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New start

Okay, I'm gettting some new motivation. I've been hovering between 251 and 253 this week. Not bad considering I'm on a mini vacation from work and I am finally able to eat as my band has loosened up a bit. I'm determined to get under 250 (on my home scale!!). I bought a tennis racquet and two sets of tennis balls as I only had one racquet and I'm trying to convince some of my friends to play tennis with me in the evenings. I'm kind of burned out on the gym, and singles tennis is great exercise and I like to play competitive games. The only problem is that none of my friends actually play tennis, hence me buying an extra racquet. But I figure even if we chase the balls around, it's good exercise. The weather however has not been cooperating. It has been raining hard for 2 weeks straight. Even if it's not raining, the ground is so wet, it's sure to mean soggy tennis balls. I'm hoping it clears up this week so I can add evening tennis to my activities. I plan to go to the gym regularly this week, add in tennis and walking the dog, and go through my closet. Literally 90% of the clothes I own I cannot wear due to them being way too big. This is a great feeling, but also leaves me with nothing to wear. I went to Macy's for their memorial day sale and bought three shirts and a pair of pants for $50. I am in an 18W in the plus size in the tops and bottoms, though the pants are kind of big on me. As for eating, I need to log my food this week, and eat protein, protein, protein! I still have good restriction, so I should lose weight if I eat enough protein each day and exercise. I also am determined to get out of this loneliness/boredom funk by keeping my schedule busy exercising, cleaning out my closet, and I also bought a new book to read. I told my boyfriend I thought we should cool out for like a week because I've been really emotional and have been bitchy with him. He doesn't understand and asked why I can't talk to him if there's something stressing me out in my life. I plan to tell him about the surgery when we have some time alone together--which we haven't lately. We've spent alot of time together, but it's been with friends and his famly around. The time has come to tell him, I just HATE talking about weight with a boyfriend and it's very awkward for me to bring up the surgery. I also have no idea what his reaction will be or how I'm going to bring it up. I have to go back to work tomorrow, which I'm not really looking forward to, though it will give me structure and hopefully keep me busy so I get out of this loneliness/boredom funk. I work the rest of this week, all of next week, and then I'm off for a week. I don't really have any plans, as my money is tight. I'm hoping to use it as a time to get grounded and just focus on myself and get myself together. I need to get back to being the productive, motivated, happy person that I have been, and not this emotional, needy, anxious, person that I seem to have become the last couple of weeks. I need to keep focused on my goals!!!!
trina4ufl

trina4ufl

1
 

Nsv

Non Scale Victory: Yesterday I tried on my size 18W pants that I bought from Dillards and they fit with room to spare. I tried on the same brand pants in 16W and they fit but were a little tight. Now, granted, they are a good name brand that usually has generous sizes, but still, these are the smallest pants I own. I also went out last night with a couple of my friends and they pointed out that this good looking guy was checking me out and looking at my butt.   In bad news, I've been eating unhealthy food for the past two days. I did get a french fry stuck though it wiggled it's way down, so I don't think I'll be craving french fries anytime soon. I'm going to the grocery store to get healthy food to eat today, so I won't be tempted. I guess old habits are hard to break. When I go out and see my friends ordering french fries and sandwiches, that's what I want too. Luckily, my band is working for me in that I couldn't eat even half of what I ordered, so I took it home, but the bad news is that I ate the leftovers for breakfast, instead of giving them to my friends or throwing them away which I what I did before to break my bad eating cycle.   I have been kicking butt at the gym so hopefully that will make up for some of it. Spark People actually had a message saying, "You have burned signficantly more calories than your goal. Your daily calorie goal will not automatically adjust. Do you want to change your goals?" However, this is still not an excuse for eating poorly. The worst part is that I exceeded my calories by alot, but was still under my goal in protein...grrrr! New week, new start!
trina4ufl

trina4ufl

3
 

Lap Band Paperwork/PCP Appt.

Okay, so I went to my primary care doctor today, with all my paperwork. I was nervous to ask her for the letter of medical necessity so I talked about my foot first. Apparently I have heel spurs and she suggested orthopedic shoes. Uggh! I think I"m going to try a heel pad. She mentioned that it can come from excess weight. I think she was just about to suggest some kind of new diet....ugh..That was the perfect opportunity to bring up the fact that I wanted lap band surgery. She looked king of confused, then looked through my chart. Well, you do qualify, she said..and then pondered it. She said, well, what about RNY instead? It has more proven results. She's big on proven research. I asked her for Seasonale birth control a year ago and she said no because there wasn't enough research on the long term results. I told her that I felt that Lap Band was better for me and cited the reasons. She said she' d had two patients that it had failed on. I asked her what she meant by failed (ie. did they die or what?) She said they ate around the band and gained the weight back and you had to be very committed if the band was going to work. I told her that's me exactly. Because I am very committed. I pointed out that I lost 77 pounds two years ago on weight watchers and the gym I go to told me I'd gone to the gym more days that year than any other member. Then she seemed to get excited about it because she started typing (my letter, maybe?) and started piling up my justifications for surgery or my insurance (heel spurs now...back pain, joint pain, she said my blood pressure was borderline, I told her that my back hurt and she said, "Excellent!" She measured my waist, ordered a chest xray, ordered the Thyroid test, a diabetes/insulin test (not sure why) and a bunch of other blood tests. She wanted a stress test, but later decided they'd deny it, because of my lack of symptoms. Then she told me she wouldn't approve it unless I quit smoking. I told her I wanted to do that anyway. She said I had to quit at least 2 weeks before surgery. She told me she'd see me again before surgery and I had to quit before she'd give me clearance and not to lie about it. I agreed not to lie. I have issues with lying to a doctor who's in charge of my health and safety. I don't think I'd ever lie to my doc, what's the point? Anyway, I told her I probably needed help quitting and she suggested Chiabix? However, my insurance doesn't cover smoking cessation (i know, crazy) and i heard it's expensive, so I suggested Wellbutrin, because that's also an antidepressant, so I think they'll cover it. She prescribed that and Xanax because she said I'll be bitchy. No argument there. She made an appointment in a month and I have to have quit smoking by then and she'll give me clearance for the surgery. She's an insurance guru so I'm actually starting to believe this will happen. She also sent over a referral for a surgery consult with my lap band surgeon. WHOOO HOOOO!
trina4ufl

trina4ufl

1
 

Need to kick it up a notch

My fill is still holding, though it's loosened up a bit. I'm struggling with trying to eat more healthy, as my weight has stayed the same the past two weeks. I've also been slacking on going to the gym as I had last week off work and spent three of the days hanging out with my boyfriend and the rest of the week visiting my parents. I'm hoping if I'm diligent at the gym and eat healthy, I should lose more. I am pretty much where i want to be restriction-wise. I'm also just past the 6 month mark, so I want to kick it up so I continue to lose at least 10 pounds per month if possible. NSV: I've been getting alot of random people asking me how I've lost weight and telling me how good I look. My mom and I went to breakfast in Orlando and this waitress who I didn't really recognize went on and on about how great I look. I told her about the band. I'm feeling more open about it now. I think I mentioned that I told my boyfriend and he's fine with it. The only issue is that my fill was so super tight before I could barely eat anything so now he's used to me eating practically nothing and I feel bad if I'm hungry around him. I'm not sure why. I have no clothes that look good on me and I'm in a weird place with sizes. Sometimes I wear a size 18 regular in pants. 16W's fit the other day, but the tops are weird. I either wear a 1x or 18 or sometimes a 2x if it's cut small. I got to hear that one of my boyfriend's friends made a negative comment about my weight, which made me feel like crap. My self-esteem is very day by day. Some days I feel great, other days I feel like a blob still. It doesn't help that my boyfriend is super scrawny. He's tall, but really skinny and I'm by far the biggest girl he's ever dated. As far as the band, it's great. I just need to keep my head on straight.
trina4ufl

trina4ufl

1
 

Day 4--feeling great

Feel great today. No nausea, no pain. I'm a little sore in my stomach but no pain unless I bend. I'm not hungry at all. No hunger. None!!! I found out I shouldn't be crushing my wellbutrin because it's Sustained Release, so they told me I should be able to swallow it whole. I'm trying that tonight. If for some reason it gets stuck, I need to ease it down with warm liquids. My chewable centram orange taste pretty good. My only issues are not really surgery related. 1. I only told people at work that I was having surgery and didn't tell them why except for two people I'm close to. Other people have been speculating what kind of surgery I'm having and gossiping, which kind of makes me mad. They are guessing I had some kind of cosmetic surgery and even suggested lap band as a possibility. I don't really know why it bothers me because it's not a secret, I just didn't feel the need to tell everyone at work. I don't feel like it's their business. I'm off work for a month though due to my sick leave running into my christmas vacation, so I'm pretty sure i'm going to look different when I return, so I'm sure they will guess correctly that I had WLS. This bothers me, but only a little. I just feel that sometimes they are mean spirited in the way they gossip. I'm not embarrassed about the surgery, I just feel that I have the right to privacy about my health. 2. I randomly met a guy two days before my surgery and he keeps asking me if I'll go out with him and I keep putting him off. He wants to get dinner and I'm on liquids right now. I'm debating whether or not to tell him. I don't like to lie and I hate making up excuses that arent' true. But I do want to go out with him.   Those are my biggest problems, and as you can see, they are little inconsequential issues. I am very happy so far and I'm down 18 pounds from before I started the pre-op diet. My pants are looser and my butt looked better today. Day 4 is a good day.:thumbup:
trina4ufl

trina4ufl

4
 

8 days to go!!!

I'll be having surgery in 8 days!!! I'm 6 days into my pre-op diet and I've lost 10 pounds. I feel really good about that, because I've been sticking to the diet really well. Four protein shakes during the day and one healthy choice dinner. Add veggie or healthy choice dessert if I'm still hungry but no more than 1100-1200 calories per day. Some of the 10 pounds is probably water weight and I'm counting from weight that I just gained from having "last meals". The first two days are pure hell, but after that, I have gotten used to drinking my meals instead of eating them. I really haven't been hungry much at all. My boss took me to lunch on Friday, and he knows I'm having surgery, but I didn't tell him what for. I ate 1/3 of a grilled chicken sandwich really slowly and he didn't seem to notice. Then, I just drank a protein drink for dinner. I've been meaning to get to the gym but it is COLD. I mean really COLD for Florida. It's been in freezing temperatures the past few days. When I get off work it's dark and cold and I just want to stay inside and be warm and not go back out. I will definitely start going to the gym after my surgery. I think I can do cardio fairly soon after and weights after 6 weeks or so. I'm really looking forward to losing this weight and starting the new year off right!! I've only told two people at work that I'm doing it and only a few friends and my family. I actually am going to have a month off work counting the Christmas vacation I already scheduled, so I hope to come back to work much lighter. Let the rumors begin!!!
trina4ufl

trina4ufl

1
 

Still going well

Things are still going well. I can't eat pretty much anything, but trying to keep at or below 1200 calories a day. I started back at the gym, doing 30 min of cardo and some limited weights, lots of rep, low weight. Doc said that's okay. I bought a new scale, which weighs me heavier than the old one, so it says i'm the same weight as I was at the last dr. appt. I get my first fill on January 6th. I feel great and am looking forward to having restriction. I haven't been stuck or had any issues. Still off work and enjoying it!:rolleyes2:
trina4ufl

trina4ufl

1
 

Working out

Yesterday I did 20 min of cardio (10 bike, 10 elliptical) and all the weight machines. The girl at the gym "pushed" me, so I got a great workout. Tonight, I did 40 min of cardio (10 bike, 20 elliptical, 10 treadmill at an incline). Still eating very healthy and small amounts. I've been seeing a bunch of people I know at the gym, so that's been cool. Mostly work people. I'm going again tomorrow and I want to do Zumba again on Sunday.   NSV: I wore a green suit that I haven't been able to wear in a long time and got tons of compliments at work!
trina4ufl

trina4ufl

1
 

btw

By the way, My mom took some pictures at the hospital and I plan to post them as soon as I can get them uploaded.....I'm sure they look horrendous, but that will be even better when I compare them to my "after" pics in a few months!!:thumbup:
trina4ufl

trina4ufl

1
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