Well, my name is Meggie. Im 21 years old, and I recently was banded on DEcember 10, 2007.
My story isnt exceptional or sad, maybe it isnt even worthy, but its mine,and I have had quite a journey becoming the young woman I am today. I have had a weight problem since I was a child. My mom worked fulltime so frozen pizzas and processed french fries became a hot meal for me. I was very picky, and that was easy for her and tasteful to me. I grew up with the occasional teasing but nothing out of the ordinary. I always felt out of place;even with family. I was always the "fat" kid in my eyes. My family never saw me as that simply because they saw beyond my weight. They saw what I call the "internal me"--which is in fact a totally different person.-I was never pressured to lose weight or compared to my "model material" kid sister, and in fact, I have been my own worst critic all along. When I got to the seventh grade I decided to take control the only way I knew how; I became bulimic. Typically, bulimics are rail thin and look malnourished-but I never hit that point. The disease never got out of control-well I mean the idea is out of hand enough in itself-but it never got excessive.It was my last resort when food got the best of me.My mother sent me to counseling and there I was, 13 years old with "control" issues as the doctor would call them. I was always told how beautiful I was, and in fact, I was the popular kid in school; neverhteless, I still didnt like me. I went all through highschool with my weight issue and in my senior year my dream came true- I needed my tonsils out. I know, I know-silly dream huh? But, to me it was so much more than a painful surgery. It was a period of 2 weeks that I would lose weight. I did ofcourse-18 lbs to be exact, but it all came back on within a year. So, there I was 18- still struggling every day of my life with my worst enemy-my weight. I dropped some weight at almost 19 because I was going through a break up, and my "control issues" caught up with me yet again. That weight didnt stay off either. As you can see, I never succeeded in keeping it off. It haunted me and creeped up just when I thought I was winning. When I was 19 my 45 yr old father died of massive heartattack while watching the superbowl. A part of me slowly died that day simply because he was ultimately my biggest fan. I dont think my daddy ever saw my size. He didnt care-I was his baby girl no matter what anyone thought. He was the dad that yelled at other small-and I mean young and innocent--kids if they called me names. I wasnt fat, he said and he belived that. Its as if he saw my soul, and not the horrific body that held me hostage. I love him for that and I find myself still trying to see what he always did....Anyways so here I was almost 20 years old. I lost a few lbs after Daddy died because of a loss of appetite, but still nothing to brag about. In November of 2006 I found out I was pregnant. Ive never felt so overwhelmed in my life. While ofcourse I was scared and anxious to meet my beautiful baby boy, the sick part of me thought "hOw will I possibly deal with this weight gain." I know-that should have been the last thing I thought of, but I couldnt help it. The whole 40 weeks I ate like I was on a diet, with the occasional splurge of McDonalds, but for the most part I monitored. Thats insaine isnt it? Who wants to be pregnant and on a diet? The two words dont belong together. Well, needless to say thank god that I monitored considering that I still gained 60 pounds! After the baby I struggled with some deep depression about my weight. I was always crying, and it was the number one focus in my life aside from motherhood. I remember actually thinking" if I have to live like this, I dont want to live." Scary thought, I know-but it was real. In the meantime I had consulted with a plastic surgeon to give me a breast lift. I guess I was looking for anything on my body that I had the power to change when really I just wanted to be thin. I even cut 12 inches off of my hair thinking I was going to have a "new" me. Little did I know, I was far from being new and I was still overweight. By this point I was tired of fighting this battle. I couldnt win alone and that was definitly apparent to myself as well as my close family. So, on the day I was going to schedule my breast lift, I made a call to find out if I qualified for the lapband....well indeed I did-by the skin of my teeth, but it didnt matter. That day I think I found a hopeful part of me that I never knew existed. I connected with the little girl in me and let her know that we were finally going to be alright. I met with Dr Fritz Rau only a week later and immediatly felt a sense of protection and peace. He was wonderful, and assured me that I was in good hands. I soon went on my 2 week liquid diet and did very well. My mother wasnt completly supportive in the beginning but she knew that with or without an army of support, I was going to be banded on Dec 10, 2007. She came through for me, ofcourse, she always did. I got there early that morning and was prepped in no time. After a long wait of about 3 hours-it was my turn. Finally, the moment I had awaited since I was that little girl was actually happening. I almost couldnt bare all of the emotions because for the first time in my life, I felt like the real me was going to have a chance at shining. I came out only 35 minutes later, and everything had went fine. I had alot of pain from the trapped air, but otherwise I was okay. I was already a new woman mentally. I went home the next day, and within a week was taking care of my son. I have had 3 fills so far and am down 25 pounds. My loss has been gradual, but thats okay now because I know it will melt off soon. So, as you can see, I have had an interesting travel to get to where I am today, and to Dr Fritz I owe my happiness. The man has changed my life, and because of him I will be the girl that I was destined to be. Nothing, not even weight, can hold me back now.
God Bless all of you- may you all find that inner self who screams to be heard.
