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Believe's Blog
 

How do I know how much to eat?

I am eight days post-op and healing really great. But I am really worried about how much I'm supposed to be eating or drinking on phase II. When I have cream of chicken soup, should I have 4 or 8 ounces? Protein shake, 4 or 8 ounces? Pudding, 1/2c or 1/4c. They say let your body tell you when. Bad news, I haven't been able to feel a cue from my gut in a lot of years! I feel like I'm starving, but am scared to death to eat too much and ruin this really costly surgery I just paid for . Any suggestions would be awesome!!
Believe

Believe

4
Neuanfang's Blog
 

Calorie consumption

OK, my questions is .... how many calories are doc's telling you to consume about 4 - 5 weeks out? I am still on soft foods but was never told by my doc or the NUT (whom I only saw one time) about how many calories to consume. If anyone has that information I would be glad to read about it.
Neuanfang

Neuanfang

3
marnimae's Blog
 

got my first fill today!!!

I went to the doctors today and got my first fill! Yahoooooo!! Finally I feel like I am getting somewhere. This unbelievable hunger has come over me the past ten days or so. I think it was because I was totally healed and no inflammation was left after the surgery, at least that is what my nutritionist explained to me sometimes happens, but I think with me going to stage 5, I had free range and cravings I could have fresh food, fruit &veggies ohhh I have missed them. Anyway it didn't help but i have maintained so I am glad, but I could have gained easily if not for exercise and telling myself over and over over the fill is around the corner. I had 3 cc put in and will go back in two weeks. I had no pain, the needle sting was super quick and I could feel something going on, it was strange but not uncomfortable and I noticed at dinner a difference. I think this week is going to be interesting, seeing if I notice a difference. Hopefully another fill or two & I can wear my bandster tiara & my big girl panties and start to my path of getting under the 200 lb mark, oh to be able to put my wedding band on, my fingers have been too fat for years, it is a goal I set. I went down two sizes but, I feel like I am one of those that needs to lose 50lbs before I really can see it. I mean I see it in my face and my midsection, but nothing significant. Time to start trying some exercise dvds, hip hop abs looks good, I found some cool workouts on interest for tightening your bum and legs. Anyhow that is all for now.
marnimae

marnimae

1
lellow's Blog
 

Commitment

I am committed to me being my best. This means I will not:   - Reward myself with food. I love food, and I love beautiful tasting food, but it's not a reward, I am not a dog. I have to maintain a healthy relationship with food, which means I can enjoy it without it being the centre of my life.   - Forgot that that for most people, achieving 'fullness' at every meal is not their goal. This is something I realised just recently. My partner is not a big guy, and he stops eating when he's no longer hungry. I have spent my whole life stopping only when I'm full. This is a FUNDAMENTAL difference between us, and the reason I have struggled with my weight all my life. But not any more.   - Tell myself I don't have time. If I can find time to be there for others, I can find time to be there for me. Whether it's exercising, sitting on the couch reading a book, or just doing what I want to do instead of what someone else wants to do. In this way, I nourish myself and allow myself to be a better person for everyone around me.   - Focus on being skinny instead of being healthy. This is important - I got to a BMI of 21 at one stage, and my ribs were showing and my hip bones stuck out. I had no muscle tone to speak of. That's not healthy. My BMI is 24 now and I get sick less, I feel strong, and I feel womanly. My body fat percentage is lower now than when my BMI was 21. I was so focussed on losing, I was losing sight of why I did this, which was to be healthy.   - Hate my body. It has borne 4 beautiful kids, and my eldest is now 23 and watching how women hate their bodies and themselves in the process. That's not a lesson I want my daughter to learn. I have parts of me that I don't like, that's just human nature and it's silly to pretend I could stop doing that, and that's actually ok in small doses, but I will not hate my whole self. I am beautiful, whether I was big or small, and I am the same person on the inside. And I will value that, even if society may not (yet).   - Compare myself to others. This is part of the above point too. Envy is a nasty, self-destructive thing. "I wish I was younger, prettier, smarter, thinner, richer". I now say "I want to be happy" and to do that, I need to stop hurting myself by wishing my life away and not seeing the things I should be thankful for.   - Sit by and do nothing. Counting my blessings doesn't mean I just sit by crying into my soup about the things in my life that make me unhappy either. I change what I can if it's important to me, don't change what isn't important and accept what I can't change. And know that no one is responsible for my happiness but me.   I'm writing this because in the last few years these ideas have formed in my head but I've never said them out loud in one place. Yet I think it's important for me now to see it in black and white. And while it's not just about me being a lapbander, but a person, I thought that this was a good place to put it.
lellow

lellow

3
Just another journey...
 

Step one....again

Well, hello all. I suppose this will be where I will share the journey of my future sleeve. I'll start off all formal.   My name is Eric. I am a 28 year old oil field mechanic working for one of the largest well services companies in the world. I love my job, always have. I have been in south Texas for roughly 3 years now, last 2 I have spent in a supervisor role managing equipment repairs in our maintenance department. The first 4 years of my career I spent as a field mechanic living out of an F-550 service truck. Spending that much time on the road, in hotels and sleeping in a truck really kills any good intentions of eating well. in the last few years, I put on about 70-80 lbs. But enough about work. I currently weigh in at 376 lbs with a BMI of 52 I believe, seeing this number hurt. I don’t "feel" 376 lbs. I stay very active at work, walking close to 5 miles a day just around the facility, so I suppose staying up and on my feet doesn’t allow the weight to take its toll on me the way a sedentary person would, i guess. You could say that I am on the healthier side of morbid obesity (lol) as in, I take no medications, my BP is spot on, blood work has always been good. I have no bad number but my weight. So maybe that’s why I don’t "feel" 376. Maybe someone with a similar feeling can give me their take on that.   I am lucky to be married to an awesome girl, who herself had the lap band put in about 4 years ago or so and dropped close to 100 lbs. Watching her struggle was tough, but we got through it together and I think I put on all the weight she lost. She is behind me 100% and I know for a fact this will be very important in the months to come.   About 6 months ago, I had my first consultation with a clinic in San Antonio only to find out a month later that the hospital they use for the surgery wasn’t "approved" by my insurance as a facility to perform the procedure; obviously, this was a progress killer. I became kind of bummed about it and let it go. Here we are in June, (bite me, I'm a few days late ) and decided that I wanted to try another stab at it. So I found an approved hospital, and then tracked down a doctor that used it; backwards i Know, but had to be done. So last Thursday I had another consultation, awesome doc, nice staff and has totally re-lit the fire that I had 6 months ago. I the six months that passed between consultations, I had only gained 3 lbs, not bad i guess considering my bad habits.   So thats me in a nutshell. I'm here, ready to do this. Started my 3 months of supervised weight loss per insurance regs, and I am going to take it seriously. I'm tired of being the big guy. I put a few before pics on here from my wife and I's diving vacation in the caribbean from last August, I think I will use these as my before pics, because the Caribbean has been our best dive trip so far, so good memory with a fat picture, haha.     Later,   Eric
easye256

easye256

3
ladybabie3's Blog
 

Im so happy

Hello all, I know I haven't been on in a while but I'm happy to report that I'm under 200 pounds. I weighted myself today and I weighted in at 198 I'm so freakin happy. Hard word and determination really do pay off. I'm living proof. :wub:
ladybabie3

ladybabie3

2
lucy00us' Blog
 

July 3rd is "The day"!

First doctor visit : 01/31/13 Weight on first visit: 334 lbs. Insurance : Aetna Schedule surgery day: 7/3/13 Current weight: 320 lbs   The day is almost here....after all my pre-ops appointments and tests, and insurance approval! two more days before the big day! I'm actually very anxious to the point of having palpitations this past weekend. I also had all kinds of dreams about the upcoming surgery.   I got my protein shakes, vitamins, calcium, biotin, and crystal light for flavor! do I need anything else????
lucy00us

lucy00us

0
Banded Jen's Blog
 

Do I NEED weight loss surgery?

I started my pre-op diet (Atkins - no more than 20 grams of carbs a day) last Tuesday. It's been relatively easy. I've only had a few times that it was truly difficult. The first time was the s'mores on vacation, the other was cutting the Bluebonnet Cafe pancakes for my son, and the third was the banana bread from yesterday. I overcame all of these events because I didn't want to jeopardize my surgery.   Today I weighed myself on my fancy new Weight Watchers scale and I have lost 8 pounds since starting the pre-op diet! While this is good news...it's made me question whether I should go through with surgery. Maybe I should just stick it out and keep working on it...But I know myself. Honestly and thoroughly...I know myself. I can sustain a program for a while, but as soon as I get off of it...I GO WAY OFF. The band will help me monitor myself.   I go in to meet my surgeon tomorrow. I really hope they weigh me and are excited about my loss so far. If this loss continues, at the end of next week I should be back to where I was before I jumped off of Weight Watchers in May.   I am looking at everyone's before and after surgery pictures. It is very inspiring, but I have a hard time imagining myself under 200 lbs again. A REALLY hard time. It's seemed so out of reach for so long, it feels like a fantasy to let myself think about it. Like I should be laughing at myself for thinking that far ahead.   In OTHER good news, a friend of mine that blogs a lot is going to work with me to fancy up my page and help me make it look more appealing. I had blog envy yesterday when I looked around at a lot of other blogs. I thought this blog was going to be helping me so that I didn't talk about weight loss, weight loss surgery, or the things I'm going to do after surgery during every waking hour. To the unspoken dismay of my friends and family...it has started working yet. I'm still blabbing away!   I can't wait to post about tomorrow!
Banded Jen

Banded Jen

5
Banded Jen's Blog
 

Pre-op Scoop

Okay, so I told you all about me, now I want to give you some background knowledge of what has happened since my decision to have the band:   First off, I did not go with gastric bypass or sleeve because those two surgeries scare the crap out of me. Stapling parts, removing parts, then gaining it back? No thank you! I like the adjustability of the lap band and the minimally invasiveness of the procedure. It feels safer.   Once I decided what I wanted, I asked around and talked to people that had gone through the procedure. Two people recommended True Results in Austin, TX. They both have had success and only regretted that they did not do it sooner. So I called and set up a free consultation. I think their job was to convince me that I should do it, but I went in there ready to schedule! Since I teach, I wanted to get it done as soon as possible in the summer. I met with a patient advocate who has lost 120 pounds himself and looks great. He talked with me, we discussed financing (my insurance won't cover it so it is $10K out of my pocket) and I was able to secure it through CareCredit. It was painless.   From there I went in to meet with my nurse practitioner. She is basically my case manager and will help me along after I am banded. I love going to that office because all of the chairs are HUGE! It makes me feel so tiny and petite! I met with my PA again and we scheduled all of my tests, appointments, and surgery. I went home super excited but a little scared.   My feelings have been up and down about this whole thing. Sometimes I feel excited and confident and other times I am scared that I won't be able to follow through. After all, I've never been successful at losing weight beyond 30 lbs, so why would I be successful this time? It's hard to break that feeling.   I met with my nutritionist two weeks ago and we discussed my pre-op diet and my post-op diet. I started my pre-op diet while on a family vacation. I thought it would stink to be on a diet during vacation, but my family was REALLY supportive and I think it made it easier to stay on track with so much accountability. This first phase is Atkins. Lots of meat, no fruit, sugar, bread, nuts, legumes. I can essentially have fat, meat, cheese to an extent, and vegetables. I can't exceed 20grams of carbs a day. A couple of times I have struggled, but I have not been off track. I've been going to Chick-Fil-A and getting a cup of grilled nuggets and a side salad. The full fat ranch dressing only has one gram of carbs, so I put that in too. There is also a lot of water drinking going on.   Some people have posted that they have to do a liquid diet for two weeks prior to surgery. Thank goodness that is not me!! Every time I feel sad about no carbs...I remember it could be MUCH worse! I made banana bread for my kids this morning and I thought I might die if I didn't have a bite. It smelled so wonderful. There were small bites of uneaten bread laying on plates that were literally calling my name to "just have a little taste". I refused and eventually they gave up. I struggled again when I sliced the extra loaves to put in bags and then in the freezer. I had to ask my husband to come in from weed eating to watch me so that I wouldn't sneak a bite.   So I meet my surgeon on Tuesday and get specifics about surgery. Woo woo!
Banded Jen

Banded Jen

0
Pret-Op Process & Struggles
 

Now I Wait....

Today was my last appointment with my nutritionist. I was beyond nervous. I was praying that I hadn't gained any weight and that everything would go as planned. Well I'm happy to report that I did not gain any weight and she said that she would be submitting my paperwork to the board for approval. So now I wait. I have to say that I'm not excited, nervous or anxious. I actually don't have any emotions going on right now. I guess because I don't want to get my hopes up only to get denied. So I'll keep you all posted. I should definitely have an answer before the end of this month. I'm praying that she gets my paperwork out for the July 9th meeting..we shall see!
SamG

SamG

0
aliekat55's Blog
 

FITBIT et al

I got myself a fitbit yesterday. A friend had a Nike product and i loved the idea that it would track my daily routines and I could see how much i was really exerting myself. with food we can count calories, carbs, whatever but with exercise it is harder to quantify. I researched it and these seem to be quite accurate, certainly consistent so I can compare day to day how active I really am. I am really good at fooling myself into thinking i ate less than I really did, or worked out more. Of the three products fitbit, jawbone and Nike/apple I like the nike best except that it did not monitor sleep. Since i have always had trouble with sleep i picked up the fitbit and besides it was $50 cheaper. For those of you interested, it was dead easy to set up and gives me exactly the feedback i want. It syncs with an iphone easily. it is supposed to sync with MFP but i have not managed to figure than out yet. I love to work out so i use it as motivation to do more, for those people that hate working out I could see this being a great tool to keep yourself honest.   I am two weeks away, actually minus 5 hours, but who is counting? Being a doctor I am mostly concerned about the complications, well actually just about leaks, the others I deal with on a regular basis and perhaps irrationally feel i can control. But a leak is such a difficult situation, particularly since I am self pay. the chances are slim, i know and the chances of a bad one are even slimmer. Nevertheless the path I am on is unsustainable, so no regrets, damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead. I a starting to tell the people closest to me. My daughters are supportive, my wife becoming indispensably so. I will tell a few coworkers this week, my mother (not ever?). For some reason this past week has been easy food wise, i am not particularly attracted to it and have managed to stay well below my goals, with only some mild head hunger before bedtime. Of course now i head into the fast dangerous rapids of the preop liquid diet. I intend to follow directions even though my research does not support this (IMHO it is silly) liquid diet before the surgery. Sure people do well with a 5%-10% weight loss prior to surgery, irregardless of how it is accomplished. I have already lost over 12% and am still losing even prior to the liquid diet. In my cynical days i wonder how much of a money maker it is for them and whether that colors their decision. But i do not want to think bad thoughts about the surgeon who will be operating on me, so i hush that cynic, probably until i am well past the recovery. Probably by then if successful i wont care so much.   By the way, did I mention my daughter is getting married this saturday? that I have to travel 1200 miles to get there? No matter, I plan to practice my new life, focus on the fun, the people, the activities, not on the food. Kind of like a dress rehearsal.
aliekat55

aliekat55

2
mylittletrips' Blog
 

Had surgery June 26th

Woke up from surgery June 26th and felt horrible. Walked the hospital halls and felt ill was given medication. This is day 6 and still have pain on my left side . The doctor said it was normal and it has gotten better each day. Looking forward to starting the next weeks thick liquid foods. I personally don't care for sweet stuff ,shakes and frozen pops . Looking forward to creamy soup !!! The first few days thought this wasn't worth it but now i'm down over 17 pounds !!!!
mylittletrips

mylittletrips

1
I will do this
 

Acceptance

I got up and went to the gym before work. Full 30 min on elliptical and full circuit of weights. My muscles are humming (tomorrow they will probably be screaming). Working out is a huge deal for me. I hate it. I resent it. I hate that I have to work so hard to feel good. Yeah, see - there's that entitlement thing again. I should just get to feel good and look good without any effort on my part.   Working out is a sign of acceptance for me. It says I accept that I have to work hard and not have everything I want. It says I accept that I have to wait to see results of my effort. It says I accept responsibility for the damage I have caused my body and it says I accept responsibility for changing that.   Not accepting these things is what lands me in that self-pity pit and kept me morbidly obese for the vast majority of my life. In 12 step meetings they say "Half measures availed us nothing." For me, only focusing on what I don't do or don't eat is only half. This isn't just about what I don't do. It's also about what I do. Especially since I got the band, it's relatively easy to not eat. Sure, I can get around it, but if I follow the rules, the band does most of that work for me. But the exercise - the proactive piece - that's all on me.   Do I want this or not? Am I willing to be an active participant in the process, rather than a passive recipient waiting for the weight loss fairy to visit me? If this is just about weight loss, then I suppose if I follow the rules and wait patiently, I will eventually get to goal weight. But it really isn't about just weight loss - otherwise it's just another in a lifetime of diets. This is a total transformation of my way of thinking about life, control, and personal responsibility. It is acceptance of reality, rather than insistence on maintaining my stubborn delusions of grandeur. Reality sucks - but at least it's real.   Shelly
srussell8

srussell8

1
beanie80's Blog
 

Post-op

I am happy to say I am now 5 days post-op lap band placement! These last 5 days have been very difficult, but I know it will be worth it in the long run. I've had to deal with a lot of pain issues and my body not agreeing with the pain medication. When I first got home i was taking Lortab 15ml every 3.5 hours. It was all way too much for someone who has never taken pain medication before. My abdomen was huge and swollen, and I was barely able to pee. The first night home was crazy, I was in so much pain and majorly drugged. I felt like I had bugs crawling all over my body and was constantly waking up from being 'stung' by the bugs. I can remember the pain of the stings were like little needles and I couldn't get away from them no matter what I did. My abdomen was also itching like crazy. When I got up in the morning and looked at my stomach I had a bright red, itchy rash from my sternum to my pelvic bone. Apparently I called my surgeon's office (I don't remember calling), and they determined I must have had an allergic reaction to hibicleanse (what they clean your stomach with to sterilize before surgery). Every day has gotten better physically, and I think I'm right on target to where I should be in the healing process. What has been difficult has been the emotional side of lap band. Every time I've been upset about something I've wanted to eat. I haven't cried in years and I have cried now twice in the last 5 days. By taking away my ability to staunch my emotions with food, I have had to deal with my feelings straight on. I knew this would happen, but it doesn't make dealing with it any easier. In a strange way it has been a sort of relief to know that I can still feel things and have emotions. I'm hoping that losing weight/lap band can help me to learn to be more open and vulnerable to other people. I hate admitting that I need other people in my life and that I can't do everything on my own. It makes me vulnerable and open to getting hurt and that is really scary for me. Maybe by taking away some of the fat that I shield myself with I can learn to let other people in again.
beanie80

beanie80

1
Flmomof2's Blog
 

2 and a half months out

So 10 weeks out and I've lost 38 pounds. I could have lost more if I was exercising but I haven't been. I bought a bike & was riding with my kids every night after school. Now the temps here are around 95 every day with high humidity and rain. The joys of summer in Central Florida. I should be working out indoors but I've been lazy. I'm determined to start now that I am settled into my new job (started 2 weeks ago) and am lighter. I had a great surprise today! I have a cocktail party to go to in 2 weeks and had nothing to wear. All my clothes are too big (Yahoo!!!). I went to Kohl's and found a dark navy lace dress that I thought was just gorgeous! I also thought "no way am I going to be able to wear this". Well, I had to have my daughter zip it (damn back zippers!) but IT FIT!!! And I looked amazing! I wanted to dance around the dressing room! I can't wait to knock 'em dead in 2 weeks! Inspiration to work out, too! I would love to see that dress a little loose next month! Good luck everyone!
Flmomof2

Flmomof2

3
lellow's Blog
 

Being satisfied with myself

I was asked recently, if I ever would be satisfied with myself. I'm having lipo in a week, where I'm getting a little bit of contouring on the lovehandles and backfat left over from the body lift, and some fat taken from my inner thighs. It won't be drastic by any means, it's just a little bit of shaping, really, but despite telling very few people (non-banders) about it, the resounding feedback seems to be that there's something wrong with me, because I don't seem to be happy with myself.   And yet, I think that's never been further from the truth. I am actually happier with myself than I have ever been in my life. It's because I like myself that I'm not thinking twice about doing this for ME. The difference is, that where I used to think that if I didn't like something, I had to suck it up and suffer, because how I felt wasn't important in the scheme of things, now I don't. I don't like something, I change it. I think I approach things with moderation and I'm not going to end up being nipped and tucked until I look like an alien, so it's not like I have some addiction to plastic surgery, I just want to look as good as I possibly can.   My whole life, I looked after everyone else: my man, my kids, my parents, my friends. I always came last. I was brought up to feel selfish for thinking of myself.   The lapband changed all that. I learned one important lesson in the last 5 years of being banded:   If you love yourself, you will look after yourself, you will make time for yourself, you will make your needs AT LEAST equal to the needs of the people you love. And if you look after yourself, you're being the best person you can be for the people you love too, and more importantly, a good role model for what good self esteem looks like. And if you're not happy with something, change it, because no one will change it for you, and YOU are the only one who can take control of your life.   I'm amazed at how we are constantly told that considering our own needs is a selfish thing to do, and then people wonder why we suffer from low self esteem. Break the cycle. I am not asking you to be a heartless, mean-spirited person to others, I'm asking you to learn to love yourself. It's because I AM satisfied with myself and love myself that I can choose what I want to do to make me happy.
lellow

lellow

1
hvdavis' Blog
 

Upcoming Surgery

My upcoming surgery is getting closer. The big day is July 8th. I have been on the liquid diet since last week and I get very hungry at times, but I can get through this! I have been trying different protein shakes and have not found 1 that I can handle. Has anyone had luck in finding a decent tasting protein drink? If anyone has any tips, I would be grateful to hear them.
hvdavis

hvdavis

2
Terry Poperszky's Blog
 

The things you will buy because they are on clearance...

Very little riding this week, but in my travels I ran across a Perl Izumi Outlet store (High end biking clothes) and look what I found on the clearance racks. Now, I like bright but this was a bit much even for me. Two things convinced me: 1. 200.00 off list price. 2. Wolf whistles from my wife and and the fact that I had to promise I wouldn't just wear it for biking. :wub:
Terry Poperszky

Terry Poperszky

7
jsbk's Blog
 

Day 11

I had surgery 6/19/13.   Starting Weight 270 Current Weight 266 Next Doctor's Appt. is post-surgery check-up on 7/2/13 First Fill will be 8/6/13   Day 1-4 intense back pain and abdominal pain. Hard to get in and out of bed, couldn't lie on my back. Slept in a recliner. Broth and protein shakes.   Day 5 Slept in bed, feeling better. Taking tylenol liquid (kids) for back pain.   Day 6 Returned to work. Felt okay until about 2pm and felt worn-out, tired, and back pain was terrible. Still stayed till the end of the day (5pm). Incorporated cream soups.   Day 7 Felt okay until 4pm and then felt tired and in pain again.   Day 8 & 9 - Same as day 7 but started to feel more and more hungry, incorporated cottage cheese and hummus for fuller protein.   Day 10 Took 30 minute walk. - Made homemade hummus - roasted red pepper, roasted garlic, onion, cilantro and lime - Tried applesauce - went down great! - Weirdly emotional today, working on some homework for my MBA and got so frustrated with Blackboard not working properly started crying! Heard hormones can be effected by rapid weight loss. - Cream of broccoli soup made with 1/2 water, 1/2 skim milk for lunch ate about 1 cup   Day 11 Took 1 hour walk outside. - Weird hormone crying again today, not too bad over sad movie I was watching - Feeling almost back to normal today including hunger... - Breakfast: 1/4 c. cottage cheese and 2 cups broth - Snack: protein pudding - Lunch: Cream of broccoli soup made with 1/2 water, 1/2 skim milk for lunch ate about 2 cups - Snack: pudding cup - Post work-out protein shake - Dinner: 1/2 c. Cottage Cheese w/ red pepper puree - Incisions are itchy...must be healing...   Work and school tomorrow...busy day ahead!
jsbk

jsbk

0
Deacon Blues' Missives from the Fringe
 

Back Home

Back in Statesville after another week helping Mom. The pile is shrinking, but it's still big. Adding to it now, real estate. Swell.   A little over a week, now, post-op, and I went way off the reservation yesterday and this morning. I had to have food. I bought me some Angus flank strips and some shredded cheddar and made me a couple of steak and cheese omelettes. The shame. At least it was high-protein.   I doffed off a couple more pounds this week. I'm healed up enough, now, I guess, to add a little exercise to the routine. I'll be becoming more familiar with my neighborhood beginning this week.   On with the show...    
Deacon Blues

Deacon Blues

0
Banded Jen's Blog
 

It's a band new me!

Hello Lap Band Talk!   Here is my story: I am 37 years old, I am married to an absolute dream of a man (seriously, I ask myself all the time how I landed him :wub:), I am a mother to a ten year old daughter and a soon to be three year old son. My son keeps me on my toes most of the time. I love him to the ends of the earth, but he drives me crazy. I also teach elementary school in Texas, so for 9 months of the year, my life is complete chaos. Also, I teach math, so don't judge me for any grammatical mistakes! It is crazy hot here right now and the idea of exercising 30 minutes a day sounds like sheer torture.   I am generally a pretty personable person and I am outgoing. Sometimes I wonder if I am so outgoing to cover my insecurities about my weight. That's a topic for another day and possibly a paid psychiatrist. I am having lap band surgery not because I want to change my life, but because I want to prolong the good thing I've got going here.   Weight wise...I'm not sure when or how I went down the hill of no return. I was never a small girl, but I was always involved in sports so I think it kept my eating in check. When I went to college and ate dorm food and drank too much of beverages that were not water, is when I started gaining steadily. Multiple breakups were also to blame only making the problem worse. I finally met "the one" and then we ate almost as sport because we were happy and eating was celebratory. Dieting= punishment mentality. I've still stayed pretty confident about my appearance. I guess enough people told me I was pretty along the way to sustain my "anti-anorexia goggles." When I say I am "anti-anorexic", this means that instead of looking in the mirror and seeing a morbidly obese person, I see only my good features and ignore the bad. "Dang Girl, you're looking good." Sounds conceited but it's my coping mechanism I think. Again...paid shrink.   I really committed to losing weight this year. I joined Weight Watchers and I followed it faithfully for about 8 months. I had trouble at Christmas but I was able to lose 30 lbs. in all. THEN my father-in-law passed away and a week later my Grandmother passed away. Those were tough times to stay on a diet...so I didn't. I've gained about 1/2 of it back. I've never been able to break that 30 pound barrier. I am currently 268 lbs. I was 269 earlier but I am doing the preop diet and I have been weighing myself like crazy and now I am 268. I carry about a 1/4 of that weight in my bra. "bigger than yo' head" is how I frequently describe the girls. I am sooooo looking forward to some of that disappearing. I've finished nursing my kids, so I am about done with lugging these things around all the time! I sure wish I could donate to the needy. Could be a nice tax break...something to think about.   Anyway, I am having surgery on July 9, 2013. This day will surely change my life and help me break my relationship with food. I was sort of sad about no longer being able to overeat anymore even though I know it's what needs to happen. It's like an abusive relationship! It's so bad for me, but I can't stay away! It's time to break up with food because food has been doing me wrong for so many years. I need to immerse my time into something else. Hmmm....housecleaning? Ugh - I think I just threw up a little at the thought. I am excited and anxious about the surgery. Not looking forward to pain, but excited to get it behind me. I've had two c-sections so I keep thinking it will be somewhat similar. I am looking forward to logging my journey - the good and the bad. I want to get and give support and I am so excited that I found this forum! This means there are people on the other side that have been successful with LapBand and can help me get through this.
Banded Jen

Banded Jen

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