Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!
Sign in to follow this  
  • entries
    31
  • comments
    112
  • views
    4,052

About this blog

I've litterally lived the yo yo's life of going up and down in weight between 155-264! 264 was my ultimate max! I love working out but portions is my enemy!! Im pretty steady and up to date on these

Entries in this blog

 

thought i could do it on my own!!

:angry_smile::cursing::cursing::cursing::eek:Well I was tryin again for the past two months to do this on my own.. But nothing I lost 8 pounds by starving my self and then I had 2 weeks on duty out of my area in new hampsier, I gained it all back!!!! I give up i need this done. I have my career and that one last step to my career dreams but the weight is the wall between us. I Have the love of my life back after two years apart and he knew me when i as at my smallest, I know we are going to marry one day and I want to look hella hot as we did when we first met!!! I need this done I need this done years ago so i don have to worry for this and that damn scale. BTW who said not weighing your self helps paleezze a day me not weighing my self lol wow ill fall back and not know it and totally depressed when i finally step back on the scales.... Ill be scheduling the surgery date tomarrow and Im taking the first day I get available, I have 3 days leave saved up So that should be good to go with work...

fitflab25

fitflab25

 

Im scheduling the surgery date tomarrow

OKay so im making up my surgery date tomarrow! Tonight im going to jot down all possible days i can make it happen, here is what dates are available right now November 5th, 18th, 19th,25 so that 25th works the best so far it falls on my tuesday and wensday off! and then I can use a leave day or two for that and make it four days off and so onn but i gotta see. cause ill proubably get swamped with over time due to the holidays and im the newbie.... hmmmmm I dont know what to think now shooot far...... any recomendations and remember that im new here been here 2 months exactly now.

fitflab25

fitflab25

 

Okay seriously now, i need this done!

So Im sure you guys and gals can see that i go back and forth with this idea! Right? Well I tell you this, past weekend was retarded in portions and eatting and what not. I had a four day weekend and I didnt get to see my one true love 12 hours aways (both military, hes the soldier though) So i was board out of my mind, i ate sushi 3 rolls, a salad and miso soup. I had more the next day, and this morning omg I bought a box of freaking smore pop tarts not the normal box but the bigger ones, and i ate one pack on the way home, then 2 more just chilling then went to buy me a new lap top and cause it was morning, i saw mc donalds and got a steak egg and cheese bagle with the hash brown, not cause i was hungry cause i craved it!!! what the heck?? Now I know with this band it will stop me from over eatting like that for sure! Then by the end of the day guess what no more pop tarts!!!! RRRRRRRRRRRRR i hate my self for that crap! I do I do I doooo....... so i finally saw some scares of laproscopic surgeries one for gastric bypass one for lap banding. My friend in florida that had it done in April her scars look the worse cause she said something about her being italian and the what her blood dose to them?? Made them red and thick looking? Even her heart surgery scar is like that. Well any ways, on another note I talked to the schedule lady and there are a few days i can choose from. The surgeries are done on tuesdays and thursday, if not wensdays I forget. So this is the deal, I get one four day weekend a month Friday, sat, sun, monday. Then I get 2, two days tuesday and wensday's. Now Im armed security for the military on midnight shifts, i barely do anything except for when on post two where i gotta make a long round a 20-30 minuet walk basically 2 times that night, then a 5 minuet walk ever other hour. So my question is could I get this surgery on a two day weekend use one leave day and make it three and be mostly comfertable to do that minimal work? im proubaly going to do it on the wensday that way I can use leave for the thursday and have 5 days off.. I think thats going to work better. Now another thing is I can have it early Oct if I do the two days off or other wise i gotta wait till the end of the month for my four day. If any one can show some insight on this let me know.. :thumbup::smile:

fitflab25

fitflab25

 

scheduling the surgery date

Well today I finally got ahold of the lady to make a schedule for the surgery. She said we schedule the surgery then work back from there and on backwards. So she listed me some dates and neither of them go with my work schedule, and it look like it will be around Nov when I can make it happen. She also said I will be staying in over night also thats just there proceedure. Honestly right now Im asking my self have I really done all that I think I can do to lose this freaking weight, is there a real possability that I can do it on my own?? Im so uncertain about so many things Iim considering just not getting it done and try some more on my own. After all I made it this far on my own? THanks for reading

fitflab25

fitflab25

 

That important approval call! Yay or Nay?

Well I was sleeping when the call came in yesterday! I work midnights so I sleep in split shifts (yawwnnnn) Any ways I GOT APPROVED! NO PROUBLEMS NO DELAYS I WEIGHEND IN thursday on the 18 this month they sent it in and tuesday on the 23rd I got a call saying Im approved! All I have to do now is schedule a suregery date for what I gathered. I told the nurse Ill call them back to do that cause i was half a sleep! Im to excited but reality hit that im actually doing this so the little fears kicked in again..... I was watching the biggest loser thinking every one can lose the weight like that if we have those resources! I even applied for that show a year ago! Well now im excited to call and get a date to make a time line of when I can start living like a real 20's aged women! Not to mention move to that last point of my career of being actual dept of army police!!! Ill keep ya posted

fitflab25

fitflab25

 

My firtst intro, and look at my past and current, and dreams of the future.

Well as of today Im currently weighing in at 218! Yeah Ive lost some weight on my own but it shouldnt take two years do lose about 45 lbs on your own!! Ive been to 3 surgeons seminars, one gastric bypass and two lap bands. A week from tomarrow Mon 22 of sept 08 I was at a Woodbridge, Va Lap Band surgeons office to qualify. I missed it by 5 pounds so went in the following thursday after eatting what I call a normal breakfest and hit the numbers on the spot! Now currently waiting on the insurence to say yay or nay... The past gatric bypass thing, believe it or not I was litterally lying in the hospital bed and about to get the white stuff. But I panicked cause I was left in a room all alone and never had surgery before in my life! Not even a freaking tooth pulled!! That was in Louisiana May of 2005. I then gained a extra bit of weight taking me up to 264!!!! January of 2007 I decided to try and figure out a way to shrink my own stomach, so I forced my self to eat only out of a coffee mug only one and when my stomach grawled like mad crazy! It was horrible and all but after 2 weeks it worked and weight started falling off. Ive lost a total of about 45 pounds since thing just by portions and working out in the gym for at least 2 hours at a time!!!!! But here at 218 Im at that point where my weight dosent want to go no where! Im so tired of this struggle not being able to dress like I want to for my age, go clubbing and dressing hot! I have no kids and not married so I shouldnt be dressing like hillary clinton! But Im just a jeans and t shirt gal, I find that t shirts hide that roll real good and show just enough of the booty. I work security for the federal Gov, but my goal is to be Federal Gov police for the Dept of the army, I just need to be in shape and look the part and in the civian military theres no stero type police officers! So yea this weight is a burden on my career also. Im deciding to face my fears becasue of my girlfriend in FL she had the surgery done in May and OMG what a a transformation from then to now!!! Im so jelous of her!! She so hot and sexy now, her and her hubbys relationship is like the fourt of the july she goes to clubs and wears all the hottest outfits. I want that confidence so bad!!! I hate it when Im having bedroom time with my man, anything with my stomach grosses me out!!! He maybe not catch it but it totally ruins the mood for me mentally and that ruins it all for most females in that department. My weight god it holds me back in so much!!! I need to let it go so I can let go and free my self!!! Now to list my fears of this if it happens: 1 Just it being surgery in general never had it b4. 2 Pain, Im tough and can handle alot of it but how much dose this bring. 3 Scars! How noticle are they? Do they shrink as we lose weight, dose mederma scar softner help it? 4 lose skin, ive yo yoed for so long! 5 will my portions be majorly noticable for those that dont know i have this!

fitflab25

fitflab25

Sign in to follow this  

PatchAid Vitamin Patches

×