tick tock tick tock tick tock... i dont know what is wrong with the man who is preparing my psych eval . It has been 14 days and it still hasnt been faxed over!! That is my ticket to band land and he is taking far to long to deliver - what the junk. half the problem is waiting on all these PEOPLE. dont they want to turn the geers in that center?
Well I missed my appt today. My BF reset the alarm clock because he knew I didnt have school today. I tried to reschedule for later but they werent having that....so my appt is now 6/6/6 .....oh geez I didnt even realize that is 666 not a good sign right. Oh well we shall see what happens.
TTYL
Banded on 5/10/2006 at 250 lbs. It was an ouch!!! Definitely don't want to do that again! Rested for the first two days, then started getting up and around. Went back to work on Monday, and was a light-headed fool!! Too much too soon!! However, today, Tuesday was better. And, guess what?? I am 11 1/2 lbs thinner. That makes me feel really really good.:clap2:
I went back to work on Monday. I did pretty well, but around 2pm I started feeling sore and really tired. Went home. Took pain meds and slept for 3 hours.
ON Tuesday, I stayed until 4pm and then went home. Things are improving.
I told my co-workers today. We always have lunch together so they have noticed that my food is a little different now. So, I said it was time I shared what was going on. They had a lot of questions, but at least there was no opposition to having the band which is why I didn't tell them beforehand. One of the women said that her husband came home last night saying that his Dr. suggested the LapBand (he is really overweight). She really had a lot of questions. Later in the day, she asked about the scars, so I took her into my office and showed her my battle belly.
Tomorrow, I go back to Dr office for a one-week check up.
Well ok today was my 1st fill and my doc was kinda dissappointed in me:confused: cause instead of loosing i gained alot (his words) I felt bad. He ask me what type of foods have i been eating i told him, no snacks and no bread but i said i don't stop when i feel satisfied and thats bad i drink while eating and thats a big nono its like i know this but at times it get hard. But today i go 1.4cc so we can see how that goes. I really gotta get back on my game today. Well let me go now i am going to clean my room, fold my clothes and then sit down and put a exercise scheldule out i am going to start walking because i don't want to not suceed at this band plus that would be alot of money wasted but ok let me go now hopefully this fill will do me some good and help me out with some restriction but ok gotta go.
05-10-06
It is three days until my 34th birthday and I have scheduled lap-band surgery for June 27, 2006 with Dr. Roberto Rumbaut in Monterrey, Mexico. I am currently at 243lbs but only 3 weeks ago I weighed 256lbs:faint: . I was shocked to see that I weighed so much. I was depressed to the point of tears and felt hopeless when it came to the thought of losing weight and keeping it off. My husband and I had been discussing gastric bypass. I had recently come in contact with two ladies I had once been very good friends. Both of them had RNY surgery and both had been successful at losing weight. It was on my mind and I couldn’t get it off. I read my friend Jerri’s profile on the web and I began to cry. As I read her experiences of wearing smaller clothes, her husband making good comments about how she looked, being able to feel comfortable in an airplane seat, I knew that I had to do whatever it took to make those same experiences happen for me. Over the course of the next few weeks my husband and I got serious. We researched each night and found that Lap Band surgery was the best option for me and since we would have to be responsible for the entire cost we decided to check on options in Mexico. On Friday May 5th we scheduled a surgery date with Dr. Rumbaut. On Saturday, May 6th we booked our airline tickets. Now with my birthday just 3 days away I am more excited about the possibility of losing weight than I have ever been. I know that it will happen for me. As a result I am doing 40 minutes of cardio 5-6 times per week, cutting down on what I eat, drinking water. I have already lost 13lbs since the night that I felt so low. I am so excited and I can hardly wait to begin the journey to Mexico for surgery. I know that every pound, every inch that I lose between now and then just takes me one step closer to my new life in “skinny clothes” and living in a healthy body
5-16-06
Time is flying and I am so busy with the end of school wrapping up. I truly believe that when the school year rolls around again I will look and feel alot different. I made it through my birthday but it was yet another wake up call. We went to my husband's uncle's funeral. He was a large man and suffered from a massive heart attack at the age of 61. I know now more than ever before I have to get control of the weight before it takes complete and total control of ME!:help:
What is it with our bodies eh? Last week and this ?I made a few bad food choices and maybe overdid the cals a bit...then I go and lose 5lbs! Go figure!
Mums visit and not feeling too good for last few days knocked me off course a little but hope to get back on the wagon tomorrow and be rocking again by end of the week.
394--- and tomorrow is going to be 390 then 389--385---380---379---375 I just like looking at that number.
My birthdayand bandiversary goal 375. At last weight in I was 19 pounds away. :Banane09:
394, 393, 392, 391, 390, 389....... {375 July 4/8}
So far 35 miles of walking this month. MAY
I'm EXCITED...I am just so pleased at what I have accomplished.
459- 394 WOW I'm below 400, I am so happy, I can walk for 3 miles and not die, I can say no to food.
I feel like I can do so much more now. I use to sit and think about exercising and now if somone says let's walk.....:bolt: I would be gone....to sit somewhere else. I feel energized and I want everyone else to feel the same way.
As for today, it was a successful day. But this evening, I've been grazing...chewing and spitting. ick. And not good things either...just things. Left overs from Trin's plate...duh.
I know this is the time on a normal diet I would cave. Completely, udderly go into the fridge and eat anything and everything until I couldn't breathe.
Honestly, I'm afraid of the skinny me. I don't know what kind of person she is, how she copes...is she friendly, or will she ruin all the safe relationships I've built? And at this moment, when i see success staring me in the brain...I want to quit. Not really, but in this moment i yell and scream and fight for staying fat. Why??? That's ultimately the question. If i can figure out the 'why' I can have my "Oprah moment'". But I think I;m afraid to consider what it might be.
Clear liquids for 2 weeks?? When everyone else is on full??? Gimme a break!!! How come? I want to be normal...alas, for years I haven't been normal. For years I have eaten like a fiend, made myself and everyone around me uncomfortable...I;'ve started the back pain and the joint pain, and I can't live there. That's why I had to have the surgery...so I wouldn't back down.
So now, just because the wedding ring is fitting loosley, and the clothes are fitting loosely, and the bone structure is peeking out, this isn't he reason to quit. Fish will come soon enough...that's what I want my first 'meal' to be, broiled fish. It won't be long. I've been eaing my whole life, so perhaps now I can just be patient for a couple more weeks. It won't be long, and then it'll get easier. And now I wait, and pray...
Okay, so I'm post-op, still healing, but doing better and better every day. So, now that the post-op "easy" weight is off, it's time to start working for it. So I thought i would get back to my monthly "small" goals list.
1. Get to 225 by my first fill appointment with Dr. H on June 1st.
2. Continue to track my food intake online
3. Start going to the gym at least 3 times a week
4. cook a new meal from my book at least once a week
Well, I'm 19 days post-op which is so hard to believe. Surgery went well, no complications and I've lost 15lbs since surgery, 35 total!! I'm not going to go into details right now but wanted to post an update.
I have to say I am excited about weighing in tomorrow.:whoo:
I'm in the groove of this walking now and it feels good. I really want to add more but once TTC begins I know it will help. I see my body changing a little at a time but I love seeing the numbers coming down on the scale.
459----398---394--- and tomorrow is going to be 390 then 389--385---380---379---375 I just like looking at that number. My birthdayand bandiversary goal 375. At last weight in I was 19 pounds away. :Banane09:Tomorrow should be 15 pounds away. I can do this.
I have 54 days to my bandiversary.
Thank God for all of my support:grouphug:, LBT, MD LB Suuport Group, my child, my friends. They keep me motivated!!!
I'm eatin today LOL. Jeff fixed chicken fried steak, cream gravy, hashbrowned potatoes, and three eggs. Lunch, leftover hashbrowned potatoes. Snack, baked ziti.
I'm nervous about tomorrow. I saw something on a website that says the average person only loses 47% of their weight with the surgery but that would be 150 pounds roughly and that seems like a darn good start. Hopefully things will go good tomorrow. My appointment is at 3:45. :clap2:
I remember Optifast. I remember hairloss. I just want health now. I was diagnosed Friday with Type II Diabetes and I don't see Dr. Joslin for that until Wednesday. Today is Sunday, Mother's Day. I haven't called Mom yet but between what I can't tell her, Diabetes and Surgery, not much to say right now except thanks for being my mom. That's enough I think
This is the beginning of my journey. This past week I have been in contact with my insurance to find out if they pay for WLS, they do and there are no exclusion, thank God.
I am so nauseated today, totally miserable. I can't even seem to keep my sips of water down. My pain medication only seems to make things worse, because I am throwing it up as well. Since things are only in liquid form I don't throw up like if I ate regular food, but I feel so sick at my stomach. Now the pain in the shoulder and neck are aleviating and most recent troubles are with the stomach. If I could just throw it all up it clears the stomach but then within a short amount of time I'm back to the bloating and nausea. Gas X isn't working. :think
Today is Mother's Day. i should be in the other room enjoying my kids and husband, laughing and having fun. Instead I've just cooked lunch for the fsmily and am sitting at the computer sorting out my anger issues. Of course, i can't have anything to eat to forget them...so I'm upset about that. For Pete's sake, today is SHRIMP DAY!!! This is my day to eat every shrimp in town and not feel one bit guilty for that!!! do they make liquid shrimp??? What if I promise to spit them all out after I chew them to shreds. I Love Shrimp! And low and behold, I'm trying to avoid my hunger issues be blending into the computer with no one around. i do have a cup of chicken soup broth cookling down next to my computer so that when it cools I can drink it. Maybe that will help heal my food-longing heart.
Meanwhile, church was today. Scott did a nice job of ministering to all the women of the church with flowers and a card written to each of them to share how he feels. I think they really enjoyed it. I ended up in the nursery playing puzzles with the 2 little ones...which was cool...but I didn't get to talk to anyone after service. Oh well, as long as everone else has a nice time, it's not supposed to matter to me.
Also, because it;s Mom's day, i'm thinking a lot about mine. Miss her, wish she was here to yell at me again. But she;'s not. Had a minor meltdown on the way home from church because of it I guess...and the shrimp thing. Asked Scott if there was any cheese at home so I could make the nachos I had been talking about for 2 days and he said no...well, duh! I haven't been eating it, so I assumed he would keep tabs on that for me. My error...turns out, we did have enough cheese to feed them today...but it didn't stop me from becomming upset about it in the car while I was driving and drive like a lunatic...a safe lunatic, but a lunatic nonetheless. I'm thinking about bringing this brother to a boil and adding some egg whites.
There's another thing I'm ticked about. What the heck is the difference between clear liquid, full liquid, and some other kind of liquid I can't think of right now. I mean i don't want definitions...I really know the difference. BUT I want a full menu of each stage so I have a map that says yes and no. I need to be able to consume about 10 more kinds of liquids to come close to getting in what I need to each day. I'm missing the protein and calorie mark by a long shot...I have to be.
Truthfully, I mentally want to eat again...just for today, and then i say tomorrow I'll be better, but I know that's not true either. ONE STINKIN' SHRIMP! j/k
Oh well...I have made it this far with minimal cheating. chewing to chew and then spitting it out...but I don't think that counts toward being successful either. About this time in a typical diet I have caved...I'm beginning to see where I'm losing weight...fingers, face, feet...so now that I can feel it, I can quit. That's my MO. Not this time though...I can't quit...ever...this is a decision for life.
My dream is that food will not consume me...my thoughts, my dreams, my life...that it won't overtake me and hold me captive. My hope is that I experience this freedom before I die. Anther day to think and pray.
Last Tuesday I had my second fill - another 1ml. I have felt really good restriction all week but have felt a little easing off today but I'm not hungry as such just when I eat I dont feel as restricted. I'm back down to 101kg which is what I was a week after surgery. I am booked infor another fill next Tuesday and I'm hoping for another fill. My doctor said I will probaby need at least 3ml. Today is Mothers Day:
I ate:
Coffee
Sm bowl yogurt
Coffee
1 Glass of Champagne
Chicken & Avocado entre
Fish and salad - only ate 2/3
Nudie ice block
2 glasses champagne
It went great! We came home last night. I virtually had no pain at all,
just little soreness from the incisions. And was tired too so went to bed
as soon as we got home around 9 pm. I was up just about every hour though
going to the bathroom, and at 2 a.me. I was feeling little pain - like
someone had kicked me in the gut, so I cut up a pain pill and took that. My
mouth has been so dry too - just terrible!
If you want details - here yaw go ~grin~ warning...its long!
We left Mora on Thurs evening about 5:30 pm, and got to the hotel shortly
after 7, watched some to.vs.. and went to sleep early (as per your
instructions~grin~) Very nice hotel and the showers were fantastic! I got
up at 4:30 Friday morning and showered, then we took the 5 a.me. shuttle to
the hospital. Could've taken the 5:30 one, but didn't want to be late. Sat
around and waited until 6 when they called me in to go get prepped. Craig
was like, what do I do? They told him to just sit tight and someone would
come to get him when I was ready. They weighed me (I had lost 14 pads since
this all began) and did all that other junk - drew blood, changed into the
lovely gown, etc. Then Craig came back and sat with me. Poor guy was so
bored. Then at 7:15 the anesthetist (sp?) came in and said he was going to
give me something to relax me. Apparently I said that I was feeling dizzy
and don't remember ANYTHING until I woke up in recovery. So weird isn't I?
LOL Craig said we kissed each other, said our I love you's and see you
later's, and they wheeled me off, so he went to the waiting room - thinking
an hour later I would be done and he could go get his shower. Well an hour
and a half goes by and he is going nuts - no news so he asked the
receptionist what was going on, she checked and informed him that there had
been an emergency come up for Schlosser right as they were taking me into
surgery so my surgery was postponed a little bit - and they were just
starting me now! 9 o'clock! I woke up in the recovery room and noticed the
time was 10:10 and thought, gee, it took alot longer than they thought it
would, but you know at that point you are just happy its over with and you
are on the road to recovery. By 11:30 my nurse was on the phone trying to
get it arranged to transfer me upstairs to my room and getting very
impatient with the wait - and someone else was coming into recovery from
surgery, etc. Finally they took me up to my room and got me all situated in
there and then Craig walks in, looking really ticked off about something.
After everyone left the room I said what's wrong? He said well what the
hell is going on? Someone out there had told him that there had been
complications and that I wouldn't be going home that nite and he was upset.
I reassured him that they must've been referring to someone else because
everyone that I had talked to had said that I would be going home that
night. I guess once I was out of surgery,. he went back to the hotel,
showered and packed up and checked out of the hotel, then came back to the
hospital and someone in the waiting room area had told him that. Poor guy
was freaking out. He still hadn't eaten anything so I shooed him off to go
and get something to eat - and then I rested while he was gone.
The gal in the bed next to me - oh my gawd - I felt so sorry for her. At
first I wasn't sure what was going on over there, just listening - couldn't
help but hear. Her mom, 2 little girls, and her sister were there when I
got there and this lady (patient) was upset because she had entered her two
little girls in a state baby pageant in Alex, paid 200 bucks for an entry
fee for them, and now she couldn't take them cause she was sick in the
hospital. I didn't know what had happened to her at that point. Her sister
told her that she would take the girls to the pageant for her, and her
mother kept saying it wasn't that important, etc. Kind of like a family
fight. I was like- ya know what, just whisper or something? I just got out
of surgery and don't want to listen to this arguing, PLUS the two little
girls were wild and noisy. I just laughed and said can't I get a day off
from kids God? Some time later they all left - apparently the sister did
take the girls to the pageant and mom was gone too - so just this lady in
the bed next to me. We never talked. She was really sick though. She had
had gastric bypass on the 14th of April (the day I wanted to have it) and
Schlosser did her surgery. She was fine the first 3 weeks, then last Mon
she started throwing up this green junk, so went to the hospital and they
admitted her for further tests. She hadn't eaten anything - and couldn't
keep anything down, not even water. I think they took her back into surgery
though yesterday to see if there was a tear or leak or something cause I
overheard Schlosser telling her that she couldn't see anything with her
telescope. I wonder what it could be. Schlosser told her that the only
thing she could think that it might be was that her sinus's were draining
into her stomach. (the gal had a bad cold). Hope she gets better though -
man that would suck!
Ok - now back to my story. Craig comes back from lunch and is a much
happier guy now (typical man). The plan was for me to have the x-ray at 3
pm, then i had to drink stuff and pee and then I could go. We were thinking
we should get out of there by 5 pm. No such luck. The x-ray went fine -
man no one told me that stuff you had to drink those was nasty! YUCK! I
hope I never have to drink that again. Got that done and then they pushed
me out into the hall and I waited there for 1/2 hour. I finally said
something to this hall monitor older lady that was out there and she raised
a ruckus about it for me. She told me that they do that all the time and it
was just very disrespectful she thought - so her job was to make sure things
like that didn't happen. She told me I was a good sport at least 3 times,
LOL. Back up to the room and Craig is crabby again- just tired of waiting
I"m sure. I found out he isn't a very good bedside companion - but he is an
awesome nurse - just give him something to do. Sitting on that uncomfy
chair for hours was driving him crazy. I told him to take a nap and he
did - and woke up much happier (thankfully) We waited and waited some more.
Finally my new nurse came in and I asked her what the plan was now - I had
had the x-ray, now what? She said that I had to drink something and pee
then I could go - if all goes as planned I should be out by 7 pm. So I
drank one glass down, then tried to pee, and just alittle came out - so
drank some more and was about half done with that and brought me a tray of
food - broth, apple juice and jello (the jello was really yummy). I looked
at hubby and said i didn't know if I could consume all of that, plus drink
all that water, plus pee more - I was feeling rushed. He said no rush now -
he wanted to at least stay through Deal or No Deal. LOL Ok - pressure was
off, but I kept to my tasks and finished everything without any
complications. Called the nurse in at 7:30 and told her that I was ready to
go. She offered me some pain med in my iv for the road - which I took, just
in case but really didn't need it that much. She said i must have a high
pain tolerance cause i hadn't had any pain meds all day - told her that I
didn't have any pain! Oh well - took the shot anyway - just made me sleepy
on the way home. Craig went to get the car and they wheeled me down to the
door to wait for him. They had this huge wheelchair that two people
could've sat on, but the gal pushing it said she liked it cause it was kind
of automatic and she didn't have to push it - just steer it and stop it.
Craig pulled up, I jumped in the car and we were home shortly after 9 pm.
About 6 miles from home my tummy started feeling queasy and I was like oh
crap, I'm going to get sick. I just lightly rubbed my tummy and the
queasiness went away. Soon after we got home I went to bed though. So nice
to sleep in my own bed!
I woke up at midnight, and every hour after that to go to the bathroom. At
2 a.m. when I got up I was like, uh oh - no I'm feeling pain, but is it
17,000 of pain? No it was just like a bad bruise pain so I hobbled out to
the kitchen to get the pain meds and cut one up to take it then wobbled back
to bed. Woke again every hour to go to the bathroom, but not with the pain
like before. Got up this morning about 9 and took a shower and got dressed.
Felt good to wash my hair and brush my teeth! Then I sat down to the
computer and have been working on this email to you amidst phone calls.
Abbott called this morning to see how I was doing - I thought that was nice.
I did have some questions for them, mostly about what to do with the
band-aids - leave them on, change them or what? She said to leave them on
until they fell off. I am to go back in now in 2-3 weeks for a post-op
check up and visit with the dietician - then again in 3 more weeks hopefully
for my first fill - right?
Its kind of amazing how comfortable I am driving down there now that I've
done it a couple times. I drove down there Thurs night so hubby could eat
on the way. He likes it too that he doesn't have to drive all the time. I
told him that I wanted to start doing more of the driving so that I wouldn't
get so out of sink with it and I think its really helped.
Well I am just about finished taking the pain meds for my noon schedule,
lol, takes forever to get all the pills taken during the day. I just
finished breakfast and then started taking the pills. Weird. I'm feeling
alittle sleepy now and so am going to go and lie down for a bit.
I'm so thankful that everything turned out ok, and now hope that this "tool" will help me lose weight and keep it off.
Thats all for now.......Hugzzzzzz Deb
I am feeling much better then my last post. I guess it is normal to go through feelings of depression and sadness once in a while. I also have realized that I cant put all the blame on my Dr. I dont think he sees me and says "I am going to mess up her life today" It is just a freak thing that happened. And if you really look at it, its not all really all that bad. I havent slipped or eroded to make me lose my band forever. I just have a leak and its getting replaced. I had an infection in the port and it got removed. That is what is suppose to be done. I went back and edited a lot of my posts on here so it doesnt read so dramatic. I am staying with my Dr. I have been with him a year and I am going to get him the chance to fix this mess. I knew that there could be possiable complications having this I am STILL willing to take that risk. I cant give up hope yet, I have to keep going. I need a better life for myself and if I am willing to go all the way with this... I know my Dr. is too. I started this thing to lose and by golly I AM GOING TO FINISH!!!!!!! Holes, Leaks and all!!!!
I'm literally almost crying reading this. Mostly because I'mon this pre-op diet and these last two days have been difficult... but also because I needed this! Thank you! Congrats! And a BIG congrats on quitting smoking a second time! It was hard enough to do it once... So - when I say BIG congrats... I mean BIIIIIG congrats! ❤️
Was sind last resting-place besten Gewinnchancen in einem Casino? "Einarmige Banditen"
Einarmige Banditen
Casinos werden in erster Linie mit Roulette und Poker in Verbindung gebracht, aber Statistiken zeigen, dass 61 % der Besucher von Spielhallen ihre Zeit damit verbringen, einarmige Banditen zu spielen (Daten von 2013 von der American Gaming Association). Perish Regeln der Spielautomaten sind sehr einfach, und der niedrige Mindesteinsatz macht sie auch fur decease armsten Spieler zuganglich.