Yes, I cried. I am not really sure why, but I did. Well, I knew partly that it was because as I started my pre-op diet today and my old habits would die hard. I knew that today I would start a new journey that would bring me to new points in my life that I have never been before. I was a huge ball of emotions. I was happy that I would reach my goal but sad that I would have to leave my comfort zone in order to do so. Food to me is like a security blanket to a toddler. I will have to find comfort in something else. Maybe that's one reason I cried. What? What would I find comfort in?? Would it be enough to find comfort in each goal that I reach?? I don't know. I am simply going out on a limb knowing that I will grab hold of another "security blanket." a habit that is healthy. Perhaps, it was knowing that I simply couldn't binge as I sometimes did in rough times. I feel like a baby, literally. I know that I will have to learn new habits and find comfort in something else. I have been over weight my whole life so it's almost as if I am going to be reborn again. I read alot of post where people said that, now I really get it. Who will I become?? Will I be the same me?? I like who I am just not what I look like. Wow, this is a lot to take in.
Well fellow bandster and bansters-to-be....I do know one thing; I am going to take this leap with my head held high! I will try not to worry so much about the "what if's" and such. I am greatful that my insurance has approved me! :tongue2:
Maybe I just needed to blog. I do feel better now. :thumbup:
I also know that I am not alone in this world. Someone out there in bandland has felt what I am feeling or something similar.
I will leave my insecurities at this blog. From this day forward I will wake each morning happy and thankful that I have a new happier, healthier life ahead of me. :frown:
Shwooo.....that felt good. Goodbye old worries. Hello new life!!! :smile:
