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Kimmi_M's Blog
 

2 Months Post Op And 72 Pounds Down!

Hey everyone!! I am super excited to announce that today is my 2 month surgerversary adn I am down 72 pounds!! I just cant believe how much weight I have lost and how quick it is coming off! I really hope I dont come to a stand still. I know that it will vary from week to week so I try to avoid looking at the scale more than 2 times a week. I am new to this site to I am including my you tube channel so that you can get to know me and my story. I look forward to hearing your thoughts and going through this journey with some new friends.   https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC5L9G2TJCrigiofu3AlSZgQ   I have documented everything from the start of my journey before surgery and I plan to continue this throughout my new life   Thank you and hope to meet some new people! Kim
Kimmi_M

Kimmi_M

2
Gamergirl's Blog
 

Day Seven of Post-Op (Friday)

R is now walking 2 miles! He says he's been doing that since day 3 and I didn't even know. We're both pretty much back to normal except for the fact that we tire very easily.   We will laze about today but the food images will not leave me alone. I want to BITE into something. Anything! I spend significant portions of time thinking about food, recipes, pinning, thinking of what I will cook when I can. And I realize it's really, really, good to have this time when I cannot, in fact, eat anything.   All of us who complain about the liquid diet afterwards, it's our "break up with food" time. As with any breakup, you miss the loser, you love/hate him, but you're so glad you did it. Why did I think this would be any different? It's not. Note this. It's not any different than a breakup with a person you loved.   We got all our liquids in, we got all the protein in, but we've gotten creative about recipes. We make unjury chicken with Ramen flavoring, with taco seasoning, and today, R makes his perfect spicy tortilla soup and we eat just the broth. It has adobo chilies in it and we love it! We're not having any trouble with spice which is a relief to us.   R is struggling with a popsicle addiction. They're calling him. As soon we can do soups tomorrow, I will talk to him about throwing them out and getting his carbs via pureed veggies. We don't need to be back on sugar.   Someone said they cheated on their pre-op and I wrote a very harsh post back saying if you can't stay on your diet pre-op, how do you think you will do it post-op when cheating could mean death? We're all so focused on getting through the pre-op that we don't realize post-op liquid is even LONGER for some of us. Make no mistake about it, the post-op diet is harder.   You can't eat. You can't drink except in sips. It's weeks until you will feel normal. It's much harder. Buckle up.
gamergirl

gamergirl

1
My journey
 

This is so hard!!

So, banded a full month and feel like I'm all healed up (minus a weird really painful incision at port area that popped up all of a sudden) and this is so much harder than I thought!   I think I really need a fill because I can eat anything I want. I try not to ... But I think after a full month of not eating some foods, it's hard to keep things reasonable. I try to eat like a normal person ... but this is just so hard!!!   I do an excellent job of making sure I don't have junk food in my house ever, but yesterday at the store I bought some mini marshmallows. I don't know why I bought them. But I did. And then I ate too many. Way too many. I won't tell you how many.   I gained a pound back. Which isn't a big deal in the grand scheme of things. But I'm focused on right now - not the grand scheme! I want this weight gone and it doesn't seem to be going anywhere. I am desperately scared that I won't be able to make this work.   But I haven't even gotten a fill yet, so it is way too soon for that kind of thinking. I wish I had a fill appointment set, so I have some hope. I'll make one on Monday. In the mean time I will try to keep it positive!!
colorado_chick

colorado_chick

5
Gastric Sleeve Surgery - An Unexpected Journey
 

Sh*t's Gettin Real Up In Here - Knocking On Twoderland's Door

Let the countdown begin. Weighed in at 305 or less 2 days in a row - so it's official, 305 lbs. (I don't officially call it until I've been at a weight for at least 2 days!). Weighed in at 304.8 this morning, 305.8 at 5pm., let's see if it happens two days in a row again!   Just a matter of days until I'm below 300 lbs - 1st time I'll be that low in almost 4 years. Hard to believe I'm losing weight. Been too many years hoping the dream would come true, and this actually happening to me are too difficult to accept as real. I keep thinking I might be in a dream or I'm being punked. I'll wake up and POOF, I'm still in my old body.   The thoughts of it not being real and being disappointed again keep crowding in. Don't know when I'll let myself accept the reality of being at a lower weight. Oh well, I'll just keep drifting down the river Denial. Maybe I can deny myself right into 190 lbs. :-P
joatsaint

joatsaint

8
Flmomof2's Blog
 

My changing body

It feels like my body is starting to "settle". I don't know if anyone else has experienced this feeling or if it's just me. Don't know quite how to explain it. My clothes are not fitting right - almost everything is too big. It's a weird feeling to have underwear that's too big. If I wear it to bed it slides off when I move. TMI, I know but it's just weird. Believe me I'm not complaining I just don't want to spend a ton of money on "in between" clothes. My massage therapist says working on me is like working "on a completely different body". That's awesome to hear. I've created a huge bag full of clothes that I can no longer pull off as presentable. They are just too large. That's so nice to say! I'm looking into joining a gym now to start to tone since I'm getting some definition in my arms & legs now. Yep, even starting to get a figure! Although at my 3 month post-op I was only awarded a C- by my surgeon because I'm not drinking enough according to him. Well, it's really tough to get down 80 ounces while not drink during or 1 hour after meals! I'm trying, I swear! Keeping track of food & liquid like this is almost a full time job! 53 pounds down - 73 to go... GOOD LUCK EVERYONE!!
Flmomof2

Flmomof2

2
Rainicornicopia: An Unabridged History of the Rainicorns
 

Still waiting...

I've been on the phone since 10am.   I am so pissed off. (Can i say pissed?)   After everything....i'm waiting on this woman to call me back, telling me the insurance called her and approved this letter. I have a few hours left to wait i guess.     I don't think this surgery is happening on Monday.   This will be the 2nd time it's been moved. The 1st time, someone in the surgeons family died.
A_New_Lily

A_New_Lily

0
Gamergirl's Blog
 

Day Six Of Post-Op: Brain Fuzz

Day Six (Thursday) Since I was feeling so much better, I thought I'd be able to work today. I'm realizing that physical recover and mental alertness are NOT the same thing. I'm in a complete daze and am having so much trouble focusing. I wasted the entire morning in front of the computer doing....I have no idea what. Nothing to show for it.   Three meetings in a row took it out of me. Then I had to go to Dallas for a meeting and R offered to drive me. Well, his brain isn't working any better than mine. We were late getting out of the house due to poor decision making. We got lost on the way because we couldn't talk and drive at the same time apparently. By the time we got there, we were both stressed and late.   By the time we finished the meeting and started back home in rush hour, getting lost a couple of times--seriously it was ridiculous. I mean we have a GPS! and 2 iphones and 2 ipads and we couldn't find our way back home!--we were so tired. Again fuzzy decisioning, we decide to go to a restaurant to get a spicy drink.   We get to the restaurant and realize the drink has too much sugar. So we go to the Indian grocery and then spend an hour trying to get tins to fit together. Don't ask. Utter stupidity, but done with great concentration and dedication. At the end of this we are SO tired, that when we get home, I can't even make myself get up to take my makeup off. Both of us are bone tired.   I was not prepared for this. I just thought if we felt better, we'd be back to normal. Apparently recovery takes longer than 6 days. Who woulda thunk?
gamergirl

gamergirl

4
Gamergirl's Blog
 

What A Difference 6 Days Can Make

When pre-sleeved, I wondered what it was going to feel like right after the surgery. i read everything I could, but I still wanted more, more, more. I'm writing about my experiences to give back to the community that helped me prepare for this surgery. It's a very long post but hopefully it answers some questions about what we might go through, physically, mentally and emotionally.   I'm 5'6, HW 230, SW 222, CW 215.4 and I'm 47 years old.   Day of Surgery (Friday) I find myself calm, not nervous and ready and prepared thanks to hours spent on this site. I move to a gurney where they inject me, and the next thing i know I'm waking up and there's an oxygen mask on my nose.I keep trying to take it off, and they tell me not to, that I need the oxygen. I fight it a little. Finally, I say I know I'm not supposed to take it off, but I need to breathe, I'll put it back. The doctor checks on me and sees me fighting it, and says it's okay to take it off. I tell them I'm nauseated and they give me something.   I feel so little pain that in my dream state, I keep waking up from a half-sleep thinking, Oh I have to go to surgery today. And then my brain reminds me it's already over. I can't believe it. My husband comes out of his surgery and once he is awake, I make him walk with me. We push our IVs along, marveling at how okay we feel.   I'm okay, he's not so great. He's nauseated his chest feels tight, but there's not too much pain. We walk all day in little bits. My mouth is dry but I rinse it several times, and use my chapstick. We're fine.   Night-time is not fun. Nurses in and out every two hours, injecting one or the other of us. R has really bad heartburn so I'm trying to take care of him. We get through the night.   First Day Post-Op (Saturday) Cannot WAIT for the ice chips! such a gourmet treat! They arrive and we find we can't really eat them as we should. Two little ice chips and it feels like you have an elephant on your chest. R is worrying about shoulder and chest pain, and I assure him it's not a heart-attack, just gas pains, and keep walking. I nap a lot. He sneaks out and overdoes the walking and increases his pain. But the doc says his gut sounds better than mine, and to keep in mind that pain & symptoms don't mean a poor recovery.   I wonder how the heck we'll ever consume 64 oz of fluid.   Second Day Post Op (Sunday) Time to go home. We get a bottle of grape juice. Yum! but again, can't imagine how I will finish that little 8 oz bottle. We drive for 12 hours today. Well, I drive. R sleeps the whole time, which is how his body recovers from anything he ever has. I'm happy to be able to do this for him. We stop in Austin to see my son, try to drink some Unjury chicken. The warm soup feels good. We sleep for an hour and I'm refreshed enough to drive home. Keep trying to drink, probably didn't even get in 16 oz this day.   That night, I force the fluids and I'm miserable. Walking up and down the hallways after a long day. I realize this is a lesson. If I ever overdo the food, this is what it's going to feel like. No bueno.   This is my "WTF did I just do?" day. Thanks to this forum, I know that's common and I let the emotions come.   Third Day Post Op (Monday) Lots of sleeping going on but guess what? We can drink easier now! At least 38-40 oz today including a Nectar Fuzzy Navel! I'm amazed at the progress in just three days. I stop the pain pills. R is cranky and depressed today.We're arguing about stupid sh*t. I tell him it's the hormones, the trauma, the lack of calories and carbs and that it will all be okay. I do 20 mins on a stationary cycle, R walks the dog a mile.   Now my brain shifts to the big changes. Such as, if I'm not always thinking of food, what am I going to do with that spare time?   I kid you not. My existential crisis? What the hell am I going to pin on Pinterest now if not recipes?? I realize front and center food has been in my life and am so grateful we were able to get this surgery.   Fourth Day Post Op (Tuesday) Feeling like a pro today! I forget I've had surgery and gulp. Ouch. But a shake, an unjury chicken soup, egg drop soup, 2 G-2s, and 2 popsicles! Yay me!   So of course, now that is good, I'm the weepy one today. There's nothing wrong, I just want to cry. But I don't cry easily so even though I try, I can't cry .   No pain, all good. R gets energy back. I'm not there yet and want to sleep. We go out to get something, I'm exhausted. But I do 2 ten minute sessions on the stationary bike. We try Chike with caffeine. Mistake. Feel sick.   Today I make an important decision. In the past, I've always focused on the outcome. Was I losing weight? No? Then let me change my diet AGAIN. How about now? No? So what if it's only been 4 days I better change again. This time, I will not do that. There's a plan here. 800 calories, 80 gms of protein, less than 50 of carbs, 64 oz of water, and walking/cycling. That's it. Until I hit goal, that's the plan. Focus on the plan and the results will follow. I know this from reading others' experiences. I decide to focus on my actions and let go of the outcome. Big move for a control freak   I tell R that now that I am not constantly searching for the best diet, the superfoods, the one ultimate way to lose weight, It has freed up so much psychic energy, that I'm shocked at how much of my time I had devoted to obsessing about my weight. I chose the best way for me. The time to stop looking is over. Time to start DOING.     Fifth Day Post Op (Wednesday) Liquids not a problem. Protein not a problem. Can you believe that? It's only day 5 but we're getting all liquids in. What a change. I can NOT stay awake and sleep from 9:30 am - 12:30 pm though.   Work intrudes and I take 3 meetings over the phone. Couldn't have done that without the nap. I feel energized. We go out to run and errand and go to the grocery store to buy ingredients for soup which we will start on Saturday while the kids are home. The grocery is full of sample ladies and although I rarely ate samples, it's a different feeling when you can't. I feel different to everyone around me. I realize that I'm different from the others around me in one more new way, but it's a way that doesn't show, unlike my skin, my weight, my ethnicity. It makes me feel like I'm harboring a secret. Weird feeling.   I am happy I'll be able to cook again. I make my son an omelet with cheese, and I find I'm a little tempted but not bad. But I've had food dreams all day today. I want a grilled cheese sandwich with the crisp outer crust and the gooey cheese, I want tomato soup, I want chicken kebabs, I want, I want. I drink my shake. I will do nothing to compromise my recovery.   Sixth Day Post Op (Thursday) The day has just started who knows what awaits, but R has lost 20 lbs in 3 weeks, and I've lost 15 lbs. Last time I lost 15 lbs it took 6 months of clean eating and walking 4 miles a day. I'll take this!   I now believe that I will lose the weight. I was sure I was going to be that freak of nature that couldn't lose it because I only lost 6 lbs on 2 weeks of pre-op, but now I believe. Today we will do our liquids, our protein, our walk/cycle and tomorrow will be a better day.   My next goal? Visualize myself thin, and be able to see myself wearing cute clothes and start pinning those on Pinterest. Not there yet.   What a difference six days can make!
gamergirl

gamergirl

8
Rainicornicopia: An Unabridged History of the Rainicorns
 

f**k this

I receive a call this morning saying X is the time of my surgery and what to bring.   10 MINUTES LATER   I receive a call from someone in the insurance dept of the hospital saying the letter my therapist sent wasn't good enough. That she should know how to word a letter to an insurance company and it wasn't "rocket science". the therapist the surgeon sent me to never finished his report from back in f**king April.   I have an hour to fax this woman back. Well actually now it's 10 minutes.   What the f**k. My therapist is on vacation, i have left every kind of messege for the therapist from the hospital, emailed my surgeon, even called the nutritionist to get her to see the therapist. (They're basically across the hall from eachother)   If i don't do this ill have to restart the liquid diet again,   FOR THE 3RD TIME.   I am in f**king tears here because of the stress. f**k this b***h with no people skills being rude to me like i don't want this.     Edit: Backup therapist called. she said "I got ya, what do you need?" Took this b*****s number/fax down and began writing a letter. She is going to call her and then fax her.   I'm pretty sure i am in the clear. Like 80% sure.       Also, whats up with this site censoring my writing, hrmf.
A_New_Lily

A_New_Lily

1
Rainicornicopia: An Unabridged History of the Rainicorns
 

3 more dayssss

Talked with the surgeon yesterday. I am good to go. I had some extra blood work and talked to the anesthesiologist about being under for a set of shots i can't remember the name of. (He was attractive, but married...doh!)   My unflavored Unjury powder came in. It's a little odd but my other protein is worse.   I'm kinda nervous, kinda scared.
A_New_Lily

A_New_Lily

1
woodie83's Blog
 

Ideas please!!

I am struggling! I heed to get back on track. I thought if I could do a liquid diet for so long I could for sure get back on track but I think it's harder:( I want to start immediately! Maybe an egg in the morning, need an idea for lunchs, and want to do a shake at supper because of work schedule. Some ideas please?
woodie83

woodie83

2
Adrienne21's Blog
 

List of things I want to be able to do once I reach my goal.

Okay, here are a few things I want to do once I reach my weight goal. wear a bikini.
walk in high heels comfortably.
do a marathon run/walk for a charity.
to be able to run around and play with my little sister without being out of breath or lack of energy.
be more confident.
to stop hiding behind my laptop and enjoy life.
to look and the mirror and be happy with what I see.
to go to my high school reunion as the new me.
to go back to school and be able to fit in those awful desk.
to do a cycling class
to be healthy
I've got a long way to go before I reach any of those goals but for right now I have smaller goals that are achievable for right now. Refer to my blog before this blog. I think a list of goals can be helpful especially if you are serious about reaching them.
Adrienne21

Adrienne21

4
Adrienne21's Blog
 

Food addiction

I am 39 days into being banded and today I struggled. I am on a low carb/ no sugar diet plan and I had two slices of bread with my chicken. I kind of feel like I am getting hungrier a lot often. every 2-3 hours. I don't want to keep shoveling food into my mouth esp since I am only working out once a day three times a week. I feel like I am battling with food addiction. I mean I have never had any issues with food thus far. I am just genuinely worried that if I eat again tonight I might eat too much. I am looking forward to having my first fill in five days. I am hoping that I will get the restriction I need and to be able to get satisfied and start making my mark.   I didnt want to get into the habit of weighing myself but I am flirting with the idea of buying a scale. Idk what I am doing wrong. I eat my 60g of protein. I eat my protein first. I am making healthy choices minus the bread. Maybe I am just obsessing right now. I need to breathe and relax. I think I will be much better once I see my doctor and dietician. I am hoping I make it to my first goal of reaching 299 by my appointment. I would be sad if I dont reach my goal. I love seeing them happy when I show up and surpass their expectations.   So, Ive been thinking about my goal list I previously had. I think some of it is unrealistic.   Goal 1- is to go from 310 to 299. by the first of september. I've been working on it since July first. Goal 2- work out starting in one week four times a week for an hour. Goal 3- Avoid bread, pasta and rice. Goal 4- Have fun more. Goal 5- take more pictures to have as a guide on how much I have loss.   the rest will be updated at a later date.
Adrienne21

Adrienne21

0
Gastric Sleeve Surgery - An Unexpected Journey
 

Bad Scale! Bad Bad Scale!

Dealing With Stalls   Just be patient. I know it's frustrating when the scale doesn't move. I'm on week 11 and I've had at least 3 different weeks where the scale doesn't move for 7 days, then I'll mysteriously be down 2 - 3 pounds overnight. Your body is just acclimating to the lower calorie intake and sometimes it is holding onto every calorie, trying to replace the glycogen stores in the muscles.   I don't have a formula for getting the scale moving again, but I do try to mix things up to keep my body from getting used to a set pattern. I walk a little extra, up my vegetable intake, or eat low carb for a day or two to see how my body will react.   I was eating pistachio nuts and sunflower seeds last week and EEEEEKKKKKK! I gained 2 lbs that week. Monday I went back to basics of eating my refried beans and chicken (eating 4oz every 2 hours), this morning I've lost the extra 2 lbs plus another 1lb.   For the 1st time in 4 years I'm under 310lbs.
joatsaint

joatsaint

4
adargie's Blog
 

Post op day 3

Day 3 already, I was more sore today in my lower tummy. (my surgeon removed my stomach thru another incision lower from a prev surg I had) so I am assuming this is the more painful site, mostly hurts when I try to get off the couch or out of chair. I did sneeze today and whoa that sucked. But its nothing constant. I was expecting more pain and am sooo grateful I have had the easy time I have had. The only meds I took today is the omeprizole for acid. I will take the phenergran at night because I believe a full night sleep is extremely important. I am sleeping on the couch, so I can stay upright and not take in any air. I did not nap today which is different.   I had my first "outting" today, my mom picked me up and we went to costco had my heart set on some premier protein shakes. My surgeon gives his patients food for pre and post op. All of it has protein. I tried the soup today and was horrified by it. It was disgusting and made me nauseous. I can handle the gelatin with protein. they want me eating 4 servings a day. So I decided to go with what I like. I walked the store with my mom twice, it was tough going by all the stuff I used to by there. Smelling the food. I don't believe it was real hunger I was experiencing. But today I noticed the fatigued feeling others have posted. Which in turn put me in a piss poor mood. I felt like I had nothing in my body to fuel it. So I stopped and got some campbells chicken noodle soup and strained it. It tasted wonderful. I was only able to eat a small portion and didn't push it. that took care of my mood. My goal tomorrow is to push myself walking, I need to build some stamina for monday going back to work. I have been really good about getting my fluid in, thanks to crystal light of course.
adargie

adargie

0
Patty's WLS Blog
 

Two Days out of Surgery, and here's my experience...

The night before surgery....I kept myself busy and finally at 11 dropped from exhaustion.....and slept like a baby until the alarm went off at 4 a.m. I was in the OR, getting prepped for surgery, asked for something for nausea in my IV, we had a few laughs, and the next thing I know, I'm happily waking up in recovery...   My eye sight was blurry for hours after the surgery....and as soon as they let me, I walked...blurry eye sight or not.....the fear of gas pain was my motivator, I walked as often and as far as they'd let me....and continued walking every hour starting the 1st day after surgery.   When I was finally in a room (long delay), I felt utterly helpless and useless....like a beetle on its back.   I'm not a fan of pain killers......don't experience pain like most people....I only took something late at night (not sure I needed it, but thought it couldn't hurt and sleep was important.)   Morning came early, and the first thing I did was pee and walk...I don't think people knew what to make of me walking at 5:30 in the morning, so I just smiled and said good morning.....had the dreaded leak test this morning (wasn't so bad)....found it.hard to sip my liquids today, but wasn't too worried because I'm hooked to an IV......they are giving me prilosec in my IV, and I've never had nausea.   I am sore, but not in any real pain. The only pain is when I breath in deep. The biggest problem I'm facing is high blood pressure.....it's all over the map.....so they are giving me something for that.....6 hours later we finally see a break.   Day 2.....time to go home! Yeeha! so sick of being hooked up to an IV and having my pee measured and BP taken LOL The first thing I do is get up for my early morning walk.........and surprised how much easier it is to get up and out of that bed....wow! They give me another dose for my blood pressure.....will have my blood pressure checked on Monday with my PCP...may have to go on blood pressure medicine until some of this weight is gone (I've never been on BP meds before)   I was dreading the self injections.....did that this morning, and it wasn't so bad.   UPDATE: I did have a drain, and that for a brief second or two hat was some intense pain when it was take out---but again, very brief.   I haven't experienced the gas pains yet....hoping all that walking worked it out....but I'm still walking.....   I've experienced my restriction...took one little sip too many and felt it.....luckily it was a tiny sip and went away quickly. UPDATED: this pain I'm experiencing is a spasm, not a restriction....will try warm liquids and see how it goes.   Now that I'm home, my arms are killing me.....I figure one is from the IV....no idea about the other....my IV was in my hand, and my hand is a little swollen and sore.   I was told the priority and goal in the next few days is to get down the isopure (1/2 bottle mixed with water).....finding it difficult, but I sip as much as I can (I found in the hospital juice and broth went down much easier LOL)   I haven't gained weight from the hospital (yet anyway) but I am swollen around the mid section.   Right now I'm feeling rather fortunate....have not had a WTH did I do moment. I'm so thankful to have a wonderful man by my side for support.   The things I packed that I used....a pillow (only for the ride home)....a maxidress w/o anything at the waist was great for going home with a cami underneath...a note pad/pen for notes/questions for when the doctor came in...my own tooth brush/paste, hiar brush, eye glass case, and my cell phone to check in with VST and for my email.   I know this is just the first step in a life long journey, but rather than anxious as I have been, I'm looking forward to the ride.....
PGee

PGee

5
JCassell's Blog
 

Insurance, self pay, and in-laws, Oh my!

I started out on this journey very nievely. I assumed if I did everything my Insurance company told me to do, that they would grant me this surgery like a fairy godmother, giving me a new life with a smile in thier face. Unfortunately this is rarely the case, and reality is not as clean cut, or sparkly. I went to my seminar and was chatting up the surgeons PA. She told me that of the 5000+ surgerys that she has been a part of she has only once seen my insurance company pay out. Nice. In other words my chances of getting this approved are 1 in 5000. My fairy bubble was violently popped.   I decided that I didn't want to wait 6 months to be told no, so the next step was self pay. Sure, if I had any money it would be no problem. I had a little in savings but no where near what I needed. I decided to go to the bank and talk it over with a loan officer. He told me my best bet would be to refinance a current loan and it would make my monthly payments just a few dollars more a month. Woot! A fly by fairy dropped some glitter on me!   And then the I got the glitter in my eye. The land I was refinancing was cosigned with my grandma in-law, (we were very young when we got the loan). I am so covered in red tape I cant breath already and now I have to go get a quick claim deed, change over an abstract, and get everything noterized, or I could tell my gma in-law what I needed the money for and humbly beg for a signature. I was told that an abstract update could take up to six weeks, and its harder to get three people together to sign a deed in front of a notary than you'd think, and on top of this I have no idea how much it will cost to file or how lond it will take to process. Even without insurance, I cry for my plight.   I decided to talk to my gma in law just to expidite this little venture, only to find that she thinks I'm making a rash deision, one that she is very against. Yay! So as of today I am completely up in the air. It is frustrating not knowing if I will get to use the collateral that I have been paying on for five years. I made my case with the gma in-law and hopefully there will a decision in the near future. I will keep you updated!
JCassell

JCassell

3
LifetimeLoser's Blog
 

Transforming

A little over 6 months post op and I can feel some unusual things happening.   I am starting to think like a thin person. It was a slow, gradual change for me. What I mean when I am starting to think like a thin person is that I no longer dwell on things that I ate that wasn't in my perfect vision of my "diet". Pre-surgery (actually a few months even after surgery), if I ate something that wasn't on my envisioned list of allowed foods, then I would just get all emotional about it. I would dwell on it. I would have it in my head that I messed up and I was a failure. I would allow one "naughty" food to dictate my entire days' worth of eating. It was a form of sabotage, and it would set me into a cycle. I would eat, get depressed, and feel like a failure and then eat again.   Slowly, but surely I began to allow myself to eat things that weren't on my perfect diet list. I found that even on those days when I had something like crackers or something else that I didn't think would help my weight loss I still lost weight. Some times I even found that it helped my weight loss when I was in a stall. Other times it helped my work outs progress.   I guess what I am trying to say is that I ate something naughty and found out that my world didn't end. I didn't gain weight over night, I didn't look in the mirror and see an extra roll of fat, and other people didn't look at me and see that I "cheated".   Slowly over time, my mind started to grasp this concept and started transforming. I feel a lot better about food. I don't rely on it as much. I am not afraid of it as much. All these emotions are not tied up to it as much. If one day I have a craving that I just can't shake, like m&ms...I have a few. The difference is I have a FEW and not the whole bag. I savor the taste and then move on. One little craving doesn't end up costing me days and eventually months of over eating and unhealthy eating. As a fat person, I was so hung up on food. Every thought of my day was tied to food. Am I over eating? Was that too much weight? Is this too much carbs?   As a fat losing person, I eat normally. If I feel I might have eaten a little too much I just try to balance it out by moving more throughout the day.   I think I am finally finding some balance. My anxiety has come down a whole lot now that I am not constantly obsessing over every aspect of food or eating.
LifetimeLoser

LifetimeLoser

0
Linda's Blah blah blah blog
 

The C word

CHANGE I've been asking myself - why is change so scary? What is it about change that makes us worry about it, and even avoid it? Especially if that change could be the best thing that ever happened to us? What I've come to realize, is that it isn't the change itself that is frightening. It's that we aren't sure if we'll like what we get through change. I've been reading a lot of and watching a lot of you tube videos by people who have had various bariatric surgeries. I've been trying to see the perspective of this choice through others eyes. But I've also come to realize that it's impossible for me to gauge their experience, because I don't live their lives. And they aren't me. Some people have never even had surgery of any kind - and then they end up having to get this surgery for their long term health. I have to say goodbye to my incessant need to eat everything on my plate, my need to bake as a form of recreating my childhood before my mom died, my need to depend on my weight to make me feel safe, and my need to control change through food. Instead I need to let change happen and separate it from food and from control. Let's face it: the only choice we really have is to make a choice in the first place.
LinSmargiassi

LinSmargiassi

2
STEPS TO A NEW ME
 

Let the countdown begin...

So I am one week away from my surgery date! I am so surprised at how fairly well I am doing with my pre op diet. This experience has truly made me think about my relationship with food, emotional/social eating, etc.. this process has made me evaluate a lot of things. Not knowing what to do with my famiy socially on Saturdays -- without eating out, it makes me realize that I need to find other ways of occupying my time. I am hoping that dropping some weight will give me more energy and take away the need to be isolated all of the time, so I won't mind going out and being seen!   I can say that I am not really nervous about the surgery any more, just really anxious to get it over with and start my new life!   Being on this site has pros and cons, I tend to be the type to read the negative stories more than the positive ones (which is not really good for me). So I am trying to spend a little less time here until post surgery.   Well thats it for now,..let the countdown begin! ...
rpattilo1972

rpattilo1972

0

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