I am weighing in at 186 this morning and it is near my lowest sustained adult weight and yet I feel like a FAT failure. I am 18 months post op from band to sleeve revision and I was supposed to weigh 135 pounds (in my mind) by now. Instead? I got down to 169 pounds around month eight but could not sustain. Have mainly hovered at 182 for the past year but this past month I have been up and down from 185-192 pounds. I started a reset today and really need to get myself back on track. I need to get to goal! I am worth it!
This is my story...
I have been overweight since age five. I don't recall this specifically, I have just seen the pictures. I never really felt any of the negativity that others associate with being 'fat'. I had friends and did everything I wanted to do. When I hit teen years, I had friends and I suppose I could blame a lack of boyfriends on my weight; but truly, I was shy. I did try every diet imaginable from age 20-36... but nothing really stuck. I liked food and it would always win. Over the years, I became successful in my career in banking and never felt passed over for promotions because of my weight. Life was moving along. But, I began to feel tired... really tired. I was a single mom of a two year old managing a full-time career and a mortgage. I told myself that it was normal. Eventually, I decided to see my doctor. After many tests, I was diagnosed with many things: hypothyroidism, high blood pressure, arthritis, sleep apnea, etc. All these things were manageable with meds... but the root seem to lie in my weight. I got medically approved for LapBand. I had surgery in Dec 2009. At my heaviest I was 262 lbs. I did lose a lot of weight and got my energy back. I stopped all my meds (not with my dr support). I landed at 199-210 range and stayed there for years. The band had been amazing for my health, but I did throw up occasionally and have "stuck" moments. Eventually... it was a regular occurrence. So, in May 2015, I decided to have my band removed and revise to gastric sleeve. My friend and I went to Mexico together and had the surgery. I weighed 211 before surgery. The surgery went great and I am happy to be free of the band and looking forward to getting to a healthy BMI.
So, I just decided to blog and I am at week 10. This is just a recap:
Week 1: Mexico was good to me. No surgery issues and felt amazing.
Week 2-4: Was not hungry... but did try to maintain protein shakes and water.
Week 4- My one month before and after pics were great! Down to 188lbs!
Week 5-7: So exhausted!! Got down to 185 lbs and hit a stall.
Week 8: No more weight loss, but my 2 month pics are telling a better story. Down from 18/20 to 16 (even some 14).
Week 9: Feeling constipated again (ongoing issue since surgery). I use the Smooth Move Tea but it is not smooth.... it makes me sick half the next day, but it works. I have read forums and tried different remedies with no help...so miserable tea it is.
Week 10: Scales are moving again! 181 lbs. I also got a FitBit and am starting to exercise more. Should have been exercising more all along but between the tiredness and the rain I was unmotivated.
Monday will be Week 11 and I will try to post more details as I go. It has been a challenging time. I am happy with my progress... I read a lot on the forums about revisions being slower to lose. I am so happy to not be puking and back to losing that for right now I won't complain!
Yesterday marked 3 months since my band-to-sleeve revision. I feel good! I have lost 32lbs so far. I am starting to do some jogging on my walks and am determined to be a runner someday. I just think runners seem so free and I love that idea! My weight loss has not been easy.... slow and stall prone. I re-evaluate every day. I use Fitbit and myFitnessPal which have been helpful. Today, I was I reviewing my food journal and noticed that my carbs are too high. I am not a huge meat eater so my protein choices are typically cheese, cottage cheese, greek yogurt, beans and protein shakes. I posted on the forum today requesting ideas for better protein options and plan on shopping this evening!