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Confessions I must make - don't read if you are going to give me heck please :)

So, I had quit smoking before my surgery and was very proud of that, however, I did start smoking and have been for the past 6 months.   Now I have smoked since I was a teen - eek! I know and I hate it, I have quit so many times but then something happend....   my husband and I quit New Years day together at 8 pm and this is the longest I have gone without actually feeling like I wanted to start up again.   This is huge because while before I had quit for long periods of time I would obsess about smoking them but now for whatever reason I just feel different.   Of course I have also become anal retentive about exercising and have started the couch to 5k program I saw posted, so that motivation has helped me immensely   Also, for the simple fact I had this surgery to be healthier I just finally think after 6 months of having this band in me it is time to get my ass in gear and take better care of myself...   so I am not proud at all that I began smoking again after surgery but you know what? I am human, I make mistakes and if any one has a negative comment to make about this I suppose they ought to check their own inventory before picking at mine :confused:
babbs3772

babbs3772

4
 

Never regret your band....

I was reading some posts (ok a crap load) of people saying they don't want their band anymore, they feel it isn't "working"...   Thankfully I then saw responses from others...are they journaling all of their food? That is so key!   Even if you are a slower loser than the fast one you should still be counting calories, listening to your pouch, stop eating because you can etc.   It really does come down to the adage my surgeon touted...10% Band and 90% you
babbs3772

babbs3772

2
 

I will be daring and be totally honest with all of you...

I am scared some days, I am scare of who I am, who I am becoming...   the weight comes off and people are noticing lol, the one thing I want is happening and yet I am scared... people notice me.   Simple as that, they have looked at me, they have said that I look really good, that they can tell how much weight I have...   I am scared. I do not know this person, I am not fantastic looking but still 40 lbs down from where I started is good I know - this person - who is she? Does she wear the tighter sweater? Her husband has a gleam in his eye? Her friend is so happy for her? Who is she?   So under this fat, under this layer of protection I have built for myself, to protect myself... I am here! Yes, it is me! I am still the same, maybe I look different - I know and I want, but I am me, I love, I hurt, I cry and I celebrate my losses and gains with you...   I am torn between wanting to show myself, come out of my physical shell and wanting to hide because it is what I have done for so long.   I am being, I am me...
babbs3772

babbs3772

1
 

Bloggity blog blog

Howdy, I am doing pretty darn good if I say so myself. I am at what my surgeon calls my "sweet spot" !!!:eek:   This is pretty huge to me and to anyone else who has the band and gets to this point - I didn't really understand when I heard others talk about their "sweet spot" but now I truly get it.   I am doing extremely well with foods and I am figuring out on a daily basis what works best for me nutrition and hunger wise. I have made a few small tweaks as to what keeps me satiated and I am finding out what makes my mind feel satisfied as well.   I can't believe how I not only quit smoking for the past 3 weeks but I am really happy that I did. I am so much healthier feeling.   So over all things are good, I am starting yet another college semester this Monday, two classes this semester and I work full time as well for those who didn't know. :thumbup:   I am going to have to work out my time better so I can work, take care of school, take care of myself and still exercise. It will be challenging but I can do it.   OK, enough for now, it is time for me to peruse this site and see what I can see to inspire me :thumbup::thumbup:
babbs3772

babbs3772

4
 

Bloggity blog blog

Howdy, I am doing pretty darn good if I say so myself. I am at what my surgeon calls my "sweet spot" !!!:thumbup:   This is pretty huge to me and to anyone else who has the band and gets to this point - I didn't really understand when I heard others talk about their "sweet spot" but now I truly get it.   I am doing extremely well with foods and I am figuring out on a daily basis what works best for me nutrition and hunger wise. I have made a few small tweaks as to what keeps me satiated and I am finding out what makes my mind feel satisfied as well.   I can't believe how I not only quit smoking for the past 3 weeks but I am really happy that I did. I am so much healthier feeling these days and I am thankful I didn't quit because I found out I had lung cancer.   So over all things are good, I am starting yet another college semester this Monday, two classes this semester and I work full time as well for those who didn't know.   I am going to have to work out my time better so I can work, take care of school, take care of myself and still exercise. It will be challenging but I can do it.   OK, enough for now, it is time for me to peruse this site and see what I can see to inspire me :cursing::tt1:
babbs3772

babbs3772

1
 

Sunday and the livin' is... well.... hungry?

Ok so the livin' should be easy right? According to that song that starts that way....   instead I am hungry lol and having moment where I am afraid to eat because I am so hungry I think I might eat too much?   Does this make sense? When you let yourself go a little too long without food you worry you will I eat too much?   I hate that feeling of "stuck-ness" more than I hate the feeling of hunger these days. - which I only have when I am not taken good care of myself - which is this past week - I have a cold like you read about and I am still dealing with this stupid ovarian cyst.   So, any who what I think I should do is relax, go make a nice egg white omelet with some protein and just relax a bit more.
babbs3772

babbs3772

2
 

I cried last night

So, first of all I have today off from work just in case any one reads this and thinks I am slacking lol - I love this site!   So without sounding all dramatic and silly I wanted to say that last night I had a unnerving emotion run through me.   I had purchased "Weight loss surgery for Dummies" before I had my surgery and last night I pulled it out to review it again - and in the middle of reading it I remembered back to when I was reading it the first time....   I was curled up in bed for the evening and had a low light on, I was so anxious to have my surgery and I was trying to learn everything I could, I was fighting with my insurance company to get it covered, worrying if I would lose enough weight before hand....it goes on and one those worries I had   And then last night it hit me, it is done, I had the surgery, the insurance did cover it.... I have a band in me!   I cried, I sat there with my book in bed like I had done many months before and I cried
babbs3772

babbs3772

2
 

A little snarky but at least it is in my blog and not on the forum...

so... this will be a little snarky sounding but... why is it that some people who do not have the band seem to think they have it all figured out?   They will do it right, they will not make mistakes, they will always follow to rules - what bullsh*t honestly.   I hate to break it to them but it doesn't exactly work like that LOL, I thought I too would be anal retentive and do everything right, however, as we know it doesn't necessarily always go as planned...   I am not saying this is all people but I have noticed a couple who made comments about banded people who "weren't doing it right, weren't following instructions as they were told and when they were banded they would always follow the rules"   sigh....I am sorry if I sound b*tchy, I figure it is my blog and I can express myself here without going to the forums and hurting someones feelings inadvertently...   Ok, I am going to curl up in bed as I have been feeling a little icky this past week or so and I am not doing myself any good being on the forum feeling this :thumbdown:
babbs3772

babbs3772

3
 

Lost some poundage- bittersweet...

Ah yes sweet success, I lost 5 pounds in the past week and a half lol, so after being stagnant for what seemed forever I finally am moving....   but then again although this is freakin' sweet what really is striking me funny is that no matter how much I lose- there I am...   (there is a book I have that is called "no matter where you go there you are" - highly recommend reading it folks)   and essentially, no matter how much I change on the outside I am still me, loving, courageous, passionate, true to myself, loyal to those who deserve it...   this is me, I am me through all my stupid mistakes, for all my failures and all my successes, I am not perfect, I am certainly not any better than those around me...   I am humbled with each pound I lose, because it means I am losing a little bit more of the cushion, protection and such that I built around my body and I better learn to really like myself because soon that is all there is going to be...
babbs3772

babbs3772

3
 

You are a mean one Mrs. Grinch.... You know who you are!

Disclaimer... its my blog, it isn't alway nice and some times I get cranky lol   I will not name names, I will not be specific but there is a person who I came across today who is not only nasty and mean but clearly uneducated in regards to the lap band.   How dare you criticize others? Where do you get off telling others what they should do? You are not perfect or otherwise would you be here with the rest of us? Would you have a weight problem? Hell no, your fat ass is here with us - get use to it.   Plenty of us do the best we can and this site is a god send for us and if you cannot find the good in it get off the forum and don't let the door hit you in the ass.   Thank you and I feel better now
babbs3772

babbs3772

2
 

Just want to talk...

Hi Mr. Blog -   I am tired but unable to sleep, drugged up from the meds, my lower pelvic area is still painful from the ovarian cyst - the doctor says "lets wait and see"   The last time we waited to see I ended up having emergency surgery.   I mean honestly - I got to see the internal ultra sound (twice, once at E.R. and once at surgeons office) and there is a bit of blood leaking, but that stupid cyst just isn't big enough yet to worry about...   now I know these guys can seal back up and your body will eventually reabsorb them, but then again what if I have what happened before happen again?   Ok, done whining - I guess, it just isn't like me to be whine like this lol, I think the combination of pain killers and the extra hormones from the cyst (it is pushing lots of those out right now) is really affecting my well being
babbs3772

babbs3772

2
 

1 pound at a time

Well, my first blog here at lapbandtalk.com and I feel nervous - I mean what if someone actually reads this?   I named it "1 pound at a time" because I have to start remembering that just like the Alcoholic Anonymous saying " one day at a time" it really is one pound at a time.   I cannot keep looking so far ahead a that I lose sight of the here and now, the little triumphs and the little victories.   So today was that little victory, I lost one pound - and I am fine with this as I haven't lost for a month - now I am proud to say I am 193.5! My goal this month is to hit 190 and I believe not only will I do it but I will exceed....   but again, one pound at a time... stop looking so far ahead that you set yourself up, that you become lax in your food and your exercise...   these are the things I need to remember.
babbs3772

babbs3772

4
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