of the lines in this, and even individual words in this speak to me; “fork” (no, not the kind for eating…get your mind off the food porn), “time”, "test”, “lesson”, “unpredictable”, “photographs”, "health". And I can only hope “it was worth all the while”. I hope this gets you thinking about songs that mean something to your journey. If you have one, share it with me.   Music and lyrics Click YouTube - green day time of your life(lyrics)
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2/3/09 The Shocking PT Club

This morning I started Physical Therapy for the first time ever….all I have to say is WHY OH WHY HAVE YOU PEOPLE BEEN HIDING THIS FROM ME (Mr.SA included!)??!! ….and really, why haven’t my past Dr’s ever ordered this for me before?? I’ve had osteoarthritis in my lower back for 10 years now and I’m in constant (albeit minor) pain, but it also rears it’s ugly head about once a month where I’m laying on a heating pad and popping pain relievers. Six years ago I pulled a bunch of muscles (trapezius?) in my upper left back and down my left elbow (lifting a couch…no, I’m not stupid, I was just lifting one end at a time to move it so I could clean). Since then I’ve had constant numbness and tingling in my left hand and occasional flare ups and muscle spasms…I just figured I’d pinched a nerve and was probably going to need shoulder surgery some day. Well let me tell you…Physical Therapy was great…electric stimulation (yes I got SHOCKED),   hot pads (I almost fell asleep it was so nice), then some evaluation/range of motion and some exercising. One machine had Atari like games on it were you had to push the sliding board you’re laying on up and down so that the blocks on the screen don’t hit your block…GENIUS…they should have these in every gym class at schools...my boys would love it. It ended with more evaluation that felt more like leg stretches and a neck massage (yes, I’d noticed that lump of muscle between my shoulder and neck...I just thought I was turning into a hunchback…apparently I had a huge ‘knot’ of tight muscle). (Hunchback/Quasimodo rings bells in gym while other guys pull weights.) by Mort Gerberg My results were that my osteoarthritis in my lower back can be helped by core strengthening, and I do have slight scoliosis and pretty pronounced lordosis (that swayback thing I thought I had) from compensating for my lower back problems...so I'm pretty much shaped like the letter Q. Now I do have some minor problems with my shoulder, but the main issue is with my neck…HUH? who would have known?! So if we can loosen up the muscles that have tightened around the neck and upper spine it should eleviate the pressure on the spine there, which is where the nerves come out of the spine and go down my left arm. Do you have all that…there’s going to be a test. Actually, I just wanted to write it down so I remember…bottom line is, no shoulder surgery and hopefully I can get this all better through PT. I know you people in the PT Club have just been keeping this a secret so you can get in to your PT more easily, well, book your appointments now…the word is out baby…I’ve just joined the club…I’m a card carrying member now…and I’m a blabbermouth about things I like!    
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