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When Support Group Members "Attack"....

**Warning, a long one** Ok, this is not a Fox special or anything (haha) - just more of a rant and/or request for others' insight on dealing. So today I attended my very first lap band support group meeting at my surgeon's office. They have them once a month on Thursday and Saturday. I can make a commitment to that no problem! I've attended "support" groups in the past for other weight loss groups (Weight Watchers, Optifast, etc) and often don't stay committed because they can really turn into "whine-fests" quickly when there isn't a strong leader to focus the conversations. I was thrilled when the office newsletter announced that they had just started TOPIC-FOCUSED support groups. Even better - this probably meant less of a chance for a whine-fest. (Don't get me wrong, everyone needs an outlet - but it shouldn't be at the expense of other people's time, or so needy that no one else gets to speak). So anyhow, before we even get taken back to the meeting room there are a couple of women talking over everyone with the "me, me, me" and "I, I, I" conversations. You know the type (The "I will have every mundane question of MINE answered, and I will interrupt the speaker every two minutes or less, to give my point of view/experience" people). And the funny thing is, one of them even complained that they didn't like the fact that it was going to be a "topic driven" group - that just reaffirmed my suspicions those women were the support group hi-jacking type. Sure enough, before the three speakers can even get started one of those women is asking questions, and complaining about this or that. Finally, one of the leaders did get rolling on her presentation, and I kid you not - when the woman wasn't interrupting with her own questions or experiences, she was constantly speaking out loud in agreement or wonderment as if she was the only one in the room. I swear the woman REALLY just liked to hear herself speak. It was a pretty big group, and there were at least two other people who kept interrupting the presenters, but she was by far the worst. Thank goodness my husband (who never wants to go with me again now thanks to her) was sitting between us! haha It was so damn annoying that I'm not sure I would continue to attend the meetings, because people like that really take away from the usefulness. For me - lapbandtalk.com is the place to get my non-critical questions answered, share my experiences, and get out my own "whine-fests". But I don't feel guilty about it here. People can choose whether or not to read what I write, and it's on our own time. With someone in a group meeting, you just don't have the luxury of "un-hearing" them. I know it may sound cruel, I understand not everyone has people they can talk to - and perhaps that is their time to let it all out. But I just wish they knew the bad stigma they leave in others minds about attending support groups, and why so many people stop attending. Anyone else feel the same, or have suggestions for me on having more patience with these types? Take care all!! :thumbup:
leknigh

leknigh

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Thinking WAY Ahead...What if I've never been skinny?!?!

Hello all! Now officially two days out from banding, and still surprised at how well I'm feeling (thrilled with that of course!!). I am still sleeping in a recliner, but will try the bed tonight - we'll see. Anyhow, not the point of this blog. The point of it was - that I was feeling hopeful and thinking about the months to come. I know with any goal, people say that visualizing is a great tool. Well, for me - my goal would be visualizing myself as a "healthy weight" person. But I'm finding that SOOOO difficult to do. It's not upsetting me or anything, it's just that I've honestly never been skinny, not even in childhood. I just don't know what I'm supposed to picture. It's a foreign thought in my head really. I guess I'll just have to look at it as a series of surprises over the next year or two. At any rate it will be a surprise I'm looking forward to. More than anything, I will probably be focusing more on how I feel, and how much more I am able to do, as opposed to how I look. I think that's a healthier way for me to approach it - but still, I will continue to have this curiosity about what a "skinny" me will look like. Anyone else been there/done that?
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leknigh

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Aug. 5th - The BIG Day!

So in less than 24 hours from now, I will have been banded. So hard to believe! My surgery is at 7:30am (first one of the day). I considered lap band about a year ago, did very little researching, and never really thought about it again until a couple months ago. Then a little over a month ago I really started doing my research and attending information seminars for different surgeons. Never in a million years did I actually think I'd go through with it, or that I would go through with it so quickly (I decided to take the self-pay route so I didn't lose my nerve again, or take on another 6 months of "dieting" that would only further frustrate me). So here I sit, trying to imagine what tomorrow will be like for me. The nerves are definitely there, and I'm sure they'll be working overtime tomorrow morning - but for now, I'm also feeling some of the excitement and hope for the possibilities this "tool" will offer me. So send some good thoughts my way, and for those of you already banded - feel free to send me some pointers for those first few days after surgery too. Take care everyone! :redface:
leknigh

leknigh

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The things I look forward to...

When I stepped out of the shower last night, I realized that the only clean towels were the "normal" bath towels. All of my "beach size" bath towels were sitting in the dryer not yet put away. Of course a "normal" bath towel doesn't wrap completely around this curvy body and I'm left trying to figure out what parts I want to cover most! Looking in the mirror at the bath towel only going around about 75% (if that) of my body really made me think about all the things that can change with this surgery. The things I can look forward to (that I think many of you can appreciate, but most "normal" size people never give a second thought to..).   So here's my own personal list of things I'm looking forward to when this weight starts to come off: 1) Completely wrapping a "normal" size towel around my body! 2) Being able to participate in fun activities and not worry about whether or not my weight will exceed some set limit that would keep me from participating. (Ex. horseback riding, canoeing, skydiving, etc...) 3) My husband being able to actually pick me up/lift me - I never had that chance to get carried over the threshhold of our new home after we got married! Old tradition I know - but just the fact that it couldn't be done made me sad.... 4) Having less surface area on my legs to shave (haha)... 5) Wearing sleeveless tops - as it is right now I REFUSE! 6) Being able to actually live my life, not just pretending to live my life while constantly worrying about how I look, or what someone must be thinking about how I look!!!!!! 7) Riding my bike up a hill (a small one) without having to get off and just push the bike up because it felt like I was trying to two a U-Haul behind me 8) Wearing cute gym clothes and/or pajamas - not just hiding behind stretchy pants and a large t-shirt 9) Not leaving the house because I'm having a "fat day" and don't feel like I have anything that fits me right 10) Not having to start another diet (or attempt at lifestyle change) with the thought "this time it will be different", only to find that's not true.....   I think 10 is enough for now :wink:
leknigh

leknigh

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