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About this blog

I've litterally lived the yo yo's life of going up and down in weight between 155-264! 264 was my ultimate max! I love working out but portions is my enemy!! Im pretty steady and up to date on these

Entries in this blog

 

wow deffinatly going to get this done!

okay so I went on this lunch cruise in Wash DC today. on the Spirit of Washington. Its a buffet thingy. I went with this guy Ive been talk to for afew months and it was great. Soo the foood wasssssssssss out standing, buttttttt I stopped eatting way before I was ready! I was to embarrassed to finish you guys know what Im talking about and the whole time I was thinking ugh if i had this surgery I would stop at a normal persons rate ugh ugh im so tired of this embarrament.. The dessert well i ate half of it when i wanted it all. But I saw that I was the only one who touched it ugh ugh I need this crap sooo badly...

fitflab25

fitflab25

 

will i ever eat normal again?

I get bandded Jan 20th, and ive noticed ppl keep saying every time they get a fill they gotta start the liquid diet alll over again? I plan on being really aggressive with my weight loss untill i get below 190 pounds then from there i wanna do it slow and easie like 2 pounds a week.. But i also read that Ill never get to eat some of my comfert foods again is this true? I mean i gotta have some mac n cheese every once and a great while when come to think of it the last time i had it was like 5 months ago... what about some dessert here and there??? do i have to start the liquid diet all over again every fill? Also my friend that had this surgery done and awsome results she said it totally changed her eatting habits... like she dosent want junk food any more ect , ill take any insight peeps love to hear your thoughs

fitflab25

fitflab25

 

Why i canceled my surgery and whats going on now..

Ookay well IMMMMMM BACKKK, I was supposed to have surgery on Jan 21st this year! But first i couldnt come up with the money of 725 in time, and then i was getting judged sooooooo badly!!!! From ppl at work, see im in law enforcement and every one knows how i love to work out and my knowledge of working out. But they dont know my addiction to food!!! So I thought i could do it on my own again, and of corse i was dissapointed in 3 months i got down to 216, but thats because of a colon cleanse!!!! Well I went running yesterday and my legs are hurting bad i really need to stop running until i start loseing weight!!!! So this time im deffinatly keeping it a secret now. Also i got a interveiw with the police department i want to be on and If i get this surgey ASAP i know i can drop more weight by the time they call me back if they do? So thats whats been up. Im taking donations for the initial fee for the nutritionist.. LOL

fitflab25

fitflab25

 

where is this lday at the office?

Okay so ive called 3 times last week and left voice mails. Her voice mail says ill try my best to get back to to you in 24 hrs!!!! is that 24 work hours? Well Ive already been approved and set a surgery date but had to hold off cause i couldnt get the 725 fee up in time.. So now that im on the right path with the money i can reschedule. So i left her a message and nothing yet? WTF im about to go and find another doctor already this office is driving me nuts....

fitflab25

fitflab25

 

went to the mall today

So i went to the mall today with my friend from work of course she is skinnier than I. Well our mission was to get a pedi done and find a nice coat for her husbands birthday tomarrow. We managed the goat at Macy's but heres the deal. She is looking for a size XL coat for her husband and gets me to wear it and modle it cause I "have broader shoulders" that kinda hurt in a embarassing way, put i played it off cooly by acting like Im on a run way doing turns and what not.. But still that stayed in my head all day, then we went to New York and Co. clothing and I saw this beautiful skirt that was black lace all over and like a champainge satin showing through. I fitted in a size 18 eww i hate that crap. I wanted to buy it but I didnt cause I know im getting this done next month! I cant wait to not be asked to wear a mans coat to resemble him again...grrrrrr but she didnt mean no hard i dont think.:thumbup::blushing::blushing:

fitflab25

fitflab25

 

Wendys down the hatch

I just ate a wendys number two value meal. Im going to re weigh in tomarrow morning and have no doubt what so ever ill make the weigh in the time!!! woo hoo. Im currently watching VH1 Tough Love and see that these hot women can't get a man. Then I know I dont have a chance in u know where. Yet another reason that I want this surgery. I want a sexy me again. I want confidence to wear sleevless shirts and spaghetti straps ect... Any who Im really aimming to have this surgery done this month. I know the insurence will go through in a heart beat. I just gotta get the 725 down and I already got that in play.. These ppl move so fast I could probaly get it done in two weeks! Cross your fingers I cant wait to get this done and start my new life..

fitflab25

fitflab25

 

Ugh the 9th is to far away..

I just called my office, to see if i can get the consultation date closer.. No good so i have to wait till thursday.. Im not working out till i weight in i have to be 220 and right now after a trip to the potty i am 215. Dressed lightly.. Ive been looking at POlice Jobs in florida ect cause i just miss the heat. Once i get this surgery and hit 170 Ill deffinatly have the confidence to apply for them. I hope to get this surgery this month any one willing to donate money let me know lol for the nutritionalist fee. lol kidding.. I want to so badly be in uniform and not looked like a typical doughnut eatting cop. I am hopeing to get hired on a department before June also or else i have to go through the police academy all over again. My dream as a police officer is to be a FIT FEMALE WHERE the fellow male officers can feel confident in let me have their back.... I got tough skin, i love working out already i can only imagine how fit i will look and be once this fat falls off and i train the same way if not harder!!! I cant wait ahhhhhhh 7 more days till the consultaiton..

fitflab25

fitflab25

 

Two pounds short this time

So I went in and weighed at 224, I know this isnt fat cause i havent went to the potty in a few days. I gotta be 226 to qualify. So Im and going to buy some ankle weights. and go that route. Also the great news is that they no longer to the nutritionalist fee of 725. You only have to pay 300 dollars for the two week liquid diet shakes if you even have to be on the liquid diet at all. I dont think I have to be on that thankfully. So Ill be back this Thursday with ankle weights and a smile on my face cause I know Ill make it this time.   Kellie

fitflab25

fitflab25

 

thought i could do it on my own!!

:angry_smile::cursing::cursing::cursing::eek:Well I was tryin again for the past two months to do this on my own.. But nothing I lost 8 pounds by starving my self and then I had 2 weeks on duty out of my area in new hampsier, I gained it all back!!!! I give up i need this done. I have my career and that one last step to my career dreams but the weight is the wall between us. I Have the love of my life back after two years apart and he knew me when i as at my smallest, I know we are going to marry one day and I want to look hella hot as we did when we first met!!! I need this done I need this done years ago so i don have to worry for this and that damn scale. BTW who said not weighing your self helps paleezze a day me not weighing my self lol wow ill fall back and not know it and totally depressed when i finally step back on the scales.... Ill be scheduling the surgery date tomarrow and Im taking the first day I get available, I have 3 days leave saved up So that should be good to go with work...

fitflab25

fitflab25

 

That important approval call! Yay or Nay?

Well I was sleeping when the call came in yesterday! I work midnights so I sleep in split shifts (yawwnnnn) Any ways I GOT APPROVED! NO PROUBLEMS NO DELAYS I WEIGHEND IN thursday on the 18 this month they sent it in and tuesday on the 23rd I got a call saying Im approved! All I have to do now is schedule a suregery date for what I gathered. I told the nurse Ill call them back to do that cause i was half a sleep! Im to excited but reality hit that im actually doing this so the little fears kicked in again..... I was watching the biggest loser thinking every one can lose the weight like that if we have those resources! I even applied for that show a year ago! Well now im excited to call and get a date to make a time line of when I can start living like a real 20's aged women! Not to mention move to that last point of my career of being actual dept of army police!!! Ill keep ya posted

fitflab25

fitflab25

 

So much to live for and do.

2008 has been a major turning pointe in my life, it all started in 2005. I left my husband at the age of wow I think 23! While he was in a range shooting practice. I couldnt take him no more he just tore me down and him flirting and gods only knows what else. I didnt have a proublem with im being a soldier, but i had proublems with him not comming home untill 11pm and not calling me once all day long. So I dont have kids and Im deffinatly miss indipendent. I get my own place and live as seperated for a year and 9 months untill he found out he got another pregnante and needed to marry to get the army to payfor it.. So I divorce in Sept of 06.. He remarried a week later, well needless to say Its been crazy and Ive learned what marriage is about even more. Durring this time i totally lost my self, my goals, dreams and ambitions but yet met the love of my life. Well after my divorce I decided that im 26 no kids and got a good head on my shoulders, ect... Its time to get back to whome I was before i got married and make up for lost time.. In this time I raised my credit 4 hundred some odd points. Completed a Ohio police academy and got hired Dept of Army Security and moved to Virginia just below DC.. Now that I got my careeer on track and getting my finances back in order as well talking to the love of my life again and we are getting back togeather again. The only thing out of place is my body image, im not comfertable in my own skin!!! I got all this stuff togeather except my weight that I gained durring my marriage of hell.. Ive lost around 40 some pounds on my own n the time passing but thats through the unhealthy ways and deffinatly need to lose around a hundred more!!!! I cant wait till turnning point of my life on Jan 20th 2009 I need this to complete me!!!!!!!

fitflab25

fitflab25

 

scheduling the surgery date

Well today I finally got ahold of the lady to make a schedule for the surgery. She said we schedule the surgery then work back from there and on backwards. So she listed me some dates and neither of them go with my work schedule, and it look like it will be around Nov when I can make it happen. She also said I will be staying in over night also thats just there proceedure. Honestly right now Im asking my self have I really done all that I think I can do to lose this freaking weight, is there a real possability that I can do it on my own?? Im so uncertain about so many things Iim considering just not getting it done and try some more on my own. After all I made it this far on my own? THanks for reading

fitflab25

fitflab25

 

Questions for the banded

1- Do people see dramatic results in your portions like to the point its freaky? Im scared that Ill go eat with some one and they think im annorexic lol?   2- whats the average weight loss for the first month of being banded when you work out 4-5 days a week?   3- can you balance your weight loss to a certain weight like i was really comfertable at 150- still had my hips and booty, ect I dont want to be stick thin I dont think so any ways?   4- how you deal with the changing of clothes sizes? Just wear stuff till they fall off or buy an out firt or twoo to carry u through?   5- how soon can you work out?   6- how long it usually take for your incisions t totally heal?   Sorry these are stupid questions but ive never had surgery before and I am to excited to be normal soon again.....

fitflab25

fitflab25

 

Port Locations, least noticed area????

Okay well for those of you who been keeping tabs on me know that Im keeping this a secret one cause ppl know i work out like crazy and my sudden weight loss will not be a surprize to them the will think wow she found the missing link!! But how ever Im in a long distance military relitonship, and Im hiding it from him untill totally neccassary. Like we get married and he needs to know medically. One for the fact that when we met I was super skinny and two he is a soldier so i hear him talk of his soldiers badly for getting out of shape!!!! He never gives me any reason to feel badly about my weight at all! He always said more to love but he knows how it bugs me... Any ways So my girlfriend in florida said her and her hubby were lying on the couch cuddling and he felt a knot on her waitst and freaked out like what is that!!! He knew of the surgery but he port poked out like knot!!! So WHERE IS THE BEST LEAST NOTICABLE PLACE TO HAVE IT ?????

fitflab25

fitflab25

 

Okay seriously now, i need this done!

So Im sure you guys and gals can see that i go back and forth with this idea! Right? Well I tell you this, past weekend was retarded in portions and eatting and what not. I had a four day weekend and I didnt get to see my one true love 12 hours aways (both military, hes the soldier though) So i was board out of my mind, i ate sushi 3 rolls, a salad and miso soup. I had more the next day, and this morning omg I bought a box of freaking smore pop tarts not the normal box but the bigger ones, and i ate one pack on the way home, then 2 more just chilling then went to buy me a new lap top and cause it was morning, i saw mc donalds and got a steak egg and cheese bagle with the hash brown, not cause i was hungry cause i craved it!!! what the heck?? Now I know with this band it will stop me from over eatting like that for sure! Then by the end of the day guess what no more pop tarts!!!! RRRRRRRRRRRRR i hate my self for that crap! I do I do I doooo....... so i finally saw some scares of laproscopic surgeries one for gastric bypass one for lap banding. My friend in florida that had it done in April her scars look the worse cause she said something about her being italian and the what her blood dose to them?? Made them red and thick looking? Even her heart surgery scar is like that. Well any ways, on another note I talked to the schedule lady and there are a few days i can choose from. The surgeries are done on tuesdays and thursday, if not wensdays I forget. So this is the deal, I get one four day weekend a month Friday, sat, sun, monday. Then I get 2, two days tuesday and wensday's. Now Im armed security for the military on midnight shifts, i barely do anything except for when on post two where i gotta make a long round a 20-30 minuet walk basically 2 times that night, then a 5 minuet walk ever other hour. So my question is could I get this surgery on a two day weekend use one leave day and make it three and be mostly comfertable to do that minimal work? im proubaly going to do it on the wensday that way I can use leave for the thursday and have 5 days off.. I think thats going to work better. Now another thing is I can have it early Oct if I do the two days off or other wise i gotta wait till the end of the month for my four day. If any one can show some insight on this let me know.. :thumbup::smile:

fitflab25

fitflab25

 

My you tube video blog

Hey every body I started my video blog on youtube for my lap band surgery Im going to be very very detaild about everything. Add me if you would like.. heres the link.. http://www.youtube.com/user/fitflab26

fitflab25

fitflab25

 

My firtst intro, and look at my past and current, and dreams of the future.

Well as of today Im currently weighing in at 218! Yeah Ive lost some weight on my own but it shouldnt take two years do lose about 45 lbs on your own!! Ive been to 3 surgeons seminars, one gastric bypass and two lap bands. A week from tomarrow Mon 22 of sept 08 I was at a Woodbridge, Va Lap Band surgeons office to qualify. I missed it by 5 pounds so went in the following thursday after eatting what I call a normal breakfest and hit the numbers on the spot! Now currently waiting on the insurence to say yay or nay... The past gatric bypass thing, believe it or not I was litterally lying in the hospital bed and about to get the white stuff. But I panicked cause I was left in a room all alone and never had surgery before in my life! Not even a freaking tooth pulled!! That was in Louisiana May of 2005. I then gained a extra bit of weight taking me up to 264!!!! January of 2007 I decided to try and figure out a way to shrink my own stomach, so I forced my self to eat only out of a coffee mug only one and when my stomach grawled like mad crazy! It was horrible and all but after 2 weeks it worked and weight started falling off. Ive lost a total of about 45 pounds since thing just by portions and working out in the gym for at least 2 hours at a time!!!!! But here at 218 Im at that point where my weight dosent want to go no where! Im so tired of this struggle not being able to dress like I want to for my age, go clubbing and dressing hot! I have no kids and not married so I shouldnt be dressing like hillary clinton! But Im just a jeans and t shirt gal, I find that t shirts hide that roll real good and show just enough of the booty. I work security for the federal Gov, but my goal is to be Federal Gov police for the Dept of the army, I just need to be in shape and look the part and in the civian military theres no stero type police officers! So yea this weight is a burden on my career also. Im deciding to face my fears becasue of my girlfriend in FL she had the surgery done in May and OMG what a a transformation from then to now!!! Im so jelous of her!! She so hot and sexy now, her and her hubbys relationship is like the fourt of the july she goes to clubs and wears all the hottest outfits. I want that confidence so bad!!! I hate it when Im having bedroom time with my man, anything with my stomach grosses me out!!! He maybe not catch it but it totally ruins the mood for me mentally and that ruins it all for most females in that department. My weight god it holds me back in so much!!! I need to let it go so I can let go and free my self!!! Now to list my fears of this if it happens: 1 Just it being surgery in general never had it b4. 2 Pain, Im tough and can handle alot of it but how much dose this bring. 3 Scars! How noticle are they? Do they shrink as we lose weight, dose mederma scar softner help it? 4 lose skin, ive yo yoed for so long! 5 will my portions be majorly noticable for those that dont know i have this!

fitflab25

fitflab25

 

Lo Profile Ports? all details welcomed

I herd there is lo profile ports now. Is this true? If so I hope Relize band has it thats the band brand Im getting. Any info welcomed and needed im totally worried for the port showing when i drop weight..:thumbup:

fitflab25

fitflab25

 

Im scheduling the surgery date tomarrow

OKay so im making up my surgery date tomarrow! Tonight im going to jot down all possible days i can make it happen, here is what dates are available right now November 5th, 18th, 19th,25 so that 25th works the best so far it falls on my tuesday and wensday off! and then I can use a leave day or two for that and make it four days off and so onn but i gotta see. cause ill proubably get swamped with over time due to the holidays and im the newbie.... hmmmmm I dont know what to think now shooot far...... any recomendations and remember that im new here been here 2 months exactly now.

fitflab25

fitflab25

 

Im keepin it a secret, how to fib the scares?

So im keeping this surgery a secret except for my mother and a select other few.. How ever when every your under the sheets with that special some one they are bond to notice. What can I say i had surgery for to get around the fact untill Im ready to expose that truth? Gullbladder, female issue, what else??? Any ideas..:willy_nilly:

fitflab25

fitflab25

 

I know this is a tool but....

I read blogs and they confuse me sometimes. About dieting and so forth? So whats the band tool really ment to do, if we gotta fight mental food cravings and what types of food we eat. Isnt this what we need to do to lose weight with out the band. So where dose the band being a tool come in to play? I am a heathly eatter, but I eat alottttt like a few days ago i was at this guys house i am talking too and he cooked some rice and beef kinda like chinese. He put only enough to fit on a saucer plate!!!!! This fat girl looked at that and thought omg omg a mouse to stomach all this!!! So I eat it slowly as possible and with much water to be temporarely satisfied. By the time i left I was starving again after like 2 hours the first MC D's i saw i was there!!! So tell me if Im wrong, I want this band because i need help with my portions and hunger. I look at what i eat in size compared to others and Im embarassed. Am i on the right path here?

fitflab25

fitflab25

 

i cant wait

Man im counting down the day till surgery Im not nervouse right now but im sure i will be as it creeps up.....

fitflab25

fitflab25

 

Heres a question for you guys and gals

Okay so I talked to my friend in FL who had this done this time last year. She just told me that she is stuck at about 150 something at 5'3 -5'2 or so. She has to reach 115 or something like that. Well she told me that if she dosent hit the 100 pounds lost mark her insurence will get on to her about it? That sounds crazy to me, because 20 pounds over weight is way better than 100 pounds. So is this possible or true? Also I am going to re weigh in this week about Wensday, and going to wear a ankle weight, cause come on 2 friggin pounds off omg you can just write that in. Well when I finally get this weighn in down I wonder what will happen after I am approved and I lose some weight like 15 pounds due to the liquid diet ect? Tell all peeps i trust u like that

fitflab25

fitflab25

 

got my surgery date

:angry_smile::cursing::lol:Got my surgery date!! The day of my new life is also the day of our new president.. Jan 20TH! Im to excited for this a new me and ill be under 200 pounds by the time of my 27 b day of march 26th woo hooooooo Im so happy im shaking

fitflab25

fitflab25

 

God im a PIG!!!!

:w00t: :wub:I just ate a whole pack of bertolli 10 minuet pasta meal in the bag. One bag serves 2 people and i ate the whole thing by my self with out any second guesses or thoughts. My stomach dont even feel full really slightly maybe but thats it.. I am totally embarrased to eat in front of ppl for this fact, any one agree? I cant wait to get bandded and actually eat like girl dose not a freaking foot ball player. You know the last time i met up with my man five months ago, we went to the maccaroni grill and he orderd a huge plate and u know the normal portions they serve are enough to last a bandded person a week. Well we spent the night at a hotel for 24 hours ( military we meet in the middle) And i just ate the meat of the pasta it was shrimp and chicken.. and went hungry the rest of them time and drank water to shut my stomach up... The next morning we ate at mc Donalds and he ordered two breakfest burritos and i lol the fruit and wal nut salad lol and after we parted and i stopped crying enough to relize my stomach was yelling obsenities i pulled over and got a value meal at mc donalds... My eatting is so embarrasing, any one feel me?????

fitflab25

fitflab25

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