Blogs
3 Day Pre Op Starts Tomorrow (bit of a rant)
Surrounding the holiday
First Entry
Christmas!
1 Week Today :) So Excited!
Nucific Bio X4 Review
Christmas wishes
The Countdown is on :) 12 Days
Preparation for My Upcoming Experience
Will my personality change?
Will there be any complications?
And the all important... Will I be able to handle it and be successful?
Now, before anyone gets too excited with their answers, I think a short back story is warranted (in relation to the questions that filter through my mind)... Am I taking a short cut? As a teenager, I was told not to give up. That quitting anything was negative and you have to work to achieve whatever is worth achieving. Once I hit my pre-teen years, I started gaining weight (but not at the age of 14, that's when I had a growth spurt and seemed to thin out, and never learned how to eat properly). So setting goals was like being on the fence about knowing whether the glass was half empty or half full. That part may not make sense to anyone, but it sounded right in my head. Will my personality change? I've always warn the hat of "the quiet observer" . I'm not loud, I don't wear flashy (or in-and-up-to-date fashion) clothing, and I'm a hermit (being home to me is like eating steak and mashed potatoes... comforting). I've watched and wondered, could I ever wear the "fun" hat? Could I entertain and participate in group get-togethers where the attention will be on me for more than 5 seconds? Could I handle people looking at me and not delve into those thoughts of, "Are they looking at how round I am?" If I could get to a point of not giving a sh*t and loving me because, let's face it, I'm friggen' awesome (currently working on that self-esteem after being told years ago that I wasn't good/thin enough, I don't want to wear the "victim" hat anymore ), I would be able to relax and join the party. Will there be any complications? I know that complications are ALWAYS a possibility, but I've been in the hospital multiple times for multiple reasons. Hospitals freak me out. That's normal, right? Will I be able to handle it and be successful? As an adult, I typically start something, but then have a difficult time following through (why I'm like this now, I have no idea). Where I am located, there's a 6 month pre-op process. I also have support from everyone who matters to me. But I am aware that it all boils down to me, and the strength of my will. I suppose this is where the phrase, "One day at a time" kicks in. So that's what I'm doing... talking to myself (literally). So with all that said, I know I can do this. I CAN.
THE PRE-OP PROCESS
On day 2, I planned well but was not able to execute due to the craziness of the day. I ended up eating a small (by my standards) serving of a healthy bean salad at the potluck. I also took a bite of a delectable dessert and immediately felt nauseous.
On day 3, I was hungry and teary and grumpy, but I made it without straying off plan.
Today, on day 4, I had to work at the office and there were all kinds of leftovers from last week's potluck in the break room (my office opens onto the break room, unfortunately). Eventually I succumbed to tasting two sweets that looked impossibly good, but fortunately they tasted nasty so I spit the taste-bites out. The urge to eat that junk food is now gone!
I was expecting hunger, but I wasn't expecting to be cold constantly. Wore socks and mittens to bed last night! And I was expecting some fatigue, but I didn't expect to want to sleep nonstop! Am hoping that I'm "over the hump" and that the remaining days will be easier. The thought that has been going through my mind a lot these past few days is, "Am I just trading one collection of pills (meds) for another (supplements)?
THE STATE OF THE UNION
Allergies & chronic sinus problems.
Hypothyroid
Hypercholesteremia
Hypertension (managed to 140s/80s w/medication)
Pre-diabetes. 1 point away from full-blown diabetes.
Chronic trochanteric bursitis.
Chronic ITB Pain Syndrome.
Chronic pain from degenerative disc disease in lower back.
Obstructive sleep apnea.
Medications Inhalers (preventative & emergency).
Allergy medicine.
Nasal rinse/topical steroid.
Thyroid.
Antihypertensive.
Antidepressant.
Advil most days.
Quality-of-Life Issues Pain when walking (hips/IT band).
Pain when standing (lower back).
Can't reach my toes directly.
Can't reach my backside.
Uncomfortable fat rolls on neck, sides, & under belly.
Dining rm chair squeezes me uncomfortably.
Simple things make me winded.
Have started driving from one spot to another to avoid walks I would have enjoyed before.
Avoid exertion because it's painful and exhausting.
Ashamed at the example I set for kid.
Can't see to buckle seat belt.
Seat belts lock up on me because I have to pull them out to the maximum.
Fatigue & low energy
Afraid to do anything fun (jump rope, chase dog, etc) due to exertion & fear of getting injured.
Avoid visiting family or seeing old friends.
Can't camp out or stay over unless I have my CPAP (snoring).
Have never been down the slide w/my kid.
Starting Out
"Ideal weight" based on two height/weight standards is 132-136 lbs.
"Normal weight" based on CDC's BMI calculator is 116 - 167 lbs.
So, if I assume an ideal weight on the lower end, that would be about 125 lbs, with 138 lbs "excess weight." Research shows that most WLS patients stabilize at 50-70% of excess weight lost, so for me that would be 166 to 194 lbs. 166-170 would be the MAX I would be satisfied with, and would not be happy AT ALL to go through all of this to lose only 69 lbs and live at 194 lbs, so I really have to USE THIS TOOL WELL! It's hard to imagine what my body will feel like with 100+ lbs less on it!I