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Onederful Opportunity
 

Again...

I can't believe I'm here. I've battled with my weight for 30 years and here I am beginning a journey for weight loss surgery. Why can't I believe it? I remember when people first started having surgery in my circle of friends. I always had such a strong opinion about it. It seemed so extreme. I felt like if I even thought about surgery it only meant that I was so far gone that I couldn't possibly do it on my own. I've always had a problem asking for help.   I spent the last decade especially floating from one diet to another having success for a while with each but nothing that would last. In that same time frame I watched some people have amazing transformations with surgery and just like my non-surgical diets some would maintain and others would lose it all just to gain it back.   It wasn't until late last year that I decided to stop having preconceived notions about surgery and started really looking into it. The good, the bad, the ugly, and more. The complications, the dumping, the vomiting as well as the advancements and changes and the many surgical options that are available now. The more I read the more I was intrigued. The more I learned that anyone who thinks -- like I used to -- that surgery was a cop out or a quick fix is completely wrong. There's a lot of work involved and you have to be really dedicated to make these procedures work.   I wish I could say that my family was immediately supportive of my decision to look into surgery but other than my husband who loves and supports me in any and every endeavor they were less than pleased. My 19 year old daughter thinks that i should be able to do it all on my own and my mother thinks that I will go through the surgery and then "ruin" it. My 17 year old son is supportive of my decision to lose weight but fears the complications for the surgery but not my choice to have it. Needless to say, I've spent the past 6 months pouring over the types or surgeries, the stories of patients, the risks, the success rates, and more.   I found Bariatric Pal a couple months ago and I've been lurking through all the forums and stories and now that I finally have my initial consultation next week I figured I'd come out of the shadows and start logging my journey. There's no guarantee at this point that I'll even be approved for surgery so I may be getting ahead of myself but I figured that I would want to journal everything leading up to the big day and beyond. I enjoy blogging and I'm able to better express myself and my feelings through writing and I know that I'll be able to look over this again and see just how far I've come.   All I know is that this is a Onderful Opportunity that I won't "ruin" and I'll really give it my all to be successful. Here we go! I'm reaching out for help and I kinda like it.
rhodywoman

rhodywoman

1
Roo101769's Blog
 

My BFF

One of my oldest and dearest friends had VSG surgery on 12/17/13. He has been doing absolutely fabulous. In fact, I am a little jealous at his success because he has trounced me in weight loss. ( He started his pre op diet 12/3 and since that date he has lost 85lbs. I started dieting on my own 8/1 and total, including post op weight loss since 10/21 surgery date, I have lost 75lbs) Ok, granted he is male. And he had a lot more weight to lose. But I have to admit I am jealous as all can be too. I know I should not be. And when we speak I do not mention my stupid, irrational feelings. Yet there is one issue that has me absolutely baffled and even more upset. I am two months ahead of him. I was a guide (of sorts) to him early on. I would share my experiences and thoughts with him as he prepared to journey through things I recently had. But since his surgery we have very little contact. I keep track of him through his weekly Youtube blogs. I can't understand what happened. We had planned to be there and support each other as we did this. We had discussed sharing food as neither of us could eat much, didn't want weeks worth of leftovers, yet wanted to create new recipes for our new lifestyles. I bought him a Yonana machine for his birthday last August, preparing for his coming surgery. In the two months between my surgery and his something happened, but what it was I don't know. Shortly after I had my surgery he sort of disappeared. I was not hearing from him and would have to reach out to him several times before we would actually connect. When he was struggling through the early stages of his pre op diet I tried to be as supportive as I could. I encouraged him and did all I could to be the friend he needed. Then he had his surgery. After that he shut down, at least towards me. During his recovery he was too tired or not feeling well and didn't want to chat. As he healed he continued the distance. He speaks about reconnecting with all his old friends on his video blogs, yet I am being left behind. I am not sure what the reason is. Maybe it is because I am his former fat friend, from his former fat life. Maybe he feels our friendship is toxic for his newfound healthier lifestyle. Yet I have changed too, I am not the fat friend I once was. I am the friend who has been there through many major life events with him. I held his had at his dad's funeral. I held his hand as he went through a fight with cancer. ( and came out of completely in remission) I accepted and supported him when he came out, even as he struggled with his family to accept. We have been through thick and thin together, literally. Yet now, when we were both at a place where support is critical and we are both on the same page....He has gone. Maybe I was expecting too much from him, I don't know. All I know is it really hurts me deeply that he is wanting to move on with his life so entirely while our friendship is being pushed aside. I truly thought both of us having the sleeve surgery would only ingrain our long time friendship that much deeper, but it appears I was wrong. Watching him from the sidelines is becoming hard to do. How do I celebrate my friend's success when it has meant our friendship is suffering?
Roo101769

Roo101769

1
The Lardy Duchess
 

Day 5 pre-op

So yesterday was stressful   Contractor chaos at home along with my poor dog who is nervous around ladders and paint rollers.   I took her to her doggy day care as this wears her out.   I'd planned on breakfast and lunch as I had meetings to attend. I drank breakfast on the way to the morning meeting. I ordered tea only but was sort of wistfully sad when a colleague ordered my favourite breakfast sandwich and sat next to me. I focused on ignoring her until she was done. As I was at a restaurant and because I had time to kill until a much later appointment I went outside to get my iPad and "lunch". When I picked up the bag and had already gotten it inside I realized that the shake had opened and had spilled its contents onto my SmartShape paperwork and onto my chargers. I got a load of napkins and pulled stuff out of the bag. I'm sue I looked ridiculous as it's colour - due to me adding a packet of crystal light to the vanilla shake looked a bit like blood. I caught MANY looks and a manager came over after asking if he could help me. Once I told him what had happened he laughed his head off.   The manager left and then I had to hunt an electrical outlet because of course my iPad was out of juice - typical. I knew that some seating areas had outlets but I had a hard time discerning which ones because the baseboards are painted black as are the outlets. I asked a waitress for help but she was just unsure of which tables had the outlets.   Now I'm not tiny. I'm 5'11" and I weigh 250 lbs. bending over to try to see is a challenge. I decided that because I HAD to get some of this work done that I'd have to get down on my hands and knees to see if I could see the &$(!?$$ outlet. I crawled underneath the table and finally was able to see it. So picture this - my full (REALLY full) moon was in the air and because I'm so tall I keep knocking my but and my head on the table threatening to overturn it. I look up and can see the shins of others passing by and two women who are sitting across from my table say "where's the wacko with the bloody bag". I emerged from under the table and smiled at them and said "right here"   As I left the restaurant I stopped and bought hubby a treat ignoring my most favourite cookie.   What a day. I'm admitting to hunger on occasion, but I haven't eaten anything I'm not allowed.   Having seemingly non stop chaos at home leaves me tired. By tomorrow the painters will be in the basement and I should be able to mostly working from home.   No access to pictures. Feels odd to end this without a picture. Tomorrow I'll post two to make up!
NancyintheNorth

NancyintheNorth

2
Roo101769's Blog
 

Hello old friend

Wow. I cannot believe I haven't blogged since surgery! I will blame it in the problems incurred from the switch over from the old site to new, but the truth is I have had a lot of emotions that have blocked me. I truly and honestly thought I was 100% ready and motivated for this surgery. Early out I held in there so well, being super careful to follow the plan to the letter. Heck I even had a lot of restriction early on, almost too much. But then it all changed. One day I realized I didn't feel the restriction I once had. I could eat more. I assume I healed and swelling went down and this is what I have, my new stomach. But I liked the post op one better, then one that couldn't hold as much. This one gets hungry. Hunger still feels the same post op, it just doesn't take the same amount of food to make hunger go away. I have learned the difference between what I feel like eating protein dense food, and what it feels like to eat junk. I wasn't going to be the person to mess back with junk, no not me!! Until the day I put that first bite of whatever it was in my mouth. My stomach didn't complain. I tolerated it. Flood gates opened back up. No, I haven't binged on a daily basis since I had my first slider food. But I have had entirely too many sliders since that occurred. It is only by the grace of God I have continued to lose weight, although slowly. To date I have lost 42 lbs in four months post op. I am just not one who posts the big numbers, for whatever reason. Maybe because I had lost a bit pre op, on my own diet. ( 33 lbs) Maybe I am just a slow loser. Or maybe , and yes I realize this is more likely than not, maybe it is because of my lack of conviction of late. Not only have I taken a walk on the slider side, I am also guilty of Couch Potato-itis. I have all kinds of ideas, plans to get up and get moving. But the end of the day I am not up, I am home sitting. I can blame it on a thousand different things.. I am a single mom (it is hard to make time with a 5yr old) I work 40+ hrs a week, I have other stuff to do etc. But the bottom line is I haven't done it. I need to exercise. At least part of me wants to. Yet I am a big lazy blob once the work day is over and I go home, take care of the dogs, and make supper. Weekends are only slightly better. At least one of the two days I spend hours running up and down stairs doing housework and laundry. The other day may or may not consist of watching tv. Occasionally we go do something...something. It has been a rather cruddy winter so I am ready to go outside and DO something, so is my daughter. There is a lot of outdoor activities I want to do this year as I have been unable to do them in years past with my weight, things I want to do with my daughter. But I also sort of worry I will cop out of that too, as I have done with each and every other thing I had planned to get myself moving. I just do no know what has caused this "ugh" factor in me. I was so darn pumped to get this surgery. I was so darn excited to lose the weight finally. Is it because I was have fantasies of returning to an "old" version of me? One that last hit one-derland in my twenties? I haven't been twenty in over twenty years, I can't go back! And let's not start on the toll the weight took on my body. I haven't been at my current weight in at least the past 17 years, but it is hard to enjoy it as much because of how bad I look. The decade of obesity has stretched the skin past its rebound point. I have rolls, just more deflated. My double chin is mostly gone but in its place are deep ridges no amount of facial exercise and firming cream is going to fix I fear. And my hair is....gone. As I have said many times over my situation is unique with other factors contributing to my hair loss. But dang....it is harder than I thought. I hate having to wear a wig, even if it does look good. And when the wig is off I absolutely cannot stand to see what is left. I look horrible. I look sick. It is so hard to stand and look at myself and enjoy what is happening (losing weight) when I cannot stand to look at my true self. Maybe that is why I stopped blogging. I am depressed. I am so hurt by what I allowed myself to become and now what it has done to my body. I can't go back, only forward. I still want to get the weight off. I want to reach goal, but I admit I am very scared. If I am so unhappy now (with my body) what will I feel when there is nothing left but sagging skin, wrinkles, a bald head and smaller clothes? Maybe some of my slider sabotage has been to stall that from coming. Maybe I am afraid I won't be happy when I am at goal, and then what? I have a lot to deal with, but then again who doesn't? I am going to try to blog more and hope I can talk my way through all of it. Sometimes just getting it out can be a first step. ( I hope)
Roo101769

Roo101769

2
tina1577's Blog
 

Got my Date!

Super Excited. I got my date finally March 19th will be the day. I will be going next week to do the final stages of pre-op stuff, getting all my hospital stuff done, and getting my pre-surgery diet stuff. I will do the pre-surgery 2 week diet liquids only from the 5th to surgery date, and I will be all set to go. I can't wait. I have my support in place for when I have the surgery and when I am get done. I will be able to finally feel like the me I want to be. I am so tired of feeling like I do, and feeling like I can't do the things I want to do because I am to heavy and my body doesn't work right? I am going to do everything right and follow all my diet rules and do whatever I have to to keep up with my protein. I love myself, and I want to just be happy now!!! So thankful for this website for helping me to stay strong with this seeing the people post pictures and posts and reading everything has helped me tremendously!!! I am looking forward to passing that on and helping others with my pictures. Thanks and Good luck to you all!!!
pupichupi

pupichupi

3
to lose or not to lose
 

The seven week stall

Now that I have survived the 7 week stall, I find myself unable to get back on track. In an effort to lose weight, I increased my calories, increased my exercise and tried to increase my protein and water. When it all failed after an honest 6 week atitempt, I gave up. I quit dieting, exercising... Now I have lost 3 lbs and find myself feeling down in the dumps. Not sure where all the motivation went but it has got up and gone along with my energy and hope. I have spent days trying to get myself back on the treadmill and trying to keep my food intake at bay and it just seems frivolous. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to spark my flame again? I have been trying to get my workout buddy to go to the gym with me for motivation but we seem to have opposite schedules and I just can't seem to go there on my own. I have tried being accountable to someone else when I exercise but that isn't working either. I don't want my journey to be over already.
emsgma

emsgma

1
The Lardy Duchess
 

Day 4 Pre-op

Well yesterday (which was day 4) was better and yet tougher in some ways.   The handsome one and I are in major renovations. And yesterday was the home depot, IKEA and a local carpeting place, followed by a trip to the grocery store (more on this in a bit). Now that the master bed and bath is complete, it's moving furniture back into place, lifting, moving, up an down the stairs. I'm glad for the exercise, as it's too icy outside to walk, but I'm also glad that hubby and I decided that today was a 'day off' work wise.   Hubby was sure to ask me repeatedly if I wanted to stay home rather than run errands and especially go to the grocery store. In my thoughts I feel that I have to face the grocery store, it's not reality when you choose to eliminate something that is vital like getting food. But it was hard....really hard and sort of sad - for only a bit. I wanted to buy bags of chips so that I could sit in front of the tv and consume them. On the way out of the store I had that same sad feeling when I could smell the chicken roasting. I know that these things can come back to me in food, but I'll have to be especially wary of chips.   Today I've woken up feeling great despite all of yesterdays work. I'll try to walk again today and if not, I have a small trampoline downstairs that I'll use.   I'm so grateful for all of the comments I receive. I thank you for reading and commenting. This is a great forum for getting the support you need.  
NancyintheNorth

NancyintheNorth

3
fit2Bme2014's Blog
 

Bullies

I find it interesting that some people, here, have an issue with others with differing opinions. I'm sure they'd be the first to complain should somebody question their opinions. Yet they take it upon themselves to publicly...'shame' others. I've seen it over and over on these boards. Same bullies, almost, every time. Everybody's different. And everybody's going to different things. Everyone is hopefully learning and growing. My put bleach on a plant, when you should be fertilizing it.
fit2Bme2014

fit2Bme2014

2
allbeast1979's Blog
 

Loving it but impatient

Hello all, my name is Jeremy and I have been huge all my live but never bothered me. In 2011 I was doing great I was down to 450, working out by lifting weight and walking a mile every day but had a few issues with back due to an car accident when I was younger, the weight never bothered me due to me being able to do everything for myself. Then I was sent to a chiropractor and he made my back worse, I had to start using a cane, I gained all my weight back and more, took me up to 575lbs. Then I got frustrated and said let me try the surgery so I had my surgery on Friday Jan 24, 2014, I was scared to death when I went in but was quick and out of there that Sunday and in pain but was from knock out gas lol. The liquid diet was fine and I was sad when I went shopping and family and friends was buying real food, but I was lucky that my girl was on a diet with me and she ate at work and just had shakes at home. Since I been home I have been doing great with the liquid diet but hard to drink but got better. I saw my Dr a week after surgery February 3,2014 and was down to 508 and was very happy. I was told to do light stuff and to let my body recover so I did light stuff and I feel great so started doing more and more like, walking more, walking dogs, using bands, and my energy is coming back slowly, so I wanted to weigh myself again but I need to use scales in hospital so I went in on February 12,2014 and was down to 498 and was not that happy but I should be. Now my energy is back hard core and feel great. I get 90g of protein in a day, 60oz of water a day and feel great. I play biggest loser on my xbox 360 Kinect, for 20min a day, cleaning like crazy, using 20lb dumbbells and doing all kinds of lifting with them for my back and arms but I want to do my bench pressing and weight lifting and want to start swimming and want to so much more stuff but I am not cause my next appointment is February 24,2014. I fell so good I want to so much more, I am not using my cane for a week now, I am sticking to my 1200 calorie diet, and I have so much energy and cant release it but through the game. I am hoping the doc says I can start doing those things and I am hoping to start looking for a job as soon as I have no pain in my back. My goal is 300lbs but docs say that I might go lower but I really don't want to cause I want to be a lot of muscle but if I do I do. I am shooting to be 300 by end of year.
allbeast1979

allbeast1979

1
Yes!! Its alll about me for a change
 

celebrate the small things the same way you would celebrate the big ones.

Good Morning Bandmates, Today was offically my day one. I was banded 7/27/11 and made great strides to losing weight with the tool we call lap band. My starting weigh was 281 poounds. throughout the year my lowest weight was 185 pounds. I was so happy that not only did I complete a task and follow through with it I can honestly say that the journey was hard but well worth the every up and downs of the journey. I had a baby in december and like i said previous I had unfills throughout my pregnancy. I was enjoying the pregnancy and the cravings were off the wall and to be honest i enjoyed every moment. I have to say that looking at my daughter I can say I made that and I thank god that he has allowed me to take part in the mircle of making her. My baby is now 2 months old and I am now healed and ready to tackle the journey once again to losing the weight that I have gained. My current weight is 261 pounds. I have no shame about that number. I say that because I know with hard work and true focus I will get back to my post weight. today I got on the exercise bike today and oh my goodness was it hard work. I didn't go as long as I would have like would have liked but like my husband told me a little will go along way. I was fustraded because I didn't do what I planned. I think that sometimes we put more pressure on ourselves that when we don't meet our own expextations that we shut down and feel like you have nothing eles to offer. I believe that with every failure that I have endured I have just as many success. I had to think about the first day after my surgery and I wanted to tackle the world and I set all these goals that I was going to meet and I was going to show everyone what I could do. When I didn't meet my first goal I cried. I don't even know why I was crying. No one told me show me what you got? no one said I had to lose weight by a curtin day.I had to get out my own way and allow baby steps and thats when I started to see the results. If you are new to getting lap band or you are a vetern we will all face ups and downs through the journey. I have a "crockpot" mentality ( see my previous post) Today I chose to celebrate my task of getting back to being active and I may not have road my bike for the 30 mins that I planned but I did make an honest attempt, I know that as I continue to push myself and with the support of my husband I will be successful. today's task celebrate the small things the same way you would celebrate the big ones.   Until Tomorrow Msoutlaw
msoutlaw378

msoutlaw378

2
The Lardy Duchess
 

Day 3 Pre-Op

I'm tired, really tired and pretty weak. On the other hand, I'm soooooooooo glad to be on this pre-op because it's helping me so much in gaining control.   Yesterday it dawned on me that the Unjury Chicken Soup wasn't discussed in any of the handouts I have. I checked with the dietician and she says it's off limits during this phase, so yesterday, it was just Slim Time for me. I tried the chocolate during lunch and used the chocolate and put in a fair amount of peppermint extract. Made me imagine that I was eating Girl Scout Thin Mints. Any trick will work for me.   Other than being tired I feel fine, hungry at times but I just continue to swamp myself with water. I'm glad that I drank a lot of water before I started this (it's maybe the ONE good thing I've done for a long long time), otherwise I'd struggle to get it all in.   Along with surgery, I'm also spending time with a therapist who specializes in obesity and family issues. I've long been convinced that my eating difficulties are related to 'stuffing' emotional issues. I can see now how I had few outlets for my emotions and that translated into me eating to sooth myself. I have to learn new behaviours.   I'm glad I'm doing therapy at the same time. I think my odds of relapsing will be lessened if I could just get a handle on why I do what I do (binge eating, overeating, etc.) and how to stop doing what I've always done.   It's not to say that I think I wouldn't relapse - god that scares me SO much. My parents were alcoholic and they never relapsed but they talked about how easy it is, and I equate this to something like alcoholism - an addiction. Once I start with the carbohydrates and the sweet stuff I am lost and reigning myself in is very very difficult.   I'm blessed that I can have this surgery and for now, I'm grateful for the pre-op diet.  
NancyintheNorth

NancyintheNorth

3
Yes!! Its alll about me for a change
 

Change is good

Good Afternoon Bandmates, It has been so long since I have made an enrty I almost feel bad about not doing so. I say almost because I know my reasons are good. I have been enjoying life. God has truly blessed me in a way that I wake up every morning thanking him. Well, I am about to celebrate my 3 year bandiversary. 7/27/11 I was had my lap band and I truly believe that to this day that I made the right choice for me. I am also going to be celebrating my 2 year wedding anniversry. I must say my husband is my best friend. we have our moments but for the most part I thank god for blessing me with a great provider for our family. I received my third blessing, My daughter Essence Laverne on December 26. I look at her and wonder how did I get so lucky to be chosen to be her mother. I gained a lot during my pregnancy and I will say that I have no shame about doing so. I have unfills and I knew that by doing so that i ran the risk of gaining weight back. I am 10 pounds shy from my pre surgery weight and once again I am OK with it. I think because I know what needs to get done and I believe that if I was successful the first time I will be successful again, I was thinking about possibly getting the sleeve done but I think that with the success that I have already had with the lapband that if I focus and I will accomplish my goal.   Unitl Tomorrow Msoutlaw
msoutlaw378

msoutlaw378

0
The Lardy Duchess
 

Day 2 Pre-op

I'm just about to go on my walk and then have lunch afterwards. Last night I was so tired and I think it's the shock of the diet, plus yesterday they took a ton of blood from me for pre-surgery testing, plus my walk. A slight headache today.   I've been using the Vanilla Slim Time and have added a packet of raspberry crystal light. DELISH   As a snack I've been using Unjury chicken soup...also well worth the money.  
NancyintheNorth

NancyintheNorth

0
LadyDiva618's Blog
 

My First Fill.

BAHAHAHA! I am so silly! How is everyone? I know I've been quiet on here lately but I've been so busy at both jobs. When I get home I just want to work out and sleep!   Confession time..... I don't like needles and yet I pick the surgery that requires needles. LOL   Anyway yesterday I had my first fill and it was not bad at all. I didn't look just relaxed.   I forgot there isn't alot of protein in full liquids.... So I brought some tomato soup and added a 1/2 of serving of plain greek yorgurt.   For dinner me and Fun Boy had a greek yogurt. Beleive or not this keep fill until 830 this morning.   Anyway I finally found my port on my own! It is funny how the little things bring me enjoy!   God is good   Thanks for reading.
LadyDiva618

LadyDiva618

0
The Lardy Duchess
 

Day 1 of Pre-op

So day 1 of pre-op Slim Time liquid 'diet'. I have two weeks of this before my surgery on March 5th and then one week afterwards. I'm feeling a bit weak today as I had a ton of blood taken from me for pre-op testing.   First shake - vanilla Slim Time - I put in a bunch of cinnamon too, liked it lots.   Today I also start walking. My dog will be out of her mind happy. I hope to walk safely despite the snow and ice.   I'm ready to go on this new change. I also get to eat some vegetables during this time, and also, during this time (two weeks), I'll put the scale in hubby's car. Otherwise I'll check every single day and that's not a good idea for me.  
NancyintheNorth

NancyintheNorth

3
Momonanomo's Blog
 

month 9ish post op, down 105 lbs

Well Well Well..... It’s been 9 months (roughly) since I had my surgery on 5/22/13. That’s enough time to have gestated and given birth to a baby --- I am 105 lbs lighter. That would have been a really big baby! LOL   First – I will say -- the weight loss is slowing down, it is much more irregular. And, my eating is much more, shall we say, irregular as well. So it’s not the weight loss slowing down all on its own. I take some responsibility. I have gotten more lax in some ways. Still don’t eat very much in the way of bread, no rice, no pasta. Those things just no longer appeal to me. Which is – shocking! I never would have dreamed of that! And this will be my saving grace in the long run I bet. But I’ve had sweets here and there. And more cheese than I should have. Time to get a handle on that. I’m not in denial about it, and I have goals to reach so dammit I will do what it takes!   The weight loss began to slow a couple of months ago --- it was bound to happen and I expected it. I went all that time with no real stalls at any point. Funny thing is – I swear I lose a bunch in inches when the scale is NOT moving much. I’m sooooo glad I took my measurements and logged them into spark people way back in the beginning, because when the scale isn’t moving I can see that my circumference is getting smaller I have lost – gulp --- 15 inches off my waist and 14 inches off my hips. WOW.   I do have more of an appetite now. Nowhere near where it was before, thank GOD. But some days I have to catch myself grazing. So, when I began to struggle a bit I decided to try what a lot of vets are trying, the 5:2 plan. I am going to put something out here that on the regular board may invoke an uprising, but this is my blog, so I want to put forth this theory: the 5:2 plan has been bad for me.   I have been reading on the boards the vets raving about the 5:2 ( 5 days of normal eating and 2 intermittent days of really low calorie “fasting” days) and I think it harkens back to my old unhealthy eating habits so much so that it has caused me some problems. I have tried it for the last few weeks, because I could sense that my weight loss was slowing down (as it naturally does when you get closer to goal).   Well it has really felt like my old days of strict dieting and then going a bit crazy on the non-fasting days. I think falling into this pattern is to blame for my weight loss to stagnate further than it would otherwise have. I think I need to get back to a consistent and reasonable, healthy daily diet routine. With an occasional treat meal. Now, the vets out there who love 5:2 --- well it seems to be working great for them and I don’t fault them a bit for doing it. I just think for me, it is too similar to my old disordered way of eating. The thing is that I believe in 5:2 in theory, and I know that the 5 non fasting days doesn't mean these are Go Crazy days. It's just that for me, the 2 fasting days trigger me in such a way that I can easily go crazy on the non fasting days. It isn’t going to be something that works for me, at least at this point in my journey. It seems to work for me as a maintenance tool – I have stayed in roughly the same place for several weeks lol.   And an interesting thing I want to comment on with clothing and sizes. I weigh 184 today. Fifteen years ago I was (briefly) at my Weight Watchers goal weight of 165. I wore a size 10 then. Today, I am also in a size 10. Which means that when I get down to 165, surely I will be in at least an 8? So I can’t figure out if I am actually smaller this time due to more exercise and having more lean muscles this time (muscle weighs more than body fat) or is this vanity sizing in action? My husband says it’s probably a little of both….   Another funny thing with clothing and the body dysmorphic disorder that losing a lot of weight fairly quickly can bring on: when I go to put on my size 10 jeans, and they look so impossibly small in my hands that I think there is NO WAY these are going to fit or even come up my thighs let alone over my hips and be able to be buttoned. But then, as I put my feet in the pants legs, one at a time, the seemingly tiny jeans seem to grow until they do indeed effortlessly slide up my legs, over my hips and are easily buttoned. It's like some crazy movie special effects. It is a very strange visual phenomenon! I know my mind is playing tricks on me. I wonder how long this will last?   Anyways, I am still SO grateful to have had this life changing opportunity. Couldn’t be happier with the results, and I know the journey continues. I am committed to the process and to myself   Onward!
Momonanomo

Momonanomo

4
Johnny99's Blog
 

A Goal in Sight

Hey there ... Quick update on a few things. I got on my fancy FitBit scale this morning. I have officially lost the alcohol induced weight gain from my Florida trip plus a little bit more. As a matter of fact, my integrated FitBit app tells me I have 14.7 more pounds to lose to hit my goal of 169. A couple thoughts on that 169. First, I must tell you that the weight is falling off at glacial speed. Which means very, very slow. I am still really trying to stick to the plan that has brought me this far, but the results are far more frustrating than when I started this adventure. Sure, I get it. More ass, more weight loss. Less ass, less weight loss. Statistically speaking, a half pound loss of smaller ass is the percentage equal of a full pound loss of fat ass. So I got that going for me. But I am not doing this to amuse some pudgy mathematician. I really don't give a rat's patooty about a percentage loss. I'm in the game for poundage! The excitement of hitting the home stretch to 169 has been tempered down quite a bit since Dr. X gave me the news back in December that he wants me to go for 150. If you remember, he also told me that we have another year and half to go. New goal date is May 15, 2015. Yes, this kind of took the wind out of my sails. I think I mentally took a breather and took my eye off the ball a bit. Maybe that's why I have been hovering here at the 183ish level for a month or so. I need to get re-motivated. First off, my travel schedule is definitely counterproductive to to maintaining a strict diet plan. Yes, I do really well choosing my food options. I choose healthy foods and reasonable portions. However, these healthy choices are the choices that people make when they are trying to maintain their weight. Not the more restricted menu a weight cutter should be making. It's not that easy when you're dining out for every meal for a week straight. And then there is Al C Hall. There is no way that more than several adult beverages a day is good for weight loss. I know it and you know it. But while I am on a precious vacation, I have to imbibe. Ya know, just to be polite. This is why I settle for maintaining my weight while I'm jet-setting. So here I am. I'm under 15 pounds from my original goal. Working through a hectic travel schedule and trying to maintain my weight. That's not the plan. My plan was to be 169 by May 15, 2014, and I am gonna stick with that plan. That means I'm going to have to change a few things. Honestly, I really need to get more active. It's super hard to get motivated when you're ball deep in snow. Yeah, I'm using the treadmill a bit. And I hit the weights occasionally. But it's not enough and I know it. I enjoy walking on a beautiful summer day during a rousing round of golf. Working the treadmill and staring at the wall, not so much. Maybe I'll try the Shred that Lap Band Girl is always touting? She is my muse. She is always reminding me of what it takes to get to your goal and maintain it. Suffice to say, sitting on my backside is not in the equation. That's it for now. Same goal - 169. Same goal date May, 2014. Same plan? I'm going to have to think on this one. More activity is definitely on the schedule. And maybe I'll cut off one of my now thinner legs. Buh Bye JT Fat Fanatics! Email your comments and questions to: mccgolfer99@gmail.com I will answer all questions and, who knows, your pithy comments might make the blog!
Johnny99

Johnny99

0
Mission Slimpossible
 

I'm actually thin? Yea, I guess I am :)

I went clothes shopping yesterday & for the 1st time in a LONG time, I saw something different in my reflection as I tried on a pair of pants. I took a long, hard look at myself, tilted my head & actually saw myself as "thin." Yea, that's what I said, THIN! I actually fit into size 8 pants. Yup, a size 8. I think my average pant size in high school (31 years ago) was a 10, so I'm fitting into smaller clothes.   I saw a pretty sleeveless little black dress in the fitting room (size Medium) that someone else left behind. Feeling a little brave, I figured ah, what the hell. I haven't warn a dress in YEARS so let's try it on. Oh... my... goodness... Not only did it fit, but it actually looked really nice! I mean, it really looked nice. I had an attractive hour glass figure. Seriously, me! I came out of the dressing room to show my husband. He winked and said "very nice," followed with, "are you OK?" I smiled because I actually had tears in my eyes. I was overwhelmed with such emotion. I didn't cry but I could feel something deep inside me. It almost felt like a happy confusion because there was no denying that I was no longer overweight.   I'm still amazed. After 1 1/2 years on this weight loss journey, I'm finally comfortable & quite happy in my own skin!   Ahhhhh..... feels good, damn good!!!
Domika03

Domika03

2
v4victory's Update
 

Found: Northwest Georgia area heated pool

Hi All: This is my third week enjoying the blessing of finding not only a heated swimming pool, but a hot tub as well. God is good! In Rome, Georgia, they have a YMCA with just what I need. My health insurance provider told me about it, and it's great that I'm covered to participate at eligible fitness locations free of charge. Hooray for the wonderful SilverSneakers program!
v4victory

v4victory

1
The Lardy Duchess
 

Eating Like I'm Scared

like I'm scared that I'll never be able to eat like this again. What the hell is that about anyway?   I want to be free from feeling like I must consume everything in sight, that I must have many many many "last" suppers. And yet what does that say about my desire to do well? Like I'll cram it all down my gullet before I can't anymore, rather than beginning now, claiming now as the best time to start eating right and taking care of myself.   I see now that this an emotional journey as well as a physical one.  
NancyintheNorth

NancyintheNorth

4
sunshine_sandii's Blog
 

HELP NEED ADVICE ON FOOD

It feels so good to know that I am not the only person who saw food as my "freind". I am 5 weeks post and struggling horribly with adjusting to my new lifestyle. Sometimes I feel like Im going through a form of with drawal because a familiar part of me is missing. My family can never understand where Im coming from or why I get soo upset when they order out or sit directly in front of me and stuff pizza in their mouths while I sip 1% milk and protein. It gets so bad that I have to leave the room and spray lysol through out my home so that the tempting smells dont drive me absolutely crazy! I mourn my old friend all the time and I have difficulties eating and finding foods that work for me because deep down its not what Im used to.Then when I do find a healthy alternative I enjoy ,I cant enjoy it. I take 3 or 4 bites and Im completely full. any more and im on the verge of sickness. Food has gone from my best friend to that bully I avoid and am now afraid of. I have no clue how to get over this fear or where it even starts to get better. On top of that my fiance is taking to me vegas for our 6th anniversay at the end of this month and I am completely terrified I wont be able to enjoy my trip. I am technically now out of my 15-30 days puree stage but still not sure what foods I am allowed to eat or try or even if Im allowed a glass of wine on my anniversary. It all just scares me.
sunshine_sandii

sunshine_sandii

2

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