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About this blog

the road to a new me

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A lost soul

Well, here I am, 3 months shy of being banded 3 years and in a position I never thought I would be in again. I have gained about 30 lbs since the end of June and my clothes are all tight. I have to search out my big clothes again. and sob, my lovely new clothes in size 10 don't fit. I am also depressed that this has happened. The main reason it happened was that I had to get a defill of 2 cc when my stomach was so upset and my band so tight. That was not my doing. What I do blame myself for is not controlling my eating. God knows I have dieted a million times in my life so I know how to lose weight and how to make good choices in my food. I had no restriction and I ate everything and anything. I was especially addicted to junk food and sweet stuff so of course I gained quickly. I have had 1 1/2 cc fills put back in and do feel restricted but not enough I guess. I can't get past my head hunger it seems. Probably because I was sooo restricted when my band was too tight, now I am bingeing. I started going to Curves again and am trying to eat healthy. I am going to get another fill of 1/2 cc. That will take me back to the full 2 cc I had taken out the end of June. I am so afraid my band is not going to work for me again. Anyone else struggling with similar circumstances?:thumbup:
Living My Dream

Living My Dream

4
 

26 months postbanding

Well here I am sitting in a resort in Florida enjoying the fabulous view and sound of the ocean and enjoying my new body. I never dreamed I would ever be a size 10 and I am (depending on the make). I feel so elated when I am shopping for clothes and the sizes 12 and 14 are now too big. Wow. I have never worn size 10 in my life. I don't like wearing anything baggy now. I want fitted stylish clothes to show off my new curves. I can feel my bones clearly now and have shape. Who knew? I do miss doing Curves while we are traveling but am trying to swim and walk. No more buffet waist bands and clothes with no belts or buttons. I have a wonderful new wardrobe. I don't want to wear my old size 2XL coat and hide under it. I am thinking now about a new bathing suit. Life is good!:blushing:
Living My Dream

Living My Dream

3
 

Living My Dream

Well it's been 18 months since my lapband surgery and I have slowly been going down. My size 16 clothes are now getting way too big, depending on where I bought them. Sizes vary a lot. I dreamed for a long time of being able to wear all the too small clothes in my closet. Now that I can wear them, I am finding that I don't really like them or they are outdated or better still they are too big. I thought I would never get into them again. It is great knowing I won't regain the weight ever again too. I weigh myself almost every day now and although I am not really dieting, I can't overeat so the band is working terrific. I also don't think about food all the time. I now eat to live not live to eat. I am quite happy going to any function where there is tons of food and just eating a tiny bit. I feel so in control for the first time in years. I don't feel deprived at all because mostly I just want to taste things then I am happy. More and more non scale victories keep coming my way. I sooooooooooo love my band. My husband is doing great too. We have both lost 62 pounds each and we feel great and everyone comments on how good we look. We both want to lose a bit more but aren't sure how much. I am thinking about getting down to size 12 and I can wear a 14 now (in some clothes). I am going to Curves and trying to tone up as I continue to lose. Life is good. I am glad we did this.
Living My Dream

Living My Dream

1
 

Problems with my Band

It has been 2 1/2 years since I was banded. I got down to size 10 and my lowest weight was 155 lbs. My husband and I were traveling in March to May this year. I got sick with a kidney infection on our drive to Florida. My stomach got upset with my IBS and I was nauseated. My band got really tight in the middle of all that and the end result was MILKSHAKES! My stomach was so upset and my band so tight that I was living on very little food but could drink milk and milkshakes felt very comforting. They settled my stomach and filled me up. I got antibiotics when I got to Orlando but they made my stomach more upset. I was throwing up a lot and had terrible heartburn, throwing up if I laid down. I spent most nights sleeping sitting up. I was in misery. It was not caused by my band but my band got into the middle of everything. I needed a defill but was out of my country. I tried everything - bland foods, eating mushy or liquids, using antacids constantly. Nothing helped. We got home from our trip to Florida and I got more antibiotics because I felt like the infection was still there. I also got a small defill. We were leaving again only 10 days later for Hawaii for our 40th anniversary. When we got to Honolulu for the first week, I got really sick again. I was very nauseated and throwing up. My band felt very constricted again and I stopped taking my antibiotics. My stomach settled down but the band stayed very tight. When we got home from Hawaii the first week of May, I was sick again for about 4 days, vomiting and nausea. My band seemed even tighter and I could hardly eat anything. It was hard to even drink tea. My band seemed to have tightened on it's own again. Then I started having choking episodes and I felt like my stomach/pouch was up in my throat. I had a few episodes where I couldn't breathe and had to concentrate to relax my throat and let the food or drink go down so I could get my breath. I was terrified. I could not understand what was happening. It seemed like the band had slipped. I phoned and talked to my clinic and they advised me over the next few days to get a big defill. I did that and my stomach and band settled down. I had severe gas pains for about three days following the defill that doubled me over and I was in agony, pacing the floor and crying with the pain. Bandster hell. Finally that stopped. I then felt no restriction and was eating too much and too much junk. I started gaining weight and felt so upset with myself. I tried to stop overeating and watch what I was consuming but continued. I needed my band refilled. A month after my defill of 2 cc, I went back for a fill of 1 cc. that gave me back some restriction but I was still gaining weight. We had our 40th Anniversary party on Aug 7 and I felt self conscious and fat. I changed dresses to cover up my 14 lb weight gain. Other people didn't notice but I could feel the extra weight around my middle especially. I missed feeling svelte and beautiful and in control. I have had a lot of company and been too busy to spend any time on my Curves program or eating patterns. I am feeling more restriction now but have had another setback.After all the problems with my stomach, my doctor sent me for tests. One test I had on Monday this week was a barium swallow. The radiologist asked me questions before the test about what had been going on. He was not knowledgeable about lapbands but could see it in the xray. He told me that it was sitting on top of my stomach not like the picture on my lapband card I showed him. I guess my band has slipped and I am anxious to get it back to normal again before I gain too much weight. I wish I could control my eating and lose some weight through just diet. I really love my band and how wonderful it made me feel to lose all that weight in the first place. Wish me luck!   :wink2::glare:
Living My Dream

Living My Dream

4
 

What a fantastic feeling!

I had a big non scale victory today. I cleaned out my closet. I have been hording all the clothes that didn't fit for years and as you can imagine couldn't fit another piece of clothing into my small walk in closet. I kept thinking that someday I would eventually wear those smaller clothes again. Well the day has finally come. I threw out size 2X, 1X, 18 and started on my size 16 clothes. I was shocked at how matronly some of the styles were. I was trying to cover up my expanding body and hating every minute of it. When I got to 238 lbs I thought I would die. I kept thinking my weight would stop going up and it never did. Now I am buying size 14 and still wearing a few smaller size 16's. And I don't regain the weight. Even when I don't eat wisely, the most I gain is 1 1/2 to 2 lbs. It is so amazing! I love, love, love my band. And my husband is looking terrific with his lapband too. Together we have lost 130 lbs of ugly, uncomfortable weight. We feel fantastic. Now we are deciding how much more to lose. People are telling us we don't need to lose any more. We might still lose about 20 lbs each. It was the best money we ever spent.:wink:
Living My Dream

Living My Dream

1
 

Sick and my band is too tight, agh!

Well I have just experienced bandster hell of another kind. I have been sick with a very sore throat and tired then my band tightened so much I was throwing up in my sleep. Horrible. I tried to just ride it out. I tried to eat softer foods and stop eating a couple of hours before bed. Oh, well, I feel better today. I had chills, aches and headache plus a sick, acidy stomach yesterday. The good news is that I have lost a couple more pounds. I am at 162 lbs this morning. I can't believe it. I am sooooo happy. I am aiming for size 12 or 150, not sure which. I'll see when it happens. I never thought I would ever get down to size 14 again and now it's getting loose. I have been buying new clothes and I am thinking about the shame of it when they don't fit and I will have hardly worn them. Oh well, I'll deal with it when it happens. I can actually buy size medium off the rack now and it fits. I am thrilled. Back to my band, I was thinking that my band must have slipped and I was going to call Slimband clinic this morning. My fill nurse, Nancy, told me that the band tightens when you are sick. I believe it. I feel better today and have had a piece of toast and a yogurt so I am fine. Thank goodness. So if I aim for 150 lbs, I have only 12 lbs left to lose. In 2 decades of dieting off and on, I never got to goal on any program before I started gaining again. Life is good!
Living My Dream

Living My Dream

1
 

Getting back to basics

Just came back from my family doctor's and got a 1/2 cc fill which takes me back to where I was before they took out 2 cc June 29 at Slimband. I feel quite restricted and have only had water in the first couple of hours since my fill. I will stay on liquids today and tomorrow, then mushies before trying solid food. I hope this takes my hunger and craving for carbs away. I want to lose what I gained (almost 30 lbs) and then finish the last 10 or so after that to goal. Wish me luck.  
Living My Dream

Living My Dream

1
 

Living My Dream everyday

Hi everyone. It has been 3 months short of 2 years since I was banded. I have lost slowly but that has been a good thing as I am not as saggy as I thought I would be. I am still going to Curves and that is helping firm up muscles as I lose the fat. My body is emerging out of the fat layers I was hidden beneath. Who knew I would ever find a slim body after being overweight for at least 25 years. I have always had a weight problem and was a size 16 then went down to a size 12 in high school. I am in size 14 now and loving every minute of it. I am revamping my whole wardrobe, donating the big sizes as I pass them on the way down I still can't believe I am actually doing this. It is exciting to get dressed now instead of dreading it. I used to worry about what to wear especially if I was going out somewhere special. Now I look forward to finding another outfit I can now wear again. I kept all the sizes as my weight increased and hoped that someday I would wear my smaller clothes again. It seemed like a pipe dream and as I got older seemed less and less possible. Now the smallest clothes that I saved are getting baggy. I love, love, love it. I would so recommend lapband to anyone struggling with obesity. Lapband is so easy compared to the old invasive weight loss surgeries. :biggrin:
Living My Dream

Living My Dream

1
 

unexpected gas pains 2 yrs postop

I have been banded almost 27 months and have pain from gas still popping up. I sometimes wake up with it. I use gas x and wailk around but it is quite painful and takes sometimes an hour to stop finally. anyone else with recurring gas pain?:thumbup:
Living My Dream

Living My Dream

3
 

More Non Scale Victories

It has been 19 months since my lapband surgery. I have been slowly going down in size. Even when I don't lose any weight on the scale, I seem to be firming up and getting more compact. I can see shape in places I thought were gone forever. I can fit into size 14 now. I don't think I have been able to do that for over 20 years. I went shopping and bought size 14 blue jeans that look awesome. I don't think I have even owned blue jeans in over a decade at least. We went to an FCRV campout this past weekend and I got compliments everywhere I went on how great I look. I have bought new clothes that fit my new shape instead of baggy ones to cover up. I am excited to get dressed every morning instead of dreading it when I knew I was going out. I can't wait to clean out some more baggy clothes from my closet after our daughter goes back out west and I have some time. I have lost 65 lbs so far and am contemplating maybe losing another 20 lbs. People are starting to tell me I don't need to lose any more but I still have some rolls and lumps around my middle and on my legs. I am not getting to Curves very often right now with my daughter and grandchildren here and wedding activities. I need to firm up and Curves really helps. I am trying to walk when I can. I walk with my neighbour when we have time. My daughter's wedding is August 15 and I am looking forward to wearing my beautiful new dress. When I bought it last Spring it was really tight but now it feels loose and comfortable. I feel like a Queen wearing it. I don't have to try to hold in my stomach anymore mostly because I don't have much stomach any more. Wow does that feel great! People were calling me "Skinny Minnie" this weekend. I was delighted. My husband has also lost 65 lbs and looks soooooo... handsome. He will look amazing in his new tux at the wedding. He bought a black one. I remember when I first met him in high school and he wore his black suit for assemblies. I was drooling over him. He is looking as handsome again. We love our bands. They were worth the $30,000 we spent to get our bodies and our health back. Thankyou Dr Yau and TLBC.:cursing:
Living My Dream

Living My Dream

1
 

Thinking about lapband surgery

[link=http://www.TickerFactory.com/weight-loss/wEomEvW/] [image noborder]http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/t/wEomEvW/weight.png[/image] [/link] It seems like weight has been an issue all my life. I have dieted so many times and gained it all back. I hope this will be a forever solution. I am anxious to go ahead asap but am still working on my husband to go along with it. I need help to get this going.:help:
Living My Dream

Living My Dream

3
 

Still losing

I haven't been on this site for awhile but my third fill is still working. I was going to have a fourth fill on May 27 but didn't need it. I dropped in to the Seminar in Kingston on May 27 before my daughter's graduation. I had booked a fill for that day but discussed it with Nancy, my fill nurse, and we both decided to leave well enough alone since everything was working the way it was supposed to. I lost another 1 1/2 pounds this morning. I have lost 34 pounds so far but am very happy with that. My progress is slow but steady which is a good way to lose weight. It is so exciting to pull some of my smaller sizes out of my closet and they fit again. I no longer dread getting dressed to go somewhere special because I can wear so many more clothes again.   :biggrin:
Living My Dream

Living My Dream

1
 

16 days til lapband

It is the day after New Year's. I finally got the blood work done on Saturday and the ECG. I need to get the xray done asap. I don't want anything to stop me from my Jan 17 surgery date. Carl and I reapplied for the medical insurance. I was pre-approved last time but now Carl applied too. He is anxious about the money. We can get the surgery for $15, 000 each if he books soon. Carl will have to wait til May because of his sleep apnea and heart problems it has to be done in the hospital. We are going south late February for 2 months so I want to be banded and one fill by then. We had our second grandchild, a boy, born on Christmas day. Very exciting. I better phone the medical insurance company today.:paranoid
Living My Dream

Living My Dream

1
 

I'm on the way!!!!

I finally booked my surgery for January 17, 2008. I am anxious to get started. I finally convinced my husband that it is a good idea. I want him to have surgery too. He is seriously thinking about it. He has to have his surgery done in hospital because of sleep apnea and heart problems. He so needs to get himself healthy with me. I am still eating like there is no tomorrow. I hope I can get started. Maybe when I have to focus on the one week pre-op diet. Let me see. What things will I not miss about being fat.... feeling embarassed when I go out in public because I am so overweight
worrying about what to wear to special things I go to like my neice's 30th birthday and another neice's wedding reception
having to shop in fat people stores for bigger and bigger sizes
feeling uncomfortable bending over to put on shoes, cut my toe nails, ...
eating until I am so uncomfortable and bloated I hate myself
getting out of breath climbing stairs, carrying heavy things, dancing, ...
hating having my picture taken
hating wearing a bathing suit or shorts
always hiding my fatness behind clothes, etc.
avoiding the scale
avoiding going to the doctor because of my weight
finding it harder and harder to fit into chairs, rides at Canada's Wonderland, seatbelts, ...
feeling negative about myself because I have no will power to stop eating
dreaming of wearing all the smaller sizes in my closet holding on to clothes of all sizes in my closet in case I lose weight so my closet is bulging I hope this is the miracle I have been wishing for and that I can make it come true. I have to love me again and care about me and how I look.   a month to go til my surgery
Living My Dream

Living My Dream

2
 

My band is working

I had my third fill May 6th and I had immediate results with restriction. Yeah! I feel so in control of my eating. I have 6.5 cc in a 10 cc midband. I also had dental surgery which has limited my chewing. I am paying close attention to my drinking and it makes a big difference. I try not to drink for about an hour before and an hour after. I could probably do better than that but it is hard to get my liquids in. I have lost 25 pounds so far but I feel so much more comfortable at 213 than at 238 lbs. I am surprised when I see pictures of myself that I am still so overweight. I could lose another 70 or more pounds easily. I haven't been that small for so long it does seem like a dream. My next fill (#4) is in 3 weeks. I want to lose maybe 5 to 7 lbs by then for my daughter's graduation.   :thumbdown:
Living My Dream

Living My Dream

1
 

Living in Bandland

Hi Everyone I was banded 7 months ago and have lost 37 lbs. I am absolutely thrilled. I feel so good. I am down to a size 16 again from a stretched size 2XL. My band has good restriction but I have to follow the band rules. My husband was banded on August 6, 2008. I am so proud of him for doing this. He has already lost 24 lbs from the pre-op and post-op diets. He is losing off his big stomach and is starting to lose off his face too. He had a huge hiatus hernia which Dr. Yau fixed so is off one long term medication already for acid reflux. I need to work harder to stick to the bandster way of eating so I can lose the next 50 lbs. It is a miracle that I have lost this much and I don't regain it. Even if I go up a couple of pounds, I can cut back and lose it right away. That never happened pre-banding. Man I love this band. Thank you God! Lynda
Living My Dream

Living My Dream

1
 

3 months post op and not enough restriction

I had my surgery January 17, 2008 and I have lost 25 lbs which feels sooooooo good. I have lost my motivation but will soon have my third fill on Tuesday so I hope that helps. I have been able to eat what ever I want and I stopped paying attention to the band rules. HELP! I don't want to have done this for nothing. I am stressed right now and finding it hard to resist snacking. I hope my fill on Tuesday will reign me back in so I can't eat as much. :crying:
Living My Dream

Living My Dream

1
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