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Inspiredsmile's Blog
 

Getting Closer

So this pass Thursday was support group at the Barbaric's.Office. The place was packed! Between post Surgery and pre surgery patients and some support friends there had to be 200 people in that room. This month there was a panel of 6 people who had the surgery 8 months out or longer. We had about an hour of question and answer time. It was so helpful to hear their experiences and see how well they were doing. I am looking forward to one day sharing my success story.   I was lucky enough to spend this weekend at the beach. It was a challenge to not want all the great food on the boardwalk, but I was strong. The 11th is fast approaching, I can hardly wait to start this next phase of the journey.
Inspiredsmile

Inspiredsmile

0
CarryOn7's Blog
 

Pre-Op 13th day

Last day of Solid foods. I can say I am ready, a bit stressed but ready. Extra Dessert Delights are my saving grace, normally when I get stressed I eat, this time I go grab a stick, break it in half & chew till the flavor is gone... that & drinking lots of water, today. tomorrow is 4 protein shakes & 64oz water. the end is in sight, just have to make it through. so many epiphanies! I am thinking its all part of the process. I got the fridge stock for the family & a weeks worth of meals for them, 3 casseroles & 4 crockpot meals, all just have to have someone bake them or put them in the crockpot. so in reality they should be good for awhile. plus I got some broths, sugar free jello's, case of water, powerade zero, crystal light, isopure premade drinks, some powder mix with anything protein & of course chewable vitamins. washed my sheets, brought a couple more pillows in my room, have a bunch of books, dusted off my running shoes (for walking) also have a nice broken in pair of crocks (if my feet are swollen) pulled out the Huge heating pad, found my rice heating bag. also had the best idea ever, no I did not read it on a thread here, although i'm sure lots of others had the same idea, I pulled out a couple of the small shot glasses to use to measure the liquid intake. also dug out my kids baby spoons for a few weeks down the road. I am sure there will be something, somewhere that I forgot or overlooked, but for the most part lets get through this misery of surgery & recovery. the end result will be worth it. God Speed to everyone that is going to go through this surgery.
CarryOn7

CarryOn7

3
SolracSpree's Blog
 

Just a little more...

Sooo   For the past 3 weeks I have been going from 229 - 226 up and down up and down. So what happened 3 weeks ago?   Well I started work. So I'm thinking that my stalling of my weight is stress related??? And I have no idea how to begin to fix that.   Other than that I have lowered my calories and increased my activity   While teaching I move around ALOT   Breakfast is ALWAYS yogurt (100-150 calories) Lunch is ALWAYS Tuna ( 200 calories) Snack - Varies Dinner - Varies   So I dont know what my body is doing but I can estimate my calories have gone down from 1500/1600 to now 1100/1200.   We will see what happens with the scale later.   On another note. I am 1 pound away (on some days) to my 40pd mark! 1/2 to my doctors goal and only 2 months out of surgery
SolracSpree

SolracSpree

3
dylanmiles23's Blog
 

still not telling people

Better late than never, but we did a family dinner for the Jewish New Year last night. It was very nice, 28 people. My son's, their wives and my super wonderful 3 grandsons were there. I haven't seen some of the people for real long time and of course came the: you look great, how much did you lose, how did you lose the weight questions. I told people I do not share my weight loss with any one. They were disappointed. I said I know I was very fat and still fat and don't need people saying, boy, Arlene was very over weight. When it came to my dinner plate, one woman said to me, you have no food on your plate. I said I have plenty. My husband explained I eat around 4 oz of protein then the other foods. My sister-in-law (the wicked b***h "c" word) asked me about my 'diet'. I only said I use a dietitian. Enough words for her. About the SIL, my husband is 63 and for the first 50 years of his life he did not talk to her. They now talk only because he made an effort. She loves my oldest son and treats my younger son like s**t. Enough said about her.   So, back to the subject, I feel the surgery is my business and I just can't share it with everyone. I still feel like I am a failure because I needed the help of the band. My first surgeon said I was not a failure because I knew I needed the help. I just can't get that part into my head.   I did have a very small sliver of chocolate birthday cake. My youngest son's b. day was Wednesday, age 35 and the next day his wife was 35. I brought a super wonderful cake from BJ's for them. Today the hub and I get to baby sit the 9 month old. He is the perfect baby, teething and never complains. He has 8 teeth all ready. I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend. The weather in Boston is super great this weekend.
dylanmiles23

dylanmiles23

7
CarryOn7's Blog
 

Pre-Op Diet days 4-12

Well technically day 12 isn't over... but the end is in sight. just waiting for my call so I know what time surgery is! I'm kinda nervous my head is full of they didn't get the papers, they misplaced the order, the person who is suppose to call is out for some reason... oh well, it's a good lesson in patience!   aside from that I have done my best to keep myself busy! maybe to busy, I still haven't had a chance to put a bag together for the hospital.   this past week I finally got my water intake down, my proteins have been on target. I have also had lots of time to reflect & to think this is the best decision for me. it will be difficult, painful, & what-not. But that's how life has been anyway. at least I will have a great tool.
CarryOn7

CarryOn7

3
Dear Diary
 

YAY It's friday!

Another week has come and gone. Was supposed to go camping this weekend, but forgot I have a baby shower to attend (Gah). Upset my mom when I told her I couldn't pick her up for the shower because I really didn't plan on staying through the entire shower. I explained to her I do not like showers of any kind...yes i know, it's my cousin's wifes and we've waited forever for another baby...but ...games/food/chatter.. no thanks! Hell I would've missed my own baby showers if I could've.. I sound evil don't I? I'm just so non girly like. But I know I need to be there. My mom's family is extrememly small (me, my brother and 2 cousins). SO this is a huge event. There better be some good homemade potato salad to make this worth it! LOL..   Well my g/f was still quiet last night. I had to really push to get to her mom's house. I know her mom was happy we were there. She loves my kids even asked them to call her grandma. After we made her mom dinner my g/f informed me she was going to her friends house to watch the remainder of the game..I was not happy, but let it go. I did get a text an hour after saying "I love you sooo much". I guess that was her way of reminding me she needs me? I know she's going through alot of emotion. In all honesty, I had to remind myself how I would be if anything happened to my dad. How would I be? Exactly like her. I'd shut her out (not intending too of course). And hold all emotion inside. Me and my dad are so close that my brother has already prepared his fiance of his duties should anything happen to my dad. He knows he'd have to fly in from Cali to help me cope. Yes, true daddy's girl here and proud of it! Matter of a fact, we had a cancer scare last month with dad. God smiled upon us and he does not have cancer! Thank you Jesus!! We're not 100% out of the woods, but they did say once they remove his barrett's disease, he should be in the clear .   Oh and I was a bad girl for lunch. I ate a burger. it was a kids burger, but a burger nonetheless. feel like poo now.. but i can't say i regret it. It was something I was craving and decided not to deny myself. I refuse to act like i can never eat certain things again... I won't eat them daily, but if i'm craving..im eating.   Well time to finish up here and work and start my weekend! See you monday dearest diary
PrettyLilButterfly

PrettyLilButterfly

0
Roo101769's Blog
 

Doing their job

Sometimes it feels like I am doing the job of the office workers in my doctor's office! I realize that I am the one who wants this surgery. I am the one who wants things to move along as quickly as they can so that I can get to the place I need and want to be at. Yes, I am impatient. But I seriously wonder sometimes what would happen if I left things to happen when they happened. ( I would probably not like that answer) Take for example today. I have posted before that I have had a 4 week space where nothing has happened because I had to wait to get into a pulmonologist for clearance. It has been the LONGEST four weeks of my life in many ways. I feel like time has dragged by. I have wanted to do something to move this process along, but all I could do was wait. Well next Monday is the long awaited appointment. Even then it isn't "it", as this is only a consultation. Any tests will have to be scheduled and performed at a later time. ( Yes- I am going to push to try to get them scheduled next week) I decided that I would call my bariatric doctor's office to see where things stood on everything else. Basically find out if anything else needed done, was there any other clearance or paperwork I needed to have. First thing mentioned was my diet. This has gone round and round...It was once mistakenly said that I needed a 6 mos. diet before authorization. Well that information was incorrect. My insurance did clear it up with the lady in my surgeon's claims office, but apparently in is still notated in my chart somewhere. So once we got past that she said they still had not received my PCP letter of recommendation or last 2 years medical records. I was a little surprised. I saw my PCP on 8/28 for a check up on my leg. While I was there he asked if I had a surgery date scheduled yet. I said no, because of the pulmonary check. I also commented that was my last clearance, and that I hoped all my records and his letter had already been sent. Obviously the doctor has no idea what his staff does because he seemed like he was looking forward to me having this surgery too. ( in a weird way) Anyway, I called my PCPs office after speaking with the surgeon's office and left a message that they never got the records and letter. A few hours later the lady in the records office of my PCP called me back and said she had never received the request for the records or letter from Dayton Bariatrics!!! WTF?????She was very apologetic and said she would gladly send them over just as soon as she got the request and release I had signed and turned in back on 8/6. She even gave me her fax number so they could fax the request over and not have to wait for it to be mailed. I then called back the surgeon's office and relayed the information. She said she would get right on sending it over... So Wow. It is a good darn thing I am being so anal about this because who KNOWS what delays I might face if I didn't stay on top of it. I can only imagine now what I will probably go through once everything is ready to submit to my insurance. I would probably feel better if I could just do it myself!! LOL I know from all I have read on here that I am hardly the first person to go through this. I also know I am not the only patient any of my doctor's have in their practice. But if I did not stay on top of everything I am responsible for in my job, well I probably wouldn't have it for long. Oh well, lesson learned. I know what I have to do to get where I want to be.
Roo101769

Roo101769

2
frosty's Blog
 

Research in Boston

I am attending a info session at Brigham and womans hospital on Sept 18th . Looking for anyone that has had procedure done there and who has Harvard pilgrim as a carrier.
frosty

frosty

0
bsellis' Blog
 

4 Weeks Post-Op and Feeling GREAT

So my last entry I was on my pre-op diet and now as of today I've had my band for 4 weeks! My first week post-op I did have some moments of 'what did I do to myself', but luckliy that passed. It has definitely been a learning experience and will continue to be one I'm sure. It's hard work but it's rewarding to see the pounds falling off. I'm up to walking about 2 1/2 miles 3-5 time per week. I'm eating 800 calories a day. I will say that I am looking forward to a fill. My appetite was non-existent at first but it has come back with a vengence. At this point I am having to use will power but that's ok because I know it's part of the process. I love the fact that I can eat a small portion and feel satisfied. I can finish my meal feeling good about myself instead of feeling guilty that I ate to much. It is an adjustment because I still get the 'head hunger'. For example, I made tacos the other night and that is one food I would stuff myself on. Instead of having a taco in a flour tortilla I made a small salad with shredded lettuce and had some refried beans on the side. Although I was satisfied my head was wanting to stuff myself silly on tacos. This is where I would fail at losing weight before the surgery. Before the surgery I would have gave in and stuffed myself on tacos. Now I know I can't unless I want to be sick or risk hurting my band. Oh yeah on a side note lettuce does not agree with me at all!! I will try it again sometime but it will be awhile.   Ok back to the head hunger. I think the more I live this new healthy lifestyle the cravings and longings to pig out on my favorite foods will deminish. I think it will be like when I quit smoking almost 6 months ago. I remember even 2 months after I quit I would get these strong cravings for a cigarette. This has gotten better over time and will continue to get better.   Now to the most frustrating part of this entire process (for me anyway)... the dreaded SCALE. I am just not getting along with my scale. I weighed 350 the morning of my surgery and 2 weeks out I weighed 329. Now it's been 2 weeks later and I'm still at 329, but in the last two weeks my clothes have continued to get loosier and I can tell I'm losing weight. The scale just isn't saying so. This is really frustrating. I tell myself I'm not going to weigh but I do it anyway. I think I might need to remove the scale from the bathroom and hide it for awhile. Yep, sounds like a good plan! I think as long as I'm counting my calories (thank you My Fitness Pal!), getting exercise in and can tell I'm losing then I don't need a stupid scale. It just brings me down to see the numbers staying the same.   Ok one last thing. I haven't had anything sweet in at least 6 weeks but tonight I'm going to make some Chocolate Chip Cannoli Cups from a website I found called emilybites.com. She has some fabulous looking recipes that aren't loaded with fat, calories and carbs. Oh yeah, did I mention it is 63 calories per cannoli cup? Yummmm.. chocolate here I come!!       Believe
bsellis

bsellis

3
Adrienne21's Blog
 

head hunger vs real hunger

I need to get in tune with my band. I suddenly had some type of epiphany. I think since I have been stressed for the last week that I have been having head hunger. I just ate a yogurt and now am getting little rumbles in my stomach. I am concluding that I should wait until I feel the rumbles in my stomach to eat that way I will know for sure if I am actually hungry or if it is just my head playing tricks on me. I can do that or simply eat and snack when I am hungry but I don't want to go over my caloric intake. I feel really bad because I didn't eat much today and the fact that I am still up at this hour and hungry is bad. I really should go to sleep. I know I will have to talk to my doctor about this on the 12th of this month. today I am going hardcore on my exercising. I forgot to do some yesterday. I have to pull myself together. I've made it this far and I have a long way to go.
Adrienne21

Adrienne21

0
3-Sibe-Mom's Blog
 

Follow up appoinment from being relaesed from the hospital

I go to see the doc tomorrow afternoon. I am nervous for several reasons. Before being admitted to the hospital he emptied my band. In the past week I have began to feel somewhat human again. I feel I still have a way to go before I can take a nice long walk. With that being said I fear that I could be released to work. I do not have the strength to fight 150 pound teen boys yet. The set backs I had really put me behind in the healing process. I still can't take my dogs outside to potty. Therefor unable to take them on walks due to all of the pulling. I am also worried that I will get a fill. I don't think I am ready and have been doing just fine without any fluid. I just had an awful time with 4cc's and in 2 visits had to have it drained. That was on liquids. I am sure he won't do it if I request that it not be done. I just need to stop stressing.
3-Sibe-Mom

3-Sibe-Mom

1
LadyDiva618's Blog
 

I am getting my port replace next Tuesday!

Wow September has started pretty interesting for me hasn’t it?   Well today I went to see my Doctor and he said he will have to replace my port because it’s infected. So next Tuesday is my surgery date. I am little disappointed with myself because I did everything by the book and I didn’t take care of myself properly. It was like a punch to the stomach when he told me this.   So what cause my port to get infected? The term self-inflicted unintentionally comes in mind. I remember some of you guys telling me to take in easy 3 weeks after my surgery. Remember back in May when I was set up and helping out at those many graduation parties. Some of you guys commented Take it easy and be careful. And I did but somewhere down the line something happened and this was the result.   I can go on and on about what I may have or may not did right but I am not. It is time for me to get over it and move forward! Am I happy with the band? Hell yeah I am! When I start this journey I was 267 and as of today I am 205! It sucks that I have to get my port replace so soon but so far the band has been taking care of me and now I need to take care of my band.   This time around I will definitely take it easy. Meaning I am going to sit my a$$ down and let my incisions heal properly!   My only concern is my work outs. I started adding new routines and I wonder how this is going to affect me? I will think of something. Well at least I will have a short work week next week     Anyway what is going on with my St. Louis Cardinals?     Thanks for reading
LadyDiva618

LadyDiva618

4
deemay's Blog
 

Review for Dr. DeBarros

Dee - 11-10-1962, Review for Dr. De Barros and the WLIA staff was friendly. One visit working on the second visit. so far so good. Looking forward to working the staff.
deemay

deemay

0
Crystal VSG Journey!!
 

6 weeks Post Op

I have lost 23 lbs since surgery!!! I am very happy with my progress so far. I was a little disappointed but then took a step back and realized how much weight that was in such a short time. For the first time in my life I want time to go by fast just for the next year. I am almost in the 250's and I am so happy. My first goal is 249 so I am just waiting for the day!!! I haven't seen that amount on the scale for years. Exercise is going well started walking 5x's a week and strenght training 3 days a week. I love working out and I feel crappy when I don't. I really want a bicycle but I will wait till spring of 2014. Food wise I am still on Meat, Cheese and Eggs only. I can introduce veggies back at 2 months. 1/2 cup per day. I am looking forward to that but they did warn me that the weigh loss will slow down due to the added carbs from the veggies. So I don't have to add them back every day or at all if I don't want too. I am down into a size 1x shirt and I haven't checked on pants yet , i know they are getting very loose but not enough to fall off and have to go to a smaller size. Tomorrow is weigh in day and I am so excited to see the 250's on my scale.
Cmt7831

Cmt7831

3
Dear Diary
 

sadness

So yesterday my g/f's mother is rushed to the ER wtih chest pains. We were told she had just had her 2nd heart attack. When she gets to the ER, they said that was incorrect and her heart was fine. Due to extreme deadlines at work I couldn't rush to the ER to be there. I also figured all her children were there so I would only be in the way. Once I knew I could leave work, I called my g/f and asked her if I could stop by her moms. She said her mom was tired and that she'd be heading home soon.   I went home, fed the kids and text her letting her know I feel ridiculous being at home when I should be at her side. She finally gave in and said to come down. Just as I'm about to get on the freeway she sends a text telling me her mom is tired and she's putting her to bed and would be home soon. So I turned around and called it a night. This morning she woke up to take her mom to the doctor. I asked her to let me know when she got there so I could call her mom. I didn't want to call prior to just incase she wasn't awake. I sent 2 text messages asking her if she was there. Finally after an hour she responded that she was. So I called, she answered her mom's phone and I asked her why she didn't let me know. She said her mom was getting ready. I asked if I could briefly speak to her. I needed to send her my love and let her know I'm thinking of her. I know her mom would be SO hurt if I didn't call or go see her. This is why I was adament about wanting to see her.   I can't help but feel like I'm being shut out. This is her mom, I'm her partner, she should be leaning on me. instead, she's pretty much ignoring me. I'm trying SO hard to be understanding and give her space... but I would like to feel needed by her. She can't do this journey alone. Her mom is on 10 different meds, has diabetets, high blood pressure and God knows what else. We NEED to change her eating habits and get her on some sort of exercise. Does she think she can spend everyday at her mom's alone and do this by herself? I can't make it more clear I AM HERE FOR YOU!!!!   Ugh, I'm just sad..I know she's angry at me from the other night because I "didn't have her back" when she got upset with my son. Is that REALLY a reason to shut me out now? I mean really? She is pissed I asked her to drop it while we were fighting. And of course twice as angry that I didn't bring it up the next day. (she knows I hate arguing). So...here we go again. SSDD..   I know in my heart we're not meant to be, the love is there...but not much else.. IDK.
PrettyLilButterfly

PrettyLilButterfly

3
hockeyMa's Blog
 

ALMOST there

ALMOST there!! Hit the scale today at 175, that means a total loss of 80 pounds since my pre-op weight (65 post op). I'm comfortably in a size 8 (from a size 18/20)...and I'm loving my new life. I was blessed with a recent change to meet my all-time FAVORITE band (Rascal Flatts) just this past month. I was so happy to be able to go and enjoy myself and take pictures and not worry about how I looked, or what people were thinking. It's amazing how much this life-change has really put my entire life in a new perspective. I didn't realize how lacking my confidence was...actually I always prided myself on being a confident woman, but I didn't see how much I was holding back until I lost the weight. I had the joy of attending my daughter's Back-To-School Night last week, her 2nd grade teacher (from 2 years ago) didn't even recognize me. For those of you that are struggling or are in the early stages of this change...keep the faith- you CAN do this, and I promise you it will be worth it's weight in gold when you are living your new life. For those of you debating on doing it...I cannot promise you an easy path, I can't say for certian you won't have complications or problems- but I can tell you- without any doubt, this is the best thing I've ever done for myself, for my children, for my family, and for my own happiness.   Ok, just wanted to drop a quick update on everyone- OFF TO WALK ON LUNCH!!! XOXXOXOXO
nygurl

nygurl

2
hockeyMa's Blog
 

ALMOST there

ALMOST there!! Hit the scale today at 175, that means a total loss of 80 pounds since my pre-op weight (65 post op). I'm comfortably in a size 8 (from a size 18/20)...and I'm loving my new life. I was blessed with a recent change to meet my all-time FAVORITE band (Rascal Flatts) just this past month. I was so happy to be able to go and enjoy myself and take pictures and not worry about how I looked, or what people were thinking. It's amazing how much this life-change has really put my entire life in a new perspective. I didn't realize how lacking my confidence was...actually I always prided myself on being a confident woman, but I didn't see how much I was holding back until I lost the weight. I had the joy of attending my daughter's Back-To-School Night last week, her 2nd grade teacher (from 2 years ago) didn't even recognize me. For those of you that are struggling or are in the early stages of this change...keep the faith- you CAN do this, and I promise you it will be worth it's weight in gold when you are living your new life. For those of you debating on doing it...I cannot promise you an easy path, I can't say for certian you won't have complications or problems- but I can tell you- without any doubt, this is the best thing I've ever done for myself, for my children, for my family, and for my own happiness.   Ok, just wanted to drop a quick update on everyone- OFF TO WALK ON LUNCH!!! XOXXOXOXO
nygurl

nygurl

0
kmed21's Blog
 

2 Weeks Post OP!

Holy crap! Has it been two weeks since August 22nd... Yup, it sure has!! It went by fast, at the time it didn't.. But now it feels like it did.. This past week I really feel like I've felt my best. I had a few "baby's day out" days.. Yesterday I ran some errands, didn't get exhausted or sore... I think I'm really to increase my walking. I weighed myself today... Surgery day weight was 256, and today I weighed 242. That's 14 lbs in two weeks?! I'll take that! Target skirt here I come! I should have taken measurements on surgery day, but I didn't. I'm going to do that today, to see how many inches I'm losing now, especially with the increase in exercise. I'm doing better with my intake. Yesterday I got super close to my 60/64.. Today we'll see how I do. I'm kicking myself because we got the bariatric advantage protein meal replacement shakes, and it's super gross!! High in protein, but waaayyy toooo sweet!! But I made one with some peanut butter and a little chocolate syrup and it was ok.. But ick.. After I finish the bag, I might go back to my EAS stuff. Hopefully by then I'll be on mushies atleast. I have one more week of just liquids, then move on to mushies.. The first thing I want is a scrambled egg with cheese!! Very first thing on my mushies list!! I am amazed at how bad I want real food. The process of chewing real food, I miss that! I am having problems with not chugging my drinks. Before I could down a half bottle of water only having to come up for air.. I can't do that now.. I was sooo thirsty at church on Sunday, I got an applejuice. I started just chugging it, I thought I was going to puke during worship! I had to sit down and just be like uuuggghhhhh.... Anyhoo... How are the other newly sleeved peeps doing? Or older sleeved? What's your story?
kmed21

kmed21

2
azjanie's Blog
 

Good News and Bad News

I had my Initial consultation yesterday. The staff was very nice and informative. I found out that even through my insurance policy is with Cigna, my employer does not require the 3 month diet for approval. That's the good news.   Now the bad news, I knew I would be close on the 40 BMI for automatic approval but thought that I would probably make it (I had thought about wearing leg weights but chickened out at the last minute), good thing since they made me take off my socks and jacket, I also had been suffering from a mild case of the stomach flu for a couple of days but didn't want to cancelled my appointment because it took so long to get one in the 1st place. Needless to say my BMI was only 39. Now I have to have a sleep study to see it I have sleep apnea and can qualify that way.   I have read a lot of blogs sleeve candidates were required to get a sleep study but haven't read much about the results. Should I be worried or is it likely that I will be diagnosed with sleep apnea. I really don't won't to have to gain weight to qualify. If I have sleep Apnea I could have my surgery in about 6 weeks, if not I will have to start saving money for Mexico.
azjanie

azjanie

1
My journey
 

Second Fill

I had my second fill today. When I was weighed she kind of frowned and said "Oh... I see it's not quite tight enough for you, yet." Ha hahaha. Nope, I guess not ...   I thought I did good losing a few pounds! Hopefully with this second fill I will do even better. Maybe next time she will blink twice at my weight, double check it, and then say "Wow - way to go, superstar!"   So now I have about 5 cc in my band. 4cc from my first fill and 1 cc from this fill. I really really hope this fill works to control my appetite. Even though I'm eating less, it's because I am making my self. I am constantly hungry and thinking about food.   Actually, a few times lately, I have even dreamed about food. I'm pretty sure that's not normal ... sigh. But, I already feel like my food addiction is getting better - so thank you, lap band. Keep up the good work!
colorado_chick

colorado_chick

0
Welcome to MY World
 

A Way of Life

I was born a healthy baby on March 30, 1973. I weighed 8lbs, 11 oz and was about 21 inches long. In first grade, I weighed 70 lbs. In 5th grade, 120. By the time I was a junior in high school, I weighed 206 lbs. I was 5'4" tall. It's not a sedentary lifestyle that led me to be a heavy girl. Lord knows I was active...riding bikes, playing tag, being the only girl among a ton of boys took a lot of energy if you wanted to have something to do besides watch TV. I swam, I ran, I spent years in the marching band huffing and running and carrying instruments of various weights. Yeah, I was active. But I ate. I snuck food, I binged, I stole food from our pantry. Cookies and candy were my favorite. I would eat 3 or 4 pop tarts for breakfast, finding it odd that m friends only ate 1. I drank milk and soda. I would get ice cream from the ice cream man, hide to eat it then go inside to eat dinner. I remember drinking a 2 liter bottle of coke between my grandmother's house and mine. 5 doors down. I was 10. When I got into middle school, I realized I didn't dress the way my friends did. I dressed in the "women's department" becuause the Juniors department clothes didn't fit. I remember crying with my mom in the kitchen one night because kids laughed at me for using a diaper pin to hold the seam of my pants closed. I remember being teased for having breasts in 4th grade. When I joined the marching band in 9th grade, Mom took an old pair of her slacks and added the stripe for the uniform on each leg so I would look like the other kids. When I went to Europe in 1990, she altered my marching uniform by adding gussets in the torso & thighs so a mens' XL jumpsuit would fit. No one knew but me, but that was enough. None of that stopped me from eating. At that time, my afterschool snack, before band, orchestra, jazz band, choir or drama club practice was a bottle of orange soda & 2 king size packs of peanut butter cups. Fruits & veggies? a rarity in my diet because I was rarely home to eat dinner.   Nothing seemed to take away my need to put food in my mouth. It didn't matter what or when it was. Food has been a major part of my life. A way of life. My life has revolved around food for most of my life. I have really needed to find a way to stanch the flow of food. What would the breaking point be? Insulin? Nah...blood pressure? Nope. High Cholesterol? Oh no. Knowing how rampantly heart disease runs in my family and that my own father had a stroke at 17 didn't stop me.   In 2005, my brother & sister in law blessed me with my oldest niece. I wanted to live for Emma. Still, I shoveled food in. In 2010, I became an aunt again. As I sat and held Caroline, I knew I needed to do something, so I joined a gym and would go almost every day. I joined weight watchers and attempted to stick to it. I herniated 3 discs in my back in 2011. Stopped going to the gym, which wasn't that difficult since I had stopped going so faithfully, and ate like it was my last meal.   On January 2 of this year, during a visit to my endocrinologist, there were 2 words next to my name I never associated with my name. MOrbid Obesity. It was right then and there I made the decision to make the change.
Lisaq332

Lisaq332

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