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About this blog

Just me and adjusting to my new way of life! :)

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So I'm re-starting a blog before I go crazy...

So I had RNY on 1/27, the beginning of my new life! All smiles, all prepped, and the first few weeks were right on track with all my meds, fluids, water... PERFECTO! I was up and walking within a few hours of my surgery, no pain meds... I wasn't being superman, I just felt a mild discomfort from gas and my incisions more than any internal pains. I was rather happy with the exemplary outcome of all of that.   Anywho... unrelated to all of that. The reason I needed the surgery was Pseudotumor Cerebri (with Papilledema)... wtf is that, you ask? Women in "child bearing years" that are generally overweight, their bodies have this tendency to create extra spinal fluid (ALL the fluid in your skull, what you cry/fluid in your sinuses etc, is spiinal fluid). When the pressure builds up because this extra fluid has nowhere to go, the women needs a spinal tap ASAP or a shunt put in as a permanent surgical option to alleviate said extra fluid. I opted for frequent spinal taps.... not brilliant, but better than the shunt and MUCH better than my head exploding (which could happen if I fly or scuba dive, which are two of my favorite hobbies as I work for an airline and have my scuba certification... so... anyway...).   Enough of the medical background, I needed the RNY to drop more weight drastically (and quickly as the meds I was on were preventing this even with drastic workouts/physical activity/proper diets) so I didn't go blind and die due to the afore mentioned affliction. I got really sick in the middle of last year.... this is how 2015 went for me (I have a hidden super power and impulsively marry people too!) April I got married in Georgia to a former ex-hubby (longer story), he moved to Arizona in June... I got really sick in July and we both had to move in with my parents and had his cat in tow (I don't like cats and my parent's aren't fond of them either, they own a giant German Shepherd)..... so we've all been at my parent's home because of my illness keeping me from work a lot and my now hubby unable to motivate himself to find a second/better job, I was working as much as I could (I make a bit more money and was paying 90% of all of our bills before I got really sick and was still paying about 80% even when I wasn't able to work quite as much.. it drained all of my savings and retirement to keep us afloat, but I wasn't physically able to work a second job..). Anywho.. I am giving y'all way too much info.. but it was rough and we were really putting my parent's out... then come October/November I am working a bit more but I'm realizing the marriage thing was just a bad idea in all fronts and I am making all of "our decisions", doing all of the cleaning, and having to seriously nag to get things done... I don't like being this person, it isn't me. I tell him this, but things don't get any better as December comes. So I filed for Divorce on New Year's Eve.   With my illness, the need to regain control of my life and the need to rid myself of the toxic elements keeping me from being happy... it was a rough patch through the Holidays. But I am changing my life... I can't let toxic people, toxic places, or toxic things keep me from reaching the goals that I have set forth. I need to be healthy, alive, and happy... these are my very basic goals. My hubby bringing home pizza's every night after work, eating fast food 3-5 times a day, and not taking care of himself when I have tried to help him prep meals, go to the doctor's, take and have even packed lunches for him to take to work.... I just don't get why someone, especially knowing what I am going through and commiserating with me and telling me they also want to be healthier and better... would fail to even try, and then also try to impede me at great lengths as though we are children in grade school and not adults. It's all so ludicrous.   As we are living with my parents, I can honestly say that my habits have washed off on my parents quite a bit.. they pack their lunches and don't drink soda, they eat better, though they do still keep unhealthy stuff around... I don't care about any of that. I just appreciate that they understand what I am going through and though I don't expect them nor force them to live healthier, they enjoy living better and healthier! This definitely makes it a lot easier on me at home, even with my almost ex-hubby who isn't in line with us on this!   It's just a tense situation which will be rectified in the coming weeks when he moves out, I move myself up to Oregon/Washington State (where I want to be, transferring with my airline), and I keep on my current path of trying to be happy and staying positive!   It's just all crazy and so much going on. I feel horrible for my parents. I don't understand how some people can't truly be independent or take care of themselves, but I suppose that is just how life goes for some. I am glad to be feeling better, but this is only the beginning.   I take my frustrations out by going to the gym, and though I am not ready to go back to work.. I am heading back to work this week just to get myself back on a regular routine and get back to reality. It's been a wild 7-8 weeks off... but gotta get back to reality sometime, eh?
BlueBongo

BlueBongo

0
 

One month post-op, who'd a thunk it? lol.

So my very good friend that is going through this process with me had her surgery yesterday morning and I am officially one month post-op!   The first few weeks I after I was doing spectacularly... meeting all of my nutritional goals, getting in all my fluid, and getting in a ton of physical activity. I was healing like a dream. The pain was luckily minimal in my own case beyond the usual discomforts.   However, given all of the outside stuff going on and also being away from work for so many weeks I've just got way TOO much time to myself to focus on other less important things... and this has really been getting to me and grating on my nerves as I am dealing with quite a lot of stuff aside from just needing to focus on me and recovering from my RNY surgery. I've also been a bit depressed.   I know being a bit depressed is also normal. I just can't seem to shake it and it's driving me nuts... I decided on a whim to go back to work way earlier than anticipated merely to get myself out of the house more, back to work, and just back into a regular routine (plus it's nice to get paid to do stuff too, lol!). I've been a little stressed too with the random bills coming in from the surgery, plus the bills I am going to have to pay my employer once I get back for my medical benefits while I've been out... etc, etc... so anxiety, depression, stress... I'm not my usual bright ball of sunshine.   It's been really bad this past week since starting on the "soft food" phase of my diet. I know I am not getting enough protein , I am not eating enough period. I am getting all of my vitamins, yes. But I am not getting enough food or fluids. SO, I may just need to stop and go back to square one with my soups/puddings and whatnot from the liquid phase just to re-kickstart things... that is the general advice from the support group at my bariatric program; if you feel like you're having trouble, just start back at step one and slowly go from there.... I think I can do that and get back to where I need to be without sacrificing too much. I know most of it is this freaking depression that I've let overcome me... but I'm gonna try to start kicking it to the curb.   Hasta La Vista, Babay!
BlueBongo

BlueBongo

0
 

And then it all came crashing together... in a weirdly perfect way!

So my RNY was 1.27.16, it's been just over 4 months and I've been doing alright.. I'm down about 75 pounds and still dropping!   All in all, even with the weirdness of the past year and even the past few months... my life just sort of came perfectly crashing together last week in the most phenomenal way. I've been focused on myself and my health for the past year, finally back on track with EVERYTHING and decided to just sort of test the waters for myself in the ol' dating world by putting up profiles on POF and another site. Oddly enough 20 minutes after signing up, the second message I received was from a good friend of mine that I've had a crush on for a little while now and we decided to meet up for a late night cup of Coffee (I signed up at 12:40am.. and got the message at 12:55am.... when he was on his way home from work and I was setting up my profile!). So that cup of coffee turned into an early morning hike for several hours which turned into an all day date and looooooonnnggg discussions about life and the cosmos.   My life has been back on track and I feel like some funny little piece of karma had it's hand in Mike and I getting together too. We both work for an airline and just took a fabulous trip to Chicago last week. I am so pleased to be where I am at in life and have met someone that I am super excited about that is healthy and happy, wanting the same in me!   I dunno, I know it's still a "honeymoon" phase as they like to call it.. but I am still over the moon excited about my love life and about just being in such a great place overall. I haven't been this healthy, this happy, or this motivated in so many years..... I can't imagine going back to where I was before starting this life changing adventure last year! I am grateful for every day and look forward to all the tomorrow's I will be lucky enough to see!   Here's to love, happiness, and enjoying the little things in life!
BlueBongo

BlueBongo

2
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