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About this blog

my journey to gorgeous 160lbs again!

Entries in this blog

 

4/1 227 1/2!

:girl_hug: :clap2: :D 227.5! :D :clap2: ONWARD!:clap2: :D :clap2: I'M SOOO HAPPY! WENT TO GEISS YESTERDAY 238 ON HIS SCALE.247 ON HIS SCALE 2/14/06 OH WELL, I'M HAPPY HAD A SMALL ADJUSTMENT... AGAIN MEL COULDN'T GET TO IT,POWERS & KAREN CAME IN & IT TOOK POWERS A WHILE TO ACCESS IT TOO! I TOLD THEM TO JUST GIVE ME .01CC. WENT TO VICTORIA SECRETS & BOUGHT A NEW BEAUTIFUL BRA & IT FITS GREAT!   ONWARD! THE BEST IS YET TO COME! I WANT TO LIVE MORE ABUNDANTLY I'M WEARING ALL NEW CLOTHES... NEW SUITS, JACKETS, PANTS & SHIRTS! YIPEE! (& BRAS & UNDERWEAR TOO!) HAD MY HAIR COLORED BUT DARKER DON'T KNOW STILL IF I LIKE IT. MET JANE FRIED @ CHINESE BUFFET, SHE LOOKS GOOD...HAD HER NECK, ARMS & TUMMY TUCK $18K SHE DIDN'T RECOGNIZE ME @ FIRST! NEITHER DID MATT'S WIFE (FAI'S FRIEND)

luvlif

luvlif

 

1/24/06 244LBS GREAT RESTRICTION!

WALK IN A.M.21 MINS & 115 CALS WALKED LAST NIGHT I LIKE WALKING. B.FAST CRACKERS, CHEESE & 1 EGG...105 CALS HAD 1 C TEA LUNCH CHICKN BR- GRILLED, W 2 SLICE CHEESE, = 280 + 105= 385 DINNER: CHILLI = 220 +385 =605 + 6 CRACKERS & SALSA= 70 = 675 THE DAYS ARE GETTING LONGER DIDN'T GET DARK TIL 5.15 P.M.   I HAVE G-R-E-A-T RESTRICTION TO-DAY!!!YIPEE NO HUNGER PANGS WORE MY SIZE 20 STYLE & CO. PANTS FROM MACYS W NO PROBLEM...ZIPPED RIGHT UP!

luvlif

luvlif

 

8/9 208.5!

another few days & my new pants will fit! visualizing myself at goal!

luvlif

luvlif

 

6/7/06 213lbs

:clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: 213lbs!:clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: goal 210 by 14th... my 6 month anniversary next Wednesday!

luvlif

luvlif

 

2/18 235 yipee

I'M SO HAPPY! :clap2: :eek: :clap2: :clap2: 235! THATS 12LBS IN A MONTH! ON BSCI.COM'S GRAPH, I'M STEADILY SHEDDING WEIGHT. IT SHOWS IN MY ABS & MY FACE. MY UPPER ABS HAVE A LINE RUNNING THRU IT VERTICALLY, AND MY BELLY IS SMALLER & THE BOTTOM HAS A DEFINITE SCOOP TAKEN OUT OF IT. LAST NITE AS I LAY IN BED I FELT THE BURN IN MY THIGHS SO I KNEW THE NEXT DAY I WOULD WEIGH LESS! NOW I WANT TO BE 230 BY WED I KNOW I CAN DO IT WITH THIS RESTRICTION.THIS A.M. I COULDN'T EAT MORE THAN 1/2 C OF COTTAGE CHEESE... HAD TO PUT 1/4 C AWAY...I FELT RESTRICTED! NOW I'M LEARNING TO EAT LESS...1/2C IS ALL I NEED. YESTERDAY I ATE: B:1/2C COTTAGE CHEESE & TEA L: 4PM 1/2C COTT CHEESE, (TRIED TO EAT EGG WHITES BUT COULDN'T STARTED SLIMING, SO I LEFT IT) D: 9PM 3-4 OZ TURBOT & 3 CRACKERS W EGGPLANT DIDN'T WORKOUT TOO DRAINED NAPPED FROM 6PM-9PM DIDN'T SLEEP WELL @ NITE.

luvlif

luvlif

 

4/5/06 SUPPORT GROUP

:girl_hug: I LOOKED DAMN GOOD!WILLO, DIANE LOSITO, DEE DIGUARDIA, & SHERWINTER & MY MARIA ALL TOLD ME & SO DID ROBIN! WHO IS JEALOUS IS LUCY! SHE WAS SARCASTIC ABOUT MY SPEAKING TO EVERYONE...SHE SAW ME TALKING TO GEISS AS WE WENT UPSTAIRS ... GEISS STARTED SPEAKING TO ME... WE WERE TALKING ABOUT OBESITY IN INDIA, & WORLD WIDE & THE DISCRIMINATION THE OBESE FACE...OFCOURSE IT PISSED HER OFF AS DID THE FACT THAT WILLO GAVE ME THE PAPERS TO GIVE OUT WHEN SHE SAT AT THE END. BOTH DIANE & DEE COULDN'T BELIEVE HOW GOOD I LOOKED. THEN TODAY LUCY MENTIONED HOW MEL DIDN'T LIKE THE OTHER GIRL TALKING....NOW I'M GOING TO CUT HER LOOSE...NO MORE EATING W HER @ THE DINER AFTER SUPPORT GROUP...I'M GOING TO EAT BEFORE & THAT IS IT . SHE IS NOT SERIOUS ABOUT HER OWN WEIGHT LOSS & IS JEALOUS OF MINE...EVEN HOW SHE SPEAKS TO HER DAUGHTER IS BITCHY ...SHE IS VERY ANGRY @ HERSELF & IS NOT DONE MAKING EXCUSES! SHE LOOKS TO BLAME THE DOCTORS OR MAKE EXCUSES FOR NOT LOSING WT...SOMEONE LIKE THAT IS GOING TO PULL ME DOWN TOO! SHE WAS BOTHERED THAT I HAD A FILL ON FRIDAY! I'M GLAD I DIDN'T TELL HER ABOUT WILLO ALTHOUGH SHE PROBABLY SAW US TALKING & SAW WILLO GIVE ME HER CARD...I BET THAT BURNT HER UP TOO.... THAT'S IT!I BET THAT IS WHAT BOTHERED HER MY LOOKING TO BETTER MYSELF! NO MORE. I'LL CUT THE BITCH LOSE & GIVE THE CLOTHES TO GOODWILL...END OF STORY!

luvlif

luvlif

 

4/17 NSV!

FIT IN SIZE16 OLD NAVY CAPRIS YESTERDAY & GAVE AWAY MY SIZE 22S TO GOODWILL.

luvlif

luvlif

 

10/21 HURTFUL PEOPLE

I feel your pain hon and I am so sorry that your spirit is sore. You have all that any man could and should want, but humans are stupid creatures. Never knowing what they are looking for till it has passed them by. Within you is a light that shines thru the darkest days and somewhere there is a man who will see that light and know he has found something magical! I know that does not erase the pain you now feel, but I also know it is the truth. God made each of us in different strengths... for different reasons, some of us may never know why...but you have so much to offer the world I can not help but believe that your strength is a gift meant for wonderous things. Be strong hon, feel the pain if you must but believe in the light as well! No one as beautiful and caring as you can go un noticed for too long. Be proud of who you are and what you have done!   You are gorgeous. We all suffer from insecurity, even those size 4's do. People that talk about you behind your back are not worth a second thought. They are the flawed ones, not you.   Have you ever heard the saying "fake it till you make it"? I bet if you acted as though you had confidence and were proud of yourself, you would soon realize that it is you who is seeing you the way that you do and not others. Walk tall girl, you are very special, you just need to believe it and reflect it.     and remember that you are never alone, even though you may think it..... you are never alone! I am so sorry to know someone else - esp. someone as beautiful and special as you, NINA- feels this same way. I agree with those who say we need to learn to project confidence (and NOT the f*ck off/not-interested/available vibe) - not saying I know how to do that, just that we need to learn...   For you, a truly Phenomenal Woman, I dedicate this poem to inspire (hopefully us both):       PHENOMENAL WOMAN by Maya Angelou Pretty women wonder where my secret lies I'm not cute or built to suit a model's fashion size But when I start to tell them They think I'm telling lies. I say It's in the reach of my arms The span of my hips The stride of my steps The curl of my lips. I'm a woman Phenomenally Phenomenal woman That's me. I walk into a room Just as cool as you please And to a man The fellows stand or Fall down on their knees Then they swarm around me A hive of honey bees. I say It's the fire in my eyes And the flash of my teeth The swing of my waist And the joy in my feet. I'm a woman Phenomenally Phenomenal woman That's me. Men themselves have wondered What they see in me They try so much But they can't touch My inner mystery. When I try to show them They say they still can't see. I say It's in the arch of my back The sun of my smile The ride of my breasts The grace of my style. I'm a woman Phenomenally Phenomenal woman That's me. Now you understand Just why my head's not bowed I don't shout or jump about Or have to talk real loud When you see me passing It ought to make you proud. I say It's in the click of my heels The bend of my hair The palm of my hand The need for my care. 'Cause I'm a woman Phenomenally Phenomenal woman That's me.

luvlif

luvlif

 

8/12 206.1

206.1LBS! ...4.5LBS IN A WEEK I LOVE MYBAND! CHICKEN CORN SOUP IS VERY HELPFUL TOO. I'M HOVERING AROUND 600CALS A DAY GOAL 4LBS SHED A WEEK, 16 IN 4 WEEKS: 202LBS BY SAT 8/19 198LBS BY SAT 8/26 194 BY SAT SEPT 2 GOAL 194 BY SEPT 2 178 BY SEPT 30 162 BY OCT 28 146 BY NOV 25 FAI'S B.DAY 140 BY DEC 9TH

luvlif

luvlif

 

11/25

"you are my lady,you're everything I need, you're all I'm looking for" that song is haunting me

luvlif

luvlif

 

5/11 220

WALKED SAT 1.5MI WALKED SUN 3 MI @ SUNKEN MEADOW BOARDWALK WEIGHED 220LBS TODAY...MY CHELSEA CAMPBELL JACKETS FIT! NOW I HAVE MORE CLOTHES THAN I CAN IMAGINE!

luvlif

luvlif

 

HELLO SIZE 8!

Met Pete Spataro last night...he was hitting on me! Couldn't believe how good I looked. This morning I put on my grey & silver pinstriped pants SIZE 8.... they fit but theyr'e short. I DO LOOK HOT...MY GREY LEATHER VEST & BLACK STRETCH SHIRT FITS ME BEAUTIFULLY. My knee hurt last night & this a.m.... Geiss Said NO MOTRIN OR ANY ANTI INLFAMITORY. IT'S BAD FOR THE POUCH...IF I HAVE TO, TO TAKE MAALOX FIRST...I DECIDED I DONT WANT TO RISK HURTING MY POUCH...I'LL TAKE TYLENOL & GRIN & BEAR IT!

luvlif

luvlif

 

242 SUN 1/29/06

BFAST:1 EGG & 1 LITE HOT DOG 70+50= 120 SNACK 100 CH& CRKRS LUNCH 3/4 CHILLI & 1/2 POT=165+135 300=520 1/2 BAG GRAHAM 50=570 DINNER:INDIAN FOOD 650 =1220 MARIA CAME TO SEE ME COULDN'T BELIEVE HOW I LOOKED.

luvlif

luvlif

 

11/27 I look hot!

my grey houndstooth (small) is very loose on me.... to-day I wore my grey suit...w lace blouse...v sexy .... I guess I changed a lot & it's normal for a man to be jealous & insecure when a woman he loves changes as dramatically as I did in 10 mos, especially when he has issues w insecurity like HE does. The need for constant reassurance has not changed...just worsened. The neediness is worsened too!:omg:

luvlif

luvlif

 

11/3

CAME IN BY HIMSELF....LOOKED SAD....W MY CHECK

luvlif

luvlif

 

2/7 LUVLIF

"Even though you may want to move forward in your life, you may have one foot on the brakes. In order to be free, we must learn how to let go. Release the hurt. Release the fear. Refuse to entertain your old pain. The energy it takes to hang onto the past is holding you back from a new life.   What is it you would let go of today?"   - Mary Manin

luvlif

luvlif

 

2/15 240 1ST PB! UGH!

1ST PB! 4X IN A MATTER OF AN HOUR! RESTRICTION IS HERE!:faint: NO MORE CHINESE BUFFET FOR ME...I MEAN IT I JUST CANNOT.   FROM GEISS' MESSAGE BOARD: SOME SUCCEED BECAUSE THEY ARE DESTINED TO MOST SUCCEED BECAUSE THEY ARE DETERMINED TO :eek:   THOSE WHO WANT TO SUCCEED WILL FIND A WAY THOSE WHO DON'T WILL FIND AN EXCUSE.   ONCE YOU DECIDE WHAT YOU WANT, YOU MAKE A COMMITMENT TO THAT DECISION I ATE 500 CALS IN THE WHOLE DAY   WALKED 40 MINS IN AM & 30 IN PM, 2 MILES TOTAL. BURNED 400 CALS. I WAS RESTRICTED!

luvlif

luvlif

 

bette blackwell

Bette Blackwell when someone told her she could never have been fat. My first thought was, "Why on earth would anyone CLAIM to be that pretty unhappy, unhealthy, severely obese person if they weren't?" Then I realized that hey - when I look at some of the most recent photos, sometimes *I* don't recognize the "new me" as me.   I told the group that there I times when I FORGET that I'm not in the body of the person I was in almost 2 years ago. That I was standing in line waiting for a stall in the ladies' room last week, looked in the mirror and thought, "WHOA! That's ME!" That I honestly forget sometimes, when I'm not looking in the mirror, that the fat lady, on the outside, anyway, is gone. There's this still-strange-to-me skinny lady, with new-found cheekbones, collarbones and shoulder blades, and thin, almost dainty wrists, living here now.   It's not easy, though. The fat girl still lives here, and she fights with the skinny girl every day. She wants to eat when she's bored, tired, angry, lonely, sad, happy . . . hell, even horny sometimes. I've said it before and I'll say it again: this isn't easy. It's a constant battle between the two of them. Most days, skinny girl wins, but not always. Those moments of defeat are the moments when I find myself looking into my reflection in the water in the loo once again. The flesh may be weak, but the spirit is always unbroken, and I'll get back up and fight again.   Jeez. This is getting far too deep and philosophical for me. It's time for a long bubble bath and then, bedtime.

luvlif

luvlif

 

new goal

"Unwritten"   I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned   Staring at the blank page before you Open up the dirty window Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find   Reaching for something in the distance So close you can almost taste it Release your inhibitions Feel the rain on your skin No one else can feel it for you Only you can let it in No one else, no one else Can speak the words on your lips Drench yourself in words unspoken Live your life with arms wide open Today is where your book begins The rest is still unwritten   I break tradition, sometimes my tries, are outside the lines We've been conditioned to not make mistakes, but I can't live that way   Feel the rain on your skin No one else can feel it for you Only you can let it in No one else, no one else Can speak the words on your lips Drench yourself in words unspoken Live your life with arms wide open Today is where your book begins The rest is still unwritten   Staring at the blank page before you Open up the dirty window Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find Reaching for something in the distance So close you can almost taste it Release your INHIBITIONS   Feel the rain on your skin No one else can feel it for you Only you can let it in No one else, no one else Can speak the words on your lips treat yourself in words unspoken Live your life with arms wide open Today is where your book begins   Staring at the blank page before you Open up the dirty window Let the sun illuminate the words That you could not find   Reaching for something in the distance So close you can almost taste it Release your INHIBITIONS   Feel the rain on your skin No one else can feel it for you Only you can let it in No one else, no one else Can speak the words on your lips treat yourself in words unspoken Live your life with arms wide open Today is where your book begins   Feel the rain on your skin No one else can feel it for you Only you can let it in No one else, no one else Can speak the words on your lips treat yourself in words unspoken Live your life with arms wide open Today is where your book begins The rest is still unwritten The rest is still unwritten

luvlif

luvlif

 

OH MY LOVE!

5/30 @ LISA'S FATHER'S FUNERAL "I NEED REASSURANCE OF YOUR LOVE FOR ME" 6/1 "SO BEAUTIFUL" @ RACE TRACK as we openly showed our mutual love w our eyes 6/15 FIRST I WENT & STOOD BEHIND HIM IN FULL VIEW OF THE MIRROR IN THE SECRETARIAL ROOM -WE DO LOOK GOOD TOGETHER! THEN WENT BACK TO MY RM & HE WAS TALKING TO SEAN. ME:"MY DARLING, I LOVE YOU SWEETHEART" LOOKED @ HIS LIPS THEN OUR EYES LOCKED IN A DEEP LONG LONGING STARE & I FELT THAT WAVE OF PASSION FROM HIM... HIS FACE CRUMBLED...(LIKE IT DID WHEN I TOLD HIM I CARED FOR HIM NOT HIS DUMB CO IN NOV) HIS WHOLE DEMEANOUR CHANGED & AGAIN HE IS MY LOVER TO BE! 6/25 I TOLD HIM ABOUT NANCY DILLON..."CHRIS LOVES LISA" HIS EYEBROWS SHOT UP & HE LOOKED @ ME AS IF TO SAY "ARE YOU OK W IT?" & I LOOKED GENTLY @ HIM ..."I TRUST YOU" (WILLO SAID THAT I SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF HIM W THAT COMMENT...LIKE IT DIDNT MATTER TO ME... SHE TOLD ME I WAS HIS FOUNDATION & THAT WE HAVE THE MOST UNBELIEVEABLE NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION GOING ON) 6/26 I LOOKED @ HIM @ MTG "I WANTED YOU" HE KNEW WHAT I MEANT. 6/29 WEHN I WENT TO HOLBROOK..PATTIE LOOKED SHEEPISH...HE PROBABLY WENT & YELLED @ HER 6/30 ARLENE TOLD ME "CHRIS LOVED SUZANNE" ...TRUE TO WHAT I EXPECTED FROM HER WHEN I LOOK GOOD.

luvlif

luvlif

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