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Thanks for the comments!

I just finished my talk with the office manager. I told her most of my concerns including my peripheral ones. But that my main problem is this LACK of what I feel is real restriction. She said: "don't set yourself up for emotional failure." Well maybe I am getting to that. Suggestion that I see the counselor more often and perhaps go to the emotional eating group. I think I would not be so emotional over this if it was WORKING! If I did all this and saw some results I would not be emotional like this! I told her I did not feel what they told me at the pre-op was what has happened since then as far as the restriction. I was surprised at the amounts I can eat of even GOOD things like lots of salad and how it does not feel too full hardly ever! I told her I think I need a more aggressive approach to this. Well, whatever... lots of successful people there and I am one of the few dumb not so successful ones. How did I get so lucky? How could I get this thing in there almost a year ago and be one of the ones who did not lose much?? Well, I tried. I guess now I will try to make many more changes and see if I can get my emotional self better here. Don't see how if I can't/aren't losing any weight. It all depends on getting the band to help me and I am doing all I can I think. She said to set small goals and reward myself for them. Well there are lots of them but they do not add up to that ONE thing. Getting the darn FAT off! Later, later....gotta do something ELSE besides think about how this is not working after a freakin' year! Maybe it is that year thing that is getting me so messed up or the fact that I have lost nothing only gained since November. I am off here.... :thumbup:

BioTeacher

BioTeacher

 

this morning +2 more lbs

Well I just returned from working out. I spent an hour on the treadmill at about 3mph and about 45 minutes on the weights. I was trying to do them slowly so I can build some upper body strength. I sort of could tell by my lovely stomach that I had not lost. I have been doing really well on my eating too --lots protein, watching the amounts, etc. Well, well....I was just looking over my food diaries from last summer when I was banded. I was starving hungry ALL the time. I think I might try to do two high protein shakes a day and then three very small meals that are measured. Then I can see if I lose then. I sure did last year but I remember just having my stomach GROWL and hurt it was so hungry. But I need to try something. Don't have any big eating out challenges until Friday so I think can do it. Just hard to fix food for the family and then not eat it. Well I will just measure it closely with my little cup and see then. I also looked at the Realize brochure. After 12 months the average person had lost about 33% of their weight. And after two years about 41%/. Even though I have not lost for awhile, I am within that average. Not that many in their study had the larger weight losses after a year or even two. That is not encouraging! I gotta get farther than this. And even though I am average, I am OK to get it going again! Also I read that they recommend to put 9ml in the band. Well it is a 9ml band and I have 7ml in mine now. I thought they would not put anymore in but they still can all the way up to the 9ml--that is what it said so by golly they can keep putting it in there until I get where I need to be!!! I thought they HAD To quit soon--they don't! I read the brochure and I will tell them I did and even take it with me if I have to. So what if I am on the FAR end of the fills, there are always people at each end of a curve--I just get to be ONE of them! Interesting stuff. Well, I know you do gain when you start to exercise a lot which I have been these last 2 and half weeks. Now when is it that all that EXTRA muscle starts to burn more calories, raise my metabolism, and help me LOSE weight?? I sure hope it kicks in soon! You know though, I am not real upset. I KNOW I am doing just about ALL I can--writing down, water, protein, exercising. I KNOW I am !! Also it feels GREAT to know I was able and had time to work out that much! an HOUR on the treadmill! Wowser! I even sort of jogged a bit! Wowser. It is empowering. But once school starts back up kiss that goodbye. Maybe this will be the year I will figure that one out?? I always think I will be never do. I am lucky to have enough time and energy to do our daily dog walks when school starts. Then there are always the nightly and weekend paper grading. UGH. No time for me. Well--not to worry about that right NOW. Right now I can do it! Have gained but am doing ALL I can I know it......:thumbup:

BioTeacher

BioTeacher

 

I'm Gaining!

I am still having a time of it. I got on the scale and it is highest since surgery. I have GOT to get a handle on this! I do pretty well all day and then when I am most tired I eat dumb things. Not too bad bad stuff but things like too much peanut butter and and apple. Stuff like that. Today has been a good day. I hope to now make it to bed before I eat anything else. I think that is one key for me. For some reason I think I must eat to go to bed. How bent is that? Sometimes I am hungry and honestly I cannot sleep with growling stomach. But most of time I am just "rewarding" myself. I have got to try to break this. It is a LOOOONGG going problem though. Anyway I ate well today and what I think were controlled quantities. I kept the protein constant through the day. I just walked outside briskly about 30 min and all is well. Now I need about 365 more days like this one! Wow. :tongue2: Still not feeling the restriction much. Was eating some stringy white meat chicken and I felt something so I stopped and fed lots of it to the dog. But as far as just helping me stop, I just still don't get it. I am hoping to go in there in two weeks and just not gain but it is not looking good! Gotta get a handle here! I fully expect no more fills no matter what--and I just don't care any more....for sure... well more later. No eating before bed, no eating before bed.....keep repeating it... :smile2:

BioTeacher

BioTeacher

 

Fill Last Monday--still nothing!

:biggrin: I went in last Monday. Had a slight gain. I basically have lost nothing in 5 months. I am so tired of reading all these people losing, losing. What is wrong with me?? I am ten months out of surgery and here I am. Nothing happening on the scale. I can still pretty much eat whatever I want. Only thing I feel is stringy meat and today on an apple. That cannot be real restriction. I just continue to try to eat less, more protein, keep exercising. Keep hoping for something to start to happen... I have 6.5 in a 9 band. I feel in my heart that I need one more fill for a total of 7. Not sure why I think that but I do. School is about to let out and I thought I would be close to goal. What a laugh that one is. 60 more lbs. to go and no movement! CRAP. Anyway, I went in there Monday and just kept saying Zen, Zen, Zen, trying to keep on a positive note no matter HOW they treated me. I was not going to leave there crying again. The NURSE said that my doc is very conservative, does not fill fast so he has had like NO complications, etc. Told me it might take a good TWO years! Well OK but let's get this MOVING again. I am SICK SICK of looking like this and feeling like this. I just want to have some slow gradual LOSS!!! Help me GET somewhere!!!!!!!! OH well. More later. :thumbup:

BioTeacher

BioTeacher

 

Wow bumped off the chat room!

I just got on there to talk. Basically a couple of people all excited about the banding surgery. All I said was basically maybe not to make it the end of the world. It might not work as fast or well as they had been told. Then someone said--this is about encouragement right? Then someone else said--go eat a donut! Wow that was nice! I was asking how much people had in their bands and saying I was trying to figure out why it worked so well for some and not others. Someone said it was a rarity for it to not work. Gosh I feel so much better. I sure hope for the sake of all those people on there that it works like the hype says. But my point is it sure may not. Maybe a realistic approach might be good. Go eat a donut! Thanks for the help people. I appreciate it. Glad I went there to talk and see if anyone else was struggling and had any tips. Now I feel worse. :biggrin:

BioTeacher

BioTeacher

 

Problems with my son

:thumbup: Friday night I was woken up by the police slamming on my door. The son was too loud and someone--one of his dumb "friends" was running up and down the street with a loud car. I let them in his room to talk to him about it.   they hauled my son out of my own house to jail. This is not the first time. Things were just looking up for him, he is graduating from college, got a job part time for the first time in a long time. Not a great job but a job anyway. And now this. We will make him pay us back but we are out $2-3000 for lawyers and such. We have spent so much on them already. But from what we have seen he cannot go to court without one. Why am I writing this? Meanwhile I am supposed to be watching what I am eating. I could have ate a gallon of chocolate yesterday for sure. My husband who is thin got sick and could not eat. I get the opposite when upset. I guess my point is that there are a lot more things going on than just why am I not eating what I should? There are lots of problems and it is so hard. I have done really well not going crazy. Luckily I have several Lo cal things that are sweet that are helping. I still have exercised and yesterday a big walk. I just am not not losing. I am so stuck where I am since November. The fill I got has affected me a little bit but just is not doing the job. I am in my 11th month here. I just need that little boost --- something needs to go right! I guess that is it tonite blog. When will this kid change? Why can't he see that his friends are using him and now using us and that we are the only ones who have ever really supported and cared about him?? I don't feel like a good week is coming up. I will keep trying but keeping my attitude and chin up about all this weight stuff is just getting to be too hard. I don't have diet cokes anymore, and why? I am not losing, it is not helping? I don't eat any bread when eating out at all. I bring half my food home. And for WHAT!? This is tough....God please give me a break soon. :sad:

BioTeacher

BioTeacher

 

STill having trouble

:thumbup: I am about to go in next Monday with another month or 4 weeks of no weight loss. I have weighed the same since November 1st. I am scared that this is it. I cannot do this on my own. I have proven this over and over. I am craving sweets and am taking bites here and there and I know my dumb mind is letting me because I am NOT losing. this is my pattern. I will probably start to actually gain and will not stop until I do. I need SOMETHING to get started again. I exercise and walk just about every single day. Help, help help...

BioTeacher

BioTeacher

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