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A journey of high hopes and big dreams

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Did I know enough?

I started this journal today as I read others on this site. I'm amazed at how different the surgery is performed and how informed the people are about it. So many people have discussed differences in diets, differences in bands and fills. It makes me wonder if I did enough before hand to really understand what was going to happen to me. Well, that doesn't matter now, I'm in for the win!   I was banded on 11/28/07. I'd love to say that's my new birthday but I can't. I will say that it is a new beginning. Were does it start? 3rd grade, 5th grade, 28 years ago.....is the first time I remember being fat. It's time for this to end. This is it!   Why I had the band.....   1. I want energy....Tired of being tired..... 2. I want to play with my kids, on the floor and outside 3. I want to play with my husband and not fear him squeezing a fat roll 4. I want to buy clothes and like the way I look in them 5. I want to be a good example for my children and family 6. I want to put on pantyhose and not be disguisted 7. I want to not have to look at a chair and wonder if it will hold me 8. I want to not wonder if I'm the biggest person in the room 9. I want to slide into a car and not plop down 10. I want to jog 11. I want to buy sexy underwear 12. I want to go down to my basement without thinking about the exertion it takes to come back up. 13. I want to know that I'm fat and not lazy.......for sure. 14. I want someone to look twice as they pass me or even get hit on! even though I would never accept........just the thrill. 15. I want to go to any store and shop. 16. I want to BE HEALTHY....no prescriptions. 17. I want to DANCE like no one is watching.   I'm 1 week post-op and have definitely felt better. In one week, I had surgery, a yeast infection (from antibiotics), a urinary tract infection and am having trouble expending all my lung capacity (not serious). But I feel better than I did a week ago. I'm ALERT for one. I have some energy. WOW! I never new how much time and energy I let food steal from me.   Speaking of food---this is horrible. I still have a 75% desire for something to chew. This liquid diet is killing me. I'm stronger than I thought but each day its a fight to not break down.   I had a bowel movement on Monday but not Tuesday. I'm praying for one today. That's a sure sign that things are getting better in my mind. I protective of my stomack so I'm walking slumped over a little. My children notice and I think are somewhat worried but I think I'm putting up a pretty good front.   I look forward to exercising. I think Saturday is the first day I'll try (10 days post op)   Oh, how could I forget my home scale says 288.5. If that's true, it means I've lost about 14 pounds in two weeks. I LOVE IT.
MichelleB

MichelleB

4
 

I can't help myself

Okay, I'm 1 week postop today and I had chicken noodle soup and mashed potatoes for dinner. I had to have something to chew. Its 4 hours later and no side effects yet. Just praying I'm not messing up.
MichelleB

MichelleB

1
 

I'm amazed

It is absolutely amazing to me how good I feel. I've lost 18 pounds and I feel good, really good. I feel as if I'm walking straighter. I'm 75% addiction free. I drove past a McDonalds and it wasn't calling my name. My pants were baggy. I starting to like the way I look again---amazing. I am so anxious for my strips to fall away from my stomach. I want to exercise and get into that routine. Prayerfully on tomorrow I can work the time to do it daily. I really have been given a new chance.
MichelleB

MichelleB

2
 

Gooder and Gooder

Today is exactly 1 month from my surgery date and I am down 26 pounds. I weigh 278 and honestly haven't been here in at least 3 years maybe longer. I know how ridiculous this sounds but if I had known losing 26 pounds made you feel this good I would have done it a lot sooner (as if I could). What I do realize is that for me it was at the right time and for the right reasons. Christmas was wonderful. I ate a little of everything (very little) and stopped. I couldn't believe that. I stopped not because I was sick but because my body just said enough and I LISTENED. For the first time in my life I am understanding what satisfied means and not just finishing because it tastes so good. Food is not constantly on my mind. I get my occasional fix from Italian Ice 130 calories each but Protein drinks (Naked Brand) has really been my lifesaver. I'm so glad I did this. Thank God for the Band.
MichelleB

MichelleB

1
 

Out with my sisters

Went out tonight to Cheddars with my mom and sisters. I ate 4 tablespoons of spinach and cheese dip. It was delicious and I chewed and chewed and chewed. I'm at the end of the liquids stage but I needed to eat something. Today was a good day.
MichelleB

MichelleB

1
 

Today is a great day!

It can't be anything other than God's Grace that would have allowed me to feel so great considersing the fact that 1 week ago today, I was feeling miserable, almost depressed. Then I was 3 days postop and mourning food. Today, I am 10 days postop and feeling pretty darn good. I got a good haircut, went walking for 30 minutes at 2.6 mph at the Y and went to see a movie with my kids called Enchanted. It was about Happily Ever After and believe me it was perfect timing. Now, while at the movies I ate 12 Tortillia Chips with cheese. I chewed very slow but I ate it. I'm proud because I didn't have to eat the whole thing, I left half and my mind stopped me not my body. I'm 5% worried about eating it because I'm only suppossed to be on mushy. But I did chew real slow. Who knows? God Bless Me.
MichelleB

MichelleB

1
 

Wow.

Today, I felt good about how I looked. Wow, I've only lost 18 pounds but I stood taller and didn't feel a gut hanging over. I am anxious and excited about the years ahead. Dear Lord please help me to do this thing right. I need you.
MichelleB

MichelleB

1
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