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we're all going on a summer holiday....

OOOh walking is hard when it's TOM :phanvan I did it though, just a lot more tiring than other times! How's your August going then? I'm feeling ultra positive which is good but could be hormonal and therefor prone to disappear with a poooft at any given second. I'll take it while it lasts though. I have absolutley no idea if I can make the targets I have set myself. Bodies (as we are all discovering) do weird and wonderful things and just cos you and your brain may be in cahoots that doesn't mean your body is gonna comply with a damned thing you want. Hey ho hum... I'm looking forward to my holiday (you guessed didn't you!?!?!?) and especially to having a pool to myself for a week. I can get in and out as I like and no-one to bother me-bliss. I will be walking when we go on excursions here and there but dunno if it will count as exercise since its more likely to be short bursts because of the heat. So the pool will be what I count as my main exercise for the week. I've thought through the eating situation while we are there. I am going to take some tuna and mayo light with me and a pack of protein drinks for breakfasts. Then I will take a tuppaware container and not go out to eat with the family each day...too much temptation and Greeks eat BIG...so hubby can take it with them and then bring me home some meat/fish and salad. I will go with them a couple of times in the week and then of course there is next Friday...Friday11th is my 5th wedding anniversary and I have promised myself for months and huge ice-cream. I havent had one all summer, so think of me then...slurping away and loving every single lick!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Dunno if I'll get chance to write before I leave so if not...see ya!

A1ikou

A1ikou

 

not much going on today....

I can't get the font thingy to work today and so it's simple black and white for me. I had a pretty lazy day today and by choice I didn't walk. I made a lovely roast beef dinner for hubby and number one step son...I ate a couple of pieces of meat and some brussel sprouts. They got roast potatoes and Yorkshire puddings. I slept 3hrs this afternoon which was nice but probably wont sleep well tonight now. Am now watching Oceans 11 on tv cos haven't seen it before. And that's it.

A1ikou

A1ikou

 

I've been thinking...

Are you sitting comfortably? Then I'll begin :biggrin1: I have been thinking about lots of different things these last few days. My moods have been up and down and kind of non existant which makes for many different thoughts. I was let down by a friend yesterday. In the whole scheme of life it was no big deal but I was disappointed and a little upset ('cos she didnt even call to say I couldn't visit after all) and suddenly the old demons took this as an opportunity to pay an unexpected visit. How can moods and often consequently eating change so damned suddenly? One minute I'm happy with my piece of chicken and my veg and am contemplating and afternoon at my friends. The next I'm thinking of nibbling anything and everything in the house and going out to find somethings that I don't have in the cupboards...a nice big ice-cream being top of the list. It's ridiculous :eek: to change so quickly. I guess it ultimately shows that maybe the demons will never go away and they live behind a very thin veil in our heads and are willing and happy to visit any chance we give them . What did I do? Aaah well, you'll be dead proud of me :clap2: I sat for over an hour thinking about food and about why I was thinking about food! I hadn't planned to do any exercise that afternoon because I was going out. So, I pulled on my trainers but couldn't for the life of me muster anything like enthusiasm for walking, aerobics ..nutting! I called another friend and while we were talking it got into my head to walk down to hubby's pharmacy. So I did! :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: (thought I deserved them). Now you have to understand that the pharmacy is no easy task...it's not too far and it's all flat or downhill...ahh but it is in Athens! The pavements are narrow and often have cars squished onto them...they are uneven and have these silly trees planted in the middle so I have to duck every ten seconds or walk in the road(I'm way too tall to live here)...which makes my knees hurt 'cos the curb sides are so high to step back onto...Anyway I did it. Used to take me 40mins the last couple of times I tried it. This time it took me 25 which wasn't bad (but maybe am still not as fit as I think I am now). And that was that. Didn't touch a single thing I shouldn't have and had a good walk instead. I have been thinking about some other things too but I know there's only so much you can take in one sitting so I wont bore you silly (and I'll have none of those.."too late"comments thank you very much!)

A1ikou

A1ikou

 

It's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

Hey, I'm back! I have been lurking here and there for a while and thought I'd write in my journal and give an update. I'm still hanging around 294...I gain and lose 2lbs in the last few days. Still the same old pattern, I lose huge (usually between 7-11lbs) seemingly overnight and then no matter what I do I can't lose another thing for two to three weeks. We all do our own things and this is the way its going for me. 11 days left to me 6mth anniversary. If I am lucky I can be down 90lbs(ish) by then and so I'm trying really hard to be the best I can be for the next 10 days or so. If I make 90lbs down then I have promised myself hubby will take me out to eat prawns (he doesnt know yet:kiss ). There is a place near the port that makes the most amazing shellfish dishes... After the 6mth thing, it's a couple of weeks until the 2 weddings we have to go to. The dress I want to wear fits now (even round the hips) and I am so looking forward to dressing up in something I have never been able to wear before. I will take pictures and post them when the time comes. That's all..I'll be back when I'm back.

A1ikou

A1ikou

 

Confession time...

I blew it... For the first time in my five months since banding I don't feel in control. I have been feeling generally blue the last couple of days and can't say why...not TOM or anything and nothing going wrong in life etc I just am! Today I wasn't bad when I woke up and started off OK by just eating a yoghurt for breakfast. I did some errands and house jobs and then I got ready to walk on my treadmill...my knee was killing me. I put on my brace and tried again. I even tried to walk limping and holding on to bars...no can do. I don't remember doing anything to my knee, it just went. I started nibbling and have just eaten and eaten since...another yoghurt, with chocolate bits, an egg and cheese sandwich 2 cookies from upstairs an ice-cream and a bag of chips and an iced coffee with sugar..God knows what my suagr levles will be now. To be honest I dunno how it all went down...was over a few hours mind and I feel stuffed and sad and deflated and out of control...I am scared to death that now I did this I wont be able to stop myself and I don't want to feel like that again... Hopefully I can take stock and when knee is better tomorrow i'll just get back on doing what I was doing. We're all human but this came from nowhere and it's scary the power these damned demons have when they finally get a hold... Am not going to give in to this mood..I will be better and I will move on...to tomorrow then!

A1ikou

A1ikou

 

Weigh Day

I got weighed this morning and was -6lbs which is good but only -2lbs from where I was a couple of weeks ago:phanvan Anyway, at least it's gone! :clap2: I'm hoping (she says not really believing it) that July will bring a more steady weightloss and that this yo-yo stuff can be put to bed once and for all. I upped my time on the treadmill again yesterday and am now up to 2x 30min walks. Not bad for less than a month to double both the time and the speed. I want to continue to increase the speed little by little so that in my hour walks I am walking further and pushing my body more but I'm not going to overdo it because my back and my knees are coping with this level...if I feel any pain I'll back off a little. We have reached the end of the GFG monthly challenge and I've posted my results...have been up since 6am and already walked 30mins and drunk 2 litres water and I know what I'm eating today! Will I do next months challenge? Right now I don't think so. I don't like being accountable for weight I can do nothing about and I know I am motivated to do this for myself (and a few friends who keep me on the right path). I'll think it over for today but I think the next few weeks I want to do it alone! If I make a mess of it I'll be the first to sign up again for August! Not much else to report really. It's hot and sunny and I'm thankful for air-conditioners! I'm in the week leading up to my time of the month and it's always the hardest for me 'cos my hormones are all over the show. Right now I'm fighting off those doubts that keep cropping up..."you can't do this...the weightloss will stop...you wont lose what you want...you Will fail"...countered with my "oh yes I will...look what I did already...why shouldn't 'it' work if I do?" kind of thoughts! By this time next week everything will seem all nicely balanced again!

A1ikou

A1ikou

 

swimming day...

Hello world, Had a really nice day today ) Last night was getting a pre-period migraine and thought it might linger but went to bed early and it left. So today I got up and did a few things and then went with Jordan's cousin and her little girl (visiting from New York) to my hotel. We were the only ones there :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: We had the pool to ourselves for an hour and a half and it was delicious....warm and empty!!! I swam and when not swimming I never put my feet down and I work my arms as much as I can. We ordered lunch and she was laughing that my eat ways...told her about band...made her think twice about she was eating too. I managed about 1/3 of my roast beef salad and enjoyed it. Jordan came to get us at 3:30pm and little Katerini (3) fell asleep in the car on way home- busy day I slept too for a while when I got back and now am just trying to get in the rest of my water for the day. Quiet day at home tomorrow and then we are going to have a goodbye family get together since they leave on Saturday morning. Jordan has a day off from pharmacy in September and since its a Thursday he's thinking of taking the Friday too and making a 4 day break. He wants to go hiking in his beloved Ipperous mountains. If he goes then Im gonna treat myself to a couple of days staying in the hotel so i can swim and the just toddle off back to my room to chill...good idea yeah?

A1ikou

A1ikou

 

getting easier

As each day goes by and I don't look at the scale it gets easier and easier. I am back on track in so many ways and not jumping on the scale every day makes it easier to stay positive and believe that the weight is just dropping off. O.K, like most things the downside will be when I do finally get weighed if I'm no where near where I want to be, but then I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. For now it's absolutley the right thing for me to do. I have avoided eating with others quite well but we have a family meal (out) tonight and I haven't decided what to do. I think I will go for company but not eat anything. As much as anything else, it's bound to be after 9pm and I don't like eating so late. Last time I tried meat so late, it got stuck...didn't pb but was touch and go. Don't want to be in a situation where I'll possibly pb a) in public with no near bathroom (we're talking tiny Greek taverna here) and b)with people who don't know about my band. Sooooo, I'll eat before we go out and just sit with my water... Walked half an hour this morning with no problems and should be able to do the same again this afternoon. Got more than half my water in for day and it's only 1:30pm so doing well. Am gonna go and read a while and have a Greek siesta (welllll why not eh?). See ya over the weekend.

A1ikou

A1ikou

 

Sabotaging everything...

I was right...didn't lose anything this week. Now I have to get over a stupid little mind game I play with myself...maybe it sounds familiar? Weight didn't go down so diet not working ....if diet not working why bother....therefore I have to right to eat what I want! I know it's ridiculous and I know my band is working fine...I just need my infantile brain to catch up with this logic! I have been resisting the temptation to nibble...anything and everything ...all day. Not the most positive of days but the weekend is finishing and tomorrow starts a new week and I'm usually pretty good at new weeks :nervous

A1ikou

A1ikou

 

Yo!

Let's have this colour for August shall we? Where does the time go? Summer is wending it's merry way and before we all know it, it'll be time for those leaves to change their colours and begin to fall. I have just less than 2mths to my 6mths since my operation. Things are going well but they could be even better. I feel like an executive in some state of the art business..."I have targets to meet...deadlines d'you hear!" Well in my case more like lifelines I hope. I am determined for the next two months to work my ass off and be the best I can be...why? Well I have 30lbs to lose for my 100lbs and if I can't make that (I know it's possible...hard but possible) then I want to be as near to it as I can...within licking distance LOL. How am I going to do this? Welllllllllll... 1. Walking 2x six days a week. I am at just over a mile each time I walk for 30mins and so I need to increase my speed as I go along. (I am on holiday next week and so it will be at least one hour swimming each day in the pool). 2. No bread. I love my toasted sandwich but am going to forgo it for the sake of 30lbs... 3. More water. I don't do bad with water but I think another half a litre a day will top the balance in my favour. 4. No getting down and depressed if the scale doesnt drop each week. I am finally coming to terms with this happening. That's about it. No big secret, no big master plan. I'll keep eating what I eat cos it's the right stuff. I may keep a better eye on my portions but not change anything else. And we shall see...

A1ikou

A1ikou

 

Hi diddle-di-di...

Yo! I'm in a pretty good mood today...anyone who says "makes a change..." will be...erm...I have no idea:confused: Generally, I dont have a BP problem but for some (hormonal) reason it tends to go up at period time...I know I've said this before. Anyway, I've been keeping a close eye on it this month and as soon as I see it rise the doc has given me a tablet to break into quarters and take one piece a day for four days. Hopefully this will ride out the storm and keep the levels from getting on the high side...we shall see. My sugar levels are so low at the moment I'm taking only a tiny amount of insulin in the mornings to work alongside my food throughout the day. If this trend continues I would like to think that in just a short while I won't need insulin (and hopefully nothing in its place) for my diabetes...:clap2: Me and Arthur (my treadmill...see earlier post for meaning) are still getting along really well and I keep moving the goal posts by either increasing my time or my speed...I will be doing a decent walk at a decent pace by the end of the summer and when I next go to England and my mum wants to go for a walk around the fields and farmlands, I'll be in a condition to go with her.:biggrin1: I had to go to my first Greek funeral yesterday. Jordan's grandmum had passed away. There was a sadness at her not being here but a recognition of her having lived a great life ..96 and not suffering in anyway either in life or at the end. The funeral wasn't too bad but it was over 100 degrees in the church and that was horrible! There was one thing that really struck me as funny...outside the church, near the car park, there was a man with a bike and trailer selling ice-creams :omg: Can you imagine putting someone who you loved enough to be at their funeral, in their grave and then nipping outside for a nice cool vanilla cone?????????????? Wonder how much business he does LOL?

A1ikou

A1ikou

 

Wednesday is weigh day.......

Weigh day :gluck: ...well the official one cos I've been peeking almost every day recently! I am determined to not look for the next week I this week which puts me over 60lbs down...:wow2: :wow2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: Can you tell I'm impressed with myself. Somehow being in the 60's makes that elusive 100lb seem oh so much more attainable. AND...I've only 14lbs left to get out of the 300's forever. :hungry: I made myself a sandwich today...which was planned! I decided today was the best day to indulge cos if my weight was up or stable I could commiserate with myself and if it was down I could reward myself and still have most of the week left to be extra good! What d'you mean:faint: ? I got up early this morning :bored so that I could get my walk in...and boy did it feel like work! I think because it was done after so little other movement. Usually I walk a little later in the morning. I have to do both my walks before 2pm on work days cos when I get home in the evening I'm tired and basically not in the mood. Still, only next week to get through and then I am free for the rest of the summer. I don't start again until the middle of September. Had my first ever web-cam conversation last night with my friend Maurine...was fun and we had a laugh!:biggrin1: I have a good time and smile and laugh a lot with all my new friends on LBT and thought while I was here I'd just say "Thank you":biggrin1: :biggrin1: :biggrin1: :biggrin1: :biggrin1: :biggrin1:

A1ikou

A1ikou

 

Fill Me Up Doc!!!!!!!

Well what a palarva! I went yesterday for my 2nd fill. Since my first fill was almost a disaster, I will now only let my surgeon do them and not members of his team! Since so many people ask me on here and I honestly didn't know, I decided to ask about my band...how big, how many cc's etc? His reply...ahh you don't need to know that...I'll take care of everything!:omg: :faint: What could I do? If the doc don't want to tell me I can't exactly make him LOL and so I'll do what he said and trust him. Apart from that, everything went fine. He did the fill in a few seconds it seemed and said hopefully now I would start to feel some restriction:clap2: I drank water fine while I was there and again when I got home. Today and tomorrow I'm on soups and everything seems OK. I'll let you know what happens when I get back onto foods and if there is actually any difference. What else? Went for a walk this morning into town and bought myself some body butter from the Body Shop...smells so good you could eat it...well it would be a soft food LOL They gave me a nice sarong as a gift and it's the same colour as my new swimming cossie so that was good I treated myself to some new mascara and nail polish while I was out. I need a hat too but couldn't find one that I liked. I'm not used to wearing hats so I guess I just felt self conscious in all of them. I called in the supermarket to get some cuppa soups and thats about it. Later!

A1ikou

A1ikou

 

parting news...

Hey, I'm out of here for a while...When I come back and catch up my journal I'll hopefully be pounds down. My main parting news is I finally got out of those 300's :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: I am of this evening (stuff September lol) 294lbs. Loads dropped off in last 10 days so it will probably stick for a while now. I will be back- just don't know when. Thanks for reading And goodnight :notagree

A1ikou

A1ikou

 

I know...I know...

Yo! OK I know I should keep writing to keep you guys entertained with my exploits...OI....wake up:notagree ! I'm bored...weight is the same and nothing else to report so I'll write when I'm more inclined... Tomorrow maybe???????????

A1ikou

A1ikou

 

Told you so...

Told you I'd go swimming again...and I did- today. Hubby has moved to summer hours for a couple of months so this means I get to go swimming mid-week for a while. He is finishing work every day betweeen 2:30-3pm. I went in a taxi this morning to the hotel (it's about half an hour away) and it was virtually empty. My friend met me there and we sat and chatted, drank water and sunbathed for a while. Then the pool emptied and we got in. We were on the move for about an hour...swimming and doing arm work and having a good time just the two of us and a nice big warm pool.:biggrin1: Then she got out and I carried on with my wrinkly fingers for a while longer. She ordered lunch and I had a tuna salad. Then we moved to the lounges and chilled for an hour before showers and a light spot of reading until hubby came. All in all a most delightful day...until next week then:clap2: I came home and walked a mile on my treadmill...so if weight is still the same tomorrow it's not for lack of trying.

A1ikou

A1ikou

 

some days....

Bloody awful day...weightloss completely stopped and now to add insult to injury my hair is falling out... not in mood for writing guys...will tomorrow maybe

A1ikou

A1ikou

 

whyohwhyohwhyohwhy..ummmmmmm?

Haven't lost any weight this week...wasn't surprised after 9lbs last week figured my body might still be in shock. I have been walking and eating well but STILL I felt disappointed and in a moment of weakness I succumbed to some chips....felt bad as soon as I'd eaten them and they cost me my bonus on an almost perfect week with the Gone for Good club :phanvan Am really mad at myself now:mad: Oh well..lets start another week of trying! Going away for the weekend and so lots of swimming. I won't eat badly either cos if nothing else...Im determined! The one good from this "bad" moment is my attitude. Before my band I would have immediately thought...oh well diet blown now might as well eat...and now all I want to do is get back to feeling good! :clap2: So not a -complete- disaster then!?!?!??!

A1ikou

A1ikou

 

I'm back in the swing...

Ok so thankfully my down moods don't last very long and yesterday I was much better and today I'm positively chipper! I can't do anything about my now rapidly thinning hair...along the top and the crown is worst. I look like I have an extra wide parting if that makes sense but careful, gentle brushing can cover up the worst of it. It must have been happening gradually cos it was hubby who noticed it and I havent been losing lots of hair in one go so to speak. So anyway, I've got some pills and some shampoo (they have different names here) and I'll continue to do the best I know how to do. Same goes for my weightloss really. It has to drop at some point, there's no logic in it not doing:confused: I've added an extra protein shake to my diet each day and this adds 20g of protein and 200cals so does 2 jobs. I have begun to do an aerobics dvd I have. I was chuffed cos I used to only be able to do a few mins but now I can do the 15min warm up and a bit more. I want to build it up slowly simply cos of fear for my knees but so far so good and it's a different kind of exercise from treadmill so should be good. Dunno how long it will be before I can do the whole thing LOL...one step at a time folks! Think hubby is feeling sorry for me 'cos he's volunteered to take me for a day out on Saturday. We still haven't decided where we are going but a trip is a trip is a trip! We might get to see our 'cumbara'- Greek for best man and his wife and then go into Nafplio which is a town I love..we'll see. Swimming is now gonna be Tues or Wed each week cos it was nicer and quieter...probably Wednesday now. That's all really. It was J's dad and son's name day yesterday because they are both called illias and today is his dad's birthday too. The family have come to eat Moussaka but I have been excused attending on account of it's too carb based and not good for my sugar. I ate cold pork from last night and peas. On a final note...my sugar levels this week have been perfect and I havent needed insulin...we are going to chat with doc about it tonight cos sometimes it still rises but this week its been in 80's when I wake and no more than 120 all day. In 7yrs being diabetic it has never ever been so good.:clap2:

A1ikou

A1ikou

 

utterly miserable

I haven't felt so sad for the longest time. It's like a huge weight in my heart and now it's gotten hold it doesn't want to let go. I went away for the weekend and had a lovely time. I ate out but didn't go mad and I swam and walked to make sure I kept up my exercise. Came home and this morning got weighed...both my analogue scale and my mother-in-laws digital say I gained 8lbs. Don't want to talk, don't want to eat dont want to exercise...what's the damned point? Just leave me to cry it out :think

A1ikou

A1ikou

 

Sunday got here again eh?

We went out for the day yesterday and it was a lonnnnnnnnnnnnng trip finally. We were out for 12hrs and travelling for 9 of them- poooft. So, I slept like a baby last night which was good because I was really, really tired. I had a mini lie-in this morning until 9:30am and felt good. Walked on treadmill and cooked Sunday lunch...chicken...and that's about it. Short and sweet today...oh yeah...peeked at scale and so far this week I'm like :biggrin1: :clap2: :biggrin1: :clap2: :biggrin1: Makes a change eh?

A1ikou

A1ikou

 

Well hello there everybody...

Yo! I'm in a pretty good mood today :omg: -yeah- shock, horror, gasp! I haven't done anything special to warrant this, I must have just gotten out of the right side of the bed., I'm really happy and excited about going on the LBT cruise. I will get to meet some of you and it'll be a big adventure. It's a huge motivator too, simply because I want to be fit and healthy to both cope with all the travelling to get there and to be able to make the best of the whole trip. So it's on with the exercise and staying good with the food. Having it so far ahead of me gives me something good to focus on for those days when maybe I'm not feeling so motivated. I am doing well with getting lots of protein in these days and I am using my new shampoo and capsules that hubby got me and we will see if they make a difference to my hair. Right now I'm not sure if its staying the same or getting a little worse, depends on how my hair lies at any given moment. Still, if this is a downside to losing the weight and getting healthier then I will take it. My diabetes doc was chuffed to pieces last night when we told him my levels and how much I have lost :clap2: He said that once I can take 10units only of insulin a day and not have my levels rise above 150 then I'll be at the stage to cut the insulin altogether and have a general maintanance pill like avandia...he also said at this rate I'll be completely drug free at some point very soon :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: For someone who has had unstable levels and high levels since diagnosis 7yrs ago this is the best news and worth the band even if (and I know I will) never lost another pound. Oh happy me :biggrin1:

A1ikou

A1ikou

 

weigh day...

Think some things are taking their toll...mainly the sun. With going swimming so much I have been out in the heat 10x more than I usually do in the summer. Today after my swim and lunch I didn't feel 100%, not terrible but I was tired and had enough of the sun (even though was sat in shade!!!). Came home, had a nap and feel better now. No walking today though. After all the frustrations of last couple of weeks, I have now gone and dropped 8lbs...I suppose I should accept thats just the way it's going to be for me. fab on the days I lose and annoying as hell the weeks I dont! Anyway another 8lbs gone...:clap2: :clap2: and now only 1lb from 70 gone and 6lbs from twoterville...not been there in a long time!

A1ikou

A1ikou

 

I have decided

I decided to erase my score card from GFG this month. I wasn't really enjoying the challenge and I have decided to give the scale a break for a while and just not get weighed. My weightloss pattern and my personality mean getting weighed all the time doesn't make me feel good and so I decided once a month! Yep...a month. I am having some physical probs too that I'm trying to overcome steadily and healthily and so not feeling accountable to a scorecard makes the whole thing calmer for me. My leg is much better now and so I do believe it was just a cramp from lack of salts in my body...now fixed with capsule for a while. I called my doc about a 3rd fill but he's in Australia until 10th September. So, I decided, rather than go to the clinic in Athens, I'll keep going til he gets back and see where I'm at by that point. Maybe I need a fill truely and maybe I need to get back to some decent level of exercise which haven't had since vacation with one thing and another. There...decisions made...

A1ikou

A1ikou

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