I was just looking at my signature line. I have the counter for my weight(of course) plus the count-downs for my trip to Bermuda and the Triathlon.
I realized that A: the trip is a gift to me from my husband for taking the steps necessary for better health & B:the Triathlon is a gift to myself for taking the steps necessary for better health. C: if I keep on my current loss rate I will be half way to my goal by the time A & B happen.
That is special.:biggrin2:
I've been to this place before with friends and said I "never wanted" to do it myself. That was Bull**it. I always thought I was too heavy and they wouldn't let me.
Today I climbed 6 walls more then half way and one to the top. We're talking over 50ft to the top.
It was fantastic!!
I'm under a month until the Triathlon.
On the bike Ive been averaging 6+miles daily. I need to up my runs over 3miles. I'm feeling good so far. No major muscle aches. Just my left shin being tight.
I had some really good BBQ today. I'm glad I'm training enough that I can eat it and not feel guilty.
Exercise is the key to weight loss people!
Im doing my part as a good Auntie and telling everyone I know about the calendar my Niece is producing. She is only 17 and all the models are her friends.
Calendar Geeks
Go check it out and if you like it please pass along the link to anyone else you know who would like.
Thanks,
Amanda
I had an interesting talk with my trainer/nutritionist the other day. He wanted to measure me again to see my progress. I didn't want too. I tried to explain that I knew I was losing weight and inches because my clothes are fitting differently. He insisted that I needed to SEE the progress on paper. "Everyone wants to see their progress." So he measured away. For some reason I was disappointed in the results. My head thinks I should have lost more inches. I was really bummed. He was happy with the progress. I asked him if it was more important for him to be happy or me? Ya see I was happy with the progress as seen from the clothing standpoint. Like someone said here about wearing clothes that fit and seeing the proof that things are going well. Now I have these tape measure numbers in my head. They didn't mean anything to me until he made a big deal out of them. Yet I can't accept his judgment that the numbers are good. It really wrecked the workout that day. My head was somewhere else. He kept saying not to let it get to me. Ya easy for him.
I'm finally in a good place with this journey. I'm accepting that it will take me a while to get to a healthy weight. I'm working with the band. I'm getting into a groove with exercising. I've set a goal with the Triathlon. I've set a weight goal to be 200 by my anniversary (10/12). I'm actually allowing myself to believe this is working. I think my judgment is the best. But now someone tossed a wrench in the works.
Grrrr. It's so frustrating. :cool2:
Ive started my training for the Triathlon. Feels good to have a focus.
Weight loss stalled. Haven't lost for the last week. I think it is because it has been hot here and I have been reaching for the juice. To many calories.
I've been tired lately too. Perhaps because of the increased exercise. I think I will be hitting the pillow early tonight.
TTFN
I did a triathlon about 5 years ago. It was a great feeling!! So to that end...
I have signed up for a triathlon this summer.
I've decided that I need a focus regarding exercise. I might be crazy but I have to challenge myself and be accountable to something.
This is not the big IronMan type. It is the sprint length, not that I will be sprinting. 400meter swim/6mile bike/2mile run.
God, I hope I don't make a fool of myself.
I haven't allowed myself to dwell on why I might fail, or why I have periods
where I am not succeeding as well as I may have been in a prior week or
month. Why? Because good or bad, success or failure, what happens to me is based on the *choices* that I make on any given day. And because I didn't get banded so that its presence around my stomach would rule my life or make me obsess about how anything I do relates to the band. I was banded because I needed a tool, unlike any of the other tools I've used/tried in the past, that would help me a) get to a healthy state-of-being and :thumbup: remain in that
healthy state. By *my* definition of healthy (again, see disclaimer), *obsessing* about the band and all the *guidelines* associated with it -successful as it (the band) and many of them (guidelines) are for me - is
not healthy.
Early on in this journey, as pounds were melting away from me and I was
developing my own, personalized, lifestyle of "what works for *me*", I adopted two key quotations here that became my mantra: "Just because you can, doesn't mean you should" and "Live life well." What struck me fairly recently is that neither has anything to do explicitly with weight-loss or dieting or the band or eating habits. The first is strictly about making choices. And it is suggestive in nature, not a directive. Otherwise it
would have read, "You can, but don't." The latter is, semantically, a directive - but the meaning of "well" is not defined and subject to individual interpretation. And I'd worry about the mental stability of
anyone who chooses to *not* live life well - as per their own definition. So if someone tells/suggest to me to live life well, I'd be foolish not to heed it. So I made choices, everyday, that weighed upon the outcome of my success/failure. Most were choices to follow most of the guidelines most of
the time. But sometimes I chose not to follow the guidelines. The reasons
don't matter. Either way, they were *my choices*. Sometimes I did give up
what I really want for what I want now. I agree with that quote and we all
do it from time to time. Why has that not lead to failure for me? Because
I think the statement should read that we fail when we *continually* (or
*consistently*, take your pick) give up what we really want for what we want
now. No one is ever going to fail by living for the moment - now and then -
as long as we don't lose sight of the goals for more than a moment (or two).
Again, if I'm living every day, every moment wondering if every single thing
I do runs counter to the long-term goals, I'm not living life well; I will
have trapped myself into a mindset that may lead to a very healthy life, but
that's not necessarily living life well. We all make choices. They may seem contrary or counter-intuitive but in the end,
if we're happy with our choices and lead to our individual success, then
we've done what we should.
These wise words came from a post by Alan of LI, NY on the SmartBandsters group on YahooGroups. I thought it would be useful to pass them along.
Sometimes horoscopes hit it on the button.
"The hardest part of making changes in your life isn't thinking up ways to change -- it's putting that change into action! You need a lot of self-discipline to get started -- especially today, when your energy is going to be challenged by the demands people are putting on you."
So true!
I rescheduled the training sessions I will miss while on jury duty. I going to have a few late nights and a chunk out of a Saturday but Im happy not to be missing the time in the gym. I do feel better/happier while I am working out. My trainer was not available for the night workouts so Im giving another a try.
I cleared my desk at work so I can go to jury duty with a clear conscience. I know I will have to come in a few evenings or no one is going to get paid.
The scale still seems to be going down. Happy dance. I have a fill scheduled for 7/7. All is good.
Im off to my book.
Jury duty!
I got placed on a jury. A BIG, ugly case.
I am not a happy camper. Im told it will last at least 4 weeks.
This will really put a crimp in my training schedule. I just ramped up to 3 times a week and I had a really good time slot. Now I will probably lose the time slot and I will have to train at night and on the weekend.
Not to mention stress eating. This will be a good test of my new habits.
On the bright side I got a new wash machine and dryer. I love new toys and Im easily amused. I sat and watched the washer (front loader w/ glass door) swish the clothes for about 15 minutes.
Ok Im off to watch the dryer now.
I've moved the training schedule to 3 days a week (from 2).
I've taken in a few pairs of shorts (and need to loss the stuff I don't fit in any more.)
I'm finding I don't feel hungry most of the time.
Scale is moving down-slowly.
Cholesterol went down by about 100 points.
I have to work on wanting to eat when I'm bored. Why is that?
I have to work on exercising on non trainer days.
I think that is good progress.
I have found a new mantra:
Am I trading what I want most for what I want at the moment?
Weather it is more/high calorie food or vegging/watching TV and not exercising.
I keep hearing "look at this in the long term" because I'm bitching about slow weight loss. It has been 26 weeks since I decided something had to change and began this process mindfully. If I go by my scale I have lost 50 lbs, (according to the Dr who is going by a different date and scale 40lbs.) Averaged out that's 1.92 a week and well within the standards of healthy weight loss. That makes me feel a little bit better.
Still I know there is a golden time with the band, 24 months. That is the optimal time to lose with the band. I feel the clock ticking away and hope I have the personal strength to get what has to be done, done.
Do I want this the most?
Memorial Day weekend is synonymous with BBQ and that means FOOD.
I did really great Saturday, very bandster. Today has also been fine. Sunday was the problem. I was on the hook to make BBQ chicken and ribs. Man were those ribs good, I make KILLER ribs! A nibble here a nibble there. Yum. Then at the party munchies were everywhere. I tried to be good at first and eat only carrots but the peanuts were calling to me. Then so was the pasta salad, ribs and fruit and cookies. I wasn't feeling too good when we left. Which makes it easy to not eat much today. Im not feeling too bad about my consumption this weekend on the whole I ate TONS less then I would normally have. Still I know that the scale will not be moving down in the next few days and I have only myself to blame.
On the bright side the scale will definitely not be going up.
So for all my bitching lately I lost two pounds this week. It is about time!! I know it is not directly from the band because I've been struggling with portions. I called the Dr and pleaded my case, he moved up the fill by a week. I wish I could get in before 5-30. I don't want to piss him off.
Whatever right. Im rejoicing in the loss.
I hate to poop poop the band so early but I know myself and I need some more reenforcement to keep on the proper path. This thing is supposed to kick in where my will power can't. Or maybe not. Maybe I just wanted it to and read into the Lap-band information what I wanted to see.
I called the Dr about a fill and was told not for 6 weeks.
I really should have looked into the fill policy of this Dr before banding. Live and learn. There are other Dr's that fill more frequently. I think I should make up a list of ?? prebanders should ask.
I hope I will be one of those bandsters who at one year are counseling the newbies to hang in there because I had a slow start also.
I really appreciate the opportunity to vent in a supportive place.
THANKS:smile2:
I have been very discouraged lately. Second guessing my decision to get the band and wondering if perhaps I should have gotten the bypass.
The scale has not moved down since April 11(not counting the times it has gone up then down, back to the 4/11 weight). I had a fill on May 2, 1 1/2cc in a 4cc band. I have been working out with a trainer and doing the cardio. I have no soft stops, hard stops, BPs, anything. I "could" eat anything I want but manage to eat well most of the time. Although Sunday I had a whole NY bagel for Gods sake, that is not supposed to be possible. I have been journaling foods. Not drinking with or after meals. Its like I don't have the band in at all. Except for the scars and the golfball that is sticking out of my stomach(aka the port).
I have reminded myself of why I chose the band over the bypass- recovery time, malabsorption issues, reversible. But Im starting to think about the bypass in a new light.
Im thinking maybe I should have done some more research. Talked to some more people.
If I had the bypass there is no way a bagel could go down.!!!:thumbup:
I am not happy.
(on the Drs scale I have only lost 9lbs in the first 10 wks after surgery. I lost 5lbs in the first week. Do the math this is not working!!!!:thumbup::cursing::smile2::cursing::cursing: )
I had my first fill today. I thought I was going to have to talk the Dr into it but he just said "sure if you really want one".
1.5cc in the 4cc band. I've heard horror stories about fills being tough, Dr digging to get the port, but it was a breeze. I don't know if it was the excitement or what but I got a little lightheaded for a few minutes after. So now its liquids for a few days then soft.
I've been thinking alot about goals lately. I'm not a goal driven person, I do tasks. I see something that needs doing and do it. I'm more of an intuitive person, it either feels right so I do it or wrong and I stay away. I don't know what it is about writing out goals but I just seem to stall out. I look forward and see some things I would like different but can't seem to set a plan for it. Maybe that is the thing that needs to be different with the band. Goals.
So why can't I set a few goals?
I don't like to fail.
Ok so set some easy goals.
*start the day with 30min on treadmill.
*work with trainer weekly. Be on time and ready to workout.
*log all food weekly. Be truthful.
Do I want to set a weight goal?
*lose 2 lbs this week.
Will see about next week.
Longer term goal?
*200lbs by my wedding anniversary. Thats 1.6lbs a week.
What will I do to achieve these goals?
**I paid the trainer up front for the whole year. Big $$ so that's something.
**I need to recruit some friends to give me a call to get my mojo going in the morning.
**I will post my anniversary goal on my mirror with a wedding photo(last time I was 200lbs).
I think this is a good start.
Comments are always welcome. Thanks!
I have some stupid big scars. I don't know if this is just me or Dr's handy work. One is 2 3/4", two are 1" and three are 1/2".
Is that normal?
I've been thinking about taking up yoga. Nice gentle body work. Only thing is last time I tried my hands got so sweaty I slipped and almost broke my nose.
Or maybe a personal trainer.
I have an appointment with the Dr next week and maybe get a fill if the Dr thinks I'm really trying. I think it is interesting that some Dr hand out fills like candy and others like bestowing a knighthood.:confused2:
I went for my shin check up with the dermatologist today. She took off a "suspicious" bit of skin(and is sending it to the lab) and gave me a scrip for some cream to put on two other spots. Then she cut off one of my finger nails to send to the lab for a culture. What is up with that?
Back story is that I lost my daughter-in-law 5 years ago to Melanoma and my husband has been battling with skin cancers for about 10 years.
I don't need this now. I'm trying to focus on this band and getting the weight off and now this.
I was taking some warm weather clothes down from the attic today. They are in plastic boxes and a bit heavy. I was bracing one on my belly, (like I have always done, nice soft landing zone), when it slid down over my port. OUCH!! Man I thought I scrapped that little bugger off my muscle. I have a bruise now and the port area is tender like when I first got it. Geeze I hope I didn't rip/pull a stitch.
Update on eating/drinking- Im doing great on calories/protein. I could do better on getting my water in. The scale is still going down though.
