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A new beginning

i'm starting over with my journey to have this surgery done. I thought maybe I could do it without -but I'm so heavy now, I don't even know where to start. I'm so lost in a sea of fat, that I can't find my way out by myself. I'm angry. At myself, at the insurance company, at doctors, at the people that screwed up the first time around and I wasn't able to have the surgery...but its a new day and I'm setting that anger into action to get things done better this time. I have a new insurance company (I have 2 of them, in fact!) So one way or another, I'm going to get my life back. It wasn't that long ago that I was happy and healthy. I need to be that person again.
circa

circa

1
 

Life begins.

I'm gathering a positive attitude. I've gotten so much taken care of, I'm off the steroids, I'm only on the necessary medications now. I feel a sense of relief knowing that there's a light at the end of the tunnel. My doctor has submitted for my approval for the surgery. Waiting on the insurance company now. After that, I get referred to the surgeon. I'm excited to get this going. I don't want to get my hopes up too far, but my BMI is high enough that I should be able to just go have the surgery done (never thought I'd be happy to have a high BMI). I wasn't going to have the surgery done locally because I live in a small town and there are a lot of nosey people around here. But I'm going to. Unfortunately, they don't do the surgery outpatient here yet. Though I might ask for it to be. We'll see. For as heavy and unhealthy as I am, I'm still pretty agile and strong. I don't have issues with breathing, no real co-morbities other than the ones my medications caused. I'm looking forward to this. To getting my life back. To strapping on a pair of running shoes and actually running again. I even bought a new pair. They're waiting for me.
circa

circa

1
 

My Journey Begins...

So my psych eval is scheduled for next Friday. I'm actually kinda stoked to go to one of these. I've never had anything like that done. I mean, I went to a counselor as a kid when my parents got divorced because my mother made me go - which sucked - I didn't have anything to talk about She thought I was all Emo and I wasn't. I didn't like her, I had nothing to say to the shrink and that was about it. So she tried to put me in drug rehab - I'd never touched a drug in my life - meanwhile, my sister is smoking pot, getting drunk and dropping acid IN THE HOUSE and my mother is oblvious to it lol. Anyway - enough about my goofy childhood. I'm looking forward to the psych eval. My advocate is a hoot - she's just hilarious. She was giving me some questions that get asked - about my history - the fact that I'm divorced (I'm remarried now). Family life, blah blah blah. Anyway - She said they'll ask me about the fact that a doctor put me on anti depressants and the fact that I did take them - I took them under protest, went to see a new doctor (my current one) was diagnosed with a genetic liver disorder (doesn't affect the surgery - already checked! :confused: ) and taken off the anti-depressants because I didn't need them. All they did was make me an insomniac zombie and that was at a very low dose! I tell ya, there's people in my family that are on anti depressants that, they have worked absolute wonders for. But I'm not one that needs them. I went to about 15 doctors that told me that I was depressed and that's why I was having all these symptoms. I swear they get a kickback from the pharmaceutical companies! Then again, some doctors I believe, are past their prime and need to retire as well. Blah anyway. I have a whole laundry list of complaints about doctors and an even longer list of some amazing doctors I've known throughout my life. Here's hoping my newest one is going on the amazing list!
circa

circa

1
 

waiting...

I'm just waiting for the surgeon's office to call me to come in for my first of 2 consults. I'm apparently going with Dr. Nizzi at Grand Traverse Surgery at this point and time. If they tell me it'll be 6 months, I'll be checking into other option in Grand Rapids, etc.   Ugh and I left my cell phone at home today - hope they didn't try to call me!
circa

circa

1
 

So yeah...

The doctor has changed my medications - I'm getting off the steroids as soon as possible (I have to be weaned) - Things aren't going that well with my treatments, but hopefully this changeup does some good. This will be the defining factor as to whether or not I go ahead with the surgery.
circa

circa

1
 

Still waiting....

I'm still waiting for the surgical center to call me and schedule my appointment. If they don't call me by end of day today, I'm calling them tomorrow. I don't like waiting for things! I'm not very good at being patient :tounge_smile:   I couldn't wait I called them today and the NP is reviewing my letter and it will be given to the scheduling coordinator who will be in on Thursday and Friday this week - hopefully I'll receive a call. The advisor there said that I could probably get in for an initial visit at the end of april/early may. But that its going to be 4-6 months for the process to continue after that - so I'm not too happy about that.
circa

circa

1
 

email

I got an email from my doctor yesterday - she has submitted to my insurance company for my approval. Now I'm just waiting to hear what the decision is. I can't imagine that I'd be denied. My BMI by the insurance company scale is 54.9, which hopefully will be considered 55 (never thought I'd be happy about that) - just means I can go right to surgery.
circa

circa

1
 

because....

because i like to be a pain in the ass, I called the insurance company - my visit to the surgeon for a consult has been APPROVED. :smile2: I'm going to call them and talk to them regarding it :tongue2:
circa

circa

1
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