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Struggling

I've made the decision to move forward with bariatric surgery. Of course I am in the long haul to get the insurance company to approve it but I still want to work on preparing myself for it. So I am trying to watch what I eat and trying to get myself to exercise. What I really am struggling with is portion control. Like last night I had two cheese burgers instead of just one. At breakfast this morning it was two big breakfast sammis instead of one. At lunch it was the chinese buffet and I had 2 large plates of food and 2 large cups of soup. I tell myself I need to do better but then I don't. This is so frustrating.
Florida Pete

Florida Pete

5
 

Setting Goals

Everyone talks about setting goals for yourself and this has been on my mind a lot. What goals was I going to set for myself. Of course I am like well I want to be thin and I want to weigh about 200 lbs. Ok yeah that's like the ultimate goal but really that's down the road. What goals do I set as my milestones?   So I started thinking about it. As of today (11/14/08) I weigh 452 lbs. So my first goal is to reach that 400 lbs mark. I am currently 3 weeks away from my surgery date. I am in full swing of my pre-op diet and have begun an exercise routine daily. Right now it is simply getting out and going for a walk daily but I have to admit that is more then what I have done for a long long long time.   The only other goal I really have set is that I want to get to the point that I can once again running in for exercise. I used to run about 7 miles a day. I really enjoyed it. I pretty much have always been a morning person so years ago I used to get up early right before sunrise and go out for my run. I would get to see the sun come up and really just enjoyed that time to myself. So I hope one day to get back to that.   The only other goal other then my final goal is getting down to a mens size 42. Right now I wear a mens 56 and on the higher side of 5X for my shirts. So why is the 42 my magical number? It's as simple as this. The by in large is the largest size in the department stores that most of them carry for men. I can remember when I started wearing the 42's I could still get my jeans at Walmart, Target, and regular department stores but then the 44's and 46's on up I had to start looking at places like Casual Male Big & Tall store. As I got larger this became an exclusive for me. That and the J.C.Penny's Big & Tall catelog. So yes the 42 pant size is a big milestone to me.   So for now it's getting down to 400lbs. After that I think it's getting down to a mens size 42. Beyond that is to far right now that I just am not ready to set those goals. Oh and my running is a goal but that is a long term goal to me unlike the 400lbs is my immediate shorter term goal.
Florida Pete

Florida Pete

5
 

Optimism is High

Well about a month ago I started slowly changing my diet to get into my pre-op diet. My pre-op diet is basically like most others. A shake at breakfast, mid morning snack, a shake at lunch, mid afternoon snack, and then a sensible dinner. I am restricted to 30 carbs a day and 1200 calories a day.   So first I started one shake in the morning. Then I went to morning and lunch with the snacks between meals. I still was eating whatever I wanted at dinner and for the most part however much I wanted.   Ok so the shakes in the morning lasted 2 weeks and then a week into the two shakes a day I decided to weigh myself. Prior to the shakes I weighed myself and I was at 462 lbs. Ok so as I was saying 3 weeks into my new diet routine I weighed myself and I gained. I was 464 lbs!   I felt defeated and frustrated. I started to question if this whole thing was going to work. I had already cut down the amount of food I was eating every, of course not as drastic as it will be once I am banded but still I should have been losing or atleast that's what I thought.   Well ok so I didn't give up and the next week I continued the 2 shakes a day with the snacks between the meals followed up with my dinner. I started to watch the dinner a little closer and then added one more big step. I started walking for 15 to 20 minutes a day. I have always known that I would need to start exercising to really help myself through this process so I might as well start now was my thought process.   Well that has proven to be one of the best steps. So here I am today officially on the first day of my pre-op diet and I decided to weigh myself. 452 lbs!!! Since I started watching my dinner closer and started the walking I had lost 14 lbs!!!   Now I feel great about what I am doing and know that I am moving in the right direction with all this. I feel confident that the LapBand will most definately be the right tool to help me become the man I was once years ago.
Florida Pete

Florida Pete

2
 

One Month Later And Life Has Already Changed

Dec. 5th, 2008 was the day of my surgery. I knew at that time that things were changing for me and that I was going to live a healthier and happier life but even since then things have changed more then I had ever expect or thought would happen.   Of course the normal things have changed like my diet and exercise but I have already seen a major change in what I can physically do. Before it would wear me out to walk over to the mail box in our apartment complex and back but now I walk so much further and even for enjoyment. When I can I even get out and walk twice a day just to push myself that much further.   A huge change in my life that I did not expect this soon has been my blood pressure. I can hardly believe that it has dropped so much that I am no longer on any blood pressure medications when before I was taking two, Atenonol and Benicar. Now I feel better and really enjoy not having to pay for those perscriptions on a monthly basis and that I know I am living healthier then ever.   Of course clothes have already become loose and some even to large for me to wear anymore. Can you believe it! After 30 days I am already down a size or two in clothes and still losing the weight.   Another big change came as a surprise to me is my wife told me that with the way we are working to live a healthier life and that we are both losing weight she wants to try for another child this fall. This is very exciting to me. I've made no bones about it to her that I would like two children so that our 15 month old son doesn't grow up as an only child. Nothing wrong with having an only child but I still would like to have a brother or sister for him to grow up with.   I just am amazed at how much better I feel both physically, mentally, and emotionally. Life seems so much brighter now and the future does look bright. I am very thankful for the Lap-Band and to everyone here who has been apart of my support in taking steps forward for a better life.
Florida Pete

Florida Pete

7
 

Non-Scale Victory

So today my wife and I went to Walmart to see if they possibly would have any cheap shorts that I could get to wear for walking and exercise. I had been wearing a 5X in pants/shorts and a 5X in t-shirts. Well before she left she grabbed a t-shirt that my mom had gotten me a while back and it is a 4X. Karen told me to try it on and see how it fit. It fits great actually.   Ok so then we went to Walmart and they had lots of 3X shorts and did fine a couple of 4X. She had me hold a pair of the 3X up to my waiste to see how it might fit. I did and I was thinking that they might be a little tight still. So we grabbed a few pairs of the 4X and one pair of the 3X and I went over to the dressing room. I took one 4X and one 3X in there. I immediately tried on the 3X and WOW!!! I was surprised they fit perfectly! I couldn't believe it. I then tried the 4X and they fit too but were on the larger size of fitting. So I put all the 4X's back and got a couple more pairs of 3X pants!!!   I can't believe it. After such a short amount of time I am already down to 4X in shirts and 3X in pants/shorts. This feels GREAT!!!
Florida Pete

Florida Pete

7
 

Making the decision

Today I filled out the first initial paperwork that the surgeon needs. Took me a little while to fill everything out as accurately as I could.   You know my family has talked to me off and on for a few years now about getting the surgery and I had been of the opinion well I can do it on my own if I just put my mind to it. Ha! We all know how that really works.   A little over a year ago was the first time that I had a doctor actually suggest bariatric surgery to me. At that time I wasn't ready to admit it. Then about a month ago now I started with a new doctor and one of the first things she talked to me about was my weight and the surgery.   I guess it's just been coming to terms with myself in accepting that I have not been able to do what I thought I could and that I need to be real about it. I have a 10 month old baby boy that I want to be around for years. I want to see him grow up and want to be there when he is older. On top of that of course goes more to knowing myself and knowing that I don't feel like a normal person.   For years now I have not been able to do the things I really enjoy doing. In my late teens and early twenties I was actually a pretty active person. I would go out camping where I actually would hike into a lake a good 8 to 15 miles from any civilization. I used to love to get up early in the morning and go for a good run. It was great getting out in the early morning air when the sun is coming up and just run. It was also great being able to go to any store and look at clothes. Anything from Wal-Mart to Nordstrom's. Ha! Best I can do now days is Casual Male or the JC Penny Big & Tall catalog.   What does this all really tell me? That I am not happy with the way I am and I need to change it. I also have had to admit to myself that I am not healthy with all this weight on me. I do have leaky heart valves, high blood pressure, varicose/venous stasis, high triglyceride, as well as the other typical things like achy joints, chronic fatigue, lower back pain, etc etc.   So in finally coming to realize that I need to change everything I realize that I cannot do it completely on my own. So now with the doctors referral to talk a surgeon about bariatric surgery I am looking into the next steps.   Here I start looking at the different surgery's and figure out which is really best for me. LapBand or Gastric By-Pass....That is the question. That is the decision to make; Not weather I need bariatric surgery or not.
Florida Pete

Florida Pete

1
 

Last thoughts before being banded.

When I was at Hospital Angeles in Tijuana I wrote a little blog on paper that morning that I wanted to share. My last thoughts before surgery.....   Dec. 5th, 2008 - 4 am   Just a few hours left before my surgery. I feel really good about it. The hospital is very clean. It reminds me a lot of Jupiter Medical Center back home. The staff have all been very nice and accommodating. Not very many of them speak English but there usually is someone around that does. I met with Dr. Peterson yesterday for my medical history and his exam. He was pleased with how small my live feels. First Goal Accomplished!!! So today is surgery. I am Dr. Kuri's first patient of the day. Then the three gals who came for surgery too. Everyone is just so nice. Saara and her friend Leisha are a lot of fun to be around and talk to. I met Saara on the forums. Judy, Saara, Leisha, and I all actually met at the airport and have shared this trip together. This should be exciting to see how things turn out in the long run. In the last few moments before surgery I have been thinking a lot about Karen and Nicholas. I love them both so much. I can't wait to get home to them so that I can really be the husband and the father that they deserve to have. They truly are the reason that I push forward with this and with this dedication. I know Karen worries that I will get thin and then no longer be attracted to her but that is just not so. She is my best friend. She is my lover. She is the best thing that God has given/put into my life in a long long time. She belongs in my life and deserves my love, dedication, devotion, and respect. I love you Karen with all my heart and sole. Today after my surgery they want us up and walking within 2 hours. I intend to do it too. I know that is one of the many keys to success for this. That specifically was why I started walking again just over a month ago. I really want to get to where I can go running again. I used to love running in the morning and hope to be there once again. Well my final weigh in yesterday morning was 442.2 lbs. Never again will I weigh this much. This I swear to you with my sole. BRING ON THE BAND!
Florida Pete

Florida Pete

3
 

Glimmer of Hope

So after finding out that my insurance will not cover the surgery and that disappointment I informed my family of what has transpired. Each one has come back to saying that maybe the family could all come together to help me get the surgery done after all. This really is different since I have never seen this kind of support from my family. I don't know that anything is really going to come out of this but it does bring a glimmer of hope to my life for this. I need to talk to each of them more about it but I really am curious as to what they all have to say. Of course as a result now the plan looks like I should really consider Mexico for the operation. Prices there compared to US surgeons are remarkably cheap. I have heard a lot of good things about the surgeons in Mexico too. So time will tell what happens from here.
Florida Pete

Florida Pete

6
 

Defeated

Well it came out today. My insurance company will not pay for the surgery. It is an exclusion in my insurance no matter what.   I cannot afford to be self paid as my credit is horrible due to a divorce a couple of years ago and quit simply I cannot pay out on it at this time. So chaulk me up to the numerous others out there that would do it in a heartbeat to live a better life but that it is not an option. Back to trying to lose weight the old fashioned way.:party:
Florida Pete

Florida Pete

5
 

14 Weeks Post Op

Well this week wasn't so good. I gained a pound this week. So I am at 391 now instead of the 390 I was at last week. I have to work harder to keep losing the weight. I cannot go back to the way I was before. It's been very rough as far as hunger goes. I have to look closer at my diet again. I am not sure I am getting enough protein throughout the day and so I think it's not helping the fact that I need a fill so badly. Now I know what it's like to not need a fill and then what it's like to desperately need a fill. I would call and get a fill appointment for next week but the fact is I don't have the money budgeted until the first week of April. Thank God that is only 3 more weeks away. I just have to get even tougher on myself in the mean time.   The good news is my wife and I are walking further then we ever have before and we feel great with it. Even last weekend when she asked me if I could go and get her some cough medicine I walked to the CVS by us instead of driving.   What can I do about my diet and appetite while I have to wait this short time until I have my appointment for my fill? Well I think I have to make sure I am getting the much needed protein in my diet. I am not sure I am getting enough protein. It's well known that protein helps you feel fuller longer. So I need to make sure to boost the amount of protein that I have with my meals.   Lastly I need to really step it up some more with the exercising. I know the best way to lose weight is through exercise and diet. The more I lose the more exercise I will need to do to continue the weight loss. I was really good about doing my exercise videos nightly but I had since got lazy and backed off from that. I need to step it back up and continue pushing myself with that. I have a goal for the year and I really need to step it up if I am going to meet that goal.   On another note it's great fitting into the smaller clothes that I have. Even a lot of those clothes are starting to become a little big on me. It's hard to believe at times that I have actually lost this weight in just a short amount of time. I look at pictures from this last October and further back to pictures of today and I am amazed at myself. I want to continue that trend too. So I have to get back on the band wagon and keep the weight loss going.   The scale says 391 lbs A gain of 1 pound this week
Florida Pete

Florida Pete

6
 

13 Weeks Post Op

Well I passed the 3 months mark now losing another pound this week. Not a big loss this week but still a loss. Some times it surprises me that I continue to lose from week to week to week. I have never experience continual weight loss like this. It's great to be putting on clothes that I haven't worn in several years. A big exciting thing too is pretty soon I will be in sizes that I can shop at Walmart for clothes. Yeah I know it's Walmart but hey it's not shopping at the Big & Tall store. For the last 10 plus year that's the ONLY place I have been able to shop and so if I can buy clothes at a normal store that will be a huge change for me. I think I am only about 10 to 20 lbs away from being able to accomplish that NSV Milestone.   I have got to say I directly see the difference between the weeks I work really hard at exercising and the weight loss. I wasn't as stringent this last week and it has shown with only a 1 pound weight loss. So I have got to kick myself in the butt again and get back on track. It's often times hard when other things around you aren't going as well but that can't be used as an excuse for changing your life in a way that will make you live longer and healthier with your family.   Today I am heading out to do some photography and I know I will be able to walk around without getting wore out easily. Just months ago that would have really taken it's toll on me but now I see it in that I can actually enjoy being outside without sweating up a storm and getting short winded.   Well onto another week and continued weight loss.   Current Weight - 390 lbs Loss Since Surgery - 52 lbs (13 weeks) Total Weight Loss - 95 lbs (1yr 1mo)
Florida Pete

Florida Pete

2
 

12 Weeks Post-Op

First of I lost another 3 lbs this week. I can hardly believe it's been 12 weeks now and I have lost 51 lbs since surgery. This weeks weigh in came in at 391 lbs. I am on my way down and love that. I have had some big stresses happen this week with cut backs at work and so I wasn't sure how I was going to do with my weight loss. I did cheat a little on my diet but very quickly got back on track. I had originally set a 15 lbs weight loss goal for February which I didn't beat but I did lose 11 lbs for this month so I am still very happy with my weight loss.   As far as my appetite goes I can tell I am just about ready for another fill. I have one scheduled for the beginning of April so I will have to stay strong until then. I can do it I know. Hard work and dedication is helping me a lot in this journey. Sometimes I think the band has been more of a moral support for me then it has been of a physical one. I know it has helped a lot in my appetite but not as much as people might think. Anyway I am grateful for getting the band and know it's been one of the best decisions I have made in my life.   A big NSV (Non-Scale Victory) for me this week is I can now wear my black jeans comfortably. They are a size 48 which is a size I haven't worn in several years. This weekend Karen and I plan to get out into our garage and find the rest of the small clothes that I have saved. It's amazing what I can and cannot wear now.   So what's the totals???   For the week - 3 lbs For the month - 11 lbs Since surgery - 51 lbs Since my highest weight - 94 lbs
Florida Pete

Florida Pete

1
 

"The Biggest Loser: The Workout" DVD

Ok so I knew I was ready to up my workout routine so this week I started doing the "The Biggest Loser: The Workout" DVD. On the DVD they have a 6-week workout plan and for the first 3 weeks they have 2 workout routines they want you to alternate through every other day for 6 days a week and then the second 3 weeks you change to the other 2 workout routines again every other day for 6 days a week. The first set alternates between a low impact cardio workout and a body sculpting workout (weight training).   The first night I started off with the cardio workout. Boy did I definitely work up a sweat and felt my heart rate go up. I was breathing heavy and really was feeling the exercises. The great part I found about the video is the trainer (Bob) was very much telling the viewer to only go as far as their body would be ready to go. I pushed as hard as I could because I want to make sure I get the best bang for my buck so to speak.   The second night was the body sculpting. First off I had no idea what they were going to do and first off they said grab your weights. What???? Weights??? Well I don't have weights so Karen told me to grab a couple of cans of vegis. Hey it worked. So the work out was going great until they had you lay down on the floor for some abs exercises. OMG that was hard. I still did what I could but I tell you what today I am most definitely feeling that workout. But hey that's ok because just like the walking that I started back in mid-October it will get easier as time goes on and I am working for something better.   So tonight was the third night and back to the low impact cardio and yes I pushed just as hard as the first night. It feels great to work up and good sweat and know it's not from climbing stairs or short walk across a parking lot.   I am still walking 6 days a week also. I know that is still important to get out and do the daily walk as it will help keep my muscles limber for the harder workouts plus it is a great example even at this young of an age for Nicholas to see his mommy and daddy out walking every day for enjoyment and fitness.   So now it's going to be interesting to see how well the weight comes off and how quickly my body size changes too. Hopefully the body sculpting exercises will help my body shape come down nicely too. :toetap05:
Florida Pete

Florida Pete

5
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