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Milk Sherbert-- Easy Substitute for Ice Cream

I can't believe it! I found not one, but two substitutes for ice cream, just when the weather is warming down here in Florida and I'm missing those cool, creamy treats. Here's the lower calorie and carb one: Jell-o Milk Sherbert. (Bless you, Grandma!)   By simply using sugar free Jell-o and Splenda, I can make this practically a "freebie" on my diet. Woohoo!  
voiceomt2002

voiceomt2002

5
 

Confessions of a Stress Eater

I used to be a stress eater. I'd suck down anything in my path like a Hoover whenever stress struck.   Only a month and a half after my surgery, my DH lost his job. For six months, we struggled while he desperately searched for work. Finally, for six months we thought he had a good job, but the economy hit us in the face again, and he lost that job too. My DH now has a "long term temp" job. It's something.   During all that stress, I had to keep working. I'm a writer, and that means I work at home. It's even more difficult to meet a deadline or stay on a strict food regimen when there's a bored, depressed man around. Even though I can only write for a few hours a day before my brain explodes, he still made my work difficult with constant interruptions.   Needless to say, at first I learned to get around the band. No I won't tell you how. Just accept it can be done. When I stopped losing weight, I knew I had to find an alternative to eating.   What did I do when there was no money for extras? I became a stress quilter. I belong to a quilting guild, and one of their main functions is to make quilts for charity. When I couldn't afford fabric, I could always ask the guild member in charge for another quilt set to make for charity. At one point I had two sets running simultaneously!   Anyway, my point is that if you were a stress eater before surgery, you'll still be one after surgery unless you find alternative means of handling stress. Clean house, garden, take up a craft, or train for a marathon. Whatever you choose to do to handle stress.   Like it or not in this world, stress happens. I've been forced to get very good at handling stress. I've quilted, embroidered, sculpted polymer clay, and walked off nearly 100 lbs from when I stepped on the scale at my PCP's and nearly fainted to learn I was 297 lbs. Now at 198, I've still got a way to go, but I'm closer than I've been in 25 years.   DH has a job. We still have our house, and now I've got to go mow the lawn. I'm happy to do it, considering I once was in a wheelchair because of my weight. :thumbup:
voiceomt2002

voiceomt2002

5
 

Need Low Carb Diet Opinions Please!

I'm guessing my bariatric surgeon, Dr. Michael Baptista, is getting more and more successful. He's moved from his partnership with another doctor and into his own spiffy new office MUCH more conveniently located for me, in Arlington right off 9A and Monument in the Brooks Rehab Building.   Now, I'm not saying his former partner was a bad doctor-- not with that many awards-- but I didn't like the other doctor and that's the honest truth. I'm allowed my opinions, and my two experiences with the former partner were unpleasant.   Now I feel much freer to help Dr. Baptista with his newer patients! I'm pleased to say Dr. Baptista asked me to start attending the monthly support group so I can provide cheerfulness and inspiration to a group that has recently begun to focus on negativity in his opinion. One subject he mentioned specifically I could help with was the low carb diet. Many have difficulty in going beyond what's on the face of low-carb living and consider it bland and without joy.   Do you think I can change that? Yeah, I can. Especially since it's official-- I lost another 7 lbs, and I'm now within 10 lbs of One-der-land! I can do it!   Now the question to ponder is-- what issue with low carb life do people have the most trouble with? I found it easy, so I have no clue where to begin. I need opinions, here!
voiceomt2002

voiceomt2002

4
 

Recipe --The Lasagna Solution

Next week is one of those weeks that will test me and my band. Two of my daughters and two of my grandchildren will live here with DH, Dante, and myself. Our grocery bill just doubled. Thank goodness, it's only temporary.   However, in the meantime, I must return to dollar-stretching meals like casseroles, shepherd's pie, pot pies, lasagna, chili, and stews.   Fortunately, there are low-carb and band-friendly solutions to these problem recipes. I'll start with the one everyone quite rightly fears-- lasagna. This is a challenge, with its layers of pasta. However, there is a solution, and fortunately, it's available right now. Zuchinni!   Yep, the ol' zukes, sliced lenthwise on my mandoline (v-slicer, not the musical instrument) become thin, flexible substitutes for the thick, gooey pasta for even cheaper! Hooray!     Notice that the recipe I posted is already not really a BAD one for carbs at 27g per serving. By using a few slabs of zuke on one end (one corner does the trick), I can have the same sauce, cheese, and deliciousness as my family with no feelings of deprivation or extra work making two meals. (I am not a masochist!)   I'd love to buy one of those ceramic pie birds to mark which end is mine, but until then cutting into the lasagna and serving whatever appears on the correct plate is fine. Cut in one end and find pasta? That's the family's side. Find zukes? Mine! LOL!   Yep, I'm looking forward to this.
voiceomt2002

voiceomt2002

5
 

What a Difference a Year Makes

On Saturday, Dante, my DD Susan, and I went to the Jacksonville Zoo. Not that big of a deal, right? It was for me. One year ago, I couldn't have hauled my badly overweight carcass around a grocery store, much less acres of walking trails. I would have been humiliated and restricted to one of those expensive rented electric carts, unable to ride the train or get "up close and personal" with the exhibits. I'd have been in my black stretchy knits, hoping no one noticed how sweaty I was. My swollen feet would have been crammed into my black Crocs, just so my feet could breathe and cool me. A few years ago, I would have jonesed for a cigarette and been unable to satisfy my craving because the electric carts would have been difficult to get to the few places where smokers could be.   This year was radically different than all years past where I sat in my wheelchair while Dante and Susan had fun. This year I was in size 18 jeans and a pink tee shirt, bouncing all over the zoo in my white tennis shoes, with my energy level equal to a power plant. I was the one hauling Susan and Dante hither and yon, running to take a picture here, ooohing and ahhing at the lovely creatures, while they struggled to keep up.   This year, Dante leaned on his cane, sweated, and begged for a chance to sit down. I graciously found places for him to sit and rest while Susan and I bounced around like both of us were 24 years old instead of just Susan. We got him cool drinks and held his place in line while he limped off to rest or smoke. The zoo is smoke free, so he took only one smoke break out on a dock on the Trout River.   Susan and I yanked the camera out of each others' hands to take pictures whenever we saw a great shot, depending on who had the best angle. We finally had to leave because DH would get off work soon, so we missed the Australian/African portion, but we did stop long enough for a quick visit to Stingray Bay to pet a stingray. :crying:   You can see my pictures in this album:   http://s516.photobucket.com/albums/u323/voiceomt2002/Home%20and%20Family/ I'm proud that I was the one who walked and didn't get tired, didn't blow my diet, and enjoyed myself. Next time, I think I'll take DH for a romantic stroll. He can keep up with me. (Big Grin)
voiceomt2002

voiceomt2002

5
 

January 19, 2010 One Year Later

My bandiversary was January 2. One year, 75 lbs lighter. I'm no longer a size 26, but a svelte (for me) size 18. According to my doctor, I have another 50-70 lbs left to go. Is he insane? Okay, I'll play along. After all, he's not been wrong yet.   Funny thing is, I'm still a size 26 in my head. I still slink through the lingerie section, expecting to be chased out by the sales clerks and sent to Lane Bryant.   I'm still shocked when some man ignores my wedding ring and (gasp) flirts with me.   On the other hand, I'm doing things that just wouldn't have been possible a year ago. I exercise three times a week and think it's fun. I bowl with my family, and we're talking about hitting the beach when the weather warms.   My husband wants to go on a second honeymoon (technically it would be a first. We were too poor back then) and scuba in Bermuda, and I actually think that's a great idea. I proposed taking up water-skiing too.   I fix my hair and put on makeup, and I smile at the woman in the mirror, even if I hardly recognize her without the bags under her eyes from sleep apnea, the puffy cheeks, and triple chin. Who is that woman with high slashing cheekbones, full red lips and smoky eyes? Me? Are you sure? Where's the dumpy old broad who spent half her life in a wheelchair or leaning on a cane?   I'm learning to see myself as a thinner, healthier person. I guess it's just going to take more time. Funny thing is, I now have that time. :confused:
voiceomt2002

voiceomt2002

5
 

A New Life

Wow, has it really been eight months since I last posted here? So much has changed since then...   On December 12, 2010, my DH and I went to the storage shed out back and pulled out the holiday lights to decorate the house. Unknown to us, a certain mold entered my DH's lungs because he was a lifelong smoker. Aspergillosis has a 95% mortality rate. It took my poor darling until January 2, 2011 to die in ICU. Thanks to the outpouring of love and support from my family and friends, I was able to not only pay for his funeral but also live until I could find work.   In late January, I went to see my primary care doctor to ask for anti-depressants. Before my banding, I'd been on the same prescription, so I figured this would be a quick visit. It would not be. The physician's assistant asked me if I'd ever considered suicide. I answered yes, because before my banding I had. Then she asked if I knew what method I'd choose if I did. I answered yes again because I'm a writer, and we research everything. I didn't know it at that moment, but I'd sealed my fate. I found myself incarcerated in a mental ward for 72 hours observation. Here in Florida, it's called "being Baker Acted." Have you ever been locked up in a psych ward when you're not in need of it? By the end of the three days, you'll need to be there. They nearly broke me, and I don't mind admitting it. If it hadn't been for the visits of a dear family friend named David, it's quite possible they might have succeeded.   One of the reasons I'd been depressed was my difficulty in finding a job. I've been a housewife for a long time. Finally, I got the call. On what would have been our 30th anniversary, I entered training to become a customer service representative.   To celebrate my return to the work force, David asked to take me to a local Medieval Faire. I happily accepted. When I admired a pearl ring, he bought it and slipped it on my finger. He said, "I know it's rude, but I can't wait any longer. Lena, I've loved you from afar for twenty years, but I didn't want to disturb your happy marriage. I know it's too soon to answer, but will you consider marrying me in a year or two, when you're ready?"   I have agreed to think about it, and I'll give him an answer next New Year's Eve.
voiceomt2002

voiceomt2002

2
 

Stop Dressing Like a Fat Woman?

“Lena, stop dressing like a fat woman!” Those were the words of my co-workers and fellow teachers at JoAnn’s Fabrics this past weekend. My only pair of new size 18 jeans were dirty, so I’d thrown on my old size 24 black jeans, a nice shirt, and my favorite black butterfly brocade jacket. I thought I looked pretty snazzy, even if my jeans were held up by my belt. Apparently, I was wrong. The two sewing instructors insisted on giving me a detailed analysis of how I need to cut down my clothes and re-tailor them to fit. Moreover, my lovely butterfly jacket is “only something fat women wear to hide their rolls of flesh.” (Oh, dear. Ummm...I love that jacket.) Guess this means I’d better pull out some of my patterns and make myself some new clothes or my co-workers may just rip my clothes off my body next meeting! EEEK! Still, what they said bugs me. Do I dress like a fat woman? What does a fat woman dress like?
voiceomt2002

voiceomt2002

6
 

Recipe-- Sausage and Egg Cups

Giving credit where credit is due, South Beach has provided me with some excellent recipes to supplement the others I get from SavingDinner.com. I so needed a "quickie" breakfast I could eat and run with, though I filled 12 muffin pan cups instead of six. Twelve servings worked a whole lot better for me, since about 2-3 oz is all I can manage. It freezes well in individual ziploc bags, and warms back up on "Defrost" in the microwave very well.   Sausage-and-Cheese Breakfast Cups (Phase 1) Makes 6 servings Description   These egg "muffins" make a hearty breakfast that can be eaten on the run. Make them ahead and warm them in the microwave for a fast and slimming breakfast treat.   Ingredients 4 ounces turkey sausage or crumbled turkey bacon 1/2 green bell pepper, chopped 1/4 onion, chopped 6 large eggs, beaten 1 can (12 ounces) sliced mushrooms, drained 1/2 cup (2 ounces) shredded reduced-fat cheddar cheese   Instructions Preheat the oven to 350°F. Coat a 6-cup nonstick muffin pan with cooking spray or line with paper baking cups. In a medium nonstick skillet over medium-high heat, cook the sausage, pepper, and onion for 5 minutes, or until the sausage is no longer pink. Spoon the mixture into a bowl and cool slightly. Stir in the eggs and mushrooms. Evenly divide the mixture among the prepared muffin cups. Sprinkle with the cheese. Bake for 20-25 minutes, or until the egg is set.   Nutritional information 140 calories 9 total fat (3 g sat) 195 mg cholesterol 4 g carbohydrate 12 g protein 1 g fiber 400 mg sodium
voiceomt2002

voiceomt2002

8
 

One-der-Land Revisits

Boy, this is no time to get cocky! I'm in One-der-land, but I have to admit I was overly confident and stopped watching my carbs. OUCH!! One week of that, and I was 201 lbs!   Yep, I raced back to my food journal and started keeping track, measuring, and being a good little bandster. Whew!! Back in One-der-Land and moving toward that goal in the distance.   This ain't easy! I'd allowed myself too many carbs, and now my body craves them again. I am a carb addict, and I will always be a carb addict. Now if I can just fight the urge to get a birthday cake for myself at the end of this month. How about kielbasa and grilled veggies instead? Yeah, that'll work.
voiceomt2002

voiceomt2002

2
 

Dancing in the Rain

I found a quote yesterday that I've made my own in this time of hardship for my family.   "Life isn't about waiting for the storms to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain."   Since my banding last January, we've had a horrible time with my DH losing his job in March, the threat of foreclosure, a cancer scare, more medical issues, and even a death of an infant recently.   Through it all, we've tried hard to keep our chins up. It hasn't been easy, and we've been forced to use pills like Tylenol PM to help us sleep despite our physical and mental pains.   I won't say there haven't been good things like my daughter coming to live with us. There have been. They just got overshadowed. Still, we kept fighting and trying to find positives.   Now there's a tiny ray of hope on the horizon. DH got a job offer last week. He's in the pre-hire process, and we live on pins and needles, waiting for the phone call that will tell him what time to come in on the 8th. Until then, we refuse to celebrate. We're scared to even bake him a small cake. Cross your fingers, pray, light candles, or whatever is your way of thanking the Creator for me.   We're still dancing in the rain, and praying we don't get struck by lightning.
voiceomt2002

voiceomt2002

6
 

Moving My Blog

Well, I'm not Band Groupie, but I am having trouble keeping up here on LBT, especially my blog. So, I've moved to an old blog I kept while preparing for surgery and now it serves as my Bandster Cookbook.   http://fatfrogdiary.blogspot.com   Please come join me there. I'll still post here now and then, but mostly there.   Lena
voiceomt2002

voiceomt2002

3
 

That Which Doesn't Kill Us Makes Us Stronger

It's been a stressful two months with my husband out of work. We saw financial ruin at every turn and panicked daily at 3 AM. I'm a stress eater, and for awhile there I tested my band and hovered at gaining weight despite a band with close to 9 cc's in it. I gained and lost, adding more unnecessary stress to my life. Even when I thought I was watching my carbs, I refused to keep a food log. I truly believed I was limiting my stress by allowing myself some freedom. (Self-delusion time! Call me Cleopatra, Queen of Denial!)           This weekend, I decided “enough is enough” and went back to my doctor's advice about keeping a food log. Immediately, I got results. The two pounds I'd gained dropped off me, and I was shocked to discover I once again –quite deservedly, I might add!-- had to go through with withdrawal from my carb addiction.     I'm now back on track and less than one pound away from where I was when all my troubles and stress began. I now know the value of my food log and I will not stray away from it again. Someday, perhaps in the not-so-distant future, I'll be able to maintain a decent weight without logging every morsel I put in my mouth, or perhaps occasionally forgiving myself for a slice of birthday cake on my birthday. But today is not that day, and I love my smaller body size and healthier lifestyle too much to consider a quick stroke of a pen a hardship.
voiceomt2002

voiceomt2002

5
 

Pinwheel Appetizers

Was I skeptical when I saw rice in this recipe? You betcha! However, this is wild rice, and you're talking a little bit of rice spread on 36 appetizers. When you need a fast, cool, and cheap appetizer, this wins hands down.   Since I can't get the image to resize smaller, here's the URL: http://i516.photobucket.com/albums/u323/voiceomt2002/Recipes/Recipes--%20Appetizers%20and%20Party%20Foods/LCPinwheelAppetizers.jpg   See if you agree with me.
voiceomt2002

voiceomt2002

2
 

My Doctor Wants Me to Post This

Many folks have a fear of flying, or arachnophobia, etc. Common phobias. Other than a fear of heights, I considered myself fairly fear-free.   Then I lost 75 pounds. That's only halfway to my goal weight, but with everything in my closet falling off me and not enough time to tailor anything but my favorites, my daughter said, "Enough is enough, Mom! You can't make a bra, okay? Time to shop!"   I sighed and gave in. Until we came to the threshold of the lingerie department. My feet wouldn't move further. I stood there, paralyzed with fear some snobby salesclerk would give me the usual contemptuous look. "I'm sorry, Ma'am. We don't carry the larger sizes. May I recommend Lane Bryant at the other end of the mall?" You know, the dismissive flick of the hair, the turned up nose and presenting her back as if you're unworthy to even set foot in her department?   My daughter had to literally trick me to get me in the area by asking me if a certain sexy little bra would work with her wedding gown we'd planned.   Then, because I wasn't the victim/shopper, I could go to her. I was relieved and hoped she'd pulled a fast one, hoping I'd buy her some lingerie for her wedding. To get out of buying for myself there and hoping to go back to buying my lingerie online where I didn't have to be snubbed by salesclerks, I was happy to shop.   My daughter pretended to shop for herself, casually asking my opinion, and eventually she slipped in the question about what size I thought I might be these days.   I fell for it and told her my estimate. After all, I am proud of my much smaller size, even if I'm only halfway to goal.   Quick as a wink, two packages of my size underwear and bras hit the basket. Susan grinned in triumph. "Gotcha, Mom. I saw you admiring these. You can wear them now, you know!"   I gulped. I glanced around furtively, hoping I could make a mad dash for the registers before the salesclerk had me burned alive for sacrilege.   It took me two days to open those packages and try them on. They fit. In fact, they're comfy! My fear is gone, and next on my shopping challenges will be (gulp) buying a pair of jeans in the Misses section, not the "Women's" department. Pray for me!   I decided I'd better mention this horrible fear reaction to my doctor so he could warn the shrink to warn the pre-ops that they might have to face the challenge of a fear of shopping in the normal stores. It's freaky, and I never thought it would happen to me, the clothes horse.   Doctor Baptista said he'd heard of this from several of his patients, but no one had explained it to him until me. He promised to tell the shrink if I'd blog about it.   Save yourselves and shop early and often. Learn to buy one or two pieces as you shrink, or you may face the phobia yourselves. You have nothing to fear from the salesclerks, really. (My mantra.)   All laughter at my expense is welcome. Thank you.
voiceomt2002

voiceomt2002

5
 

Timesaver Mushy Recipe Part Two- Chicken Salad

I'm going to assume you read yesterday's post about the chicken, and you now have in front of you the meat you liberated from the bones. Meal #1 was the Roast Chicken. These are the leftovers and meat removed from the carcass frame and stored while you made Chicken Broth from the bones.   Time for a meal from those scraps you almost threw away. I recommend not bothering with a tomato cup or lettuce leaves when on the mushie stage, unless you feel like the extra work. Certainly I did indeed enjoy my chicken salad rolled up in a romaine lettuce leaf and consumed in a similar way to a burrito, but the choice is entirely up to you.     Okay! Tomorrow, we'll make the ubiquitous soup that shows up in almost every casserole in America-- Cream of Mushroom (or several other cooked veggies.) To save yourself time and trouble, I suggest you do a fast inventory of the fridge. Any leftover cooked veggies hanging around? I found two-cup container filled with broccoli! What'd you find?
voiceomt2002

voiceomt2002

5
 

Guilt-Free Midnight Snacks

Midnight Snacks   Are you a night owl who sometimes gets the midnight munchies? It's okay to add a late-night snack to your meal plan, particularly during Phase 1 of the program when you're still getting your hunger and cravings under control. Frequent snacking can help stabilize your blood sugar and insulin levels, according to Dr. Arthur Agatston, leading preventive cardiologist and author of The South Beach Diet Supercharged. Here are some tasty late-night snack ideas, suitable for all Phases:   Celery sticks with hummus or natural, no-sugar-added peanut butter
I still have trouble accepting that it's okay to have peanut butter. (grin) Still, making these and having them handy with the raw veggies in a serving-size ziploc baggie means I grab what's most convenient (the baggie). Raw veggies
Lean deli meat roll-ups
Yummy and again, easily rolled up and available. Part-skim mozzarella cheese stick
These are great! Least likely to leave something visible in your teeth, so perfect for the on-the-go Nuts such as almonds, peanuts, or pistachios, but stick to one serving — about 15 almonds, 20 peanuts, or 30 pistachios — since too many nuts can impede weight loss
For me, this is one of those "betcha can't eat just one!" foods. A handful of nuts of any kind just doesn't satisfy me, but don't let my love of nuts influence you. Again, those snack-sized baggies come in very handy for portion control. Fat-free or 1 percent cottage cheese with salsa or chopped cucumber
I've not tried salsa or chopped cucumber in my cottage cheese. I grew up thinking of cottage cheese as a sweet, so I dip out a serving (about 1 cup) and add Splenda and flavored extracts to taste. Dry-roasted or boiled edamame (green soybeans)
Edamame is a recent addition to my snack repetoire, and I love them! They're as addicting as popcorn. However, let me add here that I'm a lucky bandster who can --in small quantities-- injest popcorn with no harm done. I enjoy spicing up my popcorn with cheese, ranch dressing powder, or creole seasonings. Popcorn and the more expensive edamame are the basis of my "no-guilt thinking snack" when I'm writing during the day. Fat-free or 1 percent milk
Let me add in here that, IMHO, sometimes a snack attack is not hunger but thirst. I use the same technique I did to quit smoking to get away from unhealthy snacks. Always acknowledge the craving's existence, but wait thirty minutes and drink something instead. Sometimes a glass of milk or an icy Crystal Light will do the job. Plain nonfat or low-fat yogurt
The worst and biggest craving in our house is for ice cream. My DH could eat the high fat, high calorie stuff and still look like a stick. So, for me plain yogurt and the aforementioned cottage cheese are diet salvations. By using the myriad of flavored extracts available online, such as Watkins Products, I can have everything from chocolate to pina colada (pineapple, coconut, and rum extracts, combined) without breaking my diet. Remember, nuts are allowed! A strawberry on top makes it festive. Who says you can't play with your food?     Lena Austin http://www.LenaAustin.com http://depravedduchess.blogspot.com  
voiceomt2002

voiceomt2002

1
 

Bacon Cheddar Meatloaf

I may have posted this before. If I haven't, I'm sorry. This may be the ultimate bandster food-- ground meat, cheese, and tasty enough to keep feelings of deprivation as a distant memory. Now, I have to admit I've skipped buying different kinds of ground meat and stuck to 2 lbs of ground beef. Sorry, it's cheap!   Also, to "dice" the bacon, I cheat and use my kitchen shears. Someone told me to only partially defrost the bacon and chop it then, but I'm not too bright in the morning and handing me a sharp object before noon isn't wise. LOL! Enjoy!  
voiceomt2002

voiceomt2002

4
 

Mushies- Coq Au Vin Stew

This only sounds fancy. It's easy! http://www.bhg.com/recipe/chicken/coq-au-vin-stew/ Don't forget to take off the skins on those chicken thighs. They look slimy and unappetizing, not to mention how much fat they hold. Get rid of them before beginning this recipe. If you can't find the Beefy Onion soup mix, just use regular Onion Soup Mix and add about a tablespoon of beef bouillion granules to the stew. The results will be the same.
voiceomt2002

voiceomt2002

1
 

January 22, 2010 A Happy Scale Whore

As anyone in our sisterhood of Scale Whores Anonymous (SWA) knows, I'm the nut case who keeps track of her weight by writing it down on the bathroom mirror with a wipe-off board pen.   I have an antiquated bathroom scale that looks like it belongs in the Art Deco Revival era several decades ago, and I love it because of that beauty. I know it's not accurate, but I step on it anyway every day. (That's why there's an SWA-- we're compulsive about it.)   Last month, just before Christmas, when I stepped on the scale at the doctor's office, I got a nasty shock. Despite repeated attempts to be very good, I'd *gained* a pound. EEEK!   So, I was determined to get back on the wagon. I pulled out the old food journal and locked all the carb contraband out in the cabinet outside.   My scale said I lost. At one point it dipped down to 205 lbs, and my shriek of joy should have shattered the bathroom window. (Thank you, tempered glass.)   Still, I drove with butterflies in my stomach to the doctor's for my monthly weigh-in. Would his infinitely more accurate scales show how hard I'd been working? When my turn finally came, I stepped on the scale.   The nurse gasped.   My heart sank. I was doomed. Done in by that tangerine I had a week ago. *sob* One little cheat had cost me.   "OMG, Lena!! You've lost TEN pounds!" The nurse did a jig with me. Later, doc gave me a hug. I'm back on the road to One-der-Land, and I think I see it rising out of the mists in the distance. :thumbup:
voiceomt2002

voiceomt2002

3
 

Alice in One-der-land, Episode One

Once there was a woman named Alice who fell down a spiraling hole of guilt and shame while following an elusive White Rabbit of Beauty. She discovered a magical place called One-der-land, though at first it seemed a place of madness and horror. I'll occasionally recount (not in chronological order because this is a place of madness, after all, at least to Alice) some of her adventures.     Alice landed at the bottom of the Shame Spiral in tears, her body shattered by so many years of abuse, both from within Alice herself and from others, who felt she didn't deserve anything. She wondered if she'd ever be able to get up, but she managed to heave herself erect and walk, still hoping for another glimpse of the beautiful White Rabbit. Alice had to rest often, and had trouble breathing, but the path seemed familiar somehow, as if she'd traveled upon it or at least seen it many times. Her feet swelled, her knees hurt, and upon occasion she considered just lying down at the side of the path and becoming another one of the many grave markers just visible through the thorny bushes. Still, something inside her refused to allow her to give up. She had to keep fighting.     Finally, an angel in a white coat smiled at her. "You've been approved. Step forward. Your new journey can begin. At the end of your time here, you will see the White Rabbit if you are patient and work hard."     In a clearing sat a man wearing another white coat, but this man was unlike any other she'd ever seen. In his own charming way, he was handsome, and his eyes were kind. He invited her to sit and rest at his table, where a fascinating array of things were laid out. Some were gruesome body parts in frames or on pedestals. Some were the familiar diet protein shakes she'd starved herself with many times. Other things were not easy to describe and made no sense.     Her handsome new friend tried desperately to make himself understood. Alice leaned forward, for he seemed so earnestly trying to explain something important, but though he spoke English soon his words were gibberish, and Alice knew in her heart it was her fault she couldn't understand him anymore.     What she had understood was that he would help her, if she would obey the rules of One-der-land. He'd given her a few, and told her she must discover the rest for herself. All would be revealed to her slowly, allowing her to adjust to this new and frightening world. Then the man vanished, and Alice was left alone wondering what to do next.     A cheerful fairy peeked in. Her bright eyes and sleek figure made Alice very envious, but she was so sweet and charming, Alice couldn't stay angry with her for long. The fairy danced up to Alice. "Hi! My name is Locarb! I just know we're going to be friends!"     Now Alice was very suspicious. She'd heard of Locarb fairies, and they could be very vicious, even expensive, to keep as friends. Alice narrowed her eyes. "Are you going to make me buy ridiculously expensive things I don't know how to use, limit me, and put me in a very narrow box?"     Locarb's laugh was the tinkle of bells! "No, no! That's what happens when YOU limit ME!" The fairy reached into her basket and pulled out a white mound of something creamy, covered in a brightly colored sauce, served in a small bowl. "Here, I'll prove myself. This treat is for you. This magical treat will keep you from being naughty and disobeying the Lord and Master, whom you just met. You may only have this once a day, so choose wisely when you have it."     Alice looked longingly at the white creamy stuff, served so very prettily. It looked like the evil poisons that had made her addicted and ill. Her body craved those poisons like an alcoholic craved liquor, and so she feared them all. She sniffed it cautiously. "I smell raspberries...and cream."     Locarb nodded, her cute blonde curls bobbing. "Yes. I assure you, you can have this. I'll allow you to have this early today, just to show my good intentions."     Her fingers shook, but Alice licked her lips and took a tiny taste. Raspberry and something like cheesecake exploded on her tongue and slid down her throat like ambrosia from the gods. Alice's eyes filled with tears. She put the spoon back in the bowl and pushed it all aside. She sobbed. "I can't have things like this! They're poisoning me. Please, take it away before I gulp it all down! I'm already sick from things like this. It's too delicious and wonderful for evil creatures like me."     The fairy picked up the spoon and put it back in Alice's hand. "Yes, you can have it. Trust me. It's expensive in calories, but there are only 8 carbs in this treat, and it will keep you from wanting the poisons you have been eating. Now, enjoy your treat. I will help you, if you let me."     "Okay, but it's your fault if I get fatter." Alice sniffled, and ate all the contents of the bowl slowly, savoring every drop. When she went too fast, the fairy tugged at her hand until she slowed down. Finally, the bowl was empty. Alice waited for the horrible sugar rush that temporarily gave her energy, then sent her crashing to the earth with less than she'd had before. The rush never came. In fact, she felt...good. "Oh my! What was that?"     Locarb leaned close. "The legend of no desserts in One-der-land is false, and always has been. However, like all treasures, it must be sought and enjoyed wisely. This is your first weapon in the war against the addiction that has poisoned you all your life." She pressed a small piece of paper in Alice's hand. "Use it wisely and well, or it will do you no good!"     Locarb's Creamy Treat 2 servings 400 calories/ 8 carbs     1 block of cream cheese 2 T. Splenda 2 T. milk, cream, or half-n-half 2 T. any sugar-free syrup such as Torani or daVinci (see links) per serving     Open the cream cheese package and drop the cream cheese into the bowl of your food processor. Add the Splenda and cream. Whirl, using a spatula at least once to get the creamy mix off the sides of the bowl if necessary, until the substance is light and fluffy. Place in a small sherbet bowl. Pour sugar-free syrup over each serving, as desired. Eat slowly.     Copyright: Lena Austin 2010 Do not distribute without direct written permission from the author.     ::NOTE-- the opinions and ideas expressed in this blog are my own, and opinions are like anuses. We all have them and they all stink. Except mine, which smells like roses.
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Recipe-- Lemon and Herb Rubbed Pork Chops

Lemon and Herb Rubbed Pork Chops   Ingredients   1-1/2 teaspoons finely shredded lemon peel - 1 teaspoon dried rosemary, crushed 1/2 teaspoon salt1/2 teaspoon dried sage, crushed 1/2 teaspoon black pepper 8 cloves garlic, minced 4 pork loin chops, cut 1-1/4 inches thick   Directions   For rub, in a small bowl combine lemon peel, rosemary, salt, sage, pepper, and garlic. Trim fat from chops. Sprinkle rub evenly over both sides of chops; rub in with your fingers.   For a charcoal grill, arrange medium-hot coals around a drip pan. Test for medium heat above pan. Place chops on grill rack over pan. Cover; grill for 35 to 40 minutes or until chops are slightly pink in centerand juices run clear (160F), turning once halfway through grilling.   (For a gas grill, preheat grill. Reduce heat to medium. Adjust for indirect cooking. Grill as above.)   Lena's notes: Makes only 4 chops. They may be dry if you cook them too long, making them difficult to get past the stoma. Undercook them slightly and allow them to rest for 5-15 minutes, covered with a sheet of foil. They'll finish cooking while resting. This will allow time for the juices to redistribute into the meat, giving you a moister bite you can get past the stoma.   AFTER THEY"VE RESTED, cut them up into tiny pieces before you sit down, and you'll be less tempted to gobble.   Nutrition Facts Calories 292,Total Fat (g) 10,Saturated Fat (g) 4,Monounsaturated Fat (g) 5,Polyunsaturated Fat (g) 1,Cholesterol (mg) 105,Sodium (mg) 371,Carbohydrate (g) 3,Total Sugar (g) 0,Fiber (g) 1.   Karen Marshall North Attleboro, MA508-463-7142 Wildtree Herbs Independent Representative_www.wildtree. com_ (http://www.wildtree .com/)
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Breakfast or Dessert? Pumpkin and Granola Parfait

This looks like dessert to me! I haven't got any granola bars, but I'll be a sprinkle of nuts would work with less carbs. Pumpkin & Granola Parfait 1 serving View Nutrition Facts Ingredients 1 container (6-ounces) plain low-fat yogurt 2 teaspoons honey (I subbed Splenda) 1/4 teaspoon pumpkin-pie spice 1 whole-grain crunchy granola bar, crumbled 1/2 cup canned pumpkin Directions Mix together yogurt, honey and pumpkin-pie spice. In a bowl, layer yogurt mixture, granola-bar crumbs and pumpkin. Delicious! This isn't cheating! Woohoo! Okay, be reasonable! 1/2 cup is plenty
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The Last NSV?

I've just returned from my monthly visit with Dr. Baptista, whom I still adore. However, I finally realized I don't care what my weight is anymore. I'm losing weight, though it comes off in about 5 lb increments.   I'm wearing size 18, down from size 26, jeans. I'm wearing a 38B bra. I mowed our 3/4 acre lawn a couple weeks ago. I've not gone to the beach yet, but that's in my future when warm weather returns.   The biggest change is in my head. I'm no longer obsessed with food, or my diet, other than watching what I eat so I don't throw up and waste food. It's just fuel so I can get back to the business of living.   I never thought I'd say that. This year, I don't care if there's candy in the stores. The thought of eating the whole bag like I did on a previous Halloween isn't there. I don't want it.   It's the non-food stuff I care about now. Gee, the grandchildren are going to need new warm pajamas. I'd better go make them some. Let's carve the polyurethane foam pumpkins and string some spooky orange lights! Gee, my DH is so tired on weekends. I'd better go mow the yard and mulch that flowerbed. We're going dancing on Thursday night? Super! Where are my shoes?   Food? Uh, no thanks. Not hungry. No really, no thanks. Want to go for a Ghost Walk?
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