Today marks my one week anniversary with my band.
The last week has been the hardest of my life, no exaggeration.
The pain has eased since i was discharged from hospital on friday, but it has still been hard.
I am struggling on the liquid diet.
I have never been a fan of soups or milk (in shakes) so i am finding it very difficult.
I have stuck to the liquid diet, but i don't know how much longer I can do it.
It's not that the liquids aren't filling; I don't get hungry... I just want food! I miss the chewing and swallowing food and the taste and freedom to eat what I want.
I never considered that having the band would be so hard mentally and emotionally.
I cried all night last night thinking that I have made the biggest mistake of my life in getting the band, and that if it wasn't for all the pain and bad experience I went through in hospital to get it in, I would have it removed.
Everyone keeps telling me to invisage myself and what I will look like in a years time, but the thing is I don't care.
I was happy with who I was. It wasn't until I started considering the band and had all my appointments that I started becoming unhappy with who I was (probably because all the doctors and specialists were telling me that I was not good enough because of my weight).
My weight was not really holding me back; I still went out with friends, I didn't have any problems with men and dating.
This realisation has made sticking to the liquid diet even harder.
On another front, the night before my surgery I had a date with an amazing guy. He knew that I was going into hospital for an operation, but not what for.
he came and visited my whilst I was recovering, but has now backed off, saying that he cant be the support that I need while I am getting better (I think he thinks that I was sick, hence having an operation.. not that it was elective).
If I didnt have the band, none of this would have happened and we would have continued dating.
I don't know how things will work out now.
I am going to suggest going out next weekend to him (I have my post-op appt with my surgeon on Friday, so I will ask him after that, and let him know that I am recovered).
I really hope things work out well with him because he is the most gentlemanly man I have ever met!
Weight wise, I have only dropped 0.5kg since the operation. I am still swollen and bloated, so I am hoping that once that goes down so will the weight.
ok so it was only this morning that i posted my blog entailing how hard i was finding it on a liquid diet.
i had not slipped for a week on it...until tonight :cursing:
i had a few mouthfulls of mashed potatoe's and i mashed up some weet-bix. they would be fine on the 'mushy' diet, but i am still on liquid.
they went down fine, but i was surprised how i little i could eat!
i havent had my first fill yet, but i still am feeling full after eating less than a quarter of what i use to eat! its crazy! but it's good i guess.
i dont know whether i should continue to cheat a little so i can survive, or discipline myself more and stay on the liquid diet.
its just so hard :thumbup:
Ok well my stay in hospital was longer than expected!
I was booked for surgery on the 19th of May, which went ahead fine... however the pain after surgery was a big problem for me.
The surgeon was concerned about the amount of pain I was in and that something was wrong.
So after endless people touching and feeling their way across my unbelievably sore stomach, x-rays and ct scans, they found that there was nothing wrong, however my internal swelling was taking more time than usual to go down... hence the pain staying for longer than it should. I spent 5 days in hospital on morphie and pethadine... NOT a good experience! hopefully it will all pay off in the long run :thumbdown:
This is my 4th day on the fluid's diet and already I am struggling! Not only do i feel the need to chew, but i want normal food! I want to be able to eat! It's driving me insane!
Weightloss wise, Since I commenced the optifast (2 weeks prior to surgery) up to today (5 days post op) I have lost 10kg... a good start I think!
