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Food fantasies

I like food,no scratch that. I LOVE FOOD. Im IN LOVE WITH FOOD. It has never let me down or stood me up. Food has loved me for who I am. However it has smothered me with it's sweet,salty, warm, golden goodness.   So when I was banded on June 23rd,2008. I decided that FOOD and i had to take a break...you go your way FOOD and I will go my way. I told FOOD that I had to find out who I was on my own terms.   So here I am 9 months later, and 51-60 lbs lighter pending on the week).   And you know what? I miss you FOOD, but I miss your friendship and history. I do not miss your all encompassing influence. That was not a healthy love affair. Although we may once in awhile CHEAT with one another FOOD. I have to let you know we wont ever be like we were again.   I started a relationship with someone else and his name is THE BAND

Illiana

Illiana

 

Go kick some rocks.

Grr.. GRRRR! Ok... i had to get that out! My father a Mexican Archie Bunker.. Is a unpleasant man. In looking back to my childhood to now... I realized.. He is part of the reason why I ate so much. He is a mean,negative,self centered, vain man. And guess what...thats his bag of problems and not mine!   He constantly picks on me,berates me,puts me down.. (imagine your nickname being "heavy" for 32 yrs?..yea not fun)   I was banded on June 23rd..I am down 21 lbs since surgery..I am eating way under 1200 cals a day.   However when I sat down to eat some lunch ...3 forkfuls of salmon and a baked potato. My father told me I was "stuffing my face"..and "why bother getting banded if you are going to eat whatever anyways"   Well I am SICK OF IT. He has not supported me AT ALL. Only my poor mother. Jesus my poor mother...she must have hit her head the day she decided to marry him...or been drugged....   I have tried to talk to him about the bandster life..but he just keeps talking over me making fun of me.. Im 32 yrs old..and this mean prick is 62 yrs old.   I can love my father..does not mean I have to like him.   I decided I will NEVER share this part of my life with him again. This includes not eating in front of him and never breaking bread with him ever again.   I refuse to feel upset, funny, because I sit here and cry while I write all of this . Im STRONG. Stronger than him.. because he could never do what I do.   Next year I am going to be in Onederland...   And where is he going to be?...   Yep folks thats right.. OLD.:shades_smile:

Illiana

Illiana

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