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About this blog

my journey to gorgeous 160lbs again!

Entries in this blog

 

3/27

HAD A GREAT TIME @ AWARDS DINNER NANCY, RALPH, ELAINE (C21) KYLE ! VERY SURPRISED.... BY THE END OF THE EVENING I WAS PULLING UP MY NEW PANTS...LOOSE ALREADY! CAUGHT ARLENE & PATTI WATCHING ME EAT
luvlif

luvlif

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2/14/06 240 my scale 247 on geiss

2.3cc in my band? per Powers... had .3cc + 1.00cc + 1.00cc? I thought I had .5cc more added it should be 1.5 cc/1.8cc whatever! I feel restriction! L:4 tbsp matzo ball soup & 3/4 cup stuffed derma 400cals D:Duh! I can only have liquids to-day.. it's soup to nite fish w spinach & horseradish (per Ms Mel)Joy , Kathy & Powers said I look good. Powers came up to me & shook hands w me. Mel said sometimes the restriction disappears after the 1st couple of weeks. Mel said not to eat if I'm not hungry. She said the Nutri would disagree but I should stick to 800 cals & not eat when not hungry. She said it's because I eat 800 & exercise that I lost 4 lbs she said "If you lose 1 lb a wk..that's 52lbs in a year.. most wt loss patients don't have any parience...they all want to loose it quickly, you have to give it 2 years." I told her "I'm serious about losing the wt this is not a dress rehersal for me... I also know if I eat 1500-1200 as per nutri I'll never lose wt. " Powers had to do my fill Mel couldn't find my port. He loved my saying @ the support group mtg "build a bridge & get over it" Mel said "what did they think they were on the Jerry Springer show?" Mel told me not everyone PBs when I told her it never happened to me. right now I feel restricted. He was v subdued to-day ... I didnt go to mgmnt mtg & it's Valentines day...I pissed @ him & he knows he's wrong, yesterday I asked him wordlessly in his office after sales mtg" So, this is your love for me?" With his eyes he said "ILY"
luvlif

luvlif

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30 min walk in pm

3 John 1:2 Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth.
luvlif

luvlif

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OH POST 2/11

I haven't looked into the mirror for years until recently. I'm down to 132 lbs. and have started looking -- wow, what a difference! I have had blinders on for the past 30 years with myself and everone else. I do notice that I am shyer than I thought I was and am getting a lot of attention that I feel ambivalent about. I sort of still think, "Why didn't these people talk to me before?" I see how other people look, as well as myself. It is still difficult for me to look in the mirror but it's getting easier. One thing that I do notice is how many unhealthy looking people are out there in the world and how very lucky I am to have had this change of lifestyle. This new life is a challenging one -- lots more to do, but lots more energy to do it with. I have gone back to work and exercise every day. I also have a good appetite (can eat anything except chicken) so I have to work out a lot, but I still only eat a small portion (I graze a lot at night but on good foods). I have also taken up knitting. I am a much happier person now and the depression and anxiety I felt before has gone away (hopefully never to return). Keep up the good work -- we'll get used to everything.   I do look in the mirror more now than I ever have in my life. I think because they kept telling me how my tummy would be kissing my knees. Well that didn't happen. It is hard but I think because I have rode this roller coaster so much I keep waiting for the fall. Like I have done so many times I can't even count them. I have to now make my self stop eating because I catch my self I can take another bite. I asked why are you trying to stretch your pouch???? I need to go back to fixing smaller plates if I want to stay this way. I look in the mirror and I don't see me
luvlif

luvlif

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7/26 212.8LBS V.RESTRICTED!

:clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: MY SIZE 10 OLD NAVY CAPRIS NOW FIT! YES! :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: I FIT A SIZE 12 MAY 27TH I'LL BE A SIZE 8 SEPT 27 I'LL BE A SIZE 6 NOV 29 ! 2 WEEKS BEFORE MY 1 YR ANNIVERSARY:clap2:   YESTERDAY MY BEIGE LIZ CLAIB. SILK JACKET FIT.
luvlif

luvlif

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2/15 240 1ST PB! UGH!

1ST PB! 4X IN A MATTER OF AN HOUR! RESTRICTION IS HERE!:faint: NO MORE CHINESE BUFFET FOR ME...I MEAN IT I JUST CANNOT.   FROM GEISS' MESSAGE BOARD: SOME SUCCEED BECAUSE THEY ARE DESTINED TO MOST SUCCEED BECAUSE THEY ARE DETERMINED TO :eek:   THOSE WHO WANT TO SUCCEED WILL FIND A WAY THOSE WHO DON'T WILL FIND AN EXCUSE.   ONCE YOU DECIDE WHAT YOU WANT, YOU MAKE A COMMITMENT TO THAT DECISION I ATE 500 CALS IN THE WHOLE DAY   WALKED 40 MINS IN AM & 30 IN PM, 2 MILES TOTAL. BURNED 400 CALS. I WAS RESTRICTED!
luvlif

luvlif

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239.5! LETS GO! INTO THE 30'S GOAL 230 BY MAR 1

GOAL 230 BY MAR 1 I NEED TO WALK 2X DAILY I LOOK GOOD! MY HAIR IS POKER STRAIGHT & FULL, I'M WEARING MY TAN TOP W GREY PANTS THAT ARE LOOSE. nsv both pants that Aideen gave me last month that fit are now loose & baggy WALKED 35 MINS IN AM 1.1 MILE BREAKFAST 1/2 C COTTAGE CHEESE 90 & 2 C TEA 1LG C (20 OZ) AT MEETING NOT V RESTRICTED TO DAY LUNCH: 1C TOMATO ROASTED PEPPER SOUP 80 & 1/2 C COTTAGE CHEESE 90 AFTER EATING I FELT RESTRICTED We fought after mtg he said I keep bothering him after he's done that Roger & I stopped him & I pointed a finger @ him. I told him he was splitting hairs & I couldn't believe the President of MLS would act the way he was. (He's pissed @ me because I am so shut down, now he doesn't get any vibe from me... & I look good ... how dare I not give him any good vibes...told me "who the hell are you" & I answered softly,"Right, who the hell am I after 3 years of working to build your company." He bolted to the door, I said "wait don't just run out" "No" he said & he ran out the door. He knew he went too far. RW said to me after, you 2 are funny how you guys banter because I said "whatever" is what teeny boppers say. I called Holb 4 Pattie & she was snotty 2 me... Either he told her to be that way or he was nasty 2 her too.
luvlif

luvlif

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ticker

http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/3;10723;89;0;0/c/-51/t/-110/k/6f2d/weight.png   cheetos 100 yoghurt 140 240 ww 270 510 ww 270 780 cheese its 100 880
luvlif

luvlif

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2/17 237! yay!!!!!!!!!!

OH MY GOD! my scale READ 237 THIS AM! i'M SOOO HAPPY! I DIDN'T WALK LAST NITE...TOO TIRED BUT TODAY I WILL MAKE UP!
luvlif

luvlif

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188.4 12/4

I fit in size 8 pants to-day:clap2:... "If you don't know me by now...you will never,never,never know me" has been playing in my mind to day
luvlif

luvlif

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bette blackwell's # and mine

~~~~~~~~~~~~~WEIGHT.....BMI.....POUNDS LOST lost FIRST APPOINTMENT.....376.......54 1st apt 271 wt lbs total DAY OF SURGERY..........350.......50.2....26day of surg 265 7 1 MONTH.....................330.. ....47.3....46 1 month 247 18= 25 2 MONTHS....................323......46.3....53 2 months 235 12= 37 3 MONTHS....................319......45.7....57 3 mar 225 230 4LBS = 41 4 MONTHS....................296......42.4....80 4 apr215 5 MONTHS....................286......41......90 5 may205 6 MONTHS....................276.....39.6....100 6 jun195 7 MONTHS....................266.....38.1....110 7 jul 180lbs 8 MONTHS....................252..........36.1........124 9 MONTHS....................245..........35.1........131 10 MONTHS..................231...........33.1........145 11 MONTHS..................227...........32.5........149 1 YEAR........................223...........30.9........160 18 MONTHS..................174...........24.9.........202 2 YEARS.......................163..........23.5..........213
luvlif

luvlif

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walking log

sat 8/25 to lincoln sun 8/26 mohawh w barkley, ab lounge 2 sets, pm walk w Kathy mon 8/27 mohawk to hiram to terry w kathy:car: tues 8/28 mohawk w kath hiram terry claas mohawk:clap2:
luvlif

luvlif

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my love

we've hit a rocky spot... to day @ mtg I silently said"this is your love for me?" I know he felt it. I guess he hates when I do that.he was subdued @ mtg...not himself til I silently said "I love you my darling"...then he spoke about Mugsy in Brooklyn w all the small dogs "How did Mugsy react to the small dogs" I said That hit home ...his whole face lit up...he knew & I knew why I was asking that. then he smiled @ me when he said "I redid my bathroom...I went all out" & smiled adorably @ me meaningfully as if to say "I did it for you for when you are w me" Silently I heard "You are my whole life. My life would be over if I did'nt have you." Later I realized he called me "Mrs A"
luvlif

luvlif

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WALK

he called yesterday & to-day from cell I did not ask where he is ...at all...... but to-day I told him I was going to be away Fra & Sat..."alright" he responded ...not happy...almost wondering where I was going...but did not have the guts to ask! Now he knows how I felt!:heh:    
luvlif

luvlif

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2/18 235 yipee

I'M SO HAPPY! :clap2: :eek: :clap2: :clap2: 235! THATS 12LBS IN A MONTH! ON BSCI.COM'S GRAPH, I'M STEADILY SHEDDING WEIGHT. IT SHOWS IN MY ABS & MY FACE. MY UPPER ABS HAVE A LINE RUNNING THRU IT VERTICALLY, AND MY BELLY IS SMALLER & THE BOTTOM HAS A DEFINITE SCOOP TAKEN OUT OF IT. LAST NITE AS I LAY IN BED I FELT THE BURN IN MY THIGHS SO I KNEW THE NEXT DAY I WOULD WEIGH LESS! NOW I WANT TO BE 230 BY WED I KNOW I CAN DO IT WITH THIS RESTRICTION.THIS A.M. I COULDN'T EAT MORE THAN 1/2 C OF COTTAGE CHEESE... HAD TO PUT 1/4 C AWAY...I FELT RESTRICTED! NOW I'M LEARNING TO EAT LESS...1/2C IS ALL I NEED. YESTERDAY I ATE: B:1/2C COTTAGE CHEESE & TEA L: 4PM 1/2C COTT CHEESE, (TRIED TO EAT EGG WHITES BUT COULDN'T STARTED SLIMING, SO I LEFT IT) D: 9PM 3-4 OZ TURBOT & 3 CRACKERS W EGGPLANT DIDN'T WORKOUT TOO DRAINED NAPPED FROM 6PM-9PM DIDN'T SLEEP WELL @ NITE.
luvlif

luvlif

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ONEDERLAND 199.00 ON 9/27/06

TODAY, 10/2 MY NEW BLACK PANTS IN SIZE 10 ARE LOO SER! VICKI TOLD ME SHE WENT FROM A SIZE 16 TO A 4, I WENT FROM 24 TO A 10:scared:
luvlif

luvlif

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GAME PLAN

10/7/06***194 10/14/06***189 10/21/06***184 10/28/06***180
luvlif

luvlif

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dresses

Fri I went to drop off pap work & he saw me in brown tank top w plunging neckline ...I said I had to get back to new recruit (Cute)one)..he called screaming....but 1st tried to controll himself. When I called Sat he was gentle when I said"still mad @ me?":whoo: Mon he was v subdued @ mtg til I started gazing @ his mouth, ear lobe, eyes,& finally...nipple....then moved from behind the chair so I could gaze @ his fav spot!...called back & fourth sev times bec he was turned on!
luvlif

luvlif

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bette blackwell

Bette Blackwell when someone told her she could never have been fat. My first thought was, "Why on earth would anyone CLAIM to be that pretty unhappy, unhealthy, severely obese person if they weren't?" Then I realized that hey - when I look at some of the most recent photos, sometimes *I* don't recognize the "new me" as me.   I told the group that there I times when I FORGET that I'm not in the body of the person I was in almost 2 years ago. That I was standing in line waiting for a stall in the ladies' room last week, looked in the mirror and thought, "WHOA! That's ME!" That I honestly forget sometimes, when I'm not looking in the mirror, that the fat lady, on the outside, anyway, is gone. There's this still-strange-to-me skinny lady, with new-found cheekbones, collarbones and shoulder blades, and thin, almost dainty wrists, living here now.   It's not easy, though. The fat girl still lives here, and she fights with the skinny girl every day. She wants to eat when she's bored, tired, angry, lonely, sad, happy . . . hell, even horny sometimes. I've said it before and I'll say it again: this isn't easy. It's a constant battle between the two of them. Most days, skinny girl wins, but not always. Those moments of defeat are the moments when I find myself looking into my reflection in the water in the loo once again. The flesh may be weak, but the spirit is always unbroken, and I'll get back up and fight again.   Jeez. This is getting far too deep and philosophical for me. It's time for a long bubble bath and then, bedtime.
luvlif

luvlif

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6/27 size 12 are loose!

The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall. -Nelson Mandela-   No man ever achieved worthwhile success who did not, at one time or other, find himself with at least one foot hanging well over the brink of failure. -Napoleon Hill-
luvlif

luvlif

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2/19 235LBS

WALKED 50MINS LAST NITE 1.550 MILES, & 290 CALS BURNT, ATE 575 CALS. I HAVE TO BE DISCIPLINED W MY EATING... EGG WHITES, COTTAGE CHEESE, & FISH ONLY! I MUST WORK WITH THE BAND IT'S A TOOL LIKE THE VACCUM CLEANER, YOU GOTTA USE IT. NOW I MUST MEASURE EVERYTHING THAT I EAT. MY LEGS GOT SLIMMER...MY TROUSERS ARE VERY LOOSE. WENT TO TARGET & BOUGHT REAL MISSES SIZE 18 PANTS IN BLACK & BROWN THE BLACK FIT BEAUTIFULLY...I LOOK THINNER!
luvlif

luvlif

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230

230LBS BY WEDNESDAY!Who are you under the excess weight? You are your best possible you, that's who! After you have had your band for a while and learned to work it well, food will become - just food - and you'll be able to get on with your life. It is a process however and it takes time and work.
luvlif

luvlif

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4/1 227 1/2!

:girl_hug: :clap2: :D 227.5! :D :clap2: ONWARD!:clap2: :D :clap2: I'M SOOO HAPPY! WENT TO GEISS YESTERDAY 238 ON HIS SCALE.247 ON HIS SCALE 2/14/06 OH WELL, I'M HAPPY HAD A SMALL ADJUSTMENT... AGAIN MEL COULDN'T GET TO IT,POWERS & KAREN CAME IN & IT TOOK POWERS A WHILE TO ACCESS IT TOO! I TOLD THEM TO JUST GIVE ME .01CC. WENT TO VICTORIA SECRETS & BOUGHT A NEW BEAUTIFUL BRA & IT FITS GREAT!   ONWARD! THE BEST IS YET TO COME! I WANT TO LIVE MORE ABUNDANTLY I'M WEARING ALL NEW CLOTHES... NEW SUITS, JACKETS, PANTS & SHIRTS! YIPEE! (& BRAS & UNDERWEAR TOO!) HAD MY HAIR COLORED BUT DARKER DON'T KNOW STILL IF I LIKE IT. MET JANE FRIED @ CHINESE BUFFET, SHE LOOKS GOOD...HAD HER NECK, ARMS & TUMMY TUCK $18K SHE DIDN'T RECOGNIZE ME @ FIRST! NEITHER DID MATT'S WIFE (FAI'S FRIEND)
luvlif

luvlif

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