TomG's Blog

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Greeting everyone. well where to start. Maybe the beginning, however in this blog there will be many beginning so why not start with who am I? The name is Tom. I am 59 this September. I am married to a wonderful, yet sometimes difficult woman. I have raised 5 children - 3 stepkids and 2 of our own. I also help with my grandson for a number of years so our daughter could "get on her feet", I am employed as an analyst and will be able to retire next year (doesn't mean I will). I enjoy the outdoors, pets and animals, and travel, gosh this really is sounding like an ad you might find at a dating site! Why don't I move on to another beginning. The beginning of my weight problem/issues. I don't really remember when I got heavy, I know there were stories told about me as a very young child walking around the neighborhood with my belly hanging out looking for cookies from the neighbors. Everyone laughed. When I went shopping for clothes we always ended up in the boys husky department - I always hated that. The first real memory I have of being heavy was when I was older - probably around 14 or 15, a friends big brother came by as we were playing and asked when I was getting a bra? Funny how that comment stuck with me for over 40 years. Next real memory where weight was the issue was in high school, I was on the wrestling team and weight enough as a freshman to be placed in the heavy weight division. During practices I had to practice with the coach since he was the only one in my weight class, that wasn't cool. Growing up, food for myself and my family was always presented as a social thing. We ate, drank, laughed, told about what happened during the day, these were all things that I enjoyed and participated in. As I got older and moved out on my own, I brought these practices with me. Eating was a social event, not just for sustenance. And as life went on, so did I and with it was a gradual increase in weight. It kinda sneaks up on you. So, with these couple of paragraphs, you now might see - as I did, when I self-analized myself and after my wife started mentioning I was getting way heavy.That maybe those couple of cruel remarks or practices along with my growing up that food was alway part of our sociability might had contributed to my weight. Those same items might have also help form who I am in a social sense. I am painfully shy even at this age and I cope with it by forcing myself not to be - had to for work and just used it in life as needed. And now, the person sitting here writing this is a 59 year old fat guy with type 2 diabetes, copd/sleep apnea, BMI over 30, heart issues, cholesterol issues neuropathy issues and too shy to easily join a support group. Now I am absolutely NOT looking for sympathy or anything else, I did this to myself and it's time I take responsibility for the weight issues and deal with it. And I am now dealing with it. My doctor told me back in Nov 2014 (when I weight 303) that I would die if I didnt' do something about the weight. Believe me when I say he was serious! So it got me thinking. The kids were all grown, and I am almost ready to retire and what should I expect, to retire and die? Leave my wife a widow? Not have the opportunity to enjoy life after working so hard to get to where we are? No that's not what I wanted for myself or my wife. What I wanted was many, many more years to travel with my wife, meet new people and friends, and enjoy life without any burdens such as needing a CPAP machine, you know, stuff fat people deal with! So the decision was to have gastric bypass surgery. In that discussion with the doctor, I asked why bypass instead of a band or sleeve. He responded that he was in concurrence with my doctor and needed to loss weight and loss it fast due to my age and this would be the most successful way to achieve that. I did a lot of research and decided it would be a good option for me, especially since dieting (which I seldom stuck) would work and the other methods weren't extreme enough for what my doctor wanted for me. I started the whole process about 5 months ago, did the psych evaluation, went to the dietician class and met with the dietician and the PA a number of times, all the things the insurance company wanted in order to approve the claim. It took longer than the typical 3 month plan becauses of work issues but we are ready to go now. I am 22 days away from surgery and am actually excited about this new beginning. Tomorrow the final labs, chest x- ray, upper GI and EKG. Then next week I am out of town to visit my sis, come back and immediately go on the liquid diet for 12 days. Then the surgery.... So while I'm excited, there is a level of concern or maybe fear in this new beginning? Will I succeed or fail? Will I be able to handle the portion control? I'm doing this without much support from family and do I fully understand what I am giving up and is it worth it? I hope I can honestly answer all the questions the way I need to in order to support this decision and I also hope to maybe make some like minded friends on this site who might be able to supply an encouraging word here or there as I certainly will do for them. Time will tell. I must run for now but I'll be back. Take care.

TomG

June 18, 2015

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