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My way back to health

Entries in this blog

 

Starting a new phase of life

As I write this my daughter is in labor and our first grandchild is soon to make an appearance. This seems like the perfect culmination to a year of incredible change since my sleeve surgery. I;m down over 150 lbs from last year, as well as countless clothing sizes. I'm now making the transition from losing to living and the birth of a grandchild really underscores my amazing transformation. I started this process because my body couldn't handle my weight anymore and I was in pain and feeling helpless. I now feel alive and empowered. I read before surgery about how the after effects were felt in every aspect of your life and i doubted it could be so. Was I wrong.. New found confidence in life and the future are a wonderful bonus form successfully going through the process. I am ready for what will come and I know that my new grandson grandson (and future grandchildren) will greatly benefit from a more involved and active grandfather.

fernandfj

fernandfj

 

In an anger rut

I have lost more in the past six months than I thought possible and I am starting to really comprehend how deep the changes have been regarding my health and habits. But, I am pissed at myself because i have stopped exercising! It's been about two months now that my exercise activity has dropped from almost daily to four or five times a week, to two or three times a week and now less than once a week. I am still losing, although my weight loss has slowed to about 2 lbs a week (which is still awesome!!!!). I am only 20 lbs from goal, and I know I will make it. Yet, I am still angry about not exercising and not finding the motivation.   Actually, I seem to be angry about everything. I just get pissed all the time at the littlest things. My family is walking on eggshells around me, worried that they will upset me. What the hell is going on? I have achieved something I am proud of. My body doesn't hurt anymore. I feel like I can tale anything on. YET, there is this seething beneath the surface that just won't quit. I recognize that the anger exists (yeah therapy), now I just have to get to the bottom of it. Could I really be so upset that I can't eat as much or as many things as I used to? Am I really missing food that much? I have to get over it, because I have not come this far to not enjoy this new opportunity!

fernandfj

fernandfj

 

Losing a small person and feeling good about it!

OK, so today is seven months since my surgery and I have lost a small person (about 125 lbs). It's hard to wrap my head around that. I am still having serious issues with exercise (or the lack thereof) and finding motivation for working out. My eating is going better, and I am tolerating a lot more foods. Even when they don't go down right, they at least stay down. I am also not understanding calories. I upped my calories from 1000 to about 1100 and my weight loss has picked up. I am also focusing on protein (125+ gms per day) and I am feeling better. I am very close now (8 lbs) from my goal, but my Doc is urging me to go 15 lbs beyond that so that when I bounce back it my weight will still be within goal. I have also discovered lots of snacks at the bariatric pal store and I have been integrating them into my diet. I'm happy where I am right now and looking forward to keeping the positive momentum going!

fernandfj

fernandfj

 

Almost down 100!

Hard to believe it's almost been twenty weeks since my surgery and I am down 99.2 lbs from my high weight prior to the pre-op diet! I am having a hard time with food, as more and more things seem to upset my stomach. I still do best with rare and raw meats, but how much carpaccio and sashimi can you eat before you can't stand it anymore? I even purchased a meat grinder to start grinding my own fresh meat to make raw kibbeh and beef tartare! I know many find the thought of raw beef overwhelming but it sits best n my stomach and any day I can avoid returning my food is a victory. My surgeon says that this stage will last a month or two more, and I can't wait until I can eat a greater variety of things.   Lots of NSVs the past few weeks. I have dropped over 10 inches in pants waist sizes and I'm now using L shirts and they fit loosely! I get pulled aside at work all the time by people telling me how great I look after the weight loss. I did this to be healthy again, but the positive reinforcement is wonderful!   I am having trouble however keeping up with my exercises. I have gone from 7 days a week to 3 but I've added strength training with resistance bands in addition to my cardio work out. I actually feel guilty when I go two or three days without exercise! Now I just need to turn my guilt to action and get back to a good exercise rhythm. I also can't shake my compulsion to weigh daily. I am dutifully recording what I eat on myfitnesspal.com and that seems to ease my obsession with weight and I recently went away for a week and did not weigh myself but right after I came back I'm at it again daily!☹️   Life is good right now and I am still really happy I did this. My wife remains my biggest fan and supporter and I know that I could not have come as far as I have without her! Tomorrow I have my monthly check in with my nutritionist and we'll see how that goes. She is co concerned that my weight loss is too fast and I may be losing more muscle mass than she'd like. We'll see what she says tomorrow. I am happy with the weight loss and know that I am in better shape now than I have been in many years.

fernandfj

fernandfj

 

Christmas wishes

So, it's Christmas eve. AT this time of year, I send more time reviewing what happened over the past twelve months. It's been an incredible journey for me, going from really being depressed about my state of health to beyond hopeful after dropping over 100 lbs. No present is better than what I have given myself with the surgery and the work afterwards - a brighter, healthier future. I;m very happy and thankful for that. I also seem to be getting over the testosterone rage from all the testosterone flooding my system after the fat loss. The past few weeks I have calmed down,and I thank God my wife had the patience to ride out this storm with me. Now I look forward to what will come in 2016 and beyond. I will look at my family this Christmas and be thankful that I will be around longer to enjoy them. What a great gift!   I wish everyone a wonderful holiday season and a bright and joyous, and much lighter, 2016!

fernandfj

fernandfj

 

Who, what , where and when... (why is pretty obvious)

I'm a 51 year old guy that has spent the better part of three decades letting my weight define me. It was always a convenient excuse for anything that went wrong - health, problems at work (fat haters...), relationship issues. etc. A dozen years ago i married a wonderful woman who opened my eyes to this, but it still took me until this year to finally do something about it. Actually, it took my body saying enough, through ever growing pains, high blood pressure and sleep apnea to leave me no choice (if I wanted to have any semblance of quality of life, that is)   So, I bit the bullet and decided in late May to have WL surgery. I opted for a sleeve and had the surgery July 29. I am 5"10" tall and weighed 347.8 lbs when I made the decision, and after the two week liquid diet my surgery weight was 331.8. Two months and lots of effort later, I weighed in this morning at 288.2! The journey has not been easy, but really worth it.   Along the way, I have begun to exercise regularly (I bought an old Nordic Track and have been using it religiously every day), have fought my food desires (mostly successfully) and recognized that the surgery was only the first phase. I have tried eating what I should not or in ways I shouldn't (bread, pasta, too much or too fast) and suffered the pain and nausea (who though such a little sleeve could make you feel soooooooooooooooooooooooooo bad).   I have also had the joy of watching old clothes disappear almost as quickly as the weight. I have obsessed at the scale and fretted over stalls and, God forbid - weight gain. I have watched my friends and family eat heartily and felt the the pangs of remorse. But the I would get up (without pain or strain) and realize that I had indeed embarked on a new life. As I moved around more freely, the regret would slip away.   Sorry for the rambling, but at this point, it's a jumble of feelings that I am trying to organize and understand. So far, the problems, while overwhelming at the moment they occur (especially when I eat what I shouldn't or too fast), rapidly fade in comparison to how good I am feeling and how mobile I have become. I remain committed to this journey. Wish me luck!!!!

fernandfj

fernandfj

 

14 weeks and holding steady

I'm 3.5 months out from surgery and my weight loss progresses although it is slowing down. I am down 82 lbs from my high weight and 66 since surgery. I am feeling great and I have dropped from a 50 to a 42 waist and from XXXL to L in shirts. I am really happy with my results so far!   My eating has been a problem. however. I have discovered some really good items in the store here that I am eating an awful lot of - the soups and protein cereals. I am having a hard time digesting cooked meats, and once a week on average the meal comes back up. The protein cereal in particular goes down real smooth and feels wonderful in my gut. I have slowed down my eating and taken ever smaller bites but it hasn't helped. I know its not that I ate too much or too fast as the problem usually occurs about 1 hour after eating when I just can't seem to digest something. I get hiccups, then I start salivating so much that I can't talk because my mouth fills up. After about 30-45 minutes of this, the food usually comes up. I've told my doc and nutritionist and they say that this can happen and all I can do is power past it and note what causes the problem. They suggested searching for alternatives, hence my new found love of protein based cereals!   It's strange, I seem to be more fixated on food than ever, but not on quantity. My worry is whether or not something new will stay down. I seem to do much better with raw foods (sashimi, carpaccio, kibben nayeh) but I am started to get tired of raw stuff. I also have such a small capacity in my stomach (maybe 3 oz) that I fill up with my protein and barely get to the veggies.   HOWEVER. IT IS WORTH IT!!!! I haven't felt this good in years and I am off all my meds and my CPAP! The only thing I take is omeprazol and my vitamins! I really enjoy being able to get up and move around without pain. It's wonderful to walk up a flight of stairs and not feel like my heart will beat so hard it will pop out of my chest. Getting the surgery was definitely the best thing I did for myself in quite some time!

fernandfj

fernandfj

 

Latest weight

Had my weigh in today with the nutritionist and things are still going steady. They use one of the scales that uses electrical currents to gauge your fat/non-fat percentages and it showed I lost 3/4 muscle to 1/4 fat. I am doing 30 minutes of cardio a day so I hoped that my muscle mass would at least hold steady. I am happy at the continued weight loss, but bummed at the mix. I know I must stay the course, but why am I so fixated on the bad news (muscle vs fat loss) rather than the good (20 lb loss in 5 weeks!!!)????

fernandfj

fernandfj

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