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My weight is stressing me out!

It really sucks. I went from 210 last May back to my starting weight of 240. Its so freaking stressful and frustrading. I don't really know what I want to do. I want surgery, then I don't, then I do. I feel like I'm trying to do it on my own, there's way too many temptations inbthis house and too uch junk food. I feel like I try and my mom too...but we give in. I try to watch what I eat but sometimes I just say screw it, what's the point anymore. I feel like its too hard on my own. At least when I had the band I felt full and and didn't early think about foodas much as I do now. I'm constatly thinking about food non stop and I never feel full. I'm scared that one day I'll wake up and I'll be 300 to 400 pounds. I feel like my family is all against my choice of WLS again. Wish they can just say "do whatever you think is best for you, we will support you along the way" I wish :/ makes weight loss that much more stressful when you feel like youdont have the right support from your own family. I wouldn't have gotten weight loss surgery the last timevifvi didn't think ivneed the help.
Erin18

Erin18

6
 

i don't think anyone reads these blogs anymore...

So, I think I have decided to go through with surgery. So first thing is first, I'm going to set up an appointment with my surgeon, hopefully I can get in some time in April. I'm going to just talk to him about the surgery choices. I'm really thinking about Plication surgery. I d9nt care how long it'll take to get approved as long as its after July. It'd be awesome if I could get approved right off but I know I won't. Plus I just want to talk to him about it and tell him I'm interested in Plication and see what we can do from there. I don't care what my family will say, I'm doing this for myself. Yes I know its very, very scary, I'm scared too, but I don't see myself losing weight any other way, at least I will have a tool to help me half the way.
Erin18

Erin18

3
 

Feel like a major failure.

i'm gaining, instead of losing.   im hungry most of the time and then again i skip meals   not exercising, dont have motivation.   i dont know i seem like i cant do anything right.   i guess i'm going to have to live my life being fat.   can't find the help anywhere and not even on here it seems.   i hate myself for letting me get this way.   i'll never get to goal and i know it..
Erin18

Erin18

2
 

Do you find it helpful, or no?

To count your calories and write down what you are eating?   Why do you think it's helping you?   I definitely think it's working for me because I started counting calories again and on monday I weighed 218 and today I weigh 216 and the begining of last week I was weighing in at 220! But I wasn't counting my calories then.   As long as it's going in the right way right?   I plan the day before or just before I eat something because usually I don't know what to have. I make sure I'm either under 1,500 calories or 1,200 calories and I'm hoping to get 63+ grams of protein a day.   Now I'm writting down my workout/exercise stuff too like for every ten mins I'm on here, I'll go do some kind of exercise or workout for 5 mins (I just started that today) when the 10 mins are up   And I'm check marking off each 5 mins I do and everyday the workouts will be different so i don't get bored and when I am finished I will write down what kind of workouts I did today like today I did cardio boxing on the yourshape kinect game and its exactly 5 mins and then I just did this other boxing one where you punch and kick the boxes. It's fun (:   What do you all think about my plan?  
Erin18

Erin18

7
 

how did your first week go?

from day one to day 7, how was it? did you feel nauseated, tired, excited, etc. what did you eat for breakfast lunch and dinner? when did you start feeling like your self again? did you have any pains? how was the gas pains and how did you get rid of them? just tell me how your first 7 days went (: and you can say week one and 4 days too my first 3 days were horrible, day 4 was a bit better, i have side pains, and a little bit of gas that doesnt want to go away, i havent went #2 yet and its frustrating, i started to feel like myself today just a little bit. so just share, answer the questions please (:
Erin18

Erin18

5
 

stressed and discouraged

hey, so i feel really stressed and discouraged. i dont feel like doing anything. im always craving the bad stuff. i havent been making good food choices. sometimes i can barely eat, i dont feel like i eat enough which doesnt make sense. i cant motivated myself to exercise, i feel like nothing is happening for me. im getting depressed about it more and more each day. i dont want to talk to anyone about it but i wish i had someone to do this with and i dont, im all by myself on this one. maybe i need a fill i dont know.     i really dont know what to do. i try to to start working out or try to go somewhere where it includes some sort of exercise without noticing...its really lame
Erin18

Erin18

3
 

Senior banquet/High School graduation challenge

so i'm not sure exactly when senior banquet is, but i heard it was june 12th. and graduation is june 26th. so i want to challenge myself to lose between 45-58 pounds by senior banquet, and if i get almost there by senior banquet, hope to get there by graduation. is it doable to lose 45-58 pounds by then? how many cals should i be having a day since i have no fills because i dont have insurance right now and it doesnt look like i will be getting one anytime soon everytime i want to workout, i end up "not feeling like it anymore" and i know i have to push myself to do it, but it dont work. so i dont know how this is going to work out. can someone motivate me everyday or something? i want to hang up a goal outfit but its not going to happen cause i have no room on my walls and on a hanger doesnt look as motivating. and one more thing, you can also join me if you want (:
Erin18

Erin18

3
 

what size should i get?

so you should know i'm getting banded on july 31st if you seen any of the threads i posted or my profile (: but my cousin's wedding is on october 17th and there's this dress i want and i want to wear it to the wedding, but thing is, is that i need to buy it online because they dont have it in the store. and i need to buy it now because i wont have the money then (because i am starting to save for two tattoos and a car after september 11th). so i was wondering what size i should get, a medium(7-9) or a large(9-11), the marterial that this clothing brand has is kind of stretchy(its by Tripp NYC and i love the clothing brand)   This is the dress i want...i lovvvvve it! just can't decide which size i should get, get a large and get it taylored when i lose more weight or just get a medium? ahh i really want to get this now cause i cant wait just help me choose a size?   the measurements for large-size 11 are bust 37 waist 30 and hips 40...help? ----> dress
Erin18

Erin18

4
 

Excess skin, hmh

i'm not banded yet, and i haven't gotten my date yet(most likely will get it on july 8th). but im kind of concerned about the excess skin. i was told that since im still quite young, i wont have as much. I only need to lose 113-116 pounds to get to my final goal weight, should i still be fine? i dont care if i have a little, but i want my tummy to be flat, and i want to be able to wear a bikini with confidence next year, and i want to beable to get the tattoo i want without the skin hanging over it (i want it on my hip bones) i dont want to have to worry about getting a tummy tuck or anything like that, just keep doing cardio :redface:
Erin18

Erin18

2
 

things I like to do for fun(form of excersise)

1.hiking 2.Frisbee 3.Swimming 4.Walking outside 5.My teather tennis ball throwing game thing 6.volley ball 7.badmitten 8.catch 9.going to the park 10.grooming horses, horseback riding, walking them around 11.Dance Dance Revolution 12.shopping 13.the fair(does that count? i say it does cuz you need to walk around to get to the ride you want, plus there are games to play that you need your arms for) if i had a trampoline, i'd be on it everyday, i love them and i always have fun on them =/ dont have the money tho i would love bike riding if the road wasnt so busy but i can find a diff place to ride a bike id like to go rollerblading if i had some i think thats all lol kay laterz <3
Erin18

Erin18

3
 

can having this make you nauseated?

can having phlem in your throat make you nauseated? i try to get it out but i cant, everytime i try i gag and then i swallow it back down, its so gross, i cant sit up for long without feeling nauseated and the feeling in my throat is there, is there an easy way to get it out? yet i think i feel nauseated cause phelm or whatever is in my throat is there.. i tried soups and it didnt work, oh and i have pain all over my stomach too well mainly where the band and port is and i cant see my dr till next wednesday. just wondering if that can make you sick to your stomach/nauseated? i have really great nausea meds too but apparently i cant take them anymore cause im alergic to them. oh and i was wandering what a slippage felt like out of curiosity.
Erin18

Erin18

1
 

breakfast, lunch, and dinner

what do you eat for those on mushy weeks? im getting bored with eating the same things every day.. and i never could think of anything to have for them it sucks. so what do you eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner? i know theres recipies and stuff but i dont know, i need a different variety.
Erin18

Erin18

1
 

July 31st is my surgery date

so okay, im excited butttt extremely nervous O.o, what basic things should i bring? what things should i always keep on mind before and after surgery? will they tell me how much i should be eating after surgery? like calories? i wont be going to the gym cuz i cant afford it, so ill be using seventeen magazine exercises, biggest loser workout video, and wii fit, and yes outside activities. i had a lot of things i wanted to talk about but i lost my thought..=/ but ill take our lapband for life book and read it. wow, okayy. i have piercings (as you can see) i have 11 piercings, mostly in my ears, nose, tongue and lip, i just hope i can wear retainers so i wont have to stress about them closing up, hmm. i hope someone will walk with me everyday, treadmil gets very boring. well alright, if i can remember what i wanted to talk about, ill edit this (:
Erin18

Erin18

1
 

how would i do that?

soo if i do get banded next month, what do i do for when i go back to school in september(im going to be a senior in highschool, and no i didnt fail any years, had prefirst)? I mean for like breakfast, i get up at 5 when school is in seccession and thats when i have breakfast, i get ready at 5:55, leave to go to school at 6:50, lunch isnt usually til 10:32-1:24pm and i wont be having a lunch period because im going to CV-Tec for cosmetology(its like a college you can take during highschool if you like, the school pays for it, its also for anyone else thats out of school too ) and the classes i want to take fill up all my periods and i hate eating infront of people, thats why i skipped lunch most of the time and i know its not good but im embarrassed, im working to fix that, maybe by time school gets here ill be some pounds lighter and more confindent, what would i bring for lunch? what would be good? oh and how would i beable to exercise? i have a job, which i work twice a week and its a cleaning job (yuck) and i might be getting another job so ill be working 5 days a week. I wont be getting home from school til 3:05pm (i would be getting home at 2:30 but do to cv-tec class) on monday's and thursdays i clean from 4-8pm and i want my other job to be on tuesdays, wednesdays(4-8pm), and saturday(10am-4pm) i might get another cleaning job at a hotel or something, so will those be counted as exercise? O.o ugh i cant think of whatelse i was going to say
Erin18

Erin18

1
 

fun activities that you'll never get bored with (:

can you help me make a list? Mainly fall and winter ideas please (: 1.Walking with a close friend or even a group of close friends. 2.Taking some fall folliage photos (walking around) 3.Shopping 4.Chasing your children, neices/nephews around, have them play games like a chasing game 5.Playing the wii, wii sports, wii active, anything, wii sports is pretty fun 6.DDR 7.Dancing Help (:
Erin18

Erin18

0
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