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About this blog

:cool2: Okay, I just did it. I just completed my online loan application for my surgery. I expect all to go well, but.....you just never know. A few years ago we were trying to get a home building loan and we were turned down. Credit scores in the 80

Entries in this blog

 

Surgery cancelled as I lay on the bed!

I'm pretty bummed right now. :thumbup:   I went in for my surgery today and I was told my doctor was running an hour late (it ended up being closer to TWO hours late)and during the wait I was talking to anesthesiologist and I mentioned how I had to be intibated while still away for my last surgery. He seemed surprised but nothing too bad. My IV's were in place, I'd been given the shot in my belly for blood clots and the anethesiolgist gave me one to "dry up mucus"...I'm still feeling that one.   I guess the intibation thing was a big deal because before it was all over with I was give a choice by the doctors...either have it done at the surgery center and take a risk of something going wrong and then have to pay for the ambulance ride PLUS hospital expenses out of pocket (I'm self pay) OR wait and reschedule for a hosiptal surgery where they will have the special equipment but it will costs about $1,500 more.   What was I to do ? I knew that to cover his butt the anesthesiologist was going to have me transported to check for swelling or tears in my throat and I can't afford that.   As we left the two doctors came running out after us and said they had set my surgery for Wednesday at noon.   Now...my husband is telling me we just need to wait a year because maybe insurance will cover it. Not MY insurance, I've been told that. I've told HIM that. So now not only am I dealing with the surgery being cancelled as I'm about to be wheeled in, but now my husband is acting like he's mad at ME and now he doesn't want me to have it.   No one can go through this surgery without the support of a loved one. Now I don't have that so I probably will not have the surgery.   All I can do is cry.:crying:
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Still in a holding pattern

Nothing at work is resolved yet. My Union Rep says not to worry and he thinks it will all be dropped or at the very worse we’ll win at appeal….hopefully it won’t come to that. I can’t wait until this is all behind me and I can finally schedule my surgery consult. And I HATE all of my frigging depressing blogs !!! ARRGH!
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Got the $$ sitting in the bank...and work stress

Now I'm just waiting for the call for the surgeon consultation.:thumbup:   I am scared of surgery too. But I did have an abdominal hysterectomy. I doubt if the pain for lapband would be worse than that and that wasn't horrible. People don't think of hysterectomy's as amputations, but that's what it was...   I'm feeling sad. I haven't been having a good time at work lately (17 years). A full month ago I get a call from a supervisor who said this other person told him I said he "goes both ways". I hardly know this guy and when he confronted me about it (over the phone) I told him I didn't say it and I had no idea what he was talking about. The whole thing was investigated by my supervisor who said he could find nothing I did wrong. THEN...my supervisor's supervisor gets involved and does a whole other investigation. This time he wants to know "did you hang up on him while he was still talking" No. "Did you slam the phone down?" No. "Okay, send it to me in writing that you did not yell and you did not slam the phone down..." Did I mention that there was a witness to my side of the conversation who has backed everything I said? Not good enough. Even our supervisor's, supervisor's, supervisor's secretary heard it all and has said I was not rude to the guy. It's all pathetic and just stressing me out to the max. As stupid as this all sounds, I work for a law enforcement agency...It's all so f'ing childish. Your hard earned tax dollars at work, you know ? :thumbs_up:   Why don't they believe me, you ask???? Because don't you know there is just no way that the little size 6, double D, fake boob Be'och who started all of this, could be lying, right ??? It truly makes me feel sick to my stomach. :mad2:   I've had to get my Union involved (but TX is a weak union state) and tomorrow we have a meeting to "discuss the findings". I swear, if they would spend this much time investigating actual criminal cases, there would be a lot less crime in the County.   The saying, "No good deed goes unpunished" really fits this scenario....because a little over a month ago I was giving the "both ways" supervisor compliments to a group of people about his training ability...see where that got me!
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Egads! They want to operate on June 2nd ?

Wow, talk about FAST! I was expecting to have surgery the mid/end June, not the first Monday in June. Hmm...I don't have my psycho eval until June 4th, so wonder how that works? Will they do it after ???   All of my appointments are all lined up over the next couple of weeks with my physcial scheduled for Friday. I guess that's enough time for the blood work to come back.   STILL no final freaking outcome to my job issue...more than two months now....I wish ED on them all. :thumbup:   Okay, tomorrow I start the low carb diet on my own. I have fatty infiltration of the liver and I had better start now before my nutrition consultation.   It looks like I'm gonna be a June Bandster !!!
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Work thing STILL not resolved...

Dear Blog-Monstah...   Thursday is a meeting with our supervisors to determine if they are going to send the recommendation (of one of the supervisors) up the chain to have me fired. It's unbelieveable. If I had actually done something to warrant being fired, okay, but I just don't understand this...   I've waited years to have WLS and now I have the money in the bank just taunting me! Oh, and we received the payment book from the bank too, so the first payment is due in a month IF we haven't given the money back by then....   It will get better, I have faith. I have to assume that God just didn't think the timing was right for surgery and for some reason I needed to wait a bit more....I just pray that God also remembers I need my job ! Amen !
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Date is set...

:scared2:Dear Blog MonSTAH...   I am scared or worried or anxious or ALL of them. But never ever before have I wanted to look into a crystal ball and find out what my future brings more than I do right now.   June 2nd could be the greatest or the worst day of my life. I keep pumping myself up and telling myself if I don't do this where will I be a year from now? Fatter. I know that. If not fatter, then struggling to keep my weight "down" to 285...not quite bikini weight, is it ?   Today I had my blood tests and my psych eval. Tuesday I have my exercise consult and then Thursday is my nutrition consult (although I thought I was supposed to have the nutrition consult at least two weeks before...hmmm).   I am on day five of a self-imposed low carb diet. I've been keeping my "net" carbs around 50, logging my foods on fitday.com and trying to keep my fat below 30%.   ...regarding my work issues...they are now trying to give me TWO days off with no pay. So I have gone from being fired, to five days no pay, to no action taken to two days no pay....can someone pls make up your mind ? :cursing:
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One week to go!

The holiday was a little tough. We went to a friends party and there wasn't much for me to eat on the lc phase. We had taken some fried chicken and I pulled the crust and skin off and ate that. I DID have a small piece of cheesecake; no crust or topping. Considering I didn't eat a whole lot yesterday, I think I'm fine.   Today I think I had even fewer carbs I need to check fitday.   AND...I rode my stationary bike for 30 minutes. Something I hope to start doing every day.   Tomorrow...another day, another dollah.:cursing:
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Imredy

Nope, not a misspelling. It was a message.   While driving to my exercise consultation I was still mulling over in my head the decision to get the band. I am self pay and we had to take a loan out to cover the $16K surgery. The little bit of savings that we were putting away is going to have to be used to make the loan payments for the next five years. That brings a lot of guilt. BUT on the other hand if my husband needed this surgery I would not hesitate to spend the money. So, you get the idea of the war going on inside of my head. As I’m driving a white car cuts in front of me at a red light. No big deal. Then the license plate caught my eye….IMREDY….! Instantly I knew that message was for me. I am ready. I am ready to be more active with my husband. I am ready to do yard work and not have to sit on the ground to pull weeds. I am ready to be able to put my shoes on without sitting on the bed and pulling one leg up at a time. I am ready to see body parts that have been hidden by other fat body parts. I am ready to look good (ahem…BETTER) in a pair of tight jeans again. I am ready to begin my new life. ….and that life begins on June 2nd.
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Maybe my Tide is Turning ???

I decided I wouldn't write again until I had something GOOD to write. Now I do... After all of the drama with my work the recommendation is now instead of firing me that they will "give" me 40 hours suspension w/o pay and I have to take a counseling class on "inter-personal office relationships". Whatever. I put in an application for another job today. :svengo: I'll keep "yes sir, no sir, whatever you say sir" until I can get out of there. Who needs that in their life, right? Everything still needs to be blessed by two more Admin Staff and who knows, they could go back for the termination. On even better news, I made another appt for my surgeon consult. It's on May 13. I think with any luck I'll get the 40 hr suspension just in time for my surgery ! Gotta make it work for me some how. To prepare for surgery I'm going to start a modified low carb diet this weekend and I'm going to start getting in more aerobic activity, too. My blood pressure was great when I went to the doctor this week, 112/60. Two weeks before surgery the surgeon requests a low carb diet, so I might as well start now. Afterall, this weight won't be coming back ! OH! I forgot to mention that last week I was bitten by a Brown Recluse spider. Little Insidious Bastard. :crying: He bit me on the upper/inside calf. I didn't even feel it. My advice to anyone who thinks they have a spider bite is to get to the doctor within 24 hours for antibiotic. My bite did not turn ugly though it did get a really red oval several inches around the center. The center was hard, and I could see the fang marks but now it's only slightly red and the center is peeling. No dead tissue. :thumbup:
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Wooooooohooooooo!!!!!!

:thumbup: Our loan was approved for the surgery !!   Thank you God !!   After making my online loan application yesterday I checked my email after my blog...the email said they were unable to approve the loan. crap. After a good, silent cry I started thinking....you know, anything could have gone wrong with that stupid online form....so today I called the bank and spoke an actual HUMAN! After a few minutes the loan officer said we had been approved, for even more than we had asked for ! YES !!!   Whew! First hurdle - JUMPED!   I'm gonna party, like it's my birthday...!
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I've had a Great Day !

You know, it's been a wonderful day.   Last week I found out from one of the "higher ups" that they were dropping all allegations against me at work! Thank God for witnesses!!   While I am truly grateful for my job, I am still a bit pissed off that it went this far. One more meeting on Thursday and it should officially be over. Seventeen years, with 13 of it being at the same position and they treated me like dog doo.   The best news is I also had my surgeon consultation today and it went great! After having to cancel my appt last month, I was happy to find out that as of yesterday, my surgeon of choice, Dr. Faulkenbery of Southwest Bariatrics, now uses the Realize Band which is what I wanted! He seemed to like their support site very much.   Tomorrow I make appts for the blood work/EKG, the psych appt., the exercise appt and then the nutritional counseling. I am hoping to have it all done by the end of the month so I can have the surgery by the middle of June.   And if my day couldn't get better...I didn't even get charged in the parking garage ! :thumbup:
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Good News...Bad News...

:thumbup:Good news: I got my call from the surgeon for our first visit set for April 22.   :thumbdown:Bad news: I'm being recommended for termination at work and I had to cancel the appt !!   SEVENTEEN YEARS of my life, 6 1/2 years from retirement and this is how it's going to end ?????? Are you kidding me?????   My salary is half of our income w/o it I lose more than just my ability to have surgery, WE lose the house we built five years ago on the property we've lived on for 25 years, my 13 year old blind/deaf dog could not adjust to another home and we would probably have to end up putting her to sleep, not to mention my 33 year old horse...I know, waaah, poor me.   Nothing is a done deal at this point but the recommendation has been submitted.   I'm not one to yell discrimation at the drop of a hat, but I tell you, its happening. There are three of us women at work, I'm the "bad" one in this. The other two women are witnesses, all of us between ages 45-51 and our supervisor's supervisor is going to believe "one of the guys" over the THREE of us ??? What ? Does anyone have Gloria Allred's number ?? Really...   I'm not looking for sympathy. I'm looking for justice (which is funny since I work for a law enforcement agency).   I'm going to go cry in my water now and day dream about the big bulbous bald head of my supervisor's supervisor being squished in a waffle maker. And they always stick, too !
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