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Just had maitance appointment - almost cancelled

Ok so this is what is up now On easter sunday i hit my 80 lbs mark - wow pants seem to be growing while i am wearing them - even my skinny pants are now too big i now prefer wearing tighter fitting clothing as i feel i look better i started running - ha did youjust read that I STARTED RUNNING i am a fat girl i look in the mirror and I dont even know who i am - I actually enjoy running now keep in mind i walk most of the route but the down hills and when ia m bored i actually like the running - is nuts this august will be my 2 year bandiversary - seems crazy that it was that long ago - my weight loss journey has been slow but steady - i may have said this once or twice before but i feel like i am breaking up with my best boyfriend ever- food - For me I have a real challenge feeling let down. Even though i am a dependable person and a go to girl ALOT of people in my life have left me well less than satisfied. My family - MY mom - My education - My career - boyfriends but food never let me down chocolate cake has never dissapointed me ( or i probably wuld not have made it up to 273 lbs ) people see me out in town i am a hairstylist so they know who i am and they cant believe it's me - I have even had people who have know me a long time not recognize me and i hardly recognize myself. And now with my food fetish breakup i realize how important food was to me in my life - both my mom and gram have recently passed away that is hard for me as they were the only other women in my family and my daughters they are having a tough time with the deaths especially the younger one. At night she was whimpering when i asked her what was wrong she asked me if i was going to die cause all they women in our family have been dying - scary when i 4 year old comprehends this - so now my journey to become healthy is even more intense. I almost cancelled my maitanance appointment for monday cause i know i am losing weight and not hungry - can get sick if i eat too much so i feel at a good point. But I went was glad to see i have lost 18 lbs in the last 2 months - right on target with where the dr wants me to be. Learning things about my diet everyday - for instance - took my kids to mc donalds - i wte a cheeseburger no bread ate slow chewed well - man that burger sat in my stomach and hurt me for hours - was like my body saying no not todaymy friend. I feel better when i am eating veggies fruits not processed foods - i am partial to peanut butter - wish my local market sold cashew butter i think i like that too - hm m mm mm well is great to have a ittle ice cream and not eat the entire carton - learning a little more each day - so isnt that what life is all about '? check in soon Losing in Braintree
tigerlilyhair

tigerlilyhair

2
 

Long time no see

I have a busy life and have a crazy nutty schedule that rules my life 1 baby daddy, 2 beautiful children, 1 house to run, 1 building to operate , 1 spa to run, 9 employees sometimes varies love interests and a partridge in a pear tree. But anyway i am not 19 months post op. HAVE LOST 74 lbs !!!!! Holy crap - i know i havent blogged in a long time but i now wear a regular ladies pant size 16 comfortably sometime a 14w still having bosy issues and eating issues - think my band is about half full and i am down to only eating about 2-3 oz at a time some funnie things that have changed for me I really cant eat rice or bread without feeling uncomfortable. White heavy foods are very hard to digest so after a while i really dont even want them at all !!! imagine a fat girl not into mashed potatoes. I have to stay very conscious of what i am eating and how much. I can eat anything i really want however the volume is so small i never thought this little food would fill me but it does. After losing 8 pants sizes i find myself wanting to excercise. I bought myself a gazelle excercize machine for christmas. Is great to do 30 minutes makes it a couple miles easy workout but effecient at getting up my heart rate. I am also finding out that i have way more endurance and energy. been working like a dog doing outdoor work - cleaning taking down walls in my house never a dull moment. People have told me how thin my face looks this is where things get strange for me even though i knwo my clothes are smaller and the number on the scale has dropped when i look in the mirror i still see myself as a fat girl. I mean i am actually less than 200 lbs for the first time in like 10 years maybe more - I have never been this thin as an adult. Is great get lots of attention from guys i feel sexy - still curvy i have a big ol butt. thinkin i always will but not that i am at 199 lbs my goal is 150 that means goal is only 49 lbs away at my current rate i am losing about 1-2 lbs a week 49 lbs will be here before 2011 and we all know how fast the years can fly by have even been looking at vacations bathing suits things that just might have made my skin crawl for a while i am now embracing. Is nuts the fat girl still lives in my head though she talks to me - :eat the cake" take one more bite- save that for a little while you will eat more again soon - aaauuuggghhh ! SHut Up already i have more wilpower have thrown away great dinners with moutheatering flavors - just trying my best to listen to my body and when i do that first deep breath at dinner I STOP EATING- is such a novel thing for me i will checkin more often and keep updates current watch out bathing suits stores i am coming in ! :thumbup:
tigerlilyhair

tigerlilyhair

2
 

Now at 11 weeks learning new things !

Ok so now at 11 weeks out i have only lost 25 lbs I will say I have been making a true effort at going to the gym - is tough I have to bring my 2 little girls with me most times not to mention my crazy work schedule - I do feel really great i have gone down 3 pants sizes was a 24 now i can wear at 18 - has been a long time for me since i have been anything lower than a size 20 but I do feel like i am shrinking in some weird ways but still feel on the inside like a fat girl - Guess I have always seemed ok with myself but never liked how i looked truly jus accepting of the fat girl thing - I am seeing people who havent seen me since prior to surgery and they seem to notice a big difference I have had one fill and it was uncomfortable 5 needles they were 2 shots of novacaine and 3 injection attempts but deffinatly felt a differrence i got 1 cc making me be more aware of the portions i am eating cause i can get uncomfortable if i eat a bit too much but i still feel like i am eating more then I should . Keep ya posted
tigerlilyhair

tigerlilyhair

1
 

down 17 lbs and hanging in there

well here i am almost two weeks post surgery have lost 17 lbs scale stopped moving i think i am still losing or maybe the fat is just repositioning itself i feel more roominess in my clothes but the scale is stuck ugggg . . . . . . i guess it is good that my clothes are getting bigger though i will take it - people have started to notice that my ass is shrinking always a good thing - i get my staples out tomorrow cant wait cause they are tender and sore - keeping you posted tomorrow is my 30 th birthday !!! on a good track to a healthier lifestyle ! :party:
tigerlilyhair

tigerlilyhair

4
 

Post band doing well

Ok so my surgery was 8/12 got nervous at first bt now i am doing well getting used to the full feeling eating a bit more then while on the liquid diet my only issue is the staples they are pushing outta my skin and need to be removed were not scheduled till 8/27 for removal bt i think they need to some out now anyways sore and adjusting for today spent the day at the beach and tomorrow is 1 week from my banding i thin i will do just fine
tigerlilyhair

tigerlilyhair

1
 

Day 2 Surviving Liquid Diet

Well here it is sunday night have been liquid for 2 days probably the crappiest days to start this as i attending 2 bridal showers this weekend which with my visual on marriage - was ehhh just ok and i couldnt even waste the time gorging myself on the generosity of other peoples kitchen treats. Actually all of this pre-op diet is makeing me Forcing me to face my issues with food. i didnt think i even had any but now it is like all i talk about how much i cant eat or even how much time eating consumed in my life. Seems like everything i did was around food i am really astonished that i can recognize it and deal with it - has only taken me 30 years right ??? i think i am going to be hottt have already taken before pics to see how much of my fat ass i am whittle away - wow crazy how life goes and changes then grows check back in soon deb :redface:
tigerlilyhair

tigerlilyhair

2
 

August Banding - getting excited

So here it is - i just yesterday had my last office visit before my 8/12 banding i am getting reall excited going to have some clothing optional pictures taken of me so i can compare before and after I have to admit i go completely liquid saturday and i am a lil nervous. Going to get me one of those bullet blenders and some mederma for the scars - I think things are going to be great i really cant wait. This is such a hge step for me and i feel confident with my doctor and the hospital team is great . . . liquid diet is tough is making me confront all my food issues. I guess i never really realized how much of a crutch i used food as. Is really strange- kinda like saying goodbye to an old friend. I know i will see it again but my relationship to food will be completely different. my friends are really being suupportive and family too. Everyone is interested in taking care of me while i am down a lil bit - makes me feel like i am truley appreciated to know so many would come to help me with whatever i needed I am keeping busy reading cleaning etc trying to avoid my kitchen and only buying what i can eat from the grocery store - i will check in more as my journey continues for i have just begun - deb
tigerlilyhair

tigerlilyhair

1
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