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Wow bumped off the chat room!

I just got on there to talk. Basically a couple of people all excited about the banding surgery. All I said was basically maybe not to make it the end of the world. It might not work as fast or well as they had been told. Then someone said--this is about encouragement right? Then someone else said--go eat a donut! Wow that was nice! I was asking how much people had in their bands and saying I was trying to figure out why it worked so well for some and not others. Someone said it was a rarity for it to not work. Gosh I feel so much better. I sure hope for the sake of all those people on there that it works like the hype says. But my point is it sure may not. Maybe a realistic approach might be good. Go eat a donut! Thanks for the help people. I appreciate it. Glad I went there to talk and see if anyone else was struggling and had any tips. Now I feel worse. :biggrin:
BioTeacher

BioTeacher

3
 

Scared to go in tomorrow!

Well I have tried valiantly and still showed a nice GAIN when I got on the scale this morning! I have tried very hard this week to UP the protein! I am having a MEGA protein shake in the morning that has 42g in it. I have eaten snacks of meat, some 20g protein bars I bought(no more than one a day) and a few nuts here and there. This does not seem to be working either! Darn. What is going to? I am not happy to go in there tomorrow and have yet again gained. I will be put in the "bad" category, what am I eating too much,etc. etc. Believe me, I do not even eat BREAD! I have exercised an HOUR yesterday and my usual 30 min walk outside today. What a glorious day it was here too. Protein and food have been good. But I can still eat too much. I ate a big salad out yesterday and I realized I was able to eat the entire thing with no problem. It had lots of protein on it which is why I ate it and tried to eat all the meat especially. But I just should NOT be able to eat that much! Well I am on my 11 month checkup, and NO restriction. Hmmmm...... I just cannot get this gaining STOPPED! man o man. I have found a new friend to talk to though. She is not far along on her LB journey and is doing well. She is trying to help and I SURE do not want to bring her down! She does not need that. I will go back to a support group with her maybe. Gotta keep trying something. Well bloggie, please help me to be calm tomorrow. Please do not let me get too upset by my gaining. I know it has happened. I am really trying hard. I am going to try to get to my ZEN place again before I go in there. These appts. are just very traumatic! I want to go in there and be HAPPY because I have LOST! Oh well.....I will see how it goes. Am dreading it.... :biggrin:
BioTeacher

BioTeacher

2
 

Still feeling low.

:thumbup: Well I am now out of school for the year! That is a good feeling! I NEED the rest and time to regroup :w00t: My daughter and I are joining the community center and will be lifting some weights and I intend to do a lot more exercise. Right now I still feel kind of tired. Even though I was off yesterday I am tired. School just wears me out. I read an article this week on the Spark that was about how working overtime makes you fat. Studies done, etc.that show it. Well, well what surprise that is! But there is nothing I can do about that! I have tried to evaluate how to make it easier and it just does not happen. Also does not leave me with lots of time to work out, etc. I am exhausted at the end of every day. Can barely get home, make a meal, clean it up, walk about 25 min, grade some stuff then go to bed at midnight. Weekends I catch up. Heavens if I have to get up early on a weekend. We go to church Sat night which I hate but is good for the catching up on sleep. Some Sundays I grade papers ALL DAY LONG. Oh well, BREAK time is here! Yeah! :biggrin: OK now the weight thing. I am going in Monday for my 11months. I think I have gained a couple more pounds. So I have lost maybe 35 lbs total. Have not lost a THING since November. I have to go to an open house for a family member and I have a sister in law who had a roux-en-y right before Christmas--she had lost 70 lbs. Who knows now? It is going to be HARD to look at her and not be upset. This is just not going the way I thought it would. By the time school was out I thought I would be maybe 20 lbs from goal. Well I am nowhere near that and not losing. I am struggling to not gain.... I need to lose about 65 lbs. and it is just not happening. Gosh I would like to lose 5 lbs a month?? I would get there eventually. So tired of this. I read the answer to my blog and have started just this week to eat very high protein with little or no carbs. However, I have fallen down at the end of the day a couple of times this week and had some fruit. It has been hard. Interesting that when I do this I feel really tired no matter what time of day it is and need to shut my eyes and sleep! My head starts to hurt and eyes hurt. Hmmmm.... The two days I ate so much protein I felt invigorated and good. Just ran into trouble on the other two. I did a BIG protein shake this morning adding 26g whey to 2c milk (16g) and the low sugar inst breakfast (5g). That is a whopper 47g for breakfast. I intend on having meat if I have anything else before dinner. There are some carbs there but am trying to do what was suggested to me. I think I will be able to now especially with school out. What I need to see if some RESULTS! If I start losing and I feel a lot better I will be motivated to go on. However, this is just like Atkins diet. I went on that once. Lost 13 lbs first month then like 5 then it stopped. As usual for me. But with the band, maybe this is different. So I go in Monday to weigh (great??) and probably get yelled at again. I have no idea if I will get a fill or not. I am not going to base my life and my outlook on that darn fill and it making a difference. I have done that every month since I started this mess and it has been a severe letdown every single time. What a rollercoaster ride this is! I also am NOT going to let the negativity from those in charge at my doc's office get me down. I will NOT let them do that to me. I am trying as hard as I can. I exercise DAILY with a fast walk at 20-30 minutes, I am drinking more water than ever, I gave up any caffeine, carbonated drinks, bread when eating out(I have NONE!! when I used to limit myself anyway!), and am writing down most of the time too. What else is there to do??????? I SELDOM feel any what I would call restriction. I have just about given up on hoping the the band is going to help me to restrict and stop eating at a very small amount. I do not eat much anyway but I guess it is too much..... I have a friend online who was struggling too. She just got a fill, said she now gets stopped and almost throws up at each meal. Has lost 7 lbs this month! How great! Where oh where is that for me! I told her she would get the throwing up figured out and quit eating at the right point. That will stop. Again I have another friend who had a roux-en-y and she did that but eventually knows exactly how much to eat and has done well. She has less in her band than me. I am so happy for her but man this is HARD to take. I think I have 6 1/2 in my 9 band. How much does it take? How much will they put in? I fear that they will say--hey that is it, we aren't putting any more in, it isn't safe so now it is all up to you. And guess what? I am not getting it done....... I know my doctor is very conservative. They told me this. Which is good, they have had almost no complications with their bands. But gee this is just not doing much for me. I just do not get any help from it, very, very little. Very disappointing after 11months.... Also I am SICK SICK SICK of the way I look! I have this big fat shelf belly that is gradually growing back. UGH, UGH!! I wanted to just look better this summer. UGH. So disappointing. I think my body has been on a diet so so so long it just adjusts to whatever level I am at. All thyroids been checked, are OK, I am not diabetic, had that test. I just suck! Well this is long, it is nice to have time to get it all out. Please don't read this if you want encouragement because it ain't here. This is just a place to POUR it out. I am gearing up now to go in Monday and getting in my ZEN place so I do not get upset when they tell me I am a failure... I just keep repeating "zen, zen, zen....." I will keep trying to exercise, eat lots of protein, not drink diet coke which I still love and MISS after a YEAR of not having it. Like it is doing any good.   Maybe the next fill will work.....ha. Do you believe this? I still have that little hope in there that I will finally get this.....later.
BioTeacher

BioTeacher

3
 

Problems with my son

:thumbup: Friday night I was woken up by the police slamming on my door. The son was too loud and someone--one of his dumb "friends" was running up and down the street with a loud car. I let them in his room to talk to him about it.   they hauled my son out of my own house to jail. This is not the first time. Things were just looking up for him, he is graduating from college, got a job part time for the first time in a long time. Not a great job but a job anyway. And now this. We will make him pay us back but we are out $2-3000 for lawyers and such. We have spent so much on them already. But from what we have seen he cannot go to court without one. Why am I writing this? Meanwhile I am supposed to be watching what I am eating. I could have ate a gallon of chocolate yesterday for sure. My husband who is thin got sick and could not eat. I get the opposite when upset. I guess my point is that there are a lot more things going on than just why am I not eating what I should? There are lots of problems and it is so hard. I have done really well not going crazy. Luckily I have several Lo cal things that are sweet that are helping. I still have exercised and yesterday a big walk. I just am not not losing. I am so stuck where I am since November. The fill I got has affected me a little bit but just is not doing the job. I am in my 11th month here. I just need that little boost --- something needs to go right! I guess that is it tonite blog. When will this kid change? Why can't he see that his friends are using him and now using us and that we are the only ones who have ever really supported and cared about him?? I don't feel like a good week is coming up. I will keep trying but keeping my attitude and chin up about all this weight stuff is just getting to be too hard. I don't have diet cokes anymore, and why? I am not losing, it is not helping? I don't eat any bread when eating out at all. I bring half my food home. And for WHAT!? This is tough....God please give me a break soon. :sad:
BioTeacher

BioTeacher

1
 

Fill Last Monday--still nothing!

:biggrin: I went in last Monday. Had a slight gain. I basically have lost nothing in 5 months. I am so tired of reading all these people losing, losing. What is wrong with me?? I am ten months out of surgery and here I am. Nothing happening on the scale. I can still pretty much eat whatever I want. Only thing I feel is stringy meat and today on an apple. That cannot be real restriction. I just continue to try to eat less, more protein, keep exercising. Keep hoping for something to start to happen... I have 6.5 in a 9 band. I feel in my heart that I need one more fill for a total of 7. Not sure why I think that but I do. School is about to let out and I thought I would be close to goal. What a laugh that one is. 60 more lbs. to go and no movement! CRAP. Anyway, I went in there Monday and just kept saying Zen, Zen, Zen, trying to keep on a positive note no matter HOW they treated me. I was not going to leave there crying again. The NURSE said that my doc is very conservative, does not fill fast so he has had like NO complications, etc. Told me it might take a good TWO years! Well OK but let's get this MOVING again. I am SICK SICK of looking like this and feeling like this. I just want to have some slow gradual LOSS!!! Help me GET somewhere!!!!!!!! OH well. More later. :thumbup:
BioTeacher

BioTeacher

2
 

I'm Gaining!

I am still having a time of it. I got on the scale and it is highest since surgery. I have GOT to get a handle on this! I do pretty well all day and then when I am most tired I eat dumb things. Not too bad bad stuff but things like too much peanut butter and and apple. Stuff like that. Today has been a good day. I hope to now make it to bed before I eat anything else. I think that is one key for me. For some reason I think I must eat to go to bed. How bent is that? Sometimes I am hungry and honestly I cannot sleep with growling stomach. But most of time I am just "rewarding" myself. I have got to try to break this. It is a LOOOONGG going problem though. Anyway I ate well today and what I think were controlled quantities. I kept the protein constant through the day. I just walked outside briskly about 30 min and all is well. Now I need about 365 more days like this one! Wow. :tongue2: Still not feeling the restriction much. Was eating some stringy white meat chicken and I felt something so I stopped and fed lots of it to the dog. But as far as just helping me stop, I just still don't get it. I am hoping to go in there in two weeks and just not gain but it is not looking good! Gotta get a handle here! I fully expect no more fills no matter what--and I just don't care any more....for sure... well more later. No eating before bed, no eating before bed.....keep repeating it... :smile2:
BioTeacher

BioTeacher

1
 

STill having trouble

:thumbup: I am about to go in next Monday with another month or 4 weeks of no weight loss. I have weighed the same since November 1st. I am scared that this is it. I cannot do this on my own. I have proven this over and over. I am craving sweets and am taking bites here and there and I know my dumb mind is letting me because I am NOT losing. this is my pattern. I will probably start to actually gain and will not stop until I do. I need SOMETHING to get started again. I exercise and walk just about every single day. Help, help help...
BioTeacher

BioTeacher

1
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