:faint: Today is 3-3-06, Friday morning--real early(1:35am). I found out through the Gastric Band Institute that I had to schedule and appointment for a psych evaluation as well as attend a pre-op nutrition and information class. So, March 14th I go for my class in Chattanooga at 2:00p and then March 15th (Wed.) I go for my psych evaluation--also in Chatt town.:nervous I am trusting that God will continue to open doors for me. I realize the potential for this to be a life changing experience and I also realize that God has great things in store for me and my husband. I know that I was not called to be THIS overweight:paranoid . I just think of all the things I could do for the Lord beyond what I am right now. I want to realize my full potential as a christian. I am very serious about this transformation in my life---like a butterfly---a metamorphosis. He is the potter and I am the clay...make me, mold me, bend me, break me...just use me Lord for your purposes. Thank you God for lifting me up!:clap2:
Okay so i was thinking lastnight the things that I would be looking forward after losing weight, and this morning i was kindly reminded.....
Getting of bed without my feet killing me... I fucking hate that!
Also looking at the massive amount of clothes that I have and saying the same thing every day... " I have nothing to wear". I hate that too....
I missed a couple of weeks of my BCP and started them late, so right now I am retaining water and my ankles look like the elephant man.
I am scheduled for my bandaide tomorrow morning and i have been doing atkins for 2 weeks, i cheated my ass off at dinner! I ate a full meal of chinese food. I had triple delite (my personal fav) and 1/2 of the rice. i gave the other half and the big size of the egg roll to my son.... I want to go make myself puke!
So my DH called and his son lost both of his wrestling matches today... That really makes me sad.. I want to see him a winner. Actually he is really a winner anyway, doesn't need a trophy or scholarship.... He made it to state and was the only one in his district and only the second one ever from the history of his school! He rocks! BTW, I LOVE HIS GIRLFRIEND... He better marry her after he graduates college!
So I have to admit, I am really on edge tonite. I am nervous, anxious, scared, excited and exhausted..... another bad night of sleep! I am going to soak in a hot bath, shave my legs and pits and enjoy it.... I will write soon!
I am feeling so much better- kind of like my old self but 16 pounds thinner!
It's rough though trying to work on breaking these head hunger habits of mine. I never really understood how much I was going to the fridge and how many calories I was unconsciously putting in my mouth until I really had to pay attention.
Today I ate too many mushies. Who would've thought it possible? LOL I found that cream of chicken soup tastes so much better with mushed saltines and sour cream on it. It really did taste like a meal but I know it was way more calories than I am supposed to have. DH told me that as long as I am not eating things not on the mushie list that I shouldn't worry as much about the quantity- all i know is that my caloric intake is SO much lower than before, even with that extra sour cream, which was lite by the way.
Tuesday is 2 weeks and I plan on starting to exercise daily once I feel healed enough. Week one goal is 15 min per day on the treadmill and then I'll go from there.
I am hopeful that this might actually happen for me.
Its thursday March 2nd, 2 days after my surgery, I feel ok just soar. It's weird because even though i have been on a liquid diet since Monday Feb 27th, I actually gained weight but i they told me it might be because of all the fluids i intook in the hospital. Any this is the start of my new journey. I am excited.
Well two days to go and i am starting to have all of these feelings. Excited, scared, unknowing.... a lot to soak in. I was doing my usual weds night laundry and while i was standing there folding towels i was thinking how nice it is going to be to.......
Not cough and pee my pants (this is a definate plus)...
To be able to hit a home run instead of a double or triple...
To dance naked for my husband (of course with really low lighting)...
To go to Nascar with my husband and friends and not have them have to wait for me to catch up on my bike....
To go camping with my family and friends and not be afraid to get out of the water because i look like shit.....
To have my son tell me that I am beautiful and really believe it. How sweet they are at 4 years old...
To finally be able to shop for clothes in a normal size (right now 18's)..
To finally be able to get a full nights sleep.....
To finally be able to have the water in the bathtub actually go over my stomach.... holy shit that will be awesome!!!!
I am thankful that I am doing this. My husband was supposed to take me to my procedure but our oldest son (my step son) made state in wrestling in ohio. I absolutly made him buy a ticket to be there! These are things that you can never replace. My dear friend and customer is taking me. She had a GB about 2 years ago so she knows exactly what I am feeling.... what a great friend!
Okay so I only got about 3 hours of sleep lastnight so my ass is dragging right now... i am going to sleep! :notagree
Great day! So little pain that I am amazed. I can cough without grabbing my belly.
Kashli go lean for breakfast
Ice tea with sweetNlow
Cottage cheese chewed well for lunch
cream of chicken soup for dinner
jello/SF applesauce. Non/fat dry mild all blended and chilled overnight...Not too bad.
iced tea sugarfree popcicle dropped in for extra flavor
I want flavor so bad.
Did take it easy for the day but...
tomorrow Go to the clinic to see fill specialist or Dr.???
Just postop check I guess...
Can't believe I have the band... Whooeee! Yes!!!
Today is the first day with my new fill. I am filled up to 2.5 cc's now in my 4.0 band. Im scared of this fill. Dr Kwon was sorta iffy about doing it....but I have been on a plateau now for three months~ Which is good...I didn't gain thru the holidays and I didn't gain thru the most stressful time in my life....but now its time to get back on the wagon.......even after the freekin thing rolled over me, several times. Todays diet is kiling me!!! My body is in shock. I have a headache...im more bitchy than usual....could be pms as well...but I wanna eat dammit.Im back to liquids three times a day for two days....then liquids two times a day and a pureed meal, for two days....then two shakes and a regular meal. im dying for the regular meal. i wll be okay....just need to go to bed
So I called after my last appointment to see when I could schedule my MMPI test, and Felicia said that she didn't have the calendar yet, but that they were now booking in May. After you take the MMPI, it takes 2-3 weeks before you get the results, then you have another appointment with Dr. Hess, and another with my PCP. Then when that is all done they submit your paperwork, and THEN you get to schedule your surgery. so at the very least we were looking at July, Aug. maybe even september. So per Liv's recomindation, I emailed Dr. Hess and very nicely asked if I could possbily get a sooner date for my MMPI, he emailed me back and said he was sure he could arrange something. Then this Monday, 2/27 I finally got on the calendar with my MMPI, which was for MAY 3rd!!!!! So crazy, I was feeling really down that day, thinking 2 whole months before the next step, but then I thought, this just means I will have more time to loose some weight, and become more healthy. So after thinking about it for a while I became okay with it. Then, on Tuesday Felicia called and said that she had a couple of cancelations and could I come in on March 8th, I said absolutly so now i'm scheduled for a week from today!! I'm so excited about that.
So that's today's update. Other then the surgery updates, I've lost around 12lbs and am doing really well with the eating as well as excersising regulally.
Ok, Tuesday was a long day, I had school and work, but I managed to do decent with my calories and food:
Breakfast: low sugar oatmeal: 100 calories
Lunch: Ranchero Chicken Soft Taco extra pico: 270 calories
Snack: Tall caramel mocha frapp: 330 calories
Dinner: 100 calorie bag o popcorn: 100 calories
Total: 800 calories
I didn't work out, I did walk my mile or so at school though which got me sweatin cause I had a sweater on. Then I got on the scale this morn and had somehow gained a pound. I seriously need to get regular and maybe it would help this. I am going to look into flax seed or the oil version to do something. I also need to stop weighing during the week. I need a once a week weigh in so I can't see the ups and downs and discourage me. After I got off the scale this morning which I tried 3 times I decided I was going to eat whatever I wanted today! Yeah, that is really going to help me to get that pound back off. I hate feeling discouraged. I have been fighting so hard with myself all week with my food and today is less of a fight as yesterday and if I had not have weighed I bet I would have kept on going. Well, I have done no damage yet, only have drank water this morn...So I am writing now that I will NOT cheat today!! I will stick with it and I will not get back on that scale until Sunday weigh day!! TODAY IS THE DAY!!!!
I'm having some weird mood swings. I know it's the week before my period which normally is a moody week but I just don't feel that great. Maybe I have the mushy blues? I am doing fine sticking to mushy and blended stuff but I am having a hard time sticking to a 1/2 c. I am trying to figure out if it's head hunger or physical hunger..... My calories are still SO much lower than normal but I don't want my stomach to have to work harder than it's supposed to right now.
I am just so anxious to heal and start seeing what I can do with this band. It's hard to wait more.
Let me write down what I have eaten thus far. Today hasn't been particularly healthy and not particularly bad either.
Here goes:
1 tblspn of peanut butter
1 cup of coffee w/sugar
1 cup of cereal (wheat bran) w/2% milk
1 cup of cereal (All Bran) w/2% milk
16 oz of water
1/2 bananna
1oz of VIBE
Will add more tonight.
Friday surgery day Feb 24, 2006 11 AM ((((189 LB.))))
3:30 in my room to rest. Boy do I need it!
Pain in tummy pretty bad, gas, I am sure! (Ice chips yummy!)
Vitals checked frequently, too Frequently!
4:30 Was able to pee with some coaxing...very.. slow.. intermitent stream
7:30 Tried to walk outside the room-
Not far before I threw up nearly hitting passersby how rude am I??
9:00 pm Sent husband home for his stint at visiting is not restful for me.
Told I would be released tomorrow.Vicodin all day. Potassium drip.(LOW)
Saturday Feb 25,2006 ((((184 lbs???)))):faint:
8:00 am Walked a little to dump gas. Not successful!:tired
Need to say how physical this surgery seemed. I felt like every muscle in my body had been used and abused. From neck to my calves. It felt as if I had been mugged and beaten. I could not imagine why?...The GAS ... If I didn't mention this I would be cruelly:omg: misleading you>>>
The feet compressor doobies kept me awake all night. Didn't know I
didn't have to have them on.
11:00 am Dumped the doobies and was urged
to walk and I did (Lots). Not a problem!
No gas came..
2:30 Pm Released to go home. Prescriptions faxed to drug store (closing 3:00 PM)
Husband on the way but live 20 miles from the hospital.
3:40 Drugstore drives over to hospital to deliver the prescriptions.
3:50 On the way home. Bumpy road unpleasant! Vicodin???
5:00 pain...did I mention gas pain? all night long...Pain...gas! Gas-X, Vicodin
Sunday, Feb.26
8:00 am through the day Gas pain but a little less than before!Taking all liquid meds, vitamins and smaller pills.
1:00PM visitors came to the house and I announced my surgery had been done. Only inlaws so not too judgemental....My family (only my kids and hubby know)<<>
2:00 excused myself to go rest...More Gas-X
3:00 Sent them all to the only restaurant in town for dinner. That is not at all unusual since being fat has made it not fun to be in a restaurant anyway...Was nice to not have to go with them and suffer. Vicodin, Gas-X
4:30 to 7:00 restless and not really hungry.Gas-X
8:30 to bed for rest _Gas-X, Prevacid, other meds as prescribed.
Monday Feb, 27 3:30am. Pain is greatly reduced suddenly...Feel I could do anything. Told my husband I could probably go to work if I had a job...Well, almost anything! Gas is moving, urine is normal, BM not so much...nothing since last Thursday before surgery..
Daytime....Rested alot. drank coffee, tea, protein shakes added P-Nut butter, chicken cream soup(strained) No lumps...Gas is moving! albeit
slow. My tummy let me know when...was enough.
Reassured my husband I was doing Fine. Evening. Hunger hitting. Feel weak and needy....Took an hour nap 4 to 5 PM. Watched TV drank my fluids...still needy!
8:30 Back to bed Vicodin, meds, Gas-X, all the scripts.
Tuesday Feb.28. Slept pretty well until 10:30 am
Up to make todays delites. SF jello (one box)... using half cup water. Other half with SF applesauce instead of the water Plus Added Non-fat Dry milk (DRY) and stirred thoroughly....Dissolved..Yeah...Tomorrows. Delites!:hungry:
12:15 Drinking Propel...Writing Journal..Not much to report except that about 10:00 am I had my first BM. A little crampy but tolerable and Lots of it. Where did that come from...??? (TMI) but fluid to solid/mix..
I don't work outside the home so good luck to those who do.:bored
Drink those fluids!!!
"My will shall shape the future. Whether I fail or succeed shall be no man's doing but my own.
I am the force.
I can clear any obstacle before me or I can be lost in the maze.
My choice, my responsibility. Win or lose, only I hold the key to my destiny."
~ Elaine Maxwell
Ok...it's me talking to me again.
Let's see where do I start? I think I have missed a couple of days. The good thing is that time was well spent and I didn't do anything I would regret like snacking.
Yesterday I went to the gym with Steven and really must admit I had a gooood work out. I keep forgetting to take my pen & pad with me so I can write down the exercies I do. I will try to do it from memory or at least what is left of my memory. Here goes:
45 minutes - treadmill - 11 - 15 incline (would vary depending how I felt)
hip abductor (outside muscles) 3sets of 10 at 25lbs
hib abductor (inside muscles) 3 sets of 10 at 25lbs
squats (sitting in machine) 3 sets of 10 at 90lbs, 1 set of 10 at 75lbs
squats (pushing wiht feet, still sitting) 3 sets of 10 at 90lbs
biceps curls 3 sets of 10 at 20lbs
abs (turn to left) 3sof10 @25lbs
abs (turn to right) 3sof10 @20lbs
abs(crunch) 3sof10 @40lbs
3 flights of stairs on stairclimber
10 minutes - steam room --- *** I will never pass up the steam room again. I woke this morning without any pain, soreness etc. I have never gone to the gym, worked out and wasn't very sore the next morning. I HATE being sore. In fact this is the main reason why I didn't work out.
I was pleasantly surprised yesterday when I got on the scale and saw it finally moved. I have been a bit concerned as I had not bee losing any weight. I guess now that am working out I should improved results.
Ate 3 hard boiled eggs before working out and 1 chicken patty breast afterwards.
Drank all of my water without any problems. Had a little fruit.
Than'ts all I can remember.
Oh, yea I am 5 lbs to onderland!! Cool beans, huh? When I hit 175 I will be able to see my goal in sight. Of course I am preparing for the reality that the scale might never again read 128 becuase hopefully I will gain muscle. So, instead maybe I should go into The Boutique (my closet) and grap an old pair of jeans I'd like to get into.
I'll talk to me later.
After completing all the different tests and exams, which means many trips to different specialists, it now appears the paper work is in process. I got a call from my doctors office yesterday to say that I just had to clarify if my insurance requires a previous 6 month set diet that I have followed before their approval. I have been on nothing but diet plans it seems like forever. But, good news, no previous set diet plan but a BMI of 40 or over. I qualify, but of course! Now my doctor can submit the papers for approval with the insurance company. They hope to set me up a surgery date soon. Oh, after almost a year of wait (two different doctors) it's hard to get excited until they call with a definite date. And so the process begins. I have been reading and listening to the advice of other lapband patients and that has been very helpful. Wish me luck and I could take a few prayers as well.
Vickie
I was such a good girl yesterday! There was 3 birthdays and 3 different cake passed around at work and I didn't take one piece! No cake was eaten yesterday! I did eat the breakfast taco I got from Lezlie but I only ate the eggs and sausage inside and only about half of that and didn't eat the tortilla. I was good all day long!!
Breakfast: 100 calorie pack cookies and half of inside of breakfast taco: 300 calories
Lunch: 1/2 chargrilled chicken sandwich w/ lo fat mayo and 1/2 order small fries: 300 calories
snack: 100 calorie pack cookies: 100 calories
Dinner: 100 calorie bag o popcorn: 100 calories
Totalling: 800 calories
I also did my Gazelle for 30 minutes to burn 270 calories!! -270 calories
I've been getting all of my water in and started taking 2 childrens chewable vitamins yesterday.
I have realized that the 30 minutes on the Gazelle doesn't do much for my heart rate and sweat factor like it used to. I need more to get my heart going, which is a good thing of course, but means I am going to have to spend more time working out if I just use my Gazelle. WHO has that kinda time. I will have to figure more exercises out and get out my tapes to follow along to.
WOOHOO, I am also down 1 more pound!! 6 pounds away from Onederland!! TODAY IS THE DAY!!! Slim & Slutty by Summer!! My newest mantra!
:cry :cry :cry So I am having a bad day, and it's only morning. I ate about 2000 calories last night. It was all o.k. until I saw the news. This would be something small to most folks, but it devistated me.
Nathan is starting school next year, and I have not been able to figure out who's going to pick him up. His day care doesn't pick up from this school and his school has no after-school program, so I was going to request a transfer to a school that they do pick up from. I was going to line up on Monday morning at 4:30am at the AISD main office because they said that people start lining up pretty early. Well I had no idea how early until I watched the news. They showed people who were already camped out in the parking lot. Some had even taken a week off from work and rented a trailor just to get in line. There's no way I'm going to be able to compete with that. There are only so many places available, so I would say that my odds of securing a spot is very low. So I am so upset about that because now I am at square one. Still don't know what I'm going to do when my son starts school.
I also think that I am taking it so hard because it is that time of the month. And here I was just thinking that I had the previous week without the emotional PMSing. I just feel so depressed about this.
And to top it all off, I tried to comfort myself with food. It didn't work. It probably numbed me a little bit, but now I am left with the food hangover. I look at myself in the mirror, and I see how far I have gotten with my weightloss, but am scared to be happy about it because I have been so bad. I feel like I don't deserve to be so thin because of all that I ate last night.
I am just so unmotivated right now. I feel like crawling under a rock. I feel like I did the last time I fell into a real depression. And I am scared to go back there, because once I am there, it will be hard to get out. And just like before, it was such a little thing that triggered it. For God's sake, it's not like anyone died. Why am I so bent out of shape about this?
Tuesday
204 lbs!!! I am officially down 25 lbs in 16 weeks! I had a nightmare of a fill on Saturday. Done under flouroscopy my fill doc (who will remain un-named) supposedly added .4 to bring me to 1.9ccs. I swallowed water fine but by the time I got home I was completely shut and spitting up slime and foam. By sunday I was desperate and in pain. I called Dr. Sanchez and he met me Monday and when they (he and Dr. Susanah both met me) drew out fluid I was filled to 2.4 ccs. That fill doc had put me from 1.5ccs to 2.4 ccs and it just slammed me shut. I am so upset and will never go back to that fill doc again. I went 48 hours without a bite to eat or a sip of water. I was in worse pain than I was post op. How the hell could he make a mistake like that? I know I swell after fills, I was swollen shut after surgery requiring an extra night in hospital, and I let fill guy know that I wanted to take a conservative approach on fills. He read my charts before flouro.... I went from 1.0 to 1.3 to 1.5 and had wanted to go to only 1.7ccs this time. He said that he wanted to add .4 and take me to 1.9.....but I had 2.4ccs in my band. I absolutely love Drs. Sanchez and Susanah for driving 3 hours to meet me and do an unfill!!!!!and they didnt charge me a penny! I just dont understand how my fill doc could make such a mistake....needless to say I will never go back to him. I am now at 2.1 and taking off .3ccs was instant relief. It felt so good to drink that cup of water that I dont even mind being on liquids for a few days.
b..... oatmeal with some flaxseed
l......Cream of chicken soup
d.....chicken with mushrooms and some sauteed zuchinni with squash
I had no issues at all with breakfast or lunch and went for a normal supper and had no problems. I guess the liquids and mushies arent as necessary after an unfill.
right now i feel like crying. i just read someones journal. wow. all new struggles that i had not thought about. i have read, looked at before and afters, received info... FOR A YEAR! i will be 44 in two days, 3/1. my finances are in order, thanks to that good old standby, Mr. 2nd mortgage. i feel good about it. the first step was setting up my seminar appointment on 3/2. i see it as my birthday present. i cant do this on my own anymore. the huffing and puffing with putting on nylons, or holding my breath while putting on my tennis shoes... ok, that has gone on for a while now. but... trouble with socks? underwear? arg!! not sure excatly how much i weigh... maybe 230ish. almost 100lbs since highschool. geez. :cry
I have been researching this surgery for a year, and never told my family because they are usually pretty negative. But they were really supportive! I was shocked!!
But yesterday I found out my mom has a lump in her lymph node in her neck. That's not good. My concern for her has taken the wind out of my sails about my own problems.:cry
I am so nervous!!
My breathing and asthma is really bad right now, so I am so nervous I will have a problem. Last night my boyfriend said I was snoring pretty badly and kept waking myself up. I wake up feeling pretty lousy.
I was reading on obesityhelp about a guy who's lungs were not breathing right from the surgery and they had to put him on a breathing machine and sedate him because he paniced and tried to pull out the tubes. He woke up 3 days later and had no idea what happened.
I am also nervous because I have Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue (Epstein Barr) which are considered auto-immune diseases.
I'm wondering if I will be one of the ones here who are always in pain or having a problem with the band.My doctor took my medical history, so he knows about it and didn't say anything other than banding would help my symptoms.I was on another board and people with Fibro all said the lap band helped them, so that's a relief. This weight is killing me. I'd do with a some twinges, pangs and dings to get myself healthier if I have to, but I sure hope that won't be the case.
Well, I sent in my application on February 17th and got a call on February 24th for an appointment with Dr. Eid. I am scheduled to see him and begin this journey on March 16th. I can't wait.
I have struggled with this weight my entire life and I can't do this anymore. I am so excited. I want to go now!! :bandit
I'm literally almost crying reading this. Mostly because I'mon this pre-op diet and these last two days have been difficult... but also because I needed this! Thank you! Congrats! And a BIG congrats on quitting smoking a second time! It was hard enough to do it once... So - when I say BIG congrats... I mean BIIIIIG congrats! ❤️
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