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Heavy in the Heartland

A blog by HeavyHeartland

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My Journey to and through Lapband Surgery

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Fill Three for Me

The last time I saw my doctor, I got yelled at (figuratively) for not measuring my food. Measuring food is such a non-natural thing. It's so tough to go out to dinner, order a nice meal, and then whip out a measuring cup. How embarassing. More embarassing, however, would be going back to the doctor's office without the information they are requesting. The doctor told me for my next fill, it is imperative that they know how much I can eat. I should measure this by eating 1/4 cup of meat, 1/4 of veggies, and continuing this until I am full. So, this weekend, that is what I did. One night I had chicken and green beans, another night I had meatballs and sweet potatoes. Currently I can eat somewhere between 1 1/2 cups and 2 cups of food. The other thing they always want to know is how long do I stay full; the answer is somewhere between 2 and 3 hours. Another thing I've learned is that if it's not on "the plan" I should shut up about it. I've been eating protein bars for breakfast. Last time my doctor said that was no good; I should be drinking protein drinks instead. The two are identical in protein levels, but the bars are half the price. I'm still eating the bars, but if they ask today, I've been drinking the drinks. Shhh, don't tell. Ah yes, today -- Fill #3. Today is my last free fill, according to their timeline (90 days), so I'm hoping this one is good. I suspect the reason they've been dragging their feet and just filling me up a little at a time is so that they can get one or two paid fills out of me after I've exceeded the 90 day grace period. Hopefully I can get enough liquid in my band today to last me for a long time.

HeavyHeartland

March 11, 2008

1

ReFill

After over a month at 4.5cc in my 14cc band, I had fill #2 a couple of days ago. They added 2 more cc's of fluid, bringing me to 6.5cc. I showed up to my doctor's appointment pretty mad and frustrated. Right now, it seems like I went through this surgery for nothing. Although I've lost a little over 50 pounds, none of it can be attributed to the lapband surgery. The majority of my weight loss came from the strict liquid diet I was on for several weeks. When you go from eating fast food and buffets 2-3 times a day to a strict liquid diet, you're going to lose weight! Between my first post-surgery meeting and my first fill appointment, I actually put on a couple of pounds. All of a sudden, I began to panic. I went through all of this and now I'm putting on weight? I wasn't happy about it and neither was my doctor. I don't take criticism too well. In the office I just sat and nodded. I decided I was *NOT* going to go through that again, so about three weeks ago I signed up at our work gym. My employer said they would pay for my membership, and the gym is next to the building I work in, so there's really no reason not to be going. I had a co-worker show me some simple weight training exercises which I've been doing 3 days a week, and I've been walking on the treadmill 2 days a week for 30 mins, and 3 days a week (the days I also do the weight training) for 15-20 mins. Since my first fill I had put on another five pounds, but in two weeks of going to the gym I lost 13, which put me 8 down since my last doctor's visit. The reason I got mad at the doctor's office was because I knew they were going to say something like, "see? The band's working!" The fact is, the band is NOT working! I'm not losing any weight due to this stupid lapband, I'm losing weight because I'm exercising!!! Surprisingly, my doctor's appointment didn't go that way at all. They were genuinely shocked that I had lost weight. "Most patients put on weight during this period," they said. I talked with the nurse about my frustrations and she said that everything I was feeling was normal. She said at this point I should have very little restriction. The only point of contention we had was about measuring food. They kept asking me how much food could I eat and my response was, "as much as I could eat before the surgery." Apparently, that's not the right answer. They keep saying I should be measuring out my meals (1/2 a cup, starting with 1/4 a cup of meat followed by 1/4 of a cup of veggies, continuing until I'm full). I can't imagine doing that when I can eat an 8oz steak with veggies, and everything else. Plus, I really don't understand how you weigh breakfast burritos and whatnot a 1/4 cup at a time. Do you cut it up and stuff it in a cup? I guess I don't get it. Anyway ... at 6.5cc I am starting to feel some restriction. This morning I had a couple of scrambled eggs, and I feel full. The full feeling is not like before, like on Thanksgiving. On Thanksgiving, my belly used to get full. Now when I get full, my chest gets tight. Before, when I was full, it felt GOOD. Now, being full doesn't particularly feel good. I stop eating because it's uncomfortable now. I guess either way works, one just feels a lot better. I have another fill appointment in a week and a half, so I'm going to hit the gym hard until then and try to go in with another significant loss.

HeavyHeartland

March 2, 2008

1

Nothing

I was supposed to go back and have my band filled tighter three weeks ago. Unfortunately, I had to travel out of town that week, and I've been in meetings the past two weeks which has prevented me from getting out of the office. I'm scheduled for a fill the week after next. With a 14cc band and a 4.5cc fill, I can feel absolutely no restriction. In fact, over the past few weeks, I've started eating things that should be clogging up my band, and they're not. All the things that my wife (who is also banded) can not eat -- bread, rice, tortillas, doughnuts -- I've had no problem getting down. I'm pretty disappointed in the whole thing right now. I have a stomach full of scars and a band inside me that's not doing anything. The doctor said he would like to see me lose weight before the next visit, but with the band not doing anything at all, I'm trying to lose weight through diet and exercise -- two things that weren't going so well for me BEFORE the surgery, which is why I HAD the surgery. Right now I feel like I had the surgery and went through everything for nothing. Maybe if and when I start to feel restriction, I'll change my mind. :thumbup:

HeavyHeartland

February 17, 2008

1

No Restriction. At All.

I got my first fill last week and I feel ... nothing. I mean, I can eat almost as much as I could before the surgery. Not quite, but almost. My wife and I went to Golden Corral for lunch the other day and I had a huge salad, a bowl of soup, and a plate full of veggies and Chicken. The types of food I ate weren't terrible, but all this talk of only eating 2oz of meat? Not yet. I almost wish I could experience PB or clogging just so I would know what it felt like. I'm currently at 4.5 on a 14cc band and I definitely need some more juice.

HeavyHeartland

January 24, 2008

1

Dr. Fill

Yesterday, January 16th, I had my first band fill. Over the past two weeks, I've put on five pounds.The doctor asked how that happened; I told him it was pretty easy. "I switched back to real food and I quick walking!" He wasn't thrilled with that answer. He asked how much restriction I was feeling and I told him none. It's true. Over the past couple of weeks I've been able to eat everything I've tried. In my 14cc band, I got a 4.5cc fill to start with. I can feel a bit of restriction now, but it's not "tight." I'm supposed to do liquids for 24 hours and I did that with no problem. For lunch I had some soup with beans and ham in it and it went down fine. Tonight for dinner I'll try something with a bit more substance to see how that goes. The band fill procedure itself was a non-issue. You get a shot in your belly, but that's it. It doesn't hurt any more (or less) than a regular shot. The doctor said I should try eating regular food this weekend and, if I'm still not feeling restriction, to call him and he'll add some more fluid to my band next week. We'll see how this weekend goes. The whole point of lapband surgery is to have restriction and feel full on less food. So far, that hasn't really happened.

HeavyHeartland

January 17, 2008

1

Holding Pattern

For about three months in the mid 1990s, my doctor put me on Fen-Phen, the miracle weight loss drug. For me, the drugs curbed my appetite and helped me rapidly lose weight. My guess is, the pills were 50% appetite supressant and 50% speed. The only reason I mention Fen-Phen is, I was losing weight without trying. I continued to eat fast food and buffets several times a week and I still lost weight. Then a bunch of people reported heart problems and the drug was pulled off the market. Bye bye, Fen-Phen. Bye bye, weight loss. For the first month after I had lapband surgery, I lost weight like crazy. 50 pounds, in fact. Sure, most of that was due to the crazy liquid/soft diets, but still, weight lost is weight lost, right? I did minimal exercise, stayed full, and continued to lose weight. Since moving to regular food, my weight loss has tapered off and, over the past week, it has all but stopped. Food wise, I am almost back to my old eating habits. Well, that's not true -- I'm eating better, but I'm still eating a lot of food. Tonight I'm setting my old treadmill back up to get back on track. I want to lose a few more pounds before my band fill next week. Although I haven't gained any weight, I guess this is just a reminder that the weight's not going to lose itself; I'm going to have to work to get it off.

HeavyHeartland

January 11, 2008

3

Two Weeks/Four Weeks

Last week I went to my "2 Week Follow Up Appointment" , which for some reason, they scheduled four weeks after my surgery. The first thing you do is weigh you, and the nurse was shocked to see I'd lost 50 pounds. Then I told her it had really been four weeks. She was still happy about the weight loss, but less scared. Once I was back in the room another nurse came in and checked my surgical scars. "These look great for only two weeks!" she said. Actually, it's been four weeks, I explained to her. At one point she asked me why they scheduled my "2 Week Follow Up Appointment" at four weeks and I didn't have an answer. I have no idea! As I was leaving, they scheduled my first band fill. The nurse at the window said they would schedule it in four weeks, which would be six weeks after surgery. I told her that I was four weeks out. She then asked me why I had my "2 Week Follow Up Appointment" at four weeks. Again, I didn't know what to say. After confirming my surgery date in the computer, she changed my band fill for two weeks away -- January 16th, I believe was the date.

HeavyHeartland

January 4, 2008

4

Christmas Mush

Every year for Christmas, my wife and I invite our families over for Christmas Eve and we all exchange presents, talk, but most importantly, eat. That last word made me really nervous this year for a few of reasons. One, the week of Christmas, I was still on mushy food. Two, I know I'm not supposed to be eating sweets (even if they're mushy). And three, I don't want to ruin other people's holidays just because I can't eat, you know? I'm the one who had lapband surgery, not them. And you know what? For the most part, I worried over nothing. This year a lot of people made sugar-free deserts. My wife made a sugar-free peanut butter pie that was terrific! Someone brought a bean dip with cheese and salsa that I mixed together and ate with a spoon. I even had a couple of Christmas cookies that the kids made (don't tell Santa). Instead of two or three plates of food, I only had one, and instead of half a two-liter of Diet Coke, I had water. And you know what? Everybody still had a good time. Everybody ate what they wanted to eat and no one made a big deal out of what I was having. To tell the truth, everyone was walking around so much with their plates that I'm not sure anyone even noticed, or cared. I think people (co-workers and family) are losing interest in what I eat on a day to day basis, which is pressure off of me. I didn't have lapband surgery to become the center of attention. Quite the opposite, actually.

HeavyHeartland

January 4, 2008

1

Death by Shrimp

Last night was my mother-in-law's 60th birthday party, which they had at a local steak house. As I am just starting my fourth week (soft foods) so I knew steak was out. The restaurant's menu was really limited -- although in their defense, it IS a steak house. Pretty much my options were steak, steak, and more steak. They had no soup (my primary choice when eating out right now) and no mashed potatoes (my backup plan). Near the bottom of the menu I found their very small seafood selection; shrimp, or salmon. I remember reading or hearing that shrimp qualifies as a soft food, so that's what I ordered. After choosing the shrimp, the waitress wanted to know what side items I wanted. The shrimp came with rice (which I couldn't eat) and I had my choice of a baked potato (can't have), french fries (can't have), or green beans (maybe). I picked green beans. Then the waitress wanted to know what kind of salad I wanted. Finally, I levelled with her. "Look, I can only eat soft foods or liquids right now. Do you have mashed potatoes, or soup maybe?" No, of course not. And what options did she give me? I could sub the rice for green beans, and the salad for more green beans. I couldn't imagine eating three servings of green beans so I told her I would just pass on the salad. Eventually dinner came and I got my shrimp, green beans, rice and toast. The rice was easy enough to avoid and I gave the toast away to my son. That left me with the shrimp and the green beans. I popped the first shrimp into my mouth and -- WOW -- it was terrific! I barely chewed the first one and popped a second one into my mouth. Then I had a few bites of green beans. And then I felt it; the green beans weren't going down. They were sitting there in my throat. Oh, SHIT. My first meal in public, and I was going to puke. I got up with a panicked look and quickly walked outside. Walking helped, apparently. When I got outside, I felt the shrimp slide down, followed by the green beans. Thank goodness! I really wasn't looking forward to puking in the restaurant's parking lot. I returned to the table and everyone was concerned. I told them everything was fine, something just didn't go down the right way. I can tell you what, I chewed the HELL out of the rest of that shrimp. I mean, I chewed them until they were little tiny shrimpy bits. I think I made four bites out of each one, and then chewed those tiny bites to bits. I've been able to put down lots and lots of liquid and pureed foods. I was under the impression that my band was not doing anything for me currently. Last night, I was proved wrong!

HeavyHeartland

December 24, 2007

2

Rush the Mush

Last week was supposed to be pureed foods, but I ended up doing liquids most of the week before moving to mushies a few days early. Let's face it, getting pureed food is pretty difficult while travelling on the road, but mushies are a little easier to come by. While probably not the greatest choices, I had some mashed potatoes from KFC and an order of pintos and cheese (mushed beans with cheese on top) from Taco Bell. And man oh man did they taste good compared to the steady stream of protein drinks I've been gulping down over the past 20 days. I've noticed that with soft foods, I can eat way more than I expected to be able to. This morning I had two scrambled eggs and was barely full. For lunch I had a serving of mashed potatoes, followed by some leftover egg from breakfast. It was tough to cheat on the liquids (everything was measured), but when it comes to solids it seems like, at least right now, eating too much is easy to do. My first official follow up meeting with my doctor is December 28th (next Friday). I suspect at that time he'll schedule a fill for me. Then, things will begin to kick in.

HeavyHeartland

December 22, 2007

2

Spending Week 3 on the road

I'm on the road this week for work. I'm also on Week 3 of my post-op diet. Weeks 1 and 2 were liquids only -- Week 3 was supposed to be "pureed foods." After two weeks of protein drinks, Jell-O and pudding I was really looking forward to pureed foods, but it turns out, it's pretty hard to eat pureed foods while you're on the road. Have you ever tried ordering baby food or mashed bananas from a drive-thru? Not simple. I stopped in a convenient store during my road trip in search of something to eat. Nothing. I couldn't even find skim or low fat milk there. Oh well. I've got plenty of powdered goods to last me throughout the week, so I guess I'll just keep on doing that for the time being. Boy, I sure was looking forward to those pureed foods.

HeavyHeartland

December 18, 2007

1

Tired of Sweets

My doctor put me on a four-week post-op diet. Weeks 1 and 2 are a liquid only diet. Week 3 consists of pureed foods, and Week 4 consists of soft foods. Although technically the end of my second week isn't until next Tuesday, I'm shaving a couple of days off the two week period and calling Sunday the last day of Week 2. I'll be starting Week 3 on Monday. The New Dimensions protein variety packs contain seven packs. Six of them are what I'd call desserts: vanilla, strawberry, chocolate, hot chocolate, chocolate pudding, etc. Only one of them, Cream of Chicken, isn't. My mid-day snacks are Cookies and Cream protein mixes. All of this sounded great pre-surgery, but let me tell you, eating four or five desserts a day for two weeks gets old. Fast. I've bought some of that flavorless protein power and have been dumping it into cans of Cream of (Whatever) soup -- Cream of Chicken, Cream of Mushroom, Cream of Celery, etc. I never thought something like Cream of Celery soup would taste so good to me, but it sure is a nice break from all the sweet drinks. Next time around, I'll be buying some non-sweet drinks and mixes. I can't remember if I mentioned it here in the blog or not, but my daily protein goal is 115g, which basically means eating five times a day. By late in the evening I'm not even hungry and I'm having to force down these shakes, but I'm trying to adhere to doctor's orders. In other news, my shoulder pain is almost gone completely now. Occasionally it'll still flare up, but over the past 3 days the worst it's got is maybe a 2 out of 10. Sure beats the 10 out of 10s I was having just a few days ago.

HeavyHeartland

December 14, 2007

2

Stupid Shoulder Pain

I'm on day six of recovery. I have almost no stomach pain at all. My stiches and incisions don't bother me in the least. What I AM experiencing, however, is extremely painful shoulder pain. According to Google and the myriad of websites I've read over the past few days, shoulder pain is a very common side effect of any type of laproscopic surgery. Apparently during laproscopic surgery, doctors "balloon" their patients full of carbon dioxide gas in order to give themselves more working room. One theory states that the gas rises up to the shoulder area, causing the pain. Another theory states that the nerves that run to the shoulder are located near where the incisions are made, and the gas in that area is pressing on the nerves, which causes the pain in your shoulder. I don't know which is true, but I can tell you it freakin' hurts. My shoulder has hurt 10x more than any other part of my surgical experience. Both through Google and this website, several people have offered various cures. I will pass them along to you. Gas-X - the most common theory is that this pain is caused by excess gas remaining in your system. By taking some chewable Gas-X pills, you can get the gas out. Plus, it gives you something to blame your loud farts on. The Gas-X did seem to relieve some of my stomach pressure, but didn't help the shoulder situation. Peppermint Tea - Another common remedy is drinking peppermint tea. I tried it. Didn't do anything for me, but it tastes good so nothing really loss in trying it. Heating Pad/Icy Hot - I don't know if a heating pad is supposed to rid you of shoulder pain, but it sure felt good to sleep on one the past couple of nights. Didn't cure the problem, but did seem to alleviate the pain temporarily. Pooping - After giving up hope, I called my doctor. His first question was, "when was your last bowel movement?" I've only had one in the past six days. Thinking he might have been on to something, I drank some Milk of Magnesia. Without getting graphic, let's just say that stuff does what it advertises it does. The theory here is that the colon is pressing on those same swolen nerves, which the brain registers as shoulder pain. This did seem to help, and I haven't had much pain today. If you have any other wisdom to add to the list, please do.

HeavyHeartland

December 9, 2007

3

Recovery: Days 1-3

I had lapband surgery on Monday. Today's Thursday, so I thought I would type up a few notes about how I've been feeling and how recovery has gone so far. The reason for these entries are two-fold; one, in a year from now I'm looking forward to going back and reading some of these older entries, and two, for anyone considering the surgery or about to have it, I thought I would share what I've gone through you you'll know what to expect. Day 1, Post-Op (Tuesday) It's been 25 years since I've had surgery (and I'm only 34) so I really don't remember what the last one was like. Right now, my torso is sore. I'm sore on the inside and the outside. I can feel that my stomach inside is sore, but I can also feel all my stitches. They don't hurt that much, but they feel tight. When I move around, I'm aware of them. I ended up taking a couple of naps throughout the day simply to rest. I've taken two doses of Loritab to get me through the day. On a scale of 1 to 10 I would say the most I've felt is a 5 or 6. After the Loritab, things go down to a 1 or maybe even a 0. Today I wore a t-shirt, pajama bottoms, and slip on shoes. I didn't wear socks because I couldn't put them on (too sore to bend over). Most of the day was spent hanging around the house, either sitting in my rocker, sitting at the computer, or lying in bed. The stitches "pull" every time I stand up and I'm afraid to do too much. They also felt tight during the ride home from the hospital; a coat held over my tummy helped the bouncing feel better. Day 2, Post-Op (Wednesday) Feeling much better. In fact, went shopping with my dad after taking a dose of Loritab. Walked around Toys R Us for 20-30 minutes, doing some Christmas shopping. Was able to get in to and out of his truck easily. Came home, rested a bit on the computer. Later, went for a ride with the wife to pick up the son at school, followed by a quick trip by work to say "hi" to everyone. After that tour, I felt like I had overdone it. I was tired and my shoulder was really aching. I've heard various stories about shoulder pain related to this surgery (everything from nerves to anesthesia), but hopefully that will get better soon. To be honest, my shoulder is the only thing that really hurts constantly at this point. I can feel my stitches if I twist, turn or bend the wrong way, but I'm already starting to forget about them. Day 3, Post-Op (Thursday) The wife went back to work today, so it's just been me around the house. Watched a couple of movies, made myself some soup, and just having a good time in general. I'm going back to picking up the boy from school today and I don't see any problems with driving. I took my first full shower since coming home from the hospital and it felt great. I could have taken one earlier but I didn't feel comfortable touching the stitches -- not pain, just worry. Everything went fine and I scrubbed from head to toe. I was even able to bend over and get the shampoo from the floor. After the shower, I was even able to put socks on, so there! I wouldn't want to run a marathon at this point, but if I had to return to my desk job tomorrow I'd be okay. I'm still a little sore around the edges and my shoulder still hurts, but for the most part I'd say I'm ... oh, 75% back to normal. Maybe 80%. I feel pretty good.

HeavyHeartland

December 6, 2007

1

Surgery Summary

I made it! My lapband surgery was a success, and I'm alive and doing well. Thanks to everyone who offered me even the slightest amount of support during this time. The phone calls, e-mails and blog comments were all very kind. Thank you all very much. My adventure began Monday morning with a 7:15am check-in at the hospital. I had blood work (poorly) drawn by a girl barely old enough to drive. From there it was off to the surgery check-in room, where I was soon met by my wife, and shortly after, my mother. After changing out of my street clothes and into my hospital gown, I was told my surgery would take place at 8:45am. I had an IV hooked up. Somewhere around this time my dad showed up as well. My parents and wife chatted about different topics while I generally stared off into space. It was hard to think about anything specific, but I was sure glad to be surrounded by familiar faces and voices. Some of the others waiting in the surgery area were alone, which seemed really sad to me. As 8:45am rolled around, a nurse walked by to inform us that the doctor was running at least 90 minutes behind, which eventually turned into 120 minutes. The hospital bed I was lying on was not met for long-term occupancy, and before long my tailbone was aching something fierce. Upon entering the hospital I was given a wrist tag with my name, surgery information and a bar code printed on it. When they finally came to get me for surgery, they checked the tag and found it was wrong. Boy did that cause me to momentarily panic. The last thing I wanted to do was wake up missing a leg – or, worse yet, a woman! The tag confusion was quickly rectified, and shortly thereafter I was en route to the pre-op waiting room. There, I met the anesthesiologist. We went over what I would see and feel and experience. The nurse was also nice. From there, I parted ways with the family and began the ride back to the operating room. Once there, I slid from the bed I'd been riding on to the operating table. As the anesthesiologist approached I asked him how long it took for the anesthesia to kick in. He said, “Watch this.” When I cracked open my eye a split second later I was in the recovery room with a nurse sitting next to me. “You're surgery's over, everything went fine,” she said. “Jesus, is that you?” I asked. “No, I'm a nurse,” she replied. “Well, that's good news,” I said, and closed my eyes again. The entire procedure took around 30 minutes, with another 30 or so in recovery. From there I was whisked into one of the hospital's private rooms. It wasn't as nice as my wife's room was when she had her surgery, but it was adequate. They must've really pumped me full of anesthesia, as I nodded off and on between noon and 4pm or so. During a lot of that time I was awake but with my eyes closed. I could hear the conversations around me but it took too much effort to respond to them. Instead I listened, and rested. Around 4:30 or so one of the nurses came around and said that the more I moved around the better off I would be, so I made my way out of the hospital bed and into one of the chairs within the room. From there I made a few phone calls, watched America's Funniest Home Videos on the television, and just rested in general. My mom stuck around for a bit while my wife went to go pick up the kids from school. Nothing too exciting there. My wife did bring the kids by to see me for a few minutes. I was a bit nervous about them bumping into my stitches or something but they were extremely calm the entire visit. Around the time they arrived my mom went home. The wife and the kids only stayed for about ten minutes and then they too left. About an hour later, dinner was served, consisting of chicken broth, diluted apple juice, decaf tea, decaf coffee, and diet Jell-O; 30 milliliters every 30 minutes. I couldn't come close to finishing it. One of the male nurses came by and mentioned the Monday Night Football game. I flipped the game on and ended up watching the first half while sitting in the chair and the second half while lying in bed. I think the game ended shortly before ten o'clock, which seemed like a good time for bed. My wife came back up to the hospital around 10pm to stay the night. It was really comforting to have her there. She helped with lots of little things like IV tubes getting tangled and helping me get water. It is nice to have someone by your side during times like that. Tuesday morning went just as quickly. Shortly after the new day's nurses came by to introduce themselves, my surgeon's assistant came by to release me around 8:30am. Breakfast was served – another tray just like the first, with yellow Jell-O taking the place of red. I ate what I could. Through the magic of Loritab, I was feeling well enough this morning to take a shower on my own. There is very little pain, per se; a bit of an upset and bruised stomach, and six tiny incisions, all with two or three staples each (they're all covered in tape still, so I don't know exact sizes yet). By 10am my wife and my dad had arrived. I made the honorary ride outside in a sleek wheelchair. Dad drove my truck home and I rode in the wife's van. For the next two weeks I'm on a liquids-only diet. That's followed by two weeks of soft foods, before returning to normal grub (smaller portions, of course). I took the entire week off so I'll be relaxing around the house, most likely with either a joystick or a keyboard in my hand. I'm looking forward to a new tomorrow.

HeavyHeartland

December 6, 2007

2

Tomorrow

Well, tomorrow's the big day. In (looking at the clock) sixteen hours I will be checking into the hospital. Of course, like anyone going in for elective surgery, I'm having second thoughts. I've done so well on the pre-op diet (-20 lbs) that it's easy to think, "well gosh, maybe I can just keep eating like this and losing weight!" The reality (as we all know) is, that's pretty unlikely. Plus, even though I'm losing weight, I'm starving, and we all know diets where you feel hungry never last. It will be nice to be able to eat a small meal and feel full, or even satisfied. That's what I'm looking forward to. In a minute I'm going to go through my packet of information one last time, making sure I won't (or haven't) broken any of the pre-surgery rules. The last thing I need is surgical complications because I didn't read something. Tomorrow's the big day. Wish me luck.

HeavyHeartland

December 2, 2007

3

Day Two of Liquids

Yesterday I started phase two of the pre-op diet -- liquids. I am currently having six shakes a day. I'm having meal replacements for breakfast, lunch and dinner, and meal suppliments around 10am, 3pm, and 9pm. The meal replacements have 27g of protein, and the meal suppliments have 23g. That puts me well over my daily goal of 115g of protein. It also puts me at just under 1,000 calories a day. How do I feel? To be honest -- bored. To me, meals were such an integral part of the day. For example, my wife and I work for the same company and generally have lunch together. Busy with kids before and after work, sometimes lunchtime is the only hour of the day we get together without being surrounded by general chaos. In the past we'd go somewhere, have lunch together for an hour, and talk like adults. This past week, lunch has gone like this. GULP. Ok, shake's gone, see ya. Everytime I walk by the kitchen or smell food I instinctly start looking around. I'm like a big fat rat, searching for a morsel of food to nibble on. I have to remind myself of the prize at the end of the mouse maze ... er, tunnel. Just as I feared, my friends and co-workers that I normally saw during mealtimes have been scarce since I started the pre-op diet. Who wants to sit around and watch a fat ass drink a small shake and then stare at someone else's plate of food, drooling? I'm sure I wouldn't. Hopefully a few weeks after surgery I'll be able to start tagging along during mealtime, even if I only have a smidgen of what they're eating. I only want to lose weight, not my friends.

HeavyHeartland

December 1, 2007

4

Surprise!

Yesterday was full of surprises! The first surprise came when the doctor's office called late yesterday afternoon and wanted to know if it would be possible to bump my surgery up a day, from Tuesday, December 4th to Monday, December 3rd. I said sure. Then they dropped the other hammer on me. "That means your liquid diet starts tomorrow morning." It's funny how your perspective changes. Before I started the pre-op diet, I was dying to have a few good meals. Now that I'm moving to liquids, all I wanted was to eat that last peanut butter and chocolate protein bar I'd been saving. I had it late last night before bed. It was delicious. Today, I moved into the realm of liquids-only. In a way, things are easier. When you're doing both liquids and food, the liquids obviously seem inferior to the food. The meals with 4oz of meat are the "good" meals; the ones that consist solely of powdered drinks are the "not so good" ones. Once you've moved to liquids-only, every meal's the same. Well, some are vanilla, some are chocolate, and some are cream of chicken, but who's counting? I made an Excel spreadsheet to keep track of my protein and calories. During the liquid phase, I'm getting 990 calories. Before I started any of this I'm guessing I was putting down 4,000-5,000 calories a day. That explains the final surprise. As of today, I'm already down 15 pounds. The journey has begun ...

HeavyHeartland

November 30, 2007

1

The Five Stages of Grief

Today, on day four of my 10-day pre-op diet, I found myself pretty content after lunch. I wasn't stuffed, but I didn't have the hunger pangs like I've had the past couple of days. (In all fairness, I'm currently eating somewhere between 1/3 and 1/4 of the amount of calories I was eating before.) And so, right after lunch, I got this crazy idea in my head. I could do this forever. Yeah, that's it! Who needs surgery? I could just stay on this diet forever, do some exercise, and lose the weight that way! Yeah, right. File that under, "never going to happen." If I were capable of doing that I already would have, I told myself. That whole "making deals" thing sounded familiar to me, so I did a little Googling and came up with Kübler-Ross' Five Stages of Grief. According to the Wikipedia entry, the five stages of grief are: Denial: The initial stage: "It can't be happening." Anger: "Why ME? It's not fair!" (either referring to God, oneself, or anybody perceived, rightly or wrongly, as "responsible") Bargaining: "Just let me live to see my child(ren) graduate." Depression: "I'm so sad, why bother with anything?" Acceptance: "It's going to be OK." The entry makes a couple of interesting points. One is that these stages can be applied to any form of catastrophic personal loss or significant personal change. The other thing I found interesting was that these steps do not necessarily come in order, nor are they all experienced by all patients, though she stated a person will always experience at least two. I suspect my feelings at lunch today were an attempt at bargaining. ("I'll do better next time, honest!") I'm sure all of us will go through some or all of these stages. I've been in denial about my weight and my health for some time now, so I can mark that one off the list. I don't know that I've felt angry, per se, but depression is another one I can claim. And, now that I'm committed to having the surgery, maybe I can claim acceptance as well. You can read the whole article here.

HeavyHeartland

November 27, 2007

1

Secrets -- Talking about Surgery

December 4th, I'm having lapband surgery. Sshhh, don't tell anyone. It's a secret. There seems to be a lot of different thoughts as to whether you should announce you are having lapband surgery or not. I'm a weird type of guy. I love blogging and talking about my life to the world, but when it comes to really personal thoughts, I tend to keep those to myself. When I made the committment to have lapband surgery, for six weeks, the only person I told was my wife. It was only after people began asking questions like, "why have you been going to the doctor so often?" and, "why are you only having liquids?" that I had to finally spill the beans. Before my wife's surgery last March, she announced her impending operation from the highest hilltops. She let everyone around her know that she was having lapband surgery. She was proud to have the surgery. She wanted everyone to know she was taking charge of her life and making a decision that would help put her body on the right track. I, on the other hand, have tried to keep my upcoming surgery as quiet as possible. I am not proud to have the surgery. I feel embarassed about the surgery. I feel like I have failed at dieting and exercise. I feel like I cannot control my hunger like normal people. I guess I don't see the surgery as a positive thing, really. Don't get me wrong -- the outcome of the surgery will be awesome, I have no doubt about that. I know this surgery will put me too on the right path, and will kickstart a life of fitness that so far I have not known. But still, there's something about the surgery to me that symbolizes a lack of control in my personal life, and that's hard to admit. That's what is embarassing, I guess -- the fact that by having this surgery, I'm saying to the world, "I tried to lose weight on my own, and failed." Like many decisions related to weight loss and lapband surgery, the decision to talk about your surgery is a personal one. From personal experience I can tell you it's starting to get easier. I have found it easier to talk to people who have already had weightloss surgery, and trust me, once word gets out that you're having the surgery those people will come out of the woodwork. Even if you're not comfortable talking about the surgery with your friends, family members or co-workers, find other ways to express yourself. Blogs and forums work wonders, trust me. :mad:

HeavyHeartland

November 26, 2007

3

10 Day Diet Observation

During last week's diet consultation I was handed a piece of paper that detailed what I was allowed to eat during my pre-operation 10-day diet. A few ounces of meat here, a helping of vegetables there ... it all sounded okay until I realized the list covered what I was allowed to eat for an entire day -- I thought it was just for one meal! Okay, I didn't really think that, but prior to this diet I'm sure there have been many meals during which I have eaten more than I'm eating now in an entire day. Totalling up the food amounts, we're talking 8oz of food for lunch (split between meat and veggies), another 8oz for dinner, with some meal replacements and suppliments thrown in for good measure. Let's say we're talking a total of 24oz of food, or 3 cups. I can guarantee you that on many, many occasions I've eaten at least twice that in a sitting. I'm not talking about Thanksgiving here, I'm talking about a normal lunch, maybe at a Chinese buffet or something. Once you put a pencil to the numbers, it is amazing both how much I was eating, and how little one actually needs to "get by." Note I said "get by" -- not, "get stuffed." The most ironic thing about the 10-day diet so far is, the less you think about it, the better off you'll be. That being said, it's impossible NOT to think about it. For starters, I'm eating something every 2 to 3 hours. Breakfast at 8am, protein snack at 10am, lunch at noon, afternoon snack at 2pm, dinner around 5pm, another protein snack at 8pm ... not to mention a few sugar-free popcicle and jell-o snacks throughout the day. It's tough not to think about food when you're being forced to focus so intently on it. Yesterday, the first day of the diet, I did okay. Today, breakfast was tough. The wife and I took the kids to McDonald's this morning. My wife, who was banded earlier this year, had an order of scrambled eggs. My kids both had cinnamon rolls and chocolate milks. I had (drum roll) decaf coffee. Oh, and for dessert, I had a multi-vitamin, followed by a vitamin-c pill. And who says I don't know how to splurge? I already suspect eating "normally" (however normal a banded person eats) around friends and co-workers, especially in social settings, is going to be the hardest thing to tackle. I'm not sure how I'm going to react the first time everybody says, "hey let's go do Chinese!" before looking at me and saying, "oh, wait ..." The last thing I want to do is be someone else's burdon. I'm doing this surgery for me, not to affect anyone else's lifestyle. Alright, gotta run -- lime jell-o's a-callin'.

HeavyHeartland

November 25, 2007

1

Well, here I am ...

As I begin my 10-day pre-op diet before Lapband Surgery, I find myself thinking, "how did I get to this point?" I mean, it seems like most of the people around can either control what they eat, or can eat whatever they want and not gain weight. Why am I blessed with the ability to gain weight simply by looking at pictures of food, much less shoving it into my mouth? Throughout my childhood I was always heavy, but never obese. As a little kid I can remember always demanding to be one of the 'shirts' in a game of shirts vs. skins, or refusing to play. I can't remember anyone ever seeing me with my shirt off, except for my mom and my doctor (and neither of those were willingly). I grew up here in the heartland, where most things are available deep-friend and everything goes better with gravy (brown or white, your choice). Skinned knees were healed with cookies, and every major holiday involved seriously large meals -- sometimes more than one. I graduated high school in the early 90s at roughly 200 pounds. Quite frankly it was hard for me to track my weight after that, as I didn't own a scale that would weigh me. At a physical for a job I took a few years after high school, I weighed 260. In the late 90s at a doctor's appointment I weighed 327. These numbers stick in my head like bits of bad news. Many people remember where they were when Kennedy was killed or when the Space Shuttle exploded -- me, I remember the first time I topped 300 pounds. In January of 2006, I weighed myself at the health clinic at work and discovered I weighed a whopping 394 pounds. That year I and several co-workers had a weight loss league, and throughout the year I lost a total of 60 pounds. The victory was short-lived; we celebrated my win at Chili's, in fact. Did you know a Triple Play has 2,700 calories? I did, and didn't care. Over the past year I've 80% of the weight back on. My weight losses -- what few I've had -- have always followed this trend. All I can think about when dieting is the reward of a banana split waiting for me after its over. Sometimes, that's the motivation that keeps me going. Sick, I know. In March of 2007, my wife (who is also blessed with the lovely title of "morbidly obese") had lapband surgury. In the eight months since her surgery, she has lost 133 pounds. This of course piqued my interest. Here I am, starving half the time, exercising and still gaining weight while my wife eats, is full, exercises occasionally and is wasting away. How could I not be interested? Six weeks ago I attended a Lapband Seminar and I was sold. I've attended all the mandatory meetings (some of which I'll be blogging about as well) and started the pre-op diet. Mentally the surgery seems far off in the distance -- however, seeing as though I'm on the second day of my 10 day diet, logic dictates I'm only 8 days away. While everything up to this point has been talk, starting the diet is my first 'action' -- it feels like my first real step toward this life changing event. I'm looking forward to it. My starting pre-op weight is 388lbs, which is more than anyone in the NFL.

HeavyHeartland

November 25, 2007

1

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