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you need to quit stuffing yourself...

My hubby said this the other night when I decided to eat some popcorn and a handful of grapes before I went to bed. I had gotten hungry, so instead of making myself a meal or eating cookies out of the cookie jar, I made this particular food choice. He must have thought that I had fallen off the weight wagon because he hasn't been seeing me eat like that since before the band. My goodness, those words sure did hurt. All the sudden, I was fat again. In my mind, for a millisecond, I was that insecure fat woman who had food as my feel-good friend. Thanks hubby. You just pushed me to try even harder to prove that I can do this.
bullpen87

bullpen87

1
 

When you can feel good about yourself anymore..

The only time that you would feel "good" is when you were asleep. When I went to bed in the past, I thought about how big I was. When I awoke, I instantly thought, I'm still fat. If wishing could melt pounds, I wouldn't be in lapband talk today. It has been a slow process since November but I am very slowly seeing results. I'm grateful for every pound lost. I woke up this morning and told myself, "you are smaller than you were". I guess being awake isn't so bad after all.:biggrin::cool2::sleep:
bullpen87

bullpen87

2
 

the band..one yr later

I wish I could say that I am losing at a comfortable pace...nope..gained 6 pounds in the last six months. I wish I could say that I'm not as hungry as before..nope..I could eat the north end of a southbound mule some days, but most days, I don't. I have never had a love or addiction to food..most all of my weight has come from steriodal and antidepressants over 15 yrs. Do I make poor food choices? Of course, at times. I'm not sorry that I have the band, just dissapointed that I haven't had the success that others have had. I'll continue to get fills, speak truthfully to my doc and pray for the best in 2009.
bullpen87

bullpen87

2
 

port revision!

Last two visits to the fill doc didn't go so well. Needle couldn't go into the port...wrong position. It figures. My luck. I asked doc how often this happens. He tells me he has done hundreds of band surgeries and that I am the third to need a port fixed. It figures. My luck. Doc's office contacts insurance as necessary to see if they will pay for procedure. I'm STILL waiting. It figures. My luck. Do I sound a bit down? Perhaps so. I'm about to come up on my year anniversary with the band (Nov 07) and expected myself perhaps to be finishing up my last ten pounds. Instaead, I'm halfway. SO NOT FAIR..It figures. MY luck.
bullpen87

bullpen87

2
 

port revised!

I had my port moved into a better place..sliding up under my ribs wasn't a good place for it at all. To me, it feels like it was back in the place where it originally was in Nov 2007. Just hope it stays in place. Truthfully, this surgery hurts almost as bad (almost) as getting banded. Doc gave me a fill too. I hope this fill works. It has been six months since I have lost any weight. Well, it's been 24 hrs since I came home from the hospital and so far, I feel sore. Very sore. I'll get through this. Tommorrow's another day....:eek:
bullpen87

bullpen87

1
 

Last blog perhaps...?

What in the world am I doing continuing this lap band blog without my lap band? I suppose my main purpose is to give everyone insight on my journey. I still can't positively answer the question of whether my band has been worth the weight loss. I can say it made a difference in the amount that I was eating at one time. Although some cheat with the band, I rarely did. My progress has been all me. And a little help from the band. Most of my journey was slow and dull except for the last 3 weeks of my lap band's stay. I was so nauseous and dry heaves were painful for days and days. After a week in the hospital, band gone and no more sickness. What a way to end a journey. I pray all of you much success. I pray for me continued weight contentment.
bullpen87

bullpen87

4
 

It's up to me now...

March 27, 2008. I got bad news. The rest is up to me. Totally me. Doc feels like the band has helped me lose any "excess" and the rest of my weight will be lost by sheer determination. The band will help me stay on track but I am going to have to exercise harder, walk farther, eat healthier and make good choices from now on. I have a feeling this isn't going to be easy. I've not giving up yet. I've gotten this 30 pds off of me and I want another 30 gone as well. I shall fight this battle just as all other banders do..one day at a time.
bullpen87

bullpen87

2
 

I saw my fat picture!

It never occured to me that I had changed that much. But I had. I saw a picture of me at Christmas, a month after my band surgery..I was so swelled up! I can't believe that I hadn't noticed it as time has went by. But you know what? It sure was a pleasant surprise. I don't think I'll be hiding so much from the camera anymore.
bullpen87

bullpen87

2
 

finally..a little progress!

Got another fill Feb. 23 2009. I can finally say that the hunger pains haven't started back since the fill. I also lost 7 pounds in 3 mths. I've lost 43 pds with 35 to go. My body gives a whole new meaning to lose the weight slowly. Got banded 1 yr 3 mths ago, but that's ok. Things are looking up..thank goodness...I was getting awfully discouraged. Good luck everyone who reads this..I know what you are going through.
bullpen87

bullpen87

5
 

egd 2 yrs after lap band

Doctor ordered a barium swallow after I had shared some of the unusual symptoms I have just started having. The swallow test showed that my food was slowing down(and drink) before it even reached the band. EGD showed that I was having esaughagial muscle spasms whenever I ate or drank. He is prescibing a new med to relax that muscle so I can be more comfortable while eating. I have lost 6 pounds in the last 3 months. Slow as it may seem, I'm still satisfied.:thumbup:
bullpen87

bullpen87

1
 

All the sudden..weight loss stops!

I was really loving this band a couple of months ago! It has been six weeks since I have lost any more weight. I have went back on my liquid diet for three days..nothing. I increased my exercise workout..nothing. I changed the foods I was eating( more greens, less meat, more protein shakes)...nothing. My doc told me on my last visit that he doesn't see me losing much more weight with the band and that the rest would be up to me. How can I lose if it just refuses to come off no matter what I do? I need another 40 ponds off...jeepers..I am bummed today...:crying:
bullpen87

bullpen87

2
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