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MY EXPERIENCE..FROM THE BEGINNING

Entries in this blog

 

Addictions

Still waiting for the date.. while i'm waiting on the clearance to get to my doctor thats gonna do me, i find myself eating out all the time..even before, i think im addicted to eating out..i get home late, seems like daily i forget to take something out to cook. I am gonna buy a slow cooker, im hoping there are meals that are healthy that i can cook in it...

KatrinaD

KatrinaD

 

Im banded

GOT IT DONE FINALLY 2/16 AT 730AM IM IN HOSPITAL..IM FINE..ALOT OF SLEEPING..THANK GOD FOR MY LAP..   WRITE L8R

KatrinaD

KatrinaD

 

All i think about is the band

SO, I'M AT WORK..AND I READING THE BLOGS..AND I'M LIKE..AM I READY? WHAT CAN I DO TO PREPARE FUTHER.. SO I'M THINKING I NEED A TO DO LIST..THINGS TO GET, ETC.   1ST AND FORMOST (THANK GOD FOR WEEKENDS) I NEED TO CLEAN OUT MY REFRIDGERATOR .   THEN I NEED TO GO SHOPPING. I THINK I READ ON A COMMENT TO ONE OF MY BLOGS BEANS IS GOOD TO STOCK UP ON. AND BROTHS I'M GUESSING SOUNDS LIKE I HAVE TO MAKE MY FOODS MOIST..DARK MEAT VS WHITE MEAT (CHICKEN)   NEED TO BUY:   HEATING PADS-GAS PAIN   I'M THINKING I'M STILL MISSING STUFF..   CAN'T EVEN BEGIN TO THINK IM REALLY FEELING OVERWHELMED..A BIT NERVOUS..

KatrinaD

KatrinaD

 

Day 3 preop diet

SO YESTERDAY I WANTED TO CHEAT.. I PROMISED MYSELF I WOULDNT. BECAUSE I KNEW I'D HATE STARTING OVER AGAIN..I SOOOOOO WANT A RARE STEAK, WITH MASHED POTATOS..MMM YUMMMOOO!!   SO I'VE BEEN DRINKING TONS OF WATER AND ENJOYING MY DINNERS..   TOMORRO IS DAY..4 RIGHT? STARTED ON TUESDAY? HOPE I'M COUNTING RIGHT :drool:   I CAN DO THIS!

KatrinaD

KatrinaD

 

No support

I can't explain what it's like to go through this with no support. My 12 soon-to-b 13 year old is worried i'll get skinnier than her..(odd), she (i've mentioned before) is upset i'm doing it a day after her bday (worked around work schedule). The b/f is against surgeries period doesn't think i've tried everything..now i'm second guessing..i know this is what i want. I know my b/f was attracted to me the way i am. Do i risk losing him when i get skinny? Well then he never truly loved me. This will be the real test. I don't have anyone else...it's hard when you dont have support. What do you do?

KatrinaD

KatrinaD

 

Day 10 of my preop diet

WELL, THE MOOD SWINGS ARE OUT OF THIS WORLD FOR ME. I CAN'T FIGURE IT OUT...STILL HUNGRY BUT I'VE GOTTEN TO THE REALIZATION THAT IT JUST AIN'T HAPPENING...I'VE FOUND SOME COOL RECIPIES THAT I CAN'T WAIT TO TRY..AFTERWARDS....SO..GOT MY UPS AND DOWNS..   THE BAD PART~I CHEATED.. 2 SUSHI ROLLS..I COULDNT HELP IT..THEY WERE SCREAMING MY NAME..:w00t:..PLEASE SOMEONE TELL ME I DIDNT SCREW UP SO BAD...:tongue_smilie:   I PROMISED MYSELF I WOULDNT..BUT THE MOST IMPORTANT THING FOR ME WAS NOT TO COMPLAIN..I'M DEALING WITH THINGS..   BOUGHT MY PJ'S FOR THE HOSPITAL STAY..   IM PARANOID ABOUT MY MESS UP.I COULD HAVE HAD A BURGER, A STEAK BUT I CHOSE SUSHI..OF ALL THINS..(#*$&)#$(*!!!!   I CAN DO THIS!!!

KatrinaD

KatrinaD

 

how do you keep going

me and my co worker, tired of being so fat..i told her about the banding and she went and did it.   we both agreed we were tired...we couldnt move..felt like we were running and not getting anywhere..   i like to see the participation on this site, and the friendships that ppl have made.. its awesome...

KatrinaD

KatrinaD

 

Day 1-preop diet i'm pumped!!

SO TODAY IS DAY ONE. THIS PROTEIN SHAKE IS GOOD I GOT VANILLA~TASTES LIKE BANNANA GOT A QUART OF WATER NEXT TO ME I KINDA WEENED MYSELF OFF SODAS THESE LAST FEW DAYS..   ITS ODD..THE SMELL OF PREMADE FOOD REALLY HAS BEEN MAKING ME SICK..ALMOST LIKE IT WAS WHEN I WAS PREGNANAT (NO IM NOT PREG LOL) BUT I JUST CAN'T STAND THE SMELL..IT MAKES ME QUEEZY...   I THOUGHT MAYBE SINCE MY LUNCH IS 1/2 HOUR I CAN WALK OUTSIDE, ITS NOT SO BAD..20'S 30'S..BETTER THAN BELOW ZERO WEATHER...THAT WAY IT KEEPS ME NOT AT MY DESK AND NOT THINKING OF FOOD..   I THINK CHEWING ON SUGAR FREE GUM TOO IS OK..SO I HAVE PACKED MY DRAWERS FULL OF CRYSAL LIGHT BOXES AND IM STRAIGHT :bored:..   OH ANOTHER THING..IVE LOST 9 LBS FROM WHEN I HAD MY CONSULTATION AT DR'S OFFICE TO NOW..I WONDER HOW THAT HAPPEND...   I BROUGHT MY WORK OUT CLOTHES W/ ME AND I'LL GO TO THE GYM WHEN I'M OFF WORK TO WORK THE TREADMILL..   I THINK IM HEADED IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION...

KatrinaD

KatrinaD

 

THE BEGINNING

Its difficult going through this alone. I came here last year without knowing anyone, change of job. I made a decision since I came here for a career change, that I would make a "me" change. I don't know......I found myself looking at myself and not liking me one bit. I want to be a good rolemodel for others and thats why i'm doing this...I went through the pre-screenings..January 4th I should know when the surgery will take place. It's hard not to have someone close to you for support; especially being in a new state, new environment. I like the doctor though, hes nice. Lets hope for the best... Greek

KatrinaD

KatrinaD

 

eating so much

I know its getting closer i keep eating hopefully things turn around fast. i can't believe how much i've been eating

KatrinaD

KatrinaD

 

2nd thoughts

my b/f doesnt want me to go through with this. the price for the fee is so much (more than i can afford). i keep thinking i can do so much for $300.00 (its an enrollment fee they charge). im on the fence again. i dont know what to do..im on day 2 of liquids and so damn depressed its killing me. my daughter is crying because in 2 weeks she's turning 13 and she really doenst want me doing this and no matter how i explain it, she s sad....im 240 5'3..not HUGE..but enough to make me sick when i look in the mirror...i have no health issues..other than im fat....this decision is killing me. i dont know if im doing the right thing...

KatrinaD

KatrinaD

 

4 days til pre-op diet

TRYIN TO GET IN ONE LAST TIME ALL THE BAD STUFF...BUT I FEEL GUILTY..IN MY PREVIOUS BLOGS I WROTE THAT FOOD IS COMFORT..SO NOW WHAT WILL I HAVE? THERES A REASON WHY WHEN WE CRY WE REACH FOR A BURGER OR WHEN WE'RE MAD WE GRAB A CIG (I QUIT SMOKING 3 YEARS AGO).   I BOUGHT EVERY FLAVOR OF CRYSTAL LIGHT AND PUT IT IN MY DRAW AT WORK. I GOT RID OF ALL THE COFFEE CUPS ( CUZ I DRINK COFFEE XTRA SWEET XTRA CREAM). NOTHIN BUT THE GOOD STUFF   I CAN DO THIS...IM PRETTY SURE

KatrinaD

KatrinaD

 

The waiting is a killer

Well, I had a day approved from my job to go to my mini-consultation on 8/22 but it got taken back (management didn't realize someone was already off that day). I had to reschedule for 8/27. This has been nothing but agony. I should never have changed my mind from January. I always look in the mirror and say one day, I wont have to lay down to put my jeans on. One day, I won't have to go shop in the plus size department...one day they wont look at me weird because i'm so fat and my boyfriend is so skinny. I want to cry so many times for feeling like a failure...why did i have to give up that time! I am determined this time to get it done. I hope I dont have to go through all those doctor stuff again.

KatrinaD

KatrinaD

 

The day to schedule

Tomorrow is the date that I go to the doc..and thats when we schedule a day for surgery..but..i've been worried about what if he changes his mind and decides i'm not the right candidate? or what if the insurance declines it? or what if something goes wrong???   i dont have anyone to go through this with me. no family or friends...so i'll make it through..somehow    

KatrinaD

KatrinaD

 

liquids today

I start liquids/protein today.i couldnt sleep...all night i kept tossing and turning..i had all the stuff going through my head last night and whats gonna be coming up..whew...day one..i'm grabbing a shake and hitting the road..going to work   peace

KatrinaD

KatrinaD

 

Grocery list

so whats a typical grocery list once the band has been done? I need ideas for what to buy, what to keep stocked in my cabinents..i know theres a forum on : what i ate today but I need to know what to buy in order to make it then i can write on what i had to eat. :thumbup:

KatrinaD

KatrinaD

 

I have a date!

well, after getting cold feet back in 2/08 when i was supposed to have the surgery, i started the process again. I called bmi surgery and explained to them the details as to what scared me etc. The coordinator was understanding, and said lets get you in for a mini-consult with the doctor. My biggest fear in doing this again was that i would have to be evaluated again. But, i had my consult 8/27 and i don't have to!! Within 24 hours, i received the call from the cordinator and we scheduled everything from the pre-op classes to the surgery. I have no ones support. My daughters are 10 & 12 and they are worried..they of course dont see the big picture. The other part is my parents..they have not responded to my emails..so that to me indicates they aren't willing to even discuss it. Last of all my b/f. We met in feb when i was as fat as i am now and he definitly doesn't want me going through it. But i explained to him, you may come and go in my life but my fat (unless i do something) will always be with me. I'm a bit nervous of the port and how protruding it is. Other than that, i am going to do it. I've told a few girls at work because i dont want to look stupid if i back out again, that way i have a better change of going throught it. good plan eh?

KatrinaD

KatrinaD

 

Can anything else go wrong

TODAY IS A STAY AT HOME DAY~LITERALLY. MY CAR IS NOT HOLDING ANTI~FREEZE.....I WAS DRIVING FROM WORK LAST NIGHT. I KNEW SOMETHING WAS WRONG WITH THE CAR..AND I EVEN CALLED MY MECHANIC AFEW DAYS B4..SO NOW..I CAN'T DRIVE IT..AND HE'S IN THE CITY..AND I JUST NEED TO PRAY HE COMES OUT HERE OR IM SO SOL   IVE HAD LOTS OF POSITIVE FEEDBACK I'M DOING OK..STILL POSITIVE..STILL MOTIVATED.....JUST NEED A MIRACLE FROM GOD MAYBE ONE DAY I'LL BE THE ONE

KatrinaD

KatrinaD

 

what to expect

I know that everyone gets excited with the thought of the weightloss. What happens when its off? Can we live a normal life? Can we still have spaghetti and meatballs? Lobster? steak? Are fills for the rest of our lives? I wish I knew the support groups....are they truly supportive. anyway..i'm starting to get terribly nervous...its the "unknown"

KatrinaD

KatrinaD

 

Almost clear, date in the future for banding

Sheesh, this time around is the hardest. They called me and told me that they saw an abnormality when I did the stress test. I told them I am fine, they were just seeing things. The doc then said there are at times false positives, and he wants me to do an angiogram. Friday (this past), I did the angiogram..THEY FOUND NOTHING!!! unbelievable waste of time..it is frustrating, i understand they want to make sure im ok but still, nothing changed from 2 years ago to now...anyway..so now i am cleard, I wait for the date...

KatrinaD

KatrinaD

 

Feb 16 2010 band date

WELL-THIS TIME THERES NO GOING BACK. 2/16/10 IS THE DATE~I START PREOP DIET 1/26/10. THIS IS THE THIRD TIME. I FEEL GOOD BOUT IT. I FEEL COMFORTABLE, KNOWLEDABLE AND PREPARED. I EVEN CLEANED OUT MY DESK AT WORK OF ALL THE COFFEE CUPS, FAST FOOD PACKETS, ETC. THINGS WILL GO BY VERY QUICKLY.   THIS IS IT!

KatrinaD

KatrinaD

 

no go...grrr

Just my luck......i went to my appointment, because I switched from PPO to HMO, They said: do you have your referal? Do you have your new card?? BCBS sent me PPO cards, even though I switched to HMO..I had gone to the doc in 12/07 but under PPO. he happens to be an HMO dr as well. They were supposed to send the referal in January, but failed to do so.   so, I went to my doc's office and said: whats up..they looked, no referal..they acted like they didnt even know who I was. They asked me if I even saw the doc. I had to re-decribe the series of events and make sure they knew what happend. I got my BCBS information, gave it to the nurse and they made the phone calls. Soooooooooo...now, I wait a week for the referal, then make the appoinment for the Lapband doctor (Dr. Joyce). My goal is to have the surgery on or before the 21st of Janurary. I have to rush because I dont have much sick time from work (new job) and I dont want to take off too much of my vacation time. I believe in everything is meant for a reason. Hopefully we can get this accomplished...I think I'll make a big fat chocolate cake to wollow in my depression..lolllllll KIDDING!!!!

KatrinaD

KatrinaD

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