For the most part I have a handle on my eating. I've been experimenting with more 'color' on my plate. Veggies and fruit.
I just wish my husband didn't like nuts so much. I want the nuts out of the house!!! I could just munch away while reading a book all afternoon.
Im working with a Health and Wellness Coach. Trying to get to the root of some of my unhealthy issues. Like why I regained every time I have dieted in the past. Setting some goals for diet and exercise. Learning to Love and Accept myself. Learning I am worth the hard work and the resulting 'body of my dreams'. It could be all a bunch of gobbley-gook but I want to give myself the best chance for success. I'm focusing alot of time, energy and $$ on this effort (the band and all).
I gave yoga another shot this morning. I'm glad I did it in my home. That sticky mat is, well sticky. I either had a wedgie or flashing a butt crack the whole time. I don't think I'm ready for a class yet.
75lbs gone 50lbs to go!!!
I went for my shin check up with the dermatologist today. She took off a "suspicious" bit of skin(and is sending it to the lab) and gave me a scrip for some cream to put on two other spots. Then she cut off one of my finger nails to send to the lab for a culture. What is up with that?
Back story is that I lost my daughter-in-law 5 years ago to Melanoma and my husband has been battling with skin cancers for about 10 years.
I don't need this now. I'm trying to focus on this band and getting the weight off and now this.
Jury duty!
I got placed on a jury. A BIG, ugly case.
I am not a happy camper. Im told it will last at least 4 weeks.
This will really put a crimp in my training schedule. I just ramped up to 3 times a week and I had a really good time slot. Now I will probably lose the time slot and I will have to train at night and on the weekend.
Not to mention stress eating. This will be a good test of my new habits.
On the bright side I got a new wash machine and dryer. I love new toys and Im easily amused. I sat and watched the washer (front loader w/ glass door) swish the clothes for about 15 minutes.
Ok Im off to watch the dryer now.
I have some stupid big scars. I don't know if this is just me or Dr's handy work. One is 2 3/4", two are 1" and three are 1/2".
Is that normal?
I've been thinking about taking up yoga. Nice gentle body work. Only thing is last time I tried my hands got so sweaty I slipped and almost broke my nose.
Or maybe a personal trainer.
I have an appointment with the Dr next week and maybe get a fill if the Dr thinks I'm really trying. I think it is interesting that some Dr hand out fills like candy and others like bestowing a knighthood.:confused2:
Im coming to a place I've seen before- I am within view of 200(currently 212). This seems to be one of my biggest hurdles. I've been working really hard at the gym since last Feb, when I started a 3 day a week "Team WeightlossTraining" which includes a half hour of nutrition a week. Last week I completed another Triathlon. Right now activity isn't a problem.
I sucked it up, made an appoingment and dragged a very supportive friend to the band Dr. in Feburary and it wasn't nearly as bad as I had thought it would be. I've been back twice since(2 fills) and have had a barium swallow to make sure the band/pouch was in good shape. The band is holding up its end of the bargin.
Im scared shitless that something will come along and derail me again.
Im glad I had the courage to write this blog in the first place, rereading some of the old entries was hard but I've also learned alot about myself.
Peace
A
I did a triathlon about 5 years ago. It was a great feeling!! So to that end...
I have signed up for a triathlon this summer.
I've decided that I need a focus regarding exercise. I might be crazy but I have to challenge myself and be accountable to something.
This is not the big IronMan type. It is the sprint length, not that I will be sprinting. 400meter swim/6mile bike/2mile run.
God, I hope I don't make a fool of myself.
I have a cold. I've been coughing up a lung. I can't help but wonder what a cold will be like with the band. I've read about pouches filling up with post nasal drip and coughing so hard it feels like its ripping the stitches of the port or possibly causing the band to slip. Cold medicine, will I be able to take whatever I need too?
Back to bed.
:sick
The up side is the scale went down.
I went to the fill appointment today. My regular Dr was out so I saw the PA. Wow what a difference. I always had a problem with my Dr telling me he was ok with my progress and not really giving me motivation to keep going. Well the PA didn't pull any punches. She quizzed me on my food choices and made suggestions on alternatives. She said she could give me a fill but didn't think it would help with the things or the way I am eating. It would probably just make me get stuck and have a unfill. I am just choosing foods too soft and not substantial enough to stick with me. And of course not making the best choice with high calorie stuff. She explained how having a glass of wine before a meal just relaxes the pouch enough that you don't feel the full signal and over eat. Duh? I always knew I eat more when I drink. Now I know why.
So it's back to the mental game. Remembering the why of doing this and figuring out the how.
I had an interesting talk with my trainer/nutritionist the other day. He wanted to measure me again to see my progress. I didn't want too. I tried to explain that I knew I was losing weight and inches because my clothes are fitting differently. He insisted that I needed to SEE the progress on paper. "Everyone wants to see their progress." So he measured away. For some reason I was disappointed in the results. My head thinks I should have lost more inches. I was really bummed. He was happy with the progress. I asked him if it was more important for him to be happy or me? Ya see I was happy with the progress as seen from the clothing standpoint. Like someone said here about wearing clothes that fit and seeing the proof that things are going well. Now I have these tape measure numbers in my head. They didn't mean anything to me until he made a big deal out of them. Yet I can't accept his judgment that the numbers are good. It really wrecked the workout that day. My head was somewhere else. He kept saying not to let it get to me. Ya easy for him.
I'm finally in a good place with this journey. I'm accepting that it will take me a while to get to a healthy weight. I'm working with the band. I'm getting into a groove with exercising. I've set a goal with the Triathlon. I've set a weight goal to be 200 by my anniversary (10/12). I'm actually allowing myself to believe this is working. I think my judgment is the best. But now someone tossed a wrench in the works.
Grrrr. It's so frustrating. :cool2:
Ok after my major whine-fest I'm back on track. Back to the trainer twice a week. I have an exercise focus again. Which seems to be the only way to keep my mind interested in moving the bod. I've entered the 2009 Muddy Buddy Ride & Run in Richmond VA. with my husband. He's not all that happy but he wants me to succeed so he's supporting me in my whim. I'm trying to keep food choices good and think I'm succeeding about half the time. Better than nothing. I have an appointment for a fill on Monday because I've been stupidly hungry most of the time.
Best of all I'm back in the game. :confused: Yay me!
Hi all.
I had a tiny fill today, but I know something is different. Maybe this will be the sweet spot. :wink2:
On the hunger front I'm actually fine. I make it between meals without getting unusually hungry. My problem is portion. I eat out a lot (work + it's just DH & I for dinner) EVERYTHING looks so good on the menu. I try to keep it to appetizer portion but even those can be large. Plus I'm talking while Im eating and before I know it everything on the plate is gone. Booze is also an issue. When I socialize I like to have my glass(es!) of wine. That calorie count can add up. Then a little nibble here or there and BANG!! the pounds come on. :tongue2:
I've been keeping up with the trainer 3 times a week with cardio after each session. I swim 45min once a week.
I didn't make my goal of being my wedding weight on my anniversary. I'm 15lbs off. :mad2:
How about 0nerLand for the New Year. That would be 18lbs for me, which sounds like a lot cause I've only lost 9lbs this last 3 months. Hmmm I'lll give it a shot. :smile2:
Man Im sitting here drinking water and it really is going down slow. I will be so bummed if Im too tight and have problems. :sad:
On the port discomfort front. I still feel it quite a bit. I asked my Dr and he said that it's normal & the padding over the port is "melting away" (his words).
I broke down and bought a bunch of supportive underwear. Wow it really makes a difference in how my clothes fit, very smooth. It just feels weird having a waistband almost at my bra line.
Ok enough said. Bye:wink2:
I was sitting at my desk hunched over the year-end numbers and my cell phone rings. Very absent-mindedly I answered. It's about 10 seconds in when I realize that its the desk lady from the Dr.'s scheduling my surgery date. "How's March 4th?" "Is that a good date?" "Okay how about the next week?" Now I focus in. Excuse me, what would you like me to do when? She says she's sorry, she knows she talks fast. " Your LapBand surgery. Would you like to schedule it for March 4th?" Now she's got my full attention. I was hoping to have it sooner but the Doc is going away on vacation for the month of January so that's the best they can do. I scheduled the surgery and the meeting with the hospitals nurse educator and ask to be put on the waiting list.
So again I wait.
I'm VERY glad to find that the nutty psych doc didn't sidetrack me.
So now I'm thinking maybe I will knuckle down and start the fitness part in January like I was planning. Maybe even start the liquid part in February, just to jump start things. I was really pumped to get this thing started at the first of the year. New Year, new start and all that. It looks like fate has a different path for me.
I called my sister to moan about the delay. She was really good about it and redirected me to the fact that it's going to happen, it's just delayed. She said March was a better time anyway because then she could fly out and take care of me for a week. How sweet is that?!
My husband will be very happy. I don't think he was looking forward to that first cranky week. Me hurting and only drinking my food. Him a big strong fireman having to forage for himself (My sister is a good cook- he won't go hungry).
I guess that's enough of a rant for today.
TTFN
I leave Saturday for my cruise to Bermuda.(this is the trip my wonder DH surprised me with for all my hard work with the band) I'm packed and ready. I absolutely LOVE cruises. Bonus it departs from a port only 40 minutes away, so no airport nightmares.
I've packed work out clothes, running shoes, couch 2 5k podcasts and signed up for two rather active land excursions. A mountain biking tour of the island and a kayak tour of the sea coast. So I think I will be staying on track with exercise.
I am worried about all the wonderful food. I will have to be at the top of my game when it comes to menu choice and not being tempted by the between meals snacking. Then there's the booze. I have a 1:2 plan, for every cocktail I drink I will have to drink 2 glasses of water.
I think pre-planning will be the key to not gaining on vacation. Dare I dream to perhaps lose?
I hit the web hard today.
I ordered a bunch of protein shakes/puddings from different brands because I'm not sure which ones I'll like. I REALLY like food and variety is the spice of life. I've read on the boards about a few different brands and everyone seems to have a favorite. Soon to be arriving at my door are; Unjury(I liked that they have sample sizes), Medifast, and Focus 28.
My big problem is that when I eat it is everything on my plate and maybe what is left on my husbands. A smaller problem is remembering to eat. The first will be solved with the band. The second will become a very large problem if I don't address it. I get very focused at work and skip lunch. When I get home it's --GET OUT OF MY WAY-- as I head to the frig. The nutritionist suggested I get a timer that reminds me to eat. Hmm good idea. It would also work to remind me to drink. So I hit the web again and found this
really nifty watch that has a alarm setting. I thought about a kitchen timer but if I leave my office or am out and about I'm not going to take that with me.
I'm looking into elliptical trainers but I don't think I will buy that on the net.
tomorrow is -make some sense of the basement day.
Comments are welcome and appreciated.
:cursing: TTFN
I had a bit of a scare in the mall yesterday. I had some soup and a few minutes later my stomach was a bit unnerved. Well I went to the health food store and got some ginger. That and alot of water to wash it through seemed to help. I did get diarrhea, but I didn't puke. I got really nervous thinking about getting sick and the band slipping.
I rescheduled the training sessions I will miss while on jury duty. I going to have a few late nights and a chunk out of a Saturday but Im happy not to be missing the time in the gym. I do feel better/happier while I am working out. My trainer was not available for the night workouts so Im giving another a try.
I cleared my desk at work so I can go to jury duty with a clear conscience. I know I will have to come in a few evenings or no one is going to get paid.
The scale still seems to be going down. Happy dance. I have a fill scheduled for 7/7. All is good.
Im off to my book.
Sometimes horoscopes hit it on the button.
"The hardest part of making changes in your life isn't thinking up ways to change -- it's putting that change into action! You need a lot of self-discipline to get started -- especially today, when your energy is going to be challenged by the demands people are putting on you."
So true!
I was just looking at my signature line. I have the counter for my weight(of course) plus the count-downs for my trip to Bermuda and the Triathlon.
I realized that A: the trip is a gift to me from my husband for taking the steps necessary for better health & B:the Triathlon is a gift to myself for taking the steps necessary for better health. C: if I keep on my current loss rate I will be half way to my goal by the time A & B happen.
That is special.:biggrin2:
Memorial Day weekend is synonymous with BBQ and that means FOOD.
I did really great Saturday, very bandster. Today has also been fine. Sunday was the problem. I was on the hook to make BBQ chicken and ribs. Man were those ribs good, I make KILLER ribs! A nibble here a nibble there. Yum. Then at the party munchies were everywhere. I tried to be good at first and eat only carrots but the peanuts were calling to me. Then so was the pasta salad, ribs and fruit and cookies. I wasn't feeling too good when we left. Which makes it easy to not eat much today. Im not feeling too bad about my consumption this weekend on the whole I ate TONS less then I would normally have. Still I know that the scale will not be moving down in the next few days and I have only myself to blame.
On the bright side the scale will definitely not be going up.
Ok I seem to bitch alot in the Blog about stalling so I guess I should be fair and post about when it is working.
Hard work pays off. I've started the downward trend again. Finally. But in retrospect I have to say I wasn't really consistent with my efforts.
Since my level of activity has always been pretty active, for my body to lose weight, I really have to kick it up a few notches. So daily runs/jogs/walks and multiple weight training days are needed to boost my metabolism. Upping my water/fluid consumption has seemed to be something that helps too.
This is also a more active time of year for me with the addition of water sports and more sunshine.
So to those of you struggling- Just keep at it.
TTFN, Amanda
I haven't allowed myself to dwell on why I might fail, or why I have periods
where I am not succeeding as well as I may have been in a prior week or
month. Why? Because good or bad, success or failure, what happens to me is based on the *choices* that I make on any given day. And because I didn't get banded so that its presence around my stomach would rule my life or make me obsess about how anything I do relates to the band. I was banded because I needed a tool, unlike any of the other tools I've used/tried in the past, that would help me a) get to a healthy state-of-being and :thumbup: remain in that
healthy state. By *my* definition of healthy (again, see disclaimer), *obsessing* about the band and all the *guidelines* associated with it -successful as it (the band) and many of them (guidelines) are for me - is
not healthy.
Early on in this journey, as pounds were melting away from me and I was
developing my own, personalized, lifestyle of "what works for *me*", I adopted two key quotations here that became my mantra: "Just because you can, doesn't mean you should" and "Live life well." What struck me fairly recently is that neither has anything to do explicitly with weight-loss or dieting or the band or eating habits. The first is strictly about making choices. And it is suggestive in nature, not a directive. Otherwise it
would have read, "You can, but don't." The latter is, semantically, a directive - but the meaning of "well" is not defined and subject to individual interpretation. And I'd worry about the mental stability of
anyone who chooses to *not* live life well - as per their own definition. So if someone tells/suggest to me to live life well, I'd be foolish not to heed it. So I made choices, everyday, that weighed upon the outcome of my success/failure. Most were choices to follow most of the guidelines most of
the time. But sometimes I chose not to follow the guidelines. The reasons
don't matter. Either way, they were *my choices*. Sometimes I did give up
what I really want for what I want now. I agree with that quote and we all
do it from time to time. Why has that not lead to failure for me? Because
I think the statement should read that we fail when we *continually* (or
*consistently*, take your pick) give up what we really want for what we want
now. No one is ever going to fail by living for the moment - now and then -
as long as we don't lose sight of the goals for more than a moment (or two).
Again, if I'm living every day, every moment wondering if every single thing
I do runs counter to the long-term goals, I'm not living life well; I will
have trapped myself into a mindset that may lead to a very healthy life, but
that's not necessarily living life well. We all make choices. They may seem contrary or counter-intuitive but in the end,
if we're happy with our choices and lead to our individual success, then
we've done what we should.
These wise words came from a post by Alan of LI, NY on the SmartBandsters group on YahooGroups. I thought it would be useful to pass them along.
I had my "education meeting" today. A mandatory meeting for to-be-banded folks that have a surgery date with my Dr. What a waste of time. 2.5 hours of an RN talking about everything I all ready know(mostly from LBTF). I guess the meeting is needed because one lady actually asked when will the band be removed? She was shocked when she heard it would be in her for life. She was the one who also asked how soon she could schedule the surgery "with this Dr." to remove all the extra skin ?
I also met a lady in the Dr's office that has been banded for 4 years. What a downer she was. She said she hasn't really lost much weight and can eat "anything she wants". Well maybe thats the reason she hasn't lost anything. She pooh-poohed LBTF as a bunch of kooks. Said I should join her support group so she could teach me how to eat with the band. A- NO thankYou.
On another journal (sunshine2) I found a link to www.livingafterwls.com that celebrates living after weight loss surgery. I love this site. They have a newsletter, recipes, and the neighborhood, which is alot like here. A great resource.
I'm very psyched. This time in 2 weeks I will be banded!!!:thumbup:
Hi all. Work has been a bear, so I haven't been posting.
I saw my Dr on the 21st and he cleared me for solid food. I asked about the mushy phase and his reply " you're a smart person, chew until mush then swallow. Unless you want to puree your food" Ive been enjoying food again. Ive found that I really cant eat more then a cup of food. Im keeping the protein up (60gm) carbs low & cals low(under 800) and taking 20-30 minutes to eat.
I still have to pulling sensation under my port, but Dr said that is muscle healing.
Im getting most of my water in. Ive found if I drink 20 oz on the drive to and from work that really helps.
night:sleep:
