I am getting incredibly cabin fever-ed here. I'm peopled out, I'm relatived out, I'm tired of everything, and I want to go home.
I'm tired of being itchy and sore all the time.
I hate having to "take it easy".
I hate that I'm so restless.
I hate that eating has become such a royal pain in the neck.
I hate feeling like I'm scrutinized and being paraded around like an accomplishment.
I hate that I'm so tired in the evenings, and just can't freakin' sleep.
I hate that I'm an insomniac. It's so frustrating.
I hate the stupid barking dog outside.
I hate that i have to eat over 30 minutes. I don't mind the chewing bit, but I do mind the sitting there like an idiot having to time myself so I don't eat too fast.
I hate that I can't gauge how much I can eat. I am constantly leaving myself hungry, and thus get frenzied out.
I hate that I'm so paranoid about PB'ing, that I'm actually eating less than I'm supposed to, for fear of throwing up.
I hate that I ate so late, and thus, feeling very overfull, and just uncomfortable.
I hate feeling regret about getting this operation in the first place. This is a royal pain in the neck.
I'm impatient. It's always been my vice.
Tomorrow... I have to move. I can't sit on my ass all day anymore. This stinks.
And most of all, I REALLY hate the stupid itching!!! AHHH!!! Make it stop!!
I've decided to start this (yet another) blog to document what I'm going through after banding. So... here goes..
I was banded on June 30th overseas. The surgery cost $6,100, and was at the top center in the country, with a doctor who is the feature cosmetic and bariatric surgeon at a makeover show. Two of my cousins are his current patients, and they attest to his work.
After meeting with him, the nutritionist, and the endocronologist last week, we decided to just go ahead with it. I was admitted on 6/30, and discharged the second day. By the second day, I was already up and about, granted with some pain medication, but still. The worst part of the experience was waking up from anesthesia, and choking on (???), and not being able to tell the docs about it. I actually have nightmares like that. So, that was truly agonizing.
The surgeon came to check up on me the next day, and said that in order to save time, he had already put in 3 ccs in mine, and will fill it one more time prior to my departure in three weeks.
I came home the next day, didn't feel like eating much, except for some clear liquids, soup, and custard and jello. The next day, I moved to solider liquids including yogurt, etc. By the fourth day (today), I'm still keeping some of the liquids, but already started with the mushy food. I am not having any trouble with the eating. Since portion control has always been a problem for me, and I'm seriously dreading PB'ing, I'm eating very slowly and chewing like crazy.
I am eating very small portions, when I get hungry or crave something, I try to eat something healthy that would satisfy the same need (diet chocolate crackers for chocolate), and been drinking lots of water.
So far, I have lost 10 pounds almost effortlessly. It really helps that my mom is near me, and she's watching what I eat too. I seriously don't think I could have done it without her.
I'm worried that I'm not getting enough nutrition, but I'm feeling full most of the time, my hunger pangs are at a minimum, and I feel no discomfort, or low energy. I'm taking my vitamins, and I'm having plenty of protein.
The port pain is the only one that hurts right now.
Next week, I go back for my first follow-up with the entire team. We'll see how that goes.
But, right now, I'm enjoying the weight loss, and I keep expecting the other shoe to drop. I hope it never does.
