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Don't waste the pretty

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Busy Day = eat less

I had a full on day at work today. I orgainsed for all of the radio stations in Brisbane to donate some equipment to a local hospital and we had the presentation today. It was a great success and lots of media coverage. I'm feeling quite pleased with myself now. Anyway, I was sooooo busy I really didn't have time, nore felt like eating. By late afternnon I thought I probably should eat something substantial or I might over do it at dinner. I see Dr Bowden in the morning and I am hoping for a fill.   Today I Ate   Latte Banana - mashed up Skim Latte Cauliflower, Avocado and chicken mash glass Nudie juice 2 x small corn wrap with mince and avocado coffee Metamucil Medications
Fleur

Fleur

1
 

Bugger Easter

This Easter has been a bit of a bugger really. I have had my ups and downs with food the past few days but that pails into insignificance when compared with what our neighborhood has suffered this Easter. Our house backs onto a lake which the public have access to. It's a lovely place for our kids and we take them to play or ride around the lake virtually every day. On Good Friday my husband Andrew took our son to the jetty directly out the back of our house to catch little guppies in his net. They started playing with a group of young boys who were also on the jetty and their mothers were picnicking nearby. Angus shared his fishing net with the boys but as it often does things ended in a fight and Andrew bought Angus home. About 45 minutes later one of the little boys Angus was playing with went missing. Within an hour there were police everywhere, 2 rescue choppers and 60 odd SES rescuers trying to find this little boy - Nathan. Sadly police divers found his body later that night caught up in weed under the jetty. This has affected both Andrew and I terribly. Not only was it out the back of our house but Nathan was Millie’s age. As far as food goes I have eaten less than I normally would but it hasn't been all puree stuff. At least one meal each day had been regular food which I have chewed very well. And I'm still working on eating slower.
Fleur

Fleur

1
 

Blocked but I lost

Since I last wrote in my journal I have put on weight, had a fill, had a block then lost the weight I've gained - then some. Today I'm 84 kg with 15 to go. I've got me school reunion in less than a month so I'll take my weight loss where I can get it thanks. Getting a block sucks big time. I was eating Thai food with my family and we were talking and I just forgot to chew properly. I had a hell night with reflux and the next day bought up the unchewed vegies. So there was a big fat lesson in Chew Chew Chew!
Fleur

Fleur

1
 

Blocked

I had my first block. I came home late and hungry so I ate a couple of dry biscuits just a bit too quickly. I had a block for about an hour. I was PBing despretly trying to get it to clear. A bit of soda water eventually did the trick.   I have been eating less which is encouraging but I'm not sure I have lost any weight in the past few days.
Fleur

Fleur

1
 

Bit Hungry

Today I felt real hunger for the first time. I was worried about eating more and not really feeling full so I called the Doctor. She said that it sounds like the fluids are passing through the band well and I may need to go on to puree's sooner. I may aslo have my first fill when I see Dr Bowden next week.   Today I ate: Optifast with Banana 1 1/2 cups vegie soup Coffee Prune juice Optifast with tinned fruit 1 1/2 cups pea soup puree tinned apricots 2 cups vegie curry soup Water Medication
Fleur

Fleur

1
 

Banding Eve

Oh my God, I never expected to be this nervous. I gave myself the mother of all migranes last night worrying about it.   I feel quite teary. I just want it to be over so I can get on with it. The anticipation is killing me.   I'm also still lacking confidence - what if I turn into a milkshake drinking, icecream monster!!!! What then!!! What if I becoem one of these crazy people who for whatever, deep rooted, reason want to stay fat and cheat the band. This is my last and best hope of living without a weight problem. God even writing that down....'life without a weight problem'..... seems so overwealming & exciting & scary & the impossible dream.   Soooo... here I go. What started out as a lightening bolt wake up call a couple of months ago is now a reality. Wish me luck....... F
Fleur

Fleur

1
 

Back to the 80's

WellI haven't been here for a while. Today I broke the dreaded 90kg mark and weighed in at 89kg. I have been 90kg for a month and getting rather sick of it but this morning I had a breakthrough. I have started making a big jug of fresh veggie and fruit juice. It lasts me 3 to 4 days I love it and I have noticed a big difference in my digestion.
Fleur

Fleur

1
 

Another Kilo Down

Yesterday I weighed in at 85kg which is a total lost of 22kg with 16 to go. I have my 20 year school reunion in 8 weeks and I've set myself the goal of being 80kg for that. To achive this I need to 'up-the-ani' so I set myself the task of walking each day and eating a lot better meals. My husband and I have just come back from Tokyo where we ate raw fish and walked heaps. We both felt a lot better for it and becasue it was so hot there I drank a lot of water - another good thing! So in the next 8 weeks and with spring just started I'm looking forward to getting myself together for the reunion.
Fleur

Fleur

1
 

Another KG bites the dust

Went to Sydney for a long weekend and lost another KG. It seems when I am busy and on the go I loose weight easily. Also a bit of walking the streets shopping also helps. I am delighted to have a new all time low of 94.5 - now my job is to stabalise this weight and hold it over the Christmas period. I've started a little job working in a sweedish stationery shop which I love but the best part is I am on my feet all day and I am being active. Confession time: I am still drinking too much. I just love champagne. My shrink did warn me that I may substitute one bad habit with another.
Fleur

Fleur

1
 

Another Fill

I had another fill today. Just .5ml this time but I can already feel more restriction. I'm down to 100 kg now so that's 7kg lost.   I'm still not making great food choices so I have to work now with my dietician to eat better. After all anyone can cheat the band and I never want to be one of those people. So now the band is doing it's job and taking away much of the hinger I have to do my part and eat better.
Fleur

Fleur

1
 

And She Sleeps....

Today was a day of rest. I must of needed it becuase I had no trouble sleeping the whole day away. I'm trying not to feel guilty!! My swelling started to go down and becuase its Monday I weighed myself - 103kg. I'm pleased with that. I also went for a walk today around the lake. I just went once around and it took me 30 min with stretching at the end.   I'm still not hungry but I can easily have a couple of cups of soup and I feel satisfied but not full like I can't fit another thing in. Hope that's normal.   Today I ate:   Optifast vanilla drink blended with a banana 1/2 cup coffee 1 1/2 cup of Zuccini Soup Optifast vanilla drink with banana 2 1/2 cups of blended pea and bacon soup Hot chocolate on skim milk Coffee Water Medication Prune Juice - yick!!
Fleur

Fleur

1
 

Afternoon tea crisis

Yesterday we had family over to celebrate my daughters 3rd Birthday. I served afternoon tea and with out even thinking I ate a couple of scones and an egg sandwich. I didnt have lunch or dinner so I dont feel terribly bad but I am just wondering if it's normal to not feel any restriction after eating that. I think I really need a fill. I see Dr Bowden on Wed. Morning. Hovering a smidge above 101kg. I'd like to be an easy 101 by Wednesday.   Today I ate Scrambled egg - 3 eggs coffee 1 1/2 cups yoghurt refried beans 1/2 avocado and mashed up egg 1 cup yoghurt coffee Mashed Cauliflower coffee Matamucil Medications Water   Yesterday I ate   1 cup saltana bran with hot milk latte 2 glasses champagne 2 small scones with cram and jam 1 egg & lettace sandwich very small slice cake coffee 3-4 m&m's
Fleur

Fleur

1
 

9 days till banding

I've missed my Jounal!!!!!   I took my measurments the other day:   Bust: 115cm Waist: 105.5 cm Hip: 138 cm - Yikes!!!   Today was a bit tough. Optifast is messing with my head. I'm a bit cranky and don't want to go out much. I'm coping by having lots of nice salads and roast vegies. I also have frozen raspberries with the chocolate mousse. I allow myself to have some milk with my coffee. I just can't cope without it. Anyway tomorrow is half way with the Optifast so if I can do one week, I can do another.   I see Dr Bowden again tomorrow - my last appointment before the operation. I'm gatting a bit excited - scarry excited!!   F
Fleur

Fleur

1
 

80 kgs - Yippie!

Well, I certainly wasn't expecting it but when I weighed myself this morning I came in at 80.9kgs. A new all time low. I'm looking forward to my trip to the US in a few weeks and I know we will do lots of walking so hopefully the magic 70's won't be too far away.
Fleur

Fleur

1
 

8 days till banding

I saw Dr Bowden again today. My last appontment before the op. Everything is cool. I'm satisfied with all the info I have and I'm just looking forward to it now - in a strange sort of way.   Still not loving the optifast, although Dr Bowden said I could have some skim milk in my coffee - god love his skinny arse!!!   I weigh 104.4kg today with 1 week to go.
Fleur

Fleur

1
 

7 days till banding

Not a great day. I stayed home all day. I feel like I need to stay home but if I'm home I have greater access to the fridge - bummer. Today I had to eat something other than vegies, berries or a shake - so I had some cheese and bacon. My dietician siad if I was desperate have some protien. I do feel better for it but I'm disappointed in myself for needing to. I find the afternoon the hardest. I'm realy hungry late afternoon but too early for dinner.   God this really isnt easy - is it?? I have just read some posts by ladies who are gaining weight and still hungry after banding. This scares me because I kind of expected to do pretty well in the weks just after banding.   I thought that I'd get hungry but feel full quickly and not feel hungry again until the next meal. I kind of even expect to have the odd through up but I will be terribly, terribly dissapointed if I dont loose weight or god forbid gain weight.   I need to hear some good stories to make feel confident again.
Fleur

Fleur

1
 

6 Months have passed

It's been a while since my last post and there is a very good reason for that. Last year before my reunion I was desperate to lose as much weight as possible so I had too much fill put in. Way, Way too tight. Not only could I hardly eat a thing, drinking was very slow and I couldn't sleep beacuse I couldn't swallow my own saliva in my sleep so I'd wake all the time coughing and spluttering.....nasty, as very very unhealthy. My fill doctor was away when I realised I was on the fast track to nowhere so I went to the emergency room at my nerest private hospital. They were happy to take out my fill but not just a bit...all of it and I could get it put back in when my doctor returned from holidays. At the time I was happy with that and just releaved to be able to eat and drink but what I didn't know was exactly how much weight I could put on so quickly and how slowly my doctor would fill me up again. To cut a long story short, I put on 7kgs over last Christmas and it took several months and many trips to the doctor to get my fill back up to a good level. I was so angry with myself for letting that happen that I couldnt being myself to update my profile to say I had put on weight. So that's why the 6 month holiday from lapband talk. Today, I weighed in at 81.3 Kg but this time I am not starving and I'm not dehydrated. I'm off to New York, Vegas and LA in 6 weeks and I'd like to be in the 70's by then. Today, to celebrate being back on track, I've taken my measurements. They are: Bust: 98 cm, Waist, 86 cm & Hip 116cm. I'll keep you posted... Fleur xx
Fleur

Fleur

1
 

4 days till banding

Not the best weekend for eating. Had a few social things and ate things I shouldn't. Just further proof, I suppose that dieting does not work for me. In the past when I have been using Optifast or any other restrictive diet, I would do great for a week or so but I would have to eventually lash out and then almost certainly it would send me spiralling o ut of controle. So I'm not surprised I could not stay on OPtifast for 2 weeks but I'm still a bit dissapointed in myself. Anyeway I'm back on the Optifast now and I know I can stick with it till Wednesday.
Fleur

Fleur

1
 

2nd Fill under my belt

Last Tuesday I had my second fill - another 1ml. I have felt really good restriction all week but have felt a little easing off today but I'm not hungry as such just when I eat I dont feel as restricted. I'm back down to 101kg which is what I was a week after surgery. I am booked infor another fill next Tuesday and I'm hoping for another fill. My doctor said I will probaby need at least 3ml. Today is Mothers Day:   I ate:   Coffee Sm bowl yogurt Coffee 1 Glass of Champagne Chicken & Avocado entre Fish and salad - only ate 2/3 Nudie ice block 2 glasses champagne
Fleur

Fleur

1
 

26 kg lost

I've been waiting for this one and this morning I hit 81 kilos. I was loosing a steady kilo per week last month in the lead up to my school reunion and then I stayed the same for a couple of weeks on 82 then this morning when I really wasn't expecting it I hit 81. Now I will focus on the Big 80. That's a good milestone to get to. I now weigh less than my wedding weight and for the first time in a million years I weight less than my husband. The reunion was good. Most people didn't recognise me which was satisfying. Not that I was that big a school. I an off to the beach with the kids for a few day now so here's hoping I can hold onto 81 kilos whilst in holiday mode.
Fleur

Fleur

2
 

25kg

This morning I weighed in a kilo lighter bringing me to the total loss of 25 kilos. I did have a bad night last night with refux so I don't knoe how much of that is dyhydration but I have been pumping water into me today and a loss is a loss and I'll take it where I find it. Bought some size 14 jeans last week (That's a 12 in the US) and while they are tight they are flattering and make me look both slim and tall. Every kilo seems to show up more now. In the beginning I had lost 10 kils before anyone really noticed but now every kilo makes a difference. My school reunion in in less that 2 weeks. I would be nice to be 81kilos by then but we'll see. Might be time to take some more photos
Fleur

Fleur

1
 

24kg Lost

I've spent the last few days working in Melbourne. I worked pretty hard and didn't eat too much although what I did eat was party food. Anyhow, I managed to lose another KG. Now I'm 83 kilos with 14 to go. I was blocked last night so I didn't sleep well becasue of the reflux but I'monthe mend today. Since I've lost a few kilos now since my last measurements I thought I might re do them now: Bust 101cm - down 4cm since last measure and 14cm all up Waist 87cm - down 5cm since last measure and 18.5cm all up Hips 119cm - down 1.5cm since last measure and 19cm all up
Fleur

Fleur

1
 

20kg Lost

Today I weighed in at 87kg. which is a total of 20 kg lost - a milestone for me. I remember my doctor saying to me before the operation that I could expect to loose 20 kg in the first 2 years. I did it in just over a year and while I know some bandster have lost heaps more in that time I am still thrilled to bits with 20kg. Sitting in the doctors office that day I remember feeling that 20kg seemed like an impossible dream. The band has allowed me to loose this weight slowly and without having to deprive myself or go on an unmaintainable lifestyle change. That's been the big key for me. I don't feel like I'm hanging on for dear life - affraid to slip up and start putting weight back on again like with all those diets. I know I will not regain the weight I've lost because I haven't had to flogg myself to lose it. I also posted some photos on the Aussie Before and after thread - never thought I'd be doing that.
Fleur

Fleur

2
 

2 Days till banding

Today I feel overwhelmed and worried that I will cheat the band. I had a phone appointment with my psycologist today and as she rightly pointed out I need to work on 'complience' - or my ability to stick with it. This is the rock in the bottom of my stomach. I have only ever know failure with my weight or short term success, so it's very hard for me to be 100% positive that I will do all that is necessary to work with the band. I dont know what i'll do if I fail again. I want to change and need to change so much but in my head I keep doubting myself.
Fleur

Fleur

1
 

18 Days till banding

I'm obsessed with finding out all I can before my LB day on the 30th March. I have no doubt that I am doing the right thing but what if I let myself down. I'ts hard to be confident when all else has failed in the past. If this doesnt work - then what. I consider myself of above average intelligence and faily capable but when it comes to weight loss all I've ever known is failure or limited success followed by failure. Funny, but the things that make me doubt myself are the ones that make this an appropriate option for me. I guess I'll feel better when I know what I'm dealing with, until then I'll keep on Truckin. I meet Dr Bowden tomorrow and Beres (GP) for a referral and hopefully some encouragement.   I've been eating heaps - like I'm trying to get it all in before it starts.   God knows what I'll weigh when I start on Optifast on Thursday.   Fleur
Fleur

Fleur

1
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