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Shaping a "New ME"

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Shaping a "NEW ME"

Several years ago I had my first stroke, it had left me completely numb on my right side. After months of PT my body began to respond. Unfortunately, the meds and lack of movement had caused me pack on the pounds. I am a little short, so even 5 pounds made me look like one the umpa (on the movie Charlies's Choc. factory)... I was given a lot of steroids and could not stop eating. My family was very kind, never wanted to upset me, so I would comfort myself with food. A food did I eat..I remember sitting here in my living watching the movie "intimation of life" and stuffing heated grazed donuts one after another, ( I think I had downed 6 or more), at the same time crying watching the movie.   Prior to my sleeve, I had gotten close to 275lbs, felt awful. I have three grand children and didn't have the energy to play with them. I really took a good look in the mirror and started crying my heart out, literally caused myself to have a panic attack. Self pity is dangerous. I started to stay in bed, no interest in anything..I was simply just here, non-existing.   On the morning of Sept. 9, 2014 I called my doctor and told her I needed help. I was having thoughts that was not ones of getting better, but ones of despair and fear of dying. At first we tried the main stream diet plans, to no avail. Next, she sent me to a therapist to try talk therapy, it worked for a while until she wanted to continue to dig deeper; so we ended that.   I had another mini stroke in Jan 2015, not as disabling as the first but enough damage to have to start all over again. But, it was a blessing. I had come to terms that the eating habits and my weight were my worse enemies So, at 279 pounds I went back to my doctor and told her, we have to do something..She agreed and I had my first visit with my surgeon.. I was told for the next couple of months I would have to do the diet to stink my liver and heed the strict diet plan he had given me. I knew was going to hard, but the life I had been living was not LIFE.   I had been having problems with my knees for awhile and one day, I had just fell, crushing my knee caps..so, the doctor decide to do surgery. A total knee replacement. I had the left knee replaced three years ago..IT is not a easy recovery. My surgery went well. I had to go back to theory again. Back on steroids, developed the pumpkin face and water retention. I was ready to throw in the towel..But, out the mouth of babes..my youngest grand babies, age 3 crawled on my lap and said, while rubbing my tummy says "meme, the you get the bad bumps on your tummy and legs you can get on the floor and play cars with me and we won't have to sit on the bed to play anymore..well, my goodness, it was all i could do to not cry..I made a promise to him and myself..I will become a better fit meme.   On Aug. 21, 2015 I had my sleeve done. To date (Nov. 29) I started at 252lbs, now at 218 (which I did gain two pounds, hoping water gain). I am going to only shakes today and tomorrow in hope that I loose those two pounds and more.   I appreciate all the support I have been receiving..I will keep anyone in prayer for success and will post as I go through the next stage of living...,
Theresa64

Theresa64

2
 

Surrounding the holiday

Wow! The dreaded holiday is coming to an end. I didn't do very well during the last three days. Golly, everywhere I went, food, food and more food. I don't know if I am the only one, but, it was hard. I did gain back three pounds, my own fault. (cookies and pies) the evil twins for me. Thank goodness, a new year..A fresh start.   I have been learning how to relax. Sound silly, but I have learned that stress is a huge start of my gain. So, I found some great tricks to calm myself down and relax in lieu of overeating.   The last few months were not going well for a lot of people in my family. We have faced with cancer, MS, and strokes. Knowing how stress and idle time leads to eating aimlessly to help time pass, or help people by cooking for them, eating with them..etc...I was just about to give it all up for the almighty "potato"...   I will continue to humble my life, and I will peacefully unfold the thinning person within. I don't require perfection, only the willingness to see the truth about the person I am now and strive to unfold the layers of fats and unworthy habits I had held on for years. I will from now on see each moment as a chance to make this change permanent, and be willing to forgive myself.   Stress is largely created by how we think about things and how much we pay attention to our own thoughts. My thought, always seeing myself as large, the voice in my head always telling me you are not strong enough well, I now laugh in the mirror and say " you are thin"..Stress had been pushing me right into failure; but, not anymore. I will be bring more peace and happiness into each day as it comes, and I continue to accept the peace and not fight it.   We are our own hero's (one who is aligned with one's true self) guided by something other than the thought-stream (the voice in the head). The hero is guided by another stream, which many have the flow. The flow is reality; it is what is actually happening her and now. It isn't something that is happening in someone's imagination or that something that happened long ago or something that will happen in the future. Hense, relaxing, maintaining that peace when everything look completely impossible will be my NEW outlook from now on..It is totally our decision to be a peace, or react and do the wrong thing, for me stress eating.   I hope this post doesn't sound too far out there, but,, I have letting the stress roll off my back, and taking of me and the pounds are starting to come off again..       Happy New Beginning
Theresa64

Theresa64

2
 

Shaping a "NEW ME"

Several years ago I had my first stroke, it had left me completely numb on my right side. After months of PT my body began to respond. Unfortunately, the meds and lack of movement had caused me pack on the pounds. I am a little short, so even 5 pounds made me look like one the umpa (on the movie Charlies's Choc. factory)... I was given a lot of steroids and could not stop eating. My family was very kind, never wanted to upset me, so I would comfort myself with food. A food did I eat..I remember sitting here in my living watching the movie "intimation of life" and stuffing heated grazed donuts one after another, ( I think I had downed 6 or more), at the same time crying watching the movie.   Prior to my sleeve, I had gotten close to 275lbs, felt awful. I have three grand children and didn't have the energy to play with them. I really took a good look in the mirror and started crying my heart out, literally caused myself to have a panic attack. Self pity is dangerous. I started to stay in bed, no interest in anything..I was simply just here, non-existing.   On the morning of Sept. 9, 2014 I called my doctor and told her I needed help. I was having thoughts that was not ones of getting better, but ones of despair and fear of dying. At first we tried the main stream diet plans, to no avail. Next, she sent me to a therapist to try talk therapy, it worked for a while until she wanted to continue to dig deeper; so we ended that.   I had another mini stroke in Jan 2015, not as disabling as the first but enough damage to have to start all over again. But, it was a blessing. I had come to terms that the eating habits and my weight were my worse enemies So, at 279 pounds I went back to my doctor and told her, we have to do something..She agreed and I had my first visit with my surgeon.. I was told for the next couple of months I would have to do the diet to stink my liver and heed the strict diet plan he had given me. I knew was going to hard, but the life I had been living was not LIFE.   I had been having problems with my knees for awhile and one day, I had just fell, crushing my knee caps..so, the doctor decide to do surgery. A total knee replacement. I had the left knee replaced three years ago..IT is not a easy recovery. My surgery went well. I had to go back to theory again. Back on steroids, developed the pumpkin face and water retention. I was ready to throw in the towel..But, out the mouth of babes..my youngest grand babies, age 3 crawled on my lap and said, while rubbing my tummy says "meme, the you get the bad bumps on your tummy and legs you can get on the floor and play cars with me and we won't have to sit on the bed to play anymore..well, my goodness, it was all i could do to not cry..I made a promise to him and myself..I will become a better fit meme.   On Aug. 21, 2015 I had my sleeve done. To date (Nov. 29) I started at 252lbs, now at 218 (which I did gain two pounds, hoping water gain). I am going to only shakes today and tomorrow in hope that I loose those two pounds and more.   I appreciate all the support I have been receiving..I will keep anyone in prayer for success and will post as I go through the next stage of living...,
Theresa64

Theresa64

0
 

The thin within!

So very frustrated, self induced. After the holiday I had gained 5lbs., now paying dearly. I had started on Monday with my back on track program...It has been so difficult. The first two days, just protein shakes, yesterday I had shakes, and eggs; but for some reason on the scale yesterday I was 215, this morning 217lbs. WHAT It has only been three days. It has to be fluid. I do remember that last night my tummy was really bloating and it was hard to get liquids in..Now, I feel defeated.   I had watch the doctors on television. A women who had lost 235 pounds, but had a lot of sagging skin..My goodness I became so upset. I have the skin starting to hang. SO puzzled. Lipedema is the caused for this problem. The patient holds the fluids and fat stays on the body.   Access skin doesn't go away on its on. It has to removed via surgery. The liquid and fat remains. Has anyone experienced this? Scary. I know I have to become more active, to rid me of all these aches and pains. My energy level has very taken a beating. I hope the next couple of months are a lot better then the pass five months. I have learned that I cannot cheat, have to more disciplined.   It has been three days today since I started, the scales says 3lbs since Monday, but, yesterday morning I was 215lbs. 2 lbs..Makes me crazy.   I have to huge discovery, I HAVE TO reprogram my mind and thoughts again. I remember the first month was tough, but, the pounds were falling out. After the shakes and moving in whole foods is what has throw me over the hill. If anyone is reading this, please I am in need of direction and assistance.   Thankfully appreciated.   Theresa from Delaware
Theresa64

Theresa64

0
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