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My Surgery is this morning

I went to sleep very easily last night, however I woke up at 3am to use the bathroom and could not get back to sleep. I finally got up around 3:40, checked my email and responded to one of them, then went back to bed. I think I dozed off and on and I just decided to go ahead and get up around 5:45. The first thing I did was pray, before my feet even hit the floor, because if something should happen while I'm in surgery (and I'm not thinking morbid thoughts or anything, I'm just being smart) then I know Me and God are ok, then I'm ok... Then I shook my sheets really good and made my bed (I already put fresh clean ones on) thinking about coming home and climbing back in the bed for a nice nap. (I'm being optimistic and hoping I won't be in too much pain! haha!! So anyway, I'm about to get a shower and get this show on the road. My Mom is picking me up at 7:00, I have to be at the hospital at 9:00 and my surgery is around 10:30. Thought we'd stop for a nice breakfast on the way.....LOL!!! JUST KIDDING!! It takes an hour and 15 or 20 min to get to the hospital from my house and we don't know EXACTLY where were going when we get to the hospital so... My daughter Katie (who is almost 19, is going with us also. She will be my primary caregiver for the next couple of days. SO---My journey begins... feeling ever so slightly nervous, but optimistic.:redface:
angie61

angie61

1
 

July 12, 2008

Well, it's a saturday and I don't have to work today, so I thought this would be a good day to start my new blog. I, like some of the others on here,am suffering from the "last supper" syndrome. Since I heard for sure I am having this surgery, I have eaten anything I wanted to eat without thought for calories,etc. as a result I have gained about 5 lbs. since my last doctors visit. Now I don't feel like going out anywhere because I feel like a fat pig! My belly is huge (no huger than usual I guess, but it feels like it!) 5 pounds really does make a huge difference! My surgery is scheduled for July 30th. I am an LPN at a community health center, but I have been moonlighting as a waitress at a local diner type family restaurant since January. A month ago, I gave my notice. I will miss the extra cash, but I need this time for me. Next Saturday will be my LAST scheduled work day there. I told her I will fill in for her on occassion, but my nights are now mine!! My intentions are to get in the habit of walking almost every night after work. (I feel too big to start now...people will think "who is that pregnant woman walking? She's about nine months...hmmm must be trying to start her labor!" haha!! but I'm hoping a few days after surgery and after a week of the liquid diet, my belly will go down a bit and I won't feel so self conscious. Also I will use my time to cook healthy meals. I am not much of a cook. I have been separated from my husband of 25 years, for 21 months, and since then, I just don't have much of a reason/desire to cook. My 19 year old daughter is content with a grilled cheese sandwich or cereal..or more usual for us, on my nights off, we eat out! So I'm planning on using the book my doctor gave me on my consultation visit, to cook up some healthier, new kind of recipes. (when I was with my husband, I cooked really fattening meat, potato, gravy meals). I am SO excited about this surgery, it just doesn't seem real! My insurance wouldn't pay for it, but my husband was kind enough to add me to his policy (out of his pocket) because his insurance does cover it! This is so surreal... I still can't believe it. Finally my "luck" is changing. I am a faithful christian and was truly trying to follow the Lords instruction by planting seeds to others about the love of Jesus. Then I began to suspect my husband was having an affair, then I knew he was but I didn't know with whom. Finally I found out who, but still didn't and don't know why. We rarely fought, went on motorcycle trips together and generally got along very well..anyway, long story short, my daughter and I left and I am now living in a tiny apartment and have been feeling as though God let ME down (still loving him though!) I know it wasn't God that was involved in that, but sometimes when we hurt, we don't think rationally. Any way,It seems that things are finally looking up for me once again. At times I was so lonely and feeling desparate, but nobody asked me out in all this time (well, actually a 60 year old gentleman from the restaurant has asked me out a couple of times, but...he's 60!!) and I used to feel like I wish I could find somebody to love me... but now.. I'm great with that!! I don't mind being alone sometimes. I'm so glad God didn't allow anyone to come into my life prematurely. I know now, that I wasn't ready even though I thought I was. So, I will use this time as a time for getting to know the new me, the one that has been there all along, underneath the fat exterior. I will welcome my friends to get to know me better. I am a good person now, I know this. But good can get even better!!! More later.:biggrin:
angie61

angie61

1
 

first blog

Hello everyone. My surgery is set for July 30th. I still have to wait and see if the Insurance company approves me. I do have the benefit, if I qualify. I'm pretty sure I do. I have been to the seminar, been to the one mandatory support group meeting (I would go to them alot if I lived closer) I've met with the nutritionist, the personal trainer, and had my psych eval and upper GI. The only thing left besides surgery, is an EKG and some bloodwork. I work in a doctors office, so that won't be a problem.and I PRAY that insurance will approve me. Funny story...my husband and I have been separated for 20 months due to infidelity on his part. It's been a rough go of it! However we have managed to remain fairly close. He never brings "HER" out anywhere he thinks I would be. He actually doesn't bring her out much at all (a little more now ,then in the past) (she's a petite little thing of course!) ANYWAY...long story short, My insurance wouldn't pay for this surgery, so my estranged husband was kind enough to put me on HIS insurance!!! He does have to pay out of pocket for me to be on his insurance, but at least I am on there. so basically he is paying for me to get this done! Now as far as I am concerned there is NO CHANCE for reconcilliation as I would never trust him again (this is his second chance...he cheated when we were first married, we have now been married 25 years and he did it again ...who knows how many times he did it that I didn't know about,right?) but wouldn't it be funny if he saw me all skinny and everything and wanted me back and I had the satisfaction of saying "uh sorry...but NO!!!!" :cool2::thumbup: Enough for now, will keep on blogging later!!
angie61

angie61

3
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