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Melissa's Thoughts
 

Thoughts for Today

So I woke up this morning, SUPER glad that yesterday is DONE! I was looking at the calendar and I saw the date, I then began to think. As of this past Sunday I am 2 months out, 8 weeks people, from my surgery date and I have lost almost 30 pounds! Amazing, right? Well...yes it is, but then I thought, "Woman, you need to zip your lips the next time you think of complaining the scale isn't moving!". RIGHT?!!!   In those very thoughts I thought of how amazing it is to even be able to vocalize that I have LOST, not gained, almost 30 pounds!!! It seems like a lifetime ago that I was able to say I even lost 5 pounds, or even 10! Now look at that number!!! I then thought that I have no right to gripe when the scale doesn't move as fast as I think it should, or say what I have been waiting for it to say. Our minds, well my mind anyway, can be a dangerous place and that is why I HAVE to talk positively to myself every minute of the day! Who thought I would ever be able to say in 8 weeks I have LOST almost 30 pounds!!!   I guess it's in the moments of reflection that you begin to realize that at times we can become so complacent, so ungrateful for even the smallest victories. I cannot speak for everyone, just for me, and I am a very thankful person, and when I realized that I was getting to the point of not being satisfied with my victories, that is a sad day for me. I read someone else's blog this morning on almost the same exact topic and it just made me think.   I'm working on my mind, daily, and this is such a touchy subject with me. But I have to wake up everyday and KNOW that I am not yet where I want to be but I am so much better than the day before.   In the person's blog that I read she recounted the obstacles she has overcome, and how she, too, is frustrated with that stupid scale as she is so close to her goal and it is just taunting her. When will we, I, be completely satisfied??? When did I overlook where I came from and open my eyes to now see the real reflection of ME? I'm almost completely off my insulin and I am completely off my oral meds for diabetes, that is a HUGE Victory and if nothing else changes, I am so thankful for that.   I've worked hard in my life to really like who I see in my reflection, and at times I haven't even wanted to look. My husband tells me how good I look, I shake my head no, he tells me I'm beautiful and I struggle to say thank you...but I'm getting better. I can like who I see in the mirror, why? Because she has a beautiful heart, she is a strong woman and because she has come through so much in her life, and to get to this wonderful place, I just couldn't be more thankful. I don't want to take one since solitary moment for granted, and seem like I'm ungrateful. I'm blessed beyond measure to be able to have come this far.   Have a GREAT day!!!
MWilliams42

MWilliams42

0
Kathy Tyler's Blog
 

Why Is It That As Human's We Never Seem To Be Satified?

​Why is it that as humans we never seem to be satisfied, or we're always so hard on ourselves? I'm 10 months out from my sleeve, and down 110 pounds from my highest weight 16 months ago. For the past couple of months I have been losing, and regaining the same few pounds! I go between 172 & 175 pounds, and can't seen to drop below the 172 pounds! I'm only 16 pounds from my goal weight that the doctor gave me, and it seems as though I'll never get there! I'm obsessed with the numbers on that darn scale! Lord help me, I get on it everyday, and hold my breath, and hope it will finally drop below the 172 pounds! When I see it hasn't changed, I get very upset with myself, and always feel disappointed with myself. Why don't I remember WHERE I came from, and give myself a "pat on the back" for how FAR I have come? 110 pounds is nothing to sneeze at! Why as humans do we never feel satisfied with our accomplishments, why don't we think of all the positive changes in our life, and "beat ourselves up" over where we THINK we should be? Like the fact that I can now ride my bike over 20 miles in about 2 hours, and used to get winded just riding down to the corner! Like I can walk our dogs 4-5 miles in a little over an hour, and still feel great afterwards, and before I got tired and winded just walking down to the corner! I used to take blood pressure meds 2X's a day, depression meds, acid reflux meds, cranberry pills for frequent urinary tract infections, and my kidney function wasn't good. Now I don't take any of those meds, and all my levels are great! I use to wear a size 26W, and it was getting tight, and now I wear a regular size women's 14. So why am I so hard on myself, and dwell on the weight I still want to lose, and not on how great I have done so far? I'm going to a wedding this Saturday, and I got a pretty plum colored evening gown, size 14 to wear to it. It looks so pretty on me, and I actually feel GOOD in it, and am looking forward to going! I use to DREAD going to any social, or family function, because I was so self conscience about my size! I never thought I looked GOOD in anything I wore, and always felt so fat and unattractive. I guess I'm blogging this for 2 reasons, one I hadn't blogged in a few months, so thought it was time, and two, so I can read what I'm writing and remind myself just how far I have come! Attached is a picture of me in my new dress I'm going to wear to the wedding this Saturday. I put it on and had my hubby take a picture of me in it so I could share it with you.
NewBeginningsForMe2012

NewBeginningsForMe2012

3
Roo101769's Blog
 

I'M SO EXCITED!....

...and I just can't hide it! Just spoke with my surgeon's office. All of my paperwork and clearances have been received and she will be submitting it all to my insurance TOMORROW for approval!! The girl who does it is actually pretty cool and we have chatted a few times, so I don't think she is blowing smoke up my butt. She knows I am very excited so I hope she does follow through...Now I pray ( and yes- stress) for a quick approval. My fear and nerves may start to take over, so I just need to stay focused and positive. If I am this excited about this, imagine how I will be when I get approval!!!! I probably better bring a spare pair of pants with me to work for a while, I may need them!!! LMAO The timing could not be any better. I have been seriously struggling lately. I lost some of my momentum. Like everyone who struggles with weight I have been plagued with doubts and self sabotage. My will power has been turning to "won't" power. I have lost 20lbs since 8/1 and I am very happy and proud about that. But, without the surgery, I don't see much more coming off. I need the restriction. I need that extra "umphf" to get me past my head. I need the surgery. I am just so very, very happy my journey is moving in the right direction!!!
Roo101769

Roo101769

3
desertmom's Blog
 

Struggling not to eat too much

My 12 year old was diagnosed with Anorexia nervosa a month ago and I HAVE GAINED 5 pounds in the past couple of weeks.It feels like I am eating for her and as we have to have normal earing patterns around her I cannot cut of full fats or carbs.   THIS IS ANY WEIGHT LOSS SURGERY PATIENTS NIGHTMARE!   I am not allowed to have scales around anymore which drives me nuts as well.The fact tht my life has stopped since we are in stage 1 of redeeding her is not helping as I am bored and stressed.But we are growing a lot stronger as individuals and as a family and that is super positive.Healthy happy,whole people will emerge from the eye of this storm.   Anyhow,will update as I am now secretly trying to drop this 5 again without anyone noticing.Which is a bit tricky but I recon exercise will have to become part of my life now.I can do it when she is at school.Good thing too as I can do with a lot of toning.   xxo
desertmom

desertmom

0
In search of..... Me!
 

Battle of the Cheesecake

When we have surgery we say that we are doing it for our Heath, that when temptation comes we will be the one to battle and win and in some cases we are. We say when we are subject to birthdays and holidays that our surgery will be more important and we won't let it effect the joy and time we have to be with our family, we won't allow the lack of food to ruin the enjoyment of this experience because after all a birthday is a celebration of ones life and not the glorious cheesecake set before us...... Until that glorious cheesecake is in front of our face.   Since my surgery (3 weeks and 6 days ago) I have had different types of temptations, there have been the chips and snack foods my 14 yo consumes. It was easy enough to take that one out, I created an area in his room that is a snack safe zone and I do not go in there, I don't think about it, I don't touch it. I am a baker and find not in cooking and baking and at 10 days post op the thought of living in my home 1 more min made me want to find the nearest train tracks and just lie there, why? because I'm down and unable to clean, the rest of my family became incapable of cleaning, I don't know. Anyway I bribed my family with a homemade Black Forest cake. Amazing what people will do for cake, I still had a lack of hunger so it didn't bother me. Today is my dads birthday, I made ribs and chicken, Mac n cheese, broccoli n cheese and cheese cake. I portioned out my rib and 2 oz of chicken and 1/4C of broccoli n cheese and sat down to eat and became depressed. I want that stupid cheesecake, but I can't have it, no not even a taste. If I allow myself even one taste I will open Pandora's box and it won't be pretty. I didn't think it would bother me, but it did. I'm heading out on a bike ride now. I'm hoping the fresh air and sun will wash the cheesecake worries away.   Post bike ride.... Macy- 1 Cheesecake-0
Macy6

Macy6

0
chasingadream's Blog
 

Finding myself....

Well, it's post op day 4 and I'm trying to figure out this new me! Happily I am feeling really good! The surgery went well and I'm glad I was able to stay overnight in the hospital...I do feel it made quite a difference in my confidence coming home. I did not experience the gas some complain of and was able to sleep in my own bed laying on my side the very first night. Only needed some liquids Tylenol for pain too.   I have tons of info to read and re-read but when it comes down to the nitty gritty your pretty much on your own to figure out your new "innards".   I need to drink lots of fluids as not to dehydrate but that's tough one sip at a time...I'm getting in as much as I can! Not nearly what I should. Will keep working on that!   Eating...wow...that's a whole new world...again get in your protein shakes first...very important, but only can take in 3-4ozs at a time...trying to throw in some soup to add some variety but not a lot of protein there! I'm very much looking forward to mushies (actually looking forward to some tuna fish)-don't know why but I am! Then there's the whole- are you full??...it sounds easy to know pre-banding but not so much after! Afraid of taking that one more sip that may push you over the top....I'm getting it-slowly but surely! Still some very old habits to break there (going slower, actually thinking about what your doing when you eat, and the whole clean your plate club)--all of which are very embedded after years and years of use.   Then there's the vitamins...need to get them in but their chewable and big and I'm on liquids-so I chew and chew and dissolve them all the way! They taste pretty yummy...lol.   It's a lot of pressure to follow all the rules. That parts a no-brainier for me-it took me a long time to finally decide on WLS and I won't jeopardize anything by cutting corners...but it's hard...not a bad hard just a new hard.   Many said the band is a lot of work and they weren't kidding! I know I'm fresh out of the starting gate and things will continue to progress, heal, and I will become more accustumed to and knowledgeable about my new me!   I'm blessed to have the most supportive hubby and two little ones who are being gentle on my belly but still sharing lots of hugs and kisses with their mama. I'm blessed to have been given this new chance to make a change for the better concerning my health and to finally feel better about myself and who I am.   So this is a whole new chapter in my book of life!   And these weren't complaints or gripes about the band but more of an acknowledgement that I have much to continue to learn about me and my new little friend...   They say you learn something new everyday...ain't that the truth....and a good truth it is!   So to all those who have helped me get this far, and you know who you are...I say a great big THANK YOU-because as scary and as daunting and as exciting of an adventure as this whole banded world is -it's nice to have people who know what you're taking about and care to help!
chasingadream

chasingadream

4
Inspiredsmile's Blog
 

First day back to work since my surgery

Today it is 12 days out from my surgery that was on the 11th of September. I had filled out paperwork to be off for two weeks, going back on Wednesday the 25th. But it was driving me crazy sitting at home, I can't go shopping, I can't bake or cook and I can't really work out so I decided to go back to work today two days early. I work in an office so it is easy for me to be at work. It was more of the mental challenge of staying on task that challenged me. Over all I am glad I went back. It was nice to be missed and welcomed back. I took a container of plain Greek yogurt, and a bottle of flavored water. It took me all work day to finish the drink and over an hour to get the yogurt finished. Little bites take forever!!! I used to eat too fast so this is very new for me to have to work at finishing something. Over all feeling great. Dealing occasionally with some mild heartburn. When I left the Hospital I had orders to make an appointment with my family doctor for two weeks. So Wednesday morning I have that family Doctor appointment. I feel like it is a waste of my $20 co-pay. Next Monday I see my surgeon so not sure why the family Dr. appointment is necessary. I haven't been to see her for a long time and didn't see her at all throughout the 6 month pre op stage. But I will go see what she has to say. (I would still rather have the $20 and not go)
Inspiredsmile

Inspiredsmile

0
M Squared Blog
 

Wirlwind Month

September has been a crazy busy month! I am actually looking forward to my surgery, so I can rest.   I am a person that strives to do everything, even when there isn't enough time. I had to admit defeat this month and miss out on a family wedding. I was disappointed that I didn't get to celebrate my cousin's marriage to his beautiful bride and spend the day with family.   However, I spent the day out at a little airport with my husband and a group of his students. Although it rained most of the day and the days plans were ruined, it was still a good day. Watching how passionate everyone is about aviation was quite a sight. There was a group of atleast 50 people that sat around inside just waiting for the weather to clear for about 6 hours. Optimism was abundant and the pure passion they all have for aviation was abundant. My husband’s passion for aviation is unwavering, job losses, uncaring bosses, he just keeps driving on. Recently he said to me, “If you loved being an engineer half as much as I love being an aircraft mechanic, you would have so much fun.”   Where does my passion lie? Sure I am an engineer, mostly because I was good at math. Did I choose to be an engineer? No, my dad thought I would be good at it. There are days that I absolutely love my job and many where it is just a job. What I really love is helping people. Last night when I was walking back to my hotel from dinner, I gave a dollar to an older gentleman in a doorway. I know, you shouldn’t give money to beggars as they usually buy alcohol or drugs with it. It really wasn’t about the dollar, I was nice to him, told him to have a nice evening and his face lit up. I had just watched a man and his children completely ignore the older gentleman. Amazing how a bit of kindness can brighten someone’s day and your own. I do love helping people when I do my job, just need to find more days where I love it.   My surgery is in 9 days. One class to finish, a Piper's Barkery event at a dog fair and one work day to survive! I know I can do it! Ready for the next chapter in my life. I will then have 3 ½ weeks off from work to recuperate. Hope I can do a little self-reflection and rediscover my passion in life.
Kristina Mccarthy-Martin

Kristina Mccarthy-Martin

0
Melissa's Thoughts
 

Make this day stop...

UGH...why is it that today, Monday, of all days has to be like this. I mean really, one thing after another and then over again. My family doesn't realize, even though I have told them, that I am losing weight, yes, but I am still working on the mental part of it all. When I get angry, upset, sad, frustrated, feel hurt, etc...I still want to reach for that food...even though I'm not the least bit hungry.   I've been telling myself all dang day(don't know if you can swear on here) that you are not hungry, you don't want those chips, and that donut you've been thinking about...it's evil and won't taste good anyway.   It all started this morning and spiraled(is that how you spell it?) downward all day. ugh, I just want to cry...and that's another thing, HORMONES suck. YES they suck a$$(technically not swearing if it's with dollar signs!). I have wanted to cry all day, and then just get mad and yell, which nowadays makes me cry even more. OH MAN, I feel like I'm out of control on this roller coaster of emotions and I want to get off this ride.   This week my main focus is exercise and feeling better and getting below 200, that's where the scale is at the moment...and I will make this happen this week. I have to focus all those emotions, and such on getting below that 200 mark, and I know I can do this. If I focus on that I can get my thoughts in order and realize that I really don't want everything I have talked myself out of.   It's a vicious cycle, and I will break this, I will change my thoughts once and for all and realize that I am greater than this addiction I have been feeding for most of my adult life, and no amount of stress or frustration is going to make me fall off the wagon...it just can't, because I won't let it.   Stay true to your journey and thank you to everyone willing to share on this site, it means more than you could every know.
MWilliams42

MWilliams42

1
Blog 42354
 

Such a long road, but what twists and turns

Well, it is my Band Anniversary and things have changed.   #1 I left my husband, a cruel and abusive man. I grew a spine and walked out the door with nothing. He told me I had changed. He was angry that I lost weight. He lost his control over me. It is now a very bitter divorce, but I am free.   #2 I am dating again. It has been a year and I love my freedom. I have grown so much. I love myself for the first time in my life. I have excess skin, you don't like it, tough!!! My tummy hangs, you don't like it tough!!! My arms are big, TOUGH!!!   #3 I live with my Daughter. I am 57 years old and I live with my Daughter. I have nothing. But I am no longer isolated and alone. I would rather be broke than abused.   My life has changed, but I am enjoying life for the first time in a very long time. I love this stage. YES there are men out there who enjoy a more mature figure. Yes there are men out there that will take advantage of you. You just have to be cautious and never go back to the type of man in #1   My weight is stable. I am not thin, but I am happy. So, did I change, DAMN RIGHT I DID. Did I leave a cruel and abusive marriage, damn right I did. I started living for me. I don't care if I never have a possession again. I have my dignity. No one should live their life in fear as a door mat. Take a stand, protect yourself.   TELL SOMEONE, you are not alone
debbieperez55

debbieperez55

3
Hitting my first milestone!
 

Hitting my first milestone!

This is me, 30 pounds lighter! I think it all came from my face, neck and feet but I'm starting to like the way I look!   Today, after 2 and a half weeks of being on a stall, I hit my first milestone. I not only finally hit the 30 pound mark, but I also have less then 100 pounds to go!   WHOOPWHOOP!!   I didn't really think it was a big deal to set little goals, but this feeling is wonderful today! Especially with being so frustrated not moving the scale at all (even though my clothes all are baggy and falling off me, and I was able to buy a shirt from a store I haven't shopped at since I was in high school).   So today I decided these little goals are a big deal and that I need to start setting some. I overall said I wanted my first big goal to be getting the Onederland (under 200 pounds). But I think setting mini goals along the way helps keep you motivated and feeling accomplished. So here are some of my goals:   Weight Goals 1: Lose 30 pounds DONE 2: Have less then 100 pounds to lose DONE 3: Weigh less then 225 pounds (smallest weight I have been in the past 7 years) 4: Make it to Onederland 5: Weigh 190 6: Weigh 175 7: Weigh 160 (my weight pretty much all through high school) 8: Weigh 150 9: Weigh 145 10:Weigh 140 11: Reach my goal of 135 12: Reach a single digit size pair of pants/jeans (unsure at what weight that may be)   Fitness Goals: 1: Run a mile in less then 10 minutes 2: Run a 5K (by next spring... Couch to 5K work your magic!) 3: Become a jogger. 4: Ride in the "Ride for Missing Children" bicycle ride (100 miles in 2015) 5: Become a Zumba instructor 6: Run a 10K     Now I know getting down to 135 might be a little far fetch for me, and I might adjust the goal as I go, but I think if I put my mind to it I could get there!   I'd love to hear some peoples goals they have set for themselves!
natmo2431

natmo2431

4
Kime-lou's Blog
 

Up, Down, All Around

My weight has pretty much been at a stale mate since around June. I have stayed in the zone between 186-189. I weigh daily, each AM in the good ole B-day suite. Last week, while awaiting my monthly visitor I jumped to 190, then the next day 187- go fig- horomones, gotta love 'em.   Basically, I keep getting told that I should pat myself on the back for not gaining. True I haven't gained during a very stressful time in my life. However, on June 22, 2012 I had lapband surgery to lose weight. At that time I want to get to 175, so currently I am around 11 lbs shy of the original goal. As my weight fell off the first few months, with what seemed to be little effort, I changed my goal to 140. At this point I fear I will never make it to my ultimate goal.   At this point and time I can also say, shamefully, that I do little to make my goal attainable. I don't exercise daily like I know I should- I wouldn't say I am lazy. I move, a lot, I just don't have a regimented exercise routine, that I know would help me pull toward my goal. I, also, eat pretty much what I want. I eat pizza, cake, cookies, pie, ice cream, meals- I just don't eat as much as I did pre-surgery- I don't think it is possible. I do attempt to make things healthier- like cutting salt, eating lean meats, eatting less process foods and carb- but I don't make a huge effort to eat like a rabbit as my hubby calls it.   I have come a long ways- 60 lbs down from my highest- but yeah I want more, but I am finding motivation to move forward hard to come by.   I have been in a 14 all summer, but now they are a little loose and I can wear some 12's. That is great, don't know how that is happening, but my body much be reshaping.   I know that while I am not being hard core, I am doing something to at least maintain where I am. This morning I promised myself to make a concious effort to do better in the coming week so hopefully in the next month I can drop to 185. I am not 100% sure how I am going to do it, basically I am going to take it day by day- meal by meal- make better choices as time moves forward.   I want to be realistic and do things that I can continue, knowing that if I go to rabbit food for weeks, I may loose weight, but I won't be able to maintain that.   So I recommit, today I will begin with each bite to make better choices and to start listening a little closer to my bodies singles of satisfaction.   This is a battle I know I will fight every day for the remainder of my life, but in order to have a life, I must fight it each day.   I don't come on here much any more due to being busy, but I miss my friends- I miss my encouragers. I miss my one person who will kick my butt if needed. So firends- fire away- give it to me- help me get moving again. Everyone needs support once in a while.
Kime-lou

Kime-lou

2
What do you mean I'm fat?!?
 

Slump.......

So I hit another goal today, but I'm in a slump!! Not doing great on getting my protein or water in, slacking off seriously on the vitamins, and didn't exercise for 5 days while my trainer was on vacation!! Serious case of the lazies. Trying to dig deep for the motivation to get back on track and get to my next goal, but I'm having a hard time finding the oomph I need to kick me into gear. I'm 7 lbs from halfway, that should be motivating, right? And yet......I lag. Lose 20 lbs - complete!
Get under 200 lbs - complete!
Lose 45 lbs - complete!
Get to 190 - complete!
Lose 50 lbs- complete!
Get to 186 - complete!
Get to 179 (halfway!)
Get to 165
Get to 160
Get to 155
Get to 150
Get to 145
Get to 140
Get to 135
Get to 125
Get to 120
zenandnow

zenandnow

1
Fibro Diva's Bariatric Blog
 

Weight Loss and Clothing Size

I'm kind of frustrated. I've lost nearly 50 pounds since starting the pre-op program. Pre-op clothes that fit perfectly are falling off me. Pre-op clothing that was too tight are fitting just right. So yesterday I want shopping for some fall and winter clothing and the only thing that fit was in my pre-op clothing size. :-(   What gives. I never really liked shopping at LB but now I'm wondering is there something fishy with their sizing policy.
FibroDiva

FibroDiva

9
only1likeme78's Blog
 

The Real Deal

Hi, Im a new to this journey and want to Congratulate all of the pre(for making the decision) and post op sleevers(for sticking with your decision). I have been debating and investigating this surgery since August 2011. I was afraid and uneducated when it came to bariatric surgery. I love this ap/website because of the positive energy and honesty, Im hoping this will help guide me thru this life long transformation. FOR ALL POST OP patients, I wanted to know..what did you feel when you first woke up from surgery, what was the first thing that came to mind, how was the pain, did you cry, how long after you woke up did you start walking the track AND if you had to....would you do it again. I finally made my decision for this life long journey on July 30 2013 and started off very slow, taking my time with support groups, and spacing out my appointments only because I was so afraid and so confused. I have just been cleared by my PCP and am now awaiting my surgery date..so Im out of the dark but cant help but still wonder I jump on this forum or look at some pics on youtube and that keeps me focus and gives off positive energy..My nurse keeps telling me my feeling are normal and Im sure they are...I cant wait to feel and look healthy Hope to hear from some POST OPS
Only1likeme

Only1likeme

3
In search of..... Me!
 

Why is this so hard?

I have started, deleted and restarted this post so many times. It shouldn't be this difficult to write my first post, I have so much to say... I don't want to start at the "beginning" that needs to come, but I am not sure if I am ready to put into words what brought me to the place I am today. So I think I am going to just talk about why this surgery is important to me. The goals I want to achieve with this surgery and what I want to do for myself along the way.   Goals   Its easy to set a weight loss goal. I have had a number in mind from the first time I stepped foot in a Weight Watchers meeting when I was 23 years old. I picked a number right smack in the middle of the "acceptable" range. 142... The last time I saw a weight that started with a 1 and a 4 was when I was in the 7th grade. There is a part of me that thinks there is no way in this world I will ever EVER achieve that number again. There is a bigger part of me that says I can do this, no I can do this! So in my head I have a few weight loss goals, and reasons.   280: I chose this number because spring of 2012 I worked my butt off for months, with a trainer, 5-6-7 days a week in the gym. Taking step followed by Combat in one day and not blinking an eye. I lost 15# and for the life of me I could not get past 280, I grew frustrated and worried about answering to my trainer and.... I gave up.   261: Forever... my top weight was 261, I mean years. I started Weight Watchers so many times at this number it is unreal. It also happens to be the weight where my body seems to react to my weight and causes a metabolic response that causes me to be irregular with my monthly cycle (Sorry guys if this is TMI but it is true) From the moment we women start menstruating we women complain about how horrid it is, how much it effects our lives. After struggling for the past few years of random 2-3 times a year cycles I can say there is nothing that makes me feel like less of a woman than the fact that I do miss that every month. It might sound crazy but I think the first time I get my cycle two times in a row I will probably cry...   220: The one and only time I have been completely successful in a weight loss journey was 5.5 years ago. I counted every damn calorie I stuck in my mouth, I counted every damn calorie I burned on the eliptical, I worked hard and it showed. I had someone, that I respect very much, tell me I was like a rose getting ready to bloom any day. I WILL be that rose someday.... and I can't wait.   199: Who doesn't have this as a goal? The last time I weight around this weight was after I gave birth to my son. My pregnancy was not the cause of my weight gain. I started my pregnancy at 190# I gave birth to my son at 204# and the day I left the hospital I weight 189#. Yes I was overweight, I admit it, but I was OK.   I don't really have a goal between 199 and 142. I don't know where I will land. I know this... I will not stop until I am happy. I love strength, I love muscle and there is nothing that makes me happier than showing up my friends on the gym floor with the weights. We have a University in my town that does body composition testing with the egg thing, once I get to the point where I feel I am close to a goal or I am feeling comfortable I am going to get a full body composition. I did this to lose weight and be healthy, I want to have a healthy body fat percentage and I want it to be accurate.   More than anything... Size 2, Size 22 I am doing this for me, and only me. I want to be healthy and truly happy for the first time in a really really long time. I can't wait to add more along the road!   I leave you with a picture of me and my pride and joy. I always wanted FIVE children and God has blessed me with one perfectly imperfect son. I know I will have more children someday, more than likely through adoption or marriage but.... you never know! He is my reason.... He is my soul.... He is my life.... He is rotten... and makes me work for kisses (typical 14yo)
Macy6

Macy6

2
dylanmiles23's Blog
 

doing the wrong thing

Ok none of us is totally perfect. You come on this site and tell us that you were extremely bad and don't want people to comment. If you robbed a bank, killed someone etc. would you still be pissed people commented? Same thing in my eyes. Do something wrong and write about it, people will say something. This is the USA, freedom of speech.   That's all folks for tonight. Arlene
dylanmiles23

dylanmiles23

0
SolracSpree's Blog
 

Just an update

So 2 weeks go I hit my 226 pound mark. As of today I am 221. I think once I get down to the teens i'm going to just be in shock. I am surprised to say the least that my weight is coming off as quickly as it is. (Those who know me know I'm a "bad girl" when it comes to food and I expected to lose quite slowly)   I spoke about a stall a few weeks ago as well.. safe to say thats stall is over and I've have learned my lesson. Keep my calorie count in the 1400-1500 range = losing weight 1000-1300 calories range = stall.   Experienced some different things this past few weeks.     I am starting my own business. I have a business partner and we are coming up with all the details currently. We hope to pilot our business in June of 2014. If all goes well it will be full-time. Wish me luck!     I also went to the county fair. this past weekend and tasted so many guilty treats. Deep fried oreos, deep fried Reese, cheesecake, vodka, and popcorn. And before anyone loses their damn mind. Did I eat all 7 oreos?? No, I had 1. Did I eat a whole cheesecake no- a bite. So simmer down now.     Sex - so had sex quite recently and I was able to wrap my legs around my boyfriends waist. HECK YES!! I can tell a huge difference in that department from where I was 45 pounds ago.     And then theres the hate- I have noticed all the random post about people quite frankly - losing their damn mind. People are getting so upset over some things that really I just like- Wow I wish I had time in my day to let things like this get to me, because I would have to have ALOT of spare time. In conclusion i think I have seen the following things...   1. People looking for people to tell them its OK to break the rules - You are just asking people to be nasty and tell you how undedicated you are and to listen to your Doctors Orders   2. If people are constantly telling you that you sound rude - maybe you should work on that. If you dont care then stop replying back. Cause thats what people do when they dont give a damn.   In the end this is just a website. Now I have made some awesome online buddies and gotten some invaluable advice, but what is really important is what is happening in my life, not on some computer screen. And if your life revolves around this site then maybe take a step and look for something tangible off the cyber world. In the end, these are people we don't know, will more than likely never interact with, so in my mind their opinions and complaints only go so far.
SolracSpree

SolracSpree

2
intelirish's Blog
 

Your first Joy ride post op

So here i am 4 day's post op and feeling pretty good considering.. hunger is controlled with little to no food.. first time EVER i'm sure this is more a result of the swelling more than the band but if its a good indication of what's ahead and how i'll manage life will be good..any way i digress .... my daughter and her friend had decided to go into town for some much deserved frozen yogurt.. not sure what they did to deserve it but when her friends barely one week old new to her car would not start after she came by to pick her up the look of disappointment was more than this mom could manage so while the dad's tried to figure out the car issue... she agreed and is blaming it on the med's she's not actually taking any more.... to allow her daughters friend to drive her car into town and get some yogurt.. and went with them again "insert meds".... the drive into town was mostly mom change the IPOD no not that song.. geeze mom it's still on repeat to crap there goes my shake all over the floor of my car.. i was surprised by my TOTAL lack of interest in anything at the frozen yogurt place.. the journey home was much more quite but a lot more bouncy having taken a different route home.. Lesson learned those important decisions they as you NOT to make immediately post op.. perhaps they should extend it to the weekend i survived it was a trip.. but i'm glad it's over... heart back in chest.
intelirish

intelirish

1
bianca22's Blog
 

Maine Anthem BCBC Insurance?

I am new to all of this, I am an educator and I have Anthem BCBS of Maine. Has anyone with this insurance ran into any problems with them going through the process? I will be seeing my doctor and asking if I can have the surgery. I'm 5'7 213 lbs I have been on medication for anxiety/depression for about 10 years, anemic and have tried everyhting out there some twice. I'm hoping to be approved, any ideas or suggestions???
bianca22

bianca22

1
Gamergirl's Blog
 

Today I hit Onderland

Just barely but I’m there. This is a term I learned from hanging out on various online forums. Onderland. That magic place when your weight starts with the number 1. I have to say, it’s less exciting for me than for some others because I didn’t start that much above it, and only had to lose 30 lbs to get there, but it’s a nice, mini-milestone. But here’s another way to look at it, and this does indeed excite me. Today, I have lost a third of the excess weight I need to lose. A third of the way there! Now that’s something to celebrate. It’s also a good way to know that the surgery is working, or rather than I am working it. Once I came off the stall, I seem to have lost .4 lbs, .2 lbs, .6 lbs, but it’s still a wonderful downward trend, and I think I’ll take it!
gamergirl

gamergirl

12
My journey
 

Ugh!

So, my wife today again used the "S" word to describe me - Sickly. She says I'm getting too thin, and need to put on more weight. I don't know how to stop. I think I may be leveling off - I was 178 a few days ago, 180 yesterday, and 181 this morning. I don't want to start going in the wrong direction, but she doesn't understand that. I've told her several times that it hurts me when she says that, and that it isn't helpful, but she won't stop. Come to think of it, she's never really been very supportive of me, post-op. She had the surgery also, so you would think she would understand. But when I would be excited about the weight loss, or breaking a stall, I would get little or no reaction from her. I'm not quite sure what her issue is, but it is maddening to me. Maybe it's because I'm thinner than I've ever been in the 17 years we've known each other. Maybe it's because some of my clothes don't exactly fit me too well, and my neck looks tiny in the too-big neck holes of my tshirts. Who knows? Oh well, everyone else tells me I look great, and I feel great, so I'm going to try to not let it get to me.
BigDaddyJoe

BigDaddyJoe

10

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