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My feelings, and dealing with them

I have only told my family, my husband(of course) and my two best friends about my surgery. I don't want to tell my in laws because they know someone who has had a bad experience with lapband. I don't want them to know until I feel comfortable telling them. My husbands sister is the one I worry about the most though. I have always felt she was uncomfortable around me because I am overweight. She isn't super skinny, but she is on the thinner side of healthy. But I am worried that she will think I was too lazy and let myself get this bad on my own. I'm only 23!!! most of the bad choices I made were when I was young and inexperienced!!! I didn't understand what I was doing to myself! I have tried to lose the weight, but it always comes back and then some. I can't do it alone, I NEED help on this. I need a tool to help me reach a healthy weight!   Anyway, I guess all this was to say that I don't feel comfortable telling anyone yet, and I'm maybe a little ashamed. Has anyone else felt this way??? :crying:
lotzasunshine

lotzasunshine

4
 

This is it!

Here I go guys!! Wish me luck! I'm being banded tomorrow at 11am!!!!!!! I am nervous, but nothing I can't handle. I am starting to get excited again!:smile2:
lotzasunshine

lotzasunshine

3
 

My Day!!!

So I have scheduled my appointment for surgery and am SO excited!! It will be on July 16th. I really feel that this will change my life. Not that my life is bad, but my health is. So if anyone is out there reading this and wants to give me any info, I would very much appreciate it!!
lotzasunshine

lotzasunshine

3
 

The start of my WLS Journey

I thought about having this done several months ago, but I knew there was no way my insurance would cover it, and we don't have that kind of money. Hubby and I are paying off medical bills from his 2 knee surgeries last year. So I put it on the back burner..... waaaaayyyy back. I had decided it would never happen and was starting to think I would be obese and unhealthy the rest of my life. But my Mother approached me last month and offered my Dad's bonus from work to pay for it. Could anyone have better parents??? Mine are not rich by any means, but say that my health is something worth paying for. They are the best parents in the world!!! Just thought I would let you all know what a blessing this really is going to be for me!! Because of this surgery I may become more fertile and able to get pregnant, and by losing the weight I will be able to run and play with my children, and not have them be embarrassed because I'm the "fat mom". I will be able to walk up a flight of stairs without being winded. I will be able to fasten my seatbelt without sucking it all in. Planes will be a breeze, as well as roller-coasters. I am looking forward to trying my hardest to use this gift I have been given, to change my life.
lotzasunshine

lotzasunshine

3
 

Getting very excited!!

So I have always had a problem where I never want to get disappointed so I don't let myself get my hopes up. I have been doubting that this would happen, especially because my parents are paying for it. I just kept thinking, "don't get too excited because something may come up and it might not happen":sad:. But on Thursday my Dad called with all the information I needed to pay for my surgery. I called and payed and now all I have left to do is be excited for it!! Now I keep thinking "This is really happening!!!!!" I can't wait!!   I went to the store today and bought a lot of veggies and some meat that I can have on my preop diet (I start that tomorrow). I am ready to do this 100%!!! :shades_smile:   I was a little disappointed though because I heard that they will be doing work on the pool at my college so I cannot take my water fitness class, but I immediately signed up for a strength training class instead. I'll have to take water fitness during spring semester. I love that class, especially when we play water polo!!   Well, I guess this is a long blog, but I just needed to write down my feelings! Thanks to all who are reading!!
lotzasunshine

lotzasunshine

3
 

A breakthrough!!!

So I have been having a really hard time with my preop diet, and am on my fourth day. Yesterday I kind of had a breakdown... my poor hubby took the brunt. I was just getting really frustrated about not eating carbs, I really am addicted I think. So I was crying and all upset and wondering if I'm doing the right thing.   Then I wake up this morning with a headache(what esle should I expect after crying so much?) and decided to weight myself. I AM DOWN 3LBS!!!!!! YAY!!!   I am VERY happy today and the diet doesn't seem as hard. I know it must be all in my head, but I really do feel like I'm better today. I can keep going. I WILL keep going, because I am worth the work!!!:shades_smile:
lotzasunshine

lotzasunshine

2
 

Consult with Dr. Kirshenbaum

So I just had my phone consult with my doctor today. He went over everything, most of it I already knew, but it was a good refresher course. I will be starting my pre-op diet on July 6th so the 4th will be my last big food holiday. I really don't think I'll miss it that much. Anyway, that is the update with me.   oh, I also am going to buy a pregnancy test. I had a really weird period last month and it lasted 10 days. Counting from the first day of my last period I am about 5 days late. I don't think I am pregnant, but better safe than sorry right?
lotzasunshine

lotzasunshine

1
 

My surgery story

So I am now a bandster!! I couldn't be happier! I had a wonderful experience with Dr. kirshenbaum at the office, and the surgical center. The nurses were so sweet! I woke up from the drugs, and had a hard time getting back to being coherent. I asked for my husband right away, but she wouldn't let him come back until I ate some ice chips. I was a little grumpy about that, cuz all I wanted was him. So I finally took the ice chips and she let him back, and had him make sure that I ate a popsicle. It still took me a while to wake up enough to get to a chair, and sat there for another 30 minutes. Then back to the hotel we went. To be honest, I don't remember a whole lot more about that day. The next day we packed up and headed out. I know, I know, the day after surgery is a bad travel day. But we returned the rental car, I thought the driver of the shuttle was hitting every bump on purpose!! I was almost crying when we finally got to the airport. Took my meds again, and found the ticketing line. DH had me sit until they needed me too, and then they had a very nice gentleman bring a wheelchair for me. They pushed me right past the line for security and we got to cut through. Then I got to ride a nice cart to our terminal. The plane ride was pretty awful, because there is a lot of turbulence between SLC and Denver. But I asked for a belt extension so that I could wrap my pillow around me, to soften the bumps. I thought I would be mortified asking for one, but at that point I really didn't care who saw. So we arrive in SLC and I figure that the walk from our terminal to the pick up area would help with the gas(SLC is not a huge airport). We got our bags and met my SIL and went home. So here I am 3 days after surgery and doing pretty good. I still have gas pains, but they are getting better.   DH says he never wants to see me in this much pain again, and I told him it will be more painful, and more recovery time when I have a baby, so this is his trial run Anyway, I think I may try to sick with clears again today, just to see how it goes. I tried a bite of jello last night and felt quite a bit of pressure in my chest.   Lost another pound today. That makes 10 since starting the preop diet.:smile2:
lotzasunshine

lotzasunshine

1
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