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A blog by trina4ufl

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Yay!

232 today...after going from 238 on my home scale the day of my last doctor's appt two weeks ago, then going down to 234 on my liquid diet, and then back up to 240, I am finally starting to see some downward movement, even though it's only a few pounds in the last two weeks, I'll take it. I'm only 2 pounds away from hitting the 100 pound down mark! oh and NSV--my size 18 jeans that were super tight a few weeks ago now are falling down. I need a belt, only my waist is too wide for regular sized belts right now without feeling squished. Also, a ran into an old friend last weekend who looked at me, did a double take and was like, wow, you're looking great. Now he's known me for many years, and I don't think he's seen me at my heaviest, so that's a compliment for sure. I've gotten into a better groove with eating. I'll eat healthy 90% of the time and then allow myself the occasional fast food fix or junk food, but I look at the calories before I eat it and make sure it's nothing crazy. For example, I had a grilled chicken to go wrap from Wendy's 250 calories for lunch and another day I was going to allow myself a taco supreme from taco bell 200 calories, but then I thought it would be too messy to eat at work so I ate a healthy choice frozen meal instead. I've been trying to eat breakfast so sometimes I have a mini blueberry muffin, one day I had the low fat starbucks blueberry coffee cake which I'm sure used up the majority of my daily calories, but it was so good. I did skip lunch that day and had a super healthy dinner, so it worked out. I have to watch it right when I get home from work because that is when I'm stressed and tired and want to pig out, so I try to go to the gym or plan something with my boyfriend for that time. I eat 2 tablespoons of crunchy peanut butter some days at that time to hold me over until dinner. Dinner has been good because I get really solid protein food like chicken breasts and peas or last night it was steak and lobster tail. Since my fill is good, I can only eat a very small portion, but I'm full when I eat it, so it works out great. 3 meals and a snack in between lunch and dinner seem to keep me away from the ravenous hunger stage. I have to eat different things or I get bored and want to revert to crappy food.

August 29, 2009

1

Working out

Yesterday I did 20 min of cardio (10 bike, 10 elliptical) and all the weight machines. The girl at the gym "pushed" me, so I got a great workout. Tonight, I did 40 min of cardio (10 bike, 20 elliptical, 10 treadmill at an incline). Still eating very healthy and small amounts. I've been seeing a bunch of people I know at the gym, so that's been cool. Mostly work people. I'm going again tomorrow and I want to do Zumba again on Sunday. NSV: I wore a green suit that I haven't been able to wear in a long time and got tons of compliments at work!

January 22, 2009

1

Weigh Day

Today is officially weigh day and I am down 6 pounds from last tuesday when I had my fill. Yeah! 286 on the scale today! Oh and I'm wearing all my smaller clothes. If I lose much more, I will be completely out of clothes that fit well. :w00t:

February 10, 2009

3

Update on fill

It's been a week since my fill and I'm down another 6 pounds. At first, I felt like I couldn't really eat any solid food. I did liquids for three days and then tried some scrambled egg. It hurt going down and I could only eat a couple of bites. I learned though that I really hadn't needed to eat slowly to chew enough because I think this is the first time I've had a lot of restriction. I found that if I eat really slowly and chew ALOT I can eat most things. I'm also not hungry at all. I dream of food and crave all kinds of things in the morning, but it's gone by the time I brush my teeth. As a result, I know I haven't been eating enough protein. The fill did loosen up in the past couple of days so now I'm eating more, which is probably good. I feel like I have good restriction now. I'm going to work on the protein. I gave myself a week of just concentrating on getting some food in, and now it's back to logging and making sure I eat enough protein. I'm fitting into the smallest smallest clothes I have! Most of my clothes are way too big I realized today. Time for some shopping! I just wanted to wait because I usually drop the most just after a fill, so I didn't want the clothes I bought to be too big right away. My 30th birthday is March 22nd, so I do plan on buying a couple of cute outfits before that. Oh, and my butt is looking really good! I noticed myself and my friend and her boyfriend confirmed it :confused:

March 10, 2009

4

Tuesday Weigh day

I lost 5 pounds this week!!! I'm going to try for another 5 this next week. I'm at 278 as of this morning. I'm trying to get under 270 by my birthday on March 22nd. That's the lowest weight I've been in several years. I'm wearing my smallest clothes that I own. Everything is going to be baggy from here on out unless I bite the bullet and buy more clothes. 5 pounds makes me feel really good. I feel like i'm making major progress. I can also feel the muscles in my butt from working out at the gym! I can't wait to see how I look when Iose another 20 pounds or so...

February 25, 2009

1

too tight?

Sorry I haven't posted lately, but there's a bunch of drama going on at work. It's got me pretty stressed out. I was doing great after the fill, but now I'm thinking I may be too tight. I can drink liquids fine, but if I try to eat anything, it hurts. I try to eat yogurt for breakfast and I can't finish it because it hurts to eat it. Later in the day it was better, but the past few days, I can't seem to eat anything. I ordered a salad tuesday night and could only eat 2 bites. It hurt and I couldn't eat anymore. I don't lose weight well when I can't eat anything either. My body holds onto the calories I do eat and then when I can eat something, I'll gain. I want to see if I can lose some weight this week and if it'll loosen up, as it usually does as the month goes on, but if I'm still this tight on Monday, I'm going to see about a slight unfill. At least being this tight I won't be tempted to eat too much this weekend. I'm visiting my parents. I've tried to eat most of the food that is usually okay, and it all hurts. I couldn't even eat soup the other night. This is teaching me to eat MUCH slower though. I can nibble if I go extremely slow. It still hurts, but at least I've been able to get some protein down. I don't have acid reflux and don't feel any other side effects. It just hurts when I eat. Weird. Other than that, everything's going great. Well, work sucks. They are giving us a 2% pay cut due to the budget. :thumbup: But the boyfriend is being awesome and I'm very happy with the relationship. I've met his friends now and I think they like me. Our sleep/work schedules are out of synch, so we don't get to spend as much time together as we'd both like, but he is definitely making a big effort to see me more. I'm looking forward to the weekend. It'll be good to see my parents. I'm just dreaming about solid food!!!

May 7, 2009

1

To fill or not to fill, that is the question?

So, after talking to the guy I've been on and off dating, it seems like I misunderstood him on a few things and apparently he likes me alot and wants to continue dating. I agreed as I like him alot too. He came over tonight and we cooked dinner together. We cooked NY strip steaks on the grills and I made baked potatoes with fresh chives and asparagus stir-fried with garlic and butter. It turned out perfectly. I ate the steak with absolutely no issues. Now my surgeon had said last time that if I can eat steak, then I need a fill. I weighed myself this morning though and I am down another 2 pounds. I've pretty much been eating healthy and on days when I know I'm going out to dinner (or like today--cooking steaks at home) I don't eat anything else all day. I know that may not be the healthiest thing to do, but it keeps my calorie intake in check but still allows me to go out and eat what I want. Most of the time I just eat healthy three meals a day, but on the weekends I usually go out to dinner with friends or my date. So I'm wondering, does this mean I need a fill? I think that I do. I can still eat too much food, even though I control myself and try to stay within my calorie goals. I have an appt. on March 3rd so I will probably get a fill then.

February 23, 2009

8

The scoop on my date tonight..

We ended up meeting at the sushi place right near my house which is the best sushi in town and actually a really nice restaurant. It ended up being really good. He's kind of dorky--skinny, glasses, but I definitely find him cute. He's at least as tall as I am, brown hair, almost a little red, kind of pale skin like I have. Goatee/mustache/beard just around the jawline cut neatly. He wore khakis and a collared shirt and he was friendly and funny and we had a good time. He of course paid for dinner. We talked the whole time and it seems like we have alot in common. He kind of went through the wild stage like I did when I was younger, but now is responsible but still likes to do fun things, etc. Most of his friends have moved out of town and most of them are married now. He said he wants to get married someday. He's not sure if he wants kids. He's working at a job because he can't make as much working with the degree he has (like me!). He really likes animals like I do. He's extremely open to the point that he even tells things that make him look bad. He said he loved my hair and wanted to touch it but he was controlling himself. lol He said that he told his coworkers he was going on a date tonight and they told him good, he needed to have a girlfriend..lol. He goes target shooting, rafting down the river, watches movies, drinks, but not not all that often, he's close to his family and has a large family like me. He liked my car alot and said next time we should go in my car because it's so cool, which I'm all for...He mentioned some sexual type stuff in passing conversation, but was not sexual towards me, I think he just wanted to keep himself out of the "friends zone". He's very talkative and considerate unlike a lot of guys. He hasn't been dating since his last girlfriend 2 years ago. His relationships usually last four years. He doesn't come out and say it, but it was clear from the things he said that he wants a serious girlfriend. Mentioned possibly doing something on sunday, though we did not set plans yet. I gave him a hug when I was ready to leave. He didn't want me to leave, and kept talking to me when I was getting in my car. He had a big smile on his face. I'm pretty sure he likes me, though I'm not 100% sure, and I definitely like him enough to go on another date with him. Overall, he's smart, funny, considerate, and we have similar values and we are about the same age. So far, so good!:w00t:

February 12, 2009

5

Surgiversary

So, technically I missed posting on my surgiversary, or my one year anniversary of getting my lap band. It's been a good ride. It's had it's ups and downs but as of today, two weeks after my one year mark, I weigh 210 pounds. That is 120 pounds less than I did a year ago. Wow! I never really thought I would get this far! I'm still 32 pounds from my goal but I'm feeling pretty great. I have alot of energy now that I've gotten over this bronchitis thing. I lost 10 pounds this month when I weighed in at the doctor today. My surgeon showed me my before picture and I don't even recognize it. Did I really look like that? No diet could have done this. I will take credit for my part, because I have exercised, gone to all my follow up appointments and fills, followed the rules (for the most part!) and try to eat healthy most of the time. But I will give the band the credit that is due because with the band, it is not impossible. LapBand 12/1/08 Starting weight/surgery weight/current weight/goal weight/height 330/316/210/175/5'10"

December 15, 2009

8

Surgery Successful!

I had surgery yesterday and it went well. I got there at about 7:30am, checked in, went to room where I had to give a urine sample, which is hard to do when you're not allowed to drink anything and I already went first thing in the morning. Was asked to get into this gown and socks. Then the nurse put on these really nice thigh high things so I wouldn't get blood clots. Okay, so they weren't pretty, but they did keep me warmer. It was cold yesterday in FL and the hospital was very cold. Then the nurse was mad because apparenty I hadn't filled out some form when i came for pre-op and they were missing my blood work and chest x-ray. I guess they got it all sorted out and then my mom came back. Suddenly, Nurse Ratchet turned into the nicest person around and she and my mom chatted about everything under the sun. I waited in that room with a TV for awhile, and then another nurse came and wheeled me through the hospital and on the elevators to another waiting area. My surgeon came by, as did the anesthesiologist, who was about 21 years old, but very good looking. They were running late, but finally wheeled me back into the OR. I was totally lucid at this point and they took me into the OR which had a bed with pads on the feets and arms and several people standing around. I scooted over to that bed and they started tying my arms down. I asked where were my happy drugs and informed them that I was usually out by this point, as i was getting pretty scared looking around. The cute anesthesiologist said that the nurse had gotten past him but he was here now and he shot me with something in my IV. I woke up in recovery and It was painful!!! There was a male nurse there and I told him I can't breathe and it hurts. He kept giving me IV pain killers (I think he said torredal) until I felt better. I had the worst cotton mouth ever and felt kind of nauseous. I asked for ice and he said I wasn't ready for it due to the nausea. I asked him if I could have some ice if I promised not to swallow it. That made him laugh and laugh and laugh. He finally got some ice and it made my mouth feel better, but I pretty much had cotton mouth the whole rest of the day. I kind of chilled for while, all hazy on pain meds in recovery for awhile. The male nurse said that he thought he knew me from somewhere. I think he goes to the same gym I go to. He said he remembered my personality, because I guess I was being funny because he kept laughing. Then he wheeled me downstairs and my mom came and another nurse was taking care of me. They gave me some pretty awful tasting liquid pain meds (liquid loratab) and let me drink some water. I had no issues with drinking. Then my mom noticed that I had a catheter. I guess they had put that in while I was out. The nurse took it out, which hurt, but not that badly. I then began to have some horrid gas pains that made me double over and cry. I begged the nurse to let me walk, which she finally did after telling me that I could stay in the hospital that night or go home. I wanted to go home. I guess most of the time they make you stay one night, but since I'm "young and healthy" (their words) I can go home. So, she undid my IV and my blood pressure monitor and let me walk around, which made me feel 100X better. My mom went and got the car and I got dressed by myself. My leaving blood pressure was 126/80 which is great. I had some hypertension in the first recovery room, but they think it was due to the pain. They gave me a script for liquid loratab and told me to crush my other meds. I went home and followed the rule of drinking something or eating sugar free popsicles or jello every hour. Walked down the driveway and around the house alot. Took the pain meds and felt okay and went to sleep. Woke up at 4am and walked around a bit, let the dog out, and took some more pain meds. Woke up at 9am, walked around, took some pain meds, and had some jello. I crushed up my Wellbutrin last night and tonight and it was horrible!!! I called the doctor's office today and asked them to call in a liquid version of my wellbutrin, and they said they would. I'm on a clear liquid diet for today and half of tomorow and then on full liquids until my doctor's appointment on Dec. 9th. They said until that appt not to experiment with food, but only eat what's on the list which consists of cream of wheat, oatmeal (both thinned with no clumps) strained soup, broth, jello, sugar free popsicles, water, juice and non caloric drinks. I can have coffee but not really until tomorrow afternoon, because I can't have skim milk until tomorrow and I can't drink it black. The appointment is usually to get the staples out, but since he did glue with me, it's just to check in. I have my first fill in about a month and they will give me the rest of my post-op diet at my dec. 9th appointment. So far, so good. I'm in a little pain, but no nausea and the pain is manageable.

December 2, 2008

17

Still going well

Things are still going well. I can't eat pretty much anything, but trying to keep at or below 1200 calories a day. I started back at the gym, doing 30 min of cardo and some limited weights, lots of rep, low weight. Doc said that's okay. I bought a new scale, which weighs me heavier than the old one, so it says i'm the same weight as I was at the last dr. appt. I get my first fill on January 6th. I feel great and am looking forward to having restriction. I haven't been stuck or had any issues. Still off work and enjoying it!:rolleyes2:

December 16, 2008

1

so far, so good

:thumbs_up:I've been afraid to really eat anything. I've eaten Live Active lowfat cottage cheese, nonfat light yogurt, and some thin sliced deli turkey and a protein drink. It has gone down fine, but I can feel restriction. I think I need more protein. I felt like I was going to pass out at some point at the gym tonight. I've been great this week at the gym. I've done 30 min of cardio each day and strength training on Mon and Wed (today). I weighed myself after I got home from the gym and took a shower and it showed 299.1 on my home scale!!!!!!! I am so excited about that!!! I haven't "tested" the fill yet, but mentally, I'm restricted. It's been busy at work and then going to the gym afterwards, it seems like I really don't have time to even think about food, which is awesome. I hope I can keep it that way!

January 8, 2009

5

Ready for plastics!

Okay, so I haven't posted on here in forever. I've been kind of just caught up in my life, which I guess is a good thing. I also haven't had anything significant going on with my weight or the band. I haven't had a fill since last December and I haven't lost anymore weight. I have been working out regularly and I think I have more muscle and less fat. I'm still around 210 pounds though. I went for a consult with a plastic surgeon and I've been approved for a breast reduction and an abdominoplasty. My insurance is going to cover it 100%!!!!! I am really excited about this. The surgery is scheduled for October 5th. I am 5'9" and have a large frame, and I truly felt like I was going to have trouble losing any more weight. The plastic surgeon said that there wasn't much fat left--it was mostly all skin, which makes sense after losing 120 pounds. I can't even imagine myself with a flat stomach and firm boobs. My ultimate goal is to be able to jog. I can somewhat job for like a minute at a time, but my overall fitness is pretty good but I'm weighed down by the weight on my upper body. I am happy I haven't gained any weight and I've settled into a pretty healthy eating routine. I'm hoping that this plastic surgery gets me where I want to be, or at the least gets me able to exercise the way I want to. I could play tennis again! In case you don't understand what a big problem I have, the surgeon says he's going to take about 7 or 8 pounds off of my chest. In other news, I was dating an older guy for about 3 months and he just dumped me via email. Then I found out that he's been dating someone else for a couple of weeks now. How many times am I going to let my heart get broken? Everything in my life is going awesome except for my love life. I guess I shouldn't let that get me down. I need to focus on me right now anyway. I'm going to have about a month off work to recover and my mom is going to be here for the first week. Will my stomach really be flat? Will I be able to buy single digit bra sizes? I am so excited!Tags: lap band

September 7, 2010

5

Progress pics

Okay, here are some progress pics. In the first one, it was taken prior to the pre-op diet and the 2nd was taken this weekend. I've lost about 40 pounds since the pre-op diet. I will post some full body shots soon, but I can't find any before that have full body yet so here's a face comparison...

February 3, 2009

7

plastics recovery

So plastics recovery is going well. My weight went up about 8 pounds but then went down 10 in one week. I think I was having major swelling. I went to the lap band doc and got a fill and am now super tight. I weighed myself and I am at 197.6. Onederland!!!!!! First time since I was a teenager. My stomach is looking much better. It's lumpy when I sit down, but looks good standing up. My breasts look awesome. They are still healing though and I can't wear any underwire bras for another month. It's really hard to find bras with no underwire. I'm pretty happy with how I look when I'm in clothes right now. I have alot more confidence and when people see me, they say WOW you look awesome! I am now in a large size in tops or shirts and still a 14 in pants. I'm not sure if that will change when the swelling goes down all the way or not. I am 5'9"/5'10" so that's not bad for my height. I would need to lose another 20 pounds to reach my overall goal. I've started back at the gym but taking is slowly due to the swelling I've had and the belly button issues. I go back to work next week :scared2: I've really enjoyed the time off. Things are going well though. I'm really happy about the results of my surgery!

November 12, 2010

0

Only 1 drain left

I had a follow up appt. today at the plastic surgeon's office and one of the drains on my hips came out. They think the other one can come out on Monday. It's still outputting quite a bit of fluid. It has to be below 30 ccs output in a 24 hour period before it can come out. I am ready for it to be gone but I understand that it greatly reduces the amount of painful swelling. My left side has been hurting and I'm not really sure why. My new belly button was leaking some fluid and the Dr.'s office thinks that some of the fluid from the belly button may be going to my left side. They stated everything looks really good though and that i shouldn't be worried. I no longer have to put bandages on my incisions. I can just wear the surgical bra and the compression garmet. After 2 weeks, which is Tuesday, I only have to wear the compression garmet during the day, not at night. I have to wear the bra 24/7 for 6 weeks total. My breasts are starting to look really good and the Nurse Practitioner mentioned how they seem much rounder and I agree. My stomach is also starting to look flatter. I asked her if it was going to be totally tight and flat and she said that they pulled it tight and flat during the surgery, but that because of the swelling, it is lumpy and swollen. She said that it will get flatter and tighter, but that because the skin has been stretched from gaining and losing alot of weight that it loses the elasticity so it may not be as tight as it was in the surgery. I'm hoping that wearing these compression garmets will help it get tighter. I don't know if I mentioned this before but originally the surgeon said that he'd have to do free nippple grafts for my breast reduction because of the length of my breasts. In this scenario I would definitely lose all sensation in my breasts. I wasn't happy with this so he said that he would try to do the normal way which is moving the entire nipple and the attachments, but that he may have to switch mid surgery if the tissue wasn't getting blood supply. Well, he was able to do the normal one and I have full sensation in my nipples! This is a big deal for me and I am super happy about it. I definitely credit his surgical skills because I read alot about how if your nipples are a certain length from where they need to go that they have to do the free nipple graft--which is taking them off completely and reposiitioning them which guarantees a complete loss of sensation in the nipple and they will not get erect and you cannot breast feed. But, yay, that is not the case for me! He had also talked about the possibility of having to do a vertical incision to get the stomach tight which would have meant a long vertical scar. However, he did not have to do this either, so everything went really well. I'm feeling better every day and the office staff was so nice. They said I am a very easy patient. I'm super excited because I wore a shirt tonight that I have saved since I was 15 years old (I'm 31 now). It has been too small since I was 15, but it was my favorite shirt ever. I tried it on tonight and it fits perfectly!!!:thumbup:

October 15, 2010

0

Old clothes be gone!

I cleaned out my closet tonight. I realize that none of my pants fit me. They are way too big. I have clothes ranging all the way up to 3x and 24/26. I tried on an 18W in the store today, and they were way too big as well. I actually bought a pair of workout pants in a medium. I tried them on by accident and they fit. Now granted they are stretch pants, but still! I have way too many clothes to get rid of. I think I'm going to take them to a consignment store so I can at least get a little money out of them. I don't have the patience for ebay. Now that I've gotten rid of my big clothes, my closet looks pretty empty. I did get a bunch of clothes in Orlando this weekend, so at least I have something to wear. It feels good to get rid of all the big clothes, but a part of me is wondering if I'll need them again someday. Well, out they go!

August 3, 2009

2

Nsv

Non Scale Victory: Yesterday I tried on my size 18W pants that I bought from Dillards and they fit with room to spare. I tried on the same brand pants in 16W and they fit but were a little tight. Now, granted, they are a good name brand that usually has generous sizes, but still, these are the smallest pants I own. I also went out last night with a couple of my friends and they pointed out that this good looking guy was checking me out and looking at my butt. In bad news, I've been eating unhealthy food for the past two days. I did get a french fry stuck though it wiggled it's way down, so I don't think I'll be craving french fries anytime soon. I'm going to the grocery store to get healthy food to eat today, so I won't be tempted. I guess old habits are hard to break. When I go out and see my friends ordering french fries and sandwiches, that's what I want too. Luckily, my band is working for me in that I couldn't eat even half of what I ordered, so I took it home, but the bad news is that I ate the leftovers for breakfast, instead of giving them to my friends or throwing them away which I what I did before to break my bad eating cycle. I have been kicking butt at the gym so hopefully that will make up for some of it. Spark People actually had a message saying, "You have burned signficantly more calories than your goal. Your daily calorie goal will not automatically adjust. Do you want to change your goals?" However, this is still not an excuse for eating poorly. The worst part is that I exceeded my calories by alot, but was still under my goal in protein...grrrr! New week, new start!

February 15, 2009

3

nothing new...

Sadly, I don't have anything new to report. I've been working, going to the gym, spending time with friends and the boyfriend. I guess no news is good news? I'm up and down the same five pounds since the fill. I feel restriction because I can't eat several different things--bread, steak, anything big, but for some reason I've been hungry alot. I have to "diet" to lose weight, and then if I have a bad day of eating, the scale jumps back up. I think my body likes the 260s for some reason. And I am so looking forward to the 250s... I haven't been getting enough sleep lately, so I'm sure that's not helping. My goals for the next week is to keep working out, eat out less, and get 8 hours of sleep! In good news, people keep commenting how "skinny" I look (relative term to what I was before, I will never be "skinny'!) In bad news, I was really tired the other night and slipped and fell in the shower and busted my face. I hit my chin mostly, and it cut and bled and I have a huge purple, black, and yellow bruise. I look like I was in a fist fight. My knees and elbows are bruised and I also have a knot on my head. No fun! It could have been much worse though. My face hit the ceramic pretty hard. I thought I broke my jaw, but no, I'm actually okay, I just look bad. Work has been brutal. I have a couple days off next week and I'm really looking forward to it. Tomorrow is Friday!!!

April 18, 2009

3

Not much restriction

I made breakfast for my employees at work today and ate one of the biscuits filled with egg, cheese, onion, etc. and I realize I don't have much restriction at all and I can eat anything. I don't even have to eat particularly slowly. I did accidentally drink after I ate yesterday and it was painful, so I have some restriction, but I think I'm just used to eating smaller meals and healthy food, so I do. I was debating about whether or not to get another fill at my next doctor appointment on Feb. 3rd because I don't want to PB, slime, or throw up, but now I know that I need one. Plus I haven't really lost any weight this week, though I've been good about eating healthy and keeping around 1000 calories a day, although I haven't been to the gym since last week because I've had the flu. Definitely time for a fill. I'm happy with the eating changes I've made though. I pulled out the promise light margarine/spread yesterday and realized I almost never use butter or margarine anymore and I used to use it all the time. I'm thinking about all the bad eating habits that I don't do anymore and that makes me really happy. I could be doing better as sometimes I eat something unhealthy, but for the most part, I am really happy with my choices and my portions. I just would like to see more of a change in the scale. After losing 7 pounds that week, I lost 2 more the following week, and then have stayed the same since Tuesday. It's kind of sad that I'm not just dropping pounds like crazy just because I'm eating so much better. Apparently I need to work hard to lose weight. Who knew? J/K. It's totally worth it, and I chose Lapband because I wanted to own it. To know that I worked to get healthy. Well, I'm keeping at it, so the scales got to move sometime. I think another fill will help.

January 23, 2009

7

New start

Okay, I'm gettting some new motivation. I've been hovering between 251 and 253 this week. Not bad considering I'm on a mini vacation from work and I am finally able to eat as my band has loosened up a bit. I'm determined to get under 250 (on my home scale!!). I bought a tennis racquet and two sets of tennis balls as I only had one racquet and I'm trying to convince some of my friends to play tennis with me in the evenings. I'm kind of burned out on the gym, and singles tennis is great exercise and I like to play competitive games. The only problem is that none of my friends actually play tennis, hence me buying an extra racquet. But I figure even if we chase the balls around, it's good exercise. The weather however has not been cooperating. It has been raining hard for 2 weeks straight. Even if it's not raining, the ground is so wet, it's sure to mean soggy tennis balls. I'm hoping it clears up this week so I can add evening tennis to my activities. I plan to go to the gym regularly this week, add in tennis and walking the dog, and go through my closet. Literally 90% of the clothes I own I cannot wear due to them being way too big. This is a great feeling, but also leaves me with nothing to wear. I went to Macy's for their memorial day sale and bought three shirts and a pair of pants for $50. I am in an 18W in the plus size in the tops and bottoms, though the pants are kind of big on me. As for eating, I need to log my food this week, and eat protein, protein, protein! I still have good restriction, so I should lose weight if I eat enough protein each day and exercise. I also am determined to get out of this loneliness/boredom funk by keeping my schedule busy exercising, cleaning out my closet, and I also bought a new book to read. I told my boyfriend I thought we should cool out for like a week because I've been really emotional and have been bitchy with him. He doesn't understand and asked why I can't talk to him if there's something stressing me out in my life. I plan to tell him about the surgery when we have some time alone together--which we haven't lately. We've spent alot of time together, but it's been with friends and his famly around. The time has come to tell him, I just HATE talking about weight with a boyfriend and it's very awkward for me to bring up the surgery. I also have no idea what his reaction will be or how I'm going to bring it up. I have to go back to work tomorrow, which I'm not really looking forward to, though it will give me structure and hopefully keep me busy so I get out of this loneliness/boredom funk. I work the rest of this week, all of next week, and then I'm off for a week. I don't really have any plans, as my money is tight. I'm hoping to use it as a time to get grounded and just focus on myself and get myself together. I need to get back to being the productive, motivated, happy person that I have been, and not this emotional, needy, anxious, person that I seem to have become the last couple of weeks. I need to keep focused on my goals!!!!

May 27, 2009

1

Need to kick it up a notch

My fill is still holding, though it's loosened up a bit. I'm struggling with trying to eat more healthy, as my weight has stayed the same the past two weeks. I've also been slacking on going to the gym as I had last week off work and spent three of the days hanging out with my boyfriend and the rest of the week visiting my parents. I'm hoping if I'm diligent at the gym and eat healthy, I should lose more. I am pretty much where i want to be restriction-wise. I'm also just past the 6 month mark, so I want to kick it up so I continue to lose at least 10 pounds per month if possible. NSV: I've been getting alot of random people asking me how I've lost weight and telling me how good I look. My mom and I went to breakfast in Orlando and this waitress who I didn't really recognize went on and on about how great I look. I told her about the band. I'm feeling more open about it now. I think I mentioned that I told my boyfriend and he's fine with it. The only issue is that my fill was so super tight before I could barely eat anything so now he's used to me eating practically nothing and I feel bad if I'm hungry around him. I'm not sure why. I have no clothes that look good on me and I'm in a weird place with sizes. Sometimes I wear a size 18 regular in pants. 16W's fit the other day, but the tops are weird. I either wear a 1x or 18 or sometimes a 2x if it's cut small. I got to hear that one of my boyfriend's friends made a negative comment about my weight, which made me feel like crap. My self-esteem is very day by day. Some days I feel great, other days I feel like a blob still. It doesn't help that my boyfriend is super scrawny. He's tall, but really skinny and I'm by far the biggest girl he's ever dated. As far as the band, it's great. I just need to keep my head on straight.

June 16, 2009

1

More progress pics

Okay, here are some progress pics two months and about a week after surgery.

February 6, 2009

7

Minor episode

I need to post new pics, though I guess I haven't because the weight loss has been pretty slow. I didn't lose anything for awhile and one week I gained back the weight I had lost the week before, but now I'm at 237 which I'm still pretty happy about because at least it's going in the right direction. I know I could be doing better. I've been eating small portions, but "regular" food instead of "diet" food. I just got really sick of yogurt and cottage cheese. Plus I think I was too tight for awhile and that made me eat whatever I could get down. I did have an "epidsode" today though. I've been able to eat pretty well, small portions but most foods. I've eaten steak several times but only a little bit. Well today, I was out of town for the day with my boyfriend and we didn't get a chance to eat so I was super super hungry by 6pm. I met up with my friends who don't know about my WLS and ordered a ribeye. I ate it way too fast and had to throw up. The worst part was that I thought I was going to throw up right at the table. I ran to the bathroom, but it was really crowded and no one likes hearing someone puke in a restaurant, so I went outside. It was really crowded out there too with people walking around, parking, etc. I just kept hoping it would go down, but no dice. I finally puked by my car. I still felt like I needed to puke more so I paid my tab and told my friends I got suddenly sick. They were really concerned and worried. Then I had to puke again by my car. I got home, barely, and puked a little more and then laid down and was okay. Stupid of me to eat steak fast. I was actually considering getting another fill on the 11th but now I know I should not. I just need to be patient and eat healthier. I'm just impatient because it's not falling off the way it was at first. However, I know that the slow weight loss is better for the skin situation. Other than that, things are going well. I have a couple of days off work so I'm enjoying them. I'll get the official weight loss at the doctor's appointment on Aug. 11th. I'm going to keep hitting the gym and crack down on the food choices until then and hope for a good weight loss.

August 3, 2009

1

Message from 10/7/10

So I had my surgery for breast reduction and abdominoplasty on Tuesday. They said it went really well. I did have a lot of pain and discomfort, but I am also heavily medicated, so I've been sleeping all the time. The breasts really don't hurt at all, but the stomach muscles hurt a lot the first day, and the sutures have hurt the past two days. I have my follow up appointment today. They removed 11 pounds altogether. I haven't seen the results yet because I'm in this body "armor" and support bra and I can't take it off until after my post-op appt today. I'm almost afraid to see it because I know it's going to look bad at first. I did look down right after surgery and was woah!! and the nurses thought something was wrong, but I said, my stomach is gone! It was a really great feeling. My mom is here taking care of me. I think it would be almost impossible to do this without someone here because I need her help just to get in and out of bed. The stomach hurts alot whenever I move, but as long as I stay still, everything is okay. My back and neck are really sore from having to sleep in the same position. All in all, not super fun and very uncomfortable, but not intolerable and definitely worth it if it ends up looking/feeling good. I'll post more soon.

October 14, 2010

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